Ep. 63: Strangers Say the Strangest Things (And So Do Husbands)

[Music]

Laura Birek: Welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. This week we have our weekly check-ins. We have our special segment, They Said What?! Where we have some real judgy strangers talking to us and we have our weekly BFPs and BFNs.

[Music]

Laura Birek: Let’s get started. Hi, everyone. Welcome. This is episode 63. Hi, Shanna.

Shanna Micko: Hey.

Laura Birek: You want tell us how old your baby is and what’s going on with you.

Shanna Micko: She is eight months and one week.

Laura Birek: Cool.

Shanna Micko: She just keeps on moving and grooving. So she’s crawling, standing, et cetera and now she’s just cruising, which I guess is the technical term for babies holding onto stuff and stepping around it.

Laura Birek: It’s so like cool. She’s cruising.

Shanna Micko: It really is and she is a cool baby, please. But yeah, it’s very cute. She stands up at her little music table and will take some little steps and stand at the couch and step around and it’s just very cute and I just can’t wait for the day she takes those little steps towards mama.

Laura Birek: It’s going to happen soon.

Shanna Micko: Yeah, I think it is going to happen really soon. She’s just so motivated and then the other thing for this week is that we went to her eight month checkup.

Laura Birek: Oh, is there an eight month checkup?

Shanna Micko: Yeah.

Laura Birek: We only have six and nine.

Shanna Micko: Our pediatrician does every two months I think until they’re one year old.

Laura Birek: Fascinating.

Shanna Micko: So we have an eight month checkup and the big news from that checkup, Laura, the doctor said CeCe has “great” ear canals.

Laura Birek: Well, I had no doubts.

Shanna Micko: Right. She’s has to be special that way. He looked in her ears and was like, “They’re very big and they don’t have very much hair in them.”

Laura Birek: Wow. Okay.

Shanna Micko: So I don’t know what that means, but Steve’s like, “Oh, that’s good. Maybe she won’t get many ear infections,” because I guess he had a ton of ear infections growing up and so he’s always worried that the girls are going to have those. That’s the big, exciting thing.

Laura Birek: Good ear canals. Maybe my guy does not because as I mentioned last week, he got a freaking ear infection. Hopefully, it’s not the first of many.

Shanna Micko: I hope not. You’ll have to ask in your next checkup the state of your baby’s ear canals.

Laura Birek: Are they good or bad?

Shanna Micko: It’s just so funny, because it’s one of those things I never thought to even consider that there was any difference in any people’s ear canals.

Laura Birek: Me neither. I have to say now I’m feeling a little inferior. I’m not going to lie.

Shanna Micko: Yu might have great ear canals. Who knows?

Laura Birek: I met my baby. My ear canals are past. Who cares about my ear canals?

Shanna Micko: I do, Laura. I care about your ear canals.

Laura Birek: Thank you, Shanna. That’s why you’re good friend.

Shanna Micko: Aww, thank you. The fun stats: she is 25th percentile in height and 60th now in weight.

Laura Birek: Wow.

Shanna Micko: I mentioned last week she would be a great contender for the thigh drop challenge.

Laura Birek: Chunky chunky legs.

Shanna Micko: Now we’ve got proof. She’s just become a little chunk star.

Laura Birek: So cute.

Shanna Micko: I brought up the concern that she’s not quite as vocal as I thought maybe she should be at this point and I said compared to Elle when she was this age, I watch videos of her at this age and she’s very chatty. He’s like, you can’t even compare her to Elle, because Elle’s verbal skills were off the chart and they still are, because he’s her pediatrician too.

Laura Birek: Got it.

Shanna Micko: I recall that at every checkup we ever had with her, he was always like, oh my gosh, she knows a lot of words, et cetera and I’m not saying this to brag about my kid or anything.

Laura Birek: Sure. Humble brag.

Shanna Micko: I know. Just to I guess point out and reassure everyone that babies really are different. When you have one baby, you get so used to that baby being the standard the way it is, like how babies are and then you have another baby and you’re like, oh, babies are different. People are different.

Laura Birek: I have to say going to Mommy & Me class has actually been a really good lesson in that because we have all these little baby friends that are basically the exact same age as my baby and everyone’s developing at different rates. It’s so fascinating. Like one baby will be crawling, another baby like isn’t sitting up yet. They’re all completely different and everything’s normal. It’s so interesting.

