The Blame Game and a Breast Ultrasound Update – Ep. 361

Shanna

Hi, welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. On this week's episode, we have our weekly check-ins. We have our special segment, They Said What, where we hear some interesting things about magnets, couches, tokens, and a certain New Zealand fruit, and we wrap it up with our weekly BFPs and BFNs. Let's get started.

Laura

So this week's check-in, I wanted to focus on the fact that I had my follow-up breast ultrasound after my mammogram came back inconclusive, considering the fact that my boobs were too dense.

Shanna

Oh, right. I forgot about that. Is it different than the mammogram is like what's what's it like?

Laura

Yes It's quite different from the mammogram the mammogram is more like an x-ray in a way you go in you get your boobs smushed by this device and they take like a Arcing x-ray right like they have some machine that kind of like we goes around it At least that's how mine was is that how the ones you've had are now that you mention it mm-hmm Yeah. And when I had that, what was that, a couple of months ago, they were like, cool, we can't see anything in this. Like, we don't know if anything's happening because your boobs are too dense. And that mammogram resulted in something called a by Rad's zero reading.

Shanna

Okay, I don't know what that means.

Laura

I didn't either. So Byrads apparently is the breast imaging reporting and data system, which is some kind of standardized rating system to interpret mammograms and like or any imaging of your breasts, I guess. And a zero basically means we don't have enough information and says the additional It means needs additional imaging, right? So every category has the category number, what it means and what you're supposed to do about it. And also how likely it is that you have cancer based on that assessment. And by reds of zero means we don't know shit, right? We can't tell you.

Shanna

Wow, that's a very intimate procedure to have with your tatas.

Laura

It's true. I was glad that my sonographer was a woman and also a mom. And she also breastfed for like a long time. So we started talking about that. Oh, yeah. You know, I did it for two years. Oh yeah, I did it for six non-stop years. Not with the same kid, but still. So, you know, and honestly, after you've been breastfeeding that long, I'm not particularly shy when it comes to my boobs, especially when it's in, you know, a medical setting. So I'm just like, yep, here they are.

Shanna

Oh yeah, I would have done that too. 100%. Maybe even when I was still on the table, like pardon me.

Laura

I'm just going to look at something on my phone real quick. You can't really do that, of course, because your arm is like in a weird spot so that they can get a good, good access to the boobies. But I was a little reassured with what I saw on the internet. And actually, there's a lot of great resources. I think they're for helping, you know, people learning how to do sonograms, like how to do it. So I was like, wow, this is so much useful medical information on the internet. And I was also concerned because as I was like wiping all the goo off of me, the woman was like, okay, so it'll be like two or three weeks, probably till you get results back, you'll see him in the portal. And I was like, oh, two or three weeks. Oh, okay.

Shanna

That's a long time.

Laura

That's a long time. And also, like, I saw these mysterious things you were measuring. Like, baby, will you tell me what's going on here? Yeah. But luckily, it was literally the same day that the results popped up in my inbox. So I don't know why. They must tell people two to three weeks because it can take that long. I don't even know. But this time, it was ByRads3. And the category is probably benign.

Shanna

Okay. Well, do you have to go through the rigmarole of mammograms anymore, or do you just bypass that and go straight to the sonogram?

Laura

I'm really hoping I bypass to go straight to the sonogram. I have to talk to my doctor and see what she orders next time. Like in a couple of months, I have to get it set up. But I think I have a strong case to go straight to the sonogram, so I don't have to worry about. You know, it's a waste of time and resources to get a mammogram that like doesn't show you anything. So I'm hoping. Yeah. And then another listener wrote in after I talked about getting the mammogram last time, and she said that I should push to just get an MRI, which is even more detailed. So I'm going to see if my doctor is open to that, because maybe that would just be a faster way to get it done too. Because, you know, the sonogram really did take a long time.

Shanna

What are we talking a long time, like 15 minutes?

Laura

I would say like 40 minutes. Whoa. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm being in there with the woman like doing it. It wasn't not like 40 minutes from I walked into the doctor's office. So yeah, it was a it was a it was a thing, you know.

Shanna

Well, good for you for getting those preventative screenings. That's very important. So I'm glad that you did that.

