Night Terrors: What They Are and What Helps – Ep. 350

Laura

Welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. This week, we have our weekly check-ins. We have our special segment, OMG, I'm freaking out, where Shanna needs a digital detox and Laura might need an exorcist. And we close with our BFPs and BFNs for the week. Just a heads up, there was a little issue with Shanna's audio, so she may sound a little different than usual. We really apologize for that, but we will be fixing that for the next episode. But for now, let's get to it.

Shanna

Oh, my gosh. We just need to keep doing this every Monday for the next seven years, and we'll be there.

Laura

So close yet so far. So close. But I think for now we need to focus on the present, focus on the here and now. And I need you to tell me what's been going on this week. We had a bit of an adventure that I'm going to talk about. Ooh, I love an adventure.

Shanna

It's been very rainy here in LA this week and I thought ooh rain here often means snow up in the surrounding mountains and I've been telling the girls that I'm gonna take them to see the snow or play in the snow. Because last time we did that, it was like two years ago when it was a big fluke and it snowed here in LA and we drove to the next neighborhood and like played in one centimeter of snow, right? Let's do something more legit. So I spontaneously booked us a cottage in Lake Arrowhead, which is a little mountain town about an hour and a half away. and decided that we were going to go up to the mountains and find some snow and have a family adventure this weekend.

Laura

I love how spontaneously you decided this and so fun. I was a little bit jealous, but we did get our snow trip not that long ago. So I knew you were going to do this and this is not news to me because I feel like I played a pivotal role in this adventure. Oh, you did, my friend.

Shanna

Because as soon as I booked the cottage, I thought to myself, uh-oh, we have no clothes for cold weather whatsoever. If you remember when I talked about taking CECE ice skating, it's like she was wearing a hoodie from when she was an infant and she was wearing my puffy jacket. You're not quick for this.

Laura

Yeah. And I couldn't have been happier to get some use out of our stuff because that's the thing about buying snow gear for your kids when you live in Southern California is that at most they get used like a few times, you know, and then they grow out of them. So I was like, please make this purchase worthwhile.

Shanna

Totally. I did not want to spend a lot of money on this stuff, especially because the kids outgrow it so quickly, right?

Laura

Exactly. Okay, so I feel like I didn't really get a lot of updates, though. Like, I knew you were going. I saw some pictures on Instagram, but other than that, I didn't really get a report. So I'm so curious to hear how it went and what it was like up there and all the good stuff. Okay.

Shanna

Well, like I said, once I booked this thing with an excited fury, I almost immediately started to panic because not only did I have to scramble and get everything ready because we were leaving in like two and a half days. I also started to panic about, oh my gosh, is this going to be another one of our trips where we go and the kids get sick or like the drive is horrible. I just feel like we've had so many trips that are beleaguered by problems.

Laura

And I was kind of worried about that. Understandably. So can you tell people like how long the drive is, that sort of thing so we have a sense of what kind of a trip we're taking?

Shanna

Absolutely. Like Arrowhead is up in the San Bernardino Mountains, which is about an hour and a half from our house in good traffic, like no traffic. Right? So that's why I was like, okay, that's easy. It's not as far as Big Bear, which would be like two, two and a half hours. I'm not gonna push my kids, okay? Hour and a half through the mountains, and it is a windy drive. My kids often get queasy. They get car sick. They cannot look at screens. They cannot read books. They can't do anything in the car because they get queasy. So it's always a bit of a challenge.

Laura

That was me as a kid. I was the kid who would get car sick. And all I wanted to do was read a book in the car. And my mom would be like, Laura, stop reading. You're going to get sick. I'm like, but I'm bored.

Shanna

I know. I know. It makes me feel so bad. Yes. OK, so you understand my kids' pain because I won't let them do that stuff. So they were pretty bored. We did listen to music, lots of their favorite songs on Spotify. We did our best to get through.

Laura

So that was like 90 minutes of more potato, more potato, more potato.

