Embracing “Mom Mode” in Unusual Circumstances – Ep. 398

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Laura

Welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. This week, we have our weekly check-ins. We have our special segment, Mom Wins, where we talk about crises we overcame with chemistry and empathy, and we close with our BFPs and BFNs for the week. Let's get started. Hello, everyone, and welcome to episode 398 of Big Fat Positive. Hi, Shanna. Hi. Let's dive right in. Tell me about your check-in for this week.

Shanna

I feel like in my world, 2026 has finally begun because my kids finally went back to school after winter break. Yay, on Tuesday, by the way. But I'll talk about Monday later. But I want to check in on what all this brings up for me as a working mom or not working mom anymore, really, because like I mentioned, my job ended at the end of the year. And now that the kids are back in school, I'm left like being like, ah, okay, I got to figure out what's next for me, how to manage my time, how to figure out what I'm going to focus on. And I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with all of that.

Laura

I can understand that feeling. Okay. So, you know, when I quit my nine to five to go freelance, I didn't have kids yet. So I had like years to adjust to how that works before having kids. And then, of course, you have to adjust to it when you have kids. But I'm curious what your experience has been like.

Shanna

Well, there's a lot of stability with having a regular nine to five full-time job, obviously, even though it is stressful to manage both. So I'm starting to panic about this ability. I've got some severance pay that will last me a few months, but even still it's like, I know that that's going to run out at some point. I'm feeling panicked. And then on top of it, I have personal goals, too. Like you and I are trying to amp up the podcast and do some new and exciting things with the show, and that is going to take time and focus. I've got a couple personal projects that I really want to work on. And then, of course, it's complicated by the fact that I'm parenting and managing after-school activities and homework. And I feel like I'm standing in front of a tidal wave. And that is just like an open schedule, but yet there's so much I need to jam into it. I don't know. I'm just, I don't know.

I'm overwhelmed and I'm not sure what move to make.

Laura

It's tricky. I also feel like it's normal to need a fallow period after you've been working a office job and having to do that schedule with kids for so long. I feel like I know you and I know how much of a go-getter you are. And I can tell that you're like, okay, I have had four full days without without kids around me 24 seven, like I should have done all the things on my to-do list. Why haven't I? And something I've come to realize after many years of making my own schedule is that for me at least, I go through intensely productive periods and then fallow periods. And I've started to realize that like, I need to stop getting down on myself for those quiet times. Like, I'll be like, oh my God, I just did nothing all week. And I'm like, maybe there's a reason for that. Maybe that's like a recovery week. So I'm still struggling with that too.

But I feel like that's something that took me a long time to realize and that maybe I can gift that to you, that like this concept of like a fallow period where it's not that you're not doing anything, it's that you're like rebuilding the nutrients in your soil so you can grow.

Shanna

Right. I really appreciate that you said that because you know me so well, you hit the nail on the head with me being four days in and like, God damn it, I didn't accomplish enough and just wanting to accomplish a lot. already even when i don't have a lot of very specific goals in mind so it yeah maybe i just need to take this time to refocus like i know what we're focusing on with the podcast and that's great i can dive right into that but then when i think about like a job search. part of me is like, I don't know, do I want to find the same type of work I've been doing? Is there something different that exists out there that might be a better fit for me personally because of my creativity and my desire for flexibility with my kids? And that feels like an unknown. And that's scary. It's scary to step into the unknown anytime, but especially when you're a mom.

Laura

Oh, for sure. Because it's not so much that, you know, like when we were in our 20s and early 30s, we kind of had the luxury to pursue our dreams a little bit, right? Like, you know, if we ended up destitute, it was just on us, right? Like, or maybe our partners, right? But we didn't have these little children who depended on us. So it's a very different scenario these days. Yes. 100%. I totally feel you on this and I just want to let you know it's okay that you haven't gotten everything done after four days or even figured out.

Shanna

Yes. Yes. That is true. Yeah. And I guess there's not that much more to my check in this week just that figuring out your own personal work. career and personal development is hard enough while also doing that while being a mom. And I'm in the middle of it right now. And I'll keep you updated on how it all goes. Yes, please do. Thankfully, we have a venue for you to do check-ins. That's right. But what about you, Laura? What is your check-in for the week?

Laura

Well, we had a bit of a saga at Chuck E. Cheese this weekend I'd like to share.

Shanna

Oh, no. I don't mean to laugh, it's just, you know, the juxtaposition of saga and Chuck E Cheese is so darn funny.

