Ep. 53: Mom Confessions

[Music]

Laura Birek: Welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. This week we have our weekly check-ins, we have a new special segment called Mom Confessions, where we find out what’s really going on behind closed doors and we have our BFPs and BFNs of the week. Let’s get to it.

[Music]

Laura Birek: Hi, everyone. Welcome to episode 53. Hi, Shanna.

Shanna Micko: Hey.

Laura Birek: So this means that we’ve been doing this for a whole year.

Shanna Micko: Yeah, well, I think a year has 52 weeks, but I guess more than a year.

Laura Birek: That’s what I’m saying. We have a year behind us now. This is the beginning of a new year, right?

Shanna Micko: Whoooo. Mind blown.

Laura Birek: Where’s that mind blown emoji? So I want to know it’s been a year, what are you up to this week?

Shanna Micko: This particular week my baby is 25 weeks old and she is almost six months and holy crap, she has so much going on. It’s almost just like a door open and she’s like, I’m going to do all the things now.

Laura Birek: Oh, really?

Shanna Micko: Oh my God. First, she’s discovered her feet. I know she knew she had feet, but she’s really started playing with them and it’s so cute. There’s just something so cute about a baby numbing on their little toes.

Laura Birek: Totally.

Shanna Micko: You understand like the baby pose? What is it called?

Laura Birek: Happy baby pose.

Shanna Micko: Their feet are up. Their hands are holding their tiny little brick feet, because her feet look like little bricks. They’re just like the dimensions of them. Anyway, I’m rambling. So that’s really cute. She’s got that. She’s drooling a ton, so I really think teething is coming.

Laura Birek: Oh, yeah. It’s imminent.

Shanna Micko: I think it is and her mood is a little bit up and down too, so I think it’s making her a little bit cranky and she is so determined to move. I mentioned this last week, but all of a sudden she started planking. So she’s all over the yoga poses this week.

Laura Birek: I think that’s Pilates. Do you do planks in yoga?

Shanna Micko: Oh, yeah. Definitely.

Laura Birek: Maybe that’s why I hate yoga. I don’t know why. You do lots of planks and Pilates too, but I just hate them and I’m not good at them.

Shanna Micko: I’m terrible with them.

Laura Birek: Good for her though. How long does she hold these planks?

Shanna Micko: Like a minute or so. She just like pops up. Her arms are straight under her. She’s on her toes. Her entire torso is just like straight and flat and strong. I cannot do that.

Laura Birek: So she’s got that perfect alignment of the hips and the shoulders and you’re just like, how do you do it, kid?

Shanna Micko: Yeah, exactly. She’s got the flexibility of the happy baby pose, the strength of the plank pose. So I’m very jealous. I do no exercise anymore and I’m just like, wow, you’re getting your six pack girl just like my other daughter and the planking turns into her knees going under her and so I’m like, oh my God, crawling is imminent. This is exactly what my first daughter did: started with the planking and then hands and knees. I would say she’s probably got her practice for about I would guess maybe three or four weeks. I remember with Elle being super eager, like, oh my God, she’s going to crawl any day. I had my camera poised constantly to catch it on video of her first crawling and it took not forever, but like three or four weeks.

Laura Birek: Feels like forever in baby time.

Shanna Micko: It does. I’m going to give her time and let her do her thing, because think about it: she has to learn to coordinate all of those muscles that she’s never done this ever in her life before. So it’s a lot to learn.

Laura Birek: It really is. It’s amazing what they put together in such a short period of time. They go from being blobs that do nothing to walking in sometimes less than a year, but basically a year.

Shanna Micko: Yes.

Laura Birek: When have you learned something that monumental in less than a year?

Shanna Micko: Never.

Laura Birek: Just when you were a baby.

Shanna Micko: Yeah, it’s so incredible. She’s working really hard and part of her being so mobile right now is that diaper and outfit changes on the changing table have become, I don’t want to say nightmare, but so hard. She’s twisting, squirming, moving. I’m so terrified she’s going to fall off of the changing table. She just wants to move and groove. She does not want to sit still for me to like carefully apply the butt cream. I don’t know if you read Janet Lansbury’s book, but one of the first chapters she’s like, “The most beautiful diaper change I’ve ever seen was so slow and intentional,” and I love, love Janet Lansbury. So I’m in no way making fun of this and I’ve tried this. I did this when she was younger and just like, “Next I’m going to lift your legs. I’m going to slip the diaper under your butt.” Tell the baby everything you’re doing. It’s like, no, that shit goes out the window when your baby turns six months and all they want to do is crawl and you’re just wrestling them to freaking shove that thing under their ass.