Laura

Yeah, I just wanted to talk about on the show because we got a lot of great feedback after I talked about my mammogram. And, you know, there's this thing. I just weaned Sebastian, as you know, but there's a lot of people that say, oh, you need to wait six months after weaning to get any of this done. And it seems like that's old fashioned advice, especially if you have any risk factors. So.

Shanna

Uh-huh.

Laura

So, yeah, it's good to get the screenings because now I know I probably don't have cancer. Probably.

Shanna

Probably. I'm glad you probably don't. Yeah, me too. It just seems like such an unmedical term. What did your doctor say about it? Did she interpret that for you?

Laura

She just wrote back. She's like, oh, looks like they want you back in six months. They're not too worried. Like, that's it. That's basically it.

Shanna

OK. Yeah.

Laura

I got the impression that since no one is all that worried or pushing for more things, that it really is just not a big concern.

Shanna

Yeah. Yeah. Do you think that your sonogram took longer because of your double G boobs?

Laura

Do you think they take longer on that size boobs? Sorry, it was J size boobs, Sean, a double G was the UK size. Yeah. Sorry, J, J, yeah.

Shanna

J for gigantic. Yes. Oh, geez, that doesn't even start with J. Oh, boy, I'm gonna bring this offline.

Laura

Um, yeah, actually I do. There was like more space to cover, right? Like they had to, she had to really go around and it was awkward too because they're flopping over to the side, you know? And she's like, okay, I gotta get under there. I was like, yeah, sorry.

Shanna

Oh boy, oh boy, well. Alright, well thank you for your update. I am glad to hear that you're probably okay.

Laura

Probably fine. Shanna, how was your week? Are you probably okay?

Shanna

I don't know.

Laura

Yes, but I need to know what what happened to you because this is quite the teaser.

Shanna

OK. Well, right away, I'll get it out of the way. This is not medical related.

Laura

OK, good. OK. No one spent an hour probing ultrasonic sound waves at your body this week.

Shanna

Not this week. Yay. On Saturday, Steve and Elle had like a daddy daughter date to go see the Minecraft movie. And I was like, oh, that sounds fun. Like I saw the trailer a couple of times. It seemed funny. You know, I was like, oh, fun. I want to go L shut daggers at me. It was just like, just daggers. And I was like, OK. Message received. I was like, oh, okay, this is like a daddy L thing. And she's like, mm-hmm. And Steve's like, I promised her when I went out of town to Minnesota when she was so upset about it. He was like, when I get back, I'll take you to go see Minecraft and we'll have a day, okay? So I was like, okay, that's fine, you go do that. That means I get to have a day with CeCe, which that's great too. And it was a beautiful day. And I remember there's a very lovely little naturey area with a hike and a stream, lots of beautiful trees near our house.

Laura

You know, it's like Chekhov's gun on the wall. It's like, oh, okay. This is gonna pay off. Okay, go on.

Shanna

I was like, let's take Radley. He's never been on a nature walk with us or a hike or anything. He could use the exercise. Yeah, let's do it. So we drive over to the hike. We park around the corner. We start walking down the sidewalk in the street to the trailhead. I am already sensing trouble.

Laura

Oh.

Shanna

Radley is in his what our friend Jen described as his velociraptor phase. She was telling me about like the three phases of dogs that she had heard of. It's like puppy, velociraptor, adult. It's like, oh, yeah, right. I've talked before about how he's just kind of wild, right? And I have a short term memory problem these days, Laura. It's like. I forgot the dog is bozo okay I forgot that he is a bozo dog.

Laura

Is this the same place you took the girls at one time and they like took their shoes off or something? They got all soaked and I remember like you had to carry L long way or something. There was something like that. Is this the same hike?

Shanna

Oh, yeah. Yeah, we've had a lot of dramatic experiences at this hike now that you mentioned it. Yes. Yes. That was the day that the girls rode home butt naked in their car seats, if I remember correctly. Because they were completely soaked from the creek. Anyway, we get to that part of the creek on our walks, you see, and Radley and myself. And there is a fallen tree, fell tree. I don't know the phrase. And so that whole area of the creek was closed and so CECE was really sad. She's like, I love that area. It's closed. I'm like, yeah, we can't go down there anyway. So we continue our walk and every time there is another hiker, Radley just wants to say hi so bad, but he can't control himself. He's just like rrrrr and pulling and I am like doing what the obedience trainers teach me to do.