Shanna

Yeah, that and just my baby doggy. Just my baby doggy.

Laura

I blame your kids for introducing my kids to those songs by the way.

Shanna

Oh boy oh boy that is that's a topic for a grapewater I swear I have it on my list we're gonna do a deep dive on all that crap one of these days. Okay.

Laura

And for now I apologize. So you're listening to music you're driving up.

Shanna

Luckily, the prospect of seeing snow was keeping them on edge and excited enough to not complain too much on the drive up there. At some point, they're like, hot snow, it's snow! And they point to the side of the road and we're like, no, that's just a white sandbag with it. Road workers, wait, I'm sorry. Like, common kids. Need more experience was snow. It was really sad. And I should mention that by this time, the weather was clear. The skies were clear. The storm had passed, which was also why I wanted to go this weekend because I knew that it was predicted to be clear skies. So we finally get to Lake Arrowhead and there is barely any snow left on the ground.

Laura

Oh no.

Shanna

The temperature had jumped up probably like 20 degrees from the day before. So all the snow they had just gotten was more or less gone, you know, except in like the shady areas there's like piles of ice. Laura and my kids are so easily excited by snow that they thought this was the best thing ever. They're like, oh my god, a snow! And went over to these little piles of ice on the grounds of the inn we were at. And they're like poking in. They're like, can we play with this? I'm like, sure. I'm like, thank god. Because I thought they were going to be so disappointed. I was just laughing at myself for all of these snow clothes that I packed. probably like a hundred pounds of snow clothes and boots and everything and they're like poking at a pile of like ice.

Laura

So I was in a great mood about that. I thought you said you were staying in an Airbnb, but you just mentioned an inn, which sounds extremely quaint.

Shanna

Oh, so quaint. Gosh, I love like Arrowhead. It really is such a quaint, charming town and it has all these inns all over the place. And we stayed in one that had cottages with little cabins, individual little things all over the property. And so we got our own little cottage on the grounds of the inn, right? And there's pine trees everywhere. And oh, It was just so nice. And the highlight maybe of the entire trip is that this little cottage was two stories. It had stairs. The girls lost their mind. They loved this so much. Like we got there early in the day and we're able to check in early and stuff so that we could go off and do like some snow tubing, right? But these girls just wanted to like stay in this little cottage and play on the stairs and stuff. So I had to get them out of there so we could go actually have a snow adventure.

Laura

So is there like a tubing hill or something nearby that makes snow so you could actually experience real snow or was it also just a sheet of ice?

Shanna

I wasn't sure what it was going to be, but I did do a lot of research on what was up there and there are several snow tubing parks up in the area. and we chose the one that was closest and that charged you by the hour. Because a lot of these places, you pay a pretty high fee for an entire day. And I was like, there's no way these kids are going to be able to tube all day. One hour is going to be max. I just know it. So that's where we went and it was perfect. They generated snow that morning or whatever. So it really did look like a perfectly snowy landscape. Just enough snow to slide down the hills. There was like a little hill, a medium and a big one. So this was the opportunity to finally use all the snow gear that you had given us. Thank you. These kids got decked out. They loved the goggles in particular.

Laura

Did you have to carry all their shit up the stairs? Like I did was when we went tubing, there wasn't even stairs. There were just like a slope off to the side and we had to like not only drag the tubes up for the kids, but we had to drag like the kids in the tubes.

Shanna

This place had steps built in, so I wouldn't have been able to drag the kids on the tube, although I'm sure they would have made me do that. I did carry the tubes for them most of the time, yeah. They're big, you know, and the kids are little, so.

Laura

Yeah, that's fair as long as you didn't have to carry them. I like that was like the most cardio I've gotten in years cumulatively On that one day that I had to climb up and it's not like 9,000 feet and keystone. So yeah

Shanna

Yeah, I can only imagine because I did this for an hour at like 6,000 feet, and I didn't carry kids, and I was pooped by the end of it. Steve and I were like, oh my God, our muscles are aching. We're so exhausted. Yeah, but worth it though. Zooming down those hills is so fun. So fun, yeah. Well, that's so fun.