Laura Birek: Very thoughtfully doing this as fast as possible so we can get you out of here.

Shanna Micko: Yeah, exactly. So it’s funny.

Laura Birek: It’s so cute.

Shanna Micko: It’s really cute. She’s really, really cute. It’s just wonderful to see her really expressing herself and moving and I’m really excited to see what’s going to be coming next in the next few weeks for her. That’s pretty much it. What about you?

Laura Birek: My baby is 21 weeks old. Okay. We have big news.

Shanna Micko: Ooh.

Laura Birek: We moved him into his own room into his crib.

Shanna Micko: Whoa.

Laura Birek: He is no longer in the SNOO.

Shanna Micko: Wow.

Laura Birek: Do you remember last week I said he was on weaning mode and his arms were out?

Shanna Micko: Yeah.

Laura Birek: I didn’t think it would come this fast. I actually thought we would room share till six months, because that’s when the SIDS risk really diminishes and I thought I kind of liked having him close. I think it was me more than anything that was sort of holding onto him being close, but I started to have this feeling that he just needed more space so he was doing that whale tail thing where he is flopping his feet down like crazy on the SNOO, because he was strapped down, he couldn’t roll over and that’s for safety reasons, right? He just seemed to be fussing a lot and moving a lot and I one day turned to Corey and I was like, “You know what? I think he needs his own space. I think he’s ready.” He would wake up when we would make noise in the middle of the night. I think we were waking each other up, so I finally told Corey that I think we should just do it. We should just see what happens and he was on board. I think he knew better than to suggest it on his own than to take let me take the lead on that one obviously, because I’m the one still breastfeeding in the middle of the night, so I’m the one who really has to be on board with it, and I think he was surprised by me suggesting it so soon. But I was like, you know what? I just had a sense that he needed his own space and so we did it and it went great.

Shanna Micko: Yay! So your instincts were probably spot on. The SNOO is kind of small. It’s perfect if your kid is strapped in, but once they want to move, it’s pretty narrow.

Laura Birek: He’s rolling really well now. That’s the other thing. I was like, the minute you put him down to play, he rolls onto his tummy. So I was like, I think he would love tummy sleeping if we could just get him into the crib. The first night was a little rough. He woke up a few extra times. Usually, he was waking up one or two times a night, only one time to feed, but he woke up I think three or four times that night and I was like, ooh, did I make the wrong decision? But really he just needed comfort. I think one time I just went in and put my hand on his chest and he fell right back asleep.

Shanna Micko: Aww.

Laura Birek: Then one time he rolled onto his tummy and he really didn’t like it.

Shanna Micko: Oh, no.

Laura Birek: So I did actually go roll him back. He knows how to roll both ways, but sometimes it’s like he forgets or doesn’t have the momentum or the strength to actually get himself back over or the willpower. But so I rolled him back over and he was happy, but that was just the first night. The second night he rolled onto his tummy and he was like, oh, this is better and he slept great. I couldn’t believe it. He still wakes up once a night around 2 to 3:00 a.m. to feed, which I’m fine with for now and I’m still nursing him to sleep. We haven’t gone full force.

Shanna Micko: One step at a time, mama.

Laura Birek: But I’m pretty impressed with him. I’m really proud of him. So that’s a big deal.

Shanna Micko: That’s so great. Well, I have a question about that unless you were going to change subjects.

Laura Birek: No, no, please.

Shanna Micko: I was wondering if you felt nervous about him sleeping on his tummy for the first time, because I remember when Elle , my first did that, Steve and I were both just like, oh my God, she’s on her stomach. We were so worried about it. I was wondering if you were.

