Helping Your Child Relax After a Bad Dream – Ep. 326

Laura

Welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. This week, we have our weekly check-ins. We have our special segment, What the Hack, where we share tips on encouraging independent play and helping kids with bad dreams. And we close with our BFPs and BFNs for the week. Let's get started. Hello, everyone. Welcome to episode 326. Hi, Shanna. Hi. Hello, hello. Shall we get right to it and talk about what's been going on with our kids and ourselves this week?

Shanna

Absolutely, because the big news in our house is that Steve came home with another new member of the Yager family.

Laura

Did you get a third cat? Because this is getting a little out of control, Shanna.

Shanna

Let me send you a picture. Okay.

Laura

Not that I have any problem with three cats. I just know that, you know, you have a lot on your hands these days. So I do. I do. Okay. I just sent you a photo. Oh, this is the cutest thing I've ever seen. It's the cutest hunk of metal I've ever seen in my entire life.

Shanna

I didn't say it was an animate object.

Laura

Yes, okay, so I see a picture of your two girls looking at a Smith Corona typewriter from, gosh, I could not place what era this is from, 60s, 70s?

Shanna

Smells like it's from the 60s or 70s. It definitely has that old timey musk about it.

Laura

You mean like it's been sitting in a room full of smokers for 30 years, that kind of thing?

Shanna

Yes, very possibly. So I don't know where the fascination with typewriters came up, but Steve decided he really wanted to get the girls a typewriter. And so he found one on Facebook Marketplace and for like $35. He's like, girls, I found a typewriter. It's $35. I'm going to run out and get it. And Elle's eyes lit up. Her jaw dropped and she was like, 35. Dollars? Mama, did you hear that? $35 for a device, for a literal device.

Laura

I was like, wow, okay, cool. Well, Shanna, did you have a typewriter growing up? Because I feel like you must have just been a kid, like on the tail end of when typewriters were in sort of daily use. Not to out us as old people.

Shanna

I think we had a typewriter. We definitely did get a computer at some point. I remember in my youth, maybe elementary school. But what I really remember about typewriters is that my mom used them in her office at work. She was like an office manager. And when I would go into work with her my god I loved typing on that thing loved it in the click clack and oh my gosh the spinning the paper it's such a visceral experience to create words on a typewriter it is a really different experience than typing on a keyboard.

Laura

I feel like there's this big resurgence of people who want at least some kind of feeling back, people who really want that tactile experience because I keep getting these Instagram and TikTok ads for these keyboards that I think are technically called like mechanical keyboards, but they call them like, I can't remember what they call them like chewy keyboards. Is there something? Have you seen these?

Shanna

No, I'm very curious now.

Laura

Actually, I think the word they use is creamy, which is not a phrase I would use to describe the clickety-clack, you know? No, not at all. But yeah, people really, I think, miss that about typing. So I definitely can see why your girls would be super excited about it. My memory of typewriters, though, is that they never worked. Like they were always broken. And like anytime you tried to type a certain letter, it would get like caught up in the other hammer actions. And I just like this thing doesn't work.

Shanna

Yes, they're gluttons for punishment, truly. Yes. The jams and the this and the that and the whatever. So Steve Heads Out comes back with a typewriter in a case emanating the odors of a different era.

Laura

It's very meta.

Shanna

Yes. Okay. I have one here. It's a three-parter.

Laura

Okay.

Shanna

Okay. You might hear the rumbling of paper because this is actually something I'm reading off of paper. All right. Here is Elle's story. Qwerty, exclamation point, question marks, lots of capital letters. This is a Qwerty keyboard. I love Qwerty keyboard. Do you love Qwerty keyboard? Do you? By Elle. Like that's her first. thing she ever wrote on a typewriter. But then, Laura, there's the part two. Okay, here we go.

Laura

I should mention for our international listeners that American keyboards, the top row starts with Q-W-E-R-T-Y. So that's where QWERTY comes from.

Shanna

Yes. Oh, good call, Loria. Not all keyboards are the same. Okay, part two, QWERTY. So do you like QWERTY keyboard? You can write your answer here. And she typed out a blank, which someone wrote, yes, I'm assuming that's easy. If you said yes, you are legendary. So thank you so much for answering. Have a good day. I will make part three by L. Bye.

Laura

Oh my gosh.

Shanna

These are the stories I found around the house. I was dying. Okay. Do you want to hear part three?

