Hiring Your First Non-Family Babysitter – Ep. 377

Shanna

Hi, welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. On this week's episode, we have our weekly check-ins, we have our special segment, Mom Wins, where we celebrate some encounters with receptionists and robots, and we wrap it up with our weekly BFPs and BFNs. Let's get started. Hello, everyone! Welcome to Episode 377! Hi, Laura! Hello, Shanna! Hello! Why don't you give us your check-in for the week?

Laura

Okay, so my check-in involves you and your beautiful family.

Shanna

Amazing.

Laura

I didn't realize you came up with that at 9 p.m. Wow. It actually, I think it was 8 because Michael's closed at 9 and I got there before they closed. So it had to have been around 8. I got home around 9. Oh my gosh. after procuring four little black T-shirts and some holographic vinyl to iron on to the shirts. I went on Etsy and was able to find some SVG files. Some like SVGs are like scalable vector graphics. Some just files that go into my cricket, right? You're familiar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I whipped together two Huntrix shirts and two Saja Boyz shirts for my boys. and surprised your girls with them when you came for the screening. And oh boy, were they hits.

Shanna

Yes, they were so cool. These shirts are awesome. I maybe need you to make one for me. But yeah, the girls loved in that they all looked so cute in them. And we definitely need to share a photo on social so everyone can see.

Laura

Yeah. The four of them together in their K-pop Demon Hunter shirts were so cute. And the screening was so fun. We were in the very front row, which was a lot. Oh, boy. Yeah. It was immersive. Yeah. But it was so cute during the movie looking over and seeing Augie and Alan Cece just like singing along to the whole movie. And you know, your girls can read the subtitles. Augie is not there yet, but he was still singing along and having a grand old time. Yeah, he probably had most of it memorized the way these kids and their memories work. Oh, I mean, he's speaking Korean basically at this point because he'll just sing some of the songs back to me and he sings the Korean parts. And I'm just like, wow, OK. Nice. From, you know, ear. He's just singing it as though it were because it is just naturally part of the song. And I'm just like, OK. Oh, that's amazing.

Shanna

Oh my gosh, that's right. It's so funny because when we walked in and went up to the host stand, I was like, oh, that's interesting. There's like a box fan here, huh? And didn't really register that there were about 15 all over the restaurant until like we sat down and ordered and then we're like, God, it's hot in here. I'm like, oh, there's a lot of fans. OK.

Laura

But at that point, we had committed like the kids were in their own little booth, which also was so adorable. and doing their little coloring pages and just chatting with each other. And we're like, well, we can't leave now. So we sweated through it. We did.

Shanna

It was fine. It was so cute to see the four of them in a booth together. It's like, ah, kids first dinner out together as a friend group is really what it looked like.

Laura

As long as we could get over the guilt we felt for the people sitting behind them. I know. It was OK. We were nearby. We kept on going. We were like, Augie, your elbows need to stay in your booth.

Shanna

Oh man it was so fun and man I just really loved that movie so much it was the first time I'd seen it beginning to end like and understood the story and how the songs fit in with the story and I was like choked up by the end like by the big climactic scene I was like oh my god this movie is amazing Um, so I'm an even bigger fan now that I was before.

Laura

I know me too. I've seen, I had seen the entire movie, but not pieced together. So I definitely was missing some context, but then this was the first time I was able to watch it all the way through. Sebastian was like crawling all over me for most of the movie, but I think I got the gist. But yeah, it's just it really is such a good movie. I'm so happy that it's getting recognized and is such a big cultural phenomenon because it deserves it in my opinion. Yes. And it's really bringing people together. Like it's just it's just so fun. I love it. So yes, all together a very, very fun day. I agree. So that's my check in.

Shanna

Shanna what do you have to check in about since I just kind of stole half of half of your weekend check in nothing nothing else happened all week that was the only thing just kidding well this week at my kids school was back to school night which is when parents can come Meet the teacher see a little presentation about what's gonna happen in fourth grade and first grade in my kids case and as usual they're like no kids allowed. What is that it's just truly. Untenable. It's so hard. I mean, I get it because I think it would be a massive distraction and it is nice to just have adults in there so that you can really focus on what the teacher is saying and everything. But it does make it hard. Like in the past several years, I was the only person who went back to school night and Steve stayed home with the kids.