Shanna Micko: That is really interesting and that, especially because I don’t really get to go out much with CeCe and be around babies her age, because I’m working from home. So it’s the two of us a lot and I saw that comparison a lot more with Elle, because I brought her out and we did baby music class and so now I’m just kind of in this weird little insecure bubble of all I have to compare CeCe to is her sister of what I kind of remember from three years ago, which is hazy memories.

Laura Birek: This is just the beginning of probably a lifetime of being compared to her sister.

Shanna Micko: I’m sorry, CeCe.

Laura Birek: It’s natural. I was always compared to my brother and he was compared to me too. It’s just how it works.

Shanna Micko: Totally. But the funny thing is that in that appointment she became super vocal and chatty and was doing all this stuff and he’s like, “It could be that she likes being around other people in a new environment and doesn’t feel motivated to talk to you at home in the same environment.” I was like, “Yeah, that’s probably it.” Let’s just go ahead and fuel my guilt for being a work at home mom with divided attention all the time. I know he didn’t mean that and I’m trying not to ingest that blame or anything too much, but I have to say it does cross my mind.

Laura Birek: You know that if she was in daycare there’d be some other thing you were concerned about. She’s not getting enough attention from me. There’s just always something to be worried about. There’s no way to avoid it.

Shanna Micko: That’s true. But I was very pleased that she really lit up when she saw him and he even said, “The things you really are going to worry about at this age, she’s doing fine. She makes great eye contact. She’s very social. She smiles. She interacts. She likes people,” and so I was like, “Okay.” He’s like, “We’ll keep an eye on it though.” So I was like, “All right.” He made me feel better.

Laura Birek: That’s reassuring. I’m glad that he made you feel better.

Shanna Micko: Definitely. Anyway, that was my week. Laura, what have you guys been up to?

Laura Birek: Oh my God, Shanna. I think I’ve had the most challenging week to date since I’ve become a mom.

Shanna Micko: Oh, no. How old is your baby?

Laura Birek: I should probably tell you that. My baby is seven months and one week. Conveniently still one month behind your baby.

Shanna Micko: Yes, it’s easy.

Laura Birek: Okay. So Corey got sick. It’s bound to happen. Monday after work he came home with a freaking 102 fever.

Shanna Micko: That’s extreme sick. That’s very sore throat sick. Shit.

Laura Birek: I had this moment where I was like kind of resentful. I was like, why do you get to get sick? I don’t get to get sick and then I quickly became very sympathetic and also not jealous anymore, because he was extremely sick. So Monday, Tuesday, still sick. Wednesday morning he wakes up, he’s still has 102 fever. So I’m like, you got to go to the hospital. Meanwhile, I’m single parenting this whole time, because I don’t want him to get the baby sick. He doesn’t have the energy. So I’ve been doing everything.

Shanna Micko: Is he isolated or quarantined in the bedroom when you guys are out in the rest of the house?

Laura Birek: Yeah, he literally stays in our bedroom 24/7 for those first two days and part of it is that he was so tired he didn’t want to leave the room. But also we were trying to sort of keep him away and we have a small house as you know. It’s less than 1200 square feet, so it’s kind of hard to have him quarantined. So I’m taking care of the baby all by myself, trying to take care of him, trying to remember when he took his meds and all this stuff, “When did you last take ibuprofen?” Like trying to put it in the timer. I started using the baby tracking app to time him. I think I was pretty ingenious.

Shanna Micko: I think so. Maybe you’re onto something with a husband tracking app.

Laura Birek: Right. This is a husband tracking app. Anyway, Wednesday morning he’s still sick and I’m like, “You know what? We need to get you to the doctor, right?” So he calls his doctor, gets a 1:00 p.m. appointment. This is right when he wakes up, the baby has woken up, I need to go feed him. I walk out to go get the baby and I see my two year old cat limping not putting any weight on his leg.

Shanna Micko: Is this the cat that messed up his leg right before you were going to give birth?

Laura Birek: Yes, it is.

Shanna Micko: Okay.

Laura Birek: He has impeccable timing.

Shanna Micko: Doesn’t he?