Laura

Of course I want to hear part three. How can you leave me hanging just with part two? Okay.

Shanna

Part three of Qwerty. Every time she types Qwerty, it's all caps with lots of exclamation points.

Laura

It's still in the script.

Shanna

Oh yes, this is all in script.

Laura

You gotta send me a picture of this when we're done, because I have to see the script.

Shanna

OK, I will. So last time you answered the question, sorry if I spelled it wrong. So back to QWERTY. OK, all of you, you love QWERTY, Avi. So I wanted to say thank you all for voting.

Laura

And the winner is dot dot dot to be continued. Man, we're going to find out the winner after this break.

Shanna

I never found a part four. But what I did find was this page here. I'll send you a picture of this page.

Laura

Okay, you sent me a picture of a crumpled piece of paper and I'm going to zoom in. Okay, we've got QWERTY, QWERTY, QWERTY, QWERTY, QWERTY, QWERTY, QWERTY, QWERTY, T. QWERTY, QWERTY, QWERTY, QWERTY, QWERTY. You got the idea. There's one little dash TY at the end of the line.

Shanna

So great. I love it. I love it so much.

Laura

Yeah, this is a very flowery script. You're right.

Shanna

Yeah. Yeah. It's fancy.

Laura

Can you still buy ribbons or whatever, whatever ink, whatever you use to type with? Does that still exist?

Shanna

That's a good question. And I guess we'll find out if and when this thing kicks the bucket. Someone's got to sell it, right?

Laura

You'd think. But who knows? Anyway, it's very cool. I want to come over and play with it, too.

Shanna

Yeah, yeah, come write some QWERTY stories. But yeah, that's the excitement for our week. And that's about it. How about you, Laura? What's going on in your world?

Laura

Well, this week we've actually been doing a lot of swimming. Believe it or not, Shanna, we were invited to three pool parties over this long weekend. Oh, jealous. I know, I know. I don't know how I've gotten so lucky, but I've acquired a bunch of friends with pools. And so... That's called strategic friend-making, I think. But the problem with that logic is that I made friends with them before they got these houses, right? Like they all lived somewhere else when we were initially friends. And now they've moved to houses with pools, which is just good luck, I think. I mean, having good taste in friends, right? Yes, yes, I think so. They can get houses with pools. But anyway, so we ping-ponged across the San Fernando Valley this weekend to go to as many pools as possible. And it was hot. It was freaking hot. Yeah. So we were like, yes, please. We would love to come.

Shanna

Yeah.

Laura

And he'd gone to the point where he was fairly competent in the pool. But this weekend, we kind of discovered he's lost a lot of those skills. Like he does not want to try swimming. It could be because these pools that we were going to were not heated. And so even though it was hot outside, it was kind of cold. So maybe he didn't want to like, I don't know, exert a lot of effort in these cold pools. Not sure. I understand that. Yeah. But what's interesting is that we've kept Sebastian in his swim lessons. And they've kind of plateaued, I'd say. He goes, he participates, but I've questioned whether he's really learning anything or like what's going on with him. I've been wondering if it's just a big waste of money or if we should take a break. Well, this weekend, the

Shanna

That's great.

Laura

Okay. So I, because he's been saying this, I think he suddenly put it together. He was like, those are like the scuba diver, my hero from the one who takes Nemo away from his family. Um, and he wanted to wear them and Shanna, something just clicked. All of a sudden, he wanted to swim and he asked me, he was like, no, go back, go back, go farther. And so he started like making me stand further and further away from the steps. And he would stand on the steps, put his head down because he's now a scuba diver and just swim straight to me and then go back. And we did this, I don't think I'm exaggerating for a solid hour. Wow. It was so fascinating. Video. Okay, I'm sending you this video. Unfortunately, we can't post it on social because there's other kids in the background, but you can describe it for our listeners.

Shanna

Oh my gosh, look at him go. He really is getting the hang of it. His legs are kicking, his arms are moving. That's not a doggie paddle. That is a swim.

Laura

Yep. And I was so impressed. Like we were all kind of blown away because it happened so quickly. It's one of those things that reminds you of how kids learn. We all think it's gradual, right? We all think like, oh, they slowly pick up their alphabet and then they slowly learn to read. And some kids are like that and some skills are like that. But in my experience, it's like you spend a lot of time worrying that your kid can't do something and then overnight all of a sudden they can do it.

