Puberty Talks and Back-to-School Prep – Ep. 428

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Laura

Welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. This week, we have our weekly check-ins. We have our special segment, What's in Your Bag?, where we find out what Shanna has copious quantities of, and I reveal why my large bag isn't a bag at all. And we close with our BFPs and BFNs for the week. Let's get started. Hello, hello, hello, everyone. Welcome to episode 428 of Big Fat Positive. Hi, Shanna. Hi.

Shanna

Let's get right to it. Tell me about your week. This is the last week of summer break, and it's a weird one because my kids start school on Thursday. So it's like, half camp, half school. Didn't this happen last year? Or was last year a Friday? Last year was a Friday, so I guess they did us a favor with making it Thursday. I don't know. It's so, I don't know. It's just a weird transition, right? Like, I had the kids scheduled for camp right up until Wednesday, and I'm like, that is too weird, right, to go to camp the Wednesday and then school. So I was like, all right, let's not have them go to camp on Wednesday. At least that'll be like one transition day. It'll be me hanging out with the girls and we'll get ready for school. We'll pack backpacks, we'll trim hair, like all the little

things, set out our new outfits, all the things to get ready for school. So that was the structure for the week.

Laura

I think that's smart. They need a little bit of buffer time psychologically, like I would, for sure. Do they already know who their teachers are going to be?

Shanna

They were on pins and needles all week because I think most schools do this now from what I gather, but they announce the classroom and the teacher the night before school starts.

Laura

Yeah, our school's like that too. They're going to announce it at 4pm the day before. And I was talking to another parent and they were like, oh yeah, that's because that's when the office closes. Like they will not announce it until everyone's out of the office. So no parents can come and lodge a complaint.

Shanna

Yes, yes, that is very smart. Parents in my various parent groups that I've got, WhatsApp, Facebook, all that for the school, did some digging and figured out that on some app, I don't know, some school app, you could go in and see what classroom your kid was assigned to for the year. And then another parent was like, here's a list of all the teachers in their classroom numbers from open house. You know, so everyone is like, oh my gosh, like trying to get that early intel. I'm telling you, it was like one day early. And I fell victim

to it too. I was so excited. I was like, oh my God, I got to figure out who's, you know, I did find out like who they were assigned to, but I didn't tell the kids yet because I don't know for sure what teachers are going to be in those rooms. But anyway, they formally announced it the day before school and both girls are very excited about their teachers in the upcoming year.

Laura

Oh, that's good. You know, it's so funny because I'm really excited to find out what classes my kids are going to be in, but I have no idea who any of the kindergarten or second grade teachers are anyway. So I don't know why I care, you know?

Shanna

Yeah, it becomes a little more exciting when you've got that younger kid coming up through and you do know some of the teachers, you know, like Cece's going into second grade and she's like, oh my gosh, I really want Mr. Lee because that's who Elle had. And, you know, they kind of got to know each other and stuff. And she's just been like all summer. Oh, I hope I get Mr. Lee. I hope I get Mr. Lee. And that's who she got. So, oh my gosh, she's

Laura

so excited. I do feel like schools often will put siblings in the class that their sibling had been in. It just seems like it. I don't know if that's true.

Shanna

Sometimes I do think that's true. I'm not sure the strategy of placing classes, but it is true this year. And the only touch of a downside is that Mr. Lee is expecting a baby in like a few days. So he is going to be at school for a couple days and then go on paternity leave for like a month. Oh, yeah. So I mean, that's tough for the kids, but so great for him. I know. I know. I'm really excited for him. And since I'm familiar with him, I feel very comfortable that he's, you know, set the classroom up for success. So anyway, Laura,

before I talk about the first day, this Wednesday, right, this gap day, that was the mama day where I made a list. I was like, we're going to get ready for school. It was like pack, backpacks, trim hair, all this stuff. One of the things that I did, do you remember a while back when I was like, I think my girls need to like, you know, learn a bit more about periods and puberty and that kind of thing. So I started making a period deck in Canva to share with them. Yeah. Yeah. I never did share that with them because I forgot about it and I never finished it.

Well, I was motivated this week because I was like, well, part of packing the backpacks, especially for Elle, she's older now, is, you know, I want to make sure she's got like a little readiness kit, like a tween puberty readiness kit. And I had bought stuff for this kit ages ago, months ago. It's been sitting in my closet. And so I was like, well, if I give her that, I guess I need to present my deck. So I crammed to like finish up, you know, finish this deck or whatever. And so that day I was like, girls, come here. I called him into the family room and I had put it up on the TV, you know, from my computer. I did Apple screen share, whatever. I was like, come here, I have something to show you. And it was just like the first slide, right? It just said periods. And Elle's like, what is it? And she comes in and she like stopped short and like looked at the screen and like

Laura

almost started slowly backing away. And I was like, oh, this is going to go great. I can't wait. I can see her. I can like visualize that exact moment, the skepticism in her face.