Laura

Well, yeah. I mean, just like kids, dogs need to be one with nature, right? Do some free range dog parenting.

Shanna

Yes, absolutely. Except parts of this creek are a pretty mucky, I guess. So maybe I don't know. I was definitely trying to direct him. And meanwhile, Cece just wants to walk him so bad I want to control the leash. And we're like, 20 minutes in at this point. I'm like, oh my god, this dog is not any more relaxed. I don't feel comfortable letting her walk him. So we go down, walk around. We probably walk like 30 minutes down the trail. He is pulling every which way, trying to bark at everyone. I see a dog coming our way and that is the worst, right? I'm like, oh my god, we have got to hide. So we like go down this bank and hide away from this dog. And I'm just like embarrassed, right? I'm really embarrassed because people are definitely looking at me. Like at one point, a man just stopped and like stared at us down there, like where we went down to hide. Just stared at us.

Laura

He is like this little puff ball. You wouldn't know. Like it doesn't make sense why his legs move so fast. But he's just I can just imagine him just really like a black and white like like a triple just like flying away. Yes.

Shanna

You just see a black and white blur down this dirt trail, right? So Cece's like, ah, running after him. I'm like, ah, I'm running after him. I've got a backpack on. We are the three of us just like zooming down this trail. I'm like, where have I stopped? And she's like, oh my God, I'm sorry. And she's crying and I'm screaming after him. And I see a group with a big dog off leash ahead of us. I know that's what he's going towards. And I'm like, oh my God, oh my God. I'm like, where have I stopped? And there is a man coming down the trail like from like a little offshoot trail, you know, like coming towards this big trail. And I was like, oh my God, you know, he's going to help us. He's going to stop Bradley. No, did not even look at Bradley. He looked at me and CECE and saw two crazed ladies coming down the trail screaming at this 15 pound fluff ball to stop and he He just kept on hiking.

Laura

For real, right? That's so unfriendly, so unhikerly, Lee.

Shanna

So unhikerly, so I was mad at that guy. But we finally catch up to Radley. I think he slowed down because he got to where the path kind of was about to cross over the creek. And that intimidated him a little bit. And at this point, the group with the dog was like beyond that. So we run up there and CeCe stomps on his leash and he like does that kind of like, you know, he gets jerked backwards. And she's like, I got him. And I'm like, oh my god. Oh my god. Like I was just out of breath and thought for sure that he was going to get in a scar. Gauful I didn't know yeah, it's there's no way to know especially with another big dog that's off leash like what's gonna happen Yeah, and rally's very friendly once he goes up to a dog. He's not aggressive in that way But you know well not all dogs are not all dogs appreciate this kind of approach Yeah

Laura

Well, you know what? At least he has a little bit of self-preservation by pausing at the creek. Like, that's hopeful for the future.

Shanna

Yes, yes, exactly.

Laura

There are some instincts deep inside that are telling him, like, hmm.

Shanna

That's what I need to latch on to as I continue to work with training him. So we finally stop. I get him on, I get the leash on my hand means he's here both breathing heavily and she goes, I guess maybe I shouldn't walk him.

Laura

narrowly escaping disaster on the trail.

Shanna

Yeah, exactly. It's like, I need, I need recovery. I'm like, CECE, do you want to go to TJ Maxx and do some shopping? She's like, yeah, I'm like, we're dropping Radley off first. So that's how I recuperated and got my energy back. We dropped Radley off, went to TJ Maxx, did some bargain shopping. And that was my date with CECE.

Laura

Well, I'm glad you caught Radley. And, you know, in a way, even though it was traumatizing for you, it did teach Cece a lesson that I think she's going to have internalized forever, which is when you were telling her, I don't think Radley's ready for you to walk him. Like, I just don't think it's a good idea. And she kept pushing, pushing, pushing. And then she finally wore you down and you did it. And it almost set a disaster. Like maybe now she'll believe you or you'll be able to be like, hey, I know you really want to do it. But you remember last time, like, even if it's not this specific type of thing, like walking Radley, but like some other thing that she was begging for and thinking she's, you know, and you're not ready to let her do it. You'll be like, remember how I was right last time? Like maybe give me some credit for my judgment.

Shanna

Yes. Experience is the greatest teacher for sure.

Laura

Indeed. Well, if experience has taught me anything, it's that it's time to move on to our next segment. What do you think? I think so.

