When Your Kid Spreads Rumors About You – Ep. 380

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Laura

Welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. This week, we have our weekly check-ins. We have our special segment, OMG I'm Freaking Out, where we are freaking out about trash talking and trash digging. And we close with our BFPs and BFNs for the week. Let's get started. Hello, hello, hello, everyone. Welcome to episode 380 of The Big Fat Positive, a pregnancy and parenting journey podcast. Shanna, do I have you on the line? Hi, I'm here. Hello, Shanna. All right, so it's time for our weekly check-ins. Do you want to tell me what you've been up to this week?

Shanna

I do. So I don't know if I mentioned that I signed CECE up for softball this season. Have I mentioned that?

Laura

Maybe in passing. I feel like softball has kind of come up. as a topic, but you haven't given us the full rundown of what's going on. Like I think you mentioned, oh, she mentioned she wanted to do it again, but we haven't gotten like a state of the union on what's going on with the softball. So, okay, so yeah, because I think you had mentioned something in passing about how something had happened at softball practice or whatever. But okay, so she started softball again.

Shanna

Yeah, I recall now I mentioned I went to breakfast with her one-on-one this summer and I was like, what interests you? Right? Like, what do you want to do this fall? And she was like softball and I was like, okay. While I love softball, I know that she had trouble sticking with it before resistance to going to practice, not wanting to play full games would be taking a year off of softball. And so I was like, okay, I'll keep that in the back of my mind. And I didn't sign her up right away, right? It's like $250. I didn't know like she was serious. but she kept bothering me about it. Well, not bothering, but mentioning it. Did you sign me up for softball yet? Did you sign me up? And finally, I was like, okay, this isn't going away. She really wants to play. And so like late in the season, like I was like, the last one to sign up, teams had been formed.

I was like, hey, can I sign up CECE for softball? And they were like, sure, here, we're going to put you on this team. And so it has happened. We have joined softball for the season, which means I have now committed to two practices a week and a game on Saturdays. Wow. And yeah, our life is full of candy corn crushers, which is the name of their team. Wow.

Which I love so much because they're orange and yellow and white, like that's the color of their jerseys. It's adorable.

Laura

Anyway, that's really funny. The other night, Augie asked me, he said, Mama, have you ever tried candy corn? And I was like, yeah. He's like, is it good? I was like, well, I think so. But a lot of people don't. He's like, I would like to try candy corn. I'm like, we'll make that happen, honey. We can make that happen.

Shanna

There's this mystique around candy corn with this young generation, I think, because it's not like the default thing in a bowl at this time of year, like it was when we were kids. So they find it fascinating.

Laura

I want to know from our listeners abroad whether they know what candy corn is and whether they've ever had it, because I feel like it might be a very uniquely American thing, but I might be wrong. I don't know.

Shanna

I'm curious, too. Yeah, I don't know. I love candy corn.

Laura

Oh, I love it, too. I love the texture of it. That's my favorite thing about it. It's good. I don't get the candy corn haters, you know? I love it.

Shanna

Yeah, yeah. I can only eat it in small doses. Anyway, this is not a candy corn podcast. It is now.

It is now.

Shanna

We had to miss her first game because we were in San Diego watching Savannah Bananas. But this week, she was able to go to her first game. So it was a big softball weekend.

Laura

I feel like going to the Savannah Bananas is the equivalent of like doing an educational field trip when you're in school. Like, you know, it's like, oh, well, we had to miss the game because we had to go see more ball sports. It's like, oh, it's OK. You're still learning.

Shanna

Exactly. Exactly. I mean, Her team doesn't do singing and dancing. Well, I guess they do in in the dugout, you know, cheers and stuff are very prevalent with these little girls. But anyway, and I didn't know really how it was going to go because last time she did softball, she was very young. She had just turned five and she was still having a lot of emotional regulation problems and didn't want to play and all that. I was very happy that she played the whole game. She didn't come out of the dugout and bother me. By the way, I'm not volunteering. I'm not a team parent or anything. I'm just a watcher this season.

Laura

Good, okay.

Shanna

Yeah, I'm watching from the sidelines. Healthy boundaries. Yeah. Every time she's hustling, you know, they go out to the field. She zooms out to her position. She loves running. She's really fast when she runs the bases. She says she loves the feeling of wind in her hair when she runs. So cute. It's so cute. She got some great hits. And after the game, of course, her absolute favorite part is softball, the snacks. You know, someone brings a team snack and they all had their snack and she's bonding with the other girls and it's just cute. So all in all, it turned out better than I had imagined it would. Well, that's very optimistic and positive. I like it. Yeah. Now we just have to get through the rest of the season with our three day a week commitment.

