When Is It Time to Let Kids Quit an Activity? – Ep. 411

Episode Transcript

Search this transcript

Shanna

Hi, welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. On this week's episode, we have our weekly check-ins. We have our special segment, Loose Ends, where we give updates about separation anxiety, new schools, and more. And we wrap it up with our Big Fat positives or Big Fat negatives of the week. Let's get started.

Hi, everyone. Welcome to episode 411. Hi, Laura. Hi, Shanna. Hi. Why don't you kick off our first segment with your weekly check-ins.

Laura

All right. Well, I'm going to give you the 411 on this episode 411. Oh, nice.

So actually, I know this is an audio-only podcast, but I am going to open it with a photo that I'm going to send to you, and you can describe it for our listeners.

Shanna

Aw, this is a photo of Augie in his Little League uniform, white pants, red belt, red jersey, posing with his baseball bat, his black cap, staring at the camera. I'm assuming this is picture day for Little League and you have received the wallet size photos.

Laura

So cute. Oh, we received the little package. We have like a little cardboard display and we have the team picture and we got all, you know, I think Corey signed up for like the cheapest package, you know, but we got our little wallet sizes or whatever. And it's really convenient because we got them, you know, right after he officially quit baseball.

Shanna

I was gonna ask how Little League was going. I guess it's not.

Laura

It's going for someone else, but not us.

Shanna

How far into the season did you guys make it?

Laura

I don't even know, like a month? like maybe not even a whole month of games. I've mentioned this before. It wasn't my circus, right? Like I kind of washed my hands of the situation. I was like, look, you know, Augie said he wanted to try baseball. Corey was like, okay, let's go all in and do full on little league instead of starting with like T-ball or something, right? You know, I was like, or rec center. I was like, okay, goes through all the hoops of signing them up. We, you know, spend probably a decent amount of money on it, I imagine. I don't know. Cause again, I'm not involved. I'm like, this is not my problem.

Shanna

But a lot of equipment was purchased by your family, right?

Laura

Well, you know, the backpack, the helmet, the baseball bat, the uniforms, right? Like all that stuff was definitely purchased. And over the last few weeks, it's just become more and more difficult to get him to practice. And as I've griped about before, it's a lot of practice, right? It's like three days a week. of showing up at the baseball fields for like an hour and a half each time or something like that, right? And a lot of it's in the evening. There was a Wednesday night practice that didn't until like 7.45, you know, and the kid is usually bathed and in bed reading at 7.30, you know?

Shanna

Yeah.

Laura

And so all that was really stressful and hard for all of us. And I think it really took a toll on Augie too. And after we came back from spring break, I mean, the shit really just hit the fan. It was just like trying to get him to go to practice was impossible. I mean, it was actually impossible. Corey gave up. Like there was one day, oh, it was actually a game day where Augie really didn't want to go when we finally get him into his, I always called a costume, his uniform.

And we could not find the red belt that went with the uniform. We had a black belt, which their colors were red, black, and white. So it was OK, right? Or red, black, and gray, I guess. And it would have been OK. No one was going to kick him off the field for having a black belt instead of a red belt. But he was like embarrassed and upset. And it was this whole thing. Finally, Corey gets him to the car, gets him to the game about 10 minutes late. And about 20 minutes later, I see them pulling back in the garage. And I was like, what happened? And he's like, we got there. We walked, stepped out of the car. He started having a massive meltdown about the belt. And I just turned around and brought him home. So there was that incident and then it just became impossible to get him out of the house.

I mean, he's getting too big to really throw him over our shoulder and bring him, you know what I mean? And that kind of defeats the purpose.

Shanna

Is he just being obstinate or is he melting down? Like what is his reaction that makes it feel impossible?

Laura

melting down, like screaming, like not crying, but just be like, I'm not gonna go, you can't make me. And again, I would have my own approaches to it. I don't know if I would have done it any differently, but if it was me who is sort of in charge of getting him to practice, I would have tried all my Janet Lansbury and my ADHD dude and all that stuff, you know, trying to get him to go. But I just kind of stepped back and was like, you know what, like I'm going to let Corey make a decision on this and approach it the way he wants to approach it. And yeah, eventually what happened was this week, Corey was just like, okay, fine, we're withdrawing like I'm messaging the team and telling them, you know, sorry, but we are dropping out and that's it because I'm just not fighting this fight anymore.

Shanna

It's exhausting. It is hard when your kids are resisting going to the activities. I mean, you know that I've been there at times like tumbling, gymnastics, all that stuff. It's like, oh, you got to decide at one point whether to push through or just throw in the towel. So, I mean, I get it and I empathize for sure.

Laura

Yeah, I mean I just honestly think that baseball is not the right fit for Augie and his personality and his ADHD and all that stuff. I think we need to find something else. And honestly it's been kind of a relief this week not having to go to the baseball practices, not having to worry about that schedule, just having like more free time. I mean, what happened instead of baseball practice this week is I picked up the boys after school every day and took them to a park with their scooter and their bike every single day. Yeah. And every time we do that, Augie ends up finding some other kids to play with. And this one day this week, we went to a different park that we usually go to in Glendale, and he actually ran into a bunch of his friends from his school. And, you know, some kids he knew and some kids he didn't know. But he and Sebastian ended up like joining basically a gang of kids.

