A Parenting Tactic Overheard in a Parking Lot – Ep. 384

Laura

Welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. This week, we have our weekly check-ins. We have our special segment. They said, what were you get to find out who the true love of my life is? And we hear about how Shanna took down a petty tyrant. And we close with our BFPs and BFNs for the week. Let's get started. Hello everyone and welcome to episode 384 of Big Fat Positive, a pregnancy and parenting journey. Hi Shanna. Hello. Hello, hello. Let's get right to it. I want to hear what you've been up to this week.

Shanna

Well Laura, it's that time of year where I make my yearly pilgrimage to the forest with 100 other moms and we all take over a campground actually more like a summer camp with cabins and all of that and do a mom retreat for the weekend.

Laura

It always sounds so fun. I feel like the main thing I remember from an earlier version of this was like you trying to get up to the mountains in your electric car and then having to turn around and go back home for the night because you were afraid that you weren't going to make it.

Shanna

Yeah, yeah. I learned from that mistake. I used my gas vehicle this year and I had a car buddy. I picked up our friend Jen and we carpooled up to the mountains.

Laura

That is a smart move, also brave because I know you are imedophobic and metophobic. I never know how to say it. And Jen gets car sick really easily. Yes, I know. It just shows you how good of a friend you are, you know?

Shanna

Yeah, I think so. And it really helps my safety in driving because let me tell you, I took all of those mountain curves so slow. I was annoying everyone on the road, but I was like, my friend will not get sick. And to her credit, she took a dramamine or some kind of nausea reducer ahead of time. So she had my back too.

Laura

Good, good, good. That's working together. All right.

Shanna

Totally.

Laura

Now, some people might be wondering, Laura, why aren't you going to this mom's retreat with your two best friends? I know, I know. Tell them. It's because you're part of a mom's group that capped membership basically before my kids were born, right? And like, Jen has been lobbying to get me into this group since I got pregnant with Augie. to no avail. So I am sadly not a part of the group, but I am happy for you guys that you get to go romp and rollick in the forest with all these cool moms.

Shanna

Yes. I know. I'm so sorry. Every year I'm like, oh, this would be so much more fun if Laura could join us. And it feels like weird and exclusive. But what it does do is inspire me to be like, me, you, and Jen should just go to our own mom's retreat. Yes. Let's go to like Joshua Tree or something. Yes, please, a weekend of hammock swinging and hot tubs sitting. There's no hot tubs at this retreat, but I think we could step it up a bit and have even more fun. But this particular weekend, I didn't have as much fun as I could have without you, but you highlights One was all the puzzling, all these moms bring puzzles and the main mess halls where everyone convenes and people bring games and puzzles and set stuff up. So lots of puzzling and just relaxing and hanging out.

Laura

It's the best story. It's such a good story.

Shanna

It was great. Everyone afterwards was like, that's wild. Oh my gosh, I can't believe that happened to you. So it also spurred a lot of conversation with people I might not have talked to before or known. So that's always like a nice, you know, entry point to new friendships.

Laura

You should wear a sign like a badge, like a name tag that says, like, ask me about all the birds that flew into my house. Just in life, all every day, just to start conversation with people.

Shanna

Yeah, it's an icebreaker. Yeah. This just automatically spurred an idea in my head where we should start like a Truth or Dare podcast where you dare me to do something like that and I have to do it and then I report back on it because I'm like, I wouldn't do that. But if I were dared to, I might. OK. Another fun highlight was we all bring clothes that we don't wear anymore. And volunteers set up shop. I mean, they bring racks and mirrors and set stuff out. It's basically like shopping for new clothes. I brought a bag of clothes to give away and I came home with a whole new bag of clothes. A lot of really fun stuff. Don't think anyone took anything. I don't mean it. So sorry, folks.

Laura

I gave up trying to sell my clothes back to like Buffalo Exchange many years ago, after many scoffs from the very hip clerks, I was like, okay, I guess I will continue to donate these to Goodwill and slink down the door.