Shanna

But what I did do and I think was really smart is the subtitle on the first card was including trivia and a special gift at the end. So I think that drew her in. So she started back in the way, but then she was like, okay, and came and sat down and Cece came in, did the literal same thing. I swear to God, she walked in, she saw it and was like, who? And like started to step away. But, you know, my kids can't pass up a free gift. So they did sit down, listen to my presentation.

Laura

Do you think it was the content of the presentation or the fact that you were trying to show them a deck that was unappealing to them? Like, cause you know, kids be like, hey, let me show you a slideshow. It's always like the most interesting thing.

Shanna

Oh my gosh. I 100% think it's because of the content because my kids, especially Elle, my kids love a deck. I mean, Elle puts them together for school. She's put together many presentations. She loves it. The kids love TV screens, you know? So true, true. I think they were just a little bit like, what are we doing here? But they were really good sports and you know, I included videos. I included some funny trivia and jokes and, you know, along with some info. And then at the end, we went through all of the items and they packed up their little kits and, you know, Cece's was not, you know, really period focused, but I didn't want her to feel left out. So I gave her like little lotion and a little lip balm and just like a couple of fun, cute things to put in her backpack.

Laura

That's very proactive. I love that you needed a deadline for this. And also that like, somehow you also managed to procrastinate this. And I'm not saying that in a judgmental way. I do the exact same thing, but you know, it's like the length that we will go to like, wait until the last minute to do something. It extends into teaching your children about puberty. It's like, oh shit, Elle's going to school tomorrow. And she's now at the age that, you know, anything could happen and she needs to know, I better finish this at midnight tonight.

Shanna

Oh, I wish I could say it was at midnight. It was literally the morning of like, right before I even showed it to them. I was like, girls, go watch TV for a little bit. And I came in my office, you know, export. And like, look, Elle has been educated about bodies, puberty periods, all that stuff for ages. You know, we've been given her books, reading books with her. She's interested and curious about that stuff. So I definitely didn't feel like, oh my gosh, she has to learn all about it now. It's more like, I don't know, I wanted to, I don't know why I wanted

to do this. I guess just to like, I wanted it to be like a, just like an inclusive reminder, a family thing, just to like completely de-stigmatize it, right? Like it's, you know, you're talking about it with your mom, like your sister's here. Honestly, Steve would have been here too, but he was at work. And you know, I didn't plan the timing of any of this well. So it just happened while he was at work, but he would have been there too. And yeah, and just having a lightness to it, like some of the dorky jokes and all that stuff. So it was definitely like slightly cringe, but also sweet. And you know, I'm glad that that we did it and that Elle feels prepared. Yay, that's so cool. Yeah. But anyway, so we got all prepared for school on Wednesday.

And then the first day was Thursday. And I don't know, Thursday, Friday were great. The girls were absolutely thrilled to go to school, came home happy, reporting on all the friends that are in their classes. And seems like it's going to be a good school year.

Laura

Yay, back to school. No more camp situation for nine months.

Shanna

That's right. That's right. So anyway, that's my last week of summer check-in. What about you, friend? How are things going over there?

Laura

We're good. We're back in town. We got back from Portland on Tuesday of this week. The rest of our trip was fun. We mostly just hung out with family. But one of the days we drove down to McMinnville, which is about an hour away from Portland to go to the North American Aerospace Museum, which is like this series of giant rooms, like a giant hangar and like another enormous building, pretty much in the middle of nowhere and like the middle of fields, which has all these like planes and helicopters and like military jets. And they even had a bunch of stuff from like space exploration, space travel satellites, yada, yada.

To check out. But their real like centerpiece is the Spruce Goose, which is the largest sea plane that was ever built. And it was also like the largest wingspan of any plane that flew all the way up until like 2019. Like it held the record till 2019. And it was built in 1947 by

Shanna

Howard Hughes. If you've ever seen The Aviator, like it's about this plane and his obsession with

Laura

building this plane. And it only had one very brief flight in Long Beach, actually. And then it was in Long Beach in a hangar for a really long time before it was moved up to this Oregon Museum in 1992. So anyway, it's it's really cool. And Corey was really excited to see it because I don't know what it is. I think this place was very dad coded. You know, it was like, it was one of those things where like I walked in and I was like, oh, man, my dad would have loved this place. You know, like he would have spent the whole day here just talking about the history of every military plane level. And Corey's not like a huge aviation buff or anything. But something switches on, I think, with dads when they walk in there and they suddenly know things.

Shanna

Was he teaching the boys about stuff that he maybe never knew before that moment?

Laura

He tried. They were not super receptive to learning. They were very interested in the military planes and wanted to like, look at all the guns and the missiles and stuff like that, which, you know, very in line with their interests. And Corey was trying to show them other things. They're like, whoa, look at that plane just like running off to it. We actually split up a bunch because they both wanted to go different places. Well, more specifically, Sebastian wanted to spend the entire time in this tiny little plane that the front was like painted to look like a shark. You know how they'll do that on some planes. But it's like a one seater itty bitty plane that they would allow kids to climb into and like pretend they were flying that apparently was like assembled by some guy. Like it was like a DIY assembled plane. Ooh, that apparently was a thing like you could order a kit to

build these planes that you could fly. And I'm like, this sounds like a bad idea. But I guess sounds real bad. But I guess it worked and it was safe. I'm going to send you a photo of him in the plane because it's just adorable. He was having the best time and he honestly just we would have sat in that plane for hours like every once in while he had to leave so another kid could play in it. And then he would go right back.