It's on bikes and scooters. And they were all like playing some imaginary game running around the park with each other. And I was like, oh my gosh, it's like the 90s. You know what I mean?

Shanna

Yes. Yeah. That's a nostalgic feeling to me. Like that's what I did all the time around my neighborhood as a kid.

Laura

Exactly. Exactly. And so I'm like, honestly, I think this is kind of what he needs. It's not structured organized sports right now. He needs. finding other kids his age to bike around with in the outdoors. I mean, it's been beautiful out and just get that energy out and have fun and use his imagination. And yeah, so that is where we're at, where we're reverting to the 90s and baseball is over. But thank goodness we'll always have. baseball pictures.

Shanna

You know, always have the memory. Well, maybe when he expresses interest in organized sports again, Cory and you can be like, hey, maybe we'll do, we'll like start low key this time. And just like a once a week thing at the rec center, the Y or something a lot lower pressure. And maybe that could be a easier introduction to something like that.

Laura

Yeah, I think Corey has admitted that he's learned a lesson here. You know what I mean? Like, I don't think he realized how involved Lil League was, you know? And he's like, okay, this is like point taken. We will definitely set the bar a little lower next time. But yeah, that was our week. Shanna, what have you been up to this week?

Shanna

I got the chance to volunteer at CECE's Spring Field Trip.

Laura

Ooh, your favorite thing. You love being a volunteer.

Shanna

I do. And I did not get drawn in the lottery last semester for the field trip. And so the teacher was like, Shanna is going to be on the list for next semester. I was like, sweet. So I got this email a couple of weeks ago that was like, all right, our Spring Field Trip is coming up. It's an in-school field trip. The science show is coming. And I was like, what? So they didn't go anywhere. The trip was walking outside of their classroom into another area of the building and having a lady come and show them science stuff. So I was like, what? I feel like I got the short end of the stick here, but okay.

Laura

Oh my God. Okay. So that's a little bit misleading. I feel like field trip, technically, were you in an actual field? Like, did you go out to the soccer field, perhaps? Sure didn't, sure didn't.

So who's just a lie, a straight up lie? Oh my word.

Shanna

Yes, but you know, I'm still always eager to be able to help. So when the day came, I showed up and I find out that the field trip is literally about 20 steps outside of their classroom, the way their school's structured. The way they're building is structured is that there's two hallways of classrooms and then this long kind of like middle section that they call like a collaborative space. It's like empty but you can put chairs in there and do all kinds of stuff. So it's really wide and then there's two hallways on either side and then a big long collaborative space. Does that make sense? Okay, sure. I can kind of envision it. So that collaborative space is where the field trip was. And I quickly realized there's no accordion doors or curtains or anything that you can pull to close off this section. It's just wide open. So there's kids walking down hallways on either side of this space.

And I was like, oh, this is going to be interesting. And then I meet the instructor of the science show. She's so funny. She had just done a science show with another group of kids, and this woman was a frazzled. She was just like... Oh my god, okay, I'm so glad you're here. Parents, I mean, this is not gonna make sense, but okay, so one of you gotta do the bubbles, one of you gotta do this, and oh my gosh, okay, guys, quiet, like just like all over the place. I was just trying to be like a steady presence for this poor lady who was so frazzled by teaching these kids science in the middle of the chaos.

Laura

Is this like a thing she does all the time? Like she goes to schools and does science presentations?

Shanna

Yeah, she does. In fact, she was sharing with us at the end, just us parents after all the kids were gone. She was sharing that she's been doing this for like 30 years and she's like, I am too old for this. Like I need to quit this base.

That's basically what she was saying. She was really cool, though. You know, she was just kind of quirky, like fun, and it was just such a funny, funny presence. But yeah, yeah, she's been doing it for a while, and I think maybe she's just over it.

Laura

I'm envisioning Ms. Frizzle. Is that the lady from the Magic School Bus? Yes, exactly. The red-headed quirky teacher from the Magic School Bus.

Shanna

Yes, yes. Just imagine Ms. Frizzle, like, 30 years later into a teaching career.

Laura

She's like, they've broken me. These children have broken my spirit.

Shanna

There's no shade on this woman. Her presentation was great. But anyway, so the kids file in and there's like three classes of first graders combined, right? So there's like 80 children.

Laura

That's a lot of six and seven year olds. Yeah.

Shanna

six and seven year olds sitting on the floor in this space, right? That's not soundproof, nothing. So by the time this presentation started, I was in sensory overload with all the noise, all the distractions, trying to focus on this lady's presentation. I didn't have to help quite yet. She had told us parents to just sit and enjoy the show, and then she would need our help at the end of the show. So I was like, okay, that's great. I'll enjoy. And she really did do some cool things with like sound vibration and electric current and very, very fun stuff. But the end was the best because that's when the kids got to really be hands on with stuff. She broke up the kids into groups and they got to do experiments. And she needed a parent to be the bubble person. And I was like, I will be the bubble person. So I got to put 80 children into giant bubbles. Oh, that is very fun.