Shanna

Message received from those people, 100%. Luckily this I just showed up with my bag and like just hung stuff up all around you know on my own so no one had to give me an eye roll at my old Massimo t-shirt from I don't know 2012.

Laura

It would make me feel very self-conscious.

Shanna

Yeah, I wear earplugs anyway when I sleep. So, you know, that's nice. A lot of the moms are like, I'm so sorry I snore. I'm like, that's fine. I wear earplugs. It doesn't matter. But, you know, it's just restless. It's not the most comfortable bed and everything. But yeah, I don't know. All in all, it was really fun. Got to meet some new people. The food was actually pretty good for being at a camp. And yeah, just nice to get away and not worry about, you know, taking care of kids.

Laura

Yeah, 100%, especially being out on a trip. Because for the last, I don't know, six and a half years, every time I take a trip, it's about taking care of a kid. Yes. That is awesome.

Shanna

And I do love a road trip. I just don't love a road trip with small children. So this, I got to do it without them. Yay, sorry kids, I love you, but yay.

Laura

Yeah, it's a different experience for sure.

Shanna

For sure. But yeah, that's the highlight of my week. And it's on our list, Laura, to do a mom retreat with me, you and Jen. So we need to make that happen. Yes, we do.

Laura

But now I want to hear about your week, what's going on in your world. So I'm going to check in about the very busy but very fun 48 hours I had Friday to Sunday. Friday and Saturday, basically. So the story of the fun stuff I did this weekend actually started earlier this week. We were recording last week's episode and we had to pause because I think Radley was barking or something. So I pick up my phone and I'm like scrolling and we're just like you're off trying to. Figure out some way to get that dog to find out and one of my hobbies ever since the era's tour which was like two years ago is to use this app called tick pick T I C K P I C K which is like a ticket reselling app.

Shanna

Oh, okay.

Laura

To like lurk on concert prices in my area. It's sort of like virtual tourism, right? Like I've never actually used it to buy tickets to a concert. I used it to buy tickets to a Dodgers game a little while back, but never actually bought tickets on it. But I like watching and seeing if ticket prices go up, if they go down, and then like I'll notice that when a concert is about to start, the ticket prices go way down. I remember when Beyonce was playing in Los Angeles, I was looking at tickets like an hour before her show and they were like $85 for decent seats. And I was like, oh my gosh, should I go? Should I just tell Corey, take care of the kids and I'm gonna go to Beyonce tonight by myself? So this has been a pastime. I have never acted on it, but it's been something like I was watching Oasis tickets thinking like, oh, maybe I should go to Oasis last minute, that sort of thing, right?

Shanna

And I was like, oh, well, I'm supposed to be on my first night of my retreat that night. But I think Jen is going to Chapel Roan too. So yeah, maybe I'll go too. Sure.

Laura

And I was like, tickets are below face value right now. And I'm going to go click. And like while we were still rolling, I bought the tickets. I went back and listened to the audio though, and we were like off mic. So. No one could hear anything, so I can't play back the audio. But we made that impulse decision to go see Chapel Roan on Friday and we did. We got all dolled up. You came over to my house on Friday night and we drove over to the Chapel Roan concert and it was like this huge festival situation. Neither of us were prepared, I don't think, for what was going on.

Shanna

No, not at all. But I like that. I like spontaneously being like, sure, I'll do a thing that I know nothing about. And then he was surprised. It was so fun and so awesome.

Laura

It was so fun. And so, you know, we went to the concert. We had a lot of fun. They had an 11 p.m. curfew, which was great because we were both tired by the end of it. But I mean, it was like a nonstop dance party. She played, I think, every single one of her songs that she released.

Laura

Plus a cover, right? Didn't she do a barracuda? That was so good. Oh, she did a cover of barracuda, yeah. And yeah, and then we we trekked out. I think the trek out was the most harrowing part of the whole situation.

Shanna

You were definitely going rogue across the golf course to try to get around traffic. We had to park in a golf course, I guess I should say that first of all.

