When Playdates Go Wrong – Ep. 316

Laura:
Welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. This week, we have our weekly check ins. We have our special segment, stump the mom, where we learn some surprising facts about pregnancy and Disneyland, and we close with our BFPs and BFFs for the week. Let’s get started. Hello. Hello. This is episode 316. Shanna, are you there?

Shanna:
Hello. I am here.

Laura:
Oh, good. I’m not just talking into a void, like usual. Today, I have someone to talk back to me. Hi, Shanna. Hello. You wanna tell me about your week?

Shanna:
Oh, yes. Yes. I do. Alrighty. Let’s dig right in here. So this week, I’ve noticed that CeCe’s behavior is a little bit more spicy

Laura:
than usual.

Shanna:
Uh-huh. She’s really been acting out. She’s really been defiant, obstinate. For example, just pushing my buttons, not getting ready to go to camp in the morning, not really listening when I ask her to do things, throwing toys you know, getting physical. So just and I know she has her moments like this, but they usually are moments. And so this week the last several days has just been consistent and, of course, I’m exasperated by it, but then I took a breath and I was thinking, maybe she is going through something. School ended. Right? TK ended.

Shanna:
She doesn’t see her teachers that she was seeing every day. She doesn’t see her friends that she was seeing every day. She’s doing these different summer camps. There’s a lot of transition. So I was just like, hey, CeCe. It’s been a tough couple weeks, hasn’t it? Like, you probably miss your school and your teachers. And she’s like, yeah. And I’m like, you probably miss your best friends, And she’s like, yeah.

Shanna:
And so I said, why don’t I plan a play date? Like, you need to see your besties from Tia. You need a little bit of consistency in your life. So I reached out to 3 of her friends’ parents, and I said, hey. Why don’t y’all come over to our place? We’ll play in the sprinklers, have popsicles. It’s gonna be a hot day. We’ll do some water play. It’ll be fun. And they were all like, yes.

Shanna:
Let’s do it. So this is the first time we’ve had kind of a big play date for CeCe at our house. So I really wanted to make it nice and special and fun, and I wanted to clean up the backyard. Our yard is a disaster from the last few months of not taking care of it.

Laura:

Shanna:
And for some reason, I got a hair up my ass to trim our trees, like DIY tree trimming the day before. So I had all these branches everywhere. It was ridiculous, but that just meant I have a lot of yard prep to do. And every step along the way, I kept just having this paranoid thought of I need to make sure this yard is safe for these children. I need to get the big branches out of the way. Because I cut these branches, but I had nowhere to put them. Right? Like,

Laura:
so they’re just, like,

Shanna:
stacked in the back bank or whatever. So I’m pushing pokey things out of the way, trying to make sure that we have a safe yard for the kids. And as I’m doing all of this, I had this thought like, oh my gosh. I hope this play date goes okay. And I’m like, Shanna, come on. It’s like kids coming over and eating popsicles and playing on the sprinkler. It’s gonna be fine. Like, I was worrying.

Shanna:
I was really getting worked up about it. Yeah. It sounds

Laura:
like it. Look, I get it because we also had a play date this week for a bunch of Auggie’s friends, and I kinda did the same thing. I was just like, holy shit. Our backyard is disgusting. Like, must fix this up right now. You know? Not that I didn’t have 5,000 other things to do, but it’s like gotta hose down all the toys and go make sure that things are safe for the kids. And I get it. It’s hard to turn off that that sort of social anxiety.

Laura:
It’s not that same social anxiety of I don’t wanna see people. It’s that anxiety of being accepted and wanna you know, and you’re probably having people you don’t know that well, right, like the parents in your house. So Yeah. I get it. I get it.

Shanna:
Yeah. Exactly. And one of them was gonna do a drop off. It was gonna be her first time being dropped off over here, so I was the parent in charge. You know? Great sense of responsibility. CeCe was thrilled all week, just so excited about her friends coming over for this play date. And, the morning comes. I’m getting the yard ready, and I got a call from one of her friend’s parents, and she was like, she can’t come today.

Shanna:
I have to go and do some work, and we just can’t make it. And I was like, oh, shocks. Okay. So we’re down to 2 kids. Right? That’s a little bit of a disappointment, but we can get over it. The time comes for the play date party, really. We just kept calling it a party. So, her little best friend gets dropped off, and then her other little best friend, we’ll call him Josh, comes and he’s with his mom and I know I’ve known them for a few years, but this is the first time they’ve been to our house and everyone’s meeting the kitten, Coco, and it’s all like it’s really sweet.

Shanna:
We’re hanging out inside for a little while and then we’re let’s go out in the backyard. Let’s have that sprinkler party, popsicle party. We go out there, and I turn on the sprinkler. I bought this blob splash pad impulsively from Target. You fill it with water, and it has sprinklers, and they’re having a good time and everything. And then Al is on the other side of the yard in a little inflatable pool that I had set up. And she’s like, let’s come over here. And so all the kids go over to that side.

Shanna:
And I was like, I wanna put more water in the pool. And we’re like, okay. And she’s holding the hose. And Josh’s mom goes over to turn the hose on the other side of the yard while I’m doing something else. And all of a sudden, I hear blood curdling screaming. Absolutely like No. And I look over and Josh is standing in the little inflatable pool, just screaming. Elle is holding the hose and it’s pointed towards him.

Shanna:
And so, we’re all like, oh, honey, it’s okay. It’s just water. Like, I was like, oh, he probably didn’t wanna get like hosed off. Right? You know, some people don’t like that sensation, especially when they’re not expecting it and stuff. And so his mom comes over. She’s like, honey, it’s just water. It’s okay. It’s okay.

Shanna:
And I’ll points the hose away from him, and he is not calming down. So I run over too, and we’re like, oh my gosh. What’s going on? And his mom was like, what’s wrong? What’s wrong, honey? And finally, he’s like, hot. And she turns him around and touches the back of his neck and his back. He was wearing aa Sun Guard t shirt.

Laura:
Like a rash guard.

Shanna:
A rash guard. And she’s like, oh my god. It’s boiling. And she pulls the neck of his rash guard down, and his skin is peeled. No. She knows. Pulls up his shirt and his skin is bright red. He is panicking.