Shanna

All right. I got to see this. Oh, my God. That thing is that thing looks like a seat you would get your haircut in it bubble cuts. That is so much smaller than I thought it would be. That looks like a playground

Laura

toy. I know. And a grown adult man apparently flew it all over. Wow. I mean, that does look really

Shanna

cool and fun. I could see why he would be into this and not want to leave it.

Laura

Yeah. Augie also liked it. And even Augie looked cramped in it. I'm going to send you a picture

Shanna

of him trying to fit in it. His knees are like practically up to his chest.

Laura

Oh, this thing is tiny. It's hilarious. Yeah, but that was fun. That was kind of the highlight of the end of the trip. And then we came back to LA and my mom joined us and we just tried to pack in the fun. Because next week, our school starts on Wednesday. So this is like our last full week of summer. And we were trying to do all the fun things. So we went to Chuck E. Cheese. And on Friday, when your girls were their second day of school, my mom and I took the boys back to Universal. So we did like a whole day at Universal with my mom and just having a fun week. So we really I feel like we're really ending the summer with a bang, you know, like really? Yeah, no regrets, you know? Good. That sounds really fun. Are they feeling ready for school?

They say no, right? Because they haven't been in camp for like almost a month, right? So they haven't had any structure. They've been going to Portland. They've been going they've been to Universal three times in the last two weeks. Oh, my gosh. It's a lot. Yeah. And they just think this is their life now. So Sebastian's excited to start a new school. But he's also nervous. He's got, you know, he's got mixed feelings. And he it's so cute. He'll say it. He'll be like, I feel excited.

But I also feel scared. I was like, yeah, I know, maybe it's okay. And yeah, I so they will not admit that they want to go back to school, but they need it so bad. Yeah, I think they'll never admit it. But they're gonna love it. Like they and they really do want that structure back. And, you know, other friends, too. They've only been hanging out with each other, mostly, for the last couple weeks. And you know how that goes. Yeah, yeah, it really does provide so many

Shanna

great things with the structure and the social groups. And, you know, obviously, the learning and

Laura

all that jazz, too. But yeah, school's school's awesome. School is awesome. So I'm sure I will be checking in about their first few days at school next week. But for now, I think it's time to move

Shanna

on to our special segment. What do you think? I think it is. We are back. And this week's special segment is what's in your bag, where we explore the interesting, unusual or funny things that we've discovered in our purses, backpacks, any, any bag we carry as parents, because you know, those things collect some weird stuff. And we want to find out what it is. Laura, you're up first. What's in your

Laura

bag? Okay, I'm going to tell you something I found. And then I want you to like guess why it's remarkable that they're in my bag. Or, you know, unusual. Okay, so I found two Ikea gift cards in my bag.

Shanna

Hmm, lucky. Why is that notable? Oh, is that it? I thought it was going to continue. The list was

Laura

going to continue. Okay. Nope, that's it. Just two Ikea gift cards. Why was I like, oh my god?

Shanna

Okay, here's what I think. If I'm right, and you want me to guess again, because you know, I'm so good at guessing. Let's see. I think that you guys went to Ikea. And as you were checking out, there was a display of gift cards. And one of your kids just took some, because that's what kids do sometimes. They just like think they're toys. They're fun, like freebies or something. Mine do. I don't know. And so you didn't realize it. You walked out with a couple unloaded Ikea gift cards, and they somehow ended up in your bag. That's a good guess. It's not right, though. Okay. My kids

Laura

actually, I think they've tried to take the gift cards. And I'm like, no, no, no, you're not like, you're not allowed to take them. And also, they don't do anything until you put money on them. And they lost interest. No, these are notable, because first of all, it's summer. And they are covered in Christmas decorations, you know, snowflakes and little elves, right? So it's obviously from a different era. And then I look closely, it's for $5. There were two of them, each for $5. I was like, okay, that's not very much. And then I look at the date on them. And it says not valid until December 1st, 2022.

Shanna

Oh, so you've had them in there for at least four years, maybe? At least. Yeah, yeah. Maybe more? Mm-hmm.

Laura

Yes. And then I remembered where they came from, which was, they were a little bonus that each kid got in a Ikea chocolate advent calendar that my mom got for them in 2022. Oh. And I have kept these in my purse for like four years now. I think out of guilt, like, because there's a lot of random crap in my purse, right? But like, I've kept them because I'm like, these are the kids gift cards, right? Like, I can't spend them. But it's not like we go to Ikea all the time, you know? Yeah.

And then when we have gone, I don't have that bag or I forget they exist. And so I've carried around these two little pieces of plastic for four years, holding out hope that they're going to use their $5 each. I feel like for the amount of like effort, I mean, it's not effort, but you know, things add up in your bag. It's like maybe that it's not worth it. Maybe I should just like get rid of them and just assume the $10 debt, you know?