Laura Birek: It was the same leg too and actually I had seen him slightly limping a couple days before, but I thought it’s the same thing. Last time it totally resolved itself with just a little bit of time, so I’m not going to worry about it, especially when your husband is sick with 102 fever and you have an infant, right?

Shanna Micko: Yeah.

Laura Birek: But this time the baby’s crying, but I’m like, I’ll go check on the cat. I touch the cat’s leg, barely brush it and he yells and hisses at me.

Shanna Micko: Oh, no.

Laura Birek: So I was like fuck, something is wrong with this cat. I don’t know what to do. So I lock the cat in the bathroom. I go take care of the crying baby. Meanwhile, I’m calling the vet. I end up getting a 10:30 appointment for the vet, which by the way is right in the middle of nap time.

Shanna Micko: Of course.

Laura Birek: I was like, shit, what am I going to do? Thankfully, Corey was like, “Why don’t you call my mom?” I was like, “Good plan,” because normally I would just leave the baby with my husband. But my husband was so sick. He was getting dizzy every time he got out of bed. So I was like, that’s not going to work. Thankfully, my hero, Sherry, my mother-in-law came up from Long Beach. She’s about an hour away and saved the day and watched the baby while I took the cat to the vet, took my husband to the doctor, found out my husband had pneumonia.

Shanna Micko: Oh, no.

Laura Birek: When I was at the hospital, we got the news that the cat had broken his damn femur spontaneously, thankfully.

Shanna Micko: Oh my God.

Laura Birek: Then I was waiting for the vet to be like, “And we think we need to put him down.” We were both holding our breath for that and they were like, “And he just needs an expensive ass surgery.” I’m like, okay. All right. We’ll deal with that later.

Shanna Micko: At least he’ll survive. That’s good.

Laura Birek: Sherry watched the baby. When I came home, I nursed the baby. Then I went to the pharmacy to pick up Corey’s meds. Then I went to the pet store, because I had to set up a fucking giant kennel for the cat. The cat’s going to have to spend three weeks in a kennel in the living room, which now is where the pack n play changing station used to be.

Shanna Micko: You got to do what you got to do.

Laura Birek: It actually is exactly the same size, so it works out perfectly.

Shanna Micko: Oh, man.

Laura Birek: I was shuffling all over, had to pick the cat back up from the freaking vet office and basically it was an insanely long day and then I had not only the cat to deal with, figuring out how to take care of him, having to set up a 50 pound kennel in my living room while the baby wants to nurse and then my husband is uncontrollably shaking from the chills he has from his fever.

Shanna Micko: Oh, no.

Laura Birek: Anyway, it was something.

Shanna Micko: You were needed in so many ways and by so many creatures. You must have just felt like you were being pulled like taffy in so many directions.

Laura Birek: I really did. It was one of those things where triage really made sense. I was like, who needs me the most right this second? It’s hard to make that call, especially when the baby’s crying. The instinct is always the baby needs me right away. The baby’s number one. But really the baby was fine. I had to at some point put the baby in his little yes space that I set up thanks to your suggestion and he was not happy about being in there, but I was like, look, kid, you’re going to have to hang out there.

Shanna Micko: You’re safe.

Laura Birek: That was my Wednesday. I crashed at the end of that day.

Shanna Micko: I can only imagine, oh my God.

Laura Birek: I was physically spent, because you’re lugging the cat carrier. I’m lugging this giant kennel and then it’s just a pain in the butt. It doesn’t have much to do with being a mom except for being a mom makes everything more complicated. Like before I had the baby, this would’ve sucked, but it would’ve been fine. I would’ve left Corey at home. I would’ve actually gone to the vet appointment with the cat. What I did this time was dropped the cat off. I was like, see you later, cat. I’ll get a call from the vet when they know what’s going on with you.

Shanna Micko: Totally. Drop off vet appointments are the best now. I never used to do that and now when I found out my vet will do that, I’m just like, bye, dogs. See you. Enjoy getting your blood drawn for six hours.

Laura Birek: Yeah, I know. Before I would’ve been like, no, I want to make sure that it’s not a traumatic experience for my precious little fur babies and now I’m like, what time can I drop them off? How long can I leave them without you charging me a boarding fee?

Shanna Micko: That’s right. Ooh, free daycare.