Laura

I'm so glad you guys got to do that.

Shanna

Me too. And then a couple other highlights from the trip. The next day we went to a place called Sky Park at Santa's Village and we spent all day there from open to close like 9 to 5 and it was so fun. It's like a little adventure park up in the forest. There was ziplining and rock climbing and restaurants and it's like a Christmas theme. We went ice skating. I had no idea this adorable little park was up there. But we had so much fun doing that.

Laura

Well, that sounds really fun. OK, but did your kids think they were going to get Christmas presents because they were at Santa's Village?

Shanna

They were definitely eyeing everything in the gift shop. Hardcore. I'm like, no, CeCe, we don't need a Christmas mouse stuffed animal the size of your femur. No, we're not doing that. I did buy a Christmas ornament, though, you know, as a souvenir or something. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Hopefully I can keep track of that and find it next year. here's open but the real highlight of the trip I think is that the girls are older now they're a little bit more mature and there was just less drama this was probably the best family trip that we've taken to date we've had a lot of great trips but there was not like the sleeping drama the just fighting, getting sick. Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. We went out to dinner a few times. I even made a reservation at the fancy restaurant that was on site at our inn. It was like a steakhouse. I was like, girls, we're doing a fancy dinner tonight.

Laura

It's inspiring to me because I am not out of the shit show travel phase yet. You know, like there's so much drama every time we go anywhere. So yes, I appreciate the glimmer of hope that you're giving us.

Shanna

Yay, I'm so glad. I mean, you know, there's some downsides. The drive home sucked because there was like a broken down semi. We were stuck on the mountain and it was, oh, I'm queasy. Oh my God, it's so boring. It was very difficult, but the ups far outweighed the downs this time around. And so I'm just very delighted. We're left with great memories. And yeah, here to tell you, it gets better. Well, thank you for that.

Laura

I look forward to it getting better at some point.

Shanna

It will, it will. But what about you all? What did you do? I'm assuming you didn't take a trip because I feel like you have been go, go, go, go, going for like the last three weeks.

Laura

Yes, you are correct. We have been go, go, go, go, going. I feel like for just since Christmas almost, I just feel like we have not had a moment's rest. And I know that's not entirely true. And every time I start sort of complaining about this, I'm always like, count your blessings, don't be a whiner, don't be a complainer. There's a lot of worse things going on in the world, but I have been exhausted, overextended, if you will. And so my goal for this week was to do nothing. Just do nothing like we had no birthday parties coming up. We had no events like just chill out and do nothing. How did it go? Well, OK, the only wrinkle was that Cal, my cat who is still with us had a doctor's appointment on Thursday of this week and it was supposed to be for a dental cleaning. And it actually was supposed to be for both Magnus and Cal, RIP Magnus, but Magnus didn't make it.

Shanna

Yeah.

Laura

Let's just do it. So the poor dude was at the vet all day. I took him home. I think at like six o'clock they called me to bring him home because it took him longer to wake up from the anesthesia, blah, blah, blah. This dude was out of it. And his poor mouth, he had like stitches in his mouth. You know, it's like all swollen and like a little bit bloody. Oh, my poor little dude, he's been having a rough week. Like as of today, I think he's kind of turning the corner a little bit. But all weekend, he like didn't want to eat. I ended up giving him like the leftover appetite stimulant that I had for Magnus to try to get him to eat more because obviously his mouth hurts and I get it. But like he didn't want to eat anything. I'm like running to the store to buy every single type of wet food, churu treats, all the like those little tube treats that the cats love.

Shanna

Good. Oh my gosh. It's wild how we have so many little beings that need us, but you know, we have so much love and we have all of these little creatures and we have our kids and our cats and you know, but They need us.