Shanna

Yes, because they've been absorbing that information all along. Same with reading without, right? Is that like, oh, that kid can't read. And then all of a sudden she's like reading pages out of chapter book. I'm like, excuse me, what do they call that? Is that punctuated, punctuated evolution or something like that? Like it's stagnant and then things go poing and like just spring forward with advancement.

Laura

Yeah, I imagine it as a staircase rather than like a straight line, you know.

Shanna

Yeah.

Laura

Yeah.

Shanna

That's exciting.

Laura

It was exciting. I will say I'm skeptical about whether it will translate to swim class because they're not allowed to wear goggles in swim class and they work on different skills. Like he only wanted to do this one thing going back and forth and back and forth. So we'll see. I'll have to check in on that. But for now, you know, I'm celebrating that he's definitely more competent and capable in the pool.

Shanna

Oh, that's so fun. Let's rent a Swimply house and have a big pool party together and swim.

Laura

Yes. You know, the people who we rented from for that birthday party I threw for myself a few years ago. Remember that? Yes. They've been sending me 20% off coupon. So we should just squeeze cash in on that. Let's go. OK. We'll do it. But for now, I think we should move on to our special segment.

Shanna

Oh, I think we should.

Laura

Okay, so my first one is something I learned from my friend Kate, the one I went to the One Day Choir with and all those other things I've checked in with about her. So she was so sweet. Unexpectedly, she brought me a birthday present this year, which is like, I don't know how you are with your adult friends, but like, I don't know, I'm bad at buying my adult friends birthday presents. I rarely do. Sorry, Sean. I think I get you birthday presents every once in a while.

Shanna

Every once in a while, we do. I am bad at even buying my family member's presents, unless it's my kids. I mean, I just can't even think of what to get and it's a mental load thing. But anyway, that's amazing that she did that.

Laura

Yeah, it was very sweet. She just happened to come by like... I think something, we were like having some kind of dinner that was around my birthday. And so she got me this thing. I was just like, you were too sweet. But at first I was confused because she got me a candle, a very lovely rose scented candle. I love rose scent. She was like, oh good, because not everyone does. I was like, no, no, no, I love it. But then she had this device with it. And I was like, okay. And it was a mug warmer. And I was like, thank you for the mug warmer? Like this seemed like a, like, did you get this in a white elephant? Want to pass it on? She was like, no, no, no. So I didn't say that to her, obviously, because she was kind of, she was kind of explaining it off the back. Cause she was like, I know this is weird. But she said that her son, it loves candles, right?

Shanna

Right.

Laura

And I got to tell you, it works so well. I was blown away.

Shanna

Where does the wax go? Does it like melt to liquid?

Laura

Well, I mean, it needs to be like in your, you know, it needs to be the candle that's like contained, right? Like a glass and not a taper. We're not doing a taper here.

Shanna

Okay. I was picturing just like a pillar candle, not a tall one, but you know, like a short wide candle, you know? Yeah. Okay, I get it now. It's in its own container.

Laura

In a container. One of those ones that's in like a glass jar. Yes. Please do not try this with just a wax and nothing else candle. Please.

Shanna

You know why I think I was picturing that? I have a wax warmer. Like it is a device where like a hot light bulb lights up. We're like an Edison type bulb heats a tray above it. And then I put little wax squares in it and that releases the odors. So I know that it like just like melts into liquid and I don't know. I guess I was picturing that. And I do love that thing. But this hack is so cool because you can go buy any candle in any sense. Exactly.

Laura

Exactly. Yes.

Shanna

Yes. I love this.

Laura

So highly recommend it. I found a bunch on Amazon. I can ask Kate for the specific brand she got. And we can add that to our show notes. But there's a bunch on Amazon. They're anywhere from $8 to $20. But it's really great. Obviously, the wax is still hot. So if it spills on a kid, it would be a bad thing. So you don't want to keep this within reach of small kids. But it's still so much safer than an open flame. Ah, brilliant. So that is my first mom hack. Shanna, it's your turn to share one with us.

Shanna

Okay, this one comes straight from CeCe herself, the kitchen whiz. We made corn on the cob the other day and I put it on the plate and I was about to serve it for dinner and she said, wait. And I was like, what? And she opens the drawer and she starts digging in the drawers looking for something. I'm like, what is she doing? And she pulls out a chopstick and I'm like, okay. And she takes the corn and turns it on and jammed the chopstick into the end of the corn cob and held it up. And I was like, oh my God, you made a corn holder. She's like, yep. And I was like, that's brilliant. I used to have corn cob holders when I was like, yeah, like they were specifically made. They look like little ears of corn or whatever. I don't have that kind of thing anymore. But it is nice to have something to hold your corn. And this was her idea. It worked perfectly.