Laura Birek: Anyway, that was Wednesday and now we’re at the end of the week and things are chilling out.

Shanna Micko: No one in the household caught Corey’s illness, right?

Laura Birek: Knock on wood, I don’t know if we’re totally out of the woods yet, but I think we’re fine and if it is pneumonia, it might not have been. It probably is bacterial because they gave him antibiotics. He seems to be starting to feel better. His fever broke. Thank God. Also, my mom was like, “You don’t have to keep him quarantined. You have what he has for sure.” I’m like, oh, well, nevermind. You’re contagious before you start showing symptoms of pretty much every virus. So she was like, “You’re either going to get it or you’re not. You don’t have to keep him hidden away.” I guess that was unnecessary, but he just needed to rest. So it didn’t matter. But anyway, maybe I’ll post a picture to Instagram of the poor, sad cat in his little kennel.

Shanna Micko: Oh, sweet thing.

Laura Birek: I know. He doesn’t know why he’s in pain. They gave us a bunch of buprenorphine, but it’s an opiate. So he’s high as a kite.

Shanna Micko: He’s on cloud nine in his own little cat hotel. He’s living his best life. I would not worry one second about that.

Laura Birek: And on a gabapentin for anxiety.

Shanna Micko: Perfect.

Laura Birek: He’s hopped up. Anyway, it’s just interesting being a mom really just adds this extra layer of just how to manage things that you don’t know until you’re in it.

Shanna Micko: Yes.

Laura Birek: You just don’t know.

Shanna Micko: It’s a challenging job full show.

Laura Birek: Then except for it doesn’t pay money, which would be nice for the expensive cat surgery. We have a surgical consult next week, so we’ll find out how much it’s going to cost.

Shanna Micko: Oh, God. Huh?

Laura Birek: By the way, this happened on my cat’s second birthday. It was his birthday.

Shanna Micko: Aww.

Laura Birek: Poor little Cal. He’s a sweetie.

Shanna Micko: He got too excited celebrating before you woke up and twisted his leg.

Laura Birek: Oh, buddy.

Shanna Micko: I’m glad the week is over and you lived through it.

Laura Birek: Thank you.

Shanna Micko: It sounds like you had some mom wins there big time that day.

Laura Birek: I soldiered through. I got it done.

Shanna Micko: Good for you.

Laura Birek: I’ll take the gold star.

Shanna Micko: You deserve it.

Laura Birek: Thanks. Should we take a quick break and come back with our special segment?

Shanna Micko: Yeah, let’s do it.

Laura Birek: Cool.

[Music]

Shanna Micko: We’re back and we have one of our favorite special segments, They Said What?! where we talk about the interesting, unusual, bonkers, offensive things that people have said to us in our parenting lives. Laura, I’m dying to know what you have. Lay it on us.

Laura Birek: All right. This one happened in the online ordering checkout line at JCPenney.

Shanna Micko: What?

Laura Birek: You know how you can order things online.

Shanna Micko: Yeah.

Laura Birek: The backstory of this is that JCPenney started selling shirts that I think are meant to be ironic, but they are a vintage looking t-shirt and it says, “Wheel of Fortune champion,” on it.

Shanna Micko: You have to get that.

Laura Birek: So for people who might not know, I am a Wheel of Fortune champion. No brag.

Shanna Micko: Said with such modesty.

Laura Birek: Actually, I’m in this Wheel of Fortune alumni group on Facebook and there’s a whole group of us who are getting these shirts and posting our photos. It’s stupid. 

But anyway, it was on sale for $7. So I was like, okay, I’m going to order it online. I’ll go pick it up. It’ll give us something to do with our day. When you have a baby, you’re looking for things to do to fill your day. I was like, we will go to the Glendale Galleria and we get this Wheel of Fortune champion shirt. I go to the sad little back area of JCPenney where they have the online order checkout and I’m in line and there’s a bunch of people in line, so I guess it’s a thing that people do and there was a guy in front of me, like middle aged guy, friendly and everyone’s making faces, smiling at my baby and being like, “What a cutie.” So this guy he’s like, “How old is he?” I was like, “He’s seven months old,” and he goes, “Seven months. Is he walking yet?” I was like, “No, I don’t think he’s supposed to be,” and he’s like, “Well, some babies walk at seven months,” and I was like, “Do they though?” But I’m trying to be polite. So I’m like, “Sure. Okay.” I think he was like, “I saw it on YouTube or something,” and I’m like, I don’t know. What do you say to someone, because it instantly of course made me feel like maybe my baby should be walking?