Laura

Yeah, I've been saying like I want to do baseball and I'm like I don't think we do as a family Yeah, yeah, oh my gosh

Shanna

But yeah, that's my check-in for the week. And yeah, what about you, Laura? What have you all been up to?

Laura

So my check-in this week is about Sebastian and then budding interest of his.

So recently, he's really like blossoming. I feel like in TK, you know, he's having struggles with just like missing his old school and making new friends and all that stuff. But I can tell it's good for him because he's really developing like new skills very quickly. And one of the things they do at his artsy fartsy school is that they have weekly dance classes at school. Oh, fun. Yeah. So they like every every week they have visual arts, they have theater, they have dance class, and they have music class. And I just think it's so great for them that he has a dedicated time for each one of those things. But one of the things that has sprouted up as a result is that he is suddenly so interested in dancing. Like it's so funny. We will just be walking down the street and if a car drives by playing music really loud, he starts like moving his shoulders and like doing his little moves.

It's so funny. Yeah. And he'll just want to do it like all the time. So we'll just be sitting at the table finishing up dinner and he'll turn to me says, mommy, play soda pop. I want to dance. You know, and they'll just like jump up and go out. We have one of those squishy foam mats, you know, those play mats that we had for them as babies that I think now you use outside to like be at the end of slides and stuff like that, right? We have that in the middle of our living room and that's now his dance floor. Oh, that's great. Yeah. I mean, I wasn't intentional. We brought it in there at some point for some other reason, like the kids wanted to wrestle and we're like, here, wrestle on this. But now it's just there permanently. He probably much took Corey's chagrin because he likes to have an aesthetic. You know, he's like, I want a nice rug. I want like nice bookshelves.

I'm like, here, how about this squishy mat that's all stained that has the ABCs on it?

Perfect.

Shanna

Parenting chic, that's what I call it.

Laura

I mean, it's not millennial gray, at least is all I have to say.

Shanna

Hey, got that.

Laura

But I got to show you, I put together a super cut of just one morning of dance. He was dancing all morning before we went to parkour class that day and like I was videoing most of it. And then I was like, I got to put together a cut because it's too good. So I just dropped it in our shared folder so you can see.

Shanna

Yes.

Laura

This particular dance session was inspired by the Lego Movie 2 soundtrack. I think it's mostly that song by Tiffany Haddish that's like the Bad Queen song. I don't know if you're familiar.

Shanna

I am not. I am not. But that's OK. It's actually a very funny song. Oh, dang. He is full body committed to these moves. He is so cute. Oh, it almost looks like he's doing some kind of, I don't know, martial art. What's it called kaipara or something? Kaipara, I think. Yeah. Oh, he is into it, using that vest as a bit of a prop.

Laura

Oh, yeah. He has to go. He'll be like, stop. Like, Alexa, stop. He's like, I need a jacket. I need a jacket. Oh, it was a choice. I love it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shanna

He is kicking, twirling. He's on the ground up again. He's making full use of his stage there. Oh, yes. Upstage, downstage. Oh, he whipped off his vest. Dramatic. OK, get this kid into class his stat. He is going to be the world's best backup dancer or maybe a leading dance person. I don't know.

Laura

He's got the gift. I know. I feel like I could see him on the heiress tour. You know, all those dancers were so good around Taylor Swift. There's this one guy. I've only ever seen his name written. I don't know if it's Yann or Jan, but he is a gorgeous and he is such a good dancer. I'm gonna have to send you some of his TikToks or Instagram dances later. So just private viewing. But obviously, Sebastian is his own person. We don't want to compare him to anyone because he's not like anyone. He's his own man. Yes. But he loves it. And it's just so fun to see. And that's been what's been making me smile this week. He's just the cutest. And it's so sweet how much he wants to dance.

Shanna

Oh, man. I just love how he gets his full body into it. Like that's what makes a great dancer, right? When people really commit and just show emotion and passion in their moves. Like when I dance, I can like barely lift my hands above my shoulders because I'm just like, Like I feel insecure and I'm like, I remember doing musical theater, you know, as a tween. And they're like, do this barrel turn, you know, like showing me like the glory of the barrel turn move. And I'm like, just kind of twirling in position. It was so bad in the back.

Laura

You're the elbows in, hands in a fist, little shoulder shake kind of dancer.

Shanna

Yes, yes. Unless I'm drunk, then watch out. Look out, world.

