A Christmas Eve Change of Plans – Ep. 343

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Shanna

Hi, welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. On this week's episode, we have our weekly check-ins. We have our special segment. They said, what? Where we get attacked and abandoned, and we wrap it up with our weekly BFPs and BFNs. Let's get started.

Hello, everyone. Welcome to episode 343. Hi, Laura.

Laura

Well, hello, Shanna.

Shanna

Hello, hello. Ho, ho, ho. It's Christmas week in BFP Land.

Laura

Yes, in BFP Land. It is Christmas week. I'm sure everyone listening is way over it, though. They're like, get that Christmas crap out of my ears.

Shanna

Yes, yes, I know, I know it's so far beyond it at this point. But Christmas or not, why don't you give us a little update about what's been going on in your world this week?

Laura

Yes, well, because of the holiday break, my kids are both home this week, no camps, no nothing, just old fashioned mama data camp.

Luckily, Corey and I both have a kind of light week this week. The TV and film industry, they completely shut down over the holidays. So no one's expecting anyone to do any work. My job job is kind of slow right now. So no one's really like expect me to do anything this week. So I got to just have fun with the kids and do stuff around the house. And we didn't have anything really special planned outside of Christmas day opening presents and stuff like that and having a big Christmas dinner with family and friends at the house. But for the rest of the week, we didn't really have anything planned. I figured there would be enough excitement with Christmas and Christmas Eve and all that stuff that we wouldn't need to do anything like big. Like I didn't plan big outings to go to kids indoor playgrounds or museums or anything. I was just like, let's keep it home. So. Nice.

And on day one of the holiday break, I was like, ooh, is this a mistake? Should we be doing more stuff? So we're being homebodies this week, which I love. I don't know about you, Shanna. I love being a homebody. I love puttering around the house, just like picking up projects to do and figuring out what needs to be done. And one of the things I realized really needed to be done one day this week, like earlier this week, I think it was on Monday, was I realized there was a bunch of weeds in the front yard that I really needed to pull.

Shanna

Okay.

Laura

If you recall, I did the whole like lawn conversion a couple years ago where I converted our lawn into a native plant garden and it's doing pretty well. The plants aren't as thriving as much as I was hoping, but you know, I'm trying to get them back into shape and some weeds have popped up. And so that morning, you know, the kids were watching TV and I was like, you know what? I'm going to go outside and pull some weeds. And I went into the garage and I got this tool that I was influenced into buying off of TikTok shop called like grandpa's best weed puller or something like that. Do you know what I'm talking about?

Shanna

Is it like a long stick attached to kind of like a square horseshoe thing and you like scrape the ground with it?

Laura

No, this one is a long stick. They all are long sticks, right? You got that part. So long stick. And at the end, there's a little like, I would maybe describe it as like a squids beak, you know, like four little prongs. A squids beak? What?

I don't know. Let's look it up and maybe you can compare side by side and you can praise me for my very eloquent description. Okay.

Shanna

Well, last I checked, squids don't have beaks. So I am extremely curious. Oh, yes. Squids have beaks. Squids have beaks. Learn something new every day. Okay. Send me a picture of this gadget thing in my jig.

Laura

Okay, well, first I'm showing you a squid's beak, which I think is less like this thing than I thought. But it's like where they eat. It's their mouth. They have this like hard beak. You just don't see it because it's kind of hiding between their tentacles. Oh my gosh!

Shanna

If you showed me a close-up picture of this squid's mouth, I would think it is like a little Hawks beak. Okay. Okay. I'm I'm with you on this.

Laura

Okay, and here's the grandpa's weeder Okay, okay.

Shanna

I see what you're talking about here It seems like it's like four prongs attached to the end of a stick and maybe the prongs open and close as a squids beak would, as it is chowing down on plankton or whatever squid.

Laura

OK. All right, continue. That was a little side quest. OK, so I had my squids beak weeder. And the minute Augie saw me with that thing, he was like, what is that? I should mention what you do is you like stick it straight down into the weed and then you like pull it sideways in this little side arm makes the pincher makes the beak close. and pulls the weed up. It's not as magical as TikTok made it seem, but it's useful in certain occasions. I've found that it doesn't work as well in my situation, but it's still better than being on my hands and knees trying to pull with my hands. So I bring this thing out and Augie was like, what is that thing? And I was like, yeah, this is the weeder. And he's like, I want to use it instantly. So I'm like, all right, let's let's do some yard work. So he went to work weeding.

And it was one of those things, Shanna, where, you know, you have those conflicted parent feelings because on one hand you're like, I'm doing this wholesome outdoor activity with my kids and he's learning how to do things that aren't just like playing video games or watching TV. Like he's learning how to do work in the yard. And I'm such a good parent. And then on the other hand, you're like, this is taking so fucking long. You're like, go away, kid. Go watch TV so mama can focus. Basically, I mean, it sucks because I was having this conflict, because I was like, oh, my sweet little baby's trying to help me. And then I was like, I could get this done so much faster. You know, like I'm just like, what do I do? Push and pull, push and pull.