Shanna:
He is in so much pain. So I run-in the house. I get an ice pack, and the mom is she’s such an amazing person. It’s like she’s very sweet, kind, calm, cool, collected. Immediately, she was like, alright. Let’s go to urgent care. I’m like, wow. She made that decision so fast.

Shanna:
I feel like I would have been like, what do we do? I don’t know. But she was just like we’re going to urgent care. She’s like, stay here. I’m gonna go start the car, get the air going, and I’ll be right back. And I love this kid. He is a sweetie. I’ve known him for several years. He is crying.

Shanna:
I’m next to him holding his hand and put the ice pack on his back. I’m like, honey, it’s okay. You’ll be okay. I know it hurts. It hurts. I am dying inside. I’m like, this is not how I expected this play date to go. Oh, no.

Shanna:
I was heartbroken for this little guy. And so she whisks him out of there, and they go to urgent care. And turns out the water that was in that hose had heated up in the sun so much that it scalded his skin. I have lived in Phoenix, Arizona my entire childhood. I never had that happen. I understand the concept of hot water in a hose, but never been injured by it and certainly not in LA. and our yard is mostly shade, so we were all so confused about how that happened. And Elle was feeling bad because she had been pointing the hose that hit him with the water.

Shanna:
It was a disaster.

Laura:
Oh, no. Is he okay? Like, what I wanna jump ahead in time a little bit and find out what happened at urgent care.

Shanna:
Well, first, on their way out, I’m walking them through the house to towards their car. And as they’re walking out, I’m like, here, take your cookies because they had brought 2 big boxes of cookies from Sprouts to share with everybody. And so his mom picks up one of the boxes of cookies, and Josh sees this, and mid cry, he’s like, aren’t you gonna bring the other one, mom?

Laura:
Well, that’s a good sign. A very good sign. So she

Shanna:
and I were laughing. We’re like, okay. That’s a good sign. So she picks up the other box of cookies and leaves. And so the play date continues, and a couple hours later, I check-in. I’m like, hey. I hope he’s doing okay. I am so, so sorry that happened.

Shanna:
And she got back to me, and she’s like, he’s gonna be a okay. I hope Elle is okay. It was a total accident. And I was like, oh my god. I hope he’s not scared or nervous to come hang out at our house ever again. She’s like, no. No. No.

Shanna:
He’s already so excited to go back and play. He wants to hang out in the future, but he’s gonna be okay. And I was like, oh my god. So I saw her a week later at another play date and I saw him too. He had a bandage on his neck, and I was like, oh my gosh. She’s like, no. It’s so much better. It’s so much better.

Shanna:
And she showed me, and his skin totally lookspink and burned. And she showed me pictures of what it looked like you know, after urgent care, and it really was peeling everywhere. And she’s like, but he is fine. He’s it’s totally healed up. He’s doing great. We’re just keeping him out of the sun for another week or so, and he’ll be fine.

Laura:
You know, this is one of those things that well, there’s 2 things that come to mind. The first one is I’m really glad his mom is the one who turned on the hose and not you because Yeah. There’s just something about the fat like, I can I I’m imagining this scenario in my head? And it’s like, well, if you had turned on the hose, I’m sure you would have felt a million times worse. Right? Because

Shanna:
Yeah.

Laura:
You initiated it. So even she didn’t anticipate this happening. Right? Like, no one saw this coming. And then it’s also just justifying my super paranoia about everything, basically. You know, I am a I’m a cautious person. I maybe project a little too much into the future of all the bad things that can happen. But this is one of the ones I’m a little, over the top about, and I’ve gotten a bit of a few rolled eyes, I’ll say, from my mother, from Corey, from various people about don’t turn on the hose. Don’t don’t don’t get the hose going until a parent comes by because I have felt the how hot it is.

Laura:
And it’s it can get so insanely hot obviously, burning hot.

Shanna:
Yeah.

Laura:
But I’m so sorry. Now I’m like, I feel personally responsible that I’ve never passed on this paranoia to you, and I feel like I should have done that at some point.

Shanna:
Yeah. I just did not see that coming at all at all.

Laura:
Yeah. It’s a good PSA, though, because, obviously, nothing life changing happened. There were no it doesn’t sound like the burns are going to be a long term problem for this kid, so that’s good. But now you can tell everyone who’s listening if you live anywhere, even if it’s not that hot, if your hose is full of water, it’ll get super hot. Like, it can get super hot super fast. So

Shanna:
Yes. And I have a black hose. Have one of those0 g. They’re kinda like you know, they’re more cloth like.

Laura:
Yeah.

Shanna:
But they are black, so I wonder if that’s part of the reason that

Laura:
it’s so hot. Yeah.

Shanna:
So play date went great.

Laura:
Can I tell you about how my play date almost went? This wasn’t part of my check-in. Yeah. But I’m gonna have to find this video. Okay, because it’s hilarious. So the day before our play date, I was frantically cleaning the backyard. Like, you and I decided, oh, I need to clean out all the ride-on toys and all the we it’s basically a toddler toy graveyard back there. Yeah. And we have a big yard, and a lot of the toys had kinda gotten stuck in the corner underneath the oak tree for a long time.

Laura:
So I put on gloves and carried them to the middle of the lawn and kind of shook them out and threw them on the ground and then was hosing them down really good. Good. And at that point, I was like I should take some b-roll footage because, every once in a while, we get a Bbeein our bonnet about trying to do more social media stuff. And one of the things we’re trying is do b roll and then put some text over it or whatever. I was like, okay, this is a great opportunity to take b roll footage. So I got Auggie’s iPad out because I was already using my iPhone for something else. Set it up to take video of me hosing down all the toys. And as I’m recording, I’m washing out underneath one of these toddler ride on toys, like this old this plastic car, not a Cozy Coupe, but like a plastic ride on car.

Laura:
And I’m hosing down the deep undercarriage of it. And a lot of gunk is coming out. And then a gigantic black widow climbed out of there. I mean, with the red hourglass and everything, And I have to find the video because I definitely jumped. Like, I definitely jumped. That’s amazing. And so I was like, oh, cool. I’m glad that if I hadn’t gotten around to this, some kids would have been riding around on fucking black widows.

Laura:
Oh my god.

Shanna:
Yeah. Not to

Laura:
mention that my kids have probably been riding around on that toy with black windows under it. Ugh.

Shanna:
Oh my

Laura:
word. Anyway, so there’s dangers everywhere.