Laura

It is always funny to think about, like, all the dramas that happen in the most whimsical places when you're a parent. Okay, and this actually happened at a new Chuck E Cheese for us. A distant Chuck E Cheese. Oh, okay. Okay, so here's what happened. On Saturday, I made plans to go over to the west side to visit my friend Carrie and her daughter who is Augie's age. Carrie is a friend from pre-kids and actually her husband is my friend from like middle school. So we've known each other a long, long time and it's so fun that we live more or less in the same city. She lives like all the way on the west side and I obviously live in Glendale. So for those of you who are not familiar with Los Angeles, you know, that's like a solid hour of driving. Mm-hmm. That's a road trip. It's a bit of a road trip. Thankfully my kids are really great in the car.

Maybe this is like a LA kid thing, but like I'm so impressed with them always whenever we have to go on these longer rides just to like go do something ostensibly in town, you know. air quotes and it takes like 30, 40 minutes in the car one way. They love just looking at the window, commenting on the street art and the graffiti. We've even found Augie's favorite street artist and we now spot it all over the place. What? Who's Augie's favorite street artist? Well, apparently his name is Pickle P because

P-I-C-C-L-E, and then just the letter P. And here, hold on, let me send you some pictures of Pickle P's work.

Shanna

Oh, please do, because I know two kids who would love to recognize some Pickle P around town.

Laura

We actually saw some Pickle P's on the way to you last time we came to see you, so they're around.

Shanna

Oh, cool. I see that hearts are a big motif here, but like heart people with long arms and legs. Interesting. I'm going to have to look out for this.

Laura

Yeah, it's really simple to spot. It's always like black and white or black and pink, and they sort of like somewhat sinister looking heart people. But anyway, now we've seen them all over town and Augie loves finding them and we're always like, it's a big old bee and we're all excited. So anyway, the point is they're great in the car, which is awesome. That was not the drama. Okay. So it was just me and the boys Corey had already done his duty like I think earlier in the morning he had taken the boys for hours and hours so it's like I will take them you can have your alone time you know Carrie and I are going to hang out and we'll figure out something to do. So we drove all the way down to her place and we were hanging out in their house for a little bit having fun. until the kids started getting, I don't know, they were getting kind of antsy, kind of bored.

And I said to Carrie, I'm like, oh, do you guys happen to have a Chuck E. Cheese nearby? Like we could just go to Chuck E. Cheese because I'm a gold member at Chuck E. Cheese. Oh. Oh. Don't want to brag, Shanna. No. Yeah, we ended up buying the year-long gold membership because we kept buying like two month gold memberships and then realizing that like it would make much more sense to just buy the year-long pass and basically you can go every day and get 250 free games.

Shanna

Wow.

Laura

Which is too many.

Shanna

That is. That's a lot.

Laura

We do not go every day. But when we do go, it's great because you divide them amongst everyone. You can divide it amongst six different cards and just like go to town and have a good time at Chuck E. Cheese and you don't even have to spend any money, right? Of course you always do. And that's why they want you there. That's why they want you to have the card because you're not buying food and snacks and stuff. But the plan was just to go play some games and then call it a night, right? So, as we were driving the five minutes from Carrie's house to Chuck E Cheese, Sebastian starts complaining of his ear hurting. And I was like, uh-oh. And he was like, the outside hurts, the outside hurts. And I looked at it and it was really red, like the actual ear part, you know, not the inside, but like the outside ear. Yeah. The cartilaginous flap that is your ear.

And I was like, oh, did he get sunburned somehow on the drive over? You know, like that's the side that was on the sun. And I was like, oh my gosh, maybe he got sunburned. And he was like really annoyed by it. But I was like, well, baby, do you want to go into Chuck E. Cheese or what? Because like all this is happening on the drive over and then in the parking lot. Chuck E. Cheese. He's like, I want to go Chuck E. Cheese. I want to go Chuck E. Cheese. I'm like, OK. So we go in, but something is clearly off with him, right? He doesn't want to play games. He doesn't want to like do anything. He just wants to curl up in my arms. And he was complaining of his ear hurting. So I was like, OK, baby, like. I think you must have an ear infection or something because this is not just the redness, right? Because honestly, this kid rarely complains about pain.

In all of my time with him, I don't really hear him saying like, oh, my leg hurts, my ear hurts. He will just, he falls down, just brushes himself off, gets right back up. So if he's complaining about pain, something's wrong. And I was like, baby, let's go. Like maybe we can leave Augie with Carrie and we'll go get some medicine for you. He's like, no, I won't play games. I was like, are you sure? He's like, yeah. So he goes and he tries to play like two games. And he's like, my ear hurts, my ear hurts. I was like, OK, we got to go get you some medicine, right? So I left Augie with Carrie and we drove to a nearby Walgreens and this poor baby, you know, I'm looking for the kids ibuprofen all over.