Laura

I'll show you a photo. I'm so glad there's photos. Speaking of character references, I feel like when you said like, I was like, I want to do bubbles. I'm imagining Tracy Flick from election.

Shanna

The degree ends up like me, me.

Yes.

Shanna

Yes, especially because the instructor set it up as being like the hardest and most challenging task she needed help with. She's like, it's not easy to get these kids into bubbles, especially if like the air conditioners on is like, we had so much trouble in the last show. I was like, I got it. I'm on it. So I took this very seriously and it was hard. at first to get the hang of it. Yeah. And then I knocked it out of the park, Laura.

Laura

Okay, let's see. Oh my gosh. So I am looking at a picture of Cece standing in the middle of a kiddie pool on top of a step stool. So she's suspended above a soapy bubble solution inside the kiddie pool. And you are behind her with a giant hoop that has pulled a giant bubble around her. She looks pleased, but I must say you look ecstatic. Like you look enthralled. You're like, this is the best moment of my life.

Shanna

Oh, it was good. Every time a bubble like that lasted more than like two seconds, I was like, yes, I think maybe it was a little much for everyone around me, but I was very pleased with myself.

Laura

I mean, it sounds like this is just as good as getting in a school bus with 80 first graders and having to go somewhere else. Like you got to do bubbles around every kid. That's right. Yeah. And the bubble lady. You also sent me a picture of the venue and I see what you're saying. Like it's this sort of almost like what I would call an indoor quad. Yeah. And I can see how distracting it is for kids. And also, like I would have been the kid walking by me like, what are they doing? You know, like I don't get to be in there. Also reminds me of Augie's old school that had no doors or walls. Everything was like this.

Shanna

Wow. Yes. Oh my gosh. I can't even imagine. So distracting.

Laura

Yeah. So distracting. But these kids look wrapped. Every single face is facing towards the instructor. That's really cool.

Shanna

Yeah. Yeah. It was very fun to see the experiments and watch the kids do their own. And all in all, it was a great experience. And I'm glad that I was able to go and be there and be the Bubble Lady. Bubble Lady is your new title, Shaun of the Bubble Lady. Nice. All right, that's it for me. Shall we move on to our special segment?

Laura

Yes, I think we should.

We are back in our special segment this week is Loose Ends where Shanna and I tie up some threads that we left hanging in previous episodes. And Shanna, we have not done this segment for like months and months and months and months. I think the last time we did this segment was before Halloween last year. So there's a lot to catch up on. Wow. Indeed. So let's get right to it. I am going to ask you the first question I have for you, which is, in episode 393, you talked about how you have discovered the fine hair subreddit and it has changed your life and you were getting super into how to care for and style and just enhance your hair texture, which is extremely fine hair. And yeah, I'm just curious if you've had any new revelations, how the hair care is going, like anything to share with the rest of us.

I'm sure there's a lot of people listening who also have fine hair and would like to know your wisdom.

Shanna

I don't remember exactly what I shared on that episode, but I would say my biggest takeaways from the fine hair subreddit are A, getting a blunt cut, right? With fine hair, it makes it seem heavier and thicker on the bottom. And so that's what I was doing. Unfortunately, last time I got my hair cut, I think my hairdresser forgot and I forgot. I don't know. It was kind of a rushed situation. And she gave me an older cut that I had before, which was like some long layers. And as soon as I got home, I was like, oh, I see now why a blunt cut is better because it just feels and looks different when it's got those layers. It doesn't feel as thick. And so I like that better. So I'm definitely going to make sure to go back to that. And then my favorite product that I found is a dry shampoo that actually works for me. I've never been able to use dry shampoos. People swear by them, right?

You don't have to wash your hair all the time. Just use a dry shampoo. I'm like, you don't understand. It like makes my hair heavy and greasy and it looks worse. I just can't. But I can because of this product, which I'm gonna share because I love it. The brand is K18 and it's called the Air Wash Dry Shampoo. For whatever reason, the consistency, the texture, everything about it just like works perfectly for my really fine hair. And I love it. Even if I just want to like add a little bit of texture to my hair, sometimes I'll spritz it on and it's great for that too, even if my hair is already clean. So that's my revelation and I have to share it with all of you.

Laura

My hair is not as fine as yours, but it's not exactly like the most voluminous. And so I do think I want to try this dry shampoo because I don't like having to wash my hair every day or even every other day. I'm like, come on, guys, we really have to do this. Yes. I don't know if it's a sensory thing or if it's because my shower takes like 10 freaking minutes to warm up, which sucks. That's a thing. That's on my to-do list is to try to get like a recirculating pump installed so that we can get our water to heat up faster. But either way, it's like, it's a commitment to take a shower.

Shanna

Yeah, sounds like it.

Laura

So I'm gonna look into that.

