Handling Your Child’s Fear of the Dark – Ep. 293

Shanna

Hi, welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. On this week's episode, we have our weekly check-ins, where we talk about body boundaries, cooking with kids and more, and we wrap it up with our weekly BFPs and BFNs. Let's get started. Howdy, y'all. Welcome to episode 293. Hi, Laura. Hi, Shanna. How are you? Why don't you just dive right in and give us your check-in?

Laura

Yes, I think it's time for me to serve up my check-in. Oh. Unless you want to volley a question at me.

Shanna

Oh, I'm sensing a bit of a pun here, a bit of a play on words. Does this have to do with a sport that involves a racket and a net?

Laura

It sure does. It sure does. That sport is tennis. Cory's favorite sport, Cory's minor obsession, the sport he loves to play the most and the sport he loves to watch the most. And this check in is not about Cory. This has not turned into a spouse podcast, but it is indeed about the fact that my little five-year-old, Augie, has just taken his first tennis class this week.

Shanna

OMG, that must have been the cutest thing ever.

Laura

I wouldn't know because I didn't get to go. Oh, shucks. The unfortunate thing about this tennis class is that it's at the exact same time as Sebastian's swim class, so we have to divide and conquer. And Corey, you know, sometimes improves himself to be very stereotypically male. you know, very much on the like, I'm a dude bandwagon. And this is one of those times I was like, let me see the pictures you took during class. He's like, oh, I didn't really take any here. I took one. And I was like, are you kidding? His very first tennis class, like you took one picture. I'm going to send you the one picture he took.

Shanna

Oh, please let it be a good one. Please let it be a gem. OK, let's see.

Laura

I think so. This is why I was like, take more pictures. To his credit, Corey was like, I didn't want to intimidate him. I didn't want to distract him. And he said he did really, really well in class and really liked it. And what was really cool is that like after Sebastian's swim class, I'm like texting. I'm like, ah, how was class? You know, how was tennis? Is he liking it? And Corey was like, actually, he wanted to stick around and play more tennis. So do you guys want to come to the park and meet us? And so we packed up and drove to the park to meet them. And we spent, I want to say, another like 45 minutes playing tennis on the court with the boys. I sent you a video of Sebastian trying to play some tennis. Oh my gosh, okay, let's see.

Shanna

But he is so cute. That racket is about half his body size, but he's wielding it pretty well.

Laura

Yeah, I have to say for a not yet three-year-old, he's doing pretty well. He was kind of jealous. He was like, I take tennis? I take tennis? And we're like, oh, honey, you have to be five to take tennis classes, at least in this program. And we've never found one that started at four because, trust me, Cory's been looking. And Augie is like a week past five, right? And we're like, yes, we can sign him up. But yeah, he was doing pretty good for a little almost three-year-old. But yeah, Augie seems to really like it. And I think Cory's trying to Not put too much pressure on him, but secretly would absolutely love if tennis was something that he liked and wanted to pursue and just enjoyed playing so sure. Yeah, so that was a big milestone in our house.

Shanna

That's so exciting. And obviously I get where Corey's coming from because I signed my girls up for softball as soon as I could because I played softball as a youngster. So it's like, I get that. It's like, you hope they have the love for the sport that you love too. I get it.

Laura

And I mean, I used to play tennis too. I think I've talked about it on the show. Right. And I haven't for years because of my wrists, but I enjoy it. Like I enjoy it as a sport as well. So maybe we'll become a tennis playing family. Oh, how cute. But yeah, that's basically my check-in for this week. I feel like we have this lull between Augie's birthday and Sebastian's birthday where, you know, we're trying to keep it chill a little bit. So this week was just about keeping it chill.

Shanna

Nice, I love those kinds of weeks.

Laura

All right, I'm gonna lob this one back to you, Shanna.

Shanna

All right, all right, I will insert tennis pun here, your lob. Okay, so this week has been a pretty chill week for us too, but something interesting has been going on with CeCe recently. She's been doing great with sleeping for quite a while now, but recently she woke up in the middle of the night because she heard something outside, like a car or a car alarm or something. I wasn't 100% clear on it, but it startled her and scared her. And as a result, made her afraid of the dark. I don't know, I think she like looked out her window in the middle of the night to see what the sound was and couldn't tell and it was dark. And she, it's just fueled this fear of the dark that she hasn't had before. And so now when we put her to bed, she doesn't want us to turn off the light.