And, you know, when you're in a new chain store, like you go to where you normally go, the one you're used to frequenting, but then you go to this new one and they have it laid out differently and you're just like all discombobulated. So you're like, this is where it should be. Like this is where the ibuprofen should be. Well, I'm like dragging him around trying to find the kid's ibuprofen and I can't find it. You know what I mean? Like, and he's getting really, really upset. He's like, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts. And I felt so bad. So I finally find it. I couldn't find anyone to ask either, but I finally find it. I ended up buying kids ibuprofen and Tylenol because I know you can give them together if needed. And got them, got out the door. He didn't even want to get to the car before he got it. So I had to break him open before we got to the car.

And I gave him both Tylenol and Ibuprofen. He was like, it still hurts. I was like, it's going to hurt. It doesn't work right away. It's going to hurt a little bit. So anyway, we get back in the car to go back to Chuck E. Cheese to retrieve Augie, basically. Poor boy is crying the whole way. I'm like, oh, my love bug. We get back there. We get back into the Chuck E. Cheese. I go back and sit down at the booth, which is right next to where the birthday party celebrations are happening. So there's this gigantic screen, blaring kid's bop. And I'm just like, oh my god, this is not the best environment for what's likely an ear infection. But what are you going to do? Because Augie's like, I don't want to leave yet. And I can't track him down. I'm just like, OK, we're just going to eat some cotton candy and see if that makes me feel better.

So he's sitting there, curled up my arms, eating hot cotton candy, crying. And then all of a sudden, 23 minutes after I gave him his medicine, because I had looked at what time it was so I could know when to give it to him again, he sat up on my lap and said, it doesn't hurt anymore. And I was like, what? It doesn't hurt anymore. And I was like, really? He's like, yeah, it's OK. And he jumped off my lap and ran off to play games.

Shanna

Well, that's good. Very surprising, but excellent news, I guess.

Laura

Yeah. And so then I was like, okay, like maybe it was a sunburn. You know what I mean? Like what is happening? Yeah. This child was fine all night. I mean, no fever, no nothing. He was fine. And so Corey and I, you know, after Chuck E. Cheese, we drove home, totally fine, chatting away, didn't seem upset, ate dinner, fine. Oh, yeah. We even like went to In-N-Out, had dinner at In-N-Out before we went home. Anyway, totally fine. Like nothing had ever happened.

Shanna

Wow. Was his ear still really red, though?

Laura

No, it had calmed down. And now I realize that I think he was like pressing on it because it hurt. And that's what made it red, you know?

Shanna

Oh, that's, yeah, I see.

Laura

very fair skin and he's very easily redified.

Anyway, so totally fine all night, went to bed just fine. We're like, okay. Then 5 a.m. rolls around and he wakes up crying. Cory goes in to get him and he's like sobbing and I'm like, okay, all right. And we hadn't given him any more medicine because he seemed fine. So He's sobbing. He comes into the bedroom and then he's like, I need to go to bathroom. So he goes in the bathroom with Corey because I'm still groggy. And then I hear that he threw up, right? So I hear him throwing up and I hear Corey be like, it's okay, baby. You know, that's okay. You're sick. It's fine. When he had walked into the bathroom sobbing, screaming so upset, saying it hurts, it hurts, it hurts. He throws up and then he goes, I'm okay now. I feel better. And we're like, yeah. And we're like, huh? And he's like, I bet it now. And we're like, OK. I was like, maybe we should give you some medicine.

So we managed to give him some Tylenol. And he's like, I won't go sleep. And he went back to sleep for a couple hours. And then he woke up and wasn't complaining of any pain or anything. But we noticed a huge amount of pus coming out of his ear. And we're like, okay. So it would seem that he had a raging ear infection that burst his eardrum. And then when he threw up, it must have been either from the pain or maybe the pressure of throwing up popped it. I don't know. But the pus was oozing out of it. And then the next day, the other ear followed. But with no pain. So part of me is wondering if that ear still has ear tubes in it? Last time we checked, one year had an ear tube still in, and the whole point of the ear tube is to allow like drainage of fluid, right? Right. But I don't remember which ear was which. I literally don't remember.

So we made an appointment to go see his ENT, but we can't get into the ENT for a month. But we did have a pediatrician look in his ear of obviously he got antibiotics and all that stuff. But I do wonder if this child is heading for a second round of ear tubes.

Shanna

Yeah, very possible. Is it common for kids to need a second round of them, especially at this age, almost five? I think it is, yeah.

Laura

Maybe it's not the majority of kids, I'm not even sure, but it is often the case that kids need more than one set. And, you know, thinking back now, before he had his first set of ear tubes, he had no signs of ear infection. Remember, he was fine. Right. The only signs were that he didn't sleep very well.