Laura

That's so awesome. You know what I've done in a pinch is I've actually used baby forks. you know, those like little toddler forks that maybe your kids don't use anymore, but you don't know what to use because they're just short, you know, but they stab in and you can hold them that way. I do remember those little corn on the cob holder things, you know, they shaped like a little ear of corn and the little ends were so pokey. What I remember about them is that it's the thing that would always poke me when I'd be trying to find something in a drawer when I was growing up, right? You're rummaging around looking for a serving spoon and you're like, ow. fucking corn on the cob poking me.

Shanna

So dangerous. Did you also have the thing that went with it? It was like a like a husk, a corn husk. It was green and like a little tray and you'd set the corn on the cob in it with those little holders on the end and then like fill it with butter and then like spin your corn on the cob in butter and salt. And that's how I ate corn on the cob as a kid.

Laura

That sounds delicious. No, we didn't have those. My mom probably lost them and was like, I mean, I can't remember ever actually using the corn on the cop holders. They were just there to torture me. Maybe it was my mom's method of keeping me out of the drawers.

Shanna

Yeah, maybe.

Laura

Oh, yeah, butter, like salty butter corn.

Shanna

Okay, I get it. This is super cool. So this mom has a big piece of paper and she writes a bunch of letters in blue marker all over the page and then scribbles over them with a red marker. So you can't really see the letter very easily, but once you put the red magnet out over it, it reveals the blue letter underneath. And this is awesome, and I'm dying to know how you've been using it.

Laura

So my kids didn't want to do letters. They are very resistant to anything that's like direct quote unquote teaching. Augie will teach us. Augie likes to pretend he's the teacher and teach us. But if we try to teach him, no, thank you. Don't worry, he's learning things just fine. It's just his personality. But he did want to do a scavenger hunt, right? He did want to like solve a mystery and stuff. So what I did was like, I put a bunch of like, very crude rudimentary drawings on a piece of paper, you know, like a house or like a toy they have. And then I scribbled over it. And then I just gave them the red magantile because honestly, you do not need to create a whole frame for it. They can just use it, hold it in their hands.

Shanna

Taking the time to create a whole frame for it would just be the recipe for my kids ignoring that and spending one second playing with it and me being like, well.

Laura

Exactly.

Shanna

Keep it simple.

Laura

Yeah, keep it simple. And they like being able to just hold it. And I just like told them to go find what they saw on the, you know, the treasure map or whatever. And that was it. That was, it was so fun. But the other cool thing is that this is sort of the scheme that most of these hidden picture toys use. Like we have a Paw Patrol, random Paw Patrol map that has this exact like blue under the red. I have that too. Yeah. And of course, you're going to lose the actual decoder because everything gets lost in my house. I don't know about you. So you just grab a red magnet tile. And my kids know that now. So like Sebastian will go if he wants to play with that Paw Patrol map, he just grabs a red magnet tile and uses it. And I'm just like, that is some smart problem solving kid.

Shanna

Yeah. That's so clever.

Laura

Yeah, but they really, really liked it and it's really fun. You just have to kind of play around with the shade of blue and red because some of them just really show through. So, but yeah, just play around with it. It's super easy.

Shanna

Well, now I know what I'm doing this afternoon.

Laura

And this is totally doable for kids to do for you too, right? You just say, OK, draw what you want to draw in the blue and then scribble over it with the red. And then I get to find out like what your secret message is.

Shanna

Oh, fun! That's very fun.

Laura

Okay, so that was my next hack. Sean, did you got another one for us?

Shanna

So, you know, I'm always trying to get my kids to cooperate with things in the mornings and in the evenings, those times of transition, just, yeah, still so challenging. I mean, so many things are challenging as a parent, but those are very difficult. And our friend Jen gave me an idea recently that a friend told her that was working for her child. And that is these to-do lists or like short chart things that she got on Amazon. And it's like a little board. And there are some where you can write in with dry erase marker like the task or the chore. or just, you know, a piece of paper with a marker. And to the right of the little task is a toggle, you know, where you can push the little toggle over and it becomes a check mark when the item is done. And I was like, ooh, that's a really good idea because there's something about that like tactile finishing a task that just feels good.