Shanna

So relatable, totally.

Laura

Yeah, I mean, we all know that feeling anytime our kid says, I want to help. You're like, cool. Yes, I would like you to help.

Shanna

Yeah, you like, force a smile and say through gritted teeth. Okay, come on.

Laura

Yes, exactly. But I leaned into the let's teach him to help and let's have a moment like the weeds will be here tomorrow if we don't get to all of them, you know. Yeah. And he had so much fun. And then Sebastian wanted to come out and help too. And he happened to be in his Elsa dress that day. He has one dress. It's an Elsa dress we got from Target. And I've asked him, like, do you want other dresses? You can wear dresses more if you want. No, no, he just wants this one Elsa dress. He does kind of want to wear it every day, so he gets mad if it's dirty. But you know, I have to explain that sometimes you have to clean it, especially when you wear it out for gardening. So. He came and joined us. There was a little drama about who was going to get the weeder. And Augie was like, no, Sebastian, this is mine. I'm helping mama. She needs my help. I was like, yes, absolutely.

So Sebastian just started climbing the palm trees in his Elsa dress and his rain boots. And it was pretty funny.

Shanna

Oh my gosh.

Laura

But the funniest part of this was, you know, after about, I'd say 30 minutes, which is a pretty long time for kids. They kind of got tired and wanted to go in and have a snack or whatever. And I was like, yeah, let's go in. Let's be done with this. And we walk inside and all he goes, mama, we should wake up early every morning so we can go outside until all the weeds are gone. And I was like, wow, sure. I'm like, that sounds like a very healthy and wholesome choice. Sure. If you want to do that, let's do that. thinking no way this kid is actually voluntarily waking up early and tomorrow morning he'll wake up and be like, I don't want to go out. Sure. Oh no, the next morning I was actually the last to wake up because Corey let me sleep in while the kids woke up and when I went downstairs. Aki's waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. She's like, mama, we have to go outside and weed.

We have to get rid of the weeds. I was like, okay. Um, I was like, can I have my coffee? No, the weeds. I was like, well, I'm going to have my coffee. I got to put on some shoes and a bra probably. Uh, and we're going to pull some weeds. So we went out there and we did it again. Uh, I will report that by day three he had forgotten, but We had two good days of doing yard work together and it was very sweet.

Shanna

Aw, that's so fun. I really love that. Was his attention span for each weeding session pretty lengthy or was it like he lost interest after five minutes or so?

Laura

No, I was actually impressed. He was doing pretty well. I'd say it was like about 30 minutes each time, maybe even longer. I think because there was such a challenge to like, again, it's this heavy work thing. He loves heavy work. So he's carrying on this heavy tool and he's like trying to shove it into the dirt. He did not want help, by the way. I was like, let me help you. No, no, no, I got it. I got okay. All right. You do it. You know he's doing his heavy work and because it's like almost perfect for someone whose attention is scattered because you get one weed and then you have to like scan around and go to a completely different place for another weed. You know you're moving around your ping pong around the yard. So yeah, he was into it.

Shanna

That's awesome. And you get that little dopamine hit every time you pull out a weed, especially if you get it deep from the root. Ooh, this is so satisfying.

Laura

Yes, exactly. And that's, I think, what he was going for. He was chasing that dopamine. He was chasing that good root pull. And he would tell me, he's like, mama, I got a good one. I was like, oh, my gosh, you did get a good one. Good job, you know, with high five and stuff.

So, yeah, very wholesome activities over here this week.

Shanna

I love that. Well, if he wants to do any more weed pull-in, send him over my way, because, you know, my yard can use some of that help, too.

Laura

All right, we'll come over with the Squid Beak Weeder.

Shanna

Yes.

Laura

Now it's name. But anyway, how was your week? I know you were home with the kids, too, right?

Shanna

Oh, yes. I also work in the TV industry, but my sector did not take time off. So I had to take vacation days to have the week off, which is fine. because I like to spend that week with my kids. Anyway, in my family, a couple things to check in on. A couple weeks ago, I mentioned that I did not follow my own advice about no longer buying big ticket outdoor items for my kids, right?

Laura

Yes. Yes, you told us about the trampoline purchase.

Shanna

Yes, so the trampoline was presented to the children on Christmas. Laura, they got the trampoline.

Laura

Okay, so how'd that go? How'd you manage to even a surprise also is my question.