Shanna

We are back, and this week's segment is They Said What, where we share the surprising, shocking, hilarious, maybe offensive things that people have said to us recently regarding parenting. Laura, you are up first, and I am dying to know who said what.

Laura

All right, so this happened recently while I was at the park with both kids. Just you or you and Cory? Me and Cory, although I don't think Cory is really playing into this story, but he was there. But we had spent a whole day at the park. We were there for hours and hours. The kids had run around. They were so tired. But it was one of those situations where they were just having so much fun. They never wanted to leave, blah, blah, blah. But eventually we had to put our foot down. We had to be like, it's time to leave. And just as we were like packing up our shit and getting out of there, the ice cream cart guy comes rolling through.

Shanna

The ill timed ice cream vendor. Yes.

Laura

And they had been begging for ice cream all day because it had been a hot day and they had just not come by like the ice cream cart guy just hadn't been around so we're like I guess he's just not here oh well but then of course right as we're like walking towards the parking lot here he comes and the boys were instantly like ice cream ice cream so I look at Corey, he looks at me and we're like, fine, let's go get it. So Corey's like, I'm gonna go take the stuff of the car because we had brought like all this stuff. We had brought like sand toys and scooters and whatnot. So he's like, I'm gonna go take the stuff of the car and then you can have your ice cream and I'll come back and we'll all go home together. Okay, fine. So I walk over to the ice cream guy with the boys who are very excited and very anxious and antsy about it.

Shanna

Oh, God, that is so wild. And to assume that you would want to make your kids bigger or like try to intervene to make the kids taller. I mean,

Laura

Yeah.

Shanna

It's so wild. I think I would have been like, oh my gosh, how many kiwis do you guys eat per day? Like, I'm I cannot get away from that little tidbit. Like, literally never heard that in my life. And I'm curious how they incorporate kiwis into their life to make them taller.

Laura

I'm also curious. I haven't actually googled the Kiwi and height connection because I'm sure that it's on some blog somewhere. Let's see. Yes. Yes. Kiwi height. Let's see. No, now I'm just learning how tall Kiwi birds are. That's not what I want. Kiwi helps you grow. Let's see. Okay. I cannot find anything that says it's going to change his DNA. It's just like, oh yeah, they help you grow because they have nutrients. It's like, okay.

Shanna

Wow. Okay. I googled, does Kiwi make you taller? And the AI overview that comes up right away says no. Kiwis do not make you taller. So there you go. That's the thing about real life versus like Reddit, right? You can't just be like, links, please, evidence, evidence, show me the evidence. Yeah. You just have to listen to the shit people say and be like, okay, okay.

Laura

And if my child would eat green things, I'm sure he would be taller.

Shanna

Oh, that is so odd. So did you just kind of like go, uh-huh? And then like the conversation was over or was there any more after that?

Laura

Well, the only additional conversation which kind of made me sad was that the little girl was like, will you play with me? Do you guys want to play? And I felt bad because I was like, we're leaving. Like we got to go. But also the dad was like, oh yeah, they got to go. Like they don't want to play with you. And I was like, do you not want to play with us because we're short? So like what's going on?

Shanna

Oh, it really does. And this whole thing about it changes your DNA. Okay, your mom is a geneticist. Does anything change your DNA once it has been established and it's in your body? Yeah, radiation changes your DNA.

Laura

There's this brand new, very cool gene therapy that's like It costs millions and millions of dollars and it's been done on only a handful of people.

Shanna

That changes your DNA. And Kiwis and lack of sugar.

Laura

Yeah, Kiwis are not changing your DNA. No.

Shanna

Oh, that is so wild. Oh, what an experience. What an experience.

Laura

Ah, humans. Humans are interesting. All right. So that was my first they said what. Shanna, do you have one for me?

Shanna

Yes. Okay, this is something that happened when our family did a little weekend away in Lake Arrowhead. Remember we went up for the snow? Well, my girls love buying souvenirs and so one day we went into the little town square and we were shopping around for souvenirs and we stumbled upon a very charming toy store, like an independently owned toy store. So we went in and I'm thinking that the kids will want something like Arrowhead related or something, you know, souvenir-y to remind them of the trip. Well, Elle is immediately drawn in by a little television screen, a little video near the cash register that is advertising this product called Spex. Do you know about Spex?

