Morning Routines Made Easier – Ep. 430

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Laura

Welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. This week, we have our weekly check-ins. We have our special segment, Throwback, where Shanna tells a story about a split-second life-altering decision that was made during band class, and we close with our BFPs and BFNs for the week. Let's get started. Hello, hello, hello, everyone. Welcome to episode 430 of Big Fat Positive. Shanna, do I have you on the line? Hi, I'm here. Oh, good, because I was going to ask you what you've been up to this week. All right, well, that's a question that catches me by surprise. I know. I like to throw curveballs on this podcast.

Shanna

Oh, all right. So last week, I was checking in on the girls' first full week of school and how I was struggling with the morning transitions. And, you know, Cece was having a hard time at drop-off. And I was hoping for that to all magically improve this week. It did not.

It escalated even more and it has been a rough week.

Laura

Well, last week already sounded bad. So making it worse doesn't sound fun for you.

Shanna

What happened? Well, Tuesday was rough. Same thing. I had to drop her in the office, you know, after the bell ring. She was tardy. She wouldn't let go of me. They kind of like pulled her away and I left while she was crying. And that was that was rough, of course. And then a couple of days later, What happened is we had a great morning. Cece got ready on time. She was very energetic and focused and motivated at home. We got out the door and suddenly she realized that she had something sticky on her arm, like from toothpaste or something. She's like, my arm is sticky. I was like, okay, we have some wet wipes in the car, just hop in, let's go, go, go. And she hopped in and I gave her a wet wipe and she's trying to wipe it. It's sticky and she's starting to escalate, right? It's that sensory stuff. It doesn't always bother her, but when it does, it can be very upsetting for her.

And she's like, it's not getting off. And I'm like, here, how about a tissue? It's like trying to wipe it and getting mad and like through the tissue. And then L got in the car and was on fire with just pushing CECE's buttons. And I don't even know exactly what it was, right? Just like singing too loud purposely and getting right up in her space, like leaning across the seat and blowing on her face or whatever that kind of stuff.

Laura

It's real big sister stuff right there.

Shanna

And so that behavior was pushing Cece more and more and more into frustration. And she's just escalating. And I'm so mad in the front seat. I'm like, oh, stop it. Right? Like, I've got the anxiety because I know that what she's doing is going to make things worse for Cece. I'm just seeing the future. And I got upset, too. We got into the car line to drop them off. And I was so mad, I was like, just stop it. And I don't usually even show that much frustration. Like, I'll raise my voice and be firm. And they were like, and we got to where we needed to drop them off. And Cece was like, no, I just can't go. I won't go. She wouldn't open the door. I was like, can I just hop out this side? I was like, fine, go.

sissy let's go park and we'll walk up and we can even park like because she was so upset she was just crying so much and i had to pee really really bad i was on top of everything i know it's like you know what let's just drive around see if you can calm down a little bit we'll drive home i'll go to the bathroom we'll come back We came back, we parked, she wouldn't get out of the car. I mean, it was a huge ordeal. We finally got to the office like, I don't know, 15, 20, 30 minutes after the bell rang, like much, much later than usual. And very similar thing except just even more explosive. resistance and I think there were like four adults trying to take her away from me and I'll just never forget this moment of like her clinging to me.

All these adults trying to gently you know as gently as they could but firm pull her away and she's just like looking at me we make eye contact she's like her mouth is up just like just like crying like I want you. and the officer was there, like the school officer, he's like, it's okay, just go, just go. I was like, okay, you know, I'm trying to keep it together. And so I leave and that image of CeCe is in my mind and I walk out and I just like started sobbing. Like I haven't sobbed yet about any of this, but that one was so hard. I cried all the way home. I called Steve crying. I'm like, I don't know what to do. I don't know what, you know, this is so hard. When I got home, the principal called me and was like, what's going on with CeCe? Like as, you know, this isn't

Laura

I don't normally like her. This is like the third time. And you were like, actually, you guys just haven't seen it? Or what?

Shanna

More or less, yeah. I was like, she's sometimes struggles with emotional dysregulation. She was diagnosed with ADHD in the spring. I haven't disclosed it to the school because it really wasn't impacting her academically. Yet, really, we were kind of waiting to see how this year would go. You know, I don't know. I don't know if we need a 504 or something to help with these transitions. And she just talked to me very empathetically for a while and, you know, suggested that maybe a 504 would be a good idea to help with some of the behavioral stuff and just helping her ease into the drop offs. And so that made me feel better. Like I'm not totally navigating all of this by myself, which I mean myself and Steve, which often it feels like I don't know. I'm just kind of in this confused state.

