Grieving a Pet While Celebrating a Birthday – Ep. 341

Laura

Hey everyone, I just wanted to jump in before we started this episode to mention that we recorded this episode well before the big fires that have been raging in the LA area over the past week. Shanna and I and our families in our homes are all safe and we want to thank you all for your messages checking in on us. We did record a bonus episode talking about the fires and interviewing Gia Gambaro-Blunt about what parents can do during this time and how to talk to their kids during this crisis. You'll see that just before this episode in your feed. We've also set up a webpage, bigfatpositivepodcast.com slash fire, where you can find ways to give help or receive help if you need it. We hope all of our BFP listeners are staying safe and we love you all. Let's get on with the show.

Shanna

Hi, welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. On this week's episode, we have our weekly check-ins, we have our special segment, Loose Ends, where we tie up some unfinished topics from previous episodes, including one of the biggest cliff hangers in BFP history, and we wrap it up with our Big Fat positives and Big Fat negatives of the week. Let's get started. Hello, everyone. Welcome to episode 341. What's up, Laura? What's up?

Laura

I think we use it commensurate with our age. You know what I mean? We didn't have TikTok growing up. We didn't have social media. We had the what's up commercial.

Shanna

That's right. That's right, which honestly, I don't even really remember. It's just a little soundbite that lives in my brain.

Laura

There's some marketing executive who that's what they've lived on the rest of their lives. They're like, I created the waza guy. It was a frog? I don't even remember.

Shanna

Oh, okay. It's coming back to me now. I'll look it up later. I'll look it up later. Oh my gosh. All right. So for now, I want to know what's been going on with you all this week.

Laura

So what I want to check in about is this phase that Sebastian has been in for a little while now, but I don't think I've talked about it too much on the show or really dedicated the time to talk about it, which is the incessant questions phase. Oh, right. I forgot about that phase. I don't I don't know if every kid goes through it or if it's as intense as Sebastian's endless question phase, but we've been in it for a little bit now. At least, I want to say like four to six months, and it's hilarious and also a bit exasperating, so I wanted to talk about it.

Shanna

Okay. I know you talked about him asking a lot of questions about, is it like a movie, a certain movie he wanted to know a lot about?

Laura

Actually, Shanna, here, let me give you a little voice memo so you can refresh your memory on this one. Oh, OK. And I was recording this on my Apple Watch as I was getting him out of the car to go pick up Augie at his school. And Augie's school is on a very busy street. So it's maybe not the clearest thing, but maybe you can make it out. OK.

Shanna

I think I'm the ghostbuster frozen empire with good movie. Okay, so you are in the middle of getting him out of the car. There's traffic and all this stuff going on and he needs to know if Ghostbusters the Frozen Empire is a good movie.

Laura

Indeed, he needs to know if Ghostbusters Frozen Empire is a good movie. And I have to be honest and I have to say no, I don't think it really was. And he's like, why? And I have to explain pacing and directorial choices.

Shanna

Oh, does he ask certain questions repetitively?

Laura

He does. He asks not one right after another, but like subsequent days or subsequent, you know, encounters, like in the morning he'll ask and then in the evening he'll ask. And it's interesting. I don't know if any child development experts are listening and be like, oh my gosh, red flags, because I'm just like, okay, he's asking the same questions over and over and over. I don't know if that's something that your girls did. Like, I don't remember Augie doing this.

Shanna

Even still, I feel like CECE will do this sometimes. just yesterday she asked me like why it was important to brush her hair in the morning and it's like I explain if you don't brush your hair in the morning gets tangled you have long hair and then it makes it worse at night and yada yada and then she just asked me that like a couple more times it's like I know you heard the answer so I'm not sure if you just want to hear me say it again I'm not I don't know I don't know what that's about

Laura

Yeah, it's interesting. So I am noticing looking at this list that the two categories of questions he tends to ask, they're not like, why is the sky blue? Which is a question, right? A good valid question that requires scientific explanation. But they're more like storytelling questions where he's asking about his past or my past or their questions about movies. Like pretty exclusively those are the two categories. Let me give you some of these. So he says, when I was a baby, how I crawl, how I walk, how I eat. When I was a baby, you killing me around a lot. When I was a baby, I squished you. When I was a baby, how loud were my thoughts? How loud are my poops?

Shanna

Wow.