Laura

Only that that's a slang term for glasses. What are Spex?

Shanna

Okay. It's S-P-E-K-S. And they are tiny magnetic balls. Like each ball is about the size of a BB or maybe smaller, like very tiny. Yeah. And they're colorful. And the cool thing about them is they all stick together and kind of coalesce into a blob, but you can shape them.

Laura

Mm-hmm. Okay. That sounds very, very appealing to me. I would play with this all the time.

Shanna

Yes. So, Elle cannot walk past any screen without being drawn into it, first of all.

Laura

Yeah. Augie, too. It's just amazing. Yeah. Anything showing any moving images like... Oh, yeah.

Shanna

instantly like a moth to a flame. And so it's advertising a very appealing product to her. So we're shopping around with CeCe. She's looking at all this other stuff and Elle is just like, I need specs. Like this is the souvenir I want. And finally, I'm like, fine, you can have these these little magnetic balls. So that's what she chooses. CECE chooses, I don't know, a board game or something like that. We go up to the cashier and hand her the items. She picks up the specs and looks at me and says, I'm required to tell you that these should not be used around small children because they can be ingested and can cause internal organs to tear. And I was like, um, and she's looking at my small children who I'm buying the specs for. And she's like looking at them and looking at me and looking at them and looking at me. And I'm like, ugh, that doesn't sound good.

Laura

So because I am that person, the very first thing I thought of when you described the product was like, oh yeah, those kind of things that like can ruin you from the inside out. Like I know. I know about these because my dad always warned me about them. Do you remember in the 90s, it was like very hip to have these strong magnet fake piercings? Oh, yes.

Shanna

Yeah.

Laura

Do you remember those? Kids were putting them in their noses like to do fake nose rings or lips to do fake like lip rings. And they would swallow them. And yeah, it's incredibly dangerous, apparently, because what would happen is like the two pieces of the magnet would like pinch organs, like pinch the colon and like cause like a perforated colon or like, you know, they, and they'd get stuck because they'd wrap themselves around stuff. It is a, I don't think a super common thing, but I do know about this as an issue. So it's like, definitely not something I'd ever have around really young kids, but I don't think your girls are at risk of actually swallowing them, especially when you've given them a proper warning. But I would definitely be concerned about Radley, because you said he eats a lot of shit, like not shit.

Shanna

Oh, my God, that's so wild. And, you know, maybe it wouldn't have been so shocking to me that she said that if I had known about this, you know, if you were like you do. It's a they said what not because she did anything wrong or anything but I was just like not expecting to hear that from a cashier at some little toy store. I was just like what?

Laura

Yeah, especially since you're at a toy store and as much as they say like you should not be used around young kids like what young kid is not drawn to that. You know what I mean? Like that looks like a very fun young kid toy. So it's a little bit like a cigarette warning at a tobacco shop. I'm required to tell you by law that these cigarettes are going to cause cancer, but it's like, wait, but why do you have them then? It's like, no, I'm just required by law to tell you.

Shanna

Yes. While you're standing next to a video screen showing like how alluring the cigarettes are and like the videos of the sexy people, like that's what it was. Like she was standing next to the video of the specs.

Laura

Yeah, of course. And I mean, button batteries are super dangerous too when they're in everything, right? So I just think, you know, six and nine, they're old enough that they're not putting their toys in their mouth, I hope. So that I think is not a big deal, but yeah, definitely with Radley. Keep an eye on that little cuckoo banana's fluff ball.

Shanna

Oh my gosh. Okay, do you have another they settle up for us?

Laura

I do. So speaking of hidden dangers lurking around your home. The other day we were hanging out at home, puttering around. The kids were watching TV and kind of, you know, they were half watching TV, I'd say, which is kind of my favorite way for them to watch TV because I always feel kind of, I don't know, I start getting like nervous that they spend too much time watching screens and they should be moving around more. But then I feel like when the TV's on, but they're like popping in and out and they're like going to the playroom to grab toys or they're like, doing cartwheels and stuff, not actual cartwheels, they're not quite there yet, but they're doing like tumbling and jumping and stuff, that it's fine, it's fine. The TV's just on, but that's not the main activity. So Cory and I are like cleaning up. I'm in the kitchen. Cory's doing the same.

Shanna

So it's like a soft cushiony thing now.