Laura

Oh, so it's not like a wall chart. I'm envisioning a wall chart. It's like a thing you can carry around.

Shanna

It's a handheld thing.

Laura

Oh, that's cool.

Shanna

I'm sure there are wall-sized ones. I bought some that are about six inches tall and four inches wide. They're very small handheld little items. They can bring them around the house with them. Do they each have one? They each have one. Good, yes. And this pack came with four. So they each have a morning one and they each have an evening one. And I have to do this.

Laura

Yes.

Shanna

It's cool.

Laura

That sounds really cool. I love it to do list. I really do. I mean. I'd love to be internally motivated for everything in my life, but that's just not my personality. If I can check something off the to-do list, that just makes my day. It's like that thing. I think I learned this from Gretchen Rubin's podcast, Happier, that sometimes you should put things on a to-do list just to be able to check them off.

Shanna

I will put things on my to-do list after I've done them, just so I can cross it off.

Laura

Yeah, just so you can feel like you've done something, because it gets the ball rolling, and then you're like, okay, let's do the next thing. As opposed to like, oh, there's so much to do. Yeah. Okay, I think I might, you need to send me the link for this so I can see if I can get my kids on board with this. They may like it.

Shanna

Yes. Yes, and I'll share it on our website too.

Laura

Okay.

Shanna

All right, what's your next one?

Laura

Okay, this is something I actually learned from our old nanny Eliza way back. And I don't think I've shared it on the show yet. So I'm going to share it now, which is that when you have a little kid who has a really hard time peeling stickers off of sticker sheets, you know, those big sheets with tons of stickers on them, they can be a little tricky, especially if your kid doesn't have long nails to like dig under and get them up.

Shanna

Yeah.

Laura

What she does is she peels off the negative space, the non-sticker sticky part, right? So that all that's left on the sheet are the actual stickers. So you have your sheet of waxy paper, and then you have your actual stickers, and all the negative space is peeled up. And then for whatever reason, it's so much easier for kids to get them out. And it's just such a quick trick to help kids be more independent with the stickers because I get so annoyed being like, okay, I'll get that sticker. I'll get that sticker. You know, it's just like endless. So this is a great trick for kids who can't quite do it themselves yet.

Shanna

Yeah, because they can feel where the edge of the sticker is. When it's all a flush surface, it's kind of hard to discern where they need to peel. So I totally understand how that would be helpful. And I really needed that hack. Maybe when CECE was like one and two, I swear, mama, this one, mama, this one.

Laura

Yeah. And the other thing is it's easy for them to sort of bend the backing paper in half then and really be able to get a sticker up. That's another trick to teach them. You can do that when there's still the negative space on the paper, but it's not as Good, because sometimes there's little adhesions and they don't actually come up. So it's just so much easier to do it this way.

Shanna

Nice. I love it.

Laura

Okay. Do you have another one for us?

Shanna

Okay. I discovered this TikTok from a user named Daniel Barton underscore and I think it's so genius. She suggests keeping a bin in your child's closet where you can toss clothes that they've outgrown. So that when you come across it in the drawer, the closet or whatever, you're not like, oh, what do I do with this? I shouldn't put it back in the drawer because they don't fit it anymore. I should probably give it away. And there's so much mental chatter that goes along with finding a piece of clothing that doesn't fit your kid anymore. Let's simplify that. put a bin in your kid's closet. You come across those pants, they outgrew a year ago. Just put them in there, done. And you can deal with it as a lump sum later on instead of all these tiny little to-do things that are always coming at you. Because as we know, kids are always growing out of their clothes.

Laura

They are, and it's so not correlated with the size on the label. Like just last night, Augie put on some pajama pants. He's currently sleeping only in pajama pants. No shirt because he wants to be like daddy. Yeah. It's very cute. And he put on these pajama pants and he went to like squat down to read a book and his entire butt fell out like into his entire butt. And I was like, baby, those pants do not fit you. Like we need to put on some new pants. And he let me change him. And I looked at the label and they're size six. And honestly, he he fits in size six. That's like what all of his other pajama pants are. They're all size six, right? Six or seven. And I'm like, Frickin' Burt's Bees, man. Why'd he gotta be like this?

