Ep. 66: The Glitz and Sh*ts of Parenting

[Music]

Shanna Micko: Hi. Welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. On this week’s episode we have our weekly check-ins. We have our special segment, Never Have I Ever: Parenting Edition where we go from glitz and glamor to down and dirty and we wrap it up with our BFPs and BFNs. Let’s get to it.

[Music]

Shanna Micko: Hey, everyone. Welcome to the show. Hey, Laura.

Laura Birek: Hi, Shanna.

Shanna Micko: How are you guys doing this week? Give us your check-in. How old’s your baby?

Laura Birek: We’re good. My baby is eight months old this week.

Shanna Micko: Whoa.

Laura Birek: Yeah, time just keeps moving forward. It’s strange and a little scary.

Shanna Micko: What a concept.

Laura Birek: I know. Things are pretty good here. One of the big milestone things that is happening over here is that baby boys when starting to army crawl, he army crawls a lot and he army crawls very fast. I actually was thinking he might never actually like crawl, crawl, but he’s starting to get his knees under him more. But he really is pulling his knees up under him every once in a while and then he’ll flop back down on his stomach. I don’t know if it’s a precursor to pulling up. What I really want him to do is push back into a sitting position, which he hasn’t figured out yet. If only he would figure out how to get onto his butt, he’d be so much happier, because he’ll army crawl, army crawl, army crawl, and then be like, what? I don’t want to be on my stomach anymore and start flapping his arms and legs and crying and I’ll have to come save him. I’m like but, you could probably figure out how to get onto your butt.

Shanna Micko: Have you given him a lecture on how to go from being on your knees to sitting on your butt?

Laura Birek: I have not given him a lecture. Is that what I’m missing? Is that a parenting technique?

Shanna Micko: I think so. Like college-level lectures, long and drawn out I think is the way to go.

Laura Birek: Make sure you take notes.

Shanna Micko: Using PowerPoint. Yes.

Laura Birek: I have gotten on my own hands and knees and showed him a couple times how it works. I have no idea if that helps and I’ve kind of tried to plop him down, do it for him, but he does not like that. Anyway, but I’m just not sure. Part of me thinks he’s going to skip crawling altogether and part of me thinks, oh, maybe he’s just getting to it now, because his friends his age are crawling, but he’s just never liked getting his tummy off the floor. We’ll see. It’s a step in that direction, but he is so fast army crawling and the other check-in I have for this week is that I was letting him sort of crawl free on his stomach, push himself around all over his nursery actually and we have like a really low pile rug there. It’s actually one of those Ruggable rugs. Did I talk about this? Was this my BFP?

Shanna Micko: I’ve been wondering how those are.

Laura Birek: Okay.

Shanna Micko: No, you haven’t talked about that.

Laura Birek: For people who don’t know the Ruggable rug is, I don’t know about you, it was advertised like crazy to me, especially around the time I was having the baby. Maybe it’s because I watch a lot of HGTV, but it’s a rug that you can put into a standard washing machine. What it is, is there’s a base that’s almost like the soft side of Velcro and then there’s a top that’s the actual rug that sticks to it, adheres to it and then you separate them and then you can put the top part in your washing machine and I’ve done it a couple times and it actually washes really well.

Shanna Micko: Cool.

Laura Birek: I was shocked because it’s still bulky and I think we have an 8 foot by 10 foot size. So it’s not a small rug and yeah, I love it. I think it’s great.

Shanna Micko: Oh my God, with two dogs and a baby, I need this.

Laura Birek: No, I highly recommend.

Shanna Micko: But what if the liquid or spit up or pee goes through the top layer, what do you do?

Laura Birek: I don’t know. Well, maybe dog pee would. It’s a pretty dense rug fabric and there’s a backing on it, so I just don’t see it doing that too badly. I think it would spread outwards on the rug more than it would go through, but I have to say, I don’t know. I can’t tell you, because I don’t have dogs that are peeing on everything or cats that are peeing on everything, but we do have cats that scoot their butts on things. You know the butt scoot. I think that’s a four legged mammal trick.

Shanna Micko: Yes.