Laura

Yeah.

Shanna

And then took one of her dark blue sweatshirts and shimmied it over the lampshade. And you can still get some light, but it's still really dim in there. And that was the solution for like that night. and she has been hooked on it all week. She will not let me turn the light off when I put her to bed. She makes me go and put this particular sweatshirt on and I have to put it on the right way. I put it on the other day. She's like, no, pull it down more. And like I had to pull it down the correct way around the edges. And then she's like, no, that's too much light. And so I had to adjust the top to get the light. So it's a whole thing. But yeah, she's just needing more comfort at bedtime these days.

Laura

Well, you know, Augie's been sleeping with the light on for at least a year, I want to say. Really? All night long? Yeah. At first, I was also like, oh, this is going to ruin his sleep, but it has been fine. What we do is we actually use that egg light that I bought when he was like a baby for nursing.

Shanna

Yeah.

Laura

The one that supposedly doesn't like emit any blue light. I have no idea if that's true. And but the nice thing about it is that it dims and it dims really, really dim. So usually what we do is we negotiate like what brightness is acceptable right before bed. And when he's asleep, like right before I go to bed, I usually will go in and turn it all the way down. So it's just super, super low. But yeah, I feel you because I'm like, oh, sleep hygiene is so important and light is bad and blah, blah, blah. But I mean, there's a reason why it's such a thing that kids have nightlights, right?

Shanna

Yes.

Laura

It's a natural fear, I suppose.

Shanna

Yes. And you know, the other reason I'm hesitant about her sleeping with the light on all night is that occasionally she does still come and get me in the middle of the night, the bad dream or whatever. And she'll be like, mama, you come snuggle with me. And I go into her room and her bed. And, you know, I lie with her for a little while. And I'm just like, I can't go lie in a room with a full on light on. Oh, no, no. It's like we've got to have that happy medium. What is the nightlight thing that you use? What's it called? Because maybe if I get her something like that, I can stop putting her sweatshirt over the lamp.

Laura

Yes, and it's actually you can cycle through different colors like the whole spectrum. So you can like pause it on whatever color you like. So that's something you could do too. It's so okay. So the original one I got was called the Vava lamp VA VA. Something went down on Amazon and Vava like Amazon and Vava had a falling out and Vava had to pull things off their site. Hot goss. Okay. So I don't remember exactly why, but I remember at some point I was updating our website and I noticed that the link to that particular light was broken and I was super bummed because it's like my favorite thing and then I realized that like the exact same thing is just being sold under a different name. So now it's being sold by the name Jollywell J-O-L-Y-W-E-L-L.

Shanna

Okay, that's smart. That's smart. Yeah, it bothers me that I have to get up out of bed. This is such a minor complaint, Laura. But I have to get up out of bed to adjust the sweatshirt on the lamp after we've done our reading and I'm snuggling with her and she's all cozyed up next to me. Usually, I just ask Alexa to turn off the light. That's that. But now I'm like, Do you want me to turn off the light? She's like, no, go cover it. So I have to get up. You know, it's, it's really, I don't even know why I'm complaining about this.

Laura

You know, I feel her though, because I was definitely one of those kids who was super afraid of the dark growing up. I needed to have some kind of light on. So, you know, I just remember the visceral fear like that monsters or ghosts or something was we're going to come get me. Like I really needed that light. So I think it's really nice that you are setting aside your concerns about sleep hygiene and your worries about the middle of the night. Wake ups and letting her feel safe.

Shanna

Aw, thank you. Yeah, I don't want her to feel scared at all. The other cute thing that she does for comfort is completely surround herself with stuffed animals. We call them buddies. She has so many buddies. I don't know how many stuffed animals your kids sleep with, but I want to say she's got about 20 in her bed that each have a name. Most of them are some form of a cat or a kitty because she loves kitties more than anything in the world. cracks me up when she goes to bed. She's just like piled with these stuffed animals of all shapes and sizes.

Laura

Neither of my kids are super attached to stuffed animals. But for Aki, we actually like worked hard to get him attached to at least one stuffed animal because we wanted him to have something comforting at night because he was having a lot of trouble. Like when he was around three, I feel like he was having a lot of trouble being scared in his room. And I thought like, oh, that would be comforting. And the one that he kind of latched on to was this bear. Maybe I've talked about it on the show. We call him Hudson because he comes from the Hudson Bay Company in Canada. Our Canadian listeners are going to be like woo woo. And I actually got my cousin to buy a second Hudson at some point and like mail it to me from Toronto because I was worried that this one was going to get lost. And honestly, we've had to revert to the backup Hudson twice. Oh smart.