Shanna

So I had ordered it online and it was delivered and my FedEx guy is awesome. Apparently he came to the door, knocked on the door and I was like, oh, hey, he's like, I have this big delivery. Do you want me to put it in your garage? I don't want the kids to see it. I was like, what? Aw. How sweet is that? So I came out and opened the garage and he helped me put it in there so that the kids wouldn't see it because it's like, you know, it comes in its own box, right? You can tell right away what it is. And I thought that was really, really thoughtful. So we hid it in the garage. And let me tell you, it is a huge box, huge and super duper heavy. I felt really bad that I did not have a Christmas gift for Mike the FedEx guy after that. I felt really guilty, so I gotta follow up on that.

So I sat in there until Christmas Eve, the girls went to bed, Steve and I hauled it out into the living room. So the plan was for the trampoline to be like the big ticket exciting item from Santa, right? Like they wake up and there'll be a big huge gift and blah, blah, blah. And I was like, oh, but this box, it really just looks like it was delivered from FedEx, right? So I ripped off all of the shipping labels and I went to my printer and my Cricut and I printed up stickers that said, from the North Pole, delivery from the North Pole. And I put them all over this cardboard box. Then I wrapped it. with tons of wrapping paper. et cetera. So we set it out there and it's sitting there and Steve and I are still arranging everything else for Christmas night. And all of a sudden we hear a bedroom door open and we're like, uh-oh.

And we look up and Elle comes walking out into the living room and we're like, hi, like trying to kind of keep her out of the living room. And she pokes her head around. She's like, oh my gosh. And she saw the big, huge, big ticket item that was sitting there while we're still awake. And I'm like, oh my gosh, luckily I hadn't put any tags on it yet that said like from Santa or anything like that. She just saw the big, huge present sitting out there. And this hubbub got CECE to wake up and she comes out and they're both like out there and seeing this big item. No. No. So we get the kids back to bed and they're sleeping. And I was like, Steve, what are we going to do? Like, that was supposed to be from Santa. So they saw this huge big present, but Santa couldn't have come yet because me and Steve are still awake and doing things around the living room. You know what I mean?

So it's not like we could be like, oh, Santa came when we were, our back was turned. I don't know. It just didn't feel like that was the right choice.

Laura

Santa's name is Mike, and he helped you put it in the garage, you know?

Shanna

Yeah, exactly. Yes, Santa Mike. So I was like, we need to pivot. That gift is going to be from us. And Steve was like, yeah, that feels right anyway. You know, let us bring the cool stuff. Santa can bring the stockings. Yeah. Right? And then I was like, oh, but I covered that cardboard box and stickers that said from the North Pole. And I've already wrapped this present. And it's getting late. So it's like I got a problem solved that. So I took my Xacto knife and tried to remember where on the cardboard box I took those stickers. I sliced open the wrapping paper, stuck my hand in, pulled off all of these from the North Pole stickers, taped the box back up. And we just picked like some other random presents and like made them from Santa, made a little stack, did the stockings. And I I think we pulled it off. Laura, the kids woke up the next morning. They were none the wiser.

They had their little stacks from Santa. They were perfectly happy with that. The big ticket item was from me and daddy. They opened it very last, later in the day even. They just wanted to wait. And they were over the moon. I mean, I don't think I've ever seen them get so excited about a present ever. I usually think that the presents I get them will excite them and they never do, right? It's usually like, Oh, cool. No, this was very satisfying. They were screaming and hooting and hollering and be like, Trampoline! So it all worked out.

Laura

That's really exciting. I mean, I would have done the same if I had gotten a trampoline when I was a kid. So have you put it together yet?

Shanna

Oh, yes, we put it together. Steve took the day to put it together for them. And I have to say, I'm really excited too, because it's one of those items I always wanted as a kid. So I like jumping on it too. It does reveal any pelvic floor issues you might not have known you really had. So I got to work on that. But it is, it's fun. They love it. We've got very strict trampoline rules. that they must follow. Number one, they cannot put the dog on the trampoline with them. They're gonna put that dog on there and know it. Oh, 100%. Yeah. Right. And just some safety rules and stuff. So far so good. It's a blast. And I feel really glad that I made that decision.

Laura

Nice and nice pivot. I think it's good that the big present comes from you guys. I feel like it's, you know, I've heard all this stuff over the years about how that's the way it should be, because if for no other reason than to make it a little bit more equal for kids, like for kids whose parents can't buy them a big trampoline or can't buy them a ton of stuff, if you're saying Santa bought the trampoline, then like their best friend from school who just got a stocking with Santa or whatever are going to be like, wait, how come Santa got you that? But for me, you know, I got new socks, right? So I'm fully on board with how you pivoted. I think that's great.

Shanna

Thanks. And to be honest, they don't remember within a couple hours anyway. I'm pretty sure by the end of the day, they were like, grandma, Santa got us a trampoline. I'm like, whatever.

But yeah, so it's been keeping us busy, the trampoline, the new dog, family in town. We're just keeping busy with all that good stuff. Yeah. Yeah, that's it for my check-in. Should we move on to our special segment?

Laura

I think we should.