Laura Birek: So that’s been cleaned up very well, but the point is that the Ruggable rug is a very low pile rug, very, very like dense almost. My little boy was scooching along it super-fast, just going back and forth. Basically, he was chasing the cats actually. We have double glass doors in the nursery and so he was sitting there snorting himself. So the baby would like crawl, crawl, crawl to the cat then the cat would be like, wait, I don’t want to be next to you and would go to the other side of the room and then he would crawl, crawl, crawl back to the cat. He did this back and forth a bunch of times and then later when I went to go change his diaper, I look and the ball of his foot had a big old blister on it.

Shanna Micko: Baby’s first booboo.

Laura Birek: I felt so bad and I realized that he’s always pushing off with his right foot. It’s the exact same spot, so I have to be careful with that, because he’s very vigorous with his army crawling and it can be dangerous.

Shanna Micko: Poor guy.

Laura Birek: We had a normal and an abnormal week, but I’m going to talk about the abnormal in our next segment. That’s it for our check-ins for this week. Shanna, how about you? What are you up to this week and how old is your baby?

Shanna Micko: CeCe is eight months four weeks. I feel weird. We’re kind of off here. I feel like I should say nine months, but she’s not quite nine months yet.

Laura Birek: Not yet. Calendars are funny. Some months have four and a half weeks and it just happens.

Shanna Micko: So she’s eight months, four weeks and pretty good uneventful week. Just a couple cute little things to mention. Last week I was talking about how if I kind of stood her up at her little push lion, she would walk around and so this week I discovered if she’s standing up and I hold her little baby hands, she’ll take steps towards me and it’s just so stinking cute. I just love watching her chubby little legs walk towards me. Oh, man. I love babies. I am not ready for a toddler though, so I am not encouraging this too much.

Laura Birek: I was going to say I had this thought the other day. I was like, wait, why did I want a precocious motor skills kid? That just makes life so much harder.

Shanna Micko: Oh my God, it so does. When they become toddlers, you just have to chase them around everywhere. It’s crazy.

Laura Birek: I feel like I’m already doing that with the army crawling. He’s so fast. I have to be on top of him at all times.

Shanna Micko: Oh, yes. They just get into everything. Oh my goodness. But anyway, so that’s super cute. Another thing of note, she did her first painting.

Laura Birek: Oh, she did?

Shanna Micko: Yes, this is not my idea. I feel like I should be a Pinterest mom with these activities for my kid. No, this is something that she did at daycare when she was at backup care. They’re like, “Here’s her painting she did today.” I was like, “What?” Tears.

Laura Birek: Aww.

Shanna Micko: It’s so cute. I kind of want to frame it. I love it so much.

Laura Birek: So it was finger painting?

Shanna Micko: They were like, “She didn’t really want to use the paint brush so much. She really just wanted to use her fingers.”

Laura Birek: Your eight months in glory gold doesn’t want to use the paint brush.

Shanna Micko: Yeah, right. Then the teacher’s like, “It’s supposed to be the moon.” I was like, “Oh, is it?” Is that what CeCe told you it’s supposed to be the moon?” So cute.

Laura Birek: That’s really funny. She’s having a deep discussion about the background of the painting, what her inspiration was. When’s the last time she saw the moon? She goes to bed at like seven, right?

Shanna Micko: I know right. Only in her picture book. It’s an abstract concept of that.

Laura Birek: That’s funny. That’s really cute though. That kind of makes me want to get some paints. Although I don’t want to do that at home. How do you do it at home without ruining everything in your house?

Shanna Micko: Definitely has to be a contained area. Maybe a high chair with a good bib, because I think you could and it is fun. Maybe I’ll be adventurous one day and attempt it at home, because they did take a picture of her doing it at school and she was in a little chair at the table. It was a confined area. It wasn’t kind of like a free floor.

Laura Birek: I like my Ruggable rug, but I don’t think it would stand up to him army crawling across it with paint just trailing behind him.

Shanna Micko: That might make a very creative painting though, just like the streaks.

Laura Birek: That’s true. What if I’ve become the next big modern artist by covering my baby in paint and then sending over a canvas?

Shanna Micko: There you go. That’s your million dollar idea right there: baby art.

Laura Birek: Shit, I just told everyone.

Shanna Micko: Yes, no one steal that idea, okay? That’s Laura’s idea.

Laura Birek: Please don’t steal that idea. Actually, you can because it’s never going to happen. If you make a million dollars, just tell people to listen to Big Fat Positive.

Shanna Micko: There you go. That’s a good trade off.

Laura Birek: Yeah, I think so too.