Laura

Yeah, I mean it's so hard because there's no rationalizing with her at that point, right? Right. She flips over into the state. My dad used to call stuff like that almost like having a seizure. Once you tip into a certain emotional state, there's no getting out of it without getting through it, right? And of course, there's nothing you can do. And I think that it sounds like you did everything you could do, right? And still get her to school, which is what you want. Obviously, the only other option is like not sending her to school, which isn't really an option, right?

Shanna

Yes. Yes. But she thinks it is, you know, she's like, I want to stay with you. And I just like kept saying it's my job. It's a parent's job.

Laura

to bring your the kid to school like I my job is to drop you off so you can learn like I just was so firm on that I'm like don't let her stay home don't yeah because I if you do it once then it's I feel like it's gonna get even worse because she'll be like remember that one day you let me stay you know it's like yes. Oh yeah, I do remember that and I regret it forever. And also I totally get snapping. I mean, I've been there, I think I even talked about it on the podcast like last year or the year before, just like absolutely losing my patience with Augie at some point and just like yelling at him in the car. And then he like, it was so unusual for him to be like, I don't yell like that most of the time. And it like kind of scared both of us, you know? Yeah.

I mean, what else are you supposed to do? You're driving and your one daughter is, you know, on the verge of a meltdown and your other daughter is like continuously pushing her buttons just prodding her trying to make her go further. I don't know. I just don't know what else you do in those situations.

Shanna

I don't know. Yeah, it was so hard. Of course, I felt bad for raising my voice.

Laura

Well, it also really sucks that then they're at school all day and you don't have a chance to repair, you don't have a chance to talk about it until they're done, right? So you probably spent all day ruminating on it. Totally, totally.

Shanna

So speaking of which, what was the end of the school day like? Well, before the school day even ended, I got an email from CECE's teacher, like the teacher that's on paternity leave. Oh, wow. He's so nice. He's communicating with me, even though he's on leave. He's like, I spoke to the sub and I heard that CECE came in really upset and was escorted in by the dean or principal or whatever. and couldn't stop crying, didn't participate in class all morning, but that she turned a corner in the afternoon and she was able to participate. And I was like, okay, that's good. So I did not know what pickup was going to be like, right? Yeah. I went to pick up. Girl is fine. She comes running up. She's like, hi. She's with her friend. They're like being silly. And I'm like, hi. Of course, I'm so glad that she's fine, but it's just that whiplash of experiences from my perspective.

Laura

Yeah, it's like the last time you saw her, it's like a dramatic movie scene where it's like you're holding onto her on a cliff and then she's falling, right? Yes. And then the next time you see her, she's just like, hey. I think you're like, what? You were about to die the last time I saw you, at least my nervous system felt that way. Oh, my gosh.

Shanna

Oh, yeah. Yeah. The burnout I've been feeling has been rough, and I'm working on it. But I also, my brain hops into problem-solving mode. I'm like, we got to do something, right? Something has got to change here. What can I do in the mornings to try to ease this transition? And one of the hardest things is that car ride to school. If the girls are not just in perfect harmony, it can go sideways. The perfect exit out of the house can really go sideways. If they're pushing each other's buttons, they're mad about song choice and all that. And so I said to Steve, Would it be the weirdest idea if we just drop our kids off separately to school? Like you drive one, I drive the other and we swap every day. He's like, I think that might be a good idea. Let's try it. So the rest of the week, Laura, I get in one car, a kid gets in one car, Steve gets in the other, a kid gets in that.

We drive almost side by side all the way to school. We're in the line, one behind each other, most of the time. dropping our kids off separately. It feels bananas. Like I'm seeing the school security aides and stuff looking at us like, what is going on? But let me tell you, it has been an excellent solution. They're the piece in the car on the way to school is magnificent. And they like it because they get a little bit of one-on-one time. They can pick their own songs. And it's an odd solution, but it has been helping.

Laura

That is a very smart solution, actually. I'm pretty impressed with that. And you got to do what you got to do. If you are both available to take them to school, like, why not? You know, also, it sounds like you live pretty close to your school, so it's not exactly out of Steve's way on the way to work or anything.