Laura

What was your first clue?

Shanna

Yeah, I don't know. So I told Claudia how excited they were. She's like, oh my heart, I'm so excited. And so it was a really fun opportunity for the girls to have their first official out of family babysitter that we've hired. Because of course I was not going to have Claudia do it for free even though she kindly offered. But yeah, so we tried it out. She came over. She helped the kids do homework. She made them dinner, relaxed and watched some TV with them, got them ready for bed. It was amazing.

Laura

I am a big fan of having a babysitter do dinner and bedtime. We have been having a former pre-school teacher from Augustine Sebastian's preschool do babysitting for us here and there when my mom's not in town. And it's just like they get the job done better than a grandma. No offense to the grandmas. The grandmas do amazing things, but the grandmas are easily manipulated. You know what I mean? Like the grandmas, their love for the kids is easily manipulated into like more screen time. later nights and Sherry, I'm not really talking about you. I'm talking about my mom in case you're listening.

Shanna

Yeah. And with the counselor and a preschool teacher, I'm sure there's already that sense of authority, right? Claudia is an authority figure already for my girls. So. That was perfect. We had hired her till about 7.30. But the back to school night ended at like 6.30. And Steve and I were like, oh man, we got to make the most of this time. What do we do? Let's go on a date. I was like, you know what? We really need some groceries. So we went on a date to Trader Joe's. Oh man.

Shanna

That could have been so much better. But when we got home, the girls were not in bed. We didn't task Claudia with that. But they were ready for bed, brushed, jammies, everything. And they were doing their nails. She was painting their nails. And they were having a little spa day. It was so sweet. It was really cute, wonderful. Oh, and the back to school night was great too. My kids' teachers are lovely. And I think first and fourth grade will just go swimmingly. Awesome. Well, what a great check in. Yeah. All right. Well, that's it for me. Shall we move on to our special segment? Yes, we should.

Laura

We are back and our special segment this week is Mom Wins, where Shanna and I share some big wins we've had recently in our parenting lives. Shanna, you are up first. Do you have a mom win to share with us? Yeah, yeah, I do.

Shanna

Okay, this little story happened actually back when my family went up to Lake Arrowhead in February. If you remember that trip, we went up to play in the snow and all of that. And it's less about like something I did that was a success. And it's more like, I feel like it's a testament to how I have raised my kids, maybe. Like it makes me feel good about how I've raised my kids, that my kids acted a certain way in this situation. Does that make sense?

Laura

Yeah, absolutely. Something that reflects well on your parenting.

Shanna

Yeah, yeah, exactly. So we got up to Lake Arrowhead pretty early in the day, maybe like 11, maybe noon, and we went to our inn. It was like an inn in Cabins in Lake Arrowhead. You know, whenever we get in early somewhere, we usually like to ask if we can do an early check-in. So we get to this inn and we go into the check-in reception area slash restaurant area. It's very nice, cute, little rustic inn. And a woman was working there. I assumed she was like the manager, assistant manager or something, and nobody else was in the place whatsoever. And we walk in, she's like, hello. And we're like, oh, hi. Steve was like, we're here just, you know, early wondering if we might be able to check in a little early and put our stuff in our room if that's available. She's like, nope, that's not available. Nope, you'll have to come back at check-in time, which was like four, right?

Laura

Oh my gosh. So funny. It's also like. I get it, their rules are the rules and that's how things work and they can't just let everyone go into rooms early because then they have to let everyone go into rooms early and blah, blah, blah. But also you're like, you didn't want to make the exception when you saw that we were people with young children. But once you were charmed by the young children, it was okay. Like, I don't know. It just like makes me roll my eyes, but I'm so glad your kids unlocked that for you.