We are back in our special segment this week is they said what where we report on some odd or interesting or funny things that were said to us recently in our life as parents. Shanna, what's something that someone said to you recently that you'd like to talk about?

Shanna

I would like to talk about. something that my hairdresser said to me. I was getting my hair done recently and my hairdresser has two kids that are pretty much the same age as Elle and CeCe. So we talk about kids every time I go in there, right? We talk about what they're up to and we bemoan the struggles, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, all that stuff. And we started talking about kids movies, and I was like, oh, have you seen Inside Out 2? We went and saw that recently. It was really good. And she said, yeah, well, not all of it. And I was like, what? And she told me the story that I just need to relay.

Laura

Okay, she's like I took my eight-year-old daughter to go see Inside Out 2 at the movie theater at the AMC and it was a 9 o'clock showing 9 p.m. By the way, so I was gonna say Wow Both of those would have been wow it's like wow I didn't know they did 9 a.m. Showings and wow 9 p.m. Is late like for me like as a grown-ass woman I'd be like woof. I don't know if I can go see a movie at 9 o'clock. That's that's late

Shanna

Yeah, exactly. I would definitely be way more likely to go see a movie in a theater at 9 a.m. And then yeah, especially with my kid, but you know different folks different strokes So she's like we met and saw the 9 p.m. Showing of Inside Out 2 And we are watching it, and I fell asleep. And you can relate, Laura, because you recently fell asleep in a movie theater, right?

Laura

I did. I mean, her story is more relatable because it was 9 p.m. Mine was like one in the afternoon, but yeah. I did fall asleep while watching Sonic 3 recently, yes.

Shanna

So she fell asleep in the movie, which is why she didn't see the whole thing, which is why she couldn't comment on whether or not she really liked it. She told me that she woke up three hours later. Her daughter was next to her also asleep. The movie theater was completely empty. This was like 1 a.m. at this point.

So her and her daughter wake up and look around the movies over. The theater's dark. No one is in there. And she's like, what happened? And she looks at her phone. She's got like a bunch of messages that came in from her husband. You know, while her phone was on silent, like, where are you? Yeah, yeah. Her and her daughter leave that particular theater, theater seven or whatever. They come out. No one is anywhere. The theater is closed.

It is dead. She's like, what? Why didn't anybody wake us up when the movie was over? Yeah. Right? So her daughter kind of freaking out. They're like, how are we going to get out of here? And so they start walking towards the entrance and they see a cleaning person, a janitor with like a trash can, and scared the shit out of this guy because he was not expecting to see two moviegoers. leaving the theater at 1 a.m. And there was a language barrier, so they didn't really understand each other what they were saying. And she was just trying to be like, how do we get out of here? And he was like, what are you doing in here?

And eventually, obviously, he figured out they needed to leave, so he showed them the exit. And they left the theater at 1 AM in the middle of the night. It was completely shut and locked, and they went home. I was just like, what? You have got to be kidding me. How did that even happen? I'm like, my mind is so blown by this story. I just cannot even. I can't even.

Laura

I just don't know. I guess whoever was supposed to clean that theater afterwards just didn't or something, right? Like how did they just let people sleep? Oh my gosh. I feel like I would wake up and my first thought would be like some kind of apocalypse scenario, right? Like that's immediately where my brain goes. Like everyone else is gone but us.

Shanna

Oh, they've all been taken. I'm the only one left. Yeah. Yeah, totally. How eerie. So eerie. And it is just like, that must happen a lot, right? At late movies, you would think that someone would go through and check every theater. Maybe falling asleep in a theater is not as common for regular folks as tired mothers. I really don't know.

Oh, I was like, oh, I'm so sorry. That's so stressful. She's like, I know it was wild. So, man, I think about that story every time I go to the movie theater now.

Laura

Another reason to not do a 9 p.m. movie.

Shanna

Indeed, indeed. The reasons are stacking up, Laura. Yeah, they are.

All right, Laura, that's mine. What do you got for us?

Laura

Okay, mine is a little bit of a story too. Okay, so technically my they said what is they said absolutely nothing.

Shanna

Oh boy.

Laura

But I will tell you what happened surrounding this. Okay, so one morning recently I had dropped the kids off at school. And my car was filthy. And I was like, you know what I'm going to do? I am going to take everything out of the car. I'm going to like clean out all these toys and snack wrappers and everything and even take out the car seats so I can go get this car washed, right? Like this needs a top to bottom situation. And I wasn't wrong, so I came home, I parked my car right in front of my house, and I went inside and got some trash bags, and I'm filling up these trash bags with like, oh my gosh, smashed panda snacks. Do you know those panda snacks, those Hello Panda chocolate things? They're so good. A bunch of them smashed into the floors. I'm like peeling them off of the ground. Just the rappers, the endless rappers.

I realize I need to tell my children like, we can't just continue to throw our rappers on the ground when we're done with snacks. Like you need to find some receptacle.