Laura

And it's so triggering. And it all started because of my dad dying, right? So like, he would see pictures of my dad and he'd go, who dad? I said, that's that's Papa Adam. He'd go, Papa Adam dead. I'm like, yes, he's dead. But now he asks it about literally everyone. And Corey and I have to be like, you need to stop asking that because it's triggering. Like, just this morning, I said something about, oh, your Auntie Jen, blah, blah, blah, like something that we were going to do together. And he's like, who dad? And I was like, it's so-and-so's mom. And he said, oh yeah, she dead? Like, no, you just saw her. Like, she was over last week. Like, no, she's not dead.

Shanna

And I like the idea that he thinks like you would just go visit someone who's dad. I mean, the logic is funny.

Laura

It just goes to show he really doesn't understand what death is really because he keeps saying like how she got dead. Like he'll ask my dad how he got dead when he when he go and be alive again and I'm like never like the first couple times he asked those questions I was like excuse me I need to go cry. But now I'm just like, he's dead, he's dead forever. It happened because he got old and sick. Like, can we move on, please? But yeah, so he did, he did. Everyone's a he, by the way. He misgenders more than 50% of people, and that's fine. But so he then will also ask about movies. Movie C has not seen and movies he's seen, but mostly movies he hasn't seen because he's fascinated by a bunch of movies he's not allowed to see, but he's seen posters of or trailers of and he's listened to the soundtracks of. And so lately we've been listening to a lot of the Beetlejuice soundtrack.

Shanna

Right. Right. Oh, my gosh. I love his curiosity. That is so cute.

Laura

It's very cute, except for when it's 9 p.m. and Augie's already fallen asleep and he's just sitting there going, Mama, what happens in the shining? What happens in the middle? What happens at the beginning? So the worst example of this, the biggest mistake I've made is admitting to him that there is a movie called Killer Clowns from Outer Space. Oh, okay. Do you remember that movie? I know of it. I don't think I've seen it. For some reason, when I was a young teenager, I want to say like 12, 13, you know, tween era, it was on HBO, like every day, I feel like. And we had HBO, which was very intriguing for my friends. So we would always be sitting around watching HBO and it would be Killer Clowns for Matter Space. And that's all I told him. I told him it's just called killer clowns from outer space.

Shanna

Oh, that is so hilarious. And that really makes a lot of hard work for you because not only do you feel like you have to answer the questions, but you're also kind of like sanitizing and censoring your answers like you have to be creative. It's like that's a lot of work.

Laura

Yeah. And it doesn't work to do your trick, which is, well, why do you think? Because there's no like, what happens in the middle of kilokwounds from out of space? Like, I could be like, what do you think happens? I don't know. I mean, I guess I could try. Yeah. But I don't think he's going to fall for that. So, yeah. Yeah. That is the situation here.

Shanna

Well, it sounds adorable, but also exhausting, so I feel for you. Thank you, thank you.

Laura

But that was my check-in for this week. Shanna, how about you? It's your turn. Well... This was a week.

Shanna

This was a week. Really, really rollercoastery. Last week's check-in was also rollercoastery because I had CECE's sixth birthday party at our house and our dog Sasha got sick and ended up in the pet hospital. If you remember, that's where I left off. So I guess this check-in is a continuation of that story.

Laura

Yes, poor little Sasha was in the hospital while you were trying to celebrate Cici's birthday just so hard.

Shanna

Yeah, so hard. So this week was Cici's actual birthday. So, you know, we had the party a couple of days ago, but we were still like looking forward to her actual day and trying to be celebratory about that. The day before. Her birthday Steven I got a call from the vet saying that they did a ton of testing on Sasha and that we should probably come down to the hospital and visit her and that's what we did the girls were in school that day and we talked to the vet and the vet said that. all indications pointed to Sasha having a brain tumor that was causing her seizures. And more or less, we could do more serious interventions like send her to a neurologist, like, you know, do an MRI. But, you know, once we saw Sasha, she was not in a good place. So we kind of I had to make the decision on the spot to let her go. So that is what we did.

Laura

Well, how did you handle telling the girls? Because you didn't expect to have to go in and do this. And then basically what they come home from school and find it out or what did you do?

