Awkward Playground Encounters: Would You Rather – Ep. 367

Shanna

Hi, welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. On this week's episode, we have our weekly check-ins. We have our special segment, Would You Rather, where we discuss clothing conundrums and park problems, and we wrap it up with our weekly BFPs and BFNs. Let's get started. Hello, everyone, and welcome to episode 367. Hey, Laura, my friend. Hi, Shanna, my friend. Hello, hello. Why don't you kick us off and give us your weekly check-in?

Laura

OK, so I am going to be checking in this week about six-year-olds and wiggly teeth. Your favorite topic.

Shanna

I know you love wiggly teeth. Yeah, not.

Laura

Yeah. Anyone who listens to this podcast knows that I it's phobia is maybe going too far. I have a deep dislike of wiggly teeth. Like any tooth issues in general just give me a major ick. And like I hated when I lost my own teeth. So I've been dreading Augie getting to the point of losing his own teeth. Basically, since he grew them in I was like, oh god, one day these are gonna get wiggly.

Shanna

And he's at that age now, so okay, what's going on?

Laura

You know, it usually starts in kindergarten. Cece's lost, what, a bunch of teeth, right? She's lost her two bottom teeth, so. Yeah, okay, so she's lost two teeth already. A bunch of August friends have lost a bunch of teeth like you go into the classroom at the end of the kindergarten year and it's just gap teeth everywhere like all over the place gap city. Who's got front teeth left you know it's a coin flip. So, and it's very cute. And I've just kind of been on the edge of my seat being like, okay, like trying to breathe through it, being like, okay, it's gonna happen eventually, it'll be okay, we'll deal with it, right? Like trying not to pass on my anxiety about it because honestly, I recognize that it's a little much. Like everyone has to go through this phase, not everyone has to be freaked out by it, okay? And so I don't wanna add that to Augie's life.

Shanna

Yeah.

Laura

So one of the nights this week, I don't remember exactly when we were doing Brother Bath and I was trying to scrub the kids down and shampoo their hair and, you know, they're wiggling all around. And at some point, Augie kind of goes, ah, like just he was pretending to scream about something because he didn't want to get his hair washed. And he opened his mouth really wide and I caught a glimpse of like something white in there, something extra and white. And I was like, hold on, baby, come here. I need to look at something. And I got him to come over reluctantly and open his mouth really wide. And when I looked down, this is what I saw.

Shanna

What? What? What did you see? Has he been chewing gum and hiding it in his mouth? What? I sent you a picture. Okay, let's see. You're holding open his little mouth. I see lots of teeth. I'm zooming in. Um, I'm sorry. Are those teeth behind his teeth? Does he have two rows of teeth?

Laura

Yes, indeed. He has a second row of teeth forming behind the bottom front teeth. And I really had to work hard to not go, ah, what is that? Good for you, good for you. Because I don't want him to think it's scaring me, but it was a little disconcerting. And the only thing that saved me from having a complete meltdown was that I knew this was a possibility, right? I had heard about this phenomenon before because our friend's kid had a similar thing happen. And these are called shark teeth.

Shanna

Okay, that makes sense because sharks grow rows of teeth before the other ones fall out, right? I should mention what I'm seeing is two teeth behind his front two teeth, so not an entire row.

Laura

Yes. So the front bottom teeth are growing in behind his front bottom teeth, if that makes any sense. He has four front bottom teeth at this moment. Got it.

Shanna

I feel like it's very considerate of him. He's like, mommy doesn't like wiggly teeth, so I'll just grow new teeth without losing the old ones.

Laura

Exactly. I should mention that it's not officially called shark teeth. That is a colloquial term. It's actually called ectopic eruption where permanent teeth erupt behind the baby teeth. So of course I was Googling this. I was like, oh my gosh, like I'm glad that I don't have to deal with wiggly teeth. But does this mean I'm going to have to have his teeth pulled by a dentist and like Just instantly projecting myself into the future, into that dental appointment and being like, he's going to need to be sedated like big time if this happens. And of course, that's a bunch of anxiety too. So I was like, oh hockey, you are growing your grown up teeth in, but they're behind your bottom teeth. And I was like, You know, the internet says that a lot of times that makes your front teeth wiggly, which is what I was reading.