Shanna

You need to tell them that, Laura, because telling our kids these things really yields results. Of course. I've been telling my kids this forever.

Laura

Well, what I'm thinking is I need like a trash can for the car. Same. Like a little soft sided one. I used to have one back in the day.

Shanna

Yeah. Question. Was there a random car salesman there helping you clean out the mess?

Laura

No, because that has happened in the past and it was excruciating, as you remember, from when I had to give up my old wheel of fortune car. No, I thought I was alone doing this, right? And I was just like, I had a podcast in my ear and I'm like, it's okay. We'll do better next time. Like, we're not going to be the rappers on the floor people next time. And as I'm in like the back seat of my minivan trying to clean it out, I hear little like tippy tippy tippy tippy bark bark bark behind me. And I look behind me and two tiny little chihuahuas run past me down the sidewalk. Off leash? Yes, completely off leash by themselves. So I crane my neck and I'm like looking both ways down the sidewalk to see where their owners are. And there's no owners to be seen. And I was like, oh, where are these dogs coming from? And so I stopped what I was doing because I am a good Samaritan, Shanna.

And even though I am a cat person, I do like dogs too. And I like walked down to where these dogs were a little further down the block. I was like, hey, guys, come on, come back, come back, come back. Don't like, where are you going to? I was trying to talk to them. I like little dogs. I like little chihuahuas. They're cute. So as I'm like trying to corral these dogs back I'm looking at them and I don't want to be like judgmental about how dogs look but like you had Chihuahuas or Chihuahua mixes and I thought they were very very cute Sasha and Chile. I thought we're just absolutely adorable. Thank you. These were little Chihuahua mixes They kind of had like bulldog faces on a Chihuahua body with like the deep underbite and the wrinkly face and

And I don't know if there is any bulldog and at least one of these dogs, but it was acting like it because the minute I tried to start ushering these dogs back the way they came, one of them decides he does not like me. He's like, you are not my friend. And he starts like barking at me and kind of charging at me. Now this dog probably weighs like four pounds. So I'm not particularly concerned. But I was just a little offended in my soul because I was like, dog, come on, I'm just trying to get you back. As I'm doing this, I look down the street and someone comes out of a house like three houses down and it's an older man and he's walking towards us. I was like, oh, that, that must be the owner. And I hear him kind of like whistle and try to get the dog back. And I was like, okay. I was like, there's your, there's your guy. There's your human. Go back.

And this dog is like like doing a little like stance they do. I was like, give me a break, little dog. Like go back to your person. Right. I think it's done. Right. The owners come out. The dogs are heading back in the direction of their house. It's fine. So I go back to my car, peeling the gummy snacks off the floor, corralling the like 5,000 stray Lego pieces that are just scattered about. When I hear the owner of the dog say, hey, hey, and I look out and the mean little dog that doesn't like me has run right out into the middle of the street. No. Yeah. And I was on the street side this time. I was like on the driver's side trying to clean out that side. So I was right there. So I was like, hey, dog. And so I jumped out into the street. There's cars coming, but we live on a residential street and thankfully they weren't going that fast.

So like they saw me and I was trying to like, you know, wave at the cars, be like, don't, don't run this little dog over. And I'm like, okay. stopping the car, it's like, go back, go back, go back to the street. And this dog continues to be like, at me. He's so bad. And it's at that point that I say to the dog, like, look, little guy, I know you don't like me. I'm just trying to like help you out here. Just get out, get back. Right. So this dog finally gets back to the sidewalk. That was the point where I thought maybe the owner would be like, thank you. Or I mean, I'm not looking for a medal, right? But just a pleasant treat to acknowledge that I just jumped out into traffic to like help their dog, right? Yeah. No, like absolutely no communication. I was just like, okay. So now it's awkward because these dogs are sniffing around my yard. They don't want to go back home apparently.

They're not on leash yet and they're sniffing around my yard and I'm continuing to clean out my car. And I was at the point where I was trying to undo the car seats, right? So I'm undoing the car seats and these dogs are continue to be like kind of aggro towards me while also refusing to leave my yard. And this guy is just staring at me like not saying anything. How far away is he at this point like three four feet like he's right there It's not like I like he's in my yard watching his dogs Not like telling him to leave not picking them up like and I'm just like okay. This is awkward like it's always awkward When you have like people walking by your house that you don't really know and then they have to stop and their dog has to pee and you're like it's okay. Dogs have to pee, but like I'm here like awkward. So this is even more awkward.

So anyway, I pick up my car seat and I'm walking it towards my patio to put it down. And as I come back, this dog rushes me. like rushes down and like is barking at me and kind of trapping me on my patio. And by trapping, I mean it relatively because like I could have kicked the dog if I was not a nice person and the dog would have like flown, right? He's a tiny little dog. And I'm like, little dude, I'm just doing my thing. I'm just going back and forth between my car. I know you don't like me. Leave me alone. Again, the owner, not a word, not a word as this dog is like charging at me, not a word as this dog is barking at me. So I go back to get the other car seat and as I'm walking to the car my back to the dog Like I'm just not trying not to engage this dog runs up and tries to bite me shot No. Did it succeed?