Oh, yes, I'm loving this for Sebastian. I cannot wait to come to his first recital whenever that may be.

Laura

Yes, we will see. But for now, that is my check in, and I think it's time to move on to our special segment. What do you think? I think we should. Let's barrel roll right into it.

Shanna

We are back, and this week's special segment is OMG I'm Freaking Out, where we share the things that have been raising our cortisol levels recently in regards to parenting, which, I mean, is like everything, it's like my baseline of life, but there are a few that stand out more than others. Laura, you're up first. What's your OMG I'm Freaking Out?

Laura

Okay, my OMG I'm freaking out is the situation that happened in Chuck E. Cheese, actually. Okay, picture this. I'm at Chuck E. Cheese, it's me and the two kids and I'm there with my friend Kate and her son. And my boys both need to go to the bathroom and so do I. So I was like, all right, let's go to the bathroom. So I peel them away from their video games because it's very hard to get them to stop playing even when they have to pee really bad. So you know they had to go really bad. Yes. Get them away from the video games. Of course, the bathroom is in the far corners. We're like hustling to get there. Thankfully, the accessible bathroom was open. There was no one waiting. So I was like, let's go into the big one because there's three of us and then we all need to go. And so, Augie goes first, then Sebastian, then I'm like, okay, it's mommy's turn.

And they're just standing around while I go pee, right?

Shanna

That's the dangerous time, right? Because you never know what they're going to do. Look under stalls, whatever.

Laura

Look under stalls is the least of my concerns right now because let me tell you what happened, Shanna. So usually that is the thing, right? Like they're like, what's over there? And I'm like, don't look under. It's not polite. Like just stand there and I'm going to be done in a second and we're going to go, right? And usually when I'm fielding our questions from Sebastian about my vulva, like, what does it look like? Can I look at it? No, you know, like we've talked about this before. And so usually I'm prepared for that sort of discussion, right? No. What happened next, I was not at all prepared for, which was I was sitting on the toilet peeing and I look over at Sebastian and he is reaching for the trash can, like the little trash receptacle that's in the wall.

Oh.

Laura

of the bathroom. But what he notices, and I don't, is that it's broken at the bottom. So the trash is like spilling out of the bottom of the trash receptacle, you know? Like there's a crack in it or whatever. Yeah. My four. a half-year-old little boy while I am like mid-stream pee reaches over and from the bottom of the trash can in the women's bathroom at the Chuckie Cheese with his bare hands pulls out a used tampon.

No. And I flipped out. Oh my god. And I'm not like a germophobe in general. Like I am pretty relaxed when it comes to washing our hands. Obviously we wash our hands after we go to the bathroom and all that stuff, but I'm not a person who is really like overly concerned about what my kids touch, you know, they're playing in the dirt, whatever, right?

Shanna

You're not standing next to them at the sink with a 20 second timer making sure they scrub every single germ off?

Laura

I'm not, although I probably should, based on this story. This might be the thing that tips me over the edge, because what are they doing when I'm not around? But of course, okay, so I'm sitting there. Again, picture this. Augie's like in one corner of the bathroom. Sebastian is over by me looking at the trash can. I am like, again, midstream of pee and he grabs this and I start yelling. I'm like, Sebastian! Drop that like gross do not touch that and he like he's like what what right like he doesn't understand He just thinks it's a cool-looking thing and I

I'm like, don't touch anything. So I'm rushing to like try to stop P, but you know, you can't just like stop midstream, especially when you really have to go. So I'm like, just don't touch anything. You know, his hand is like moving towards his face to rub his eye or his nose. I'm like, don't do it. Wait, has he dropped it? Has he dropped it? He's dropped it, thankfully, because my screaming, I think startled him enough. You know, I don't scream at them that much. I rarely really raise my voice at them. So when it's a real emergency, it actually works for me. That story I told recently about when Augie was having a meltdown about needing to sign something in the car and he didn't have anything, and he screamed at the top of his lungs and I got stern with him. That stopped him in his tracks. I mean, it made him upset, but it happened so infrequently that thankfully,

I still have that as like a ace up my sleeve, you know? Sure. So he drops it, but he's like, you know, these kids touch their face every five seconds. To be fair, so do I. Like I touch my face constantly. Everyone, everyone's always like, you shouldn't touch your face. I'm like, you what? You what now? Like I am like, I'm just basically like hands all over my face all the time. So I get it. But I'm like, don't touch your face. He's like, don't do it. I was like, get hands up, hands. Put your hands in the air. Like just keep them there. And so I'm like trying to wipe and Augie is like starting to get worried too. He's like, what did he do? He didn't, man, he's like trying to defend Sebastian, which is very sweet. He's like, he just picked something up. I was like, I was like, it's not safe. It's just, what you picked up is not safe. And I'm like trying to explain to them.