Shanna

Right, yeah. School's about five minutes and it's more or less on his way to work. So he drops the kid and heads off to work. Oh my gosh. That's our life now. And I was like, look, we are leaving earlier than usual. Yes. Like they start school later this year and we thought that we could also leave later because of that. But it's more congested at school. The car line is longer. There's more anxiety about getting there and getting through the the chaos and traffic and hubbub. So it's like, you know what? Nope, we are back to what we used to do. We're leaving the house at 7.30, even though school doesn't start until like 8.15, 8.20, and we're gonna beat the rush basically. So that's taken a bit of the edge off as well.

Laura

Oh, totally. I've noticed a very clear correlation between everyone's mood when we leave like five minutes early versus five minutes late. You think those ten minutes wouldn't really matter because they're still not quote-unquote late to school. Like when we leave at 7.35, they're not late to school, but we're rushing, right? And like you said, every minute the The line gets longer. The congestion gets worse. The parking gets worse. It's like, we have to leave early if we all want to just be chilled. Like when we're all relaxed and when I'm relaxed, it makes such a difference. Yeah.

Shanna

Mm-hmm. Yeah, so those are our strategies for now in terms of working with CeCe on her regulation. We'll be checking into a 504. And of course, I'll be working with her doctor about maybe starting a medication for ADHD. But that's kind of coming up. These were the immediate solutions. And so far, so good. We'll see about next week. All right. Well, Keep us posted. I will. What about you? I hope you had some calmer mornings this week. What's your check in for us?

Laura

Well, I'm actually going to check in about a thing that Corey and I did without the kids on Saturday. What? Yeah. We spent all day away from the kids on Saturday because we went to the Daisy Chain Fields Festival in Irvine. I'm not sure if you heard about this, but it was Olivia Rodrigo's, basically Lilith Fair, 2.0, like Lilith Fair for the new generation. Oh, fun. And tickets were limited, obviously. There was a one-day festival, and Olivia Rodrigo obviously is a huge act. And then on top of Olivia Rodrigo, there were just so many amazing performers. There was Chapel Roan. There was Dochi. There was Bikini Kill, The Breeders, Garbage, Mitski. I'm forgetting some people. But it was an amazing lineup of all female artists and all of them were donating their time and all the proceeds were being donated to charities that benefit women, children and babies, which is like so cool.

Shanna

I love that.

Laura

I know. It was like perfect, right? And these tickets were like a hot item, right? Like I said, my entire Facebook feed for like two weeks leading up to this festival were people looking for tickets, you know? Because I remember when the tickets went on sale, I mean, there were so many people who didn't even get through the waiting room and all this stuff. And yet somehow, 44-year-old Laura Birek got through the waiting room and managed to get four passes to Daisy Chain Fields on the original presale. So I was in position of the hottest tickets in town. And I wasn't going to give those up. No kidding. And for a second, I thought that I might not be able to go because my mom was supposed to come into town on Friday. And on Thursday, she called and was like, bad news. Neil is sick. He's OK, but I don't think we should travel. And I was like, I get it. Like, totally get it.

You got to take care of him. He's 94. I'm not upset, right? But now I had to figure out what to do about the concert because Corey and I were both planning on going. And thankfully, my mom was like, I'm so sorry. I will pay for babysitters if you need to get them. Just let me know. Aw, that's nice. And I was like, that's super sweet. And I was like, say less. texted all of Augie and Sebastian's former preschool teachers and was like, hey, are you available all day on Saturday to babysit? Wow. What hours were you looking for coverage? So we figured it would be overkill to get there right when the festival started and stay all the way to midnight or whatever. The festival was supposed to be from, I think, 10 AM to 10 PM. But we decided, oh, let's get there around 1 1 30. just to pace ourselves. Also, it was hot as hell out there. Oh, yeah. That was a hot weekend.

It was like a historic heat wave, you know? It was like, of course. So I was asking for like noon to midday. Which is a long time. Yeah, that's a big gig. And I was like, I know this is a big ask. And thankfully what ended up happening is one of the teachers wasn't available till 5 p.m. But she asked another teacher if they would be able to do the first chunk. And like one of the teachers that we knew and they were available. So we had this whole preschool teacher shuffle. Oh, brilliant. Which is kind of great, actually. Yeah, so with childcare secured, we went to the festival, and it was super fun. I mean, I don't want to get into the details of the festival. If people want to know, maybe we can do a Patreon chat about it or something. Yeah. But it was really nice to go. listened to music with Corey and then my friend Kate and her sister-in-law came with us.