Laura

Yes, we're parked on a golf course. The way we remembered where our car was, Shanna, you were like, oh, we're next to the sand trap that looks like a butt.

Shanna

Ah, classic helpful shot.

Laura

It worked, though. We came back and we're like, there's the butt sand trap. And then, yeah, I definitely drove wildly slowly, but wildly across the golf course to try to get a way out, which, by the way, worked. Thank you very much.

Shanna

Yeah. Yeah, you probably saved us an hour of sitting in standstill traffic on the golf course.

Laura

which is honestly like I'm so proud of myself for that. That's like a huge achievement.

Shanna

Yeah. I'm going to print up and send you a ribbon for a certificate.

Laura

So Shanna, you were like, how am I going to wake up super early and go to the retreat tomorrow? And we're like, well, that is the price we pay for having fun, right? Meanwhile, my concern was like, how am I going to wake up early and get to Santa Monica tomorrow? Oh. Because my mom pulled a classic Susan Winter and spontaneously booked us a resort pass for the day in Santa Monica. Ooh. She found this place called the Shore Hotel, which I had never heard of, which is right on, I don't know, that front road that it's not PCH, but it's like the one that's above the bluffs. It's like right there, and it was right next to the Santa Monica Pier. And so we went out there, we spent hours and hours and hours in the pool in the hot tub. It was great. I was really skeptical at first because it didn't have a lot of pictures. I didn't know if it was going to be super small.

Shanna

Wow, I haven't been in a Tilt-A-Whirl since I was in high school probably.

Laura

Yeah, me neither. And Augie was the one who first wanted to go. Augie was like, I want to go in it. They're all shaped like shark mouths at the Santa Monica pier. So like you get into that. And he's like, I want to go in the shark ride. And Corey was over it. I mean, at this point it was probably 8.30. It was so late. The kids were so tired. But they were just like wired. And Augie wanted to go. And so I was like, I'll go with you. So I go get tickets, come back, come back to Sebastian crying and Cory was like, he wants to go too. And so I was like, well, go get, go get you guys some tickets and come back. So they come back with their tickets. We all four go on as a family. My mom is taking video, which by the way, she hasn't sent me or else I would send it to you and you could see me like laughing hysterically. And I'm watching them and I'm like, they're not spinning that fast.

Shanna

Honestly, it sounds really fun, but I'm curious how you handled it and how the kids handled it.

Laura

So I was with Sebastian, Corey was with Aki. Sebastian looks scared. The whole time I'm like pinning him down. You know, we have the lap bar, but I'm pinning him down. But Shanna, I was so concerned because I get motion sick sometimes too. And I, I've like gotten it in my mind that I can't do rides like that anymore. because they make me feel too dizzy and too sick. But I had so much fun on it. I was like, oh my gosh. It's incredible how much fun I had. I used to love roller coasters. We went to Magic Mountain once together on a random Tuesday and road rides all day nonstop. I love roller coasters. One of my favorite memories. Yeah, but I thought those days were over for me, but I got on this Tilt-A-Whirl and I was like, hey, you know what? Maybe not like maybe I can still tolerate this stuff because I was just laughing so hard I got that like stomach dropping feeling it was so fun.

Shanna

I'm like, this is so fun. Ooh, that sounds fun. Maybe we should all go to Sky Zone together, the trampoline park, the indoor one, and just jump and bounce and go wild.

Laura

I mean, you're really going from zero to 60 here. I was thinking like a nice little like exercise class.

Shanna

Mm hmm. Fun.

Laura

What a great weekend. I know for both of us, we had fun. All right, so that's the end of my check-in, but it's not even close to the end of the show, Shanna. We've got two more segments. Oh, yeah. Should we start moving on? Mm-hmm.

Shanna

We're back. And this week's special segment is, they said, what? Where we report on the questionable, funny, or outrageous things that people have said to us recently. Laura, you're up first. What's your first? They said, what?