Shanna

So we picked them up from school and we forgot that we had a passport appointment for the girls that afternoon across town at like four. So we basically drove straight there and we're not telling them in the car on the drive. We didn't want to deliver the news to them in the car before this appointment. So we go and we do that by the time we get home. there was a long stretch where me and Steve knew something that they didn't know and it was weird. It was really weird. But we got home finally and almost immediately I was like, girls, please come here. We have something to tell you. And we called him over to the couch and immediately Elle was like, it's about Sasha. And I was like, yeah. And she said, is she dead? And I was like, yes. And we talked about what happened and we let her go and described everything.

Laura

Just to go back a little bit, I fully support your decision to delay telling them. I feel like, I mean, this sounds really harsh, but like Sasha was still gonna be dead an hour later. You know what I mean? Like at least get your tasks done and that's 100% the same decision I think I would have made. But yeah, so you tell them. And I feel like Elle obviously intuited that something was going on and she probably remembers really well, Chilly.

Shanna

dying to write so i'm so curious what their reactions were like they were so interesting cece i could tell was really in birthday mode her brain was really still excited about her birthday so i think maybe that is why she was just like Oh, well, I'm really glad it wasn't Coco and Jasmine. Like her immediate response was like, I'm glad I didn't lose the cat. And Al, it was really interesting. She got kind of like, you know, when you don't want to be emotionally vulnerable, you're kind of like, whatever, kind of, you know, like, I don't want to show that I'm upset by this. And she said something to the effect of, hmm. All right. Well, I'm not feeling it. And yeah. And that stings. Both of those reactions sting a bit as a parent, right? Because it's like, come on. I know you guys love Sasha and this has been huge for me. But Steve and I chose to just let it be.

Laura

Well, yeah. And the fact that you, I'm sure, were very sad too, right?

Shanna

Yes, yes, yes, of course. It was, yes, I was very sad. And then that night was tough. Elle was so sad that she couldn't sleep. She stayed up to like 2 a.m. sobbing. We let her stay home from school the next day. And I sent Cece off to school with her goodie bags for her birthday. And she, you know, was still in birthday mode. Like she didn't even register, I think, that Sasha had died because she was so excited about her birthday and everything. So.

Laura

Yeah. Okay. So, but once you were through with her birthday, did it ever sink in?

Shanna

Yeah. I think it did. And sometimes these things show up in ways that you don't expect. Like she never broke down crying in the way that Elle did. But at the end of the day, after the birthday hubbub was over, she was sitting quietly on the couch at a certain point. And I came up and was like, Hey, how are you doing? And she was like, I'm a little sad. And I was like, Oh, yeah, I know it's hard. And then she said, the okay dance was wrong. And I was like, what? And she said, the okay dance was wrong. And I had no clue what she meant by that. I thought it was maybe some dance that they did at school for her birthday. And she was like thinking about that. I didn't even know. And so I asked, what do you mean by that? And she said, when Sasha was sick, Elle and I did a dance. And we called it the okay dance because when we danced, we sung that Sasha would be okay by...

Laura

Oh my gosh, you're gonna make me cry, Sean. Oh my gosh, that's the sweetest thing ever. And I just like, oh man.

Shanna

Yeah, it was, it's such a coming of age moment I think. Yeah. When you realize that those types of hopes or wishful thinking or positive affirmations that you tell yourself don't always come true. And it immediately reminded me of when I was a kid. I was like seven and my grandmother was sick. I knew she had cancer, but I didn't really know what that meant. And like I was outside and I saw a shooting star. And I like wished on the star and I was like, I wish that Grammy would, you know, live or not die or something to that effect. And then, you know, she died a few days later because that was inevitable. That was going to happen. But I remember being so angry and upset and confused, like why didn't my wish come true about that? And I never told anybody about it or talked it through with anybody or anything, but it's like stuck with me.

Laura

Yeah. Oh my gosh. Poor sweetie. The OK dance wasn't good. Yeah.

Shanna

The OK dance was wrong.

Laura

So hearing that story just made me tear up a little. How did you respond in the moment? Because I probably would be a mess if I heard that coming from my child.

Shanna

I was definitely emotional and I felt sad for her and I explained that it's totally normal and okay for us as people to be hopeful and to have like wishes that we hope things will turn out great and okay, but that sometimes they don't, even when we wish for those things, sometimes life just turns out differently. Like I just tried to explain the honesty of it to her. I don't know if she could hold both of those truths at the same time because she is only six but that day I should mention six that day yes yes fresh faced six year old and yeah then I probably like stepped away and tears probably streamed down my face for like the 40th time that day So, yeah.