Shanna

I think you should hold on to them. And then when your kids are ready to move out of your house and on to college, you present them with it and say, treat yourself to a little dorm accessory. And yeah, that's what I think you should do.

Laura

Yeah, it'll probably be worth like one cent at that point, the way inflation's going. That's the other thing is like $5 could have bought a lot more at Ikea in 2021.

Shanna

2022 that it's buying now. 100%. Oh, lesson learned. Use those gift cards right away. Do they still have money on them? Because sometimes I go and check old gift cards and I'm like, they just, I don't know, you don't use them and then they start just subtracting money off of them or something. I don't know.

Laura

These are wrapped in plastic. So I assume they've never been used. They're wrapped in plastic. Yeah, they're wrapped in, you know, because they were in like the chocolate thing. So they're wrapped in like a little plastic sleeve. So I've never even taken them out of the sleeve. And in California, gift cards can never expire. It's like part of the law. So yes, yeah, true. Yeah. So yeah, I mean, I'm sure they're still worth $5. But you know, with inflation, they should be worth more by now. But that's my bad. My bad.

Shanna

Yeah. I mean, take yourself there and get a Billy bookcase replacement shelf and call it a day.

Laura

I'm thinking I'm just going to go and get some meatballs. Ooh, I think that's the best choice. But yeah, okay. That is the first reveal of what's in my bag. Shanna, do you have one for us?

Shanna

I do. Okay. There was a morning this within the last week or so where CECE was having a tricky time in the morning, you know, kind of that like maybe starting to verge on dysregulation. But if I could kind of swoop in and with a light touch and a little distraction, I could maybe save the day and we could still get out the door, you know, and to camp on time. Right. And so my technique that morning was to say, Oh, CECE, do you want a mint or a piece of gum before we leave the house? And my technique worked. She was like, Oh, yeah. And she started thinking about gum and mint, whatever, and kind of got her train of thought off of her frustration or whatever.

So I was like, Oh, okay, here, let me, let's see what we have. So we're at the table and I grabbed my purse, which is like, you know, like a, like a kidney bag that's just way too big and spacious. And it's just like the ocean depths in there. Right. And one by one, I start pulling out this. I'm going to send you a picture.

Laura

Oh, shut up. Okay. So the picture I'm looking at is your dining table with one, two, three, four, five different mint slash gum options available.

Shanna

Six.

Laura

Oh, six. I'm sorry. I didn't. I just, I mean, I, it was so many. I just kind of read it. Three gums and three different types. I mean, and everything's different. There's like three different varieties of gum, flavors of gum, I should say, three different flavors of mints.

Shanna

How do you have this much space in your bag? It's crazy. And Laura, after I took this picture, I realized there was one more container of mints in a side pocket that I had missed. And these are not empty containers. They're all full for the most part or like half full being used. And I have been carrying around without really focusing or knowing about it until this moment, seven different containers of mints, icebreakers, and gum. And that one extra gum, like this green spearmint one, that's one of their giant ones with like 32 pieces of gum in it. It's like a big plastic thing. So I set that out in a row, mostly for myself to look at and maybe change my ways, maybe change my ways to just kind of see it all there. Also for her to like look through and pick a mint or whatever. But yeah, that's, that's what I've been carrying around without realizing it.

Laura

That is so funny. Have you seen those trending videos where someone's like, I needed blank from the store. So I went to go get it. Then I came home and discovered I already had one. And then have you seen those? It's like exactly this. I'll have to find it later and send it to you. But it's so funny. It's like a person who tells this whole story about how they needed something. I can't remember what it was sesame oil or something. They buy it, they get home, and then they discover in their pantry, they already have it. But then they just like keep doing it. And they have like seven sesame oils or something like that. It's just like the thing where it's like when you put something in a cabinet or in your apparently like black hole of a purse, you just it's gone. It's out of sight, out of mind. And you obviously need to buy another one.

Shanna

Yes, I have that problem specifically with bags of breaded frozen chicken from Trader Joe's. That is the one thing I just can. Every time I walk by the frozen aisle, I'm like, I definitely need another one of these. And then I go home and put the groceries away. I'm like, God damn it, we already have four of these. Like, hey, at least it's frozen. You know, this gum and mint thing. It's like, you know, I like gum and mints. I do. But I wouldn't, I don't think I'd have such a collection if it weren't for being a mom. You know, my kids, we go shopping. Oh, can I have this flavor? I'm like, oh, yeah, sure. Or I sometimes I use them as bribes. They like try to steal my gum. I'm like, no, you know what, don't take that gum. I'll buy you some later. And then I buy them some.

So it just it really adds, it really adds up. And I will say it did work very well that morning with helping redirect Cece and get her kind of out the door and having a good transition

Laura

into the day. I think that's great. I think that's a great use of extra mints. I mean, you have some despair, so it's fine. But also, it's also tapping into that thing where it's like, you're changing their sensory experience, you know, like, I don't know what she chose, whether she chose like a really strong flavor. But I feel like I'll do that with Augie. Sometimes I'll offer him an Altoid, just like shock him out of like, whatever's going on. I think it works.