Shanna Micko: Why isn’t my seven month old walking? How dare he make you feel so insecure? He’s just some old, funny-duddy. He doesn’t know what’s what.

Laura Birek: It’s so funny because you will be shocked to hear he’s like, I don’t have kids.

Shanna Micko: Exactly.

Laura Birek: No kidding. He’s like, I have a bunch of nieces and nephews and I’m like, okay, it’s great. Then we have to make small talk, because we’re waiting in line. I don’t know how to recover from is your seven month old walking yet?

Shanna Micko: I guess you could just be like, yeah, he’s running marathons already.

Laura Birek: I should have. I wish I was better at lying.

Shanna Micko: It’s hard.

Laura Birek: I’d be like he started at four and a half months. It’s really precocious.

Shanna Micko: He came out of the womb walking like a deer.

Laura Birek: He also recites poetry. Anyway, I thought in the grand scheme of things it’s not a big deal, but I was just like, huh?

Shanna Micko: Yes, that’s funny.

Laura Birek: Yeah, all right. How about you? What has someone said to you recently?

Shanna Micko: So this is about my husband, Steve.

Laura Birek: Hi, Steve.

Shanna Micko: Steve the other day was about to give CeCe her formula as you know, because we’re in formula now and we warm up our milk right in the warmer, because she doesn’t like cold milk.

Laura Birek: She’s a fancy girl.

Shanna Micko: So Steve, I see him take the bottle and he holds it over his mouth and spritzes some formula on his tongue and I’m like, that’s interesting and my thought was I’ve never tasted formula before. I have no idea what it tastes like and then I remembered that he had told me he once tasted my breast milk back when Elle was a baby. I was like, “What tastes better: formula or breast milk?” He said, “It depends on the day. When breast milk is at its best, it’s much better.” Then I’m just like, “Wait, what? You’ve tasted my breast milk on multiple occasions?”

Laura Birek: Wow. He’s a connoisseur.

Shanna Micko: He is. He’s like, “Yeah, I always test it for warmth,” and he’s like, “Some days it’s bitter. Some days it’s really sweet.”

Laura Birek: Because he tasted it every day all this time.

Shanna Micko: I think so. I had no clue that so much of my bodily fluid was being ingested by my husband.

Laura Birek: Wow. That’s dedication.

Shanna Micko: It is dedication. I’m irked out by that kind of stuff. I’ve never tasted breast milk. I’ve never tasted formula even. I don’t know. I just feel weird and here he is. He’s like, if you have Brussels sprouts, it tastes like Brussels sprouts.

Laura Birek: Oh my God.

Shanna Micko: If you have too much garlic, it’s a little bitter. He doesn’t say those things, but that’s implied.

Laura Birek: It is implied for sure. That’s the subtext.

Shanna Micko: I’m like, “You should not be tasting what I had for dinner the day before.” It just made me feel real weird and then I asked him, “Do you mind if I share this story on the podcast?” He’s like, “Yeah, every husband has tasted breast milk multiple times. This is not going to be weird to anybody.” I’m like, “Is it?”

Laura Birek: I don’t know. I don’t think Corey has tried mine. He’s not home, so I can’t ask him. But I’m going to vote, no, because he’s also kind of irked out by stuff like that. He’s not picky about food. He’s an adventurous eater, but he’s also particular about it because if we go to brunch and he orders a lunch item as opposed to a breakfast item, he thinks it’s crazy to order a coffee with that.

Shanna Micko: I totally get that. No, 100% I am so with Corey on that. That’s weird. You need like an iced tea or a Diet Coke at that point or something.

Laura Birek: See, I will have a coffee with any meal. He’s just like, how can you order a hamburger and coffee? So I really doubt he’s tasting my breast milk on the rag.

Shanna Micko: If you do find out, you got to report back and let us know.

Laura Birek: I will for sure.

Shanna Micko: That’s mine. I don’t know. Do you have any others? Does anyone else anything odd to lately?