Shanna

Speaking of sensory issues, the other reason I've never liked dry shampoo is because I can like feel it on my head. I hate it. It feels like something to me and I just don't like that. But this one, I don't feel it. It just, it's, I don't know, it's great. So if anyone out there is looking for a new dry shampoo, I highly recommend this one. It's K18 Air Wash Dry Shampoo.

Laura

Cool. I'm gonna get some of that.

Shanna

All right, Laura, you're up. In episode 388, you had a big topic where you made the decision to switch your kids' schools in the middle of the school year. And we've heard a bit about how that's going here and there. But overall, how is it and how do you feel about that decision that you made?

Laura

Overall, I'm just so happy that we did it. I feel so relieved. At the time, I was second-guessing myself and I was so stressed about the process and I've been so stressed about getting Augie settled into school and figuring out which classrooms Sebastian should be in and all this stuff that it was hard to see the forest through the trees at some times. Now that I have a little bit of perspective and everyone's a little bit more settled, I'm just like so grateful to my past self for going through the stress of that because it's been just nine day for the kids. Oh, good. Unfortunately, I feel really bad for my friends who are still at the old school because it sounds like it's just devolving. Like every update, I don't know, maybe people are just giving me the bad updates, but everyone I know is pulling their kids out of there. Like all of Augie's best buds are leaving. Oh. Yeah.

And thankfully, you know, there was the LAUSD lottery recently. to find out what magnet schools you get into and all that stuff. And they just went through that. And thankfully, one of Augie's best buds got into his first choice. Well, his first choice. His parents' first choice. So he's going to be going to a different school next year. And same for another one of his friends. People are just kind of scattering to the wind. And there's just all kinds of wacky weird stuff going on at the school that just like, I don't want to get into it too much, but it's just like every time I hear about it, I'm just like, wow, like this seems like the slowest motion train wreck ever, you know, and I feel bad for the kids that are still there because, you know, I don't think they're getting the education they deserve. And at the same time, I am just so grateful we jumped ship.

When we did, you know that Corey and I trusted our gut on that and we're like, it's, it's, it's inconvenient. It's going to be a little hard for the kids or a lot hard for the kids. It's a leap into the unknown, but we need to get out stat, you know, like, and the fact that we trusted ourselves to do that, just, I'm so happy. So, yeah, I mean, Augie just has a better mood in general. It's so interesting. And this is before even he started meds or anything for his ADHD. It's just like his general demeanor really improved at the new school despite him saying like, oh, I miss my friends and all this stuff. He just he was less like sour, if that makes sense. Like and kind of less edgy, which is interesting. You know, he was kind of like turning into this kid who was like like pushing buttons and was really like priding himself in like

you know, trying to be interested in stuff that was like too old for him, you know, like Five Dights at Freddy's, you know, that sort of thing, right? Yeah. And I've noticed at this new school, whether it's just the different culture there or what, but he's not doing that anymore. He's kind of reverted to being a little kid again. You know, he's not a tiny, tiny kid, but like, you know, we got our first grader back who wasn't trying to be a fifth grader, you know.

Shanna

Interesting.

Laura

Yeah. And then, you know, just academically, he's doing great. He's suddenly reading, you know, like he wasn't reading at all. And it's now totally clicked for him. Um, I credit a lot of that to his wonderful teacher. And yeah. And some action, you know, we're just, it's just so nice to be back at the preschool. It feels like a warm hug, you know, and, um, and he's learning a lot. So yeah, it's, it's just been such an improvement. And I'm so glad we did it.

Shanna

Good. Good. Kudos to you again for making that hard decision and trusting your gut, and I'm so glad that it's working out well.

Laura

Me too. Okay. Next question for you. In episode 401, you mentioned that you were volunteering as the DJ for CECE's softball team. What what? I was like, hats off. Not me, but I'm glad you're doing it. I'm so curious how being the dead mouse of the 6U softball team is going.

Shanna

Oh, well, as I do, I took my role very seriously and tried to do it to the absolute best of my ability.

Laura

Is this on your resume is what I want to know?

Shanna

It really should be. It really should be. Yeah, I downloaded an app for DJing at sporting events, quickly found all of the deficiencies in the app and was like, this sucks. We need something better. I need to get that needle drop at the right time for all these songs. And so then Steve was like, oh, I bet I could make an app. So he's like trying to make a better app for... Oh my God. softball songs, but it was fun. It was really fun. I liked having the responsibility. Once everything was set up, it entailed me sitting at the game, paying attention to who is about to bat and hitting the button to like play their walk up, right? Like now batting number 67, CECE Yager, and then her little song. The first game, I was a nervous wreck, Laura. It was ridiculous.