Laura

OK, both of mine are things my kids said to me. I'm just going to get that out of the way because... They're so funny these days and they're so interesting. Absolutely. I just have to share. That's legit. Thank you. So the first one is something Sebastian said to me the other day. So I'm just going to tell you what he said and then I'll give you some backstory. Okay. He turns his sweet little cherubic face towards me. He says, Mama, why did you want the married daddy and not that other guy that taunt into a twee?

Shanna

Okay, right, right. Did you know what he was referring to when he said this or were you just like, what?

Laura

It certainly took me a second. I was like, huh? And then I started putting it together. So here's the backstory. So my kids love watching music videos. It's one of the few things we let them watch on YouTube anymore because, you know, YouTube can be quite a cesspool, but whatever they're wanting to branch out of their usual TV fair, sometimes Corey and I will just be like, oh, let's watch a music video, right? They're interesting, like little pieces of art. It allows us to show the music that we like. And, you know, I figure it's better than just watching more Vlad and Nikki or whatever BS they like to watch. And Corey has started showing them more Radiohead videos, which is great. You know, as you know, Radiohead is probably my favorite band of all time. Corey and I are both huge Radiohead fans. And so,

Shanna

Uh-huh.

Laura

I've sent you the video in case you want to take a look.

Shanna

Of course. Wow. OK. So it's almost like a stop motion claymation vibe. And it is a little eerie and dark. Tom York's running through the forest and then his shoes come off. One foot gets planted in the ground and then the next. And then branches emerge and you see the dark sky. And then it comes back down to his face in the trunk. And he looks like he's in agony, to be honest. So it's very dark.

Laura

Oh, yeah. It's very dark. The kids freaking love it.

Shanna

It's interesting. I can see why they would like it.

Laura

Yeah. It's very interesting, very artsy. It's not like disturbing, I should say, but it is dark. Well, at some point during all this watching different Radiohead videos, talking about Radiohead, Corey dropped a nugget of information for the kids that I used to be in love with Tom York.

Shanna

Oh, I see. OK, a celebrity crush.

Laura

I had a huge celebrity crush on Tom York. I mean, so I first learned about Radiohead when I was 13, I think. I attended a solo asylum concert at the Fresno State Amphitheater, and Radiohead was opening for solo asylum.

Shanna

Oh, wow.

Laura

Do you remember Runaway Train?

Shanna

Of course. Yes. I loved that song.

Laura

Yeah. And it was actually my brother's friends who were all going to this concert and I was like the tag along little sister. And I remember standing there all by myself because Jeff and his friends went off to like hang out. And I felt like kind of lonely and kind of dejected. And I was waiting for the opening act to come on. And I like heard creep, but I didn't really know much about them. And they came on stage. And I still remember it so clearly. They played this song called Bones first. It's from their album, The Benz, which is what they were on tour for. And I was from that moment hooked for the rest of my life. I was just like, who are these people? What is this band? I'm so obsessed. Wow. And so I was, yes, I was in love with Tom York for most of my life.

Shanna

Understandable.

Laura

Yeah, and Cory told this to the boys and I think they thought that I was like actually in a relationship with him or something like they heard like mommy loves Tom York and they think like oh like mommy like got married to and lives you know lived with and was in love with Tom York so Sebastian says to me mama why did you marry daddy and not the guy who turned into a twi?

Shanna

Oh my gosh, they took it so literally. And that is so cute. And how did you answer him?

Laura

I said, because I never had the opportunity to meet him and had I, I would have seduced him and ended up marrying him. So, no, I said, no, no, no, no, honey, I just really liked the band. I love daddy and daddy's the only one I wanted to marry. But secretly, Tom, if you're listening, just saying, I'm still around. JK, JK.

Shanna

But would you marry him if he were a tree?

Laura

I do love trees.