And I was just like, ah. So anyway, I wipe, I like usher us out of the bathroom. And I'm like, you have to wash really good. Like we have to wash for a long time. I'm like scrubbing his hands myself. I turn into that parent with the timer. I'm like, we are doing like, three soaps were like getting under your nails. And they're looking at me completely baffled because, you know, they know trash is dirty, but they didn't understand why I was freaking out so much because the other thing is they don't really have that much experience with like menstrual products.

Because I don't really get a period because I'm on my marina and I was breastfeeding for all that time and like I just I don't get a period really so like every once in a while I'll get some spotting but not enough to like get them used to seeing it like they don't know what it is as much and I've tried to explain to them but it's all very abstract. So I was just like, oh my gosh, I centered myself. I kind of like shook the ick off of me. And by the way, I don't want people thinking that I'm freaking out because it was a menstrual product, right? Like I don't want people thinking, oh, she's freaking out because it's gross, because it's a period product. It's like, no, I was freaking out because it's like a pathogen, right? Like a potential vector. Yeah, blood, exactly. I'm like, I don't know what kind of bloodborne diseases anyone has here or, you know, it's just like,

there's a difference between it being like, ew, icky gross. I mean, like, ew, that's potentially dangerous, gross, right?

So anyway, I get them all scrubbed up. I wash my hands for about, like, 20 minutes, even though I wasn't the one who picked it up. I was just like, like, out damn spot. We go back to Chuck E. Cheese, which, to be fair, is also a disease vector in and of itself. But at least probably not blood born. We finish up the day once I'm calm again and after like oh I go out there and I'm like oh my god Kate. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. My boys. Just touched a huge tampon. It was so good. After I calmed down a little bit and I got them back to the car at the end of the Chuck E. Cheese session, I was like, Hey guys, I need to talk to you about why I freaked out so much in the bathroom.

And I tried to explain, you know, I was like, you know, when they're, you know, people who have uteruses often have a period and a period is when you like shed your uterine lining and there's blood and blood can carry disease. And That's why I freaked out because you were touching something that had someone else's blood on it and you never want to touch someone else's blood. And I start trying to tell them like, you never, you know, if your friend is bleeding, you don't want to touch their blood, but you know, like, well, and yeah, um, I don't know if I handled it particularly well, but I do think Sebastian will never grab anything out of a bathroom trash can again.

Shanna

Yeah, no, I think that he's gonna remember that one for life, even if it's just like a body sense memory deep down inside forever.

Laura

He's gonna have like a phobia of trash cans in bathrooms. He doesn't know why. Every time I see one, my heart rate goes way up.

Shanna

He's like working it out with his therapist. Oh my gosh. Well, okay, I have like a few questions. First of all, was it wrapped up? Because you know, like, oh, when I used tampons, I would wrap it up and then put it in. Was it a wrapped up thing or was it just like a raw hot dog without a bun?

Laura

the second one. Yeah, it was not wrapped up. I mean, maybe it had been at some point, but it had gotten to the bottom of the trash can that was like overflowing, right? So if it had ever had a wrapping around it, it was long gone.

Shanna

Right. And sticking with the hot dog analogy, I don't want to be too... Yeah, that's not gross at all. Yeah, yeah. How much ketchup was on the hotdog? I mean, was it like a big jumbo dog? Was it a super absorbency dog or like a light day's dog?

Laura

It was a medium ketchup job. Yeah. So that was the other thing I was hoping that it wasn't like, it wasn't, you know, there was white still there. So. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shanna

Oh man oh man I think that you're gonna have to do some kind of dramatic reenactment not of this situation but of like here's what period products are kids and like maybe get a tampon dip in some water with red food that maybe so they know I don't know I don't know either I don't know how maybe they don't need this education I don't know

Laura

I think they should. I saw a TikTok recently of a mom explaining period blood to her son, and it made me think that I needed to up my game because she was showing how she had gotten some blood on her pants, and she was using hydrogen peroxide to clean it and all the stuff. She was doing such a great job explaining it to him, and then she moved into, and if you ever see a girl at your school, and they have blood on your pants, what are you gonna do? And he's like, not make fun of them. It's like, yeah. And he's like, and you talked to them about it. And the kid was like, only if I can get them quietly alone. And I just have to, just to let them know in case they don't know. And you know, like, I was just like, man. I need to do something like that. Obviously.