Shanna

So he knows about Second Hudson.

Laura

I guess he does. I didn't realize. I must have told him at some point. I don't know when or how, but he was like, yeah, the other Hudson. And I was like, okay. I guess that jig is up.

Shanna

I guess so. That's really sweet that he offered to give it to his brother.

Laura

I know, but I was like, I can't. Because if you're both attached to the same one, it's like out of stock now and you can't get it anymore. I was like, no, he's got to pick something preferably like cheap and reproducible to get attached to.

Shanna

Very smart. The other day we were looking at all her stuffed animals before bad and one of them is a hand crocheted mermaid that Aunt Leslie got for her, that a friend of hers made. And she got really curious, like who made all my buddies, who made these? And I was like, well Leslie's friend made this one for you. And I think in her mind, like someone handmade all of these buddies for her. And I had to explain to her, well, no, no, like they're made and by big companies and like big factories and people sew them and put them together. And she's looking at all the seams and looking at the tags. And I was like, see, this one here was made by a company called Ty. And that's who made this buddy. And then she became so curious about who made every single one of her buddies. And we spent like 10 minutes as she looked at every tag of every stuffed animal. She's like, who made this one?

Laura

Yes, the tag phase, the tag obsession.

Shanna

I was like, I never thought that my kids would ever be obsessed with tags ever again. But here we are five years later and she's like looking at all the tags and It just was a full circle moment. Just like the board books. Yes. Oh man, she's really been coming full circle lately.

Laura

Yes, we should.

Shanna

Aw, same, friend, same.

Laura

So tell me specifically, how were you awesome in a mom win?

Shanna

Okay, I've talked before on the show about how homework time with Elle has become a shit show. I mean, it always has. Just in general, giving pages of homework to young kids. I just, ugh, whatever. I have my own feelings about it, but that's what our school does. And we support the teachers and, you know, try to get her to stick with it. And I'm sure it's also solidifying things she's learning in class. So it's good. But this year in particular, getting her to focus on doing this homework and completing it has been a huge challenge. It will take sometimes up to two hours to get her to do the homework. She'll need someone sitting right next to her, or it just doesn't get done and she doesn't turn in the pocket. And then the teacher's like, hey, you know, she hasn't turned in the packet.

Laura

we've been told right with all from all these parenting resources and books and stuff about like oh they need intrinsic motivation you know we've got to praise the effort and not the results and all this stuff and because of that we're so afraid of anything that's like external motivation for them like I know I am like oh my gosh but is this going to ruin their internal motivation but it's like I need external motivation to get any shit done like whatsoever like how come I hold myself to a completely different standard than my kids. I also feel your trepidation on this because taking away TV also punishes you. Every time we've gotten to the point where we're so exasperated with Augie and we're like, if you don't do this, no more TV, I'm just thinking like, no, no, no, no, no, because that's my chance to do things.

Shanna

Yes.

Laura

Yeah, for sure.

Shanna

Oh, it's great. Yeah. So fingers crossed, toes crossed, everything crossed that this continues to work well for us. This is very new. It's just this first week, they're back from school after the holiday break, you know, and so I'm just hoping it all continues.

Laura

Well, definitely keep us posted because I'm feeling like this type of thing might be in my future, maybe my near future with Augie. So I want to know how it works.

Shanna

Okay, okay, I will. All right, what is your first mom win?

Laura

Okay, my mom win starts with a mom fail. Okay. Do you remember, gosh, it's been a long time, but do you remember the saga of the matching umbrellas? Oh, this Umbrella Gate 2022.

Shanna

Umbrella Gate, yeah.

Laura

where I like ordered umbrella for Augie thinking that my like one and a half year old or whatever however old Sebastian was did not need his own umbrella. And then I was sorely mistaken because the jealousy was so strong. So I thankfully was able to overnight a matching umbrella for Sebastian. So, since then, the umbrellas, the matching umbrellas have been a huge hit. They love them. They all, anytime it's sprinkling, we have to get the umbrellas out, right? And they're super cute. I'm gonna, here, I'm gonna send you a picture of this particular day, actually, that I'm gonna be talking about. It was drizzling, I'd say. Not fully raining, but this was the get up.