Laura

Oh, man. Well, I'm so sorry. Sasha was such a sweet doggo and I'm so sad I didn't get to see her one more time, too. She was just the sweetest little pup. And I knew her from the day you guys got her, basically. I feel like I saw her at least the first week you got her. And yeah, she was special.

Shanna

Yeah, she was. So I did not expect to end this year losing my pet. So this just has been one more thing to throw on the pile of like, what is going on this year?

Laura

Yeah, and in a weird way you have practice at it now, you know, you've already gone through the loss of chili, which though obviously awful that you've lost two dogs in pretty quick succession. Like, was it about a year or so that chili died? I can't remember exactly. I think it was like two years ago. Okay. It's just time flies. But still, I mean, you've had to say goodbye to two dogs in a relatively short period of time. But the one upside is that you remember what it felt like and maybe you also remember how to cope with it a little bit.

Shanna

Yes, having gone through the process before was really helpful. Really helpful because being blindsided completely by this kind of thing and letting a pet go, I think in the way that this happened, like if this had been my first time, I think I would have been wrecked to the core.

Laura

And you know, I do think that that episode where you talk about when Chili died and how you told your girls and all that stuff is one of our more linked episodes because people are always asking like, what am I going to do? My dog is dying or my cat is dying and like, how am I going to tell my young kids? So I think that you talking about it's really helpful.

Shanna

Oh, yeah, I hope so because it's definitely something that a lot of us go through. You know, we love our little pets very, very much. They're part of our family. They don't live forever.

Laura

It's true, it's the worst part about having a pet. Except for Coco and Jasmine, they will live forever.

Shanna

Let's hope so. If CECE has anything to do with it, they will. They will.

Laura

I mean, that is the good thing about cats versus dogs. You know, they really do have a much longer average lifespan. Or you could just go ahead and get a cockatiel like my mom. My mom has a 29-year-old cockatiel.

Shanna

That's right. That's right. Or we could get a giant tortoise. I mean, there are options. Oh, my gosh. Alrighty, well that was my week and I think it's time for us to move on to our special segment.

Laura

Okie dokie.

Shanna

All right, Laura, I'm gonna ask you a question first. In episode 323, you told us that you found an amazing new product, which is your Hoka shoes that were helping with your plantar fasciitis. How is it going? Are you still liking those shoes? Are they still helping you? What's the sitch?

Laura

Yes. So as a reminder, they were the Hoka aura threes. They're called recovery slides. They're basically big, I don't know, foam or plastic. I don't remember the exact type, but you know that like kind of squishy, foamy, plastic-y things like crocs, but squishier. Yeah. And I made them my indoor shoes and I was very excited by them because my feet were hurting a lot and I had all these plantar fasciitis symptoms that were bugging me. Shanna, those symptoms are gone. My feet feel so good. I'm obsessed with these shoes. I want to give it another pair because sometimes I'll be like upstairs, you know, first thing in the morning and I realized I left them downstairs by the couch and I'm like, but my feet.

Shanna

A pair for every room.

Laura

A pair for every room. I haven't gone that far yet, but I would instantly buy another pair if these got destroyed or lost or something because I rely on them. I hate walking barefoot at home anymore. And I know there's a lot of people who are like barefoot enthusiasts, but I'm on hardwood all day. And this is like hardwood, like it's old hardwood from like the 1900s, you know, like this that it doesn't have any gift. So anyway, I have been completely amazed. I didn't really notice right away. I just like them because they're like comfy and squishy and, you know, I can wear socks since it's cold out and not slip all around my hardwood floor. So that's another nice thing. I don't look stylish with the socks and the slides together, but who cares? I'm working from home. All my Zoom meetings are waist up. The paparazzi is not outside your window. Apparently not.

Shanna

Awesome. That's such a success story. And I hope that listeners who might have that condition can learn from what you have shared with us.

Laura

I hope so. I mean, I'm not a doctor. I learned this on TikTok, but I learned it from podiatrists on TikTok. So, you know.

Shanna

Hey, I didn't know there was a podiatry TikTok.

Laura

Oh, yeah, podiatry talk is where it's at.

Shanna

right on.

Laura

It's where the cool kids hang out, right?

Shanna

I think so. I'll have to bounce on over there from the dermatology talk that I frequent.

