Ep. 16: Baby Kicks or Bag of Snakes?

Shanna
Hi. Welcome to Big Fat Positive. On this week’s episode, we have our weekly check ins. We have our special segment called “OMG, I’m freaking out” and we dive into our BFPs and BFNs for the week. Let’s get started.

Hey everyone. Welcome to the podcast.

Laura
Hello.

Shanna
Hi. Why don’t we get started with our weekly check ins? Laura, where are you at this week?

Laura
I am at week 23. And yeah, things are chugging along. So I recorded last week about my very disappointing doula meeting. And I’m happy to report that I had a much better meeting with someone who was much cooler and a lot less dismissive of my doctor. Which,

Shanna
That’s a step in the right direction.

Laura
Yeah, you know, to not be badmouthing my doctor at our first meeting. She really knocked it out of the park.

She was very nice. She came to our house and we had a good talk. My problem is that I’m still just on the fence about hiring one. I’m like asking everyone I know who’s had a baby. And it’s so interesting. People are either like, it’s the best money you’ve ever spent, or people are like, you don’t need one. That’s what Corey’s for the nurses and the nurse that that’s the real thing for me is the nurses. But what’s interesting, I was at a friend’s birthday party this weekend and with two people who had just recently had babies. And I asked, oh, did you have doulas, and they both had it. And they’re like, you don’t need one. Here’s what you need to do, and gave me all this advice. But then it turns out both of them ended up having c-sections. So it was like, Well, one of the main reasons you get to do let’s try to lower that percentage that lower that chance, or at least that’s my ideas that the what are the compelling reasons to get one is that it does there are studies that show that it lowers the rates of C section now. Mm hmm. I’m starting to question those studies though. Because I’m wondering if people who get doulas are less likely to have C sections in general. You know what I mean? Like, are they

Shanna
just because they have more just because they’re more determined to have

Laura
Yeah, maybe like it’s a self selecting group of people writing will push harder or wait longer, you know, that sort of thing, right? I was just a thought. But it

Shanna
Is is it rude for me to ask how much a doula costs?

Laura
Well, I think the cost varies greatly. But in Los Angeles, they seem to be starting around 1500 dollars. Oh,

Shanna
No.

Laura
The way the one who was like this that that doula that I just hated last week, she charged 20, $600.

Shanna
What, in the what? Yeah, I mean, I don’t know how long she’s there anything. And it’s probably totally worth it for people. But I’m like, is that shit covered by insurance, you know, body

Laura
It is not covered by insurance. So that’s a big consideration, too. So we’ll see. I don’t know, I’m still on the fence about that. But there’s, there’s that which made me feel better, because I don’t want to say terrible things about the whole profession of dueling. But so it’s nice to have had a good experience with one whether or not we hire one. And that definitely just left a better taste in my mouth. Good. And then the other exciting thing is that the babies kick it a lot. So

You know, we talked about how you and I both are blessed with interior placentas

Shanna
Blessed. Yes. Yes.

Laura
And that which we might be saying, and the third trimester, because apparently it really does soften the blows of the baby’s kicks and punches. But it means that it was taking a little longer for me to really feel the kicks and the movement. And just all of a sudden, it really clicked I think, I really kind of realized what was happening. And I was like, oh, yeah, that’s not just a muscle Twitch. That’s not just gas, you know, that. That’s a big and Corey gotcha, feel his first kick. How, what was that, like, so anti climactic.

Shanna
I wanted this story about this big moment in tears.

Laura
And oh, my God, you know us, right?

Shanna
I was like, yeah, this kind of does make more sense.

Laura
For those listeners who have not met my husband, he’s a very lovely man. And he’s a great match for me. But he is not like, he’s not a big a motor. That’s not really even a word. But he is not a person who just expresses all of his emotions very lot, you know, in a very demonstrative way. But also, it wasn’t really a good setup. So I was lying in bed, we were about to fall asleep. He was reading a book, I’m like, sitting there feeling. And I was like, Oh, you know what? I bet if you put your hand here, you’ll be able to feel the baby and he puts his hand there. And a couple minutes later, he’s like, is like bump and he kicked and Corey if I was like, oh, did you feel like he’s like, yeah, cool,

Shanna
Man. That’s your son.

Laura
Or, you know, it’s, it’s fine. I really wasn’t like, not excited by it. But it was just, it wasn’t like a cinematic moment.

Shanna
I hear you. I can’t even get Steve to put his hand on my belly. Half the time anyway. I think you think like, it puts him in like, some weird position on the couch. That’s like, kind of twisted and uncomfortable. He sits there for a minute. It’s like felt anything. So I’m just going to like, turn back. So yeah, I get it.