She bought my additional two tickets for me and so we were hanging out with them most of the time too and that was really, really fun. It was just like so nice to just hang out and like not have to think about anyone else except for us and just enjoy the music and just yeah, have a great time.

Shanna

That's so fun. Who was your favorite act? I would love to see Dochi. I just feel like she's got to be a dynamic performer.

Laura

I was going to say it was Dochi, which I think is not something that people might expect from me. I don't know. She has some risque lyrics. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And I mean, I love so many people on the lineup. Like, I love Mitski. She's amazing. I love Chapel Roan. I really like Olivia Rodrigo, actually. Like, I've been listening to her new album a lot, and I really like it. But Dochi hands down, like, put on the most amazing performance. She came out, painted head to toe in, like, bright pink. I love her. Oh, that's so cool. If you get a chance to look up her set from Daisy Chainfields somewhere on the internet, I'm sure there's a million videos. It was unbelievable. She is so incredibly talented. It just blows my mind. I love her.

Shanna

I love her videos. We listen to a handful of her songs, the ones that aren't like too risqué, me and my girls. And, you know, there's videos on Spotify now. So I play them while we drive. And I like look down. I'm just like, she just I feel like she has just got got it all. She can sing, she can rap, she can dance the way she can move and like almost like act. I don't know. So I'm not surprised that you loved her and I'm so jealous. But I'm really happy for you that you got to see that. Thank you.

Laura

Yeah, we were a ways back. I was pretty much watching the big monitor. But I could kind of see her. I brought my binoculars. I could see her. There were 45,000 people there, so, you know. It's a lot. It's a lot. But it was a really good vibe. Everyone was very chill. It was really, really nice. Love that. And also, they definitely nodded to the Gen X and elder millennial crowd there because Olivia Rodrigo brought out Sarah McLaughlin and Elizabeth Morissette. Yes. And Stevie Nicks. They closed the night with her and Stevie Nicks singing landslide together. And I was crying, Shanna. 100% cry.

Shanna

Oh, I got chills just even thinking of it. That sounds amazing.

Laura

Yeah. So 100% worth the heat and the babysitter scramble. And I'm just so glad we were able to do that. Yeah, I'm glad it worked out. Yay. Me too. So yeah, that was my highlight of the week. I think we should move on to our special segment. Alrighty.

We are back and our special segment this week is throwback. As you may remember, I told my throwback story about when I dyed my hair with supposedly temporary hair dye, but it didn't wash out in time for school. I told that last week, but it's Shanna's turn to tell us a throwback story this week. So Shanna, take us away.

Shanna

Well, I wanted to stay on the school theme, so that's what I'm gonna do. And I was reminded of this story because the other night, we were all sitting around the table eating dinner, and we were talking about the girl's friends, and, oh, I really like this friend, and yeah, I love this friend, and Elle commented on one of her friendships. She said, this girl and I, we have never had a fight. And I was like, that's great. And Cece was like, oh, me and my best friend, we've only had one fight, but we made up. And it was really quick. I was like, that's great. And I always use that opportunity to remind them, when you do have conflict with friends, it's really great to try to reconnect and apologize if you need to or hear the other person out. Just kind of emphasizing that conflict is something that can be worked through.

And if you're successful at that and you have solid friendships, they will persist. And it reminded me of a story from when I was in fifth grade and I had a friendship kerfuffle. And this story doesn't paint me in a good light. So I stopped myself from sharing it with the kids. But of course, I'll share it with you and our listeners. We listen and we don't judge, Shanna. Well, it's okay if you do what you know. Just don't tell me about it. And I felt like this was particularly relevant because L is also in fifth grade, right? And she's going through a period of like identity exploration. And I think I was doing that too around this time. And, you know, I was really doing it in terms of Who am I connecting with now? What friend groups do I want to be in? Stuff like that. So this is fifth grade, way back in 1990 or so in Phoenix, Arizona, where I grew up.