Laura Birek: I was a little worried about it, but not too much because we have the Owlet. We have that little sock that monitors his heart rate and breathing. I think if I didn’t have that a), I don’t think I would’ve moved him into another room. I think it would’ve freaked me out too much still and I think I would’ve also been super worried about him sleeping on his tummy, because they’re so still. Even with the really high def monitor we have, you can’t really see him breathing and I’m just like, I don’t know what I would do without this little sock. I know for some people I think it increases their anxiety. For me, I love it. So I think I talked about it on a previous episode as one of my BFPs. I love being able to just glance at it and be like, okay and know that in the middle of the night it will alarm if anything goes wrong, it’s just peace of mind for me. So that’s really helped with the transition to the crib I have to say.

Shanna Micko: Good. I do know that the sleep experts say that once a baby can roll over on their own, it’s fine to let them roll over and sleep on their stomach.

Laura Birek: Yes.

Shanna Micko: It’s so drilled in our head back is best and so we put our baby on the back and then as soon as they roll over at least for me, I was like, what are you doing? But apparently that’s okay once they’re able to do that.

Laura Birek: They have enough head control that they will move their head if they’re buried in a weird way. That was exciting.

Shanna Micko: Cool.

Laura Birek: That’s in baby world. I do have some rest of the world stuff. The first thing is Shanna, we finished a script.

Shanna Micko: We did.

Laura Birek: I just want to pat ourselves on the back there. Shanna and I, for people who are new to the podcast, we are writing partners. We are trying to write TV scripts and we’ve been a little, is distracted the right word?

Shanna Micko: Sure. We’ll go with that or maybe overwhelmed.

Laura Birek: Overwhelmed by pregnancy and childbirth and we had a script that we’ve been wanting to finish for a really long time and there was this fellowship application that was coming up. I think I texted you in the middle of the night one night and was like, “Why don’t we just try to do this?” You were like, “On board for it. Let’s do it.”

Shanna Micko: Nothing motivates us like deadlines, girl.

Laura Birek: Oh my God, we’re both obliges.

Shanna Micko: Love it.

Laura Birek: We’re like external accountability. That’s why having a writing partner is great too. I have to say, Shanna, I had done it like a year ago and passed it over to Shanna.

Shanna Micko: You threw me under the bus for neglecting it for a year.

Laura Birek: It’s not your fault, because it’s not like I asked for it and I was really glad that you didn’t send it back to me, because I would not have had the energy or time to do it. No, once you picked it back up, you turned it around in like couple weeks I want to say.

Shanna Micko: Because writing is fun and awesome and it’s like one of my happy places and it’s just like the gym for me, honestly. If I neglect or stay away for too long, it’s hard to get back in. But once I’m in, I love it and I get kind of addicted and want to finish and enjoy it. So we just got back in.

Laura Birek: When you sent the script back, it was great. I just had a couple little notes that I fixed up and then we got the fellowship in right under the deadline I think, like hours before the deadline. I think honestly the fact that we were able to finish a project and take care of these kids and you know my baby doesn’t nap. So I had to do it all in the evening and continue getting the podcast done.

Shanna Micko: That’s right. I work and take care of the baby.

Laura Birek: Oh, yeah.

Shanna Micko: We are really parting ourselves on the back right now.

Laura Birek: So I just wanted to say that I’m proud of us for doing that, because other than the podcast, it’s the first really big creative thing we’ve been able to finish lately. I’m really happy with that. So that leads me to a very quick other note, which I just want to check in, because this is going to be ongoing, which is you know how I’ve talked about how our garage is getting converted so I can have an office so I can actually go back to work at some point? I just found out that the permits have finally been approved and demolition is starting next week.

Shanna Micko: Ooh. Nothing sounds worse for baby naps than demolition on your property.

Laura Birek: I’m very nervous about them jack-hammering out behind our house. It’s a detached garage, so it’s a little away and we do have dual paned windows, but oh God. Naps are going to continue to be a problem.

Shanna Micko: You’ll may be like, “Excuse me, sirs, can you please not jackhammer between 9 and 10:00 a.m. and 2 and 4?

Laura Birek: The thing is I’m just like, just get it done.

Shanna Micko: That’s true. As soon as it’s done, man, that’s going to be so great for you to have that extra space.

Laura Birek: It really is and I can maybe make some money again.