Shanna:
There are. And, yeah, sometimes you can anticipate them, and sometimes you can’t.

Laura:
Truly. Ugh.

Shanna:
So you just gotta go with it.

Laura:
Well, I’m glad Josh is okay.

Shanna:
I am too. I’m really glad too. After we all recovered from that, CeCe did end up having a great few hour play date with her little BFF. They played in this pool and it was great. Ate lots of popsicles, and it was fun. CeCe said it was one of the best days of her life, but also bad because of Joshua. Oh. But it was also one of the best.

Shanna:
So

Laura:
Well, hopefully, you can do it again soon minus the mild scalding.

Shanna:
Yes, indeed. Alright. So that’s me. What about you? What’s going on with you all aside from your black widow play date?

Laura:
Well, yeah. So we had the play the Black Widow was not present at the actual play date. I’m happy to report the play date went off without a hitch. I’ll talk about that a little more in my final segment. But I actually had a little story I wanted to tell in this check-in about something that happened with Sebastian at parkour class this week. Oh, okay. That was kind of surprising to me. Speaking of social anxiety, missing friends, that sort of thing, this story definitely ties into that.

Laura:
So we’re fairly new to parkour class. It’s been a little over a month, I wanna say, maybe 6 weeks of going to parkour class. So we’re starting to get to know some of the other families that are there. But it’s been a little bit of a revolving group because some weeks, it’s super busy, and some weeks, it’s dead. And I haven’t really gotten a chance to get to know all the kids that are there. And this week, we went to parkour class. I had just taken Sebastian by himself because Corey was available to take Auggie later. Their classes are back to back, but if we can avoid taking them together, we do because it’s a lot of just sitting around for the other kid.

Laura:
So I was there alone with Sebastian. And they have the class split up into different activities, sort of segments. They start with some stretching and some games, and then they go on to doing their obstacle course. And then they, do a different obstacle course, and then they do a game, and then they’re done. Right? And in between these different segments of the class, they have to line up with the other kids in something they call a ladder box. And it’s just like a ladder that’s drawn on the floor. Right? But they say, you gotta get in your ladder box.

Laura:
And they all run, and they get in their ladder box. You know? They always wait patiently with no wiggling or anything, of course. Sure. So Sebastian was having a great time at parkour this day. Like, he was just having a wonderful time doing all the different activities and climbing. It’s a lot of work. And so he’s sweating. He’s having a good time.

Laura:
And then they’re okay. Return to the ladder box. And he’s cute during class. He kind bosses people around. So he’s ladder box. Time for ladder box. And everyone runs.

Shanna:
And he

Laura:
was the first one to the ladder box. He’s being a very good student on that particular day. And a kid runs over and gets in the little ladder square next to him, and they’re waiting. And they’re waiting for the other kids to stop goofing off. Right? So they’re standing around just sort of waiting for the teacher to address them. And I’m off to the side watching, but he doesn’t really know I’m there. I’m kind of trying to keep a low profile so that he doesn’t catch wind of me watching him and then get distracted and wanna come hang out with me, which is something that happens. And I’m watching this interaction with this other kid who’s older than him.

Laura:
Like, he’s clearly 4. The class is for 3 to 4 year old’s. And this kid was definitely 4 already and definitely bigger.

Shanna:

Laura:
And Sebastian’s trying to make small talk. It is so cute. He’s like, what’s your name? What’s your favorite color? Like, these favorite questions. Right? And the kid’s answering. And then I hear Sebastian say, you want to come to my house for a poi date? And I hear the little kid go, actually, I think I’m staying home today. He didn’t say no. He didn’t say no. I would never wanna go to your house for a play date.

Laura:
He just said, actually, I’m staying home today. Right? Which is a very 4 year old response. Like I’m watching. And when he says that, Sebastian hangs his head totally down. He gets the saddest look on his face. He gets the classic lower lip pout. And then the teacher starts talking to them.

Laura:
He gets a little bit distracted. And I was like, oh, that was kind of a sad interaction, but whatever. He’s fine. I looked down at my phone because the teacher had started talking to them. And next thing I know, I look up and Sebastian’s right in front of me. And he’s really sad. And I’m like, hey, buddy. What’s going on? He goes, I won’t go home.

Laura:
I won’t go home. And, honestly, at that point, I hadn’t put 2 and 2 together. I thought he was just getting tired of class because, as we’ve discussed previously, at great length, our kids don’t always want to stay in classes that they’ve signed up for and we’ve paid good money for.

Shanna:
Right.

Laura:
So I was just like, no. But the you’re gonna you’re gonna do the games next. It’s gonna be fine. Like, it’s the class is almost over doing all the negotiation techniques. So I was like, I wanna go home. I want mama. And then he crawls into my lap and needs a hug. And I’m like, oh my gosh.

Laura:
Is this because of the social rejection he just experienced? Oh, buddy. And it occurred to me and I said, oh, baby. Is this because that little boy didn’t wanna come over for a play date? He goes, yeah. Aw. I’m like, oh, sweetie. I don’t think he’s he doesn’t wanna be your friend. I think he just he’s busy today. He goes, I wanna go home.

Laura:
And I he was so sad. And I was floored because I’m like, oh my gosh. I just witnessed what is possibly his first social rejection.

Shanna:
Yeah. And it

Laura:
was I mean, to be fair, it wasn’t this little kid was being fine. He wasn’t like, no. Go away. You know? He was fine. Yeah. But he interpreted it as a social rejection, and, he got really sad about it. And I was like, oh my goodness. My poor baby.

Laura:
First of all, I wanted to protect him. You know? I was like, of course. You have so many friends. You have so many friends. Then I realized also, he knew that we were gonna do a play date with Auggie’s friends. So I think he was a little jealous, and he won one of his friends there. Oh. So the it was very complex.

Laura:
But I just thought, oh my gosh. Like, this is no longer a little baby. This is a kid who has all these complicated feelings inside and feelings that have nothing to do with me, they have to do with other kids, and whether he has friends or not. And, it just it broke my heart and warmed it at the same time, if that makes any sense. Yeah.

Shanna:
Yeah. Well, the fact that he’s sensitive enough to feel that way, I mean, I really think that takes a special level of sensitivity from a 3 and a half year old.

Laura:
Yeah. Not even 3a half. I know.