Shanna

Oh, and he's been going through these episodes of not sleeping well recently. Exactly.

Laura

Ding, ding, ding, shanna.

we're wondering if like, maybe he just has a really high pain threshold and he doesn't feel the pressure. And I don't know. It's so weird, but I feel so bad about it and I feel sad for him. But he seems to be doing OK now. And thankfully, he's taking the antibiotics OK. So yeah. Good.

Shanna

What a whiplash, though, of like. as a parent, right? To be like, oh my god, my baby, it hurts so bad to like, oh, okay, I guess it's fine too. Oh, no, I'm so worried to, okay, it's fine.

Laura

I mean, that is a roller coaster. It is. And thank goodness Carrie was there, because if she wasn't there to witness that, I don't know if anyone would believe me.

But she saw it, she saw him sit up like he had been exercised of whatever pain it was and just like, okay, I'm okay now, I won't play. It's like, okay, kid. Oh my gosh.

Shanna

Yeah, that's such an odd back to back of extremes. I mean, it's one thing to imagine they're like, ow, it hurts or like, okay, it's feeling a little better now from, but yeah, screaming, crying too.

Laura

Okay, I'm ready to play. Yeah, it's wild, but obviously I'll be checking in as I know more about what's going on with his ears so we can see if this Eartube's saga will be continuing.

Shanna

I hope that this clears up very nicely and there's no more issues before you can see the ENT.

Laura

Thank you, thank you. But that is it for my check-in. I feel like we should move on to our special segment. What do you think? I think we should.

Shanna

We're back and this week's special segment is Mom Wins, where we celebrate our recent parenting achievements. Laura, you're up first. What is your mom win?

Laura

Okay, do you remember last week I talked about those bathtub potions as my BFP?

Shanna

Yes, the one you bought in the little like science beaker things and they foam up and it's fun bath time play, right?

Laura

Yes, yeah. And the one I got was like a six pack, right? I got it from TikTok shop and it was a huge hit after Christmas. Like we just loved these things and hence it was my BFB. Well, we really do a bit of a problem with those. So as I mentioned, we got six, which I was like perfect. Each kid will get three, we'll do three bath times with it, it'll be fine, right? But best laid plans, Shanna. I don't know how this happened. I truly don't. I don't know if when I wasn't on duty for bath time, Corey agreed to let them do another one. I don't know if on a night where one of them was refusing a bath, the other one got to do it. But somehow, we ended up with a odd number of potions left.

Shanna

Uh-oh.

Laura

Yeah, uh-oh, uh-oh indeed. And you know how much my kids care about fairness and equality. Oh, yes. And I saw the three remaining potions in the cabinet was like, oh, this is not going to work. And clocked that immediately, right?

Shanna

So you took one for yourself into your own bath and used it? So there were only two left for them? Is that what you did?

Laura

I did, I did. I actually took all of them. I was like, fuck you, kids.

No, no, no. I saw them and I was like, I mean, they're going to confiscate one, but they're going to find it. I don't have any good hiding places left in the house, I feel like, without working really hard. And I didn't really know how to get rid of it fast enough to figure that out. And I was like, you know what? I wonder if this is something I could replicate. Because we all know about science class volcanoes, right, where it's just baking soda and vinegar and it does the same thing. I wonder what the ingredients of these potions are, right? Because the nice thing about the potions is that you do end up with leftover beakers or flasks or whatever they are. I know I always mess up which one's which. And I was like, we have a bunch of these empty ones. Like could I refill this?

Genius. Okay. I like where you're going here. Thank you. So I look on the box and I see that the ingredients are sodium bicarbonate and citric acid. And then like some scents and colors, right? But that's when I was like, wait a second, sodium bicarbonate, it's baking soda. And citric acid is a staple of the Laura Birek household. Oh. It is something I always have on hand. What do you use that for? Everything.

Shanna

Really? I don't think I've ever owned a bottle or tube or packet of that in my life.

Laura

Well, you haven't lived yet, Shanna, because citric acid is my favorite thing. It's a soap box I will get on top of to tell everyone that it's better than having vinegar in the house.

Shanna

Oh.

Laura

You know how everyone's always like, oh, you need to clean with vinegar, like clean with white vinegar. I despise having the smell of vinegar like on my hands or like You know, everyone's like, it washes out. You can't smell it. I'm like, I can. I can still smell it. So yeah, it's gross. It is gross. Citric acid, granted, if we get deep into the chemistry, the pH is slightly different. So they're not a one to one substitute, but it's an acid that you can use to clean or basically do whatever vinegar, which is also an acid. Vinegar is acetic acid, if I recall. What do you mean you can eat it? Well, here's the thing, it is food grade, so I buy food grade citric acid. So every once in a while, if I've forgotten to buy lemons and I need a little lemon juice in a recipe or in my tea,

I can just take a tiny little, like just a few little granules of the citric acid and put it in whatever I'm cooking.