Shanna Micko: Yay!

Laura Birek: Except for it won’t apply, because we’ll get into this fellowship and I won’t need to go back to my old job.

Shanna Micko: Oh, yeah.

Laura Birek: Anyway, on that optimistic note, that’s all I’ve got to talk about. Should we take a break and move on to our special segment?

Shanna Micko: Let’s do it.

[Music]

Shanna Micko: We’re back and we have a brand new special segment for you that we call Mom Confessions and we’ve turned this into a game and Laura and I are each going to give each other one truth and one lie about something we’ve done recently and we have to guess which one is the true mom confession. Okay. Laura, you’re first. I’m dying to hear your truth and lie and I want to guess what’s what.

Laura Birek: Here’s the first one. I have eaten a large glob of guacamole straight off my baby’s head or I often spray my baby in the face with breast milk.

Shanna Micko: I’m just picturing like tongue out, a big, long cat lick of guacamole right off the head and I just so want that one to be true while spraying babies in faces with breast milk is funny. I feel like that’s very common. Let’s see. Which one do I think you’ve done? I’m going to go with the guacamole.

Laura Birek: Oh, not true. Although I would 100% do that. I just have not been presented with that opportunity yet. I’ve been very careful with my guacamole.

Shanna Micko: Well, I was thinking, especially with as much as your baby naps on you, I could see you doing a chip dip right over his head and then plop.

Laura Birek: I am not above it. It is just, because I haven’t had the opportunity. No, I do often spray my baby in the face with breast milk not intentionally.

Shanna Micko: From your boob, not from the bottle, right?

Laura Birek: Correct. He’ll be eating blah, blah, blah, like sucking on my boob and then he’ll pull off and kind of make a face or something or he just will get fussy occasionally and I’ll be like, am I out? Do we need to switch to the other side? I’ll do my trustee hand expression move and more times than not, it sprays a strong spray right into his face, which he doesn’t seem to care either. He’ll have droplets all over his face. I’ll just like rub it in and be like well, it’s supposed to be good for your skin.

Shanna Micko: Yeah, exactly.

Laura Birek: I’ve done it in public. That’s embarrassing. I’ve done it in Mommy & Me class and I’m like, oops, they are mine. So I guess I shouldn’t be anxious about my supply. I guess that’s where it comes down to. I’m anxious about my supply. I’m always like, oh God, what if it’s drying up? You know where I’m coming from? You always are worried, because you never know how much they’re getting.

Shanna Micko: Totally.

Laura Birek: I squeeze and then spray all over his face.

Shanna Micko: That’s part of the reason I was thinking that might have been the lie, because I do know that you’re anxious about your supply and blah, blah, blah. So I was like, well, maybe she doesn’t have enough, like guys are spurting out.

Laura Birek: I don’t have the crazy let down that I’ve seen on Instagram. 

Oh, I’ll have to post it. There are videos of like people with really strong letdowns and basically their baby will pull off, because it’s too much and their boobs are just without any expression or anything just spraying. So I think that’s actually somewhat common. I don’t have that problem, but so I have to actually do it. It’s probably worse, because I’m intentionally spraying my little baby boy in the face with breast milk and he’ll kind of squint.

Shanna Micko: That’s too cute. Well, next time try to aim for his mouth and maybe he’ll just get an extra sip.

Laura Birek: Good point. Wasting that precious breast milk. Okay. What’s your mom confession?

Shanna Micko: Don’t tell anyone.

Laura Birek: This is between us.

Shanna Micko: This is just between me and you. I sang and danced to a song from Moana in my underwear to entertain my baby or I left a romper on my baby, even though it had poop from her blowout on it, because I didn’t want to change her clothes.

Laura Birek: Can I ask follow up questions?

Shanna Micko: Sure.

Laura Birek: What song from Moana?

Shanna Micko: Moana make way, make way. 

                           Moana is time you knew.

Laura Birek: You should stop before we get sued.

Shanna Micko: Yeah, exactly.

Laura Birek: Tell me about the romper. What did it look like? Which one?

Shanna Micko: Well, it was a white romper with little blue anchors all over it and little pink ruffle cute ridges. So it’s not like the poop was inconspicuous on this thing.