Shanna Micko: Then the last little thing is so cute. This week we had a good week. As you can tell, I’m giving very cute little updates. She’s recognizing words now, which is very cool. If I’m like, “CeCe wears the ball,” she’ll crawl to her ball, roll the ball and instead of chewing it, she’ll kind of drop it so it rolls.

Laura Birek: Receptive language.

Shanna Micko: Yeah.

Laura Birek: That’s cool.

Shanna Micko: This is very heartening for me since I’ve been a little bit concerned about her babbling and her vocalness and stuff like that. So it’s cool. It’s like, “Where’s mama’s nose?” She’ll touch my nose. Those are her two tricks.

Laura Birek: That’s so great. That’s awesome.

Shanna Micko: But that’s pretty much it for this week. We had a nice little week. Should we move on to our special segment after this break?

Laura Birek: I think we should.

[Music]

Laura Birek: Welcome back. Our special segment this week is Never Have I Ever, where we play that old drinking game you probably learned in college, but with a parenting twist. Shanna, what do you have for us this week?

Shanna Micko: Before I was a parent, never have I ever been naked from the waist down trying to comfort my baby in public.

Laura Birek: Wow. I cannot drink to that. Tell me more.

Shanna Micko: Well, it’s a little bit of an exaggeration, because I was not in my home, but I was in an exam room at a doctor’s office. So I was like out in the world, but still not somewhere that I want to be naked from the waist down standing around trying to comfort my baby. 

I went to the OB recently. I mentioned it last episode because of the C-section residual pain that I had for a year.

Laura Birek: That’s right.

Shanna Micko: I brought the baby, because I’m just toting this baby to every appointment around town, apparently, just praying that she’s well behaved at my appointments.

Laura Birek: Hi five to you.

Shanna Micko: Thank you. We’re in the exam room and she’s in her stroller and they’re like, “Okay. Get ready for your ultrasound waist down,” blah, blah, blah with this tiny sheet over my waist and I’m sitting on the exam table waiting, waiting, and like, “Hi, CeCe. Du, du, du.” Singing. I’m losing her.

Laura Birek: Oh, man.

Shanna Micko: Starting to cry, starting to get really fuss and I’m like, “No, no, no, no.” I hop off the table holding this sheet with one hand praying that the doctor doesn’t come in at that moment just as out like, “Hi.” Give her a toy, go back to the table. That’s not doing it. I try to put white noise on my phone. That doesn’t do anything for an eight month old baby anymore, by the way. White noise doesn’t do anything. I don’t know. Does white noise do anything for your baby anymore?

Laura Birek: Well, we use it at night. During the day, the only times I’ve tried to use it is if I’m trying to get a stroller nap in and I have that little portable one and it kind of works. But it’s not like you used to.

Shanna Micko: No, it’s not like, they’re like, oh, I’m instantly transported back to the womb. I will calm down and fall asleep.

Laura Birek: Not at all.

Shanna Micko: But you know what? Desperate times.

Laura Birek: We’re only in the seventh trimester or whatever. Not quite. Probably sixth trimester.

Shanna Micko: Yeah, something like that. Then I’m like, oh, gosh, I got to make a bottle. So I hop off the table. I’m holding this sheet with one hand trying to pour formula powder in the bottle and shake it up. I’m like, oh my God, please don’t walk in at this moment and shook it up and gave it to her and I made it just in the nick of time. So it was just a sweat inducing experience that wasn’t the best.

Laura Birek: I want to say that your OB has seen a lot worse.

Shanna Micko: True. I’m sure he would’ve been fine with it.

Laura Birek: I don’t think finding a woman waist down naked is really that out of the ordinary for him.

Shanna Micko: He’d be like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop flashing me lady. I got to go.

Laura Birek: Keep your business. This reminds me of my embarrassing thing. I don’t know if I ever talked about this. Oh, man, when I had my C-section after I had my baby, you’re not allowed to walk for 24 hours or something. I can’t remember exactly when. It was definitely the next day, because you have a catheter and your legs are in the squeezy things. I love those squeezy things though.

Shanna Micko: Oh, God, I hated those.

Laura Birek: Really? I wanted to take mine home.

Shanna Micko: They were so sweaty. They were like plastic.