Shanna

So this is maybe even going deeper down your nightmare path now that you have to encourage wiggling.

Laura

I feel like the universe is like, we know what to do. You don't like wiggly teeth, let's make it even weirder.

Shanna

And not to compare your child to my dog, because I know you love when people do that. Who are you, my brother?

Laura

Yeah, I'm sure that fits right into his very selective eating profile.

Shanna

Yeah, yeah, for sure. Oh, my gosh. Well, keep us updated because I'm curious to see how long it's going to take for those little suckers to fall out.

Laura

Me too, so we're on Tooth Watch now.

Shanna

Yeah, and I wonder if those back teeth will shift forward when the other ones fall out.

Laura

I don't know. I hope so. I don't understand the mechanics of it. I also just don't understand the mechanics of where all these adult teeth are gonna fit. His mouth is so teeny tiny. I don't understand. I feel like we should start saving for orthodontics now, you know?

Shanna

Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Their mouths do grow as they grow, so more room. Elle has been begging for braces and orthodontics. She wants it. And the dentist is like, you don't need it. I mean, we'll see in a few years if maybe you need a little straightening.

Laura

I was just like Elle. I was desperate for braces, and I never got them. Oh, you were? Yeah, because everyone else had them. I was like, I want to be cool and have braces. Wow.

Shanna

I guess that's a normal thing than for kids. It was never on my radar as a child. So this is taking me by surprise.

Laura

All right. So that is my tooth saga for the week. Shanna, what do you have for us this week?

Shanna

I have my own personal saga that I'm going to share. Hopefully not about teeth. It's not about teeth. It is medical and body related. This has been going on for a few weeks. It's resolved now and I just want everyone to know that like everything is fine in the end. But I do want to share the story because I know that a few weeks ago you shared about your mammogram and ultrasound story. And your sharing that actually helped me in this situation and this situation goes even beyond that. And I thought the more we can demystify this and like share our experiences, hopefully the better for anyone else out there who might go through something like this.

Laura

Yeah, for sure. And listeners, I just want to say this one, Sean and I talked about before we recorded. So I am a little bit in the know, but I still think we should talk about it. Let's get into it. Okay.

Shanna

Yes. So I went in for my mammogram, my yearly mammogram check three weeks ago, and I've never had issue with mammogram. So I was just treating this as a routine thing. But the next day I got my mammogram results in my chart online. And the results were And I quote, there is an asymmetry measuring 13 millimeters seen in the superior aspect of the right breast, located five centimeters from the nipple. And I'm like, what the heck? And then it says in the left breast, no suspicious masses, et cetera. And then it goes down and tells me my by RADS category, which you explained in a previous episode, Laura.

Laura

Yes, it goes from zero to six, I believe, depending on what your imaging results say.

Shanna

Right. So my by-rads category was zero, which means incomplete, inconclusive, needs additional imaging evaluation. And that part was familiar to me because of what you shared, Laura. So I was a little bit more knowledgeable, at least about this process. And I was so happy that we had talked about this ahead of time. So I knew that I would probably need an ultrasound. And they also told me that I needed some additional mammogram pictures. and they got me in right away like two days later to get all of that. So yeah, very quick. And I'm a little bit nervous though, because I'm like, I don't know what asymmetry means. I don't know if that's they're seeing something wrong or they just need better pictures. You know, my doctor finally chimed in on the results and said they just need further imagery. Like there was no real answer about what any of that meant.

Laura

That's convenient.

Shanna

Yeah that was really nice because you know getting those results in the chart sometimes when you don't know what anything means can be very stress inducing. Yeah, absolutely. So I went in, she did the ultrasound. I didn't see the screen, the ultrasound screen or anything, which is good, because you probably know I've got like some trauma around ultrasounds and sonograms just from my pregnancy losses and stuff. So I was extremely anxious. Like my stomach was in knots. I didn't know what to expect, right? So she did the ultrasound of the whole right breast under my armpit, all of this stuff. And then she went and delivered the images to the radiologist and the radiologist came in. She said, okay, why don't you come in here? We'll go into the consultation room and I'll tell you what I see.