Laura Birek: These are both very convincing. Are you sure you picked one truth, one lie, because I can see both of these being true? I’m just going to flip a coin and go with Moana, because I know Moana’s on at your house all the time.

Shanna Micko: All the time. I do know all the words, but no, it’s not true.

Laura Birek: What?

Shanna Micko: I definitely break into song and dance to entertain my baby. I have not done it in my underwear, which was part of this one.

Laura Birek: Technicality.

Shanna Micko: I don’t do an entire song, because you kind of get bored after a while. But I did leave a poopy romper on my baby.

Laura Birek: No, where were you? What was the situation?

Shanna Micko: I was at home.

Laura Birek: So there were clean rompers nearby.

Shanna Micko: Yes, but I mentioned earlier that changing clothes and diapers is such a challenge right now and she actually cries a ton when I change her clothes.

Laura Birek: Oh, bummer.

Shanna Micko: It just makes her so mad and I weigh the options and there wasn’t a ton of poop. You know what I mean? It was a little bit.

Laura Birek: Just a dab.

Shanna Micko: Like a few spots. I would normally change even a few spots. I really would, but I’m just like, oh, she’s screaming and crying and I’m imagining having to take her arms out and put another one on and I’m just like, oh my gosh, a few spots of poop on your back is fine.

Laura Birek: It’s fine. I think that’s okay.

Shanna Micko: So I left it on.

Laura Birek: I understand. We’ve all been there.

Shanna Micko: Yes, so I’m sorry, CeCe. Didn’t smell or anything, but there you have it. It’s all good, right?

Laura Birek: Yeah.

Shanna Micko: Okay. What do you got? You got another one for me?

Laura Birek: Yes, I do. True or false. First one, I let my baby have a sip of my coffee once or I let my baby have screen time.

Shanna Micko: Both. So evil. First of all, I’m picturing ice coffee because I can’t imagine a hot coffee would come near your baby and an ice coffee would come with a straw, which I could see being close to the baby’s mouth. Screen time, I’m picturing you specifically showing a program to the baby. You’re not talking about it’s on in the background while you’re feeding or while he’s napping on you, right?

Laura Birek: What I’m doing is intentionally showing him a screen. Not just a blank screen I should say.

Shanna Micko: Yes.

Laura Birek: That would probably be okay. Your child have a blank screen.

Shanna Micko: So enticing. I’m going to go with the coffee one.

Laura Birek: That is wrong. You are right about the ice coffee. First of all, I like ice coffee better right now, but also, I couldn’t have a cup of hot coffee if my life depended on it right now. I have so many abandoned, full cups of coffee that I’ve found around the house.

Shanna Micko: Oh gosh.

Laura Birek: So that’s true. But no, I’m surprised it hasn’t happened, because he’s always reaching for my cups constantly. My confession is I know screen time is bad, but we FaceTime with my dad a lot.

Shanna Micko: No, doesn’t the pediatric association say that’s the one screen time that’s allowed under two?

Laura Birek: I thought the World Health Organization just said even FaceTime is bad.

Shanna Micko: Well, it’s always changing before my eyes and I did not know that. I totally thought the last authority on this it was like FaceTime was okay.

Laura Birek: The World Health Organization just put out something. Was it like until they are three? It’s some crazy shit.

Shanna Micko: What?

Laura Birek: Yeah, it’s also like 000. I should say that it’s…

Shanna Micko: What does 000 mean?

Laura Birek: 000 amounts of screen time that you should have until they are 25 or something and that I think includes FaceTime, but otherwise he would never see his grandpapa, which is what we’re calling my dad. It’s like a really great technology and my dad gets to talk to him. So I don’t really feel guilty about that although sometimes I’m like, ooh, is this bad? I will say also he does end up watching TV when it’s on. So for example, when the NBA finals were on, I couldn’t ask my husband to watch it later. I could I guess. We don’t live in a big house, so it’s not like I could really go somewhere else with the baby and I didn’t want to. My husband’s home in the evening. We want to spend some family time together and it’s not like we sit him in front of the TV. We try to turn him, but he cranes his neck. I have a really funny picture. Actually, I’ll have to post of him craning his neck to try to see the television. I kind of cut my losses there. It’s a really weird way to say it. The line I draw is that I don’t put on anything intentionally for him other than FaceTime I guess. I don’t turn on a cartoon for him. But if he happens to catch glimpses of Jeopardy if it’s on or something, I’m like, what can you do? We live in a world of screens.