Shanna

Okay.

Laura

You can use it in your washing machine. You can use it to clean water bottles. You know, those little tablets that you get to like clean your water bottles. Yeah. They're mostly like citric acid. That's like the main active ingredient. I freaking love it. Again, this is something I could give a TEDx talk on, you know, how much I love citric acid.

Shanna

All right. I'm having a little bit of a hard time getting on board with something that you clean with that you can also eat. You mean like white vinegar? I know. I know. It's just weird. It's weird. Those live in separate areas of my brain, but I hear you. It's multifunctional. Got it. It is.

Laura

And it's kind of like, if you're wondering what it looks like, it kind of looks like sugar, like granulated sugar or salt. It's just a little like grillo granules, right? And so I went on the internet and just to see if like my theory was correct. And I found a few recipes for making your own potions, right? And it was indeed baking soda and citric acid. Different people had different ratios, but the one that seemed to be coming up the most was two parts baking soda to one part citric acid by weight. So I went downstairs, I got out my kitchen scale, I got out a little bowl and put like two ounces of baking soda and one ounce of citric acid and a bunch of drops of food coloring, mixed it together, used a funnel to put it back in the beaker. And yeah, brought it upstairs and my kids were none the wiser.

Shanna

Wow. Thank you. Mom went indeed, the fact that you thought about it, and had those freaking ingredients on hand. Very, very impressed.

Laura

What color did you make it? I did a red and a blue and then it mixed together to make like purple. Like you can see the red and the blue clumps separately in the beaker. And then when you put the water in, it bubbles up into a purple. Oh my gosh, but that reminds me of the second part of my mom when which is that a little while later we run out of those that I had made right and we were trying to get the kids into the bath and they didn't want to go and it was like a whole thing and then I was like wait a second. Do you guys want to make your own potions to bring into the bath tonight? And Cory was like, uh, how long is this gonna take? I'm like, it's gonna take two minutes, trust me. And they're like, yeah, yeah, I wanna do it.

So I brought them into the kitchen and we mixed up our own little potions to put into the beakers and they got to pick their own colors and it literally took less than five minutes. And those children happily marched upstairs to get in the bath. And so I was like, this will work maybe three or four times but I'm gonna use it as long as it works.

Shanna

Yeah, absolutely. That's genius. And it sounds really fun. And I think my girls would love it too. So I need to go out and get some citric acid. Can you get it at the grocery store?

Laura

Yeah, some grocery stores, you should be able to find it in the baking aisle. Otherwise, you can order it online. It's actually pretty inexpensive.

Shanna

Awesome. I cannot wait to get my potion on over here.

Laura

This is gonna be fun. Yeah, you should. It is super fun. But that is my mom win. Shanna, do you have one for us? I do.

Shanna

This mom win doesn't actually involve my kids, but I think of it as a mom win because it's an example of how being a mom has shaped me or, you know, just like changed me in a way. Does that make sense? Sure. Great. It does involve my kids in that we were all out at Griffith Park recently just hanging out for the day of family day. And I think you're familiar with this part of the park. There is a little cafe in the middle of the trees. It's called Trails Cafe.

Laura

Oh, yeah. I actually have a picture of you extremely pregnant with Elle at Trails Cafe with me.

Shanna

That's right, I think that was like the day before I went into labor maybe. Very possibly. I think that was the last time I'd been there before this experience. So it's been a little time. It's been a little time. But we were playing on the playground over in that area and then we wanted a little snack and so we went over to Trails Cafe and it was a weekend and so it was extremely crowded. There was a really long line to wait to order And I was like, you know, I don't want to stand in the sun and wait. So I'm going to go grab us a table over on the other side of the cafe. All of the seating is outdoors underneath these trees. It's very, very pretty. And so Steve stood in line. And occasionally the girls would come hang out with me, then they'd go hang out with Steven Lyne, etc. While I was alone at the table, I clocked that there were a couple of women at the table next to me.

They were talking about something, recording each other on a couple, making a couple of TikToks or whatever. And they were saying their goodbyes to each other. And this is just in my periphery while I'm, I don't know, scrolling on my phone or whatever. So I'm sitting there relaxing. Beautiful day. All of a sudden, I hear a big sound. It's not crash, because when you think of crash, you think of like, I don't know, loud, medley things hitting each other. It wasn't that. It was more of like a huge oomph and like a smack, like a oomph and a smack. Like a percussive, like a deep It's like sound. Okay. That my brain could not process on its own. Like I had no idea what that sound was. It wasn't anything I'd heard before. And so I was like, what the hell?