Laura
Also, I’m super weirded out by the baby movements. Did you have that feeling? Like, was it weird to you? At first? Sometimes? Yeah, I thought, you know, everyone’s always like, Oh, it’s the most special feeling in the world. And I wasn’t sure if felt like, it doesn’t feel good. I think that maybe I just need to get used to it a little bit. And a friend of mine who is has recently had a baby, she told me that she had it described to her in a way that was very accurate. And she just pass this along to me. And so I’m going to pass it along to you. She said the analogy her friend had given her was that it felt like a bag of snakes.

Shanna
Like how many kids does she have it in there?

Laura
But I was like, that actually works like, you know it, cuz there’s something it’s not just like, very discreet movements. It’s like all these like royal things, right? Mm hmm. I don’t know.

Shanna
So that times, I mean, there’s different types of movements. Like some feel like an elbow is just like, just scraping along your bladder. Some feel like a just a hard, fast jab.

Laura
Mm hmm.

Shanna
Yeah, I don’t know. I don’t know if I feel that description. 100%. But maybe it’s because I have that interior placenta? I don’t know.

Laura
Well, but I also the interior, but I’ve never done this before you have, so. Mm hmm. But anyway. So that’s. That’s my week deal. doulas. First kicks and bag of snakes. What you been up to this week.

Shanna
So I’m week 27 now. And I think you may recall that I told you. I did my gestational diabetes test.

Laura
Oh, yeah. Your test.

Shanna
I failed. The doctor called on Monday and said that I failed. And so what that means is now I had to take the three hour glucose challenge test, which is a more intense version.

Laura
So what does that entail?

Shanna
Let me tell you what it entailed. Only just like one of the worst day is of my last six months. Oh, it’s sucks. You have to fast. At least my doctor told me. No food after midnight. No water. sips sips of water. If you’re really thirsty. I sat in two hours worth of Los Angeles traffic to get to my doctor’s office on an empty stomach with no coffee or caffeine. I got to the office and they draw your blood when you first get there. And then you drink this drink called gluco crush.

Laura
Gluco Crush.

Shanna
Which is kind of like the drink I described last time. It tastes like otter pop juice. But it’s twice as much sugar. Holy shit. 100 grams of sugar.

Laura
What’s Did you look up? Like? How many teaspoons that is? That’s

Shanna
Yeah, it’s 24 teaspoons. And equal to five Snickers bar.

Laura
Oh my god. Do you have to drink that?

Shanna
within five minutes? So I had to basically slam five Snickers on an empty stomach.

Laura
Oh my god

Shanna
In the blood lab. Great. I’m lucky. Luckily, they have like this big recliner chair that I was allowed to hang out on. And you wait for three hours. And every hour, they draw your blood again. And I guess they just test like your glucose levels.

Laura
They want to see it going down fast enough, right? Yes.

Shanna
Yes. And there was no Wi Fi.

Laura
Oh, that is the worst part. No.

Shanna
I mean, I did have my phone, my LTE. So I like I don’t even know what I did listen to music. I slept for a while because you crash and you feel so tired. Hi bad. Yeah. And I was just like getting a headache. And they alternate arms drawing blood. And my right arm is really bad at giving blood. Like the veins are like, I don’t know, deep or small. And like she had a jab me a couple times Miss. And then she’s like, I’m sorry. I’ve got to go back to the other arm. So my left arm got drawn like three times. Oh my god. Anyway, by the time I got out of there, like was my last 15 minutes. I was online finding a cafe. Like, where can I go and get a sandwich. I pre ordered a sandwich because so hungry. And I went and got my sandwich. And as I was eating, I almost passed out. I was like shaking. I got cold. Hot sweats, cold sweats, whatever you call them. I would like called Steve was like, Oh my God. I think I’m gonna pass out. Oh, no. And I had to wait a while before I could drive home. And the sandwich was amazing, though.

Laura
Tell me more about the sandwich. What kind of sandwich was it?

Shanna
I got an egg salad sandwich on this like white country bread and this really cute cafe called Clementine with. Oh, I’m the Clementine. Clementine is very cute. It’s so cute. It was delicious. And I got an iced tea. So I got some caffeine. It made everything better. So yeah.

Laura
Did you get the results? Are you still waiting? I got the results. Oh god. I’m so nervous.

Shanna
I passed.

Laura
Oh, thank God.

Shanna
I do not have gestational diabetes. My doctor is so funny. He called and told me that good news. News. Like Eat. Eat a cupcake? Immediately. You’re in the clear.