Shanna Micko: That’s the world we live in, the technology we have and it’s really hard when you have two kids, because Elle is three and a half and she gets TV time now on the weekends in the morning. If Steve is sleeping in, I am up with both of them. I want to be in the same room with her to interact with her and I also have CeCe and it’s just like, sorry, World Health Organization. She’s going to catch a couple glimpses of Sarah and Duck, which by the way is my absolute favorite small child program.

Laura Birek: Oh, really?

Shanna Micko: I love it. Yes, it used to be free on Netflix and now you have to buy it on Amazon, but I really think it’s worth it, because it’s slow and funny and adorable. That’s a side note.

Laura Birek: That’s a good tip for when my baby is 35 and he’s allowed to watch television.

Shanna Micko: Yeah, exactly. Him and his wife or husband or whatever at the time are going to enjoy that on Friday nights.

Laura Birek: Except for they won’t, because then they’ll have their own kids. They won’t be allowed hologram time in the future. No holograms till they are 25. Okay. So you have another one for me I hope.

Shanna Micko: I have another one. I let my baby hang out on the bathroom floor while I used the toilet. I yelled at a delivery person for ringing my doorbell and waking up my sleeping baby.

Laura Birek: Those are both highly plausible. Wow. Oh gosh, I happen to know that at your house, there is a sign on your doorbell that says, “Do not ring doorbell. Sleeping baby inside.”

Shanna Micko: Because I have the dogs and the doorbell and then the dogs go bonkers.

Laura Birek: However, you are not a big yeller. I don’t see you as a big yelling person. I do also know that your baby is a screecher and who might be going through a little bit of figuring out that mommy can walk away now and that freaks her out. So maybe the easiest solution is just to put her on the bathroom floor while you pee. Ooh, I’m going to go with the bathroom one.

Shanna Micko: Yeah.

Laura Birek: Great. Yay! I didn’t think you had it in you to yell at a delivery person.

Shanna Micko: I kind of love that that’s why you figured out that this one is true. It is true. I might seem inside like a boiling pot with a lid just bubbling. But I really don’t like to yell at people or strangers.

Laura Birek: You would be four stars.

Shanna Micko: Yes, not five. Four.

Laura Birek: Only an 18% tip.

Shanna Micko: That would be my skating review exactly. No, I have not done that, but I do have that sign and actually it works. I tell them to text me instead and they do. So far so good.

Laura Birek: That’s good. We just have a doorbell that plugs into the wall, so I just unplugged the whole thing.

Shanna Micko: Brilliant.

Laura Birek: I have had people out there ringing for a while though. Then I’ll notice I’ll get an alert on my nest being like, “There is someone in your front yard,” and I’m like, oh, shit. I just let someone sit there for a while. I’m like, whatever. Sleeping baby.

Shanna Micko: Exactly. That’s the top priority. The thing with our places, even if our doorbell did or didn’t work, they could still knock and that makes the dogs go wild and wake up the baby.

Laura Birek: Yes, those dogs. So you have a bathroom buddy though.

Shanna Micko: I actually haven’t done this in a while, but I did this with the first baby too I remember. It was actually when they were smaller and a little bit less mobile, just like you got to go and it’s like, oh my God, I don’t know what to do with the baby. It’s just like, okay, there’s a bathroom rug and just set them on the rug and do your business in the bathroom and I’ve always felt really embarrassed about that.

Laura Birek: Really?

Shanna Micko: I’ve never really told anybody about that. I don’t even think I’ve still told Steve that I did that.

Laura Birek: I think that is so common you don’t even know.

Shanna Micko: Good. I’m glad it is. Maybe more people will feel less embarrassed about it too.

Laura Birek: Well, this could have been a future mum confession, but I’m going to just give it up now, which is like, I will regularly pee if I have the baby in the baby carrier.

Shanna Micko: Yes.

Laura Birek: Is that bad?