And you know, Laura, I grew up as very much like a A plus student. I wanted to do the best, be the best. I was always the first to raise my hand in class and like know the answers. And, you know, my friend group in the early years of elementary school was very similar, like a lot of kind of goody two shoes. And as I grew older, I didn't know if that's really, I don't know. I didn't know if that was me or not and whatever. So in fifth grade, I felt like maybe I wanted to seek out some edgier friends. I don't know, edgy is such a weird thing to call fifth grade girls in the 90s.

You know what I mean? But my current friends were very sweet kids. One in particular, this girl Heather. She was so nice. She was from a big conservative family, very studious. And then I was starting to develop friendships with these new girls. Samantha, Tiffany, Brooke. They just... or I don't know, edgy, right? They just had a little more attitude. They were more into pop culture, a little less parental involvement. So it just felt, I don't know, looser around the edges with these friends. There was also the group of kids who listened to the cure and wore black eyeliner and wrote life sucks on their notebook and stuff. And I was like, whoa, that's too much for me. I knew that for sure.

Laura

You never had a goth phase, Shanna?

Shanna

I never. I never did. I never did, did you?

Laura

You know, I never had a goth phase, but I kind of feel like it was a missed opportunity because I'm so naturally pale that it wouldn't work out really well.

Shanna

I know, same. I really should have looked into it. There's still time. Yes, true. It's not too late. So what I'm saying is like I was interested in dabbling outside my good girl persona, but like I'm not ready to abandon it completely. I'm still kind of in these two worlds and I'm drawn to the kids who like just push my comfort zone just enough. That's like the time in my life when I started requesting like that my mom perm my hair and I started using tons of hairspray to like lock in these hairstyles that you know defy gravity and I started listening to like current boy bands instead of like the ones my mom listened to like the monkeys you know it's like I moved into new kids on the block like just you know exploring the new Shanna.

Laura

Wait, wait, were you a Jordan, a Joey, or I don't remember the other guys. Those were the two most important for me.

Shanna

Yeah, those were my favorite, too. I definitely think Jordan was like the hottest and Joey was the cutest. So I liked them for different reasons. I had posters all over. It was like my room at that time was like half posters of new kids on the block and half posters of Garfield the cat. I was in limbo.

Totally. All right, so me and my older friends like Heather and my newer friends like Samantha, we were all in the school band together and most of us played the flute. So the flute section is really where my worlds collided because we were all together in like the same Petri dish, right? And at the time, I think I was also just trying to come to grips with this side of me that was impulsive and intention seeking. And I kind of like tried to push that down so much to be a good kid. But I really like, I liked trying to be funny and, you know, make my friends laugh. And I was figuring out my own sense of humor and all of this stuff, which I think is what led to this one particular moment. So we're all in class one day. It's before band starts. There's a lot of hubbub.

If you're in band, you know that at the beginning of class, it's kind of like people are putting other instruments, warming up, just kind of like hubbub around. Nothing structured has started yet. So the teachers over there are talking to another student. And Samantha and Tiffany and I, the new friends, we're sitting in the second row of the flute section. And my old friend Heather is sitting in the first row.

Laura

because she was a better flautist than you is what you're saying.

Shanna

Well, you know, that might be true. That might be true. But I definitely remember doing a lot of bragging at that time that I was an amazing flute player. But I don't know who knows for sure. I'm sure you were amazing. I'm sure you were.

Yes.

Shanna

So she's in the row in front of us. And so Heather stands up in front of us and is adjusting her music stand. And as she's standing there, my new friend Samantha said to me, pull her chair away. And I was like, what? And Samantha like indicated like what I should do, like pull, like pull the chair. You know and tiffany shimed in and agreed you know they're like they're smiling and you know yeah yeah do it and they're urging me to do this i'm like why and they're like it'll be funny it'll just be a funny prank just do it just do it. And i felt under pressure you know i that there is that little impulsive part of me like i wanted the attention i wanted their.