Laura Birek: See, mine were great. For people who don’t know, when you have I think any kind of surgery really, they want to make sure you don’t get blood clots in your legs, so they put you in these little like boots basically that squeeze your calves. They fill up with air almost like a blood pressure cuff intermittently and for me, I was just like, it’s a free massage all day. 

Anyway, you can’t get up from the hospital bed for like a day and then when they come and they take the catheter out and they come to take you to go to the bathroom for the first time, they want to see you walk. It’s a whole production. You’re not allowed to get out of the bed until a nurse is there helping you. So that is happening I think the next morning and they come and they’re helping me go to the bathroom. For anyone who’s given birth, I don’t care if it’s a C-section or a vaginal birth, there’s a lot of blood on that first go. I go and they help me into the bathroom and I sit down on the toilet and just at that moment, my OB walks in.

Shanna Micko: Oh my God.

Laura Birek: I was like, “Oh, hey doctor,” and he’s like, “I should probably come back another time. Huh?” I was like, “That might be good.”

Shanna Micko: Oh, no.

Laura Birek: He’s such a nice guy. He was just like, whoops, bad timing. I was just like, I’m beyond shame at this point. So I’m just sitting on the toilet, talking to my doctor. So yeah, I feel you on that one.

Shanna Micko: But you’re right. They have seen it all. What about you? What’s your never have I ever parenting edition?

Laura Birek: Okay. Never have I ever dressed my boy in ruffle butt jeggings and a peplum shirt, because he was going to be playing a girl on television.

Shanna Micko: What? There’s so much to unpack there.

Laura Birek: This was the cryptic exciting part of my week that I wanted to hold off on for the never have I evers.

Shanna Micko: Oooh.

Laura Birek: You might recall that in episode 59 I revealed the news that my baby got a talent agent, which is I think a little ridiculous, but amazing and he booked his first gig.

Shanna Micko: What!?

Laura Birek: Baby boy is going to be playing a baby girl on Modern Family.

Shanna Micko: Oh, what? That’s an amazing show.

Laura Birek: I know. He’s going to be on an episode of Modern Family that actually is airing this week, October 9th, 2019, for anyone listening. The episode is called Perfect Pairs. It’s the third episode of season 11, which is their final season. 11 seasons. Pretty impressive. So he didn’t have to audition or anything. He’s technically an extra because you know babies don’t have lines and I can’t say too much about it, but you guys will see in just a couple days what he was doing. Everyone’s like, “Oh my gosh, is he going to be Haley’s twins?” Because if you watch the show, Haley, who’s one of the main characters had twins I guess last season. I haven’t been watching and I was like, no, no, no. They hired two sets of twins to play those twins.

Shanna Micko: Yeah.

Laura Birek: No, this is a one off little cameo essentially.

Shanna Micko: They’re not going to make a CG twin of your baby in order to like…

Laura Birek: Oh my gosh, no. I didn’t read the contract too closely. It’s funny because he didn’t have to audition. We actually got an email while we were all hanging out, you and me, at our friend’s house who is an actress. She works a lot. She has had a lot of roles in various movies and TV shows and I was like, “The baby’s going to be on Modern Family,” and she’s like, “Cool, cool, cool. So I’ve just been auditioning my ass off for years, but he books network TV on his first go without even auditioning.”

Shanna Micko: Oh, man.

Laura Birek: The reason I dressed him as a girl is because we arrived and the costume people were like, “Okay, so we have a couple options. We weren’t sure if his name was a boy name or a girl name,” which I’m going to stop right there and say I know you all don’t know my baby’s name, but it is a very traditionally boy’s name.

Shanna Micko: That is bizarre.

Laura Birek: I think it was a lie.

Shanna Micko: Also, wouldn’t they get the stats? Isn’t that something that comes along?

Laura Birek: I don’t know. He’s a baby.

Shanna Micko: That’s funny.

Laura Birek: I think it was honestly just them being like, “Well, we kind of wanted to dress him as a girl. So we’re just going to pretend we didn’t know.” But of course, I didn’t care, because I figured it was my moment to put my money where my mouth is where gender neutrality is concerned. I’m a true believer in gender as a social construct and all that stuff and they’re freaking babies. Unless they’re showing off their genitals, you have no idea what their sex is. Right?

Shanna Micko: No.

Laura Birek: The costume lady was super nice and she’s like, “Well, we have all these different options, but I think this one is the cutest and it fits best for the scene.” It was Carter’s I think a yellow, long sleeved peplum shirt. It was a shirt that has the ruffly bottom.