Laura
Thank you. Thank you. Oh, man. Well, at least there’s a happy ending. Yes. So

Shanna
Yeah, that’s that’s my week. And I think that’s enough to report for this week.

Laura
Alrighty, then.

All right. Our next segment is Oh, gee, I’m freaking out. Where we talk about the things that are stressing us out about our pregnancies shot out. What are you freaking out about this week?

Shanna
This week? I am freaking out about pregnancy rage.

Laura
Pregnancy rage. Oh, no.

Shanna
I’m that’s what I’m freaking out. About. Like, I’m hoping, crossing my fingers, that it’s pregnancy anger related, like all related to hormones, because, of course, my mind is like, oh my god. Like, this is the new Shanna, just this angry, frustrated rage person. So basically, I’m just my schedule is packed to the max. You guys all know I’m work full time I am. I take care of a toddler. I’m pregnant and

Laura
A lot of shit going on.

Shanna
I do. And I have two little dogs that I love. But they like bark all the time. And just like just so many little things are grading on my nerves at all times. And I think it’s all heightened by the pregnancy and the hormones so much so that the other night for the I think the first time in my life, I had a dream in which I was punching people in the face. Wow. Just it felt satisfying. But also not. Because in your dreams sometimes, you know how you just like faltering can’t do things as good as you want to run as fast. Like, like, I try to punch this bitch in the face. Who like is like cheating on my, my husband’s cheating on her cheating on me with hard like, just crazy dream. But I’m trying to like punch in the face and just kind of like grazes her jaw. But I know it’s all coming from this, I don’t know, hopefully hormonal pool of anger. And I’m not going to just be a mad mom for the rest of my life. So I don’t know, I hope I’m freaking out that I’m not going to be the same ever again.

Laura
Well, I will say that I do think your definition of like raging bitch is a lot different than sort of the average person,

You are a very nice person who is very even keeled. And I have to say that I have not been the recipient of any of like, I like I haven’t, I haven’t noticed you being angry or anything, you know, in our social interaction.

Shanna
So no. And I mean, that’s part of it, too, is I definitely like to keep that kind of stuff under wraps, especially like around my child and around my husband and work with coworkers. So a lot of it, a lot of those feelings just kind of stay, you know, bottled up, kind of sometimes feel like a boiling pot with a lid on top, and everything’s inside. And then I take it out in my dreams, which is probably a good place to take it out.

Laura
Well, I mean, it’s, you know, a safe place to take it out. Yeah, I might ask if there’s like, some constructive way you could take it out. I don’t think you’re going to be joining any boxing classes now. But like, yeah, could you journal about it? Or? I don’t know some crap.

Shanna
Yeah, probably. I mean, I like writing that that tends to help talking about it helps, you know, being able to wake up and be like, Oh, my God, Steve. I had like this crazy dream where I was like punching people. And it’s just, it’s wild. It’s wacky. It’s also crazy to me, because pregnant women are often labeled as like, glowing and so happy. And just like this picture of perfection, and sometimes the reality is that you just feel like a raging bitch. And you just have to deal with that.

Laura
Yeah, you know, I love talking about how pregnancy is not this, you know, single wonderful, amazing thing for everyone. Everyone has different experiences. And everyone has different experiences within one pregnancy. You don’t I mean, like, it can be wonderful and terrible at the same time. So I’m all about embracing embrace your pregnancy. Rage shit, I don’t know. Just need are not in destructive ways. But let me add her out.

Shanna
Yeah, I mean, I just want to say, I’m not ever going to hurt anyone on my child is not at risk or anything. So it’s just feelings inside. And I will say one thing I think might be fueling this is just getting bigger, and my body is more uncomfortable. I’m in the third trimester now or seven weeks. It’s sometimes I’m not sure if it’s 2728. But the doctor when I saw him at 27 years, like Welcome to the third trimester.

Laura
Well, there you go. Yeah, ask. I haven’t paid attention. It’s so funny. Because I was so intensely focused on when the first trimester was going to end. I knew it to like the hour and now I’m just like, oh, when did the third trimester start out? Know,

Shanna
Around 27 weeks? So it’s just more everything’s more uncomfortable. And yeah, so yeah, what about you? What are you freaking out about?

Laura
I am freaking out. Not about pregnancy, rage, but about pregnancy brain,

Shanna
What’s going on?