Approval or whatever I just wasn't thinking straight and a prank sounded innocent you know in my mind it's like in that brief second is like I'm imagining you know a funny prank like I pull the chair and she like starts to sit down but then realizes it's not there and then like stands back up and then we'll turn around and be like oh you silly Shanna and like maybe we're all in on the joke or something I don't know what I was thinking. but I went for it. So as Heather goes to sit down, I hook my feet around the back legs of her chair and just go and completely yank it backwards, like so far backwards. And not a single thing I anticipated that happened. She didn't stand back up and look at me like, oh, you silly Shanna. No, no, no. She didn't turn around. She didn't see that the chair was not there, nothing. She sat down with full force, expecting a

platform to be there for her butt to catch her. And with that full force, she completely fell on her butt on the floor. It's like almost in slow motion, just like, and I just remember being frozen like that's not That's what was gonna happen. That doesn't seem good. And she's got her flute in her hand and everyone around started laughing, right? Of course, Samantha's laughing, Tiffany's laughing. And I was like, oh no. And so I'm just sitting there cringing and my old friend It turns around and looks at me like the most red, embarrassed face. And it's just looking at me like, how could you? And oh my god, I felt so bad. I was like, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. But you know that, that's such a stupid lie, right? I didn't mean to. You know, like, of course I meant to, but I felt bad and didn't know what to say.

And I tried to help her up and she just like, you know, shirked away from me and moved her chair back and she was crying and like completely humiliated. So humiliated. And I did not know how to reconnect after that. I don't even think I knew how to apologize correctly. I didn't know how to really even ever talk to her again because I felt so horrible. I think she felt so embarrassed. And that was just like the end of our friendship. Like I never got invited to her parties again. We never had play dates again. She kind of just ignored me at school. She was never mean. We never had any kind of rivalry or anything. It's almost as if I just stopped existing to her. And I was really, really ashamed about that.

Laura

Yeah, I get that. I mean, obviously, in retrospect, you know that that was not the right choice. And also, I'm still kind of pissed at these other friends for egging you on. I feel like it's such a mean girl thing to make someone else do the wrong move, right? Mm-hmm. You know, they knew that they could get away scot-free. And meanwhile, you've lost a friendship over it, right? It's like, you know, that pisses me off too.

Shanna

Oh, definitely. And, you know, as I, you know, lost that older friendship, I started hanging out with these new kids more and starting to see that pattern. of their behavior more, that mean stuff, right? I can think of several instances after that where they were kind of trying to corner me into uncomfortable or awkward situations or, you know, try to course me to do things, which I always, you know, I was usually just like, no, I don't think so. And then it just like got to the point where they were mean directly to me, like, you know, prank calling my house. And I was like, gosh, that is definitely not the kind of friend I want, either.

Laura

Yeah.

Shanna

So all of this kind of lasted through fifth grade through sixth grade. And that's when I ended elementary school. And when I started middle schools, almost like, I just need to start fresh. I don't, you know, I don't have those friends, these friends I don't want. So let's start fresh and. and see where we can go from here. Did you ever get to talk to Heather and tell her you were sorry? Not that I remember. I might have, but I really don't have a specific memory of that. I wish that I would have. I wish I would have never done that, of course, but I wish I could have genuinely apologized and tried to make it up to her and preserve our friendship because she was Good person. So I made a mistake. Well, it may not be too late. Have you looked her up on Facebook? I haven't. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe I'll challenge myself to do that at some point.

Laura

Honestly, I bet she would appreciate that. I remember shit from like fifth and sixth grade and how much it hurt me, you know what I mean? And I think that as an adult with adult coping mechanisms and all the life behind us, like I would just feel grateful if someone reached out and was like, hey, I said that really shitty thing to you when I was a kid and I never got to apologize for it. And so here's my opportunity. I'd be like, cool. You know, I'd be like water under the bridge, man. I don't know.

Shanna

Yeah. Yeah. All right, all right. I will think about that because I think that could be nice. Yeah, she was a very good person. just bringing it back to now and parenting and how that kind of thing is on my mind as I watch Elle go into fifth grade, move towards middle school and experimenting with identity and interests and trying out style and fashion and hobbies and friendships. I want to impart on her that no matter what she tries out, just don't try out meanness. Don't try out that. accidentally are mean or not accidentally, you just make a bad choice or whatever. You can genuinely apologize and try to repair and save a friendship that might be worth saving. Yeah, for sure.

Laura

It's so hard. You know, you were a kid. Yeah. Thinking back to it too, it's like, you were L's age. I know, yeah. And you look at her now and you're like, oh yeah, she. She's a kid. She is going to make bad decisions and maybe not have the best judgment in the moment and, you know, like you would give her grace. So yeah. Yeah, definitely. But that is a good lesson.