Well, luckily that day, I was wearing extra wide leg jeans, which is my new favorite type of jean. I like a very, like almost like a dress, you know, a very, very wide leg. And yeah, it totally bit the shit out of the side of my jeans. And I was just like, at that point, I think I was like, you little fucker or something like that. I was just like, I was like, stop it. Again, you want to know what this guy said? I'm so sorry. Let me take my dog. Let me help. No, Shanna. He said absolutely nothing. No. Did he even make a move to pick up his dog? No. It's so weird. So the way this finally ended because I was like trying to, I was like, should I just go inside and wait? But my car is wide open and I'm like, I need to get shit done. Finally, this guy's like, I want to say 11 year old daughter runs out and is like, oh my gosh, I'm so, so sorry. Let me get these dogs.

Like, she's the one who crawls the dogs. And I was like, thank you. You know, I was obviously I wasn't trying to be rude or anything. I was just like, yeah, I think they need to go inside now. So that is the story about how I got attacked by a vicious Chihuahua. And the owner said absolutely nothing. But it sucks too because I was thinking about what I would have done if my kids were there, and obviously I would have just corraled them inside. But if that dog tried to bite Sebastian or Augie's fingers, it could do some damage to a little kid's hand or something. Oh for sure.

Shanna

For sure.

Laura

I was so irritated at this person for absolutely having no drive or concern for corraling his too little.

Shanna

Seriously, and that would give me pause going forward in the future. You know what I mean? Like those dogs probably still live in that house and still have a blasé owner who knows when they're going to come charging out again. Have you seen them since?

Laura

Well, funny you should say that because a couple days later I was out front working in the garden and someone walked by with their dog on leash and just said, hi, hi, hi. And then a few seconds later, I hear screaming and I saw that the woman who had just walked by was getting attacked. Her dog was getting attacked by these two little Chihuahuas. And she had to scoop her dog up. And I was just like, those little fuckers, man. And they bolt out their front door. I think that's the issue is that every time the door opens, they just bolt out. Yeah. which is why they're not on leash. But yeah, it's, you know, it wasn't what I had planned for my morning. I did eventually get the car washed, I should say. And yeah, it was worth it, I guess, but did not intend to get attacked by Chihuahua in the process.

Shanna

Yeah, good thing you were wearing armor, aka white leg jeans.

Laura

I mean, just one more check in the pros column for the wide leg jeans. I was not a wide leg jean person before this, by the way, Sean. I was a solidly skinny jean millennial, right? Since I was a teenager, I hadn't even done a boot cut, but someone convinced me to try this wide leg jean, which looks wild when you look at it on the hanger, it looks like a dress, right? It's so wide. But I realize that for me, a person who's like, I'm like on the top end of straight sizes, I'm on the low end of plus sizes, like I'm right in the middle of that. But I have, you know, I have wide hips. And so when I put them on, it doesn't look like I'm wearing a dress. It just kind of looks like I'm wearing straight leg jeans because it just goes straight down for my hips. So yeah, they they act as a stylish armor against tiny, vicious dogs.

Shanna

Mom, armor. Oh, I'm glad you're okay. And they didn't get your flesh because, yeah, those little guys, they can do some damage with those little teeth.

Laura

I know. I know. Little jerks. I still love dogs, guys, even though apparently I'm a magnet for getting bitten by dogs. Oh my gosh. Poor thing. Yeah. But anyway, that is my, they said nothing for this week.

Shanna

Right on.

Laura

But anyway, I'm sure Radley would never. Radley would never do something like that.

Shanna

Never. And if he did, I would be right there to scoop him up.

Laura

I'm sure you would at least say, I'm so sorry. Let me take this dog away from you. Yeah. Just basics. Just dog owning basics. OK. That was my they said what? I think that might be the end of this segment. Do you think we should move on to our BFPs and BFNs? Oh, yes.

Shanna

We wrap up every episode with our big fat positives or big fat negatives of the week. Laura, you're up first. You have a BFP or a BFN?

Laura

I have a BFP.

Okay.

Laura

Good, good, good. Which is the gift that Santa in quotes brought for the kids this year. Ah, okay. Okay, so this is a toy I'm recommending, not just because it's a fun toy, but because I'm actually surprised with myself, A, for getting it and B, for liking it. Ah, okay. So this toy is actually something I saw at Costco months and months and months ago when I was there post making the no toys until Christmas rule, but I was there with kids. So it was one of those things where it was like real dicey because we were there and I didn't know if they were going to melt down when they saw all these Christmas toys that were being sold. But they did OK. But Sebastian requested it when he saw it, which was the Despicable Me Ultimate Fart Blaster.