Laura Birek: I do actually have another one that was very memorable for me. All my “They Said Whats” I think involved me feeling awkward and not knowing how to respond and fighting the I-want-to-be-polite-to-strangers thing and not knowing how to respond. Okay. You know how I went to Portland recently? We talked about it on the podcast and so when we were in the Portland airport about to come home, of course, right before the plane was boarding, the baby decided to take a big old poop, which is his way, which I’m glad. It’s better than on the plane, right?

Shanna Micko: Yeah.

Laura Birek: So I went into the lady’s room in the airport to change him and they had one of those changing tables that was out in the hand washing area not in the private cell. I’m standing there changing his diaper and a custodian came in to start taking the trash out and stuff and she seemed pretty nice. She was also probably later middle age. She was probably in her late fifties and she was making, “What a cute baby. How old is he?” All that stuff. People usually ask how old, what’s his name, or boy or girl? He was getting his diaper changed, so that was obvious. But she asked, “Does he scream?”

Shanna Micko: What?

Laura Birek: I’m like, “No, not really. Actually, he’s fairly quiet.” She goes, “Oh, good. Some babies scream and their mother should really stop them.”

Shanna Micko: Whoa.

Laura Birek: I was just like, “Okay.”

Shanna Micko: That is weird.

Laura Birek: I don’t know how to participate in this random mom shaming and also I wanted to be like, tell me how you stop a seven month old from screaming and I think she meant not crying. That’s one thing. I think she meant the pterodactyl scream thing that they do.

Shanna Micko: She would have a lot of problems with my daughter, for sure.

Laura Birek: She would be judging you from afar for sure. But it was one of those things where it’s like you get a glimpse into other people’s prejudices and judgements and you’re just like, I don’t know how. In my mind 30 minutes later I was like, I should have been like, that’s a very judgmental thing to say. You can’t stop babies from screaming and you’re contributing to mom shame, but I said like, “Okay.” Real good comeback, Laura.

Shanna Micko: That’s what I do too though. You don’t want to engage with people sometimes. It’s just so awkward.

Laura Birek: Also, I’m changing him in public and the plane’s about to start boarding. One of the benefits of traveling with a baby is you get on early. They let you on with the early boarding. We totally missed that because of the poop and so I’m already missing that and she’s like, that baby should scream. Those mothers should stop their… Shut up, lady.

Shanna Micko: Should I take a sock and put them in the baby’s mouth?

Laura Birek: Just crush their joy.

Shanna Micko: That’s bizarre, man.

Laura Birek: People have opinions.

Shanna Micko: People do have opinions.

Laura Birek: All the time. So anyway, now I’ve shared two of my weird things people have said. Do you have another one for us?

Shanna Micko: Yeah, I have one. I mentioned earlier that I dropped my dogs off at the vet now, right? My dog Sasha has actually been really sick and so I dropped her off and then I went back to pick her up and so I went to pick Sasha up and I brought CeCe with me and I thought it would be a really quick pick up. I didn’t bring a bottle. It was kind of in the middle of nap time, so nothing was really working in CeCe’s favor as far as good mood. But I just figured I could do a quick pick up with Sasha. Turns out I was wrong. I had to do all this checking out and then I had to wait forever. There was such a long wait and so we were out in the lobby and she’s fussing and whining and so I’m just pacing back and forth along the front desk and this front desk check lady came over to engage with her and give her some entertainment and it was really nice. She came over. She’s like, “Hi, how are you doing?” CeCe loves people. So she perked up and that entertained her for about five minutes and the woman went back to her desk to do whatever she needed to do.

Laura Birek: Do her job that she’s paid for.

Shanna Micko: Yeah, not playing with babies and so CeCe starts whining a little bit again and the woman was like, “Oh, it’s okay. I used to work in a daycare. So I’m really used to cry babies.”

Laura Birek: Aww.

Shanna Micko: I was just like, cry baby? That is such a childish thing to call a baby that’s having a hard time.

Laura Birek: No, totally.

Shanna Micko: It really rubbed me the wrong way. It just is such a derogatory term to me.

Laura Birek: It’s implying that there’s some way the baby could not be like that way. That baby should be better behaved. It’s a fucking baby.

Shanna Micko: So I was taken aback a little and offended by that, because I would never ever label my baby as a cry baby and she was having a really hard time because of circumstances I put her in. I’m already sensitive.