Shanna

Process these clothes. Yes. That is what it is. You have to process them. What am I going to do with them? You know what I've also done, spawned by this idea, is I have started a bin in my own closet for clothes I don't want to keep anymore. Like I was going through my sweatshirt drawer the other day, right? Because it's like getting chilly again. And I'm like, you know, I never have really loved this sweatshirt. Why do I keep it around? It takes a lot of space. I don't know what to do with it. And I saw an empty IKEA cube in my closet. And I was like, ding, ding. So I threw it in there along with a couple other things and thought I'll process that later. And that'll be the spot I put stuff I don't want anymore. So yeah.

Laura

So you stumbled upon it for yourself. And now we just needed that TikTok to get you over the edge for the rest of your kids. So good. OK, I'm going to be doing this today. I got to find a bin to put into all these little closet. So we don't have a repeat of last night.

Shanna

I love it. Good idea. OK, do you have one more for us?

Laura

I do have one more. I was thinking we should do our final ones after the break. What do you think?

Shanna

Yes, indeed.

Laura

Okay. So I'm thinking of this as a hack. I don't know if it's applicable to everyone, but maybe if you're a Lego family, like we are, I mean, we are truly drowning in Legos here. This will work for you. But it's kind of a bigger sort of a bigger picture hack in general. So I'll tell you the specifics and then I'll tell you how I think it applies to everyone. Okay. So here's what I did. I got to be in my body the other day when I was in their messy playroom and trying to pick up all the Legos that I was like, you know what? I'm going to take all of the minifigs, which are the little figurines, right? All the little characters and separate them and put them in their own little bin. And so I got to, you know, I got to really scratch that deep organizing itch I had in me doing this by sorting through all of their Legos.

Shanna

Many figs. Okay, got it. Clearly, I'm not a Lego household. I didn't know what you were talking about. I gathered it was the people, but didn't know that slang. Okay.

Laura

Yes, many figs. Okay. I'm actually going to send you a little picture of my podcast set up right now just for fun. Okay.

Shanna

Okay. Oh, curious. Okay, there's your microphone. Oh, there's a little astronaut. And I assume that's a minifig.

Laura

That is a minifig. Minifigs are everywhere. I just found this random minifig in my closet. And I was like, well, this is going to be my little mascot for recording.

Shanna

Oh, that's cute.

Laura

But so I had all these minifigs in the same container. They came home from school. They were so excited. The cool thing about minifigs is they're like all Legos, they're modular, right? So you can take the heads off, you can take the arms off, the legs off and you can rearrange them, right? For like the next week, Shanna, that's all they wanted to do. They would go straight to the minifig bin and they'd want to put together their minifigs. They'd create all these scenes with their minifigs and it was actually engaging for them as opposed to, you know, I want to watch TV. I want to play on the iPad. It was like, no, they just wanted to go play with their minifigs. So that is my hack.

Shanna

This reminds me of a couple years ago when I was organizing the play area for the girls. And I took every single little character I could find. It's not Legos, but like if it's a miniature horse from something or a fuzzy little owl or whatever, anything like kind of lifelike and smallish, I put into one bin that was separate. And they would take that out and like make parades. and zoos and all kinds of things. And I think because there is some structure to it, right? It's not just like this big explosion of things in a toy room. It's like when it's narrowed down like that, their brains can understand what to do with it or what do you think it is?

Laura

I don't know, but let me show you. It works not just on kids, but adults too. I'm gonna send you some photos.

Shanna

Okay. Oh, hey, Grandma Susan! She has got a Lego board with about 50 mini-figs. And there she is at the table playing with them and putting them together. Oh, that's so cute.

Laura

Yeah. If you wonder where my hyper focus came from, my mom spent an hour being like, we need to make sure all of the mini-figs have heads and arms and legs. That's great. Yeah, so that was my final hack. Try to group your character toys together and see how it works with your kids.

Shanna

Yeah.

Laura

All right, Sean, did you have one more for us? Close us out.

Shanna

I do. So my last one is a tactic for dealing with bad dreams, your kids' bad dreams. I haven't figured out how to handle my own, but my kids often will wake me up in the middle of the night having trouble because I had a bad dream. And I've talked on the show before, I think, about how I don't ask questions in the middle of the night. I don't say, what was your dream? Tell me about it. Because I just don't think there's much use in them rehashing it and, you know, thinking about it a lot more. So I'll just be like, OK, let me come lie with you and I'll comfort you, et cetera. And usually that's enough. But lately, Elle in particular has been having trouble getting the dream out of her mind. We don't talk about it or anything, but we're lying there and she's like, I can't stop thinking about my bad dream. And she might mention a couple things and she's having trouble sleeping.