So I turn in look to my left and I see that one of the women that had just been sitting at the table and say goodbye to her friend was face down on the dirt in this wooded area. And I mean face down on her stomach. Her face was flat in the dirt. Oh my gosh. And so my brain immediately was like, oh, she fell face first. And I noticed that the picnic table she was at was on a bit of a step. I don't know. There's like these graduated steps in this dining area. So she was right on a ledge, basically. And I figured, She turned to leave, stepped off this ledge, didn't know it was there and fell. Thanks first. Ouch. And I have to tell you that in my former life, I have tended to freak the fuck out when people experience. medical emergencies or just anything out of the ordinary in that way in my presence.

I've been known to run away, pass out, just retreat, get scared, just all kinds of things that aren't the urge to get up and help. It's just an anxiety. It's a fear that I have, right? And I'm looking at this woman face down and she's not moving. I'm like, what the fuck? there are people sitting around and like no one is getting up and without even thinking I like immediately jumped up I jumped off this ledge and I like got down to her to check on her and I'm like are you okay and finally she like turns her face to the side she's like Yeah, yeah. Oh gosh. I'm so sorry. I'm fine. I'm fine. And so I was like, here, give me your hand. I'm going to help you up. And finally, some other people started to come over to check on her. And I had clicked into mom mode. You know, I realized later, I was like, I think I learned that from being a mom. Like I just jump into mom mode like I

have the urge to check on someone and help someone that maybe I never had before. And the other mom thing was the way I was talking to this person. Like I wasn't trying to like talk down to her or anything like that. But I was just noticing like this instant like comforting like I'm here for you tone was coming over me is just like I wanted to do whatever I could to help this person that had just hurt herself and was clearly very embarrassed about it. She's like, oh gosh, I don't know. I'm like, It's okay, we're here for you here. Let me help you up. Did you hit your head? I would have done the same thing. Like that's such a hidden ledge. Like they shouldn't have that there. And she was so discombobulated. And I just wanted to hug her and help her. And she was okay. I mean, she was extremely shaken. It looked like she probably hurt her knee. And she was very embarrassed.

She got up, she brushed herself off. and was able to walk away. And I was shaking because I'm not used to having urgent situations pop up like that. But I was just surprised at my own behavior, honestly, because I just tend to freak out in those situations. But instead, my parenting, I think, has taught me that it's OK to jump into action and be there and be a comforting voice for someone else.

Laura

Yeah, it's interesting because, first of all, there's that thing where it's like with repetition you get used to doing something and there's nothing more repetitive than motherhood. You know what I mean? Like, indeed. You know, you have ten years of practice. of reassuring someone who's fallen, reassuring someone who's hurt. You know what I mean? Caring for someone no matter what, facing your fears of bodily fluids and blood and all that stuff just to help someone, right? So you just have that emotional muscle memory of that no matter what now, right? So there's that aspect of it. And then there's the deepened empathy that I don't know It sounds like you have and I definitely have gained by being a mom, right? Like just this sort of feeling like everyone is someone's baby. You know, I remember like right after I had Augie or he might have been even like six months or so.

And I just like had this revelation. I'm like looking at everyone walking by being like, oh my God, these are all somebody's babies, you know?

Shanna

Yeah. It makes you see other humans in a more empathetic way.

Laura

Yeah, for sure. And also, I love embracing the sort of mom vibes. You know what I mean? I found myself doing this where the time I found that lost kid at Discanso or just like, if a kid's at a park and falls, I just instantly snap into mom mode. And it makes sense with little kids, but it's cool that you did that with a grown-up.

Shanna

Yeah, I think that's what really made it stand out for me is that it was these skills or emotional capabilities that I had developed in one arena applied to a completely different one, right? Adults and an adult stranger to boot. And it stuck out to me too because the things I was saying to her are things I say to my kids. Oh, are you okay here? Let me help you up. We're here for you. We will, you know, I don't even know exactly what I was saying, but it was definitely along the lines of like, we're here for you. We're going to take care of you and check on you and make sure that you're okay and help you with what you need next, you know? And I just, let me tell you, Shanna, 20 years ago,

Oh, it's embarrassing. But I just, I couldn't have done that. I don't think I wouldn't have known what to say. I probably would have, you know, at least been like, oh, are you okay? But there was just something different about this. And I think it's cool. Like it felt good to be able to jump in action, to be able to help someone else without that fear. That was rare for me. And I attribute that to motherhood and the one zillion times my own kids have for themselves.