Laura

They do. I find myself sometimes getting into this resentful mode where I'm like, all I am doing is caretaking. I'll even get resentful at the cats because I'm like, look cats, I love you. You're adorable and sweet and part of our family. But I need 10 minutes of not taking care of someone.

Shanna

Totally. Oh my gosh. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Laura

But anyway, he seems to be doing better. I'm hoping for no more drama this week. And maybe I can take care of myself a little bit coming up. All right. I'm holding out hope for you. Okay. But that's it for me for my check-in. Shall we move on to our special segment? Oh, yes.

Shanna

We're back, and this week's special segment is OMG I'm Freaking Out, where we share the parenting-related issues that have been on our mind recently that might be activating our amygdalas. Laura, you are up first. What's your OMG I'm Freaking Out?

Laura

Oh boy, I feel like my amygdala has been on. just overactive mode for a while as I have been discussing. You know what? I had a hard time picking one for this one because there's a lot of options. But I'm going to talk about something that's happening really recently. And yeah, it's really freaking me out. So Augie has his moments in the middle of the night where he likes to call for Corey, right? I was talking to Corey about this last night, actually. He's like, why does Augie only call for me in the middle of the night?

Shanna

Right. Right. Because daddy's available.

Laura

Exactly. And so for whatever reason, you know, he will call for Corey a lot. Like we'll hear in the middle of the night, you know, maybe once a week, twice a week. Daddy will you come sit next to me because he's had a bad dream or something right. Understandable and you know I don't really intervene because it's it's on Corey right like if he doesn't want to do it. He's gonna have to come up with some kind of parenting approach right to figure it out. But something has kind of changed recently, and that's what I wanted to talk about, which is a couple of weeks ago, I think this happened for the first time where we hear him kind of screaming in the middle of the night, but not calling for Corey. Usually you hear daddy. It's the same phrase every time. Daddy, will you come sit next to me? Every time, right? But no, this time it's like, ah, and he'll go like, mama, mama.

Shanna

Aw, poor buddy. It sounds like he's almost still processing or talking about what his dream is.

Laura

Yeah, he's not making eye contact with me. He's like half, his eyes are like half open. He was still, I think, experiencing his dream. Like, he kept saying, like, it's mine. And then in other times, it was like, no, stop. And then there was another night where he was like, no, mama, no, you're melting. You're melting. And I was like, oh my god. Sport Chime is having a nightmare.

Shanna

Yeah, well, he gets it from you.

Laura

Yeah, I don't think I act like I don't think I have this thing like the sleepwalking thing with it. But you know, I totally understand the vivid nightmare thing but watching him sort of enact it live and he was like throwing his body around the upper bunk. The incident that actually happened this week so we have we've had like a couple of these night care incidents recently and the one that happened this week he actually stood up and that really freaked me out cause I was like what if he does this while I'm not in the room and he tries to like throw himself off the bed.

Shanna

Yeah, that quick switch is so interesting because some of the tips that I've read over the years include things like offering them a sip of water or like little things that sometimes can snap them out of it. But it didn't occur to me that they might snap out of it, but then snap back into it. So I'm sure you remember I've had a very long history of night terrors with CeCe that are so extreme and go on for like at least an hour and can get very physical. How long are these lasting and what do you do until they finish?

Laura

You know, there are only about 10 minutes, 10, 15 minutes, I want to say. The way I've been dealing with them is I've been like holding him and rocking him. And the last time I started singing to him and that seemed to help, like singing. I sang the lullabies I would sing to him as like a little baby. And that seemed to work. It's like the stuff he won't let me sing to him now because he's like, no, don't sing. And I'm like, OK. But yeah, I mean, that's my tactic is just like trying to be physically there. And well, actually, I have one more very nerdy thing that I'm trying to do with him, which is I'm trying to get him to practice having reality checks. Have we talked about this?

Shanna

I don't think so. I thought you were going to say you were encouraging him to create a spreadsheet.