Laura

Okay, I definitely want to hear this because maybe it'll work for me too, hopefully.

Shanna

So we're lying next to each other and I quietly say, okay, here's what I want you to do. I want you to think in your mind of each thing that I'm about to list. I'm gonna list a bunch of things. And when I say a thing, imagine it in your mind. She's like, okay. And so I'm like, a beach. I'm gonna give her a second, let her think of a beach. The sandbox in the backyard. with the yellow shovel in it. Just like images, right? Things that are neutral, maybe pleasant that she can picture in her mind. And then after about five or six, I say something ridiculous, like catch her off guard, right? I'm like a llama wearing a clown's wig in high heels and sunglasses. And then she laughs and she pictures that, right? And I felt like the more we were doing this, the further her brain was getting away from those disturbing thoughts and images and focusing on other things.

Laura

I love that. That's so sweet. And breaking it up with the silly, ridiculous things is such a genius move, Shanna, because I feel like the kids would get bored otherwise, you know. it's too bland to think about just a mountaintop or whatever. But then they start anticipating, what silly thing are you gonna say? And it totally breaks up that thought cycle of being dwelling on the dream. Yeah, that's so good.

Shanna

Yeah, so try that if you ever need to with your kids or yourself, be like, Corey, tell me a bunch of things to imagine and then throw in some weird stuff.

Laura

Yeah, he's gonna be like, I am so confused. He wouldn't hear me. He sleeps very heavily.

Shanna

All right. Well, that was my last one. This was a great segment. I've got some good stuff to try. I'm so excited. Thank you for sharing, Laura.

Laura

Yes, and I have some great action items too. Okay. I love this segment.

Shanna

Me too. And thank you as always to our listener who suggested it oh so long ago. We are grateful. But now I think it's time to move on to our BFPs and BFNs.

Laura

It is.

Shanna

I have a BFP. Yay. Yay. So, you know, I did a big front yard project to try to beautify some parts of my front yard. And this week, I was like, oh, my backyard needs a refresh too. So I have embarked on a bit of a backyard redo makeover. It's slow going at the moment, but I got some new plants. I moved some plants around to like block this wall and make it look pretty. Steve bought a power washer and washed the patio. And so that's like looking nice and new.

Laura

I'm jealous of the power washer. I have power washer envy.

Shanna

You're welcome to borrow it anytime. I don't think it's going to get that much use in our lives, so I'm happy to share.

Laura

Can I pass on an anxiety? This is mostly just because I want you guys to be safe. I saw a horrifying TikTok video of someone who accidentally cut their own Achilles tendon with their power washer, so please wear shoes and keep it in front of you, okay?

Shanna

The week before we got the power washer, there was a thread in one of my parenting groups where the mom was like, alert, alert, be aware. If you use a power washer, don't point it at your bare foot to clean off the dust and debris from your foot. She totally injured her foot by doing that. And people were chiming in like, oh my gosh, I'm glad you told me that. Other people were like, oh, I drilled a hole in my foot once with a power washer. So.

Laura

Oh my god.

Shanna

I was like, OK, so you've

Laura

been warned, okay, good.

Shanna

Yes, yes, but here we are, warning all of you listeners, though, yes.

Laura

It's just, I was blown away because I never thought about power washer safety. And then I was like, oh, shit. Yeah, those things, I guess if they can blast grime off your patio, they can probably also blast your toe off. So, yeah. Yeah. Okay, good, good. Okay. Happy, happy stuff. Sorry. So you're cleaning up your backyard. It's a BFP, everyone.

Shanna

It's a BFP. No one lost any digits or Achilles heels in the process. Okay, good. I think Steve wore steel toe shoes. Anyway, we have this weird gate in our yard that the previous owner had put up to, I think like she ran a dog sitting thing or something and kept the dogs in one side. And I'm just like, I hate this thing. Like it was great when we had a pool and the girls were small. We could like, you know, gate it off. But now it's like, it's just weird. So we're going to cut that down. I've got big plans.

Laura

That's going to open up your yard so much.

Shanna

So much. I cannot wait. So it's slow going, but I'm excited because I have a vision and I'm taking some steps, some actions. So yeah, that's really all. OK, cool. Yeah. What about you? What do you got for us this week?

Laura

I also have a BFP. OK. OK, and mine is ridiculous, but it was something that kept us laughing so hard for at least two hours this weekend.