Shanna

I mean, they're still young, so I think it's okay. But yeah, it's good to, you know, have an idea in your mind that that's something you want to do.

Laura

So does hydrogen peroxide help get blood out of clothes? Sure does. Yeah, that's the hot tip. Once when I was in college, oh, I'm going to name drop. I never name drop, but like, this is so fun for me because it's weird for me that he's famous now. So I don't know if you ever watched The Gilded Age, but for anyone out there who watches The Gilded Age, I went to college with Morgan Spector. He was my friend in theater there. And he's like one of the.

Shanna

I feel like you definitely name dropped this guy on our show before. I think you have.

Laura

Well, let me tell you my favorite story about Morgan's vector. So I love that it's related to period blood. No, no, it's not period blood. It's just blood. So I hope God Morgan, please don't kill me for name dropping you on this story. So we were in I was doing lighting on a play that he was in with our other friend Toby and he and Toby were like supposed to be in this fake sword fight. And they, I think it was Toby. Yeah, Toby was wearing gold lame pants. Like it was supposed to be this like 1920s something or other play. And he and Toby, Morgan and Toby are getting in a knife fight and then Toby is supposed to like get fake stabbed in the stomach and he's supposed to say, oh, I've been run through the gut, right? And then he goes off stage.

So I'm watching on one of the nights of the show and I see someone slip and Toby grabs his thigh, his like upper thigh, presses really hard on it and says, I'm run through the thigh. And I was like, guys, I'm on the monitor, you know, talking to the stage director. And I was like, hey, guys, I think something's wrong with Toby. Like I think Toby got stabbed. And they're like, no, no, no, it just it looked like it went that way. So he's such a good actor. He's he's, you know, covering up for it, right? And I was like, ah, I don't think so. And then two seconds later, when he like hobbles offstage, I hear the stage manager being like, okay, we're going to intermission now. And like, we all scrambled to do our cues. Well, it turns out Morgan had accidentally stabbed Toby in the thigh. And Toby had these gold lame pants on that were just completely soaked with blood, right? Oh my gosh.

Toby did finish the show, which is amazing. They like, wow, put a bunch of bandages on him and he finished the show. And my friend Heather was on costumes for the show. And so she was tasked with getting all the blood out of Toby's pants. And she told me hydrogen peroxide took care of it, even on gold lame. So there you go.

Shanna

The more you know. The more you know. That's amazing. Shouldn't they have been using like a prop dagger that didn't actually stab flesh?

Laura

They should have, yeah.

Shanna

I think that's the biggest lesson here.

Laura

You know, during the warm up that day, I was like chatting with Morgan and he had his sword with him. It was like a cane sword, right? You're like, take it out of the cane and it's a sword. And I was like, that looks really sharp. He's like, oh no, but it's safe as long as you do this, this. Famous last words. But everyone's fine in the end. And Morgan is now starring in an HBO show. So we're proud of you, Morgan. And I'm glad you didn't seriously injure Toby. I'm glad you got that blood out. Good job, Heather. Hydrogen peroxide. All right. So that is why I was freaking out. Yeah. I think it was a legitimate freak out. I think it was not unfounded. And yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. Okay. That was my OMG. I'm freaking out. Does yours involve blood? No.

Shanna

Good. The other day I picked the girls up from school, brought them home. They were hanging out around the house and I hopped back on my computer to get back to work. And I'm working, yada, yada, yada, things are fine. And Elle comes up to me and says, oh, I told Olivia, Olivia is a friend of hers at school. She's known this girl for a couple years. They're pretty good friends. Okay. Okay. Elle comes up to me and says, oh, I told Olivia that you said she has anger issues.

And I was like, er, record stop, work stop, finger stop. And I turned my head. I'm like, excuse me. I'm like. Why would you do that? She's like, I don't know. But I told her. And she told her mom that you said she had anger issues. And I'm like, oh my god. Oh my god. Internally, I am flipping out. Because, OK, first of all, I never said Olivia had anger issues. That's not her real name, by the way. But that's what we're calling her on the show. Yeah. I never said Olivia had anger issues, okay? So I don't know where this is coming from. I'm so confused. And I mortified, right? This is the mix of emotions, because I know Olivia's mom, she's been to my house several times for parties. We've connected and talked about a lot of stuff over the years. And Elle said, Olivia told me that her mom says, mind your own business. So I'm like,

Getting messages through the grapevine about a thing I never said. And now the mom thinks I said this and like wants me to mind my own business, which 100%, right? If I was talking shit about her eight year old, she has a right to be like mind your own business, right? I'd say the same thing, but also I'm like, but this lady knows me and I don't know what is happening. And so I took a deep breath and tried my hardest to not flip out on L and be like, what is happening? You know, I was just like a kid. Kids are going to be kids. I'll figure this out. But first things first, I dropped everything, every task for the day. I'm like, I need to reach out to this mom immediately and clear this up because this is mortifying. And I didn't want to texture because it felt like my message was a little bit too long and we're not on like calling terms or anything like that.