Laura

No, but I probably should know that No, so I learned about reality checks from an episode of radio lab I think probably 15 years ago that was about lucid dreaming and it really resonated with me because I as you know have like really really vivid dreams and sometimes it was very distressing to have these dreams and And one thing they tell you to do if you want to try to learn how to lose a dream, which is like be aware of the fact that you're dreaming inside of a dream. And so you can be less like anxious and whatever and maybe take control is create something called a reality check, which is something you can do in your daily life that will then get repeated in the dream. But in the dream, it will have like a different outcome. And that makes you realize that you're in a dream, right? And my version of that is trying to push my thumb through my palm.

Shanna

Yeah. So are there any other specific ways that this is making you freak out?

Laura

Well, first of all, it just physically makes me freak out because it's super activating to get woken up out of your deep sleep in the middle of the night by your kid screaming. And so like my nervous system gets shot to hell after this. Like I, you know, once Augie got back to sleep, which really didn't take that long, probably like 20 minutes, I couldn't get back to sleep. I was just up thinking about all the things that were wrong in the world and all the things I had to freak out about. You know what I mean? Like it just got my anxiety going. But then the other thing, which is totally illogical, but comes to mind at two in the morning when you're sitting in a dark room with your screaming child is that you understand why people do exorcisms on children.

Shanna

Because they don't seem present. They seem possessed. Yeah.

Laura

And he was like thriving, you know, like throwing his body around and it's just creepy. So it definitely got me sort of creeped out on a paranormal level. Okay.

Shanna

Also, you grew up with ghosts in your home as a child. So, you know, it's natural to...

Laura

Yeah.

Shanna

Have your mind go there, maybe?

Laura

There is that. Yeah, I definitely, I don't love sitting in a dark room at two in the morning with a like already sense of foreboding because of what's going on. But yeah, thankfully, no ghosts have presented themselves yet. But anyway, that is currently what's freaking me out. So wait, does Cece still have her night terrors or have those gone away? I feel like you haven't talked about them in a long time.

Shanna

She occasionally has them, not as often as before. She actually had one last night where she woke up and went to use the bathroom but in a sleep state. And Steve went in to try to help her and she just was...

Laura

And by the way, apparently only draining for me or the parents, because in the morning, he has zero recollection of any of it. He's been like the most chipper, delightful young man when he wakes up. He's like, uh, mama, I love you. I'm like. Do you remember last night when I had to come in? What? No. You know, like just completely no idea. So I guess that's a silver lining.

Shanna

I think it is. Yeah, I'm glad that they don't remember. That's definitely good.

Laura

Yeah. Anyway, that was my OMGM freaking out. Shanna, I would love to hear what you're freaking out about.

Shanna

I've had a couple specific instances recently with my kids that have brought about a bit of panic. in me that I definitely want to discuss and see if anyone else out there is feeling this way. Okay. Okay, first example. For her birthday, Elle got a pretty complicated puzzle for a nine-year-old. It was like a 500-piece Cheetos brand puzzle, okay? Cheetos, yeah.

Laura

I did not know that they made such a thing.

Shanna

They do. This was a present from CeCe. CeCe specifically picked this out because she knows how much Elle loves Cheetos.

Laura

But I get it. It's so different when it's your own kids. I don't know what it is. It's like they're allergic to taking instruction from you or something. Uh, Augie's the same way, and so is Sebastian. It's like if I try to show them anything, they're just like, no, I'd do it. Or like, I'm just like, guys, I have wisdom and knowledge to share. Right? Why don't they let us impart our wisdom? I don't know why they won't let us do it. It's the same thing with like learning to read and letters like Sebastian. I don't know. I wouldn't call it behind, but he's definitely not ahead on learning his letters and his alphabet and all that stuff. But he just will not listen to me if I try to teach him. So I'm like, well, I guess it's going to be something else. I mean, same with math. So Augie loves number blocks, which is a show that I guess is on YouTube and Netflix.