Laura

And so well, that's not the news you want to hear. I mean, it sort of is like, it's obviously better than, oh, we found a bunch of stuff that's super, super scary looking. And you know what I mean? But like one, you know, one scary looking thing that you need to get a biopsy for is not what you expected probably going in.

Shanna

Yeah. And she's like, you know, we see some other small cysts and everything. And that's normal. And she's like, I think what we're seeing is probably something normal that younger women get. It's related to hormones and the cycle and stuff like that. And I mean, at this point, I have no idea what she's even talking about.

Laura

I'm just like, okay. She just called you a younger woman. So I think you should take that and run with it.

Shanna

Yes, yes, I was flattered by that. It's almost as good as being carted when you buy wine, right? As a 40-something-year-old woman. And so she's like, here's what we need to do. We need to get you in for a biopsy. It's a ultrasound-guided needle biopsy. We're just going to numb the area. You don't have to be asleep or anything. We'll go in, we'll take samples, and then we test the samples of this nodule. This was before I was about to go to San Francisco and they wanted to schedule me for this biopsy. Like the day I was in San Francisco, I'm like, oh my gosh, I can't. So I scheduled it for when I got back, like the day after I got back. So I'm like, I've got this on my mind. I'm completely compartmentalizing this whole medical drama while I'm trying to enjoy myself on my trip with my family, right? Because I was anxious. I'm like, what is this? I don't know what's going on in there.

Laura

Yeah, I mean, you have this sort of Damocles hanging over your head, which I think is the right metaphor.

Shanna

Yes, which is probably why I wanted to do something so exciting and so intense while I was there, you know, just to get my mind off of it. Distraction. Yes, exactly. I'm the queen of distraction. So I get back from a big exhausting family trip and the next morning go in at like 8 a.m. for this biopsy.

Laura

Okay, so you said it was ultrasound guided, but it's a needle. I imagine it's a big ass needle, which to be fair, you're probably used to having gone through IVF. But still, like, that kind of gives me the heebie-jeebies a little bit.

Shanna

Yes. You know, all I kept thinking was like, I've had needles stuck into my cervix to numb it when I was trying to get that IUD back in the day. So this ain't nothing.

Laura

Oh my gosh, a needle in the cervix is pretty bad. Yeah, so how was it? How did they numb you up?

Shanna

First of all, I have to say that when I went in, I was expecting my radiologist to come in and be like, okay, ready for the procedure. No, no, in walks this young, handsome ass resident doctor guy, because it's a teaching, you know, hospital or whatever. And I'm like, okay, enough with the hot doctors, like doing weird things on me, because I had a hot anesthesiologist when I gave birth. Anyway, he was nervous, really. I was like, has he ever even done this before? He was like, yeah. Hi, I'm Dr. So-and-So. I'm sorry to meet you under these circumstances. And I was like, oh, that's not a good thing to say. And he's like, the chances of it being bad are like two to 10%. Let's see. What else? What else do I need to tell you about this? Oh, yeah. OK. And like I could see him just like going through a list of like what are you supposed to tell me? So I was a little nervous about that.

Laura

Ugh. But wait, were you feeling any of this? What happened there? Because I'm like, numb the area. How well can they really numb the deep inside your boob?

Shanna

Okay, great question. I forgot to mention that. Yeah, so more needles, of course, were involved for that. That's the first thing they did. They cleaned the area, and then they stuck a needle with lidocaine, I guess. Probably lidocaine.

Laura

One of the canes. Novocaine, lidocaine. Who knows?

Shanna

Lidocaine, a cane. Okay, so they stuck me with a cane.

Laura

Oh, that's good, especially when they're holding it hard and stabbing it. You don't want to feel that.

Shanna

And this is this young doctor guy who maybe has never stabbed a boob marble before. I don't know.

Laura

Oh my god. The first time for everything when you're a resident, I guess.