Shanna:
Yeah. Yeah. That’s pretty incredible. And even to just, I don’t know, feel the feelings. I feel like if that happened to my girls, they would, I don’t know, brush it off and act extra sassy or kind of a defensive reaction because, I mean, that’s also how I always was as a kid too. It’s like, oh, you don’t like me? Well, fuck you, was my attitude. I would never

Laura:
be like, oh, you made

Shanna:
me sad. So I think it’s so sweet that I know. He was moved in that way. Did you reach out to the parent of that kid and try to make a connection? I mean, not necessarily bring that interaction up, but just be like, hey. Do you wanna get together for a play date or anything sometime?

Laura:
You know, I thought about it, but I couldn’t figure out exactly who the parent was until the very end because I didn’t see who he’d walked in with, and it was like a new kid. Oh. So I wasn’t sure exactly who was the parent. And then when I figured it out, it was kind of too late to ask. And also the kid was significantly older as far as I could tell, so I wasn’t sure it was a match. You know? I think

Shanna:
Yeah.

Laura:
Honestly, I think Sebastian was just asking because he was standing next to him. You know? Like, there’s another kid in the class that I really want him to become friends with because I’ve been hitting it off with the mom, and I want us to be friends. So I’m gonna work on that one.

Shanna:
There you go. That’s

Laura:
But it’s funny you also mentioned how your girls would have reacted. I think part of the reason it took me a second to figure out and also took me aback is because Auggie would have been the same way. Like, he has I’ve watched him invite friends over and be like, you wanna play? And then the kids would be like, no. And he’s like, okay. You know, he just goes off and does his thing. But it really affected Sebastian. So I don’t know. It was just a very sweet and interesting interaction, and I wanted to share it.

Shanna:
Yeah. Well, he’s growing up, and good on him for putting himself out there trying to connect with new people.

Laura:
Yeah. I know. It’s a really good skill to have, and I told him that. I said, it’s really nice that you asked. And, also, I have to say that after I talked to him for a couple minutes about it. He needed a snuggle, and I was like, mommy loves you so much, and you’re my special guy, and I did all this stuff to kind of bolster his ego. He did go back and

Shanna:
finish class. So Good. I love that.

Laura:
Yeah. But anyway, I do think we should finish this segment because we’ve got a fun one coming up, and I wanna get to it. Alrighty.

Shanna:
We are back. And this week, our special segment is Stump the Moms, where Laura and I grill each other with trivia questions related to anything involving children, parenting, pregnancy, what have you. Laura, you are up first, and I’ve got my trivia hat on, and I’m being smart. So lay it on me.

Laura:
Okay. So I am basing all my questions on this article I read in The New York Times that was about a new study put out by some Australian researchers. Okay? And this was put out in May 2024, so it’s a pretty new study. And this new study had some supposedly surprising information about what? Is it, a, that twins are easier to parent than singletons because they have built in playmate? Is it b, that pregnancy requires way more calories than scientists previously thought? Or c, that it’s easier to get pregnant if you have sex every single day.

Shanna:
Alright. Alright. Let’s see. I do think twins no. I don’t think twins would be easier to parent than saying, what am

Laura:
I talking about? Nobody in their right mind.

Shanna:
What? I’m like, I’m drawn to that one.

Laura:
All the twin parents are like, shut your mouth.

Shanna:
Yes. Exactly. Okay. Pregnancy takes more calories. I am drawn to that one because I remember when I got pregnant with Elle, my doctor was like, you don’t really need any more calories until your last trimester, then you can eat an extra peanut butter sandwich each day, and that will be enough. And I was like, excuse me? I thought that was wild. And then what

Laura:
was the last one? That it’s easier to get pregnant if you have sex every single day.

Shanna:
Oh, that seems like a given, maybe. Although, I have heard every other day so the sperm can recuperate and rebuild. Okay. This peanut butter sandwich, I just cannot get it out of my head, so I’m gonna go with b.

Laura:
Ding ding. That is correct.

Shanna:
Okay. I’m dying to know. What can I have a lasagna instead? What should I have done?

Laura:
Well, there are some more questions I have that are related to the specifics of this. So I’m not gonna get too much into it right now, but I will say that, apparently, no one had done a proper analysis of how many calories are needed to sustain a pregnancy. And so these researchers were like, we can do it. So they actually collected data from 81 different species to find out what it takes to be pregnant from across the animal kingdom. They found that mammals actually do require the most energy. And I’m gonna get into the details in further questions, but that was the supposedly surprising they’re like, oh, surprising new research when all pregnant people are like yeah. Yeah.

Shanna:
Let me

Laura:
tell you, it does take more energy being pregnant. Okay. Such a surprise. So glad there was a study.

Shanna:
Yeah. Exactly. Thank you. Did they study humans as well?

Laura:
Yes. They studied humans, and white tailed deer apparently needed a ton of calories. And there’s some kind of microorganism needed one one millionth of a calorie to reproduce.

Shanna:
Easy peasy. Lemonspeasy.

Laura:
We’ll learn more about the details of what you need to eat, to sustain a pregnancy in further questions. But I wanna get to my first question because you are already blazing ahead with a correct answer.

Shanna:
Okay. My questions are all on theme as well. Literally, they’re about a theme park, the Disney franchise, if you will. You know, I have theme parks on the brink, so I went to one last week. But these three questions do have to do with Disney. So here we go.

Laura:
Okay.

Shanna:
According to a medical study, which Disney ride has been shown to help people pass kidney stones?

Laura:
I know this one. Maybe it’s because my family has a history of kidney stones.

Shanna:
Oh, well, maybe you were a part of the study. Okay. Well, look. Let me do the answers anyway so our audience can play along in case

Laura:
Good point. Good point. Okay. It’s not just about me and my, intense knowledge of Disney shit. Okay?

Shanna:
Okay. Is it, a, Big Thunder Mountain Railroad,

Laura:
b, Space Mountain, or, c, Humunga Calabonga? I gotta say, I don’t know what Humunga Calabonga is. Is that a Disney World one?

Shanna:
It is. It’s a Disney Worldwater park thrill ride, but I had to put it in there because I just needed to say Humunga Cowabunga on the show.

Laura:
That’s a good one. Okay. So I do know this one. I will say that I could see it being either a or b because they’re both kinda jiggly rides. I mean, if you think about what you need to do to get a kidney stone out is you gotta jiggle. Right? Like, you gotta shake it out. Basically, there’s this procedure called a lithotripsy that they do to get kidney stones out. I know about them because my mom has had a ton of them.