So I opened up my email and I spent like an hour crafting an email. Oh my gosh. But I wanted it to be perfect.

Laura

I get wanting to make it perfect because there's a balance here. You want to exonerate yourself, first of all. You want to let her know that you would never say this about her kid or any kid. But if you push too hard, if you say it wrong, it just sounds like you're trying to make excuses, right? And trying to cover your own ass. So how to... And then you also don't want it to be like, feel like you're flipping it on her. Like, how dare you say, mind your own business back to me. You know what I mean? Like, it's a fine. It's a delicate process. It's a delicate balance. So I get that. But also hilarious to think of like, you know, when people are like, why are moms so busy? Like you can just multitask. You can just get shit done. It's like, oh, did your whole day get derailed because your nine year old told

told you that you told her friend that you said something you didn't say, so now you have to spend an hour writing an email to the other parent? Did that happen to you today?

Shanna

Yes, exactly. Oh my goodness. So I'm crafting this email and it occurred to me like, I think I need to understand where this even came from. Right? So I stopped the email to go talk to Elle. And that's another delicate situation because she can get very emotional and defensive. And I didn't want her to feel like I was criticizing her or making her feel bad for this in any way. I was just curious. Hey, I'm just so curious. Why did you say she has anger issues? When did you think I said that and trying really hard to not be like, where did this come from? That type of tone? Because I had to walk a fine line. And she's like, I don't know. And I'm like, but it must have come from somewhere. What was it?

And finally, after a lot of this back and forth of very carefully negotiating this situation, she was like, well, it's from what I was telling you about when Olivia spritzed me with perfume at school. And I'm like, oh. And so I remembered a conversation we had in the car. It's kind of an offhand conversation. We were driving back from somewhere the previous day or two. And the both girls were there chatty chatty chatty. I mean they talk over each other about I'm trying to concentrate on driving and I remember now at a certain point I was like oh yeah so and so has perfume and I don't really know if I like the smell of perfume and Olivia spritz me with perfume and I didn't like it and she just kept like coming after me with perfume. And I said something like, oh, sounds like she needs to work on her boundary issues because also needs to work on boundary issues. You know what I mean?

Like at this age, especially they're all learning to navigate their personal boundaries and bubble space. And it was really offhanded. It wasn't even a thing like this is something we need to take seriously. It was just like, oh, she's probably working on that. You know, yeah.

Laura

And you were probably were thinking about it in regards to L, like, oh, I can show her that someone else also has boundary challenges, right? And so like, oh, I'll bring it up as like everyone's going through this, but in her nine year old brain is like. My mom. Yes. Oh God. Yes. They hear everything. Like every time, I mean, they don't let us know they hear everything. Like I will just be talking to Augie and it looks like it's just right over his head. And then weeks later, he'll be like, but you remember mommy, you said, and he'll like, say it back verbatim to me. And I'll be like, you literally gave me a no indication that you were even awake, let alone listening to me. And here you're quoting it back to me. You have to be so careful what we say around them. Oh my gosh.

Shanna

Yeah. So, I mean, not only was this particular situation like alarming, it's the realization that these kids say things about me, you know, to others. Yeah. That may or may not be true. Another, a CECE for some reason lately has been like, Mama, you do not wash your hands after you go to the bathroom. I'm like, what are you even talking about? Because I'll be like, wash your hands. She's like, you don't wash your hands. I'm like, what are you talking about? So I'm like, she's probably off telling people, well, my mom doesn't wash her hands. You know what I mean? Who knows? Who knows?

Laura

It's like those TikToks. Have you ever seen them where someone will recreate the things their kids said out of context to their teachers at school? Yeah.

Shanna

Oh, it's so embarrassing.

Laura

Oh my god. Oh my gosh. Okay. So did you get the email out though?