I was like, oh my God, oh shoot, I hit it at the wrong time and like I missed a girl's walk-up song and I was like, my head was spinning with anxiety. I'm like, what is wrong with me? Like, calm. But all in all, it's great and fun. I play music between the innings, get everyone pumped up. I made a five-hour playlist of hype songs that are not explicit. You know, they're like kid-friendly-ish to play. And I like it too because it just helps focus me on the game. Sometimes when I'm at the games, of course I watch the games and my kids play, but also it's like, oh, you know, kind of like, oh, you know, you just get a little distracted. No, I don't do that because like on cue I have to be there to do all this stuff. So I'm really invested and it's just making me feel more involved and more excited about the team in the season. So I'd say overall it is going well.

Laura

You know, this reminds me of running sound in theater. Like it does keep you engaged, you know? You gotta make sure you hit your cues. I love that. Did I ever tell you or our audience what Augie's walk-up song was? No, what was it? I can't believe I didn't tell you guys this.

Shanna

I mean, I feel like maybe it's the JAWS theme or some instrumental orchestral soundtrack song. I don't know. What is it?

Laura

That actually would be a really good choice. Yeah, it would. It's not what he chose.

He chose Karma Police by radio.

By the way, it's a song I freaking love. It's like one of my favorite songs of all time. But I'm like, I don't know if this is hyping us up.

Shanna

Yeah. You know, when they're young, I don't think they fully get the concept. There were definitely some songs on our list. Even CeCe, you know, she changed her song throughout the season. And sometimes it was like, OK, all right, well, hey, whatever makes you happy, honey. And that's what matters.

Laura

It's so cute. So cute. It may have been a little subtle foreshadowing, though, that he was picking a depressing radio hit song. Maybe there were signs that he wasn't as into baseball as we thought.

Shanna

Perhaps. Perhaps. All right, next question. Episode 392, you talked about Sebastian being in an emotional and needy phase.

Laura

Is that still going on? Yeah, that was a lot. So yeah, I talked about how Sebastian had just gone to this point. Something had happened where he used to be super independent, perfectly happy with playing by himself. And then something happened and he wouldn't want to let me out of his sight. And You know in retrospect it was around the time that we switch schools for the kids but it started happening before then so I didn't think it was really related so I thought it was a little bit more of like a developmental thing I don't know but for whatever reason it was happening. And it was persisting and I had talked to Gia about it. I was like, what do I do? And she gave me some techniques to try to build up his tolerance for separation. And so we started using those techniques. And I'm happy to report that the other day, I went downstairs to grab something at bedtime.

And then I was like, oh my gosh, he's OK. He's OK with me leaving the room. You know, it had happened kind of slowly. I didn't even realize it. But like for the last couple weeks, he's been fine. If I need to like go grab something downstairs during bedtime or like he's back to playing by himself in the other room. And yeah, whatever it was, he's kind of come out of it. I mean, I'm not leaving the room at bedtime anymore. You know, like I'm not, I'm not like, okay. You're still awake, but I'm walking out like I'm still sitting there as they're falling asleep. But it is much better because I can be like, oh, you know, all your clean pajamas are in the dryer. I'll be right back. And like he's just like, OK, you know, back when I recorded that episode, he would have not just followed me downstairs, but been crying and like holding on to my leg the whole time. So yeah, it's so interesting.

Shanna

I didn't realize that. Yeah, he must have been in a phase. I'm so curious. Like, what makes kids feel that way and go through those little phases?

Laura

Not a clue. Not a clue. I mean, I honestly have no idea what changed. I mean, it must be developmental, right? Like, his brain is suddenly registering. There's scary things. It could also have been like this extended obsession with Halloween. Oh, maybe. Yeah. But whatever it is he has normalized a bit. So I'm really happy about that. It's making your lives a lot easier because he was like completely velcroed to us at all times for a while. And that was getting tiring. I love him. I love snuggling with him. I love being near him. But you know, sometimes you have to like walk away for a moment without being attached to a child. Yeah.

Shanna

100%.

Laura

Yeah, and it was very gradual. I didn't even notice exactly when it happened. So there's hope out there for you guys. Yeah.

Shanna

I'm going to say that probably is very reassuring for parents listening whose kids might be in a phase like that.

Laura

Yeah, and I'm sure people are listening being like, how, how, how did you do it? Like, and I just, the short version of Jesus advice was like, you need to start practicing like literal seconds away from him. Like you're basically at bedtime, you're like, oh, I'm going to grab something in the hallway. Like it's going to take zero seconds and, you know, just start building up that tolerance so that he can see that like mommy always comes back and I guess that's what we did. We just kept trying to sort of build that tolerance. And it's not like we were letting him cry. You know what I mean? Like we're not like sleep training him in that way. We were just slowly separating ourselves from him for longer periods of time. And yeah, now he's fine.

Shanna

So that makes sense. Yeah.

Laura

Awesome. OK, Sean, I have one more question for you. OK. The question is, just a few episodes ago, you told us a truly horrifying, at least for me, story about flossing and just launching a tooth cap across the room. That's at least how I remember it. I want to know, did you get it fixed? Like I'm envisioning you just like walking around with this exposed tooth and I'm like, ah! So please, please tell us your tooth is fixed.