Shanna

Oh, this sounds amazing. Please tell me more.

Laura

Okay. So my kids love Despicable Me and Minions and all that stuff. And I, you know what? I don't know why I have missed this as a plot point, but apparently fartblasters are a thing in these movies.

Shanna

Oh. You know, I have to. I can't say I watch the movies super carefully.

Laura

I do know this is the truth. I mean, honestly, I put it on and it was like, cool time for me to do something else, not actually watch this pickle me. I'll watch the little bits. And I think it's cute and funny and Steve Carl's funny. But, you know, I'm definitely not paying attention to the details. So, exactly. Meanwhile, my children can like name each minion. I'm like, how do you even remember which minion is which minion? But I know good for you. But this thing, it came in a huge box. It's like this two-handle blaster, but it doesn't have like a pointed nozzle. It has like a big open nozzle, almost like a megaphone. And Sebastian was like, I want this. I want this. And I was like, well, we'll talk to Santa. Should I take a picture? This is what I did all fall. I was like, we'll take a picture and I'll text it to Santa. So we took a picture.

And then later that week, I went back to Costco and I was like, yoink, fart blaster.

But it comes with this big blaster. It's like blue and it has a bunch of little minions figurines that comes with it. And of course I bought it and then I come home with it. I was like, Sebastian wanted this from Santa. So I got it. And Corey's like, you got two, right? And I was like, oh, no, I only got one because Sebastian's what he wanted. He's like, Laura, Laura, have you met our children? And I was like, Yes, good point. Turned around, went back to Costco and got a second one. Luckily, they hadn't sold out. Smart. But what I didn't know until we unwrapped them on Christmas morning was that they come with like this little fluid that you put in it to actually like blast little fart smoke blasts out of it.

Shanna

What? OMG, okay.

Laura

When I saw that, my heart sank because I was like, oh my gosh, are these going to smell like farts? Like what's happening? What have I done? And I wouldn't think that. You'd think, oh, no toy company would do something that stupid. Except for a couple of years ago, I got Sebastian a trash truck Play-Doh set. Do you remember this?

Shanna

Oh, yeah.

Laura

And it came with Play-Doh that smelled like garbage. No, it did not. Do you remember this? Oh, yes, it did. Thank goodness. I read the Amazon reviews before I gave it to him because everyone in the Amazon reviews were like, this is a great garbage truck. The trash smelling Play-Doh is absolutely disgusting. Throw it away. Do not give it to your child. And I was thinking like, oh, it couldn't be that bad, right? No toy company would make it smell that bad. When I tell you I almost threw up when I like took a whiff of it, when I first opened it, I was putrid. It was disgusting. So when he opened that, I like carefully took that little piece of play down and threw it right in the trash. So smart. But then I was like, is this going to smell like farts? Like I had the garbage truck fiasco of like 2022. What's going to happen here?

And thank goodness, I like carefully brought the like little fluid up to my nose and it actually smells like vanilla. Like it definitely like they put like nice.

But it's so cool. You like put it in and the chamber lights up and you can see like the smoke. It's like it's like vapor. It's not actual smoke, but like filling up the chamber. And then when it's ready, you pull the trigger and it makes a fart sound and it like puts out a perfect ring. It's amazing. The boys. Absolutely love it. Here, let me send you a picture.

Shanna

Please. This is like taking the whoopee cushion to a whole new level. Yes, yes. Oh my gosh, those smoke rings are amazing. I have to say, I thought it would sound more fart-like.

Laura

You know, I'm going to get some audio. I will get the fart audio because it really does. I think you just couldn't hear it because there's too much commotion going on.

Shanna

OK, OK.

Laura

But there's definitely fart sounds coming out of it. And yeah, it's hilarious. I feel like I've just fully surrendered to being a mom at this point because I feel like seven years ago, if you're like, you're going to get your children two fart blasters for Christmas, I'd be like, I don't think so. They make fart sounds in our electronic and look like guns.

Shanna

No way Not in my future cut to seven years later.

Laura

Oh, and now there might be fp But yeah, that's it for me the the fart blasters were a hit so yay yay Yay, awesome. How about you, Shanna? Do you have a BFP or a BFN?

Shanna

I have a BFP. Yay. So a couple of weeks ago, I talked about how my girls had their holiday choir concert at the Little Black Box Theater, and it was very cute, et cetera. So what I didn't mention is that when we got to the theater, Steve dropped me and the girls off. I went in, they warmed up and everything, and he and his mom went to the grocery store and got the girls flowers, right, to give to them after the show. So Steve and his mom come to the show, we all sit there. Steve has two small bouquets of flowers and so does his mom, one for each girl. So, right? So that was the plan. After the entire concert, each of our girls got two little bouquets of flowers, one from us and one from grandma. And it was cute. They love it. They love getting flowers after performances. And as you know, being a theater person, Laura, flowers after performance, It's a thing. A lot of people do it.