Shanna

But Shanna, do you have one for us? I do. Okay, this one happened a few months ago when me and Steve and the girls were taking a road trip up to Lake Arrowhead. And when you drive from Los Angeles to Lake Arrowhead, it's pretty straight freeway until you get to a certain point and you need to turn off and head up into the mountains. And so we'd been on the road for an hour, hour and a half or so at this point. And we were just about to get off the main freeway and go up into the mountains. And the girls were like, we have to go potty. And like, okay, Steve, there's a Starbucks. Let's stop there. We pull into the Starbucks parking lot and this place is booming. It is so busy. There's so many cars. I think it's because it's kind of the last spot before or after the mountains, really, so everyone's making a pit stop there for whatever, drinks and stuff.

Laura

Yeah. I feel like this is born out of past experience where she's been bamboozled or something. And I can imagine a backstory where this all comes from and yet It's like just what are you what are you losing by giving us the code to the bathroom? You know what I mean? Like what what is what do you think is the worst thing that's going to happen with like a mom with her two young daughters going to the bathroom? Yeah. It reminds me, it just makes me feel like someone who is wielding their minor power, like a tyrant. They can just be like, this is the one thing I have control over and I am going to be the most powerful bathroom code holder in all of history. And it's just like- Lady, you got to chill out. I get very triggered by people who think I'm lying to them. You know what I mean? That is very triggering to me. I probably would have been close to tears.

Shanna

I'm gonna tell my husband to not buy anything in the drive-thru The being questioned was so aggressive like there's so many reasons I could have not but been buying an item at that moment I could have already bought one and been sitting there for a while and then needed to use the bathroom or we had to go so bad We needed to go to the bathroom before you know, why does she have to question us? I especially when I could tell she was really busy. So, you know, I'm forgiving in the sense that I could tell she was overwhelmed and maybe didn't make the best choice at that moment. But the way I felt attacked put me on alert and on edge. And it is the reason that I often hesitate to ask for bathroom codes in places, even when I am buying something right then and there. It's almost kind of like, oh, I'm sorry to bother you, but... And it's just a weird feeling to have.

Laura

Also, what is the alternative? I really want to know. If we're getting depth back down to the real basics, I find this whole withholding of bathrooms thing really awful. People have to use the bathroom. Everyone has to use the bathroom. And sometimes there's no other places available. The only place you can go to the bathroom is in a store, is in a place of business. And why are we restricting people from being able to use the bathroom based on their ability to purchase something? That is such BS. I also feel like if you were just you, a single adult woman, you know, it's like, okay, you can figure out where to go. But like, does she really want your kids to like have to pee on the floor? You know what I mean? Like, what is the upside here?

Shanna

Yeah. It did feel especially egregious because they had two young kids with me. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry. But anyway, someone else let us in. We used the bathroom. I left very quickly, trying very hard to avert eye contact with this woman, and we went on our merry way.

Laura

And she continues her reign of terror at the bottom of the hill, Starbucks.

Shanna

Yep, yep, yep.

Laura

All right that was my first they said what you have another one for us i do all right i'm just gonna say this one again without any context and then explain this is augie the other night as he's getting out of the bath apropos of nothing like truly apropos nothing just gets out of the bath and looks at us again. with his just very angelic little face with his gigantic eyes. You know, he's like wrapped in a towel. His eyelashes are all matted together because they're wet from the bath. I mean, you could not little red cheeks could not be sweeter. And he says, Mama, can I tell you something? This is what he's been doing lately. Mama, can I tell you something? Like, yes, always sweetie. And he says, in my culture, when people die, we just shove them off a cliff.

Shanna

What?

Laura

Corey turns to him because Corey was right there. Corey says, what in the mid-summer are you talking about?

Shanna

That's awesome. Okay, please explain.

Laura

There's kind of two parts of this. There's the in my culture part and then the, you know, the shoving people off Cliffs part. So I'll start with the in my culture. I don't know where he got this. I think it started when in Kinder, the class did this huge like unit about cultures, right? And like kids in the class brought in stuff from their culture. I remember we had to make a box that was like all about Augie's culture. So Augie brought in a thing. I did a lot of stuff about basically my dad's culture because my mom's side of the family, it's like a mix of English, Irish, Scottish, we're not sure. They immigrated to the US a long time ago, so it's that sort of mishmash we don't know a lot. my dad's culture, we know a lot, you know, Hungarian, all that stuff. So we brought in all these pictures of like Hungary and my dad and all this stuff, right?