Shanna

Yeah. But yeah, that's my story. I'm sorry. It's different than my usual stories. And I hope you guys don't mind that I was kind of the bad guy in this one. But, you know, I feel like I learned a lesson from it in my own way. And hopefully that'll help. inform how I shape my kids now.

Laura

I would say maybe you did something wrong when you were a kid but I don't know if you're the bad guy and you're taking accountability and that's all that matters and I was serious when I said we listen and we don't judge.

Shanna

Aw, thanks friend. Alright shall we move on to our BFPs and BFNs? I think we should.

We wrap up every episode with our Big Fat positives or Big Fat negatives of the week. Laura, you're up first. What you got for us? I have a BFP.

Laura

All right. OK. My BFP is helping us solve the problem that you mentioned in your check-in, which is the constant bickering of children in the car about what music to listen to. Mm-hmm. You've solved this. I am dying to know. I have not solved it. This is contributing it to it being better. I cannot claim to have solved it. But it has been helping us because I swear, every time we go anywhere, every three minutes, there's an argument. Well, listen to this. It's like, I usually say, we'll alternate. You listen to this first. And you pick one first, Augie. And then Sebastian will pick one out. But it's still griping or whatever about it. It's infuriating. So one day, I actually think it was the last time we came to your house for a hangout. We were driving back and there was a little bit of traffic. And the boys were like, oh, listen to this.

And Augie was like, I don't want to listen to anything. And the specialist was like, I want to listen to Ghostbusters. And we're like, ugh. We just don't want to listen to the Ghostbusters again. And I remembered that there was this podcast that a lot of my mom friends had recommended over the years that I just hadn't had a chance to listen to called Greaking Out. Ooh. And I was like, oh, do you guys want to listen to a podcast? And they're like, no. And I was like. I was like, let's give it a try. Augie's like, no, I don't want to listen to anything. I was like, Augie, it's about ancient Greek mythology. It's about all the Percy Jackson stuff. You'll like it. And up until the moment I put it on, he was like, oh, listen to anything. Don't put it on. But I still was like, Corey, pull up the first episode of Greaking Out. I need to do something here.

Well, Augie changed his tune about 30 seconds into the podcast. He freaking loved it. And so did Sebastian. And when it was over, the first episode, I think, was about 15 minutes long. He was like, play another one, play another one, play another one. And so we have been listening to a ton of greeking out. There's actually 11 seasons. Mm-hmm, and we've gotten through like two so far because you know they can only listen for a certain amount of time It's a lot of information, but it's just so good It's put up by National Geographic and the way they format it is just really good like I'm really enjoying listening to it like I'm learning a lot of stuff I didn't know about Greek mythology because I don't know my knowledge of it isn't super Great like I know the the I know the broad strokes, okay? Oh, but it gets really into detail about all the different myths.

And then you have the narrator whose guy named Kenny Curtis. And then there's a character they call the Oracle of Wi-Fi, which is like kind of like a Siri or an Alexa voice that chimes in every once in a while to like define something. And there's been multiple times where we'll be listening and they'll be saying something about something. And my kids will be like, what's that? I don't understand that word. And then the Oracle of Wi-Fi comes in and is like, you know, A Pantheon is a whatever, you know. So yeah, it's really cute, but they're like kind of snarky. It's very, very cute and very entertaining, like legitimately entertaining for the whole family. So I highly recommend it. Awesome. And a bonus is that the theme song is done by Perry Grip, so.

Shanna

Well, I know my kids will love that. So perfect. It's not like an annoying one, hopefully.

Laura

It's not actually. I was surprised when in the credits, they were like, our theme song is by Perry Grip. And I was like, what? Because it's actually a good one.

Shanna

Oh, good. No shade to Perry Grip, I guess. No, no shade to Perry Grip. You know, I do love a little rain and tacos every now and again. So. It's just 500 times. I think my girls would like that. I need to try it out. You should. Especially Elle. She just got this really cool book from the library talking about some of the Greek mythology. And we saw Minions and Monsters, which is kind of, I think, like Universal's cartoon take on the Odyssey, which also just came out. And it was really good. And so some of those ideas and creatures and stories, I think, might captivate them, too. Yeah.

Laura

Give it a try and let me know. And then the kids can all, like, hang out together and listen to creaking out while we do something else.

Shanna

Yeah, I like that idea.