It's a thing. Yeah. Right? Yeah. It's a tradition. Yeah. It's a tradition. So lots of parents brought flowers for the kids that were performing that day. But there was one little boy in their kindergarten choir that did not receive flowers from his family. And he's a funny little guy. He is a character. He, oh my gosh, he was wearing like this. outrageous Christmas sweater and like a red fedora for the concert and just he's got personality for days. So after the show, each of our girls gets two bouquets of flowers, one from mommy and daddy, one from grandma, and they're very excited. They love their flowers. And we're all milling around, taking pictures, etc. And then I turn around and realize that Elle only had one bouquet of flowers. I was like, oh, where's your other bouquet of flowers?

And I turned and I realized she had given one of them to this little boy that didn't get any flowers at the show. And she's like, I gave it to him. This boy was beaming. He was over the moon that she had given that to him. And let me tell you, that is the kind of thing as a mom that makes your heart just swell. I'm like no one told Elle to do that. I wasn't like, oh, go give that boy some flowers, you know? No one did that. She just saw that he didn't have any and just chose to do that out of the kindness of her heart. It was like, wow. I'm like, oh my gosh, honey, that's so sweet. She was beaming because I think it made her feel so good to do something kind. That happened. That was really sweet. This week they went back for another rehearsal for their choir. And at the end of the rehearsal, this little boy came up to Ellen, gave her a card in an envelope and she smiled and everything.

But like, she's like, oh, well, I'll open it later. And then this boy's grandma came up and she's like, it's for the flowers. And she looked at me and she's like, he loved those flowers. I cannot tell you, he was so proud. He was showing them to everyone. And it just like really made his day and L was like beaming and everything. And then later that day we got home and she finally opened the card and read it. And it was so sweet. It was from this little boy. It said, thank you so much for the flowers. The flowers made me happy. Remember sharing is caring and then his name and I was like, oh, kindness and love in the world. Oh, it just made me and Steve feel just like really. happy and proud and, I don't know, so sweet.

Laura

That is so sweet. That's so nice. It's so nice to see your kid doing something good with absolutely no prompting. Yes. Knowing that it's really coming from their own motivation and no one was persuaded, no one was cajoled. It's just L really wanted to help this kid. And that's so sweet that they brought a card and just happiness all around. Beautiful. Yeah, so definitely BFP worthy. Do you think there's anything you did to set her up for this? Not in that day, but I feel like I can hear the inner monologue of parents of younger kids being like, how do I make my kid generous? What do I do? How do I get this outcome in my life?

Shanna

I have no idea, Laura. I don't know. I don't know where it came from. I mean, obviously, we try to teach kindness and generosity, but half the time I feel like Ellen Cici are fighting over this or that, and I wonder if any of it is sinking in. So yeah, I don't.

Laura

Well, seeped in somehow. So, good job.

Shanna

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Good job to Elle. But yeah, that's it for me, and I think that's it for our show. Unless Laura, do you have a five-star review to read?

Laura

I do. This is from a listener in Canada named Becca. It's titled, The Best Podcast Ever, Five Stars. I had my first baby in June 2021, and this podcast got me through postpartum. I have listened to every episode at least once and love every single one of them. I feel like I'm getting together with a couple of friends on a Monday night to chat about momhood. My kids are a little bit younger than yours, so I often refer back to older episodes to get advice and it's been so great. Thanks for all you do.

Shanna

Oh, Becca, thank you so much. I would love to have a Monday night mom get together. Laura, I think maybe we should start that. Anyway, listeners, if you haven't done so yet, could you please do us a favor, head on over to Apple Podcasts or Spotify or Audible, Amazon, wherever you listen. Leave us five stars, say a few things you love about this show, and we might read your review on an upcoming episode. And if you have any, they said, what's that you wanna share with us? You know we would love to hear them. Laura, where can everyone find us?

Laura

We are on all the social media platforms at BFP Podcast. We have a website, BigPapPositivePodcast.com. And if you want to send us an email, just send it to contact at BigPapPositivePodcast.com. Finally, if you want to join the coolest group of people on the internet, just search BFP Community on Facebook. It is a private group, so you got a request to join and make sure you answer those two membership questions so we know you're not a robot. But once you do that, you'll be sent straight through to all the wonderful and hilarious conversations we're having in there.

Shanna

Our show is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thanks for listening, everyone. Have a big, fat, positive week. Bye. Bye.

A Christmas Eve Change of Plans – Ep. 343

January 27, 2025

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Show Notes:

This episode's sponsors:

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Episode Transcript

A Christmas Eve Change of Plans – Ep. 343

January 27, 2025

Listen Now:

Show Notes:

This episode's sponsors:

Whisker Litter-Robot

Once Upon a Dance

Tags

Episode Transcript