Shanna

Yeah. Yeah. It was so funny. And I mean, the reason it's a mom win is because obviously it's like my kids win. But as a mom, I'm like, I try to raise them to be friendly, outgoing, feel confident, you know, expressing themselves to people and talking to people and strangers. And I think it's so cool that they can do that. And I don't know. I just thought that was really cool. So I'm taking a little bit of that win for myself because it made me feel proud. that I have children who can just engage with adults in a nice way.

Laura

Yeah, I don't know. That's it. It's as simple as that. And they have enough self-confidence that they feel like an adult would be interested in what they have to say. You know, it just goes to show that you and Steve have always been interested in what they have to say and have never made it feel like what they're talking about is an interesting. And so they've internalized that what I have to say is interesting, so I must share it with everyone. But that's good, right? They've never been shamed for sharing their feelings or their thoughts.

Shanna

Yeah. And that truly is something I value as a person and as a parent. I think that self-expression is a wonderful thing. And I want to encourage my kids to do it. So it was nice to see that out in the wild. That's so nice.

Laura

Yeah. But what about you, Laura? Do you have a mom win for us? I do. So mine is back on the K-pop demon hunter's bandwagon. So as I discussed in the check-in, I had a late night hankering for some cricketing or for some shirt making. And we made the shirts and they were really cute. And that day that we all hung out and had lunch and saw the movie and all that stuff, Augie actually had been invited to be a plus one for his best friend at school's sister's birthday party. Let me see if I'm explaining that properly. So his best friend from school's sister. was having a birthday party at their house and his best friend was allowed to invite one friend to like be with him. So he wouldn't just be like the little brother tagging along, right? Right, that's nice. It's nice, just super nice. And so Augie was invited and he was really excited to go.

Shanna

So cool. Did Augie jump to telling everyone my mom made this? Or did you have to be like, oh, oh, I'm the one who made that shirt? You know what I mean? Like, did you have to self promote?

Laura

No, thankfully, well, it's so funny, because he was completely taken by surprise by this. I think he had forgotten, he was even wearing the shirt, you know? And he was just sort of like looking at these girls like, what are they all? Oh yeah, that shirt. And so they're like, oh my gosh, where did you get that shirt? That shirt is so cool. Oh my gosh, can I see it? And they're like, where'd you get it? And he was like, oh, my mom made it. You know, like just very like nonchalant under his breath. They're like, what? You made it? Oh my gosh. That was just like, oh yeah, yeah. tossing my hair. Just I just I whipped it together last night, you know. Yeah. With my tools. No big deal. No big deal. I'm not I'm not basking in this every moment like this is a salve to my ego.

Shanna

Oh, they are so cool. I mean, maybe you should just start taking orders. So I have taken an order for a friend of mine.

Laura

I'm not like I'm not making a profit off of them. I was like, I don't want to become like a cottage industry about this. Like I don't want to start making a bunch of these, but I'll make three more for your three kids, you know, and you just pay me what the materials cost or whatever. So I've got those coming. But yeah, it was a it was a big win for sure. Yeah, that's exciting. But yes, that was my big mom win for this weekend for sure. And that's the first one I'm going to share on this episode. But Shanna, it's your turn.

Shanna

I do have another mom win. And this mom win takes place at the ice skating birthday party. I took CC2 a couple months back. Maybe you remember me mentioning this ice skating party on a previous episode.

Laura

I vaguely remember. I feel like she was underdressed and had to wear your jacket or something.

Shanna

Oh, yeah, that's right. Yes, yes, yes. I did not have the cold weather attire for this party. Yeah, so the party itself was great. It was very fun. But our exit from the party is really where the mom win comes in. Oh, okay. But first of all, I do want to say I think I think a sneaky little mom win here is that I learned from my past mistake when I tried to take both girls by myself roller skating to a roller skating party. When the ice skating party came up, I was like, no, I'm taking one kid. I'm not taking two kids who can't ice skate.