Laura

And I've had to attend to them. Well, just to defend Shanna from 20 years ago, because she was my friend too, I think it was less that you wouldn't have done that, but you would have waited a breath. You would have probably hesitated or waited a moment to see if anyone else jumped in, right? You know what I mean? If there was no one else, you would have still jumped in, but you would have waited to see, maybe there's someone more qualified. Like, is there a mom in the house?

Shanna

Yeah. Yeah. I think, yeah, I think you're probably right. That is true. I mean, I wasn't devoid of empathy back then. Just I had a bit more anxiety that was at work about that kind of stuff. And I don't know. It feels different now. And it was interesting to see that in action.

Laura

It also reminds me of what I tell my boys, like, if they're ever lost or in trouble to look for another mom or to look for someone who looks like a mom, which always feels a little like, oh, I'm like, that's so gendered. And like Corey will be like, oh, what about a dad? I'm like, you and I both know. Come on. But it's true, like there is, you know, again, like hashtag, not all moms, right? There are bad moms out there. There are mean moms. I'm not saying that every single person who has birthed a child is like a glorious, perfect human being. But on average, we all have a lot of practice being empathetic. So, and I hope that if my kids are out in the world someday, even as adults and something happens to them, that some kind mom will be around to help them feel better.

Shanna

Yeah. Yeah. Me too. And same with my girls. Yeah. Well, good for you, Shanna. Oh, thank you. Thank you. But yeah, that's my mom win. Thanks for letting me share it. Of course. Shall we move on to our BFPs and BFNs? I think we should.

Laura

We are back and we wrap up every episode with a Big Fat Positive or a big fat negative from the week. And Shanna, you're up first. Do you have a BFP or a BFN? I have a BFP.

Shanna

Yay. Yay. As I mentioned in the first segment, my kids did not go to school on Monday because school was not open yet. So it was a wide open day for us. And I was inspired by our mommy camp day that we did the previous week and all of their Big along outings with the field trip camp so in my mind i was like we're planning an agenda and it was great this format just works so well for our family right now to just get them out of the house wants keep them out entertain them. and come back exhausted. So we started the day with CECE's yearly checkup at the pediatrician. So we went and did that and then bought some supplies for a picnic at a playground that we'd never been to before. I found a new one. You know, you got to have that novelty in the mix, at least for my kids.

Laura

I mean, at this point, it's impressive that there's a playground you haven't been to.

Shanna

I know. I think it's a new one.

So that's probably why. And it was fun. It was a really cool playground. It was the Jesse Owens playground. There's lots of pictures of Jesse Owens and hurdles nailed into the ground. The kids were trying to jump over unsuccessfully. It was a very cool playground. And then we went to an old school movie theater, not the new fancy reclining seats one that we usually go to because mama wanted to save money. And I was like, sorry, kids, we're going old school to see Zootopia 2.

Laura

Nice. I still haven't seen that. I think that's what the boys did before we went to Chuck E. Cheese.

Shanna

Oh, with Corey. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It's great. I really loved it. It was a really great movie. But going into this movie theater that was more old school outdated, it was fun for me personally because it felt like a throwback back in time. Like, I was like, kids, these are what movie theaters are like. When I was a kid, I don't know, just like the outdated decorations and carpet and the seats that flip up, you know, the chair part flips up and they can barely even keep it down because they don't weigh enough. But in the end, they didn't care that much that it wasn't the fancy one. And let me tell you, I probably saved about 40 bucks. So I consider that a BFP. For sure. Yeah. So I guess overall my BFP is just a wonderful day out with the kids and we had a good time. Nice. Love it. What about you?

Laura

Do you have a BFP or a BFN? I also have a BFP. What is it? Okay. My BFP is something that Augie 100% initiated on his own. Well, okay. I shouldn't say 100% because we had to do the legwork, but this was 100% his idea. And it was something that he kept asking about until we finally made it happen, which is that he started electric guitar lessons this week. Oh, how cool! He has been asking for electric guitar lessons, specifically electric. It can't be acoustic. A couple months now, and we finally got around to figuring out a place. I had seen a place called Guitar Ninjas, like literally as I was driving by it. And noted it in my head at some point and then I had seen on Instagram that a friend had taken their kids there as I was like, okay, like someone we know had gone there. And so I told Corey about it and he went ahead and got Augie some lessons and

You know, Corey and I both play guitar, but Corey's the one who really likes his electric guitar. Like he has a big old amp at his office, you know, will sometimes like shred on the guitar. Nice. Meanwhile, I have my like acoustic and I'm all like folksy. But Augie really wanted electric guitar. So Corey took him to Guitar Center to pick out an electric guitar and he came home. Let me show you. Let me show you what he came home with. Oh my gosh, I cannot wait to see this.