Shanna Micko: No.

Laura Birek: Because you don’t want to unstrap and you can definitely maneuver around the baby.

Shanna Micko: Totally. Often I will go and just actually sit her on my knee while I’m peeing and do things one handed.

Laura Birek: That takes some skills.

Shanna Micko: I am skilled Laura at going to the bathroom. I’ve been doing it for 41 years.

Laura Birek: No, I’m just saying it’s skilled to add a baby to the mix.

Shanna Micko: I know. I think the thing about the floor that embarrasses me is that I’m not like a crazy filthy person or anything, but I don’t keep the tidiest house.

Laura Birek: Your house is perfectly tidy.

Shanna Micko: I’ve got dogs. These are not like clean baby blankets. It’s gross in a way.

Laura Birek: It’s helping her immune system. She’s fine. I think you should wear this mom confession proudly.

Shanna Micko: The mom who shits while her baby’s on the bathroom rug.

Laura Birek: Whatever. I’m like squeezing breast milk into my baby’s eyes. We’re both a mess.

Shanna Micko: We both win mom of the year awards.

Laura Birek: We do. Wait, how can we both be mom of the year?

Shanna Micko: Because there’s two awards for that position.

Laura Birek: Of course, and all of you listening.

Shanna Micko: All of our listeners.

Laura Birek: Yes, everyone wins mom of the year.

Shanna Micko: That’s all I’ve got. What about you?

Laura Birek: I’m out of confessions for today. I think we need to take a break.

Shanna Micko: All right. Let’s move on.

[Music]

Laura Birek: Okay. So we wrap up our show every week with our big fat positives or big fat negatives. Shanna, do you have a BFP or a BFN for us this week?

Shanna Micko: I have a BFN.

Laura Birek: What is it?

Shanna Micko: I don’t know if you’ve experienced this yet as a mom. I really hate it when I’ve parked somewhere, gone into the store or whatever and I come back and someone has parked so close next to my car, but I can’t get the door open and get the car seat in. I can’t get the baby in.

Laura Birek: Yeah, fuck those people.

Shanna Micko: Oh my God.

Laura Birek: I am not mincing words. Those people can go straight to hell.

Shanna Micko: I lose my shit over this. I’m like, what do I do. The last time this recently happened that spurred this is luckily there was enough space on the other side. I had to bring that little carrier thing over to the other side, crawl in with it, click it in. But if not, what do you do? You just wait for that asshole to come out and move so you can get in, I guess. So that’s super-duper annoying and if you’re with your partner or a friend or whatever, they can stand outside of the car while you pull the car out and make enough room. But if you’re by yourself, you’re really screwed.

Laura Birek: Because what are you supposed to do? Park the stroller and move the car?

Shanna Micko: In the parking lot just where you want to leave your baby, right?

Laura Birek: Terrible.

Shanna Micko: I know. It makes me so mad and then my other pet peeve that this reminds me of is I cannot stand it anymore when people wait for my parking spot in the parking lot. They’re in their car and they put on their blinker and they see me loading up all my Target stuff, my three year old, my infant. I’m like girl, you know this is going to take like eight to nine minutes minimum and don’t rush me, because I’m a people pleaser. I start rushing and feeling like, oh my God, I feel so bad. I’m taking the spot for so long and I resent that. I just want as much time as I want in my parking spot to do what I need to do.

Laura Birek: I’m going to say you need to work on letting that go, because those people see you with your two kids and they should know better. I’m a person who will wait for a parking spot, but if I see that a person has kids or a lot of groceries, I know better.

Shanna Micko: Right?

Laura Birek: There are the people who get into their car unencumbered and then sit there for like five minutes looking at their phone and then I’m like, come on, guy. There’s no other spots, but so I feel like you’ve got to borrow some of my righteous indignation about this and just be like, yeah, you’re going to wait as long as you need to wait, because I’ve got kids. I feel like in your part of town, there’s a whole lot of parking spots.

Shanna Micko: This is true. It doesn’t happen so much up here. If I go to the Annenberg Beach House or something, I know those spots are in hot demand and I get it, but still I can’t help feel this pressure like, I need to rush things and I don’t want to rush tightening my babies into their seats and stuff. I just want to take my time and be like, this is my spot until I’m gone.