Shanna

Yeah, interesting. I think she chose the blue minty gum. But another one of these that's really good for that is there's the icebreakers. It's called sparklers or something like that. It's like there's almost like a bubbling pop rocks kind of sensation with it. So it's a fruity flavor, but it like bubbles and pops on your tongue. And I find that that one is helpful for those types of moments too. Oh, I'll have to get some of those. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm glad I just justified why I had like a clown car full of gum and mints in my purse. I feel better. Anyway, okay, do you have

Laura

another what's in your bag? I do. Well, okay, I have to admit, I'm expanding the definition of bag right now because I have been a little ruthless with my bag culling lately. Like, I'm not particularly organized in most aspects of my life. But I just had like a breakdown a while back where I was like, I have too many bags and too much crap in the bags and I need to downsize and just like deal with this. Right. So I just like spent a day taking every bag I own, including backpacks,

like cleaning them out and getting rid of anything inside of them. And now my main purse is like really tiny crossbody bag that does not fit a lot of stuff. And that's by design because I'm like, I'm done having a bag that just lugs. I lost it. I was like, this is it. But yeah, makes this segment a little difficult because for once I'm like under control. But to be fair, the reason I can get away with having a little crossbody bag as my main bag is because I kind of have a minivan as a bag. Ah, bag on wheels. It truly is a gigantic bag on wheels. Like, let's be honest. Everything gets thrown in there. And so I'm going to say what's in my minivan bag.

Shanna

Uh, here, I'll send you a picture. Okay. While I pull up the picture, I just want to say that I am fully on board with you expanding the definition of bag. And I also thought at some point it might be fun to just be like, what's in your junk drawer? You know, as a parent, that could be a good one too. Oh yeah. For another day. Okay. Let's see here. Okay. And while you're

Laura

looking at it, you'll notice this isn't necessarily weird, right? You can describe it. But the question is

Shanna

why are these things in my van? Okay. Let's see here. So it looks like a picture from like maybe the back, the trunk, hatch, whatever you call it on vans. I don't know. And in that area, we've got two stuffies. They're very big. One is a Batman stuffy. One is a duck, a bird, a goose. I don't know this character's yellow beak, pink dress. And, uh, they're, they almost look like they're spooning. They're sitting very close to each other, canoodling. And, and that's all I'm seeing. I see a price tag or like a, you know, a brand tag on the Batman. So I think they're new, but they also look like they could have been wanted a carnival or something by throwing balls at stacks of bottles. I'm not sure

Laura

why these are in your van. Well, let me tell you. Please do. So these are truly gigantic stuffies, as you mentioned. I mean, they're about the size of my kids, maybe just a little smaller, but they're huge, right? Uh-huh. And this was a Grandma Susan situation. And she didn't buy these for the kids, I should mention. Oh, okay. She did win them, not at a carnival, but at a claw machine at Chuck E. Cheese. Wow. Go Grandma Susan. Those aren't easy. Well, here's the thing. Grandma, Grandma Susan loves a claw machine, like loves a claw machine.

She will find a claw machine anywhere we go. In fact, at Next Level in Portland, where we had like the unlimited video games, right? Unlimited pinball, limited video games. There was only one section you actually had to pay for a la carte. And that was, of course, the claw machine section, because obvious reasons, you know, you can't just like spend all day taking the stuff out of the claw machine. But that's where she was the whole day. I was like, Mom. No way.

Yeah, yeah. Because she loves a claw machine. And like, it's her hobby. She can do anything she wants with her money. I'm not upset. But she's always winning the stuff for the kids. And the problem is, they truly DGAF about stuffies. Like, they are not stuffy kids. And so, you know, we went to Chuck E. Cheese this week, trying to pack in the fun. And we have a membership to Chuck E. Cheese, courtesy of my mom. So like that whole afternoon, like all the games are paid for, except for the claw machine. And my mom spends all this time at this claw

machine, just like putting dollar after dollar. And I'm like, Mom, what are you doing? And then the problem is, she shows up, and she's like, Hey, guys, look what I won. And they're just like, Okay, they're not excited. And then I feel bad for my mom. But also, I'm like, you know, I can't control what my kids like and don't like. And she knows by now, you know, that they're not stuffy kids. Like if she had found a way to find a claw machine with like a Nerf gun in it, they would have lost their minds, right? But exactly.