Shanna

Let's see. Oh, how cute. Yellow rain jacket, blue and a green umbrella with trucks and vehicles on it. So cute.

Laura

Very coveted. You know, I even said like it's not really raining that much. Maybe we don't need the umbrella today. No, we need umbrella. Right. Everyone has to have the umbrella. So on this particular day, I took both the kids to school. Sometimes Corey and I will split it up because Augie school starts at 810 and Sebastian starts at 830 and they're only like five minutes apart. So like it's kind of awkward sometimes to take both of them. But on this day, I was doing both of them. So they of course both wanted the rain jackets, both wanted their umbrellas. And Augie is not currently OK with getting dropped off in the carpool line at his school. Oh, OK. For whatever reason, he wants us to walk him in every day. And we have indulged this because, you know, we were trying to get him used to TK and trying to get him used to this new school.

Shanna

Right.

Laura

But Sebastian, he was like, my umbrella, my umbrella. I was like, ah, shit. OK, so he gets the umbrella. We slowly make our way into Augie's school and drop him off, and all goes well. And I actually snapped the photo that you saw on the way back, on the walk back to the car, because we had some time to kill, right? So I let him jump in puddles and play around and open his umbrella, even though it wasn't really raining. So we get back to the car. And as I'm putting him back in his car seat, his boot falls off, his rain boot. And he's like, my boot, my boot. So I'm like, okay. So I'm like, so I'm like futzing with his boots, trying to get it off of like the curb and like find the other one and trying to buckle him in. And it's, you know, he's damp. I take his rain jacket off. He doesn't want his rain jacket off. It's this whole thing.

Shanna

Where was it?

Laura

It must have fallen onto the sidewalk because if it had fallen in the street, it would have been run over. And also there's one of those huge storm drains right where we parked. So I was like, if it fell in the gutter, it would have gotten washed into the giant storm drain. So some Good Samaritan found it, opened it up to dry it out and like propped it up against a building so that it would be like out of the way. And it must have been there all day. And so we picked up Augie. And as we're driving, he's like, why are we turning? Because he's like very conscious of directions right now. He's like, that's not the way. I'm like, no, no, we got to get Sebastian's umbrella. I pull over. I'm like, Corey, jump out. Like Corey jumps out and grabs the umbrella and everyone cheered. And I was like, the umbrella's back. And the bonus is that I get to return the other one when it arrives.

Shanna

Oh, true. I'm glad he's not like, oh, but I still want the space one. He has forgotten about it.

Laura

But yes. So that is my first mom win. I mean, technically, I didn't really do anything. Technically, I just failed and some nice person saved it for me. But I felt like I did the win because I noticed it, you know, and was able to go back and get it.

Shanna

Yeah, your eagle eyes spotted it. So good job. Good job, mommy. Save the day.

Laura

Thank you. Thank you.

Shanna

All right, Shanna, do you have another one for us? I do. And this is another one from this week. Oh, it's been a good week for Shanna. Oh, yeah. Hashtag winning. Woo. The other day CECE was watching videos with grandma on grandma's phone. I think they were watching videos about painting techniques or something like that. And I came in it was around five o'clock or so I came into the room and I noticed that Cece was holding grandma's phone, but kind of like her eyes were heavy. She was kind of like looking at the video, but like the phone was starting to tip out of her hand. She was getting tired watching, you know? And me and my sleep hygiene, I'm like, no, no, no. Cece doesn't take a nap at 5 p.m. because I don't mess up bed time, you know? So I immediately was like, Hey, CECE, do you want to help me make dinner? Just trying to do something to kind of perk up her energy. I don't know.

Laura

Like she's been waiting her whole life to hear this?

Shanna

Yes, and I just didn't know. And I've never had her help me make dinner or any meals before. Like we've done like some baking here and there, but it's not anything that I ever thought of. Usually they watch TV while I cook and I just didn't think that she was interested. But this was really a technique to get her to wake up and not fall asleep. but it ended up being a real surprise mom win because she loved it. I don't think I've ever seen her so happy and so engaged in doing something with me that wasn't like, you know, playing a pretend game, like doing an adult thing, you know? So we go into the kitchen and I'm like, well, you know, if you're gonna be the helper, you get to pick what you want for dinner or what do you want? And she picked spaghetti and meatballs with rainbow carrots that we were going to boil. So she got to learn how to peel carrots with the peeler and she loved it.

