Unleashing Your Inner Mama Bear – Ep. 291

Shanna

Hi, welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. On this week's episode, we have our weekly check-ins, we have our special segment, OMG I'm Freaking Out, where we get into the topics of fairness, be-lines, favoritism, and more, and we wrap it up with our weekly BFPs and BFNs. Let's get started.

Laura

OK, so this is one of those weeks where it's always weird for us to talk about because we know that by the time this episode comes out, you guys are all going to have completely forgotten that this week existed, this week being the week between Christmas and New Year's.

Shanna

Yes, we all block it out from our memories.

Laura

Exactly. It's inclusive of Christmas. So I'm going to be talking a little bit about my Christmas. But I know all of you are in January being like, Chris, what? My apologies. But I am going to talk about it in the context of parenting. And basically what I wanted to talk about about this year's Christmas was how I feel so much better about it than I did last year.

Shanna

What was wrong last year? I forgot.

Laura

Well, basically, I felt so burnt out slash neglected after last year's Christmas. I suffer from the very common mom. Disorder of doing everything for Christmas like I got all the presents and I did all the activities and I you know I did I did everything to make it magical for my kids and Then I did not feel like anyone tried to make it magical for me last year And I was upset about it. And at the end of Christmas last year, I told Corey, I was like, you know, I did so much for this family. And next year, I need you to step up and do more. Like I realized I didn't tell you. I just assumed that you understood that it would be important to me for all this stuff to happen. Like I wanted you to fill my stocking and I wanted you to get me like even more of a gift. Like I just wanted to kind of be pampered too. And he hurt me. He was like, oh, OK, like I think he really did not know.

Shanna

Wait, did you fill his stocking?

Laura

Oh yeah, yeah.

Shanna

Wait, so the only empty stocking was yours?

Laura

Oh, it wasn't empty because I filled my own stocking last year. I put sunglasses and lotto scratchers and a few other things in my own stocking. Oh, honey, that's, yeah, that's sad.

Shanna

Okay. Okay. So we went up from there.

Laura

That's good. We went up from there and I told him and he was like, oh, okay. You know, like I legitimately think it was not on his radar.

Shanna

He thought Santa filled your stocking, didn't he? He's like, Santa did it.

Laura

You know what he thought? He thought kids got their stockings filled. You know what I mean? Like, I don't think he anticipated having his stocking filled either. You know, he just sort of thought like, oh, it's for the kids. We kind of, you know, he got me a present or two, but nothing like super meaningful. It was it was one of those like, oh, you know, the adults are the afterthought. It's really about the kids. But I was like, I don't want to be an afterthought. I'm putting all this effort in. I don't want to be an afterthought. And to his credit, he really switched it up this year. I also brought it up after Thanksgiving. I was like, hey, so Thanksgiving's done. Remember? how I said last year I want like to be thought of more for Christmas and I don't want to do everything myself. And he was like, oh, yeah, uh-huh. Okay, cool.

Shanna

Awesome. Well, I have to commend you for speaking up and putting out there what you want because it's not always easy to bring that stuff up because it could feel like a criticism.

Laura

Oh, 100%. I was very nervous about bringing it up, which it's so funny to get in the spiral where it's like, I want to bring something up with my spouse, but I'm nervous about it because I don't want to hurt their feelings. And then I feel guilty for feeling nervous about it because I shouldn't feel nervous about bringing things up with my spouse. And it's like this spiral. And then like when I finally bring something up, he's like, okay.

Shanna

Oh, the mental energy we expend on stuff like that. I know. Oh, well, that's great. Okay. So that was a great reaction he had. I love it.

Laura

Yeah. And I have to say that I left this Christmas feeling so much better because I think it was too pronged. It was one that I like expressed my needs, you know, and told Corey that I needed help and also like specifically what I wanted for Christmas, what I wanted like a color printer and a new face, which is like one of those little like face zapping devices that I have no idea if it works. But I wanted that. And he was like, OK, done and done. And he like did the research and picked a good printer without me having to do the research like stuff like that. That's the gift, right? It's like not having to research all the fucking printers like he did it for me. That was the gift. You know, I knew it was a printer, but I didn't have to look into like the five thousand models of inkjet printers that exist. Merry Christmas to me.

Shanna

Yeah, that is key. And what's really key is that now you can pass that knowledge on to me because I also want a color printer.

Laura

I'll just send you a picture of the one he got me. So far, so good. I haven't done that much on it. But anyway, and then the other thing that I feel like I nailed this year is I started getting the kids their gifts so early this year. Any time I saw something that the kids might like, I jumped on it. I'm talking about starting in August, Shanna. Whoa. OK. Augie really wanted this ninja costume from Costco. But of course, we have a million costumes that I didn't want to buy another one. But I was like, ooh, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to text Santa a picture of this costume and see if Santa wants to bring it for you. And then went back later that week and actually got it. I actually followed through on that. And I just picked up all these random things over the last three months. And so a couple of weeks before Christmas, Corey was like, oh, so what should we get the kids?