Shanna

I finally got the email out. I apologized for the miscommunication and reassured her that I did not say that. I would never say that about her child and that I finally pulled out the, you know, where it came from, from Alan explain the situation, et cetera. And I sent that off and I was on pins and needles all night. Like, oh my gosh, how is she going to react to that? I don't want to like ruin this friendship. And she wrote back the next morning and it was just a wonderful kind email. She's like, thank you so much for reaching out. It can be hurtful to hear things about your child and no hard feelings. I understand our kids are working through things and I'm glad to have your partnership in parenting these girls of ours. And so I was able to repair it and that's nice. And I've seen the mom since and it really is no hard feelings. Oh, good.

That like nine hours of my life was a little bit like, yeah.

Laura

Yeah. That's so stressful. Yeah. And I wish I could be one of those people who's like, well, if they think bad things about me, but it's because they're misinformed, that's on them. But I am not one of those people. I'm like, I need to make them like me.

Shanna

Yeah.

Laura

But I feel like you handled it perfectly. Oh, thank you. That was like a model way of figuring out how to manage this because it could have escalated, right? Like, you could have been like, wait, mind your own business. Like, I can't believe you think I would say something like that. And then next thing you know, you guys are releasing diss tracks about each other, you know?

Shanna

You know me, I love writing diss tracks. It's the only kind of music I write about other parents. Oh man. I'm glad that that situation is over and like the water is under the bridge on that, but I'm definitely on alert for future misrepresentations of myself via my children.

Laura

You know, it is a good idea, though, to start saying really nice things about your kid's friends in front of your kid, because maybe they'll go start repeating that, and then you can be like the super supportive parent, right, you know?

Shanna

Yeah, right, Laura. I mean, I am glad that you're so optimistic, but I feel like that would probably end up backfiring.

Laura

Okay, maybe just don't talk about your kid's friends at all.

Shanna

Yes, exactly. My word. All right. Well, it was good to get all those OMGs off our chest.

Laura

Indeed. Yes, it was. And I think it might be time to move on to our BFPs and BFNs. What do you think? It is.

We are back and we close every episode with a Big Fat Positive or a big fat negative of the week. And Shanna, it's your turn to go first. Do you have a BFP or a BFN?

Shanna

I have a BFP. Yay. Yay. My BFP is this inflatable waterslide that I bought for my kids for our backyard. It's awesome. It's the best $99 I've spent in a long time. often I'll buy big ticket items for my kids and they play with them for five minutes and you know, they never touch them again. But I bought this slide because we were going to host a Labor Day barbecue with you guys and some other friends and then all got sick and we couldn't have the barbecue or whatever.

Laura

The best way to guarantee one of your kids getting sick is to plan a barbecue because this has happened so many times.

Shanna

I used so many times. But I was excited about that barbecue, right? We have our little pool and I got this slide. I wanted the kids to have a lot of fun because it was really hot and I installed ministers around our patio. I was ready for this barbecue. Didn't happen. Anyway, I set the slide up anyway for my girls and it's about 15 feet long. It's not too huge because my backyard is a little narrow. I had to do a lot of research to find an inflatable slide that fit our yard. And I took a chance on this one. Didn't have very many reviews, but it came. It's perfect fit. It's pretty narrow, but it's 15 feet long. One end inflates up pretty high, about three feet high. And then they can slide down. It comes with these little inflatable, we call them boogie boards. That's kind of what they look like.

Laura

Oh, yeah. I know what you're talking about. When we were in Portland, my mom got a slip and slide that had the same kind of thing, like a little raft. that they can slide on. Yeah.

Shanna

Yeah. A low raft with handles and it makes the sliding better because then like their skin doesn't stick to them.

Laura

Yeah. Sliding. I mean that is a childhood rite of passage though, isn't it? Getting completely skinned by your toys.

Shanna

Absolutely. Absolutely. So you hook this thing to the hose and it like sprays water. It's really cool. And my girls love it. Like love it even more than I thought they would. They have spent hours on it. They've played on it every day after school. They've come home. They've played outside, which is a miracle in this day and age. Yeah, they play on it. It's just awesome. So that's my BFP. And I will share the link. But if you want to know the specifics, it's called Inflatable Water Slide with Sprinkler for Kids, 15 feet water slide with two inflatable surf riders. And it's from a company called We Enjoy. But it looks like We In I N Joy. So it sounds like you've got P in your joy. It's a choice. But it's on Amazon. It's a great product. Highly recommend.

Laura

You know, Shanna, it's a choice to recommend a water slide heading into, I think this episode airs the beginning of October.

Shanna

So perfect season, right? Is that what you're saying?