Shanna

Yes. But they were really nice. They were both really kind to me, making sure I was very comfortable. They got me a blanket. She's like, do you want some aromatherapy lavender smell? I'm like, yes, anything. That's amazing. Yeah, anything you can do. So they put this big needle in and I'm not really watching. I'm just listening. You know, I don't want to watch really. But what I imagine is there's some kind of trigger at the end of this biopsy needle or something because it's like once they stab it, they say, you're going to hear a click and then they go and that like snaps a piece of the mass and then they can pull it out and then take it for processing. So they did that. That's probably four or five times. The radiologist did it the final time, which made me feel good. I was like, okay, I'm for sure going to get a good sample, at least from her. I'm sure the other guy was fine.

Laura

I think there there's a thing called protective pessimism or something like that where you, you know, this whole idea of thinking positive thoughts is great for a lot of scenarios, but there is something protective about thinking about the worst case scenario. That way, you know, often the actual worst case scenario doesn't happen. So there's some protectiveness of like you've thought through every possible worst case scenario. So even if you come back with like, if someone came back with like a bad scenario, it probably wasn't going to be the worst case scenario. So like you get your brain, it's just a protective measure for your emotional health. So I do that. I do it all the time.

Shanna

Yeah. Well, that makes me feel better to know that there, you know, might be some value. in what I was doing to myself with all of this. The other interesting thing is when you go down that path and you think about the what-ifs and everything, it just starts to really put things in perspective. Whenever you have some kind of medical scare or concern, it's like, oh my gosh, it just really puts things in perspective.

Laura

Yeah, you suddenly don't care as much about the fact that your kids have too much screen time, right?

Shanna

Oh, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Or if, you know, they're showing up with weirdly pre-packaged lunches at summer camp. It's just like, you know, I've got my kids, I'm here with them, I'm with my family, like this is the, these are the most important things to me.

Laura

Yeah. Lunchables, not a big deal. Not a big deal. Okay. So, but wait, you're leaving us in suspense, even at the beginning of the segment you told us that everything worked out fine. We're still wanting to know, like, did you eventually get your results and what happened there?

Shanna

I called my doctor's office on Friday. I was supposed to be getting the results from my primary care doctor. And I asked if they were in if I could get the results because they specifically don't release these results on the chart because they don't want to scare people, you know, getting that information without a doctor's interpretation first. Smart. Which I was grateful for. Yeah, very smart. Yeah. So the person on the other line was like, okay, let me see if they're in. Okay, yeah. Oh, the doctor hasn't had a chance to look at them yet. Okay, I will leave a message and have her get back to you right away. I'll mark it as urgent. I'm like, thank you. That was on Friday. So I knew the results were in, but I didn't hear anything from my doctor on Friday. I didn't hear anything from my doctor on Saturday. I was like, oh my God, I'm gonna have to go all weekend.

Shanna

I started crying. I was like, I had so much relief in you about all this like stuff I'd built up and how much I'd been compartmentalizing it and worried. And I'm just like, oh, I was like crying like, oh, yeah, I'm so glad. So yes.

Laura

Yeah. I think at some point during this waiting time, I was like, you know, usually if it's something really bad, I feel like they want to get you in right away and they call you right away. Not always, I guess, but it's You know, I was like, the fact that they're not urgent about it probably means it's not an urgent situation. But I was also very relieved when she got back to you. Also nice of your doctor to be working on a Sunday to get back to you.

Shanna

I know. I was very glad about that. So I guess a fibro adenoma is a mass that grows on top of like your milk ducts or something inside of your breast and it can grow because of the hormones, like menstrual cycle hormones. And it can become quite hard, but it is harmless, apparently. And I don't feel it. I was like, why don't I feel it? And they're like, it's really deep, deep down in the tissue. Like it's way at the bottom of all the tissue and something you would feel. And yeah. So now I've got maybe a little needle scar and they inserted a little piece of like titanium stainless steel metal, like a marker. near where they biopsied so they can always know from here on out where they biopsied. Fascinating. I officially got metal in my body.

Laura

Wow. Does that affect MRIs or?

Shanna

No, I don't think so. I don't think it affects MRIs or metal detectors. Apparently, they told me right away, you'll be fine with metal detectors. I'm like, that must be like a top question people ask or something.