Shanna

The day after this thing flew out, I made an appointment, but I couldn't be seen until Monday. So I did have to go through the weekend with a missing tooth. It's more like a half a tooth, right? Okay. It's not like it was down to the nerve or anything like that. But it was significant. And so when I went in Monday, she's like, oh, okay, yeah, let's see. I think we can probably just cement that back on and it probably is not going to be a big deal. Let me just pop it in here and she just kind of like after disinfecting it, she snapped it back into place and it kind of just snapped in perfectly. She's like, oh, that's going to be a good fit. Let me cement that. And I was like, that kind of hurts. Like it's kind of tight. And she's like, oh, well, you know what happened?

In those few days that you didn't have that in there, your teeth like got closer together, like closed in on that space and made it smaller.

Laura

Oh my gosh, just those few days?

Shanna

Yes. Just those few days, I was like, what? She's like, yeah. So it just needs to stretch out a little bit more. So I'm going to leave it popped in there. You keep it in for the next 24 hours, come back tomorrow. And if it's more comfortable, we'll cement it in. And I'm like, is it going to like fly out again?

She's like, just don't eat anything sticky or chewy and obviously don't floss. I'm like, all right, great. So I go home and I immediately eat some cubes of cheddar cheese, completely forgetting about this. And I'm chewing it. I know you hate teeth stuff. I am so sorry, but this is like the feeling like of this little tooth like coming out I forgot it was there all of a sudden. I've got a tooth in my mouth You know that nightmare of all your teeth crumbling. Yeah, kind of just like the sensation of like little crumbling So I'm like what dad and I pull it out. I'm like, okay, Shanna Just don't do that again. I popped it back in And it was fine. For the next 24 hours, I learned my lesson. It totally stretched out that opening again. It felt fine. And the next day, she glued it back on or cemented it back on, as she said. And so far, so good. It's been fine ever since. Yay.

Laura

Wow. All right. Who knew you could have just popped it back on in the first place?

Shanna

Yeah, I would have never thought. I was so surprised when she was just like, here, let me see.

Laura

Amazing.

Shanna

So amazing. I still need to get that floss or toothbrush thing that you do. But I need to save my pennies. Hello. I did not know it was going to be like $200.

Laura

It is not like a cheap, you know, it's it's an investment, but it's also you don't have to like buy toothbrushes and floss and all that stuff, you know, all the time.

Shanna

So true. True. And maybe my health care savings account would cover it. Like maybe they would reimburse me.

Laura

I bet it would. Yeah. There you go.

Shanna

That's motivating. All right. So I have one more for you as well.

Laura

Oh, kiddoke.

Shanna

In episode 395, you were griping about the PlayStation being brought out into your home by folks who shall remain unnamed.

Laura

Yes, who could it be?

Shanna

And it was like wreaking some havoc on your kids and causing dysregulation, if I remember. So how is that going? Is it still a fixture in your home or have you given it the boot or what?

Laura

Yeah. So if I recall, what happened was Corey and I were like, the iPad's out of control. We need to like really rain in the games they're playing because like we had kind of lost the plot about like what games they should be playing. We had like installed all these shitty games full of ads for them. Like, you know what I mean? Like once you open the floodgates, they just it was over. And so we were like, we need to rain this back in. So I had spent all this time like with both their iPads. And, you know, it's not easy to do this. Like you have to delete all the apps and like set up all the parental controls. And I did all of it like I did all of it and I was like so proud and they were the kids were mad at us because we took away the gay stupid ass games that they loved.

I'm sorry to sound judgmental but they were there were some really stupid games like these little humanoid guys like just having like or fire coming out of their hands just like blowing things up. I'm like, this is not, no, there's no benefits. So anyway, we had gotten to that point and where they were like, all right, fine. If we play iPad, I guess we have to play our educational games or like the games that have some kind of like puzzle aspect or some value to them, right? Right. And then it's winter break, I think, is when 395 was. And Corey was out of ideas of what to do with these long days where we're all at home and the PlayStation came out because he likes playing PlayStation. He was like, I'd love to play with Augie and maybe Smash it even. And then it was like...

You know, just the same thing as with the crappy games like Augie, Hyper Fixating, Everyone Mad when it was time to turn it off, them becoming obsessed with it. And so I was griping. And as I mentioned in the episode, by the way, it was a gripe that I had already griped to Cory about. It wasn't like going behind his back, griping like he knew. He knew I was upset. Yeah. Well, well, well, Shanna. A couple of weeks ago, I want to say maybe like three or four weeks ago, I heard it. I was upstairs working. I heard a commotion downstairs. Corey was losing his cool with the kids. And when I say losing his cool, like it's really that's that's the extent of it. It's like, instead of just being like totally cool, calm and collected, he was like, all right, if you're not going to behave, you know, like, you know, we're going to do something about it.

Like trying to introduce some kind of like consequence to whatever is happening. I don't even think he uses the word behave. You know what I mean? He was like, If we were trying to get them to do something basic, you know, like go to the bath or something and they were having meltdowns and it's because they had been playing the PlayStation. And so I come down the stairs just as I hear Corey being like, all right, the PlayStation is going away. It's going away. They're like, no. He's like, it's going away. And I was like, watching him pack up the plate. He's literally unplugging it, wrapping the cords, you know, like walking upstairs at the PlayStation. And the boys were like, no. Oh, no. And I was just like, thank goodness, this is happening. You know, like I'm like, I've been waiting for this moment.