Laura Birek: It’s not her fault that she’s hungry and tired.

Shanna Micko: Had to endure this lady’s face and hands. People just love to put their fingernails and hands all over your baby. So she endured that.

Laura Birek: Oh my God, so much touching.

Shanna Micko: There really is so much touching. I won’t tolerate face touching, but if they touch her belly and feet.

Laura Birek: I’m okay with women touching him for some reason. But I was in the mall recently, the Glendale Galleria, different trip, and some guy squeezed his little calf.

Shanna Micko: Ooh.

Laura Birek: I was instantly like, get the fuck away from my baby! I didn’t actually slap his hand, but I did walk away instantly. I don’t know what it is. I guess maybe because women seem safer, not from a jerk point of view. It’s just like, who are you, man, touching my baby? I don’t know. Is that the double standard? Yes? Do I care? No.

Shanna Micko: Anyways, I was taken aback and I did say this. I said, “Aren’t they all crybabies,” because really they all cry when they need stuff?

Laura Birek: It’s their way of communicating.

Shanna Micko: I’m like, “Aren’t they all?” She’s like, “Yeah, I guess.”

Laura Birek: So you snapped back. Shanna clapped back at that lady like I wish I could have.

Shanna Micko: I did in a pretty polite, passive aggressive tone.

Laura Birek: Of course, the most effective way.

Shanna Micko: The only way I know how is say it with a smile.

Laura Birek: I’m glad you stood up for yourself. That’s awesome.

Shanna Micko: Thanks.

Laura Birek: Did you eventually get the dog?

Shanna Micko: I eventually got the dog and we got home and she had her milk and she was fine. It was just rough circumstances, so she’s not a cry baby.

Laura Birek: She’s a perfect baby.

Shanna Micko: She’s my perfect little baby.

Laura Birek: She is.

Shanna Micko: Should we wrap it up? Do you have any more?

Laura Birek: No, that’s it for now. That’s it.

Shanna Micko: Me too. All right. Let’s wrap it up and come back with our BFPs and BFNs.

Laura Birek: Sounds good.

[Music]

Laura Birek: We close every episode with our big fat positives or big fat negatives of the week. Shanna, do you have a BFP or a BFN for us?

Shanna Micko: BFP.

Laura Birek: Yay.

Shanna Micko: So speaking of my perfect baby, is that what we just called her?

Laura Birek: She’s the perfect most perfectest little baby in the whole universe.

Shanna Micko: Yes, she’s been starting to do something real cute this week that I love and it’s just melting my heart. I discovered the other day, if I am in her area playing with her and I lie down on my side, like rest my head on a pillow. She eagerly crawls over to me, rolls over on her side and spoons me like a baby spoon.

Laura Birek: Oh my God, that’s so cute.

Shanna Micko: It’s so cute. It’s the best and she loves it and she just scooches her little butt back and she giggles.

Laura Birek: My brain released some dopamine or something just now I just feel warm and happy all over. So cute.

Shanna Micko: It’s so cute and so then when she’s doing this I kind of just started tickling her leg, not tickling, but just like kind of lightly scratching her leg in a little leg tickle and she stayed like that for like two minutes, which is huge for a baby to stay in one place. I could not believe it. She just soaked up. She almost lifted her other leg, like tickle my other leg and so I was just tickling her legs and we’ve been doing this repeatedly lately.

Laura Birek: That’s so cute.

Shanna Micko: So of course I tried very hard to recreate this.

Laura Birek: Of course.

Shanna Micko: I need a baby spoon.

Laura Birek: Now you got to bottle that.

Shanna Micko: Yes, it doesn’t always work. It depends on her mood, but holy shit, my first baby did not spoon me and indulge my leg tickles. No, this is wonderful.

Laura Birek: Oh, man. My guy, he’s a very snugly guy, but he moves so much. That’s actually my thing is this week.

Shanna Micko: What’s yours?

Laura Birek: It’s a BFN, Shanna, which is changing diapers at this stage in your life.

Shanna Micko: Oh God, I know. I can relate. I can only imagine yours must be worse, because he really is so mobile.

Laura Birek: Literally he never stops moving. Ever. Now, he’s just so good at rolling and he’s starting to army crawl and so you try to change his diaper, he instantly flips onto his stomach.