Laura Birek: Which I think you should. Next time just be like, this is my spot. It’s my spot. It’s my spot.

Shanna Micko: Yes, exactly. So I feel better having vented all of that thing.

Laura Birek: Good.

Shanna Micko: Thank you. Woo-hoo. What about you? What have you got this week?

Laura Birek: I have a BFP.

Shanna Micko: Okay.

Laura Birek: Yay! So this is thematic, because this has to do with the script that we finished, but my BFP are leggings, which is a theme in our script.

Shanna Micko: Awesome. Tell me about them.

Laura Birek: That’s all we’ll say about it. Actually, specifically I’m talking about these one type of leggings are actually jeggings, jean leggings, that my stepmom sent me unprompted.

Shanna Micko: Your step mom sends you the best stuff unprompted. I love her.

Laura Birek: She does and she’s very good at shopping. She knows my size. She knows what looks good on me. She’s just very good at shopping and she also had two boys. So I think when I came along, we all sort of became a blended family when I was a teenager, she was like, suddenly, someone to shop for.

Shanna Micko: Aww.

Laura Birek: I’ve thankfully been the recipient of so much good shopping. Now, she kind of spreads it out because my two stepbrothers are married and then I have three little nieces. But I still occasionally get some fun packages and I was like, what is this? She sent a cute little outfit for the baby, but then there were two pairs of identical jeggings and I was sort of like, what is this? But of course, true to form. They were perfect. They fit perfectly. They are from a brand called Liverpool, which I had never heard of. But they’re made of a nice sturdy fabric. You know how some leggings are like really thin?

Shanna Micko: You bend over and you can just see the whole butt.

Laura Birek: Yeah, exactly. It’s not like that at all. They’re great. They look nice. They look like jeans. So I could actually wear them out and not feel like I’m some kind of shlub, because I wear leggings every day. Let’s be real. Some form of leggings and some of them are more dressy than others.

Shanna Micko: Those dressy sequence.

Laura Birek: The dressy leggings. No, but you know what I mean? Some of them look really like, she’s not trying at all and some of them look more put together and these ones make me look way more put together like I’m almost wearing real jeans.

Shanna Micko: Cool.

Laura Birek: I’m a very big fan. I was like, why is she sending me two? But I’m like, of course, she’s sending me two, because I need to wear them every day and I’m spilling stuff. Back in the day, I was like, you don’t wash your jeans every day every time you wear them. But now I’m like, spit up and baby food and breast milk and all this stuff all over it. So I’m like, okay, need to wash these pretty much every day.

Shanna Micko: Why didn’t she send you seven?

Laura Birek: Good question. That’s a lot to ask for. So the next time I see you, I’ll wear the jegging so you can see them. But they’re the Liverpool brand. I don’t know the specific type, but they are on Amazon and in other places. So we’ll post links on our website.

Shanna Micko: I’m going to get my own toot sweet.

Laura Birek: Wait, what did you say: toot sweet?

Shanna Micko: Isn’t that the same?

Laura Birek: I’ve never heard that.

Shanna Micko: I’m going to get my own toot sweet, like real fast, real quick.

Laura Birek: I’ve literally never heard that in my life.

Shanna Micko: I grew up in Arizona. We’re our own breed.

Laura Birek: Wow. So maybe we should find out from listeners what weird sayings they have in their part of the country or the world. Please write in. We are on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook at BFP Podcast. We also have a Facebook community group you should join. Just search for Big Fat Positive community on Facebook and you can also go to our website, bigfatpositivepodcast.com where you can get in touch with us and you can also see our show notes and all of our past episodes.

Shanna Micko: If you love the show, we would love it if you would rate and review us on whatever platform you listen to podcasts and spread the word. If you know a friend, relative, coworker, whatever who’s pregnant or a new mom, tell them about our show. That would be awesome.

Laura Birek: That would be amazing.

Shanna Micko: Big Fat Positive is produced by Shanna Micko, Laura Birek and Steve Yager.

Laura Birek: Thanks for listening, everyone. We’ll see you next week.

Shanna Micko: Bye.

Laura Birek: Bye.

[Music]