Laura

Here's what I'll say. Not the best timing for anyone in a colder climate in the Northern Hemisphere, but I bet our Australian listeners are very happy to hear this because I bet they can get a similar kind and they're heading into their warm weather. I mean, although it's warm, I feel like, is all of Australia warm all the time? Someone write in and let me know. I've never been. But that does sound very fun. I really want to come over so my kids can play in it too.

Shanna

So, you better invite us over. Okay, putting it on my to-do list. All right, that's mine. What do you got for us? Bfp or Bfn?

Laura

I also have a Bfp. Yay. Okay, so my Bfp is a little bit podcast related actually. So I'm sure I mentioned it a few episodes back that like, oh guys, my sound might sound a little different because I have a new mic and like we're working on the audio or whatever, right? I gave a little caveat in case it sounded weird or different. So my new setup is in my office, which is really nice, because I used to record in my bedroom closet, which is great for audio, but not great for spontaneous recording, right? Because I'd have to get really set up. I'd have to cramp myself into the closet, get the chair set up. It was really cramped. It was just not an ergonomic situation, and it was annoying to be in there. So I finally got a new setup where I have like this boom arm that holds a mic that's on my desk, right? So I can just set up right at my desk and record and it's great.

But there has been a unexpected benefit of having my mic in my office, which is my kids have discovered it, which you may think is a bad thing, which it could be partially a bad thing because like I have to be like, don't touch it, don't touch it. That's mommy's work mic. Like leave it alone. It's expensive. But it has inspired them to do more recording of their own, right? Oh, cute. I love getting their voices on audio. It's the cutest, sweetest thing, but the opportunity didn't present itself very often when my mic was in my closet. And they just wouldn't see it, and it was kind of a pain to get everyone in there. But now we can just sort of sit down at my desk, hit record, and get some audio. And it's been so cute and so fun. And so I sent you a little bit of both of them recording. They call it their podcast. Amazing. Oh, I can't wait to hear. OK.

So the first one I sent you is Sebastian. OK.

Speaker 1

I am blue. I am blue. I am blue. I am blue. I am blue. I am blue. I am blue. I am blue. I am blue. I am blue. I am blue. I am blue. Make it a splurging of bar bars in the fire when you don't get a sub. No. But nobody thinks. Splurge Sheeps with Matcha Mancha. And Trill is Blasted with Matcha Mall. With Mickey Mouse with Trouble and... With Real Head with Batcha Bar.

Shanna

Oh, I love his little voice. I don't know what that podcast is about. But I love listening to it.

Laura

Neither does he. OK, I just want people to know that it's mostly gibberish and he knows that like he does speak in full sentences. He just he I think he was like performing what he thought was like what a podcast should be in his head. And it was I don't I don't really understand what it is. But it's his little voice is so cute. And then I got some Augie on tape, too. Because I, I, I, interstop.

Speaker 2

Whoa, those are some mad skills. He can beatbox.

Shanna

I know he can beatbox.

Laura

How unexpected is that? What? You didn't know he could do that? Not a clue. Not a clue. Okay, I do kind of want to combine them, like put them into tracks and try to make an actual song out of it. So we'll see if I can do that. But yes, do it. But yeah, it's been really cute. You know, and the other benefit of it is that they sit on my lap when they do it. So you get the snuggles, you know? Love the snuggles. Yeah, I know. I love the snuggles. So yeah, it's been a BFP to have my mic in my office, not just because it's easier for us to record, but also because it's easier for the kids to record.

Shanna

That's a great BFP. I love it.

Laura

Thank you. All right. But that is it for my BFP. And I think that is it for our show. It sure is.

Shanna

Listeners, if you have any OMGs I'm freaking out, you want to share with us, we would love to hear them. Laura, where can everyone find us?

Laura

We're on all the social medias at BFP Podcast. We have a website, bigfatpositivepodcast.com. If you want to send us an email, you can send it to contact at bigfatpositivepodcast.com. And finally, if you want to join the coolest group of people on the internet, just search Facebook for Big Fat Positive Community. It is a private group, so you've got a request to join and answer the two membership questions. So we know you're not a robot, but once you do that, you'll be sent straight through to all the amazing, wonderful conversations we're having in there.

Shanna

Our show is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thanks for listening, everyone. Have a big, fat, positive week. Bye. Bye.

When Your Kid Spreads Rumors About You – Ep. 380

October 13, 2025

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This episode's sponsors:

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Episode Transcript

When Your Kid Spreads Rumors About You – Ep. 380

October 13, 2025

Listen Now:

This episode's sponsors:

Whisker Litter-Robot

Once Upon a Dance

Tags

Episode Transcript