Laura
I have been in deep denial of the concept of pregnancy brain, I decided that it wasn’t a real thing, and that it wasn’t going to happen to me. Okay. And that it was just a thing that people say to excuse, you know, you’re, you’re distracted, there’s a lot of things going on, you’re tired, but pregnancy brain like I’m not losing brain cells, right? Mm hmm. However, I have been presented with some evidence that I indeed have pregnancy brain and it’s making me worry a little bit because as you know, I rely on my brain quite a bit for my job. And my life by job as a web developer requires a lot of brain and forgetting little things is little things are okay. But when you start making big mistakes, it’s a problem. And I thankfully haven’t had any big mistakes at work yet that I know of. But I was making a quilt for our friend Carrie, who we actually interviewed a couple episodes ago. Go. So I wanted to make her a quilt for the baby. And the way I have my sewing setup. I usually like clear off my kitchen island, have a use that and I have my cutting mats. I have my cutting mats on one side. And then I have my I have this like, big, flat square pressing board. And it’s just like, basically a piece of like, plywood that I wrapped in batting. And then I wrapped in fabric, so it’s just a big flat surface, you can press your fabric on. Mm hmm. But it’s covered in fabric, right, and batting. So one thing you really don’t want to do is take a rotary cutter and run the rotary cutter over your ironing board. Mm hmm. Which is exactly what I did. Oh, thinking it was the cutting board. Yes. So normally, what you do is you press your fabric on the pressing board. And then you move it to the cutting board. And you take your little rotary colored cutter, which looks like a pizza cutter, right. And you cut it on the cutting Matt, because the cutting Matt doesn’t get cut. It’s the cutting that it’s designed for that high. But I press my fabric and then took my rotary cutter and cut directly on top of my pressing board. Oh, no, straight through all the fabric. And I cut a square. So it wasn’t even just like one little cut. Like I cut out the whole center. Pressing board

Shanna
has a big square cut out of the middle.

Laura
Well, I got a little rangy to and I was like, damn it. But I realized I still had all the materials to fix it. So I like tore out all the fabric you have to like, it’s really not that hard to make one. Maybe I’ll post to tutorial that I am used to make it so it’s just like a square piece of particle board. And then you take a staple gun and you just like staple the fabric to the back of it. And it makes a nice smooth surface. And so I p so I so I get like pliers. And I’m like peeling out all the staples. And I get my new fabric. And I bring it out by like make another pressing board. 10 minutes later. I do the exact same thing again.

I was so mad.

The only thing I can do that can explain this is pregnancy brain to me. Because like I should have known not to cut on it because I had already done it. And it already took me half hour to like fix the thing

So mad. I’m glad I was home alone. He’d be like, why are you throwing fabric around?

But and you know that that was the most obvious one that I’ve run into. But there’s little things and I don’t know. I don’t want to lose my brain. Gianna. I don’t want to lose it.

Shanna
Yeah. No, I mean, there. It’s so so many hormones and stuff are going on in that brain right now. It’s not permanent. It’s not permanent. It’s not permanent. So my.

Laura
I think I posted something about it. Pregnancy brain to my Facebook and my stepsister was like news flash. It doesn’t come back when the baby’s born. I was like, Wow, she likes teasing me.

Shanna
Yeah, I think so. I think so. I think you’ll be fine. You’re not going to live in endless Groundhog Day loop of cutting a square out.

Laura
That is that is a very specific type of hell. That would be perfect for me. That’s okay.

All right. Well, I feel a little better now. Do you feel better?

Shanna
I feel better. Good. Let’s move on.

Laura
Yeah.

Shanna
Alright, let’s dive into our BFPs and BFNs for the week. Laura, what do you got for us?

Laura
Alright, so I have a BFN. Mm hmm. And the BFN is pubic bone pain. Oh, yeah. Which sexy. Yeah. What is that? So let me preface this by how I got the pubic bone pain.

Shanna
So every time you say pubic bone pain. I just laugh I’m sorry. Immature.

Laura
I know. No. Cuz it’s like, so. It’s. It shouldn’t be weird, right? Because it’s just, it’s just even inconvenient spot. Like, yeah, it’s not my badge. It’s like, the bone and supporting.

Shanna
Okay. All right.

Laura
Yeah. So it’s like, in the front, you know, it’s like, so what it is, is, it’s, we don’t have your pelvis. Your, your, your. Yeah, your pelvis. Your, your pubic bone here. Well, your pelvis. Whatever it is. I can’t keep saying that. Because you’re just going to.

So you’re your hips. Right? your hip bones. Okay. Yes. They’re like two parts. And they meet in the front, but they don’t quite touch in the front. Like they’re actually separated by this thing called Don’t laugh. The pubic synthesis.

Shanna
Okay, is it cartilage? Or what?