Shanna Micko: I don’t know what peplum shirt means.

Laura Birek: If you imagine a shirt that’s fitted about to the empire waist and then it flares out.

Shanna Micko: Is empire waist part of your waist? I don’t know.

Laura Birek: So it’s like a shirt that goes right down right where your bra line would be basically and then it flares out. It’s almost like it’s like a skirt.

Shanna Micko: Like a hippie shirt.

Laura Birek: Yeah, sure.

Shanna Micko: I don’t know. That’s what I’m picturing.

Laura Birek: Okay. It’s almost like a mini dress. It’s like a dress that doesn’t go all the way down.

Shanna Micko: Got you.

Laura Birek: It’s like flared and frilly and there was a bow on the back and it had giraffes on it. It was really cute.

Shanna Micko: Cute.

Laura Birek: Then jeggings that had the ruffle butt. I also discovered that girl, baby pants are cut way slimmer than boy, baby pants, because it was so hard to get these on him. I was like, oh my God, it starts in infancy: these uncomfortable pants. They were jeggings, so they were probably pretty comfortable, but they were way tight on him and they were the same size. They were like nine month Carter’s, I think. He has so many nine month Carter’s pants that fit him just fine, but because they were girl pants, they were cut slim cut.

Shanna Micko: That’s so funny. It’s a shame too, because you know I’ve got some girls with a little chub on their leg. Elle when she was a baby and now CeCe as a baby and it is hard for me to actually find pants that are a good fit: girl pants.

Laura Birek: Yeah, you got to buy those boy pants, I guess.

Shanna Micko: I guess so. How am I going to get my hot pink?

Laura Birek: I know. You have to dye it yourself.

Shanna Micko: I guess so. That sounds like a cute outfit. Love it.

Laura Birek: It was a very cute outfit. I was a little sad they didn’t have a bow, because I was like, let’s go all the way.

Shanna Micko: Yes.

Laura Birek: I have to say it looked really, really cute. You guys can see on Wednesday on the show. It looked really cute.

Shanna Micko: I’m so excited to see. Oh my gosh.

Laura Birek: I couldn’t take any pictures. They are really strict on any leaks, any spoilers, because it’s their last season and I think it’s really important. So there was no personal photography allowed and I can’t even tell you anything about the scene. All I can say is that he’s in two scenes.

Shanna Micko: Very exciting. How was it being on a TV show and you’re baby being a star obviously? Did he like it? What happened?

Laura Birek: I actually have a second never have I ever relating to that, which is never have I ever kept my baby up two hours past his nap time so he could be on television.

Shanna Micko: Fuck that shit.

Laura Birek: That was something I was really nervous about. You know you’re on their schedule. They’re not on your schedule. The first day it worked out perfectly with his naps. He’s only doing two naps a day now, so he slept in the car on the way to the studio lot. We were shooting on the Fox Lot, which is really cool. I’d never been on the Fox Lot before, but there’s all these murals of the Simpsons and all these other cool things they’ve shot there and so he shot and then he napped on the ride home and it was fine. There’s all these laws, like babies can’t be on call for more than four hours I think and they can only be on set for two and they didn’t even use him for like one. It was fine. They’re on their 11th season, so they know what they’re doing. But the second day our call time was 7:00 a.m. on the west side. So I had to wake him up early and I drove him an hour and a half to get there. I ended up running a little late and so I was feeling nervous that we were holding things up. Anyway, we arrived late, but with plenty of time. We ended up having to sit around and then I was thinking, oh, well, at least we are here. We’re going to get this scene shot and then we’ll be home and he’ll nap in the car. There were delays and then we got called to where they were. They were shooting it on New York Street, which is very cool. I love those back lots. If you’ve ever done like a Universal Studio Lot towards sort of like that, it’s very cool. But we were sitting there in a holding room for 15 minutes, 30 minutes, 45 minutes, an hour and by the time we were called onto set, it had been like an hour and a half past his longest wake window that he was supposed to be awake. So I was freaking out, because I was like, oh my God, is he going to lose his shit?

Shanna Micko: Ruin the takes. Be the kid that’s like, whaaaa.

Laura Birek: Exactly. You can’t have a baby that’s crying the whole time. I was just hoping he’s so into the world and so easily distracted that I was just hoping and praying that, that would save us and it totally did.