Laura

Exactly. It's like the soft upholstered table sized Ottoman that has storage inside, right? And now it's a ninja platform. So you like they both jump back and forth between the couch and in. All this stuff, right? Usually it's fine. Well, Corey and I are both in the kitchen when we suddenly hear Augie crying and we're like, Oh, what happened? Right? And I'm thinking like, Oh, the boys collided with each other, whatever. And Augie comes in the kitchen. He's sobbing. And I see he has like a welt on his forehead. I'm like, Oh, honey. And he's The couch is stupid! I'm never sitting on the couch again! Oh no! What did the couch do? That's when Corian are like, okay, so did you run into the hard arm of the couch? Yeah.

Shanna

Yes, oh my gosh. Placing blame on inanimate objects is definitely a thing in my house too.

Laura

Oh yeah?

Shanna

With CeCe specifically, just the other day, she was helping me feed the cats and I have the cat food in a canister and so she took the lid off and she was just, it was just an awkward moment on her part and she dropped the lid but it fell on her toe. Oh my god, she hit the fan. She's like, oh my god, stupid lid, I'm never using lids ever again. And she was so pissed at this lid.

Laura

Oh, no.

Shanna

But then like three minutes later, I give her the lid to put back on. She's like, and put the lid back on.

Laura

Yeah. I don't know if anyone's going to be surprised to hear that within five minutes, he was indeed sitting on the couch that he was never going to sit on again. Just five minutes.

Shanna

Did you remind him of his previous proclamation where you like, I thought you said you were never going to sit on that couch.

Laura

I did not. I didn't rub it in. But, you know, I've had this problem enough that I actually brought it up with Gia last time I saw her, because I was like, what do you do when your six-year-old blames the inanimate object for getting hurt? And she said that, you know, that's totally normal. Lots of kids do it. But if you don't say something, it could turn into this lack of accountability in the future, right? Like it could turn into like everything else is out to get me. I never do anything wrong. So, and I was like, well, do you talk about it in the moment? Like what do you do? And she's like, yeah, you can actually bring it up in the moment. Not in a like, I told you so way or like a correcting, you know, really like strong correcting way. But as you're comforting them, you can say, oh yeah, you got hurt. It's not the couch's fault. Accidents happen. So I tried that.

Shanna

I'm glad you healed his relationship with the couch. I mean, kids shouldn't go through life hating their couch.

Laura

It's true. It is one of their most foundational relationships. It's something that carries them through.

Shanna

Yes. That's for life, man. Kids and couches.

Laura

Oh my gosh. But I'll report if I have a really ridiculous one that comes up. I mean, the couch is pretty silly, but a cat food container lid is extra silly to blame, so. Anyway, I think that is the end of my, they said what? Shanna, do you have one more for us? I do. Should we hear it after the break?

Shanna

I will. This took place on Elle's birthday. So this was also a couple of months ago. But for her birthday, she wanted to go out to dinner at Presto Pasta, which is a little restaurant nearby. And the thing that my kids really love about this restaurant, honestly, is the gumball-like toy machine. Do you know what I'm talking about?

Laura

Oh yes, the vending machines that spit out little spheres, plastic spheres with toys inside, yes?

Shanna

Yes, exactly. And this one's really fun. It's got a big huge ball on top with all the prizes inside and you put the coin in and the little ball like... And the little ball travels down this zigzag path that you can see all the way down to the dispenser at the bottom. Super fun. At Presto Pasta, when you buy a kid's meal, they give you a token for this machine. So we go there. We order our food. The cashier gives the girls each one token for the prize machine. So they go over. and put their coins in, they get their prize, come back to the table. And of course they want more, right? It's fun to play this little thing and get these little prizes. And the machine also takes quarters. So the girls are like, do you have any quarters? We can get a couple more prizes. And I'm like, no, I don't have quarters. I don't ever have cash anymore.

Laura

Yeah. Yeah. Those are like really safe opportunities to stretch your comfort zone.

Shanna

Yeah, exactly. So that's something I try to do with them. And I thought this was a great opportunity for her to do that. So I was really encouraging her to be independent, go up there and just explain. And I'm sure they'll give you some tokens. So after a few minutes of back and forth and her feeling really shy, her desire for more tokens took over. And she's like, OK, I'm going to do it. And so she went up there and I didn't hear the conversation. I saw it and I was really proud of her for stretching herself and going outside of her comfort zone and she comes back and I'm like, what'd she say? She said, no, no, she wouldn't give me any more tokens. Like the answer was just no. And I was like, she said, what? Like I was passed. I'm like, I'm sorry. My little kid took it upon herself to like go up and just like

Laura

Yeah, I mean, it's not the kindness response for sure.