Shanna Micko: Oh, no.

Laura Birek: He instantly starts trying to army crawl off the table. So I’m like wrestling him to try to get him back on his back. Now, what I’ve kind of been doing is I’ll let him be on his stomach so I’ll try to keep him from army crawling by holding him back and I’ll put the butt of the diaper on. This is after you’ve taken the dirty diaper. Taking the dirty diaper off is very difficult. So I’m trying to keep him on his back. He’s usually twisting. His whole torso is twisted over, but I’ve managed to keep his like hips straight just to get the dirty diaper off. But the minute it’s off and his butt isn’t even clean usually, but he’ll like flip over. So I have to wipe his butt while he is on his stomach. Then I’ll slap the diaper on his butt and kind of wrap it between his legs and then flip him over to try to quickly get the straps on with his those little tabs. When I’m trying to take the diaper off, I’ll undo the little tabs and then he’ll be moving and wrestling so much that I’m trying to get the diaper out from under his butt and a couple times now the tabs have given him paper cuts basically on the little crease of his thigh. You know what I’m talking about? He’ll end up pinching it between his legs and when I pull it out, it slices and he doesn’t seem to care, but it’s makes me really sad. I’m trying to be more careful with that. But of course, there’s so much wrestling. Diaper changes are a struggle. I’ve been trying, like I sing a song. One day I sang Open Shut Them. I don’t know if you know that song.

Shanna Micko: Yeah.

Laura Birek: So I sang Open Shut Them in a really funny voice. I was like, “Open Shut Them!” He was really into that. That worked once and then the next time I tried to do it, he was like, I know this trick. I’m going to roll back over. Tried to have toys. I gave him another diaper to play with and he’s like, I can play with this other diaper on my stomach. He flips right over.

Shanna Micko: Oh, man.

Laura Birek: I don’t know if there’s anything to be done about it. I don’t know who knows, but for me to be you need to stay on your back.

Shanna Micko: It reminds me of a product that I’ve seen that I had never bought, but it is like a diaper changing thing. But I think it’s more for babies who reach down and play with their poopy diaper, but it maybe could work. Although it also sounds kind of cruel. It’s kind of like a diaper changing pad. You know how when we got our C-sections we had a big sheet separating our bottom half from our top half? This product has some kind of like plastic sheet or barrier from the top half to the bottom half, like a shield and then you can do your business down there while they do whatever they do up there. But I don’t know if that would stop him from rolling.

Laura Birek: I don’t know. Maybe it could be worth a try.

Shanna Micko: Maybe. You could look up to see.

Laura Birek: I need to buy a product for this because you also have to get it on him right.

Shanna Micko: Yeah, exactly. That’s a whole new host of problems.

Laura Birek: Oh, man. So I think this is just my life now.

Shanna Micko: It is. I have zero tips for you. I do all of the same things to distract CeCe and I’ve had a little bit better success just because she’s not quite as rolly and she gives into my tactics more often sounds like, so I’m sorry.

Laura Birek: It’s all right. This is what I asked for. Not just a little perfect little baby who does not let me change his diaper though. I will say it’s good that he’s not pooping as much these days. So at least there’s that.

Shanna Micko: True.

Laura Birek: Anyway, if our listeners have any solutions for me, I would love to hear them.

Shanna Micko: Yes, definitely. Please reach out. If anything you want to join any of our conversations. If you have a, They Said What, we love hearing those. We’ve heard some great ones from listeners. Definitely give us a shout out and share those. Laura, where can they reach us?

Laura Birek: We are on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at BFP Podcast. We also have a Facebook community group. Just search for Big Fat Positive community and request to join. It’s a closed group, so I have to add you. But I will add you right away and you can join in on all our great private conversations we’re having in the community group. We also have a website, bigfatpositivepodcast.com.

Shanna Micko: If you like the show, please consider rating or reviewing us wherever you listen to podcast and spread the word. If you know a pregnant person or a new parent, please let them know about BFP. Big Fat Positive is produced by Shanna Micko, Laura Birek and Steve Yager.

Laura Birek: Thanks for listening, everyone. We’ll see you next week.

Shanna Micko: Bye

Laura Birek: Bye.

[Music]