Laura

Oh yeah, I'm on that one too. We're so cool. So cool. Okay, Shanna, I have a question for you though. Okay. Okay, in episode 336, in your Dear Past Me segment, you were telling yourself to like stop it with buying the big ticket outdoor toys like the ride on roller coaster thing and I'm trying to remember the other examples you had but basically you were like stop doing it they play with it like five times and then it collects dust and then you don't know how to get rid of it and it's just bulky and takes up space so my question is. Have you stuck to your own advice.

Shanna

Laura, I have not stuck to that advice, of course, because I never learn.

Laura

Wow. OK. So this is what you've been clearing out your backyard for?

Shanna

Oh, it's so sad, Laura. When I came out that sandbox and I had so much open space and took down that gate, I was like, oh, an open yard. What a dream. A trampoline was not on my radar. No, ma'am. No, ma'am. But here I am. I'm going to just clutter it right back up again.

Laura

Is it the kind with the nets around it?

Shanna

Yes. Yes. It's got the net around it and all that jazz. But I don't know. I hope they like it. I hope they think it's fun. It's probably more fun than that like little up and down roller coaster plastic thing. I don't know.

Laura

Yeah. I was so jealous of everyone with the trampoline when I was growing up. Same.

Shanna

Same. Yeah. I just want to give my kids the childhood I didn't have.

Laura

heal your own inner child, get them the trampoline. Who needs a raised bad garden?

Shanna

Not me, apparently.

Laura

Yeah, you know, it's so interesting because he and Theo have this almost like chemical reaction when they see each other. You know, when you talk about people who have chemistry, right? They just really respond to each other in a way that they don't to other people. You can just see them light up when they see each other. That's Augie and Theo. Like they are. It's just fascinating to watch. Recently we met up with them at the Americana and we were walking up and Theo was already there and like the look on their faces was just like it's just like their eyes widen and they just were grinning ear to ear. And it's just like, wow, they really love each other. You know what I mean? Like, you know, I don't want to say that the only words to describe is like they're attracted to each other.

Shanna

Yeah, it's great to have the opportunity to branch out and make new friends, even if you're thrust into that position because you really can. Like you really, really love somebody, but then you can also grow reliant on that friendship and stuff and not grow socially how you might otherwise. So yeah, that sounds like it's a it's a good opportunity.

Laura

Yes, I agree. So all in all, so good. And obviously we still see him every once in a while. So it's not like they've moved to another country or something.

Shanna

Yeah, for sure.

Laura

Okay, next question for you, Shanna. In episode 334 in the What I Googled This Week segment, you had Googled, hurt my butt on waterslide or something like that.

Shanna

Oh my gosh. What a silly accident. I swear the things that you get yourself into when you're a parent of young kids. Thank goodness. The tailbone slash butt pain cleared up. I am feeling better. But I have to admit that I have since injured myself in another ridiculous way.

Laura

Okay. What now?

Shanna

I injured my knee making a piñata.

Laura

Oh, this most recent beautiful piñata for Cici's birthday?

Shanna

Yes. My kitchen table is so cluttered with other crap that the only clear space to make this thing was on the floor. And I forget that I'm not a young spry chicken anymore that can just do things on the floor easily. I don't know, I guess being on the floor and then getting up and down, somehow I like twisted my knee and I'm still in pain from that. I'm like, I hurt my knee making a piñata. That is very cool, Shanna, very, very cool.

Laura

I feel like when it comes to piñata injuries, you would think it would be getting whacked with the baseball bat or something, but no.

Shanna

Yeah, no, much less exciting, much less exciting. But another interesting thing about the butt slide injury is that when I was at your house for Thanksgiving, I was talking to your mother-in-law, Sherry, and she surprised me by being like, oh, when I listened to that episode, it reminded me that I broke my tailbone on a water slide when Corey was young. And I was like, what? What? This is a thing? So yeah.

Laura

Yeah, she told me that story too. And I was just like, oh, my gosh, I guess Shanna got off easy because she straight up broke her tailbone. I know. At Clovis Lakes, which I think back then it was called Clovis Lakes. Now it's called Wild Water Adventures. Actually, I don't know what it's called now. Fresno people chime in in the comments. But it was the water park just outside of Fresno. And she reminded me that she was going down the slide with this little like basically a yoga mat. Do you ever remember going down waterslides with those things? Yes.

Shanna

That's how we used to do it as kids. Waterworld is the one we always went to in Phoenix. That's right.

Laura

Yeah. And she said she broke her tailbone and that her doctor said there's basically nothing you can do about it. You just have to let it heal. And she said it was excruciating.