But now I have these two stuffies. So we went back to the car, we put them in the backseat, you know, we put them in the trunk. And my mom was, you know, very proud of her win as she should be those things. Yeah. And they've just stayed there. They don't care. You know, like, they're just like, and I feel bad. And I don't want to like, donate them. I like, I don't know what to do. You know what I mean? I'm just like, sorry, Mom, like, I wish I mean, I probably will just donate them to some kid who will actually appreciate them. But of course, one of the things remember, you're like, it's a duck. Apparently, it's like one of the

Shanna

secondary Chuck E. Cheese characters. Oh, man. Oh, man. That is like the B team character. That's a bench warmer character. No wonder I didn't know that. I mean, none of us did. But yeah, but so

Laura

they're just they're just riding around with me everywhere I go now. Because I don't know what

Shanna

to do with them. That is so hilarious. That reminds me of a tick tock or Instagram I saw recently where this woman was acting out as if she were the bag of clothes that you'd like tossed in your car and like, intended to donate at some point, you know, we all do that. And then like, it's just there forever, right? You never actually get around to it. And oh, it's so funny from like that perspective, like lying down, like, Oh, well, I'm going for a drive again. Oh, yeah, I get to see the sides. Oh, that was a hard stop. You know, so that's what I'm picturing these, these two buddies doing in the back your van for a while. Except for one is in a Batman voice. Yeah. I can't do I can't do a Batman voice. Oh, I will try. I will try. Oh, why? Why did I try? Why did I try? Oh,

Laura

it's time for a ride again. God. Okay. It's so funny you mentioned that too, because I had a backup what's in my bag slash car that I was going to use, which was a these giant coloring pages like giant, you know, you know how they make those giant coloring pages, right? Star Wars coloring pages, my mom got them for the kids ages ago. And they just, I don't know why they don't like coloring on those. I think it's because like, it's newspaper print. And it's kind of harder to

color on it. And they're already not super into coloring to begin with. And I was doing a big donation. I was I threw bags and bags of stuff into the back of the car. And then I couldn't take it the day I put the stuff in the car. And the children discovered it. And that was in the like donation pile. And Sebastian was like, what's this? What's this? I was like, Oh, you know, it's coloring pages. But you guys, you never care about it. It's been out for years. And you don't even care about it. And he's like, I can't. I can't. And he like, and he like took it back. So I did eventually get to donate the rest of the stuff. But I was told it was not allowed to donate the giant coloring pages. So you pulled it aside. It's amazing how they just

Shanna

restore interest in things as soon as you're ready to get rid of them. Absolutely. Yeah. Yes. But

Laura

that is it for my what's in my bag slash van. Do you have one more for us? I do. Okay, Laura,

Shanna

um, I'm going to describe to you something I had in my bag. And maybe you can take a guess as to why it was there. Okay, and what I did with it. All right. Why did I have in my bag about 31 individually wrapped pats of butter?

Laura

31, you say? Maybe 32. Okay, I don't know for sure. Individually wrapped pats of butter. Was this recently? Yes. Okay, because I was gonna say like, that's around the amount you would need for like a school event. But maybe it's like a camp event. Um, I'm gonna guess that you went to pick up the girls at camp and you saw the counselors about to throw away a bunch of butter. They're like, well, we can't keep it. We don't have any way to refrigerate it. But they were like, perfectly fine. You're like, you know what, I'll take them. I will take them home because I love an individual pat of butter. And so you got them poured into your purse and went on your merry way. You are very close. And I'm so impressed. Okay.

Shanna

All right. So I went to pick up the girls from camp this week. And yep, check, check. And when I came to pick them up, outside the camp were tables and racks full of stuff that the camp was giving away because this was the last week of camp, they were about to wrap up. And so there are bags, there are craft supplies, there's all kinds of random stuff. And then there's this table of food stuff. And there are these big plastic, like to-go container tubs from Panera full of pats of butter, just like a bunch of them, among lots of other things. And I don't know, I see this kind of stuff and I'm like, oh, hell no. Like, I don't need 32 pats of butter. That is not really my jam. I don't know how long it's been sitting out. Like, I don't know. I just wasn't that interested. I grabbed like a reusable Panera bag. You know, they had a bunch of them because Panera sponsored the lunches. Anyway,

my girls come out of camp. My kids are a totally different story. Elle immediately walks up to the food station, grabs a huge container of butter and hands it to me. She's like, mom, we have to take this butter home. I don't know, honey. She's like, yeah, we really, really need it. And she's like, look what else I got. She opened her backpack and she took out, you know, milk containers that are made of like cardboard paper type, right? Okay. So imagine a milk container made of that, but like nine times bigger, probably holds about five pounds of sprinkles. Jimmy's sprinkles. Like, you know,

Laura

like an industrial carton size sprinkles. Amazing. Oh my gosh. Yeah. So she got that score and I was

Shanna

like, oh wow, that's a lot of sprinkles. She's like, I know I've been eating them all day. I'm like, oh my God. I've been eating them all day. She's like, I shared some with this kid and this kid and this kid. I was just sharing sprinkles with everybody. And I was like, oh, that's okay, good. This is a lesson in, in being kind, I guess. So we'll let it go. So we leave camp that day with 32 pats of butter, five pounds of sprinkles. I don't know. Cece grabbed some craft sticks and whatever. So we get in the car. This is one of the days where it was like 102 degrees outside.