Shanna

Yeah. It's one of those things that you're like, I don't know if I want to correct it because it's just so adorable.

Laura

It's really cute. And it hasn't been verging into problematic until we get in my culture, when people die, we just shove them off the cliff. Oh my gosh, what is that? Oh my gosh. That is the part I actually don't know about. I don't know where that came from. He went on to explain that they're not alive, like they're dead. And when you shove them off a cliff, they're already dead. This is how you get dispose of the bodies or bury. You're not burying them, you're not cremating them. I don't know if this came up because we were talking about Graves and like Papa Adam got cremated and Magnus got cremated you know they mean like so like trying to understand the different ways that we treat bodies after they die. And for him he just decided a big pile of bodies at the bottom of the cliff was the way to go.

Shanna

out of sight out of mind. Yeah, I think he's a problem solver. There was something he was like, hmm, that's a problem. How would I approach it? And this is what he came up with. And he's proud of it. So I think that's pretty cool. You know, he's proud of it. And yeah, I commend him. I'm interested in more facts about his culture.

Laura

I will start collecting them and maybe I'll present a little culture box, if you will, of Augie's culture and get back to you.

Shanna

That's so funny and startling to hear your kids say something like that. Just like, what?

Laura

Maybe he's been watching too many Radiohead videos.

Shanna

Maybe. Yeah, you should double check if there are any body disposal scenes in any of those videos.

Laura

All right, back to Vlad and Nikki, I guess. All right, Shanna. Yeah. Those were my things said once. Do you have one more for us? I do. Shall we do it after the break? Oh, good idea.

Shanna

Okay, I have actually two small separate things that both happened in the parking lot of the Ralph's grocery store near our house. Ooh, okay. The first one, I was shopping with CeCe one day. We came out to the parking lot and we're going towards our car and out of nowhere, she goes, mama, how do you spell sexy? And I was like, what? And she said, sexy. And I was like, sexy. Like, saxophone? And she's like, no, sexy. Like, ooh, you're looking sexy today. Oh, my God. But just fine, I don't care. You know, they pick this stuff up. But just at that moment, this older grandma looking woman walks by and like does a double take at my little, I think she was probably five at the time at my five year old being like, oh, you're looking sexy today. And I was just like, oh my God. SCXY, okay.

Laura

But yeah. Oh my gosh, that is so awkward.

Shanna

Yeah, yeah, it's so awkward. You know, but you can't stop these kids from saying these things that come into their mind no matter who's around, really.

Laura

Oh, yeah. And it's just a wonder what they pick up, you know, at school or on TV. And it's not like you can totally censor all of it. So how'd you handle it? Did you just spell it and move on?

Shanna

Yeah, yeah, I spelled it and moved on. I might have asked why she was thinking of it, because that's always what makes me curious when our kids say these things out of the blue. It's like, what were you thinking about before you uttered that phrase? I mean, we were just grocery shopping. I honestly have no idea why she was thinking about sexy stuff, but she was. and needed to talk about it in front of the grandma. But speaking of grandmas, my other one involved a random grandma in the Ralph's parking lot. I was shopping with both girls one day and shopping with kids is never easy. I've learned since then to try to avoid that, but I was shopping with them that day. We're coming out to the parking lot and parked next to us is a car with a grandma in it. I assume she's seemed like an older woman, maybe like in her 70s.

Laura

Yes, learn from our elders for sure.

Shanna

Exactly. And looking into my future, right? It's like, ooh, I'm gonna have girls about this age soon. How can I approach this type of situation? I'll be closer to 70.