Shanna

Ouch. So, yes, parents let this be a lesson to you.

Laura

Watch your butts. I'm worried because I don't think it will be a lesson to me because I don't know how you don't go down waterslides with your kids, you know? I guess self-restraint, maybe? I don't know.

Shanna

No, yeah, you just do it.

Laura

Yeah, you just do it. Well, thankfully, I've been working on my butt padding, so maybe that'll help me out.

Shanna

You know, as kids, we also sometimes used to go down them on inner tubes. That was much better too.

Laura

Yes, or the double inner tubes, those were so fun.

Shanna

So fun. I'm making me want to go to a water park. in the middle of the winter.

Laura

Honestly, it's been great, Shanna. It's been surprisingly easy to enforce. I know I've talked about a little bit here and there, like I talked about how avocado was left behind at CeCe's birthday party. And part of the reason we think that Augie was so sad about it was because it's the first toy he's gotten in months. But it's just kind of been a joy. And I'm starting to think that we need to implement this basically year round like have designated points where toys are given and everything else is just like nope because I've just noticed fewer meltdowns around toys they're not expecting to get things when we go into the store like I can go into target with them and they know that we just aren't getting a toy because it's not Christmas and There'll be a little bit of whining, you know, like they test it out, but it's not like a huge meltdown.

Shanna

Well, what about getting your mom on board with that? Because I know that she loves to buy them toys.

Laura

She does, but she's actually been OK with it. because she's seen the meltdowns and she's more upset about seeing them have meltdowns than she is about like getting them toys. You know what I mean? Like I think she saw the light that last time when she went and got them new toys at Marshall's and they had picked them out and then the night ended in sobbing because they didn't, you know, they didn't get the same thing and blah blah blah and she was like, Okay, I think I understand where you're coming from, that this is not good. So I think she's on board with it. Okay, Shanna, there's one more for you. And this is a true loose end. While I was going through my notes for this, I was like, this can't be true. It can't be true that we left this story dangling.

Shanna

Yeah, class representative, yes.

Laura

Yes. And all the campaign material she had to create and all that stuff. And it was very adorable. And then at the end of the episode, you left it on a cliffhanger. You said that you don't have the results yet because the teacher was tallying them up over the weekend. And you said, I will check in next week to tell you who won. And somehow you did not do that. And we both of us were like, I'm insisting you didn't do it because I don't actually know. I don't know if she won or not. And you're like, no, I must have said, I must have talked about it. We just had to go back and listen because you were like, there's no way I left this hanging. You did. This is the loose end to end all loose ends.

Shanna

Wow, it's so funny. I literally was like, I will update you next week. And I never did that. So apologies. Here's the update. L did not win.

Laura

Did she find out? Like, did they tell how many votes or was it just a yes or no situation? Was there an election night like board where they were saying like over with the cool kids, they seem to be leaning L. But down here with the nerds, you know, they're going with candidate B.

Shanna

Yeah, election watch 2024. No, no, no. I think the teacher just announced who it was. And so, you know, when she came home from school, I asked her about what happened. And if she won and she said, no, I didn't win. And she didn't seem terribly upset about it. Like she seemed to really accept it. And I said, oh, who did win? And she said, oh, my friend Sophia. And I'm like, that's great, good for her. She's like, yeah, I voted for her. And I was like, OK, that's great, honey. So yeah, she didn't win. But I'm still so proud of her for giving it a real go. And with all those materials she had to put together, I was like, wow, good job, honey.

Laura

And she was a good sport about it, so. Wait, can you remind me how many kids are in her class about, do you know? 26. 26, and how many kids were running? Six.

Shanna

Yeah, we'll let Auntie Laura be the one to break that to her, because I did not mention that.

Laura

Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no, no. That is not something you actually tell her. It was great spirit to vote for a friend and not for yourself. Just not the best political move. You know, maybe she's not cut out for politics.

Shanna

I don't think she is. She's a real softy.

Laura

But that's okay. Maybe it's a good thing that she's not cut out for politics. Yeah. Oh, well, what a great experience though. And now, you know, I think that there have been people who've been waiting like three months to find this one out.

Shanna

That's how I get you guys to listen to the podcast, string me along. You're like, ooh, Shanna might tell us the results of the election today. Isn't it this episode?

Laura

Yes, we should.