Shanna Micko: Oh, good.

Laura Birek: He loved it. Like loved it, loved it, loved it. He was so energized by all the people on the set and he was super into the cameras and he really loved the boom mic, which is the long like stick mic they hang over you to get your sound. So he’s probably going to be most of the time staring straight up at the sky in the shots, because he’s staring at the mic and he loved the woman who was playing his mom. Then the most exciting thing was even though it was more than two hours past his bedtime by the time they wrap the scene, Julie Bowen was fawning over him. Julie Bowen, who is the star of Modern Family and American Treasures, she’s a great comedic actress. She just turns out very, very nice too. During the scene when they were on breaks, they were resetting the shot or whatever between shots, she kept looking over to the woman playing my baby’s mom. She was like, “Oh my gosh, you got a cute one.”

Shanna Micko: Oh my God, that’s very sweet. But also very insulting.

Laura Birek: I think she probably said that to everyone, but she was just like, “Oh, look at that cutie,” and she was making faces at him.

Shanna Micko: Aww.

Laura Birek: Afterwards she wanted to talk to him and she sniffed his head.

Shanna Micko: That’s so cute.

Laura Birek: It was very sweet and he was a champ. He was happy and then he didn’t start losing his shit until after we got in the car.

Shanna Micko: Yay. Save it all for home. Good boy.

Laura Birek: My thing is I was feeling really like a bad mom a little bit, because I was like, what am I doing? I’m not a stage mom. You know what I mean?

Shanna Micko: Not yet.

Laura Birek: I’m keeping my baby awake. I know right. She says after two confessions about things she did, but my theory has been I’m going to stop this the minute he’s not having fun. Obviously, if we were there and he was crying, I’m not going to ruin the show and make them reshoot scenes, because I’m like, well, the baby’s not having fun. So we got to go. If he didn’t like being on set, I wasn’t going to make him do it again. I’m not interested at all in pursuing that, so I was really happy to see that he really, really enjoyed it. I don’t think it’s just me projecting. He was smiling on all the camera people and everyone was smiling at him and he’s just an extrovert. So it’s like an extrovert sitting when of course, everyone’s looking at you.

Shanna Micko: Aww, cool.

Laura Birek: My little star. Those are my two confessions and if you guys watch Modern Family this week episode Perfect Pairs, let me know if you spot my little boy dressed as a little girl in a yellow shirt. Anyway, I just realized I did two never have I evers and you only did one. So I’m going to put you on the spot for another one.

Shanna Micko: Well, that was super glamorous and I do have another never have I ever, which might top the glamor of that.

Laura Birek: I’m all ears.

Shanna Micko: Never have I ever stopped a grown man from eating poop.

Laura Birek: Wow. Okay. Tell me more.

Shanna Micko: Clearly that’s non-glamorous. This is my life. The other weekend, Elle and I made brownies and we all ate some brownies at dinner time and after dinner I change CeCe’s diaper and get her ready for the bath and Steve comes in and he is like, “Oh, you’ve got some brownie on your butt,” and he swipes a piece of brown stuff off her butt and he’s about to lick it off his finger.

Laura Birek: Oh my God.

Shanna Micko: I’m like, “Honey, I just changed her poopy diaper. I don’t think that’s brownie.” She was in her high chair in her onesie in a diaper. I don’t think brownie bits got into her diaper and onto her butt.

Laura Birek: That is some optimism on Steve’s part though I have to say.

Shanna Micko: I feel like that shows just how much he wanted one extra tiny bite of brownie.

Laura Birek: Yeah, that’s true. I love brownies. I don’t know if I would eat even a brownie off my baby’s butt. That’s risky behavior.

Shanna Micko: It is. It’s just so funny to me that it did not even register that the natural thing on a baby’s butt is a spec of poop, not a spec of delicious chocolaty Ghirardelli Double Choco brownies.

Laura Birek: Oh, man, I’m so glad you were there to stop him.

Shanna Micko: Yes, as am I.

Laura Birek: I do love those. I think it’s Ghirardelli. Someone taught me that recently and I was like…

Shanna Micko: Okay. Can you just stop being pretentious for one second? Ghirardelli?

Laura Birek: That’s how I felt about it. Now I know and I can’t not know.

Shanna Micko: No, never going to say it. Ghirardelli for life.