Laura

People are getting your boobs wanded all the time.

Shanna

Yeah.

Laura

Excuse me, ma'am. Your boobs are suspicious.

Shanna

Oh, my gosh. But yes, that is my saga, my story of how I got my boob marble poked by a hot doctor and one step closer to being a robot with steel inside of my body.

Laura

Nice. Soup's jealous.

Shanna

But yeah, that's it for me. Shall we move on to our special segments? I think we should.

Laura

I have to admit, these are not hypothetical. This is a thing I have to make a decision on every single day of my life. And I just want to talk about it because I can't be the only one. Okay. Would you rather have all your clothes, bed linens and other soft goods be always covered in visible grease stains or visible cat hair?

Shanna

Oh, this is, this is your life, Laura. This is my life. This is my life, my friend. Okay. Okay. Okay. Wow. These are some choices.

Laura

Okay. Okay. Because let me, let me paint a picture for you. Okay. Let's just say that you have a white long haired cat whose fur is like lighter than air. It's so fluffy and ethereal that it just literally covers every surface.

Shanna

You're making this sound dreamy. I'm not gonna lie. I'm kind of into this.

Laura

I mean, it's okay when you're like sitting on the couch and watching the beautiful hair float in the sunbeam, right? But if I choose to wear dark colors, I will always be covered in cat hair. There is no lint roller that's been made, that's been manufactured that will stand up to this cat's like absolutely, you know, it's almost like it's lighter than rabbit fur. It's like Angora. It's so like, okay. So dark clothes just completely covered in cat hair. So that seems like out. But then I've noticed that I and my family are all absolute slobs. And no matter how much I try to be conscientious about like splashing food on my shirt or dropping things, I just, I always, no matter what, managed to drop like a big plop of something oily or a tomato sauce, which is both oily and tomato based. Right front and center on my shirts, right? Or my pants, like literally anything light colored, right?

Shanna

I see the conundrum here.

Laura

So my whole life is a would you rather look like a slob by being covered in cat hair or look like a slob because you're covered in grease stains?

Shanna

Okay. Wow. This is a doozy. I can partially relate to the hair one because I do have three pets and I have noticed that clothes, especially black or dark colored clothes, will just come out of the dryer, even still covered in hair. I'm like, why isn't that taking care of the problem?

Laura

And it comes from beyond the grave, Shanna, because I have found Magnus's hair on things.

Shanna

He died months ago.

Laura

And I'm still finding Magnus's hairs, and I'm like, how the fuck did this get on here? Like, his hair is still floating around. Yeah.

Shanna

Well, how do you know it's Magnus and not Cal?

Laura

They have different qualities. It's so hard to describe, but you know when you live with a pet, you get to know them so well. They just have different qualities. Cows has a little bit of like a kink to it sometimes and is a little bit like more Angora, Rabbity. Magnus' was a little denser and heavier, a little thicker.

Shanna

Got it. Yeah. Okay. The thing about me is I actually don't wear a lot of black or dark colors, I think. Like if you look at my closet, it's a rainbow of jewel tones, basically. So maybe that would be okay for me, you know, to have so much hair. The grease thing, I get pissed at myself. If I drop something greasy on my clothes because it's hard to get out, I've ruined clothes that way. Once it's on there, I can't wear it anymore really. That makes me mad. In theory, you could get rid of the hair, but you said you can't really get rid of the hair. You know what? I'm going to go with hair because what it does is it shows that I've got a household full of little furry love. And I think that's a wonderful thing to celebrate, you know, and put out into the world.

Laura

All right. All right. I tend to choose the greased stain one just because I'm like you. I like the lighter colored clothes. I just, I don't own a lot of black clothes. You know what really brought this up recently is that I don't know about you. I listened to podcasts and pretty much every podcast is advertising quints, not our podcast for some reason. Hey, quints.

Shanna

I know. Hey, hit us up.