Shanna

And I mean, that's it. It's just that like I felt so proud of Elle for like feeling brave and going and doing the thing that she wanted to do and asking. And then I was just like, you're going to tell her no. But I didn't do anything about it. I didn't go up and be like, you give my kid tokens, you know, because it was still to me it was like it was a lesson in a way. I was like, I'm proud of you. You went up, you asked for what you wanted. You didn't get the answer you wanted, but that's OK too. You know, that's OK too.

Laura

Yeah, honestly, it's, I mean, it's not the lesson you were hoping for, which was like, if you put yourself out there, you'll get the thing you want. But there is such a lesson in being like, learning to be okay with someone telling you no, right? With someone not giving you the answer you're looking for. And even though it's like, You know that it's such an insignificant little prize and it's kind of shitty and penny-pinching of them to be like, no, to a kid. Who knows? Maybe they have a really strict policy. Maybe that person was going to lose their job if they, you know, like their boss said, like, you can't be giving tokens to every last kid that comes in, you know, whatever it is. So we don't know what the extenuating circumstances are, but you know, sometimes you just gotta take no for an answer and it sucks.

Shanna

I like to think so. And I was really proud of Elle for not being too devastated by it. She didn't take it personally. She just came back and she was like, yeah, she said no. And I was like, that's great. I think I was more upset internally than Elle was. And then luckily grandma showed up and had tons of quarters in her wallet and rained quarters down on the girls so they could get prizes.

Laura

Okay, so what precious irreplaceable toys did they get out of this thing?

Shanna

Oh my god, Laura. These toys are... redonkulous. Okay. This thing, for some reason, has a surplus of these rubbery...

Laura

Oh yeah, huggy wuggies.

Shanna

Huggy wuggies. Yes, yes. So they've got a ton of these things.

Laura

I know about the Huggy Wuggies because for some reason my children are obsessed with the Huggy Wuggies, especially Augie. And like there was a period of time where we had to do a bunch of Huggy Wuggy coloring pages and my mom discovered that they love them. So my mom ordered some Huggy Wuggy plushies. on Amazon, but she didn't realize that they came in a two-pack. So she ended up accidentally getting four huggy wuggies for the boys. So the huggy wuggies are like all over the place, but the huggy wuggy obsession, they still like them, but they're not like totally obsessed with them like they were a couple months ago. So do you know who now is completely obsessed with the huggy wuggy lovies and are his lovey? Like it's become his lovey.

Shanna

Ah, Cory.

Laura

Mm-hmm. Yeah, they're all they sleep in our bed. No, Cal, our cat.

Shanna

Oh, really?

Laura

He carries them around like he's caught them, like they're a mouse he caught. I catch him standing over them doing that like meowing that cats do when they... And they all sleep in his bed with him at night. He has three huggy-wuggy stuffed animals in his bed right now, because every night he sleeps with the huggy-wuggies. I'll have to get a picture of it, because it's so creepy and hilarious.

Shanna

Yeah, you absolutely have to, because that's the thing about these huggy-wuggies is they have like a really weird creepy smile, right?

Laura

They're very creepy. It's like sharp, jagged teeth, and yeah, it's very creepy.

Shanna

Oh, my gosh. So, well, Cal would love the prize machine at the Presto Pasta near me because they roll those prizes out a lot. And then, you know, it's like little squish sensory balls and little cars. I mean, whatever, you know, just little plastic crap, more or less. But It's the act of getting the prize that's very exciting, I think.

Laura

My follow-up question is they, of course, have kept these in pristine condition and know exactly where they are right now, right? Yes, Laura.

Shanna

They have a curio cabinet set up to display all of their... Yeah, right. Who knows where any of this is. They never touch it again.

Laura

Radley's pooping him out as we speak.

Shanna

100% a creepy little jagged toothed smile face just comes out of his butt.

Laura

Next time you take him on a walk and you have to clean up his poop, there's like an embedded, huggy, wuggy.

Shanna

It is. It really is. Let's move on to our BFPs and BFNs. Okay.