Laura

It's truly how do we continuously make three meals a day for the whole family? I don't know either.

Shanna

I don't know. I was like, because I love you, honey. And I love L and I want to take care of you. Like it's driven by love. So she accepted that answer. And the one perilous part was when she was helping me cut the carrots. She really wanted to help with that. And I gave her like the big slicing knife. And I was trying to guide her hand. And she was doing good at first. But then she got impatient and just kind of started slamming it. And I was like, trying to hold the carrot and this like big blade was coming down. I was like, okay, mama's learning as we go. Like what CECE can and can't do and what she can control herself with. But I didn't lose any fingers. And she helped me plate the meals. She helped put the cheese. I mean, everything from beginning to end. And after it was all done, she was like, can I help you every night?

Laura

Wow. That's amazing. I know. For you, is it more difficult? Like, I know it's like a lovely bonding time, but like, I know when my kids want to help me in the kitchen, I have to take like a deep breath and be like, yes. Yes, you can because it's like, OK, there's like an extra level of monitoring that needs to happen. You know, I'm already like multitasking, trying to get everything done. And then I'm like, OK, let's make sure they don't cut any fingers off or throw anything on the ground or

Shanna

I was super worried about that. Like when she agreed to help make dinner, there was definitely something inside of me that was like, oh, God, why did I offer that? So I had that thought. But once we got into the kitchen, Cece was like an eager student. And she took to my every instruction. She was curious about what to do. And I went into like mama teacher mode. And it really actually was wonderful. Like I was actually teaching her stuff about making dinner. And she was absorbing it. And it wasn't the kind of chaotic, impulsive kid mom trying to make stuff. thing that I thought it would be, because I've been there before. But this was different. I don't know. It felt so nice to like teach her how to do this stuff.

Laura

I love that. I really aspire to this because I have so many great memories of helping my mom cook and bake in the kitchen. And I really want my kids to do that, especially because they're boys. Like I really want them to know how to cook for themselves and others, you know? At this point, the tricky part is that Augie is so picky with his food that there's such a limited thing. But maybe I should start having him load up the air fryer with his dino nuggets and stuff like that.

Shanna

Yeah, he could do things like that with the foods that he does like for sure.

Laura

Yeah, you're inspiring me, Shanna.

Shanna

Oh, that's so great. On Wednesday night, I was like doing chores around the kitchen with dishes and stuff. And Steve was in there. I was like, oh, Steve, could you make dinner tonight? And he's like, yeah, sure. So he starts making the kids dinner and Cici comes in. She's like, what? Am I going to help? And I was like, oh, yeah, daddy's making dinner tonight. You can help him. And she was like, no. I want mama. I want to help mama. And I was like, oh, but you can help daddy. And she got upset about it. And Steve was like, maybe making dinner is a bonding time with mama. And it's less about the dinner and more about spending time with mama. And I was like, interesting. Oh. Interesting. I was like, okay, yeah, I'll stop doing the chores and I'll make dinner with you. And we did it and it was wonderful again. So it's been a nice bonding experience too. And it just warms my heart. I love it.

Laura

Okay, so this is something that happened with Augie recently at bedtime. We were reading the book Miles is the Boss of His Body. Have I talked about that book? No. I really like the book. It was recommended to me from a fellow mom at some point for a book that's really good about body autonomy and consent. It's a book about a little boy named Miles and it's his birthday and everyone in his family wants to celebrate his birthday with him. You know his big brother gives him a noogie and his grandma gives him a big hug. I can't remember all the deals I've read it about five thousand times. You think I could have this thing completely But everyone in his family basically gives him affection That's like too much for him. He doesn't like it and in the end he kind of blows up and says like everyone stop I'm the boss my body and I say what goes and I tell like I can and I can say who

Shanna

Aw, that's amazing. That's a really great mom win. Is he the kind of kid that loves hugs and kisses and stuff like that? Or have you had to kind of restrain yourself with some of that kind of affection?

Laura

From me, he's like non-stop. He's like, mama, I want to kiss you. And you're like, I will kiss him all over his face. And he'll be like more and more. So like, yeah, he's very cuddly and touchy-feely. Um, he rarely tells me to stop. In fact, usually it's like, no, don't stop, you know, and I'll have to say, you know what? My body's telling me it's time to stop or I will model it for him. Like, he'll get really cuddly and he'll just get extra touchy-feely and I'll be like, you know what? I'm ready for some space. You know, mommy wants some space. It's my body, my choice. And, you know, it's just nice to feel like you're doing something right.