Laura

Yeah. Get on the train. But I am easily influenced, just like the rest of you, when my favorite podcast host tells me a thousand times that Quince is like the best place to get clothes. I was like, hmm, Quince. And I actually, what we needed was a new duvet cover because ours was finally biting the dust after like 10 years. And I found one on Quince that I liked and I was like, oh, if we spend an extra like 40 bucks, we get free shipping and I get to have some new goodies, right? So I was looking at their linen pants because I've really wanted a pair of linen pants. I love linen pants. Yeah, I've really wanted a pair and I was looking at their colors and I was like, this is a decision I have to make. Do I go with the navy blue and always be covered in my freaking cat's fur, especially bottoms, you know? They just rub up on your legs and you're like, okay, cool.

Shanna

Have you ever thought of the solution of dyeing cows fur navy blue?

Laura

I think that's a good solution. Get right on that. I'm sure he would really love that. Actually, I would love to see him with navy blue hair. That would be so weird.

Shanna

It would be so weird. You know, I'm in the dog grooming, cat grooming, TikTok algorithm. And oftentimes I see these wild color dye jobs on these pets. So I mean, it's possible.

Laura

Now you're opening up a whole third option that I didn't know existed. You are welcome. I'd love to hear from listeners how they manage this or are we just resigned to looking like slobs? This is my problem. Is that for the last, I don't know, let's say four to six years, I've kind of just been resigned to looking like a slob. I'm like, I have young kids. You know my both of my boys were spitters like you wouldn't believe so I always just had spit up or whatever on my shirts But I'm starting to get out of that phase right like my kids are not Causing as much mess on me, but it's still me like and I still have this like boob shelf that just catches every drip every

Shanna

What is all this greasy stuff you're eating Laura?

Laura

I don't even know greasy stuff. I'm eating I don't know. You know what a lot of it is? It's like salad dressing. It's salad dressing, which is like mostly oil and you don't really notice it. You know, yeah, it's a lot of salad dressing. I guess I just need to stop eating salads. Is the answer?

Shanna

Well, there you go. That's a solution. Or get yourself a salad eating t-shirt that you only wear when you eat salads.

Laura

Oh my gosh. All right, that was my would you rather. Shanna, do you want to grace us with yours?

Shanna

Oh, I do. Okay, Laura, here are my hypotheticals. They're hypothetical for you. One of these is true for me, okay? But I want to know what you would choose, which would you rather live through? When you are at the park, would you rather be bullied by tweens or yelled at by another parent?

Laura

Ooh, yeah. This reminds me of that John Mulaney bit where he's like, the scariest thing in the whole world is a group of eighth graders walking towards you. That's so great. I think about that all the time because I feel like I was traumatized in the tween years by mean girls and mean people in general. And so I definitely have like a deep wound and fear of kids of that age, you know.

Shanna

True, true.

Laura

Yes, I think I'd rather get yelled at by another parent.

Shanna

Understandable, understandable.

Laura

How about you?

Shanna

You know, I don't know which I would rather choose, but I'll tell you which I've experienced recently.

Laura

Ooh, okay, so this is not hypothetical either.

Shanna

No, it is not. I don't know what it is going on in my world, but I have been bullied by tweens multiple times. in the last few weeks, multiple times. And it has really caught me off guard because I used to be a teacher and most of my students were extremely respectful. I taught tweens, teens, younger kids, and I've got a good amount of authority around children and stuff. And so when I am on the receiving end of school, sassy behavior from strangers, you know, young kids who do not know me. I am just like, what is happening? I cannot even believe that children are talking to adults like this out in the world. It's really strange.

Laura

I am so curious to hear any details of what they're doing. Are they cutting to the bone? What's happening?

Shanna

Here's the first scenario. I, as you know, took Radley to dog obedience class at the park. Our class is supposed to be held on the softball field, but sometimes there are games going on on the softball field. So the teacher who's associated with the Parks and Rec Center, her backup plan is to go over to the basketball court and we hold class there. And it is unfortunate. the kids that are playing there, she has to say, you know, in about 10, 15 minutes, we have to hold our class here because there's lights. And it was at night, right? So we needed the lights. That's why we couldn't just do it anywhere. So she goes up and she's one of the nicest people, this older woman, just super, super, super sweet. And she knows that it sucks for these kids to have to, you know, go go somewhere else and stop playing basketball. So she gives them like 15 minutes in advance. I'm so sorry.