Laura:
Because, as I mentioned, we have a history of kidney stones in our family. And it’s like ultrasonic vibrations, basically trying to get the kidney stone out. But I actually know about this because I saw a TikTok of someone who said it was cheaper for them to buy a flight to Florida and go to Disney World and ride Big Thunder Mountain Railroad than it was to go to the hospital and get treated for kidney stones. So they decided to try to do that. So they were riding it over and over all day trying to get their kidney stone out. So, yes. A is my final answer.

Shanna:
Ding ding ding. You got it right. What I find really fascinating about this is that an actual research study was done on it and published. A lot of doctors were getting anecdotes from their patients that going on this mountain was helping them pass their kidney stones. They wanted to see if they could show that in a research study. So what they did was they created a 3 d model of a kidney, and, they put it in a backpack and brought it on the ride. But before they put it in the backpack, they filled it with urine and 3 different real kidney stones of different sizes, and they rode this roller coaster 20 times, to see what would happen to the kidney stones. And what they really found out is that where in the train car they rode, that made the most difference.

Shanna:
So when they rode in the front car, it helped pass the kidney stones 17% of the time. When they sat in the rear car, it helped pass the kidneys 64% of the time.

Laura:
Woah. Better than half. Interesting.

Shanna:
And I was just like, why? I mean, I did not know about this vibration process you happen to know about. So I was like, what is it with this That makes the kidneys pass? And the scientist is like, oh, g force. You know, the roller coaster has g force that plays a part in it, the positive and negative blah blah blah. So g force helps pass kidney stones on Big Thunder Mountain Railroad.

Laura:
You know what this goes back to, Shanna, is that spinning contraption for labor that that guy invented. I feel like now they need to just make it buzzy and spinny to get kidney stones out. There might be something there. Just saying.

Shanna:
Yes. Yes. I think that would work. And then they need to install that in Disneyland for a new ride.

Laura:
I just keep thinking about the security person who was checking bags that day opening up that backpack. You know?

Shanna:
I know. What is this, sir? Oh, no. Just a kidney full of urine. Don’t mind me. Don’t mind me.

Laura:
Don’t mind me. There’s nothing in the park rules that says we can’t bring a 3 d model of a kidney filled with urine on this ride.

Shanna:
I like the idea of the security guard flipping through the rule manual to double check that. Oh, man. So, yeah, if you have a kidney stone, book a flight to Disney World because this study was done at Disney World, by the way. I don’t know if this would work at Disneyland.

Laura:
For all the Disney people out there I’d love to know if there’s a big difference between the two rides at Disney World and Disneyland because I do love the Disneyland one. I haven’t been on it in years, but I’m hoping to take Auggie next time we go. I think he might be okay with it. We’ll see. He’s finally tall enough.

Shanna:
Oh, okay.

Laura:
But I love it. For people who don’t know, it’s like a it’s like a roller coaster that goes through a a what is it? Like, an abandoned mine type thing. Yeah.

Shanna:
Okay. It’s fun. It’s fun. I enjoyed it.

Laura:
In the Wild West.

Shanna:
Yeah. Alright. It is 1 to 1. And, Laura, what do you have next for me?

Laura:
Okay. So back on the energy expenditures during pregnancy. So we talked about how previous estimates of the calories needed for pregnancy were much lower, and they were lower because scientists generally assumed that most of the energy involved in reproduction wound up in the fetus, right ended up going to the actual baby, which is relatively small. Right? You give birth to a 7 pound baby. I don’t know how many calories that takes, but 7 pounds doesn’t require that many additional calories. Ask me how I know. But Dustin Marshall, an evolutionary biologist at Monash University, and the students have discovered that energy stored in a human baby’s tissues accounts for what percentage of the total energy costs. So they discovered that there’s actually more things.

Laura:
Like, the mom needs a bunch of energy too. So what percentage actually goes to the baby? 4%, 10%, or 17%?

Shanna:
Interesting. Okay. Are you asking what percent goes toward the creation of the baby and the stored

Laura:
in the baby. Yeah. Exactly. So the for all the food you eat during pregnancy, what percentage of the calories that you’re taking in actually are going to building the baby into that 7 pound little wiggly, wrinkly guy that comes out or girl? And what percentage just goes into sustaining your body during pregnancy all the other energy you have to spend. Right.

Shanna:
Because you’ve gotta build a placenta. You your blood volume increases. It’s harder to walk and breathe. Exactly. All those things. Well, look, when my doctor told me to just eat an extra sandwich a day, back then, probably, they were thinking 4%. No.

Shanna:
Maybe more. I don’t know. Numbers are confusing me right now. You know what? Let’s go with the lowest. I bet only 4% of your calories go towards making that baby. You are correct, Shanna. That is really surprising, though. Like, I mean, that was a wild guess.

Laura:
Yeah. Only about 4% of the total energy cost of pregnancy fuel required by a pregnant person’s own body. Wow. Think about that. And it’s so validating because pregnancy feels so hard, you

Shanna:
know?

Laura:
And turns out it is, you know. And when you’re craving food, you’re just like, because your body needs it.

Shanna:
Oh, that constant hunger pit in my stomach growling constantly. Yeah.

Laura:
Yeah. So there you go. Alright. So you have 2 questions correct so far, Shanna. Okay. Well You got another one for me?

Shanna:
You might know this one too. Which of the following is true of Disneyland’s opening day in July 1955? A, that day security foiled a plot by a pair of men to kidnap Walt Disney’s 19 year old daughter, Sharon, b, that day, a child fell off the top deck of the Mark Twain riverboat into the water and had to be rescued, or, c, that

Laura:
day was

Shanna:
known as Black Sunday because of how disastrous it was. Oh my gosh.

Laura:
You know what? You’d think I’d know because my kids were watching the documentaries on Disney plus about opening Disneyland. Oh. I wanna say it’s not the riverboat because, for some reason, I don’t think that was there on opening day, but I could be wrong. But I think that the whole New Orleans thing was opened later. Oh, I know the New Orleans Square was opened later. I just don’t know if the riverboat was or not. So I’m gonna skip that. The kidnapping thing is so oddly specific that I feel like I have to go with that.

Laura:
So, yeah. I’m just gonna go with the kidnapping. Why not?