Yeah. So hot. And we have a really long drive across town. We have to go straight to swim class at the YMCA. There's no stopping at home. And as soon as I get in the car and close the door, I look at this tub of butter sitting on my seat. And I was like, oh shit, what a waste, you know, like it's going to, it's going to just get ruined. So I point the AC on it, right. To try to keep it cool. We have it. We might as well try to save it. So we drive like 45 minutes across town in the heat and we get to the YMCA and I'm like, God damn it. I can't leave it in the car. Then it's really going to get ruined. Like no one's going to use it. At this point I'm invested in the butter. And so I put it in my purse, bring it into the YMCA. Cause you know, my purse is big enough for a to-go container. Apparently. Like at what point does a purse turn into a tote bag?

Laura

That's what I want to know. Cause like, obviously you're, you're veering towards that territory.

Shanna

Yes. I've never felt comfortable calling it a tote bag. I think because it's not shaped like a tote bag. It's more of a kidney mass. What feels like a purse and I call it a purse. But let me tell you, it was big enough to hold this to-go container the size of eight stacked laptops. Okay. This, this container is huge. And I wait in the lobby when I, you know, when the kids are swimming and stuff. And I'm like, I don't want to like be toting this butter around while they're in class. So like we go into the locker room and they put their bags in, they get dressed and I shoved the butter into the locker and close the door. There's no lock on it. So 100% someone came by later and was like looking through to see if there was an open locker, you know, as you do, you're like, Oh, that one has stuff. That one has stuff. I'm sure someone came by and opened and

was like, Oh, there's someone's towel and 32 pats of butter. Okay.

So it didn't live in my, my bag long just to and from the, the YMCA did live inside a locker for a little while, but we brought it home and I'm happy to say it saved the day because the other morning I made toast for the kids and I was like, Oh no, we're out of butter you guys. And this had been, this thing had been shoved to the back of the fridge out of sight, out of mind.

And I'm like, Oh, that's too bad. And then I was like, Oh, and I showed him, I was like, look, you guys have saved the day. And I showed him the butter and they were all excited. And we like open each little pad of butter and put it on the toast. Elle took one bite and was like, this butter sucks. And she's like, Oh, I hate this butter. And I looked at it. It's grass fed butter. They don't like grass fed butter apparently. So now my kids are not eating this butter that they made me carry around town on 102 degree day. So they don't like fancy butter is what you're saying. Correct. Correct. I'm like, I'll take it. Well, I'll tote it across town to your house. I'll just wait for another really hot day. Sounds like a great use of our time. Yeah. Anyway, that is my last what's in your bag. Shall we move on to our BFPs and BFNs?

Laura

I think we should. All right. We close every episode with a Big Fat Positive or a big fat negative from the week. And Shanna, you are up first. Do you have a BFP or a BFN? I have a BFP.

Shanna

Yay. Yay. This weekend, we went to a gala. The whole family got dressed up, Laura, and we went to a gala. Ooh la la. Yeah. This was so cute and charming. I loved it so much. The theater group that my girls have been doing these little musical theater productions for all these years celebrated their 15th anniversary.

And to celebrate, they threw a gala. And, you know, we never been to anything like that. So the girls have been looking forward to this all summer. And when they found out that the dress code was semi-formal, you know, it was very exciting. It's like, oh, what are we going to wear? What are we going to wear to this gala? And just the whole thing was so cute. They rented out like an event space ballroom type space at a very nice church out in Woodland Hills. And, you know, set it up with like all the round tables and the tablecloths and the seat decorations. And it was just like, it reminded me

of when I worked in fundraising events. When I very first moved out to Los Angeles, I helped organize events, you know, and we would set up all the things at the places. And it just, I don't know, it was very, very sweet to me that this theater group did it. And they invited, you know, past performers, staff members. They had a whole award ceremony. There were activities and games. And they just had a blast. It was so sweet to see all these theater kids come together and have a great time and get awards. And we ate a dinner and it was just so cute. I loved it.

Laura

That is so cute. And also, I feel like to our kids, semi-formal might as well be black tie, you know, or white tie or whatever the highest level of formal is, because it's not often that they get truly dressed up. I guess Sebastian is kind of the outlier here because he likes a, he likes a collared shirt, you know. Oh, dapper fella. Oh, very dapper. But I love that you got a chance to get all dressed up and have fun and raise money and all that good stuff. I know you love this theater

Shanna

group. I do. This, this particular gala was not a fundraising event. It was just a celebration. Oh, I don't know. I just assumed. Yeah, no, I think because I mentioned, it reminded me of my fundraising events that we used to put on. But no, this was just a celebration. Like we bought tickets for like $10 and you know, but we got to go in and have dinner and, you know, be part of the festivities for a few hours. Well, that is super fun. Yeah. But yeah, that's it. My simple little BFP for the week. What about you? What do you got? I also have a BFP. All right. Comes with a cute

Laura

story. So a couple of weeks ago, Sebastian decided he wanted to write a card for our mail carrier. Aw. As I mentioned, when I was talking about our visit with my Hungarian cousins, he wrote a card for Ambruch, the 16 year old who was visiting. And this is like a pattern for him. He loves writing cards. I don't know where he gets it because I'm terrible at writing cards. I'm like, I'm that person who it haunts me how I've forgotten to like write a thank you card to people, you know, years later. I'm like, Oh my God, I never thanked them for this thing. It's just I'm very bad at it. And I recognize that about myself and I don't like it about myself. So I'm very pleased that he's a card writer, though he doesn't really write yet. You know, he can write his name.