Laura Birek: But those are really good boxed brownies.

Shanna Micko: They’re the best. I love them. I’m not making brownies from scratch over here. No, no, no.

Laura Birek: Who does?

Shanna Micko: I don’t know.

Laura Birek: Some Pinterest moms I’m sure.

Shanna Micko: If you’re a Pinterest mom, send us your brownie recipes. We’ll try it one day.

Laura Birek: We will. I love doing things from scratch, but who has the time?

Shanna Micko: I’m just not good at it. It’s not going to be as good, so I want to eat something delicious.

Laura Birek: It’s a Ghirardelli.

Shanna Micko: I went to Ghirardelli Square in San Francisco one time. Because this story took place in the bathroom in the bathtub, it does remind me I have one more quick never have I ever. Should I share it or save it?

Laura Birek: Yeah, why not? Now, let’s keep going.

Shanna Micko: Okay. Never have I ever slathered my entire lower body with hand sanitizer? Can you guess why?

Laura Birek: Was there a blowout or a pee? I’m thinking some kind of baby excrement splash.

Shanna Micko: Yes, you know me and my poop stories. You have Hollywood glamor stories and I have poop stories. Cool.

Laura Birek: Don’t worry. I have poop stories too.

Shanna Micko: Oh, God. Just bathing CeCe and she pooped in the tub. I mentioned in a previous episode that my strategy for bathing her is I put a little stool in the bathtub and I sit in there so my feet and legs are in the water too.

Laura Birek: You put a little stool in the bathtub and then she puts a little stool in the bathtub? Hello?

Shanna Micko: Ouch.

Laura Birek: It’s too easy.

Shanna Micko: That was like a low hanging fruit, but it’s so worth it. That made me laugh. So yeah, there was so much stool in the tub. At that moment, I had to pick her up and try to figure out how to clean everything off and I didn’t have time to really shower my legs off and I saw a bottle of hand sanitizer there and I was like, good enough. So I’ve got her in one arm and I’m just pumping hand sanitizer and rubbing it all over my legs and over my feet. I’m like, good enough.

Laura Birek: You must have been cold. It evaporates and gets very cold. Doesn’t it?

Shanna Micko: Yeah, well, that was not the top thing on my mind at that moment. I was like, how do I clean the poop?

Laura Birek: Oh, man. Was it at least a contained type poop or a looser the whole bathtub is contaminated?

Shanna Micko: Oh, God, do you really want to know, Laura?

Laura Birek: I do. We’ve gone down this path. I told you about taking my first pee in front of my doctor: my first bloody ass pee.

Shanna Micko: It was loosey goosey, okay? That’s why I felt the need to really do a deep clean.

Laura Birek: You really do. That’s funny. I keep waiting. It’s inevitable that there’s going to be poop in the tub. It has not happened for us yet.

Shanna Micko: Wow. That’s really impressive. That’s not the first time it’s happened with us, so I’m impressed. Your little guy respects you.

Laura Birek: Yeah, sure. That’s what it is. It’s not just dumb luck. This has been a very revealing, Never Have I Ever, and I feel like it’s probably time to take a break and move on to our next segment.

Shanna Micko: Let’s do it.

[Music]

Shanna Micko: All right. We are back and we’re going to wrap things up with our BFPs and BFNs. Laura, what do you have for us?

Laura Birek: I have a BFP.

Shanna Micko: All right.

Laura Birek: Which is watermelon.

Shanna Micko: Oh, who doesn’t love watermelon?

Laura Birek: Who doesn’t and you know who loves watermelon it turns out?

Shanna Micko: Your husband.

Laura Birek: He does, but more importantly, the baby.

Shanna Micko: Oh, so yummy.

Laura Birek: So baby had his first watermelon.

Shanna Micko: Wait, I was there for that, wasn’t I?

Laura Birek: I know. I was going to say we were all hanging out and we were having some end of summer watermelon and it occurred to me he’s got this two bottom teeth and we’re starting to do finger foods, like puffs and stuff. I could probably with supervision hold this slice of watermelon and let him gnaw on it and we did and away he went and in one afternoon he ate three full slices of watermelon.

Shanna Micko: Wow.

Laura Birek: He loved it and it was a fun activity. It ate up time, which is always something you’re looking for with a baby.

Shanna Micko: Oh, yes.