Shanna:
I am sorry, friend. You are wrong. Yours truly wrote that straight from my imagination.

Laura:
Very good.

Shanna:
The riverboat was there, because I looked it up, and it was there on opening day. That incident did not happen as far as I know. But the opening day was a disaster and was known as Black Sunday. The park was not quite ready for visitors yet, but it had been touted on all of Disney’sprograms and stuff, and so everybody wanted to go. So it was just huge influx of peopledouble the number of people that should have been there. So as a result they ran out of food and drinks. It was the middle of the summer, and some people’s shoes got stuck in freshly laid asphalt in the heat. Plumbers went on strike, and Disney had to choose between having bathrooms or drinking fountains operating.

Shanna:
And he chose bathrooms, and so people are stumbling around in the heat looking for some somewhere to get a drink of water.

Laura:
Oh my gosh.

Shanna:
Apparently, there were a bunch of counterfeit tickets out, so even more people were there than should have been, and they just weren’t ready. They weren’t ready for any of it. So it was it was wackadoo.

Laura:
It’s fascinating to think about because it’s such a well oiled machine now. You know? Every little detail is thought of. So to think back to it being a disaster is interesting. Very interesting.

Shanna:
Well, as I always tell my kids, you learn from your mistakes.

Laura:
And then you make 1,000,000,000 of dollars from them.

Shanna:
Yes. Yes. That’s the part I need to tell them too. Alright. What do you got next for me?

Laura:
Oh, I was thinking I’d give you the final question after the break to see if I can even catch up to you or not. Okay. We’ll see if it stumps you.

Shanna:
Alright. Let’s do it.

Laura:
Okay. We are back, and I have one more question for Shanna. This is the question she’s been asking me this whole time I’ve been talking about energy expenditure during pregnancy, and we’re finally getting to it, Shanna. Okay. So the question is, now that you know that only 4% of the extra calories you need during pregnancy go towards the actual fetus, And you know that we’ve been underestimating all this time. Tell me, which one of these diets would provide the additional calories to cover 9 months of pregnancy. And if you wanna be specific, I’m actually calculating it over 38 weeks because that’s technically full term from implantation. Right? Okay?

Shanna:
So if you

Laura:
wanna get nitpicky, that’s where I’m going. Okay? Is it one serving of nacho cheese Doritos every single day? Is it a dozen Krispy Kreme glazed doughnuts twice a month, or is it a slice of Cinnabon cinnamon swirl cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory once a week.

Shanna:
So which of these consumed over that amount of time equals the extra amount of calories you need? Exactly. You’re saying okay. I really want it to be the Cinnabon cheesecake because that’s what I would want to consume. I don’t feel like the chips is quite enough based on what my doctor told me in the past, and we were wrong in the past. So I’m gonna nix that one. The donuts every 2 months, I can’t even wrap my head around, like Twice a month, my friend. Twice a month. Twice a month.

Shanna:
Oh, not every other month. Okay. And then the cheesecake when?

Laura:
Once a week.

Shanna:
Once a week. Once a week. Once a once a week. That seems the most decadent and calorie rich to me. So I’m gonna go with that one.

Laura:
You are correct. Fuck. Alright. So here’s what they found. They found that a human pregnancy requires about 50,000 additional calories, right, than Okay. To sustain the pregnancy. Although, it seems like that’s on the low end of the estimate. There was an expert named Herman Pontzer, who’s a professor of evolutionary anthropology and global health at Duke University, who said, I would say that for most women, 50,000 calories is going to be a gross underestimate, he said.

Laura:
I think for most, it’s gonna be more like 70,000 or even more. Okay. So the estimate seemed to range between 50 to 85,000 extra calories. Okay?

Shanna:
But Right. So let me tell you what

Laura:
all these things are. So one serving of nacho cheese Doritos, which, by the way, is a measly 12 chips. Like, I don’t. That’s one serving. What? Okay. If you ate that every day, it would only be 39,900 calories. Okay? If you ate a dozen Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnuts twice a month for your entire pregnancy, it would only be 43,320 calories. And if you really wanted to just be real extra about this extra 50,000 calories, you could go to The Cheesecake Factory and get that cinnamon swirl cheesecake, which has 1378 calories.

Laura:
You could get it once a week for 38 weeks for 52,000 calories. Oh, wow. Okay. And I should say, we don’t usually talk about calories and stuff on this show. So I I just wanna make sure everyone knows that, you can eat whatever the hell you want, and I do not give a crap. So, but if we’re talking about trying to visualize how much extra 50,000 calories are, that’s 38 servings of that cheesecake, and those are big slices. Yeah.

Shanna:
Well, that sounds like a delicious way to create a child, and I’m glad I’ve learned this.

Laura:
That child will be named Cinnamon and

Shanna:
Bonnie for short.

Laura:
Bonnie? That’s cute, actually. I think that’d be cute. So I will say that you don’t have to be pregnant to go get yourself a cinnamon cheesecake slice. I might just do that. There’s this Cheesecake Factory5 minutes for me. So but shout it. We don’t even have to do the last question because you’ve officially won this round. But I do think I wanna know what this final Disney related stump of the mom question is for me.

Shanna:
Alright, friend. Here we go. Disneyland’s first entertainment director, Tommy Walker, had many great ideas, including the iconic fireworks show. But which of his ideas was a massive failure? A, having park employees wear spooky costumes on Halloween, b, handing out candles to all visitors so they could participate in the first holiday candlelight processional? Or, c, flying the Easter Bunny Inn by helicopter on Easter Sunday to throw flowers down to the crowd?

Laura:
I’ve seen some hilarious helicopter Easter fails.

Shanna:
Oh, is that a thing?

Laura:
Apparently, this is a thing that country clubs will do. They’ll hire a helicopter to drop Easter eggs, and if the wind’s blowing the wrong direction, they go the wrong way. But I’m I I’m just not feeling like that’s a very Disney thing. I don’t know why. The candles, I I feel like the candles I don’t know I don’t know why. I I’m just I’m leaning towards the candles. So let’s go with candles. I’m gonna lose anyway, so I’ll just take my shot.

Laura:
B. Sorry, friend.

Shanna:
The answer was c. It was the Easter bunny 1.

Laura:
Oh, the one that I immediately pooh poohed and was like, that can’t be right.