Laura

So I learned from my past mistakes. That was good. I'm learning from your past mistakes, too, because there's a skate night coming up with Augie and Sebastian's school. And I was going to sign us all up for it. And then Corey was like, oh, I'm supposed to go to poker that night. I was like, can you go after the skate night? Because there's no way in hell I'm taking both kids by myself to learn how to roller skate. So thank you for your service.

Shanna

Good. I'm so glad that was useful for somebody. Good. But learning from my past mistakes kind of was the theme of this day because as the parties ended and people were starting to leave, CECE took off her ice skates and then realized that there was a claw machine there at the ice skating place.

Laura

Or like they literally have to go to school.

Shanna

Like you gotta go to school. Yes, exactly. So that always adds to the anxiety. But in this case, I was able to just be patient and we were able to leave without me carrying her, without her screaming and crying, you know, without any of it. Like we were able to leave calmly. So working through that, I felt so successful.

Laura

Yeah. Very successful. How did she feel after like, do you think she gets embarrassed by any of this or does she not care?

Shanna

I think she's still young enough that she doesn't care. I don't think she even really registered like her friends looking at her and stuff because she was so thick in the throes of it that it's almost like, I don't know, like her mind is somewhere else. So I don't think that that registered. And she seemed calm. She was a little upset that, you know, we had to leave. But she seemed to bounce back pretty well, like I think we got in the car and put on a song that she loves and then singing along, you know, on the way home.

Laura

So. Oh, that's great. Yeah. Gosh, it's so hard to just stick to your boundary and not escalate things. It feels impossible. So that's definitely a mom win on your part. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you.

Shanna

Oh, yeah, that's my second mom. When do you have another one for us?

Laura

I do. I have a very quick one. Oh, OK. All right. So as you know, my kids have been obsessed with the delivery robots in our neighborhood. Oh, yes. Yes. And we've talked about seeing them, and I think you guys saw some when we were walking to lunch and stuff, and they're just, they're funny. They're these funny little things, and they're very cute. And there was one day where my kids were having a play date, actually with the same friend who Augie went to the sister's birthday party at. And as we walked out, there was a delivery robot waiting to like deliver something, and they all took pictures by it. They just think they're so funny. Well, my mom win is that I successfully got a delivery robot to deliver some food for us this week.

Shanna

Yes. Did you strategize with Amy to get the intel on which restaurant to order from? 100%. I was like a triangulating with radar.

Laura

Yeah, I was like, Amy, we need to order some food. It was not for the kids. It was for me and my mom and Corey and I and stuff. So we could order from pretty much anywhere. It's all like they had to have chicken nuggets. So we're like, where do we order where we're most likely to get a robot and choose? OK, here's my observation. She's like, they're mostly hanging out along brand, which is like the main drag in downtown Glendale. And she's like, you know, they're mostly around this intersection. And I've noticed that if you order from this one Thai restaurant, they almost always put it in a delivery robot. And I was like, oh, good. That was one of the options. Like this is a Thai restaurant we really like. It's called Cozy Corner for anyone who's interested.

Shanna

Yeah, I was going to ask.

Laura

Nice. Yeah, so very little joys. But yes, I strategized on how to get our delivery robot and it worked. Yay, now you can put that skill on your LinkedIn profile.

Shanna

Yeah, sure.

Laura

But that is it for my mom wins. Do you think we should move on to our BFPs and BFNs? Let's do it.

Shanna

We're back when we wrap up every episode with our big fat positives or big fat negatives of the week. Laura, you're up first. What you got for us? I have a BFP.

Laura

All right. Okay. So my BFP is related to all the other segments in that it's related to crafting. Yay. Basically, my BFP is that I am feeling like I'm really reconnecting with crafting like for the first time really since I've had kids. You know, crafting used to be such an important part of my life. I would go nowhere like without some knitting project or always have like a quilting project and always have something going on. But it became really hard to do after I had Augie. And like, as you remember, I did a lot of spinning yarn when I was pregnant with Augie until my SPD pain kind of got in the way, and it couldn't really do the treadling anymore. And then when I tried to get my spinning wheel back out after having Augie, it triggered my nausea because it reminded me of first time after nausea.

Shanna

Yeah.