Laura

Look, you get mad at the teacher, you get mad at the adults, but don't bring the cute little dogs into it. They did nothing wrong. I know, right?

Shanna

I mean, I thought if anything, Radley's cute little snoot would win these kids over, but no, no, they hated the dogs.

Laura

This is why I feel it's so important for me to teach my boys the emotional regulation of dealing with disappointment because I could see my four and six year olds responding this way by being told that they're not allowed to do the thing that they wanted to do. But I would hope by, you know, in 10 years they will have had enough experience with disappointment that they would at least like the whole thing is like you're allowed to be disappointed. You're not allowed to like lash out at other people for it.

Shanna

Yeah. And it can be dangerous. Like that's what crossed my mind with all these incidents. I'm going to tell really quickly. It's just like they need to learn. They can't go around like sassing people. They don't know because you don't know who you're sassing and how they might respond.

Laura

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It's true. So, wait, you said there's more than one incident? What else? What other tweens are terrorizing you?

Shanna

Oh, my God. I told Steve, I think I have bully me energy like these days or something. We were at this playground in San Francisco, and this was one of the magnificent playgrounds in the Golden Gate Park. And there's this really cool, like concrete slide built into the hillside that the kids were sliding on. And to slide on it, they need to get little pieces of cardboard and go up the steps.

Laura

So they don't scrape the shit out of their butt.

Shanna

Yes, exactly. And so it gives them speed and stuff. So there's all these pieces of old ass cardboard at the bottom of the slides. And I saw that CeCe was up at the top and she needed one. So I walked over and picked up one of them. It was a Big piece because I figured a big piece would be better for speed. And this little 12 year old walks over and like sees me grab it and he's like screw you. And I was like what? What? Because I took like a big piece of cardboard. I'm like there's so much other cardboard. I was like. I could not believe that some random little 12 year old said screw you to an adult woman. That was just wild to me.

Laura

What bothers me like on top of all this is that I feel like this gives like the anti-gentle parent people ammunition. Even if you we have no idea if this kid was gentle, parented or respectful, parented by guess is probably not. But you never know. But the but the response is going to be like, well, see, this is what gentle parenting gets you. And I'm like, I don't like that.

Shanna

Yeah, yes, exactly. And I worry too, like if these kids are willing to talk to adults in this way, how are they talking to other kids or my kids of like if he had gone up to the top of the step and I wasn't there and CECE had a piece of cardboard he wanted. I mean, he might have bullied her a much smaller child. So anyway, that concerned me. Then, like 30 minutes later, I go over, there's a little coffee hut in the middle of this playground park area. And I wanted to see what was on the menu. There was a very long line there, some kind of camp field trip lots and lots and lots of kids were there. And so there was a long line. I had to crane my neck around this line of kids to see the menu that was posted. I'm looking over and this girl goes, what are you looking at me for? I'm just standing here talking to my friend. What are you looking at me for?

Laura

It's me and my bully me energy. That's so funny. I stand by my choice at the beginning of the segment then that, yes, I would rather be yelled at by another adult.

Shanna

Oh, it's so it's weird. It's a weird feeling. But yeah, that's that's my story. All right.

Laura

Well, I think that might be the end of the segment then.

Shanna

I think it is.

Laura

Would you rather take a break or take a moment and come back with our BFPs and BFNs?

Shanna

I think I'd rather take a moment.

Laura

I have a BFP. Okay. Tell us. Which is, it was Augie's last week of Kinder, as I mentioned in the check-in briefly. Yeah. There were just a couple bittersweet things that I wanted to mention, which is that first of all, we found out that his teacher that he's had for TK and Kinder is not returning to the school next year. Oh, no. Yeah, she found a job closer to home. She's actually been commuting from Covina every day. It was just very far. And I was like, what? You have? Like, that's crazy. You need to get a job closer to home. So, you know, we'll miss her. And I was kind of sad that Sebastian's not going to be able to have her as his TK teacher, but it's OK. We totally understand. So we had to say bye to Miss Flores. I think now that she's gone, I can say. her name. So by Ms. Flores, she was wonderful for the two years we had her.