Laura

I didn't know you could use the Karen. I need to talk to your manager strategy to parent your kids. You can! Apparently you can! I'm not above trying this sometimes. Like, Augie, Sebastian, you guys are being really difficult right now. Do you need me to go find the manager and tell him I have two really difficult kids who are not behaving in this store?

Shanna

Oh my gosh. I can only imagine the look on my kid's face if I tried this. It would not fly. Elle would be like, what? She would not give two crap about the Ralph's manager. Would your kids?

Laura

I have no idea. I don't even know if they know what a manager is, you know? Oh, true. But what I'm cracking up thinking about is the manager's face.

Shanna

Oh, wow.

Laura

Gatekeeping, our cashiers give those out. You have to go all the way up to the manager? No, you can do both. But if you haven't gotten ready for checkout yet, you can go up to the manager and have them have a lollipop while you shop. So now that we've cleared that up, I'm going to keep this in my back pocket. I don't think this is a completely useless strategy. I don't think it's going to be particularly effective, but I'm not above it, Shanna.

Shanna

Hey, it's worth a try. I'm not judging it. It just caught me by surprise because I did not think that's what she was going to do to motivate this kid, but it worked. So listeners, give it a try if you need a little help and report back.

Laura

I have a BFP. All right. OK, my BFP stems from a conversation I had with Sebastian a few weeks ago. So he came home from TK one day and was pouting in his very stereotypical four-year-old way with his bottom lip shoved out and looking very dejected. And I was like, oh, baby, what's going on? And he was like, everyone else, everybody else can draw in my class. I can't draw. And I was like, oh, and I was like, oh, well, honey, what do you mean? He's like, they all draw so good. And I can't draw my draw. I just scribble, scrabble. And I was like, oh, sweetie. Well, and I said, you know, drawing takes practice. And I said, you know, everyone's at different skill levels. But the more you practice, the more you are going to get better at drawing and you have to practice, practice, practice, and your drawing is going to get better. I promise. And I moved on with my day.

Shanna

It looks like a little ghost with spiky hair and glasses. I don't know what it's supposed to be, but I love it. He said, mama, I drew Bart Simpson. Oh, of course, Bart Simpson with the spiky hair. And those are probably just eyes. Yeah, because Bart has big eyes.

Laura

Yeah, those are his eyes. It's not like this is going to be hung on a museum, but it's like, once you know that that was the intention, it's like, oh, yeah, of course, like that looks like Bart Simpson. Side note, we've gotten really into the Simpsons recently. Oh, nice. And then the other two are just examples of how you can start to see him getting just a little more control, you know, especially with a pen. Like there's this sort of like horse. He said it was like a robot horse.

Shanna

It totally looks like a robot horse. And it looks like there's a spaceship flying in the air above it.

Laura

Wow. Very good, Shanna. That's exactly what he wanted it to be.

Shanna

Nice. He's getting really good. It's incredible what our kids can do when they focus and put their minds on it. I love that.

Laura

And then the final one is supposed to be Michael Jackson turning into a werewolf from Thriller.

Shanna

Oh, OK. I was going to say, Petey the cat from Dog Man. But, you know, close. Oh, that's really cute. I love the creativity and like what he's picking to draw and the details he's including and stuff.

Laura

Yeah. And obviously, I don't think it's, oh my gosh, that my child is some kind of prodigy at drawing. It's been so cool to watch him focus and intentionally practice and learn it. And it's happened almost overnight. That's what's cool about it. It's not so much like, oh, look, he's just gotten older and gotten better at drawing. It's like this was on purpose. And I'm so proud of him.

Shanna

I'm proud of him too. It reminds me of when Al played softball for the first time when she was six and at first it was just kind of like the thing I do. And there was just all of a sudden and then all of a sudden a switch and she was just like, I'm going to focus. And she did. And the growth and the improvement, it was shocking to see. And I think that that's such a universal thing, especially with kids, right? When they make that choice to focus on something they're interested in, you really see that growth.