Shanna

Okay. Oh my God. He's so cool. He has got a red child size, what I can tell from the sticker on their Fender electric guitar. Oh, he looks so cool.

Laura

It's a perfect size for him. I love this. I think they called it a squire size. It's like three-quarter size red Stratocaster. You know, I was like, well, maybe we should find a second hand one, blah, blah, blah, but you know, Corey, I think, wanted to get him something really cool and new and it was like a fun little daddy son situation. So I didn't interfere. But oh my gosh, Shanna, he is making this his whole personality. Is he? Oh, yes. We've been scheduling some play dates and he keeps being like, well, I want them to come to our house because I want to show them my electric guitar.

I love it. And I have to say these photos I sent you, first of all, he looks like a freaking teenager. Yeah. Just like, oh my gosh, he just turned seven. And I always hate when people do this to little kids when they're like, oh, they're going to be heartbreakers when they grow up. But I saw this and I was like, holy shit, he's going to be like, he's going to be that like high school kid with the electric guitar that like, you know, like, I can see it already.

Shanna

Yeah. Oh my gosh. So how are lessons going? Is he enjoying actually playing it?

Laura

Well, Corey took him to the first lesson and he of course did not take any pictures because he didn't want to distract him. But I was like, come on man, I want to see a picture. But I have to say he's already teaching me something because he came home and he was like, mama, mama, there's a story about the strings. Oh, and you know, I've been playing guitar since I was like 13 on and off, but I have the hardest time remembering the letter, you know, what the strings are supposed to be tuned to without checking, right? Like without, you know, I know how to tune them without looking it up, but I just know that the low one is the low E and then I'm like, I can't remember. It's some A's, B's, D's. I don't know, right? Like I'm always like, it doesn't matter. No one like no one's quizzing me on this, but I can never remember. And he's like, mom, there's a story, there's a story.

It goes, Eddie ate dynamite good by Eddie. And so it's like EAD GBE. And I was like, oh, that's 100% going to help me remember that one.

Shanna

That is awesome. It's like the little mnemonic device I learned when I was learning to read music for piano, right? Like the notes on the lines spelled out like every good boy deserves fudge or something like that.

Laura

I love that.

Shanna

Yeah, so he is now a guitar guy. Does he want to be a guitar guy because he knows that his mama really loves that guy that's in radiohead or whatever? Remember?

Laura

Tom York? Yeah.

Shanna

Yeah. Is he trying to be Tom York to win his mother's heart?

Laura

I don't think so. I think it's a lot less complicated than that. I think he sees his dad play electric guitar sometimes and wants to be more like his dad.

Shanna

Aw, that's so cute. I can't wait to hear him play.

Laura

Oh, he'll have you over for a show at each time. Oh, yeah. I bet he will. Yes. We will be there. But that is my BFP, and I think that's it for our show. Wait, unless you have a five-star review to read.

Shanna

I do. This review is from Mad Dog 1396. The title of the review is Five Stars, and then this person gave us five stars. Thank you. The review says, I am currently child-free and have been listening to this podcast for over three years. I've even listened to some episodes twice. I love getting to hear funny stories and parenting conundrums. I've definitely learned some great tips to implement with my kids one day. My husband and I are now trying to conceive, and one of the things I'm most excited for is to get to listen to the old podcasts week by week. When I do get pregnant, Laura and Shanna are definitely the most relatable and down-to-earth podcast hosts I've listened to. while still managing to be so engaging week after week. Keep up the good work, ladies. You've created something wonderful. Aw, thank you so much for that wonderful review. Yes, thank you.

Listeners, if you haven't had a chance yet, could you please do us a favor and head on over to Apple Podcast Leave us five stars and say a few things you love about the show, and we might read your review on an upcoming episode. If you have any mom wins you want to share with us, you know we would love to celebrate you, so please reach out. Laura, where can everyone find us?

Laura

We are on all the social medias at BFP Podcast. We have a website, BigBatPositivePodcast.com, and if you want to send us an email, send us a contact at BigBatPositivePodcast.com. And finally, if you want to join the coolest group of people on the internet, just search Facebook for Big Fat Positive Community. It is a private group, so you have to request to join and answer the two membership questions so we know you're not a robot. But once you do that, you'll be sent straight through to all the wonderful conversations we're having in there.

Shanna

Our show is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thanks for listening, everyone. Have a Big Fat Positive Week. Bye. Bye.

Embracing “Mom Mode” in Unusual Circumstances – Ep. 398

February 16, 2026

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Episode Transcript

Embracing “Mom Mode” in Unusual Circumstances – Ep. 398

February 16, 2026

Listen Now:

This episode's sponsors:

Whisker Litter-Robot

Once Upon a Dance

Tags

Episode Transcript