Shanna:
Oh my gosh. For similar reasons though to what you mentioned about the country clubs, I had to include this because the visual of this experience when I was reading it is so freaking hilarious. Okay. So this guy, Tommy, had this idea to fly in the Easter bunny on Easter Sunday. The bunny would throw flowers down on the crowd and be amazing. And, apparently, Walt Disney was like, are you out of your mind? Like, that’s not a good idea. But then

Laura:
he was say Walt would never. Right? Like, wow.

Shanna:
Tommy did it behind his back. Walt had to go to New York for something. Yes. And so, Tommy’s like, we’re doing it anyway. And so, all these people come for this Easter Sunday experience. They’re all dressed in their Sunday best. This helicopter descends upon main street. There’s like a big 100 piece band playing, and the wind from the helicopter is more than he had anticipated.

Shanna:
And so it is blowing the trees. It’s breaking branches off trees on Main Street. The sheet music is flying everywhere. It’s so loud. You can’t even hear the rest of the band who is playing. It’s like blowing up women’s skirts. And then the Easter bunny doesn’t, I don’t know, know what’s going on down there, and so it’s continues on with what they were doing with the flowers. But the flowers, the orchids that the bunny was throwing down had been frozen to preserve them ahead of time for this event, but they hadn’t thawed out.

Shanna:
And so the bunny is throwing frozen orchids down on the crowd, and people are like, and they’re getting smacked with frozen flowers. And then when the helicopter leaves, it blows so much dust all over Main Street that the place basically looks like a tornado hit it when the helicopter flew away.

Laura:
So Walt fired him. I’m taking it.

Shanna:
Maybe. I don’t know. I didn’t look at Tommy’s CV to see what happened after that.

Laura:
I feel like Tommy disappeared. I feel like Walt Disney was like, you fuck with me.

Shanna:
Yeah. He was never heard from again.

Laura:
I wouldn’t put it past them. Oh my gosh. To go behind Walt Disney’s back on something like that. That is bold. Yeah. And, also, I do feel like karma comes to bite you in the ass sometimes. Wow.

Laura:
Wow. I had never heard that story. Is there a video of this or, I guess, film of this?

Shanna:
Oh, I don’t know. I should try to look some up because that would be just amazing.

Laura:
In the meantime, I will send you some of these helicopter Easter drop fails to satisfy your curiosity because they are they’re really funny.

Shanna:
Thank you. Please. I need helicopter fails in my life today. Thank you.

Laura:
But in the meantime, do you think it’s time to move on to our BFPs and BFNs?

Shanna:
Oh, yeah. Let’s do it.

Laura:
So we close every episode with a big fat positive or a big fat negative from the week. And, Shanna, I really, really wanna know. Do you have BFB or BFN?

Shanna:
I have a BFN. So as you know, my friend, I have been working from home for almost 6 years, and it’s been great and extremely helpful to do as a parent of young kids, and I’ve been very grateful.

Laura:
It’s something that predates the pandemic for you. Like, you asked to work from home when CeCe was born. Right?

Shanna:
Exactly. Yes. And so I got approved, and I’ve been working for the same company for all these years. And then we officially went remote because of the pandemic, yada yada. Well, we had a big reorg recently, and part of the information that we received during that is that my team now has to return to the office. It is hybrid. At least it’s only 3 days a week, but I am sad. I’m sad about that because it really throws a wrench in everything I’ve set up for my life to take care of my kids and work at the same time.

Shanna:
And they want us back within4 weeks. Like, the it’s not even a big turnaround time. So I am kind of panicking. I don’t know

Laura:
what to

Shanna:
do. Yeah. So that’s what I’ve been dealing with this week.

Laura:
Yeah. So, obviously, I knew about this because you panic texted me the minute it happened. It was like, oh my fucking god. And I was like, oh my fucking god. Then we were just you know, exclaiming back and forth to each other about how much it sucked. First of all, I’m so sorry. Like, that sucks so hard. 2nd of all have this I have a rant inside of me about how workplaces just continually make themselves unaccommodating for parents and especially for mothers.

Laura:
This change that happened it’s happening fairly quickly for you. They dropped it on you at the beginning of summer break Yep. Which is the worst time because it’s already hard to find childcare during summer break. You have to do some patchwork of camps. And then are they how late are they in camp? Some camps end at 12. Some camps end in the evening. Like, it’s just this whole thing.

Shanna:
Which I set up months ago.

Laura:
Yes. Exactly. So you were on top of it. You were like, I’m getting this done. And then they’re like, oh, never mind. You have to come up with something new or add things on, all this stuff. Yeah. But also just in general, summer notwithstanding having kids is so disruptive toa normal work schedule.

Laura:
I am I am absolutely in awe of parents who have really rigid work schedules and somehow make it work because it is freaking impossible. Your kids’ schools have random Tuesdays off for professional development, or there’s you know, early release days twice a month for whatever. There’s just constant things, not to mention your kids getting sick. And having to find a way to work around and through all that stuff is so difficult. And I’m so sorry that your office is, making that harder for you now because they’re making you come in and not be available for, you know CeCe has a cough at noon or whatever. It’s like, I’m all the way down across town at my office.

Shanna:
Yeah. And I don’t live close. I don’t live close to the office. Right? In traffic, it’s 45 minutes to an hour away. And, look, I know that a lot of people work in person. A lot of people have returned to office. And this isn’t just aa return to office after the coronavirus thing. Like, my team legitimately like, when the rest of the company was returning to office, my senior vice president at the time petitioned to keep our team remote because we have people all over the country, all over the world on this team.

Shanna:
It was a very diverse team, and we got approval for that. So my technical work status it has been remote, and they’re just taking that away, basically. So it just feels like a little bit of an extra in you know? Like, that’s not fun. And the people who did move away they’re being forced to move back or quit. So it’s just a lot of disruption, right now with my job and yeah. So a lot to think about and, try to figure out in the coming weeks.

Laura:
I’m so sorry. That’s such bullshit. And, yeah, I I have nothing else to say about that. Well, that’s not true. I have many, many things to say about that, but I will I will reserve them for now.

Shanna:
Alright. Well, I’m sure I’ll give updates as we roll along into this new phase of life. But in the meantime, I’d love to hear yours. What do you have for us this week? BFP or BFN?

Laura:
I do have

Shanna:
a BFP. Oh, good. Yay. What is it?