Shanna

Yes. And you know, my mom often talks about how fun it was when me and my brother were little. She's like, you were sponges. You were learned so fast. And I just had this vision of my childhood of my mom teaching me things and me being like, whoa, and picking it up so fast. So that's why I'm like, is it me? Is it this generation? Like the kids have been exposed to, you know, all this media. And so we're boring in comparison. And then. I'm freaked out that I'm automatically jumping to those bits of media to want to teach my kids. And I don't want to do that. So I don't know. It's just really been on my mind. And I'm really curious if any other parents have had the same instinct to just be like, well, let's just look it up on YouTube, you know? Yeah. And is there anything I can do to combat that? And I don't know, share my own wisdom, I guess.

Laura

Yeah. Because this can't be 100% universal because a lot of people homeschool. Yeah, some people must have the capacity and the capabilities to teach their children. But yeah, I mean, I'm with you on this because I well, I don't default to YouTube quite yet. I do just default to sort of giving up. Because we're not quite at the age yet. Like I'm still in this mindset of like, well, you know, I don't know if I need to do any direct instruction yet. They're still kinder and younger. I'm like, they're going to learn just through play and all this stuff. But at some point, I am going to have to do direct instruction and Augie is so resistant to it. So I just, I don't know. I need help. I guess that's why parents hire tutors or part of the reason. Yeah. You know, I don't know. It's very tricky.

Shanna

Yeah. Yeah, true. And I think they want to prove to me and Steve that they are independent and capable and smart. It's almost like if they admit that they need help with something like that, it's showing a weakness that they aren't smart or aren't independent and stuff like that. It's like, no, no, no.

Laura

I know you are. I know you are. Something I've been trying to do because I've had similar concerns is I'm trying to model more times when I'm learning something or I'm not good at something because I think Gia told me this. She was like, they look at you and they just think you know everything already. And they don't realize that you also had to learn all these things and you are constantly learning still. So I am trying to model like when I'm trying something new, when I'm learning something, when I'm failing a little bit. I don't know the results aren't in yet, but that's something I'm trying. I like that idea.

Shanna

That's great. Yeah. because they probably feel so frustrated when they try new things and, quote unquote, fail or come up against stumbling blocks, but then they look at us and we don't come across those types of stumbling blocks. So I like that idea.

Laura

It reminds me of the Ira Glasses artist problem. I feel like we've talked about this before. Have we talked about this? I don't know. So Ira Glass, who's like the famous host of This American Life, you know, the OG Podcaster, if you will. Yes. He had an article he wrote ages ago that was about how when people start to create art, they do it because they love the art form, right? Like they love consuming, you know, let's say you want to make movies. They love movies. But the problem is that your taste level and your ability level do not match, right? So you come in and you have great taste, right? You love like you have great taste in art. And then what you create is bad because it's always going to be bad when you start. And the key to becoming a good artist is just persevering through that gap, right?

Shanna

Oh, yeah. I love that. And I feel like that all comes back to the growth mindset, too, that we can learn things. We don't just be born with all of this knowledge and we're either smarter or not. And so it's always good to remind your kids of that, too. So I think that modeling really fits into that.

Laura

It just sucks that you can't just yell at your kids, have a growth mindset. And it works, you know.

Shanna

I know that would be so much easier for me.

Laura

Where's your damn growth mindset?

Shanna

Oh my gosh. Well, that felt good to discuss and get off my chest and know I'm not alone in this. So thank you friend for being a listening ear.

Laura

Of course. And you know what? Maybe there's a YouTube tutorial to help you get through this.

Shanna

I have a BFP. Yay. Yay. This week was Valentine's Day.

Laura

Ooh, romantic.

Shanna

Oh, well, that wasn't the word I was going to use, sadly.

Laura

Yes, they have various rules like August is a no food Valentine's Day thing. And then Sebastian's actually, I don't think there are any rules. So it is a massive free for all. I feel like we've talked about this in past years.