Shanna

We're back and we wrap up our episodes with our Big Fat positives or Big Fat negatives of the week. Laura, you're up first. What'd you got for us? I have a BFP.

Laura

All right. So this BFP is a little bit of a story. And while it's not directly related to my family, it is like family and parenting related. So I wanted to share. So I talked about in the last episode how I went to get my very first mammogram. And I actually found street parking for my mammogram, which I was very proud of. I was very excited that I didn't have to pay the hospital like structure parking fee. So I was like briskly walking into my mammogram. And I noticed on the side of the road, a bunch of like loose plastic sheets that are from like a photo album with a bunch of photos in them just like discarded on the side of the road, like in a little flower bed type thing. And I didn't want to be late for my appointment, so I glanced at it and I was like, that's weird. But I had to get to my appointment, so I just walked by.

Shanna

Where is this, by the way, just so I could visualize? Are we talking like UCLA Hospital, Cedars?

Laura

So this is on Fair Oaks Avenue in Pasadena. So a pretty busy street. There's a lot of medical buildings and stuff. Like there's the Shriners Children's Hospital. There's Huntington Hospital. There's like all these medical buildings. It's basically a big stretch of medical buildings, right? So this actually was right outside of the Shriners Hospital, the Children's Hospital. And I noticed it because it was very out of place and a strange thing to see. But I had to get to my appointment, so I just walked on by. So after they had smushed the crap out of my boobs and discovered that they were too dense anyway, I walked back and on my way back I looked and noticed that those were still there. And I also noticed that a sprinkler was on and getting them all wet.

Shanna

No.

Laura

And I took a couple of steps past them because I'm like, you know what, this isn't my problem. I didn't dump these there. I don't know what the story is, but this is not my issue. But then this little voice in the back of my head was like, those are someone's family photos. I don't know why they're sitting on the side of the road, but to someone, they may still be meaningful. From what I could see, there were baby pictures. Like, you know, they were all scattered about. Actually, I took a picture of what they looked like because it was so odd. So here, let me send you a picture so you can see what I saw. Oh, interesting.

Shanna

Okay. Yeah. And these aren't necessarily like new pictures that would be living in a cloud somewhere. They look, you know, maybe, I don't know, 20 years old or something.

Laura

Yeah, they actually are. So just right on top, you can see a bunch of baby pictures and birthday parties of like little kids. And I was like, these are pictures that people definitely do not have copies of, you know, it's like very early digital era. And when I look closer, many of the dates were from the early 2000s, like 2003, I saw one, 2001, I saw another. So I knew they were old and that these kids in the pictures were grown up by now. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So I walked past these photos and I was like, this is not my problem. I shouldn't pick them up. I have too much to do in my life. Like the holidays are coming up. What are you doing? You're busy. But I just could not leave these baby pictures to get ruined on the side of the road. Yeah. So I like screeched to a halt and backed up. I'm walking. So there was no actual screeching. It was just in my mind. And I went and I gathered them up.

Shanna

Right. It's not like a honeymooners trip to Cancun or something.

Laura

Exactly. And they were found outside of the Shriners Children's Hospital. So I'm like worried that, you know, something sad might have happened. So I'm like, I'm not going to blast this on the internet for everyone. But I did want to find them. So I started taking the photos out of the sleeves and doing a little detective work. And eventually I figured out the names of the kids in the photos. What? It was very fun. It also was not that hard. because they had a bunch of envelopes saved in it. People had sent them wedding announcements and stuff, and it had the names of the parents on the envelope, right, and their address. Oh, there were envelopes in there too? Yeah, it was like postcards. They're postcards. So it's like, I found out the names of the parents almost right away. I googled them, saw their divorce papers online. So I was like, okay, that might explain some of it.

Shanna

Yeah.

Laura

And I actually, I thought I found his sister on Instagram, never heard back from her. And I thought I found his mom on LinkedIn, never heard back from her. But this guy who's now in his 20s and in college wrote me back. And he was rightfully skeptical. Like he wrote back, he was like, can I see these pictures? And I was like, yes, absolutely. Really hoping he like Googled my name and saw that I'm just like some random mom, a podcaster who has no reason to like me scamming him but after going back and forth a little bit he was like oh yeah those are my family photos I'd love to have them back and he's still he lives in Pasadena so he's like I can come get them and I was like great left them on my porch never actually interacted with him other than this email and he came and picked them up.

Shanna

Wow.