Shanna

Wow. How in this green earth did you keep track of all this shit you bought for three months? Because I bought the girls a few things like a month or two in advance when there was a big sale. I shoved it in the garage, completely forgot about it, could not keep track of where things were, what I got, and I ended up over buying in the end anyway. So is that how you managed it?

Laura

I have done that in the past. No, this year I also was on top of that because I remembered from the previous year, like finding stuff in the basement that I had forgotten to give the boys. So this year I used an app that I use for like my daily to-do lists called to-doist, T-O-D-O-I-S-T. And I created like a separate category for Christmas. Here, I'm just gonna send you a screenshot.

Shanna

All right, here's a screenshot of your list. It's titled Christmas 2023. First bullet point, ninja costume, black bin in attic, Augie. Wow. Second bullet point, digger toy, black bin in attic, Sebastian. Oh my God. And then there's just like all these different bullet points of toys, Play Doh, Pesas Pusher, bongos. Girl, this is so organized. I, my mind is blown.

Laura

Thank you. That's like all I've ever wanted to hear in my entire life is someone calling me organized.

Shanna

Right on.

Laura

All it takes is being honest with your feelings and starting in August. Okay.

Shanna

An easy feat. Yes. Yes. Yeah.

Laura

All right, Shanna. So I guess I want to hear what your Christmas was like this year. Last year you had COVID and I think it was kind of a bummer of a Christmas. I'm hoping it's a little better of a check in this year.

Shanna

Yes, yes, yes, yes. I was not sick this year. Yay! Yay! Steve had returned from the hospital and he was feeling a lot better. Elle recovered from strep throat right away because we got her on antibiotic stat. The only people that were sick were Nana Pop Pop. They drove out, came over with masks on to deliver presents, went to a hotel and that's like all we saw them. It was, that part was really shun. I know. Did they have COVID? No, no, they didn't. It was something else, one of like this big coughing thing was really going around this winter. And they just didn't want us to get sick at all, which I super appreciate. So they wore masks and gave us space, but I got to see them for a little bit. But speaking of setting an intention for the holiday, I did that too this year. A little bit earlier on in the season, I was just like, this is my season of doing less.

Laura

That is the check and I want to hear. Yeah.

Shanna

But Laura, I have to tell you about the supreme gift that I got for the kids this year because I think you will be proud of me.

Laura

The supreme gift? Okay, I'm guessing it's not a Costco Ninja costume.

Shanna

It is not. It was the most boring looking gift under the tree. I made my kids open it last. It was a very small gift bag. And they were dying to know why they couldn't open that yet. Like, can we please open it? Could we please open it? I'm like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I made them open it last. So they finally got to him and L opened up the gift bag and took out an envelope and was like, oh, how boring. And I'm like, I'm sorry, just open the envelope. And there were like six envelopes. And the first one, they opened up and it said, you. And they're like, okay. Then they opened up a second one. It was just a big piece of paper with a printed word, R. And then envelope number three said, going. And the next envelope said, two. So at this point, L is, you know, putting this all together. She's like, you are going to, and she goes, Las Vegas.

Laura

Where did that even come from?

Shanna

Laura, I have absolutely no clue. I didn't know that my kids even knew about Las Vegas. So they all jazzed up about going to Las Vegas and I'm like, Stephen and I are looking at each other like, what the hell?

Laura

Yay, I'm so proud of you. That's really exciting. Thank you. Were they super excited?

Shanna

Yeah, Elle was pretty excited. Cece, I don't think she really knew what exactly that meant or anything, but Elle was definitely more excited. I don't know if she's disappointed that she's not going to Las Vegas, but maybe we'll save that for another trip.

Laura

Girl, Las Vegas. Oh my goodness, that's too funny. So funny. All right, so how are you feeling about a trip to Disneyland?

Shanna

I feel kind of nervous. I don't know. I don't know what to expect. I'm just going to be low key about it. And I don't know. Just go and see what it's like, basically. I don't want to over plan. I don't want to over prepare. Or maybe that's the wrong way to do it. I don't know, Laura.

Laura

Na na you go with the flow that's I will first of all you know I'm gonna be available for any and all advice I'm not like a Disney expert but we've been enough times recently with kids that like I can give you some tips. But also like as long as you go with just the expectation of like having fun and going with the flow. It's gonna be fun. Like, you don't have to do all the things. You're not gonna be able to do all the things. But I think it'll be fun. And also, your girls really like Disney stuff, right? Like, they watch Disney movies all the time.

Shanna

Yes, and they love Disney Plus, the streaming app. And because of that, Cici keeps asking, will Bluey be there? Will Bluey and Bingo be there? And at first, I didn't understand why the hell she thought Bluey and Bingo would be at Disneyland. But once I put two and two together, I was like, oh, yeah, because she always watches it on the Disney app. So I had to kind of break her heart and be like, no, honey, I don't think Bluey is going to be at Disneyland.

Laura

I've never seen Bluey at