Laura:
My BFP is this 10 foot wading pool that my mom impulse bought at Costco for Huntsville.

Shanna:
That’s huge. The one we have is only8 feet.

Laura:
So it’s one of those seasonal items at Costco, and it was blown up to show you how amazing and wonderful it was. And my mom was like, we gotta get this for the boys. I was a little against it because I was like, that thing is gonna take forever to blow up. You know?

Shanna:
Oh, yeah. You need a pump to blow that up. Please tell me you used a pump.

Laura:
Oh, thank god. No. I’m not even talking about the air. Like, of course, I wouldn’t use my lungs to blow that up with the air, but I’m talking about the water. Like, it takes it turned out it took an hour to fill it up with water.

Shanna:
Oh, yeah. Yes. I have experience with above ground pools. So, yes, I can see that.

Laura:
And I was like, it’s gonna be freezing hose water. Like, I had all these excuses. And she’s like, I’m it’s like $40. I’m just gonna buy it. And it was very affordable. I actually don’t remember exactly how much it was, because every time she retells the story, it gets cheaper. Like I think it might have been $60 and then it became 50 and then 40. And then last time I heard her tell the story, she was like, oh, that was$20 at Costco.

Laura:
I’m like, that quite.

Shanna:
Oh my god. That’s hilarious. Okay. So we’ll say about $40. Yeah.

Laura:
And it is just plastic. But it is pretty. So it has a inflatable bench on one end for you to sit on. Good. And it’s pretty tall sides. And then it has this faux tile floor. And it’s so funny, when I first opened it up and started inflating it, Auggie saw it and he goes, it’s just like La Quinta, which is where we went.

Shanna:
Yes. That high end resort we went to. That’s exactly what this is.

Laura:
But despite all the downsides, one other downside is it basically kills the grass that’s underneath it. But you know what? Our grass is already pretty much dead. So who cares? Yeah. But I will say the upside is that this thing has basically been the sole entertainment for the kids and anyone who’s come over for a play date for the past 2 weekends that we’ve had it.

Shanna:
Nice.

Laura:
It is a major draw. The first weekend we had it, Auggie and Sebastian, I swear they spent the entire weekend in it. Like, from the time they woke up to the time it was time for naps or bed or whatever, they just were in it. And I just got to sit on the side and watch. And So great.

Shanna:
So great.

Laura:
Yeah. It was so great.

Shanna:
It’s shallow, I take it?

Laura:
It’s pretty shallow. I think it’s maybe up to my knees when it’s totally full, maybe a little less, but it’s great for them. And, yeah, it’s just it’s been it’s been a great babysitter. I that’s I don’t wanna say that because, obviously, I’m watching them anytime they’re around water. But it’s been a really fun activity for them. So, it’s just another example that sometimes you have to forget all the reasons why not to do something and just do it. And also, I will say the downside is it seems like it’s wasting a lot of water, but the way I’ve offset it is that I take buckets of the water when we’re done with it and water my plants with it.

Shanna:
So

Laura:
I figure it’s kind of a one to 1, and water the lawn with it. So it’s, you know and then I turn off those actual sprinklers for the next cycle. So I figure it’s kind of a wash there. No pun intended. Yeah.

Shanna:
You know what you could do too? You could get a water pump. That’s what we have for our pool, but we only empty it at the end of the season. But you put it in the water and attach a hose to it, then you could take the hose around to all your plants and stuff.

Laura:
Yeah. Oh, though, that’s true. That’s true. Yeah. I could do that.

Shanna:
Are you emptying it every day?

Laura:
Well, just on the weekends. We’re not running it every day. But we tried to keep it overnight, and it got too gross. And then we looked into pool chemicals to get for it and a skimmer and all this stuff. And I’m like, you know what? We are spending more money on accessories for this $20 pool

Shanna:
than Right.

Laura:
So, yeah, we are just filling it up as needed and, trying to recycle. But I am happy we have it, and, gotta thank grandma Susan for another good purchase.

Shanna:
Yeah. Well, I’m a little disappointed that she didn’t impulse buy the inflatable water slide that they also have there at Costco that I saw. It’s inflated hanging from the roof. I took a picture of it. I was like, Steve, I wanna get this. But it was400 bucks, but it looks so cool.

Laura:
It is very expensive. You there’s nowhere in your yard to put that in the front. Is that where you’d put it?

Shanna:
I don’t know. Maybe on the roof, maybe.

Laura:
I don’t know. Possibly go wrong.

Shanna:
It’s not practical, Laura.

Laura:
Yeah. No. Trust me. She looked at that, and I was like, I think that might be too much. Plus, apparently, Auggie’s little best friend, his mom told me that they bought one of those during the pandemic, but it’s not super safe in their backyard. So she’s like, we’re gonna bring it over this summer. I’m like, okay. Great.

Shanna:
Alright. Well, there you go.

Laura:
So I think we have one of those coming. But You need

Shanna:
a hookup.

Laura:
Cool. But, anyway, that is it for me, and I think that’s it for our show.

Shanna:
I think it is. This was a good one. Good game, friend of Stump the mom.

Laura:
Yeah. You’re saying that because you won.

Shanna:
It was not just a good game. It was a great game. It was a great game for me. It’s what it was.

Laura:
It was. It was.

Shanna:
Alright, listeners. Thank you so much for tuning in. Oh, and if you haven’t had a chance yet, go over to Apple Podcast and, leave us a 5 star review. Say a few things you love about this show, and we might read it on an upcoming episode. And if you have any comments or feedback on this week’s episode, if you know any inside scoop on Disney or pregnancy calories, reach out. We wanna hear from you. Laura, where can everyone find us?

Laura:
We are on TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook at bfp podcast. We have a website, bigfatpositivepodcast.com. And if you wanna send us an email or a voice memo, just send it to contact atbigfatpositivepodcast.com. Finally, if you wanna join the coolest group of people on the Internet and see some exclusive content from me and Shanna, just search Facebook for Big Fat Positive Community. It is a private group, so we need you to request to join and answer those 2 membership questions so we know you’re not a robot. But once you do that, you’ll be sent straight through to all the amazing, wonderful, supportive, insightful, hilarious conversations we’re having in there.

Shanna:
Our show is produced by Laura Birek, Shanae Micko, and Steve Yeager. Thank you so much for listening, everyone. Have a big fat positive week. Bye. Bye.