Laura

So I'm so excited about that. And I've kind of decided to sort of take up space with it. I feel like the other thing is that I've been a bit reticent to like leave my crafts around because A, the kids will get into it and B, like I'm like, oh, this is my project. I don't want it to clutter up the space. And that was valid when the kids were younger and we were in a much, much smaller house. But now we're in this big ass house with all this square footage. Like, what am I trying to like, like their shit takes up so much space like I can carve out a little corner for my spinning wheel my loom right absolutely and also they're old enough now that even if they sort of get interested in them like they're not going to destroy my equipment you know right. So as long as I'm not leaving really sharp things out, you know, like sewing scissors, I feel okay.

Shanna

Okay, well, that's good. That's it's safe for your children.

Laura

Exactly. So yes. So my BFB is just that I'm feeling like re-invigorated and reconnected with my crafting. I feel like I can take up space with it. You know, I didn't feel like, oh, this is I should be doing something else instead of making these shirts for tomorrow. It's like, no, you know what? This is my free time. I get to do fun things and make things if I want to. So yeah.

Shanna

Yes, good for you. And when we were over at your house, my girls saw your spinning wheel in your loom and got very interested in them. And we're like, oh, can we see how this works? And you were teaching CeCe how to weave, making this really cute little towel thing and showing Elle how to spin the yarn. And when we got home, we were talking about it. CeCe was using her little washcloth that you gave her that you guys made. And Elle was like, oh, I want to make one of those. Like, I really want to do it. And I was like, Well, we should set something up because, you know, Laura really loves doing that kind of stuff and Laura really loves you. So I bet that, you know, she would love to do that kind of thing with you. And she goes, I really love doing that kind of stuff. And I really love Laura too.

Laura

So, yes. That's so sweet. I will do that in a heartbeat. I feel like we have to do it away from Augie because they'll just run off. Like the two of them will just run off and play. I feel like I need to have like a one-on-one date with Elle. To do some weaving. But seriously, anytime. I would love that. Awesome. But yeah, that's my BFP. Now it's your turn. Do you have a BFP or a BFN, Shanna? I have a BFP. Yay.

Shanna

Yay. I recently read a book that I really enjoyed and wanted to mention on the podcast. Always love a book, Rec. Okay. It was an audiobook that I listened to. It's called The Carpool Detectives, and it's about a group of four moms who unravel a 15-year-old cold case murder. And it's a true story. It's a true story about four moms here in Los Angeles who are amateur detectives and came together to solve this cold case murder of a couple, like a 60-year-old couple who died in their car falling off of a cliff in like the Los Angeles National Forest, like up the two freeway, like up in that region, right?

Laura

Oh yeah, the Angeles Crest Highway, yeah. That's like my biggest fear is falling off one of the side of that. Every time I drive up there, I'm like, ooh, this is pretty. Really? There's some steep cliffs, for sure.

Shanna

For sure.

Laura

Oh my gosh.

Shanna

Okay, when did this incident happen? The incident itself happened quite a while ago, like 20 years ago. But one of these moms came across it recently, came across the story and was intrigued by it. Because on the surface, these deaths seem accidental or whatever, like they accidentally drove off the cliff. But evidence pointed to it being a murder. And she's like, how? Why? What? And what I really loved about the book, aside from that it's about moms doing something really cool, is that it's mostly set during the pandemic. And I've resisted listening to any pandemic related content just because, you know, this is a stressful time for all of us. But I loved the way that it was the backdrop to this story because it was so relatable.

Laura

We're on all the social medias at BFP Podcast. We have a website, bigfapositivepodcast.com. And if you want to send us an email, just send it to contact at bigfapositivepodcast.com. And finally, if you wanna join the coolest group of people on the entire internet, just search Facebook for BFP Community. It's a private group, so you gotta request to join and to make sure you answer those two membership questions so you know you're not a robot. Once you do that, you'll be sent straight through to the amazing conversations we're having in there.

Shanna

Our show is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thanks for listening, everyone. Have a big, fat, positive week. Bye! Bye!