Laura

This one is just that. Do you remember how we went to the Tank Museum with one of Augie's new friends a couple of weeks ago?

Shanna

Yeah.

Laura

And at the Tank Museum, his mom revealed that they were moving out of town in a few weeks. Yeah. Well, you know, I was on the fence about like whether I should continue to nurture this friendship or like, is it just setting Augie up for. Sadness, but I decided, you know, I like these people. Augie loves the kid. I really like the mom. They're not gone yet. So like let's carpe fucking DM, you know, and have them over for a play date. So we had them over for a play date this weekend. It ended up being like a six hour play date. I feel like it was so long. And the boys just got along so well. They had the most fun. His friend brought over a little like tackle box full of tiny army men, you know, the little tiny army figurines. Like from Toy Story. And they didn't even get past the entryway. They had to set up this whole battle right in front of the door with all of them.

Shanna

Yeah, had a great playdate. That's awesome. For a minute there, I thought you were going to say that your BFP was that the playdate went so well that you convinced them to not move and stay in town.

Laura

I do think that the mom is a little disappointed that we didn't find each other sooner. We've had the whole year and we're like, hey, how come we're only becoming friends now? This sucks. But it is what it is. The only thing is I haven't told Augie yet. I still don't know when to tell him that he's moving, you know, like how much advance notice. I don't know. It's really tricky. So when are they moving at the end of the month? So there's still a few more weeks.

Shanna

Hmm. Yeah, that's hard. I remember a friend moved away from my neighborhood when I was like six and I felt very sad about it. I remember no other details.

Laura

Uh, but I do remember feeling sad. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't want him to be anticipatory sad. You know what I mean? But also I keep waiting for the kid to like tell him. at school or something so maybe that's very cowardly of me but you know be like we're packing up our house does the kid know oh yeah they know their movie he like he knows they're moving they've been to their new house in the new state and all that stuff so it's like the kid knows so i keep i feel like maybe i should just ask augie and he'll be like oh yeah i knew that already. You know.

Shanna

Yeah, that's possible. That's possible. Yeah.

Laura

But anyway, the BFP is that we had such a nice little playdate and we're getting to know them as much as we can now. Aw, fun. I know. How about you? Do you have a BFP or a BFN?

Shanna

I have a BFP. Yay. I think I've mentioned before that I've signed the girls up for swimming lessons at the YMCA that we go to. And the conundrum really is that the lessons are not at the same time because they're in different level classes, right? So they're kind of back to back. And what that has meant in the past is that I kind of sit in the lobby with the other child, you know, while their sibling is swimming. And the kids don't really like sitting around. I don't love sitting around. And it's just been a little bit of a drawback to this whole situation. However, this week I realized that the YMCA offers something called the Child Activity Center. And I had known about it, but I thought maybe it was for like babies or like much younger kids. But on a fluke, I was like, girls, do you want to go check out the Child Activity Center? And at first I was like, no, I don't want to.

Laura

And so you just like help facilitate the transfer basically?

Shanna

Exactly. Like I exercise for 25, 30 minutes, then I go get L, like do the switch. And then I go back to doing what I was doing.

Laura

Very clever, very clever. Well, your Y sounds very, very convenient and useful.

Shanna

It is. I really love that place. My affection for that place just keeps deepening. Well, that's so great. I love that for you. Thank you. And I think that is it for our show. I think you're right. Listeners, thank you so much for tuning in to our show. If you would like to support our show, please share this episode or another one with one of your friends. Or if you haven't yet, could you do us a favor, please? And head on over to Apple Podcasts. Leave us a five-star review. Say a few things you love about the show. We might read your review on an upcoming episode. And if you have any, they said, what? But you want to share with us, we would love to hear them. Laura, where can everyone find us?

Laura

We're on all the social medias at BFP Podcasts. We have a website, bigfatpositivepodcast.com. And if you want to send us an email, just send it to contact at bigfatpositivepodcast.com. And finally, if you want to join the coolest group of people on the internet, just search Big Fat Positive Community on Facebook. And make sure to request a join and answer the two membership questions you get because it's a private group. So you got to make sure to let us know you are not a robot. But if you are not a robot, you can be sent through to the amazing conversations we're having in there.

Shanna

Our show is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thanks for listening, everyone. Have a Big Fat Positive week. Bye. Bye.