Laura
Does that cartilaginous joint? So, so enjoy, right? Pubic bones. And oh, so often in pregnancy, because you have that relaxing all anything that’s connective tissue gets relaxed, right? Mm hmm. So what happens is, it can get like swollen or your pubic bone bones can get like, misaligned. So it can be like tour aided twist, not twisted, but like, like moved a lot, just enough so that it’s like causing pain. Some people get really, really terrible pain. And they can’t walk like I was, I was researching it. And all these women were talking about how they like, you know, midway through the second trimester couldn’t walk anymore, and how painful it was. And I had just like a little bit of like, achy in that area. But nothing serious until Thursday. This week, I was babysitting for a friend. She had like a last minute meeting. She needed to she just like had to take. And so I offered to babysit her six month old who is like, ridiculously cute. And it was super fun. She lives on top of this stair street in Los Angeles. There’s certain very hilly areas of Los Angeles where you don’t have a street in front of your house. You have a staircase and so you have to walk up like 100 something steps to get to her house. Kudos, fine. Exercise, right. Yeah. So I go, I walk up and up her steps babysit, which you know, a six month old who’s already crawling, so you’re like up, you’re down, you’re up, you’re down, bouncing her to get her to take a nap, all that stuff. And then immediately after I went to an Arcade Fire concert with our friends, and apparently that was too much or a 23 Weeks Pregnant person.

Shanna
Were you standing at the concert?

Laura
Well, we have seats, thankfully. But everyone else was standing. So if you wanted to see you had to stand. So I was taking regular breaks. But yeah, yeah. But you know, like, you stand up. It’s exciting. Yeah, you know, so it was a great show. And I felt fine at the show. But whole man the next day, I could barely walk. It was really bad. And I started panicking because I was like, is this the beginning of the end? I’m going to Am I going to be one of these women who can’t walk like it’s terrible. And it was just really awful pain. So thankfully, it seems to be getting a little better. But it’s still there. I’m I’ve ordered some yoga blocks and some like a belt. What do they call those like maternity belts? That like oh, yeah, like way to start your stomach? Yeah. So I’m waiting for those who arrive from Amazon. And once those get here hopefully those will help because I am not okay with this pain continuing for the next what? 16 weeks. So

Unknown
relief please. Thank you. And you can’t take anything I was gonna say. I know. So.

Laura
Yeah. That’s my BFN for the week. What do you got for us?

Shanna
I have a BFP.

Laura
Oh, good.

Shanna
Yes. Which is pumpkin body butter from Trader Joes. Which I love. Because one thing about becoming pregnant and your skin stretching and your tummy stretching is it gets like kind of itchy and stuff. And there’s just something great about putting just the thickest lotion possible on your body. And it’s the fall season. And so it smells great. And reminds me of, of autumn, and Halloween and all the good times because it smells like pumpkin.

Laura
So is this a seasonal thing that they have?

Shanna
Yes. And if you’re savvy, you can stock up on these and then sell them on eBay throughout the year. For three times. They’re worth I have found seriously I mean, they’re worth like five bucks. So yeah, you can you can try to sell them for 15 on eBay. But don’t do that. Now. Run out now and get your body butter from Trader Joe’s.

Laura
Ooh, I was just at Trader Joe’s. So I’m gonna have to go back I actually live right by the original Trader Joes.

Shanna
Oh really?

Laura
Yeah. Apparently the one in Pasadena on Fair Oaks was the very first one they have a little plaque outside. So I was feelingso close to history.

Shanna
It’s important part of history. If you ask me

Laura
Well, I mean, what would we do without their delicious prepackaged foods? I don’t know. I don’t know. I have survived this pregnancy based on Trader Joe’s. I really like their curry chicken salad. Delicious.

Shanna
Oh, yeah. That does sound good, huh? I like their salt. Salted Caramel chocolate balls. Oh, yeah.

Laura
All right. I’m gonna have to go back.

Shanna
Alright guys, that’s it. For our show. We’d love to know what your biggest Trader Joe’s cravings are. Or if you don’t shop at Trader Joe’s. Whatever your pregnancy. cravings are. Or your BFPs or BFNs for the week, Laura How can people reach out to us?

Laura
We’re on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook at BFP podcast. We also have a website Big Fat Positive podcast.com where we will put our show notes so you can find all the things we talked about on today’s show.

Shanna
Thanks for listening, and please be sure to subscribe and rate our podcast. We would appreciate it so much Big Fat Positive is produced by Shanna Micko Laura Birek and Steve Yager. See you next time. Thanks for listening.

Laura
Oh, man. Well, at least there’s a happy ending.

Shanna
Yes. Can you hold on a second? My dogs are fucking going bonkers. Yeah.