Laura

Well, anyway, that is my BFP. Shanna, do you have a BFP or a BFN for us?

Shanna

I have a BFP. Yay. So, you know, with all of the challenging mornings, getting ready and getting out of the house on time and homework and all of the stuff that comes with school again, I was reminded that if I'm in the right mind frame, I can make things a lot easier for everybody by making things playful. And making things more like a game for the kids. And so I've been doing that lately to help with them getting dressed and, you know, do homework. And it's been pretty successful so far. A game I just randomly made up the other day because they just were dragging their feet, getting their outfits on. It's like, come on people. I have this funny little car thing. It's called Pigeon in a Peanut. It's just like a little novelty toy that Steve got for me. I love it. It's really cute. You pull the peanut back and then, you know, the car, peanut car goes. Ah, yes. Okay.

So I was like, OK, girls, come here. Here's what we're doing. And I put two options, like one pair of underwear here on the floor and one pair of underwear here on the floor. And we took a few steps back and pulled the pigeon back and let it go. And whichever underwear the pigeon went to is the underwear CECE would put on. They were so into this idea. This is genius. Oh my god. Thank you. This is what, you know, difficulty pushes us to do, right? Be creative. So then it's like, okay, which pair of shorts are you gonna wear? And they loved putting their stuff in the two areas, pulling this pigeon in a peanut bag, watching where it would go and making a game out of it. It took a lot of the tension away of like, come on, get dressed. Let's go. Let's go get dressed. Like that doesn't work. either, and that's what I usually resort to. So yeah, that was a successful one.

And a few I've mentioned on the show before, like playing Wheel of Names in the morning or homework to see what's, you know, the next task or putting stuff on post-it notes, you know, shirts, pants, underwear and put it in a jar and they pull out and see what's next, beat the songs. Like, all right, guys, I'm gonna play a really silly song. Let's see if you can get dressed by the time it's over. And then I play some, you know, I don't know. cats meowing at the moon or just weird stuff and they think it's hilarious. And like I said, it just breaks that tension. And yeah, so that's my little BFP win for the week.

Laura

No, that's great. I need that. Every morning when I'm like prompting the kids over and over and over and over and over and over and over to just get dressed, like I hear this voice in the back of my head that's like, they're old enough. They should be doing this all by themselves. And it gets to me because all those like shoulds, right? They should be just like walking to their dresser and picking out their clothes and happily putting them on. But they don't. My kids don't. And I don't think it's a failure of my parenting. I think it's just a way the way their brains work and they need extra support, but anything to make it more fun than just nagging.

Shanna

Yeah, yeah, nagging gets me upset, gets them upset, then. You know the sassy back and yeah so that's my piece of advice if you have it in you if you're feeling a moment of calm just look around see what you've got and just make a little game out of it and see if they'll go along with it. I definitely have some pullback cars so we will try that. Okay, yeah, try it. Let me know how it goes. We will. Okay. But yeah, that's it for my BFP, and I believe that's it for our show. Thank you, Wright. Listeners, thank you all so much for supporting our show. If you haven't had a chance yet, please leave us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts. We might read your review on an upcoming episode. And if you would like to become a Patreon member, you can hear our episodes add free and get early access to bonus episodes, bonus exclusive content and more. So head on over to patreon.com slash BFP podcast.

And finally, if you have any thoughts, comments, feedback, or ideas for us, please let us know. We love hearing from you. Laura, where can everyone find us?

Laura

You can always send us a voice message at speakpipe.com slash bfppodcast. You can find us on social media at bfppodcast. You can find us on our website, thinkthatpositivepodcast.com, or send us an email at contact at thinkthatpositivepodcast.com. And finally, if you want to join a very cool group of people on the internet, just search Facebook for BFP Community. It's a private group, so you have to request to join and answer the two membership questions. So we know you're not a robot, but once you do that, you'll be sent straight through to all the wonderful, hilarious, and supportive conversations we're having in there.

Shanna

Our show is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thanks for listening, everyone. Have a big, fat, positive week. Bye. Bye.

Morning Routines Made Easier – Ep. 430

September 28, 2026

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Episode Transcript

Morning Routines Made Easier – Ep. 430

September 28, 2026

Listen Now:

This episode's sponsors:

Whisker Litter-Robot

Once Upon a Dance

Episode Transcript