Laura

It's so cool. And it's just so different from Augie and my experience with him because Augie, his personality is such that he does not like to be told to take direction on anything. He has had to be 100% self-directed his whole life so far. And if I told him like, you need to work hard at learning how to draw, he would blow that off. He'd be like, you can't tell me what to do. So I was just like, oh, I told Sebastian to do something and he did it. Like he took my advice. It feels good, right? As a mom, you're like, wow, I do make a difference. I know. Like, oh, I can influence these children. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm really excited about it. And yeah, that's my BFP. Shanna, how about you? BFP or BFN? I have a BFP. Yay.

Shanna

Yay. Generally speaking, one of my lifelong BFPs is the library. And I love taking my kids to the library. And it's been a bummer, you know, the last couple of years in a way, because I will pick the kids up from school and be like, we're going to the library today and like going to return all those 30 books we picked out and 30 more. It's just kind of how I've always done it. So it only comes up every, I don't know, six weeks to two months or whatever. And they like it. Like once they're there, they like being there. But the initial reaction I get is almost always, oh, I don't want to go to the library. I think because I spring in on them, it's unexpected. They had their mind on something else. Who knows? It's just a negative reaction.

Laura

Man, the library is having an impact on her. She's suddenly talking like she's from like Regency era, you know? She'd been reading a lot of Austin at the library.

Shanna

I don't think so, but she's picked it up somewhere. I thought it was so cute. I've never heard her say the phrase, I'm fond of something, but it fit for the library, right? Yeah. It was so fitting. And I, like my soul was beaming when I got that reaction from the kids. I was like, yeah, they love the library. So we went and I gave the replacement book to the librarian. Elle went and picked out a few books and like sat in a beanbag chair and read for like an hour. CECE met with the volunteer reader and like read books with her for a while. And I was like, oh my gosh, this is kind of downtime for me. And so I picked up a book and I was like reading Edgar Allen Poe stories, which I haven't read in years. And it was just such a nice experience. I'm very fond of the experience.

Laura

Mother, are you also fond of the library? This is inspiring me because I have gone to the library solo the last few times to pick up books for the kids because I've just been driving by or whatever. We live so close. We can go to the Glendale Central Library. It takes us, I don't know, 10 minutes to walk there, which we should do way more often, but we don't. And they just renovated the children's area. So freaking nice. It's just so nice. So I need to get back in the habit of this. I love this idea of picking them up from school and going. I like that pattern. That sounds good.

Shanna

Yeah. It's a nice wind down after school, I've noticed, because they can't be too loud or wild at the library. I've even suggested, hey, should we go to the library after school and you can do your homework there? I'm trying. I'm really trying to get that to become a thing, but they're not interested in that yet. But I do think it would be a nice routine.

Laura

I don't think it would be as hands off for me because neither of my kids can read that independently yet. Augie's on his way, but you know, I think I'd still have to do a lot of supervision. I don't think I'm going to be reading any Edgar Allen Poe solo yet, but it does still sound fun. And I love a library. I love supporting the library. So thank you for the idea. I'm going to do this.

Shanna

You're welcome. But that's it for me. And I think that's it for our show. Yes, it is. Listeners, if you would like to support our show, please share this episode or another with one of your friends. We can continue to build this amazing VFP community that we have. And if you haven't had a chance yet, could you please do us a favor and head on over to Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Wherever you listen, leave us a five star review. Say a few things you love about the show. We might read your review on an upcoming episode. And if you have any they said what that you want to share with us, you know we would love to hear them. Laura, where can everyone find us?

Laura

We're on all the social medias at BFP podcast. We have a website, BigBatPositivePodcast.com. And if you want to send us an email, just send it to contact at BigBatPositivePodcast.com. And finally, if you want to join the coolest group of people on the internet, just search Facebook for BFP Community. It is a private group, so you got a request to join and answer the two membership questions so you know you're not a robot. But once you do that, you'll be sent straight through to all the amazing conversations we're having in there.

Shanna

Our show is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thanks for listening, everyone. Have a big, fat, positive week. Bye. Bye.