Shanna

Well, I need to know.

Laura

So all of a sudden remembered this weekend that like ages ago, I had shown him that if you do a panorama photo on your phone and you're taking a picture of a person on like the left side of the panorama and then they run behind you when they get out of frame and then show up on the right side, you could have the same person in two spots in the photo, right? Does that make sense? Yes, we've done these before. I know what you mean. Yeah. But what it turned into was us just taking like the silliest panorama photos ever in our living room. And we killed like an hour or two on Saturday during the heat, just playing around with panorama mode on our phone. I'm gonna send you some. Unfortunately, Augie wasn't wearing a shirt, so I'm not sure I could really post these to the internet, but I'm gonna send you some.

Shanna

Oh my gosh.

Laura

So it started with just the like, oh, I'm in one spot and I'm in another. But then we realized that if you walk really slowly, you can get, you know, sort of like a trail of a person on the picture. So I sent you one.

Shanna

Oh my gosh, so surreal. So many versions of Augie walking across the living room.

Laura

So blurry. You know, you get multiple heads and you get like weird things. This one, I'm about to send you, he looks like a prey mantis is what we decided, what we looked at it. But you know, the real bonus of this is that you take the photo, they're moving around. So you're getting them moving. And then they come and they snuggle up real close to you to look at the photo and laugh. And there's nothing better than cuddling with your kid and laughing.

Shanna

So good. Oh my gosh. Yeah, that one is very weird. It doesn't even have a head in the middle area.

Laura

And now I'm going to send you one that I cropped because it was the one that made us laugh the hardest. I mean, he was on the floor gasping for air because he was laughing so hard. And it's such a classic that it's now on our digital picture frame in rotation.

Shanna

Nice as it should be.

Laura

I think, you know, because it's so, I don't think any facial recognition is going to figure out this is him. So I think we could probably post it to the internet and be okay. Maybe I'll put like a heart over his naked chest. But he is so funny. And every time now it comes up on our digital picture frame, same reaction, laughing hysterically. So I highly recommend playing around with panorama mode on your phone. I assume most phones have them by now. Yeah. Yeah. And with your kids because it's super fun.

Shanna

I love it.

Laura

But that is it for me, and I think that's it for the show.

Shanna

I think it is.

Laura

Oh wait, unless you have a five-star review to read, Shanna.

Shanna

I do. This review is from a user named Rebula. The title of the review is A Lovely Mom Community and Great Advice. What more could I ask for? Five stars. I first found your podcast when I was living in Japan and pregnant and needing a community of mom friends that I was struggling to find overseas. I sadly lost that pregnancy and listened on and off through my many months of recovering emotionally from the loss and trying to conceive again. On the days I could think about the TTC journey, I found your podcast made me feel hopeful during the two week waits and it was lighthearted enough to make me feel a bit better after negative pregnancy tests. We successfully got pregnant again and I gave birth to a healthy baby boy in 2022 with me at age 40. I had always joked with my husband that we could wait for kids, but at 40 I was shutting down shop.

Laura

Oh no, you're the best.

Shanna

Rebula, thank you. You are the best. Thank you so much for that kind review. And I'm so glad that you're part of our BFP community by listening to the show and being in our Facebook group. It's just Warms my heart to know that we have so many wonderful people out there in the world. Listeners, if you haven't had a chance yet, could you please do us a favor and head on over to Apple Podcasts, leave us those five stars, say a few things you love about the show, and we might read it on an upcoming episode. And one more thing, whatever podcast app you're listening to our show in right now, just go and make sure that you are subscribed to the show or you're following the show. That way you'll get our new episodes the second they drop. And that really helps our show as well. And if you have any parenting hacks you want to share with us, you know, we would love to hear them.

Laura

We are on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok at BFP Podcast. We have a website, bigfatpositivepodcast.com. And if you want to send us an email, you can always throw a voice memo in there. We absolutely love those. Just send them to contact at bigfatpositivepodcast.com. And finally, if you want to join that Facebook group that everyone's mentioning in their five-star reviews, just search Facebook for Big Fat Positive Community. It's a private group. That's how we keep it a nice safe space. And you got to answer those two membership questions so we know you're not a robot because we don't let robots into our safe space, guys. Okay, but once you do that, you'll be sent straight through to all the amazing conversations we're having in there.

Shanna

Our show is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thanks for listening, everyone. Have a big, fat, positive week. Bye. Bye.