Shanna

Yes, absolutely. And that is an important thing to get right. What a great lesson for him. I love that.

Laura

Also, I feel like you do these things, you practice these big concepts over and over and over, and you never know if they're sinking in. So to get some verbal confirmation is huge for me. Yes, absolutely.

Shanna

That's so sweet.

Laura

Yeah, I thought so too. It definitely warmed my heart. And also, we'll link to the book in our show notes so that people can find it because it's a good book.

Shanna

Yeah, that sounds great. Well, yay. I'm so glad that we've had some mom wins in our life recently and we had a chance to celebrate them. A round of applause for you, Laura and myself. Yay, you too, you too. Thank you. But now I do believe it's time to move on to our BFPs and BFNs. Sure is.

Laura

I have a BFP.

Shanna

Okay, what is it? What is it?

Laura

Okay, so this is a product that I've known about for a while, but did not know about it in a parenting context. We took the boys to Costco for a family Costco trip the other day and as we were carting them around the store, Augie spotted something and was like, what is that? And I looked over and it was a bulk box of scrub daddy sponges. Okay, are you familiar with the scrub daddy?

Shanna

I am. It's like a big round sponge with eyes, nose, and a mouth, and it's kind of a rough texture, right?

Laura

Yeah. It was like a shark tank thing, I think. It's become a huge brand. It's made out of some kind of plastic that like gets soft in warm water and hard in cold water. And people swear by it is like the best sponge, right? People love their scrub daddies. And the eyes and the mouth that it has are like meant to scrub spoons like large spatulas. And, you know, like it's it's supposed to be for a purpose. But anyway, ah, gotcha. OK. And they're cute, right? They're brightly colored. And Augie saw this and he was like, I want it. And at first I was like, no, we don't need eight scrub daddies, you know? But then I was like, you know what? It's not that expensive. Why the hell not? Let's get them some scrub daddies. I could use some scrub daddies and then they could each have a scrub daddy as a bath toy. Because Corey was like, what is the point of this? I was like, bath toy.

Shanna

It does look like blood shooting out of its eyes. Well, it looks like water shooting it out of its eyes. But yes, it does look like streams of water coming out of the eye sockets.

Laura

They had so much fun with these freaking things. I mean, it was just such a little thing that brought them so much joy. I'm always reminded that like, you don't need to buy the expensive toys, you know? Sometimes the bulk sponges from Costco are all you need to get them interested in the bath again. So yeah, that is my BFP. Get your kids some scrub daddies. And not only are they entertained, but they also do a little cleaning for you.

Shanna

Do they get soft enough to wash their bodies or no?

Laura

It's pretty scratchy. It does get pretty soft. Like, I actually kind of used it to try to get under Augie's fingernails that had a bunch of dirt in them. It didn't work that great. It wasn't so rough that, like, if I pretended to scrub them, they would get raw or anything, but I wouldn't recommend using it as a washcloth, no.

Shanna

Gotcha. All right, well, I think there's a market for Scrub Daddy to venture into the youth sponges category.

Laura

Totally.

Shanna

Yes, there is. Fun, fun, fun.

Laura

But anyway, that is my BFP. Shanna, I'm curious, do you have a BFP or a BFN for us?

Shanna

I have a BFN. I always have my sad trombone for BFNs.

Laura

Yeah. All right, let's hear it.

Shanna

I'm so behind on planning Elle's birthday party. I feel like maybe I did this last year too, but just after the slog of the holidays, I've got the birthday, the holidays, and just everything. Elle's birthday, I forget about it. You know, on the stage, you feel like you need a plan for a party about a month in advance. And I just, I'm, it's like two weeks out at this point. And I, I don't know. I don't know what to do.

Laura

But I thought you were going to Disneyland for her birthday.

Shanna

Well, we're going on her birthday, but it was essentially a Christmas present. So I don't want that.

Laura

You don't want a double dip.

Shanna

Yeah. And I want her to have the opportunity to get together with friends and have a party and stuff. So I am just lost. I don't know. I don't know what to do. And that's all. That's all that is. That's all my BFN is really.

Laura

Did you ask her what she wants to do?