Shanna

Wait, it's been out ever since Christmas break, even though you brought it to Corey.

Laura

I mean, it hasn't been played every day. You know what I mean? Like it would only be played on weekends, not even every weekend. But whenever they'd remember it existed, it would become a whole thing. You know what I mean? It would take up all this time and they'd get dysregulated. And so, but it was also not my like very similar to baseball. It's like, this is not my circus. You know what I mean? Like I'm letting Corey take the lead on this. And you know, I tell him, like, I think it's getting them more dysregulated than it's worth, blah, blah, blah. He finally came to that conclusion himself and packed it up. And so now it's in a box in Corey's closet in his office and it's gone. And I think it's for the best, to be honest.

Shanna

Yeah. Have you noticed any difference in the kid's behavior since then?

Laura

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it was a very one to one thing. It was like when the PlayStation was played, they became dysregulated. You know what I mean? Like, I mean, obviously they have other things they get dysregulated about, but at least it's not this like extremely high interest object, right? That they are like are obsessed with. I think it's just it was just too much for their little brains, basically. It's too engaging. It's like too interesting and we need to get them off of it. So, yep, PlayStation is gone for now. We're not anti-video game at all, but it's just not something that's fitting into our lives at the moment. Bye-bye, PlayStation. Bye. Sounds like it's for the best. Yeah. But yeah, that's it. And I think that's it for our segment.

Shanna

Yes, I think it is. Shall we move on to our BFPs and BFNs?

Laura

And listeners, I gotta admit, we recorded a few extra of these loose ends. And we went too long. We've been yapping, Shanna. We've been yapping a little longer. It's our way. to Yap. And there's some fun stuff in those. They had to get cut out for time. But we now have a great place to share our outtakes. So we are going to be sharing those extra loose ends on our Patreon.

Shanna

Yes, we are. So if you're not a member, head on over, support our show and get some fun extras, as well as ad-free episodes. Patreon.com slash BFP podcast.

We're back and we wrap up every episode with our big fat positives or big fat negatives of the week. Laura, what you got? I have a BFP.

Laura

Cool. What is it? My BFP is that we picked up the boys a little early from school on Friday so that we could drive down to Long Beach to go to a special event with Grandma Sherry. Oh, nice. We went to the Long Beach Grand Prix. Oh, was that car racing? Car racing, yes. Which is not exactly my genre. You know, it's not something I know anything about, but it's this big car race that goes on in Long Beach every year, and you know, they shut down like these major roads in Long Beach so that these cars can race on in, set up these huge, and set up all this like stadium seating, it's this big deal. Wait, they race on the roads of the city? Oh yeah. It's not like a track or something, like an arena? No, it's on the roads.

I don't know if you are familiar with like downtown Long Beach, but if you are, when you first drive down and you kind of go by where the Ferris wheel is and sort of like all the aquarium and stuff, it's that stretch of road, which I guess they it's easy to shut down because Korea always tells me like, oh, we shot an episode of CSI Miami here once. And he told the boys the story of the time when he was on set for an episode of CSI Miami where they shut that whole stretch down and blew up a car on that stretch of road. Oh my gosh. That's pretty cool. It is pretty cool. Anyway, so we went down to see the Grand Prix and because Sherry's local, she knew that they always have free tickets for Fridays. It's like a Friday, Saturday, Sunday thing. But if you find the coupon code, you can almost always get free tickets for the Friday. So she secured free tickets for us.

We went down there and we just had a fun evening. It was super loud. I wish we had brought headphones. And it was crowded, but it was definitely cool to bring the boys to just do something different. And one of my friends asked me, oh, how was the car races? Did you even know what was going on? And I was like, no, fast car go vroom. That's all I know. But that's all I needed to know. It was very impressive to see the fast cars go vroom vroom.

Shanna

Yes, I imagine it would be more exciting if you were sitting closer to the end of the racetrack as opposed to the beginning or the middle, so you could see who won. But is that where you were?

Laura

I didn't even understand. I don't know. I have no idea. We walked over. We definitely had the free ticket, so we didn't get the cool reserved seating. I didn't know where the beginning or the end was. What we were watching were trial or preliminary races, so they were just trying to get into the main race. I could not figure out what was going on, but it was like, okay, fast cars zooming by. That's what I'm seeing.

Shanna

All right, cool. I mean, I imagine these are like drag race cars, not just like your family Toyota Corolla versus the Honda Civic, right?

Laura

No, yeah. It wasn't like a Prius race. It was... I think there were some F1s, but we didn't get to see those. And then there were like, I don't know, souped up race cars. I don't know these things, Sean. There were a lot of people there. And it made me realize that there's so many subcultures that I know absolutely nothing about, because there's all these people there. They have like extensive notes. And like, you can tell that they really know what's going on and what the cars are doing and who the different drivers are. And I was just like, again, I was like, Oh, that car's pretty, you know, like, that one's going real fast, you know.