Laura

But I felt really good about doing this because I'm like, okay, other than telling the story on the podcast, I'm getting like no benefit out of this. You know, I'm not like trying to go viral with it. I'm not trying to like do anything with this. Fine. I'm just trying to like help this family out.

Shanna

Yeah.

Laura

So yeah, I feel good. I feel like I did a good deed this week.

Shanna

Yeah, you should. That is a very good deed. Very selfless. I'm dying to know if you got the story behind why these pictures were on the side of the road.

Laura

I didn't really. I kind of got a tiny glimpse. He said that there's some family drama right now, and that might be why they were on the side of the road. My other guess, which is kind of in line with what I had been thinking, like maybe there was something going on and they were dumped in spite or in sadness or something. My only other guess was that there was a thrift shop nearby and that maybe someone had bought like a photo album and just got rid of all the stuff inside. Oh, true. But I have to say I'm proud of myself for not prying more. I'm a nosy ass bitch, but I said nothing. I didn't say like, oh, yeah, tell me more about your family drama.

Shanna

Good job, Laura. Thank you. Well, I'm glad you reunited him with his family photos. That's really sweet.

Laura

Yeah, I just could not let all these childhood memories just be dumped on the side of the road. So, so yeah, that is my BFP. Shanna, do you have a BFP or BFN on this kind of sad week you had? Well, up and down week, because it was CeCe's birthday. So BFP or BFN.

Shanna

Yeah, despite the sadness of the week, I do have a BFP. Yay. As I mentioned, life just rolls on, especially when you have kids. And that's what I did this weekend because Ellen Cici had their holiday concert for their little Kinder choir that they're in. Oh, fun, yeah. Yeah, it was really, really cute. It was held at this cute little black box theater nearby. And the dress code was like festive, sparkles, colorful. And my girls, of course, embraced that fully. And we're very excited to get dressed up and go do their concert and their little solos, which they had been working on. And I wanted to share some audio, so I'm gonna send you a video of their little solos, and you can also glance at their fashion choices.

Laura

Okay, this is adorable. They all have great mic skills, like what's technique, mic technique.

Shanna

Thank you. And yeah, I was really surprised to see them passing around a mic because they never practice mic technique. I was like, oh no, these kids are not going to handle the microphone very well, but they all did really well. I was proud of them.

Laura

Yeah, they knew their cues, like they were ready for it, you know.

Shanna

Oh yeah, yeah, definitely. So it was really fun and sweet to see their concert and then the other choir performed and we did a holiday sing-along and it was very festive. And then grandma took us all to Chuck E. Cheese afterward as another birthday celebration for CeCe and we just tried our best to make a fun festive day of it.

Laura

I mean, you got to be dressed up for Chuck E. Cheese, of course.

Shanna

Of course. We were definitely the fanciest, most festive people there.

Laura

It reminds me of when I went to the desert to finish writing my book with Gia. I hid up in and out on the way home because I was starving. And there was a whole quinceanera party. in the in and out, including the quinceanera girl, like the birthday girl in a gigantic dress. And I was so freaked out for all of them. I was like, you kids are trying to eat animal style fries in your fancy gear. Like. The birthday girl had this gigantic poofy dress and she was trying to wedge it into one of those in and out seats that are like bolted to the table. It was adorable. And so out of context, you know, but good for them.

Shanna

I love that. You haven't lived unless you have chowed down an animal style burger in a big, floofy, fancy dress. I mean, that's awesome. Good for them.

Laura

Hashtag life goals. Well, they are so cute, and I'm so glad that you got to have this bright spot in your week.

Shanna

Yeah, for sure. But yeah, that's it for me, and I believe it's it for our show. Listeners, if you would like to support our show, please do us a favor, head on over to Apple Podcasts or Spotify or wherever you listen. Leave us a five star review, say a few things you love about the show, and we might read your review on an upcoming episode and share our show with your friends. If you have any questions or comments or feedback on this week's episode or anything else, hit us up. We love hearing from you. Laura, where can everyone find us?

Laura

And finally, if you want to join the coolest group of people on the internet, just search Facebook for Big Fat Positive Community. It is a private group, so you got a request to join and answer those two membership questions so we know you're not a robot. Once you do that, you'll be sent straight through to all the amazing, supportive, wonderful conversations we're having in there.

Shanna

Our show is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thanks for listening, everyone. Have a Big Fat Positive week. Bye. Bye.