Shanna

Yes, yes, lots of goodie bags given out on Valentine's Day. But I usually try to just focus on cards like let's get these kids to give some cards to their friends and This year because I got a color printer for Christmas and I'm always looking for opportunities to use it and also opportunities to teach the kids some new creative I was like, hey, does anyone want to design their own valentines this year instead of buying a pack at wherever? And they were both on board. So I was like, okay, let's do this. So I sat down with CECE and we opened up Canva, which I really love using. It's easy and fun and creative. And as usual, she wanted to take the lead. I'm like, why don't you tell me what to do and where to put stuff? She's like, no, let me hold the computer.

Laura

That's genius. I love that. You know i love about this i'm a person who's like we need to make a handmade card and i think augies first valentine's at his preschool that's now smashers preschool i was like let's just do a craft where we put out a big sheet of paper or card stock whatever and you guys watercolor and that'll be you know whatever that'll be the card. And then I felt like such an underachiever because like I had this tiny little handmade card and everyone else is giving gift bags and stuff. Uh-huh. But like this is nice because it's like doing a handmade card, but just a little bit extra, right? Like it's not some kids art. So you get to have a little bit more of a polish to it.

Shanna

Yeah. And what I really also loved is that we just typed out her name on the card. So there was no sitting at the table like we have the last several years where I'm like, write your name on this card, write your name on this card. You know, I'm over it. We just printed it up. These kids don't look at these things long anyway, right? So we just printed it up and that was it. And it really captured her personality. You know, it's like, what do you want on your Valentine's Day card? Cats. She loves cats, right? We found a bunch of cats. I had to quell my own design desires because I was like, the style of that cat doesn't really match the style of that cat. Who cares? It's her card. She's in kindergarten. Let her do what she wants to do. I did align things a little bit to make them align. And I did, I think, a little drop shadow under the cats.

Laura

Yeah, I'm dying to see these. I was like, when are you gonna send me pictures? Okay, so I'm looking at this first one, which has a bunch of different cats. And I see what you mean about the style mismatch. Like one of them looks like a 3D style rendering. And there's some like cartoony, kawaii kind of one. But you restrain yourself. You let her have her design going. So this is actually super cute. I do love the kitten drinking boba.

Shanna

Yeah. So cute.

Laura

Oh my goodness. And L's really are, they look like they're store bought. My goodness. Like this looks like a Gravity Falls store bought pack that she made, except for her name is printed on it. Thank you for being my bestie. You're like so awesome, dude. We go together like glitter and glue. Oh my goodness. Let's stick together like glitter and glue. Is that a thing on the show? I think so, yeah. And then I've got my eye on you, which is that like creepy pyramid thing with the eye that's on the dollar bills that I guess must be part of Gravity Falls.

Shanna

Yes. It was her idea to change his pupil to a heart. Oh my goodness. I was like, you're so clever. I did step in and help with some of the design stuff in these two. But that really points to what the BFP is here was working with my kids on this creative project. I love doing this kind of stuff. And, you know, working together with them, it was really, really fun. And we had a great time. And then they had a unique little something to hand out on Valentine's Day.

Laura

I love this. I'm stealing this idea for next year. I'm thinking about Procreate because Augie loves drawing on Procreate with the Apple Pencil. And I shudder to think what apocalyptic scene he'd draw. for Valentine's, but I do want to try it. So I should put a reminder in for like January 10th so that I can get on this because the only thing I can think of is that they would be trying to do this at 8 p.m. on February 13th.

Shanna

Yeah, yep, there was a lot of that in our house. So I like your idea of setting a reminder for earlier. Awesome. Yeah, that was our BFP.