Shanna

That's cool. I love that about human beings, that there are these subcultures and like things that people get into. I mean, even like me and my family in the Savannah bananas, you know, it's like, okay, there's a funny funky baseball league out there that people love. It's so random, right? I guess car racing isn't random, but it feels different and outside of our sphere of knowledge. Yeah. Cool. Yeah, it was fun. Did the boys like it? Did they enjoy seeing the big cars or was it too loud for them?

Laura

It was a little loud and overwhelming. They liked watching it for like a couple minutes. And then what they really liked was that Grandma Sherry got them both Minecraft wallets with like 40 bucks in there. And so they were able to go and buy themselves some Hot Wheels from the massive Hot Wheels tent. Ooh, fun. So I think that was their favorite part. was that Grandma Sherry is so generous and they got their toys and yeah. But yeah, I think that combined with staying up late, it was all just a very fun time for them and yeah, thanks to Grandma Sherry for inviting us. Yay. But that's it for my BFP. Shanna, I'm curious if you have a BFP or a BFN this week.

Shanna

I have a BFP. Yay. My BFP is a veggie peeler. Not anyone in particular. Okay. Just a vegetable peeler because my kids love this tool. I don't know if I've talked about this before, but... Cece discovered it in the drawer again recently, and it makes vegetables so fun for her. Like, first of all, she enjoys peeling the skin off of cucumbers, right? She doesn't need the skin peeled off. Like, she will eat it. But when the veggie peeler is top of mind, she's like, oh, can I peel it? And she likes to do that. There's something, I don't know, kind of like soothing, I think, about and satisfying. about running a peeler along a vegetable and watching the peels come off. She gets excited when she gets a nice chunk off.

And the other thing that she really likes doing both my kids like is getting a carrot, a giant carrot, and peeling shreds and then eating those little ribbons of carrot just makes it a more interesting way to consume a vegetable. And Easter was recently, and I discovered them the other morning in the living room with the veggie peeler peeling little ribbons of chocolate off of their solid chocolate Easter bunny candy. That's funny. So it's a fun tool. I mean, if your kids are younger, you're going to want to supervise because it does have some sharp edges. My kids can do it on their own now. But if you're looking for just like a fun way to mix up eating, especially veggies or fruit or something like that.

Laura

Get yourself a veggie peeler. I am going to try this. Augie will like to help. I don't think it's going to convince him to eat a vegetable, but it might for Sebastian because I think he eats carrots at school. Like, I think it happens. He won't. He won't confirm or deny. Like, you know what I mean? He's just like, oh, yeah, they have carrots during snack time. But at home, he won't. He'll be like, I don't like carrots. I'm like, OK, whatever. He's like, I don't like carrots. I'm like, sure, OK, fine. I'm not going to push it. But I'm like, if he has a fun peeling tool, I think that this will convince him. I have like peeler trauma, not like actual trauma. I never got cut. But just because when I was a kid, I always liked to help my mom in the kitchen. But she had this like ancient all metal vegetable peeler that was dull as shit and like wouldn't do anything.

And I always thought I hated vegetable peelers until I like got my own for the first time and bought a brand new like oxo one. And I was like, oh, It works.

Shanna

I can totally picture that metal veggie peeler. I'm pretty sure I had one of those too. Like I just brought it from my mom's house to college and just like traveled with me forever, right? And it's all dull. Yeah, you got to get a nice one. I think we have an oxo as well. And it's great. It's actually works. It's easy.

Laura

Yeah, imagine that. Imagine that. Oh, amazing. All right. Well, I'm going to try that for sure.

Shanna

OK, sounds good. But that's it for me, and I do believe that's it for our show. Sure is. Listeners, if you would like to support our show and get ad-free episodes and some bonus content, become a Patreon supporter of the show. You can head over to patreon.com. podcast to sign up today and get your ad-free episodes. And if you have any loose ends questions that we didn't get to, reach out. We would love to hear what you think. Laura, where can everyone find us?

Laura

We're on all the social medias at BFP Podcast. We have a website, bigfappositivepodcast.com. And if you want to send us an email, just send it to contact at bigfappositivepodcast.com. Finally, if you want to join a very cool group of people on the internet, just search Facebook for BFP Community. It's a private group, so you have to request to join and answer the two membership questions. So we know you're not a robot, but once you do that, you'll be sent straight through to all the wonderful conversations we're having in there.

Shanna

Our show is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thanks for listening, everyone. Have a big, fat, positive week. Bye. Bye.

When Is It Time to Let Kids Quit an Activity? – Ep. 411

May 18, 2026

Listen Now:

This episode's sponsors:

Episode Transcript

When Is It Time to Let Kids Quit an Activity? – Ep. 411

May 18, 2026

Listen Now:

This episode's sponsors:

Whisker Litter-Robot

Once Upon a Dance

Episode Transcript