Laura Birek: So I’m realizing that this is sort of a whole new world of things we can eat, because he’s doing better. He definitely chews when he eats food now so that’s a sign that finger foods and chunks of food are appropriate. We did it and watermelon dissolves really quickly. I made sure it was a softer piece and a smaller piece and there were a couple times where he really went for it and tried to get a really big chunk and I had to sort of fish it out, because it was a little bit too big, but yeah, it was a fun time had by all and it’s super cute watching a little baby gnaw on a piece of watermelon.

Shanna Micko: That’s so cute.

Laura Birek: Highly recommend watermelon.

Shanna Micko: Awesome.

Laura Birek: It’s a very wholesome and straightforward BFP for me this week.

Shanna Micko: Wait for end of summer.

Laura Birek: Yeah, how about you? Do you have a BFP or a BFN?

Shanna Micko: I have a BFP.

Laura Birek: Good.

Shanna Micko: That’s this Fisher-Price Musical Table. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it before on the show, but it’s this little baby toddler table and on the top is just a variety of different musical things like a little piano and a little fake book they can turn the pages and CeCe loves this thing. I had one for Elle and I brought it out for CeCe when she was pulling to stand and it was wonderful. She loved it and then she spit up all into it and the mechanics of it just hit the fritz and it broke.

Laura Birek: Oh, no.

Shanna Micko: There was no more music coming out of the beloved music table. So part of my BFP is you know how I love cheap and free stuff. I was on the lookout for a hand-me-down table in my moms’ groups on Facebook and lo and behold, a week later, someone’s like, “I’m getting rid of this Fisher-Price Music Table.” It was the literal exact table that we had except just different colors.

Laura Birek: Amazing.

Shanna Micko: I was like, I need that. I’m getting that. We drove over to Burbank and met a very nice mom in my moms’ group and picked up this table and it was good as new and we’re back in business with our music table.

Laura Birek: I love getting mom stuff on like Facebook marketplace or from Facebook mom’s groups, because it’s so nice to not have to contribute to more waste and then you don’t realize when you first have your baby how short a period of time all this crap is used for and if you have multiple kids you store it and then use it again. But eventually, you’re done with it and I have no interest in getting a bunch of money for all the toys and stuff I have. Once I’m done with them, I’m going to be handing them on to someone who needs them more and the Facebook marketplace and the moms groups are the best way to do it. That’s awesome.

Shanna Micko: Definitely.

Laura Birek: That’s how you got your jumperoo too, right?

Shanna Micko: Yeah, which we’re basically done with now. That was so short-lived and it’s still in perfect condition, so it’s just a matter of me getting off my butt and putting that stuff up for sale or up for free and coordinating with people who want it. But that’s my agenda too.

Laura Birek: That’s awesome. I’m inspired by you. I need to go get one of those tables because my guy is pulling to stand and he doesn’t really have anywhere to cruise once he decides to start cruising. I don’t have any good surfaces for him to really practice, so I feel like if I get one of those tables, that’ll give him something to practice on. He can go around it.

Shanna Micko: Yes, that’s what she does.

Laura Birek: So I need to look out. I’m going to keep a look out on that Facebook marketplace on my moms’ groups.

Shanna Micko: Yeah, do it.

Laura Birek: Cool. Well, that’s awesome.

Shanna Micko: I think that pretty much wraps up our episode. Do you have anything else?

Laura Birek: Nope, I think we should wrap this sucker up with a bow.

Shanna Micko: All right. Thank you guys all so much for listening. We really appreciate you and we appreciate your support. If you know anyone who’s pregnant or a new parent, please spread the word. Let them know about the Big Fat Positive Podcast and leave us a rating or a review on whatever platform you listen. That’s super helpful and reach out. We love hearing from you. Let us know if you have any never have I evers. We would love to know. Laura, how can everyone reach us?

Laura Birek: We are on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter at BFP Podcast. We also have a Facebook community group. Just search for Big Fat Positive community and ask to join. It’s a closed group, but I will add you and you can join in our great conversations we’re having there. Or you can go to our website, bigfatpositivepodcast.com. There’s all the links there and you can see our show notes.

Shanna Micko: Big Fat Positive is produced by Shanna Micko, Laura Birek and Steve Yager. Thanks for listening, everyone. Bye

Laura Birek: Bye. See you next week.

[Music]