Laura

What about you? You have a BFP or BFN? Okay, so I have a BFN only because I had so many OMGs I'm freaking out. All right, I have to use them up. Okay, so this happened. I don't even remember what day this week some random day this week Wednesday, let's just say it was my turn to take the kids to school and so we went out to the car to buckle them in and I had to like reach in between the two captain seats which are on the second row of the minivan you know to grab something which is where their car seats are. And I reached in and I looked and I saw both of their seat belts dangling away from the buckle. Like they were cinched into the car seat and just hanging loose after that.

Shanna

Wait, the seat wasn't connected to the anchors? Correct.

Laura

So we use the seat belt path on both of them. And you put them through the back of the seat and then you buckle it in. And they both have like cinchings mechanisms, right? So that the seat belt sort of stays in the place it's supposed to be. And so at some point, and I honestly have no idea when this happened, both of their seatbelts got unbuckled. And they've just been riding around in car seats that have not been buckled in for, I don't know, could have been once, could have been a week. I have no idea, Shanna. Oh my god, did you ask them if they unbuckled them? Yes, because my, so my top theory is that Sebastian, you know, we usually drop Augie off. His school starts at 810 and Sebastian's school starts at 830 and like it doesn't open until 830. So we have 20 minutes to kill and it's it. three-minute drive, right?

Shanna

Yeah. Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. That is just the worst feeling.

Laura

So to confirm it was both of their seats? Yeah, it was both of them. The only other theory I have is that maybe when we were moving something large, like we got some big items at Costco recently and maybe when we were like sliding them in, it bumped the buckle or something, right? You know, like the box kind of fell down on it or something. Yeah. But whatever it was, I now am like mentally and like, you got to check every time because you never know. Like if it happened once, it might happen again. And I talked to both of them. Like they're not copying to it. Sebastian's like, no, no. And Augie, I really believe he is telling the truth because he's one of those kids who's like, if he's a little loose, he's like, mama, I'm loose. You got to tighten me up. Like he's very nervous about car seats.

Shanna

Yeah, for sure. Well, that's such a great reminder and hopefully that experience and you sharing it will help others keep that on top of mind too. Yes.

Laura

Yes, I hope so. But anyway, that is it for me. But, Shanna, I think we should end on a higher note. Do you have something to cheer us up? Oh, I do.

Shanna

It's a five star review. We got a new five star review from soon to be mom of three on Apple podcast. The title of the review is just a bunch of gold stars, like literally not the words, but just like 15 gold stars. emojis. I love it. Okay. And then the five star rating. And then here's the review. I absolutely love this podcast. I've been listening since 2021 when I had my first daughter and have been meaning to leave a five star review ever since. I found so much joy and companionship and listening to these ladies share their week to week experiences. The podcast is funny, helpful, honest, and has me looking forward to Mondays. I was the first of my friends to have kids and I moved to a new state during the pandemic. So finding this podcast really helped me feel like I had some mom friends out there. Now I happily recommend Big Fat Positive to any new mom I know.

Laura

Yeah. Thank you so much for that great review. And you know what? She makes a really good point, which is even though she's been meaning to leave a five star review since 2021, it's never too late. And we really appreciate that you left it now.

Shanna

Absolutely. And listeners, if you would like to leave us a five star review, we might read it on an upcoming episode. So please do us a favor. Head on over to Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon, wherever you listen. Drop those five stars. Say a few things you love about the show. And you might hear your review on an upcoming episode. If you have any OMGs I'm freaking out, you know we would love to hear them, Laura. Where can everyone find us?

Laura

We are on all the social medias at BFB Podcast. We have a website, bigfappositivepodcast.com. And if you want to send us an email, send it to contact at bigfappositivepodcast.com. And finally, you know you want to join the coolest group of people on the internet. To do that, go to Facebook, search Big Fat Positive Community, request to join because it's a private group. And you got to answer those two membership questions so we know you're not a robot. Once you do all those things, you'll be sent through to the amazing, wonderful, supportive, hilarious conversations we're having in there.

Shanna

Our show is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thanks for listening, everyone. Have a big, fat, positive week. Bye. Bye.