And he, you know, he can draw pretty well these days, you know, representative stuff, but he's not writing full notes or anything, right? Right. But he loves writing a card. And recently, I was trying to organize and I found my container of all my greeting cards. And he was like digging through it. And he was about to steal all my nice ones. And I was like, here, here, here. And I found like a pack that I had gotten on discount at like Michael's a pack of cards. And so he took that and those are now his cards. So he writes cards for everyone. So anyway, it's so cute. And so he's like, I want to write a thank you card for our mail carrier. And I was like, Okay, great. And so he, you know, he wrote his name. And then I just wrote like, thank you on it. I wrote to our mail carrier and I put it outside.

And it sat there for days, like days and days and days. And I was like, I don't think our mail carrier wants this. You know what I mean? Like, I don't think he's noticing. And there's this one guy who comes like Monday through Friday. And then I think there's a woman who comes on the weekend.

And the guy wasn't picking it up. He's always listening to podcasts. Like I noticed because I have my Nest camera, I walk by him. He's like, you know, he's busy. I would be doing exactly the same thing. By the way, if I had that job, I would absolutely be like listening to podcasts. So but he obviously didn't notice. And then we went to Portland. I think it was still there when we went to Portland. Well, I got a message when we're in Portland from our cat sitters saying that there was a little note and box left for us. And they took a picture of it and sent it to us. Here, I'm actually going to send you a picture so you can see what we got.

Shanna

Oh, all right. Let's take a look. Oh, okay. It looks like a package that you received. But there is a note written on it. Okay, so it looks like a mail carrier wrote a message and says, hello, I left two Kinder eggs wrapped in gold gift wrap by your mailbox with a thank you note to your kid for the lovely drawing. He might not be able to eat the chocolate bar, but there is a toy he can build inside the egg. Thank you, Mail Lady Rose. P.S. I'm sorry for writing on your package. Oh, my gosh, that is so heartwarming. I can barely even handle it. Ah, isn't it so cute? And then the

Laura

gold paper says, thank you, your drawing was so pretty. And then said the mailman.

Oh, and we've never talked to this mail carrier before. So I was like, really surprised to get this back. And it was so sweet. And it really gave something for Sebastian to look forward to when he came home, because he's like, there's gonna be a Kinder egg. There's like, we're gonna see our Kinder egg at home. And real like, extra BFP to the mail carrier for intuiting that we had two kids. And that maybe we would have to have an extra Kinder egg. Oh, but yeah, it just, it was my BFP, because obviously, it's like a sweet little interaction. But it's also just such a great lesson to my boys that like, being kind for no reason, you know, is is nice, right? Like, you can and you don't give cards and be kind to people because you expect anything back. But sometimes things come back to you. And it can be really fun and sweet. And yeah, it was just a nice

Shanna

moment. Oh, that is that is really nice. Have you seen this mail carrier in person since? Mail carrier

Laura

Rose? I have not. And I've been wanting to let her know that we really appreciated the Kinder egg. So I think we need to write a card. And like, now that we know her name, we can like say to mail Lady Rose. That's how she identifies. Oh, right. Yes. And see if she gets it. Because I don't know, I'm just never around. And they come so quick, you know, she just drops it off and moves on. So yeah, I got to proactively do that. But knowing my track record with thank you cards, I wouldn't hold

Shanna

my breath about that. I'm so bad. I'm so sorry. Well, just task it to your five year old. I mean,

Laura

he's got the gift for it. Clearly. That is true. I will just make sure I remind him that that's a thing at some point. And then he'll do it. Yeah. All right. But that is it for me. And I think

Shanna

that's it for our episode. Yeah, I think it is. Listeners, remember that if you want to hear our episodes ad free and or get bonus extras, we have a Patreon where you can become a member. So go to patreon.com slash BFP podcast to become a member today if you're not already. And if you already are, thank you so much for your support. If you have any what's in your bag that you want to share with us, you know, we want to hear them. Laura, where can everyone find us?

Laura

We're on all the social medias at BFP podcast. We have a website Big Fat Positive podcast.com you can send us an email at contact at Big Fat Positive podcast.com. Or you can send us a voice memo on speak pipe. Just go to speak pipe.com slash BFP podcast. And finally, if you want to join the coolest group of people on social media, just search Facebook for BFP community. It's a private group, you have to request to join and answer the two membership questions. So we know you're not a robot. But once you do that, you'll be sent straight through to all the amazing, supportive, wonderful conversations we're having in there. Our show is produced by Laura Bieric,

Shanna

Shanna Micko and Steve Yager. Thanks for listening, everyone. Have a Big Fat Positive week. Bye. Bye.

Puberty Talks and Back-to-School Prep – Ep. 428

September 14, 2026

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Episode Transcript

Puberty Talks and Back-to-School Prep – Ep. 428

September 14, 2026

Listen Now:

This episode's sponsors:

Whisker Litter-Robot

Once Upon a Dance

Episode Transcript