Shanna

Yeah.

Laura

But then he was like, but I want to go to the big campus. I like the big campus. So I was like, yeah, I know, and it'll be fun. You'll get to be with all your friends. You know, he has all these friends in first grade that he would have been separated from next year.

Shanna

Oh, right.

Laura

And now he doesn't have to do that. So he was like going through the pros and the cons in his head and It was just really interesting to watch a six-year-old do that, you know?

Shanna

Oh, for sure.

Laura

It's rare that you know it's the last time you're going to be somewhere, right? Like, usually what happens is you just realize you haven't been back to, you know, that Pilates studio in a while or whatever it is, right? So, yeah, watching him deal with that was really interesting and very sweet.

Shanna

Did he feel sad about leaving his preschool to move on to a new school and a new campus?

Laura

I didn't seem like it. I think he was a little too young to really totally understand what that meant. You know what I mean? Like for, it wasn't really, the future projection wasn't really there. And we knew we'd be back with Sebastian, right? That was the other thing. It's like, well, you're not going to be in this class anymore, but we're going to come back and visit a lot. So, yeah, that was a different scenario. And we're going to have to go through the same thing with Sebastian in like two months when he's done with his preschool being like, well, I think this is the last time we're going to be stepping foot on this campus, you know?

Shanna

Yeah, that's so true. So then he's going to go and just start straight off in the big, the big campus with the big kids, right?

Laura

The big campus. Yeah. Yeah. Which he's honestly stoked about. He's like, they love the big campus because the only times they've ever been there are for events like big school events. Like they're big like Halloween festival they have and stuff. So like it to them, it's fun times at the big campus. So yeah, they're excited.

Shanna

That's good. I'm glad they have positive associations with it because, you know, if it's unknown and there's big kids, it could be really scary.

Laura

Yeah, for sure. But that is my BFP tinged with a little sadness. Shanna, what you got for us?

Shanna

I have a BFP as well. Okay. My girls started their first week of summer camp this week. And it is the swim camp that they did last year for two weeks as well. And they freaking love this camp. It's just, it's such a delight to sign my kids up for something that they love and want to go to every day. I'm so happy, yay.

Laura

It's not dragging them out the door.

Shanna

Yes, no, not at all. And it's a very sweet, low-key camp. It's held at a fitness gym, but in the side of it, where the pool is, and there's some activity rooms, and then they're allowed to go play in the basketball area. And the teachers just come up with themes every week. And they do arts and crafts. And then at the end of the day, every week, they get to swim in the pool. And then they get little swimming lessons a couple of those days. And yeah, my BFP is just that it's going well. And, you know, CECE is continuing to learn how to swim and feeling more confident in the water, which is great. It's always been a goal.

Laura

And yeah, it's going well. Oh, that's so great. I love having an activity that they actually want to do. And you're like, OK, bye-bye. Get out of my house.

Shanna

Yes, yes, I'm sending you off to have a good time. Yay, mommy's not torturing you. So very, very happy about that. Cool. But yeah, that's my sweet, simple little BFP. And I think that's it for our show. Listeners, thank you so much for supporting our show and continuing to listen to our episodes every week. If you could share this episode or another one of your favorites with someone out there in the world, we would appreciate that. And if you haven't had a chance yet, could you please head on over to Apple Podcasts or Spotify, wherever you listen, leave us a five star review, save you things you love about the show, and we might read your review on an upcoming episode. If you have any would you rather that you want to share with us, please reach out. We love hearing from you. Laura, where can everyone find us?

Laura

We're on all the social medias at BFP podcast. We have a website, bigfappositivepodcast.com. And if you want to send us an email, just send it to contact at bigfappositivepodcast.com. And finally, if you want to join the coolest group of people on the internet, just search BFP Community on Facebook. It's a private group, so you got a request to join. And answer those two membership questions so we know you're not a robot. But once you do that, you'll be sent straight through to all the amazing conversations we're having in there.

Shanna

Our show is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thanks for listening, everyone. Have a big, fat, positive week. Bye. Bye.