Shanna

Yeah, and she said that she wants to go to Menchies, which is the frozen yogurt shop near us. Okay. At first I was like, oh, that's great because that is like you rent the room for free and it's it'll be low cost and everything. And I'm really hung up on this because beyond eating Froyo, there's not much else to do at Menchies. Like what are a bunch of girls from her second grade class gonna do at Menchies? I just can't wrap my head around it. And then I'm like, if they eat Froyo, then do I also serve cake? And it's just kind of a confusing situation. So I haven't gone forward on that yet. I'm trying to think of other things to do instead.

Laura

Because in my mind, I was like, oh, bring a like craft project like friendship bracelets or something. But just because I'm obsessed with crafts.

Shanna

Yes. Yes. I think Elle might have a little more energy in her body than wanting to sit and make a bracelet. But I don't know. Yeah, maybe maybe something crafty.

Laura

Or, you know, what are those trampoline parks for? If not for last minute birthday parties? Yeah.

Shanna

Yes, yes, girlfriend does have the jumping energy, so maybe I'll look into something like that.

Laura

I just found out by walking around my neighborhood that there's apparently one of those trampoline places, like a block from me.

Shanna

Oh, really?

Laura

But it's only for private parties. Like, they don't have open hours.

Shanna

Oh.

Laura

And it's so expensive, Sean. I looked it up because I was like, I wonder what it would cost. And like, no. But I'm so curious about it because I was like, man, what a game changer would be if there was a trampoline place, a block from our house to be able to just like take Oggy to blow off some steam.

Shanna

Wow. Well, maybe you can make friends with the owners and, you know, get a little inside jumping action. That's too bad because there is one nearish to us over in Van Nuys and they do have open hours. I mean, it's probably like 30 bucks or something to jump, but yeah.

Laura

Yeah. But I still haven't taken Augie to one of those because I'm a little afraid he's going to injure himself, but.

Shanna

Yes. I think that's very likely at those places. Yeah.

Laura

Listen, I feel you on the gauntlet of the holidays and then birthdays. You got birthday, then Christmas, then birthday again. I've got Christmas, birthday, birthday. It's just relentless. So I understand the being behind on it.

Shanna

Yeah. I just hope it's not going to be too late when I send out invitations that people can actually come and stuff. But I'm trying not to worry too much about it. Whatever will be will be. And if all this feels, we are going to Disneyland on a birthday, right? So it will be okay. It will be okay, Shanna.

Laura

It will be okay. You don't have to be too extra. All right.

Shanna

All right. Well, I think that's it for me and that's it for our show. Unless you have a five star review to read.

Laura

I sure do. This one is from someone who goes by Kristen. There's a million K's in front of the name Kristen. This is from Apple Podcast in Canada. Hello to our Canadian friends. The title is Parenting Besties, Five Stars. I started listening to the show when I was pregnant with my first, which lined up with Laura and Shada being pregnant with Augie and Cece. Since then, I've been listening religiously every week through my second pregnancy that mirrored Laura's. This podcast helped me through the isolation of COVID and the many lonely days at home on a very long and amazing Canadian maternity leave. It's the perfect combo of listening to relatable besties venting about the struggles and well-informed parenting strategies and suggestions. I've listened to the other, quote, big parenting accounts, and this is by far the best combination of fun, relatable, and informative.

Shanna

Thank you, Kristen. I love that you find us to be a combination of relatable and informative, because that's what we're going for, so yay! Yes, thank you so much. Listeners, if you haven't had a chance yet to leave us a five-star review, could you please do us a favor and head on over to Apple Podcasts, leave five stars, say a few things you love about the show, and we might read it on an upcoming episode. If you have any mom wins that you want to share with us, you know we would love to hear them. Laura, where can everyone find us?

Laura

We are on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook at BFP Podcast. We have a website, BigBatPositivePodcast.com. If you want to send us an email, you can always throw a voice memo in there. We love those. Just send it to contact at BigBatPositivePodcast.com. And finally, if you want to see some exclusive content from me and Shanna and join the coolest group of people on the internet, just search Facebook for Big Fat Positive Community. It's a private group, so you have to request to join and answer the two membership questions so we know you're not a robot. But once you do that, you'll be sent straight through to all the amazing, wonderful, and supportive conversations we're having in there.

Shanna

Our show is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thanks for listening, everyone. Have a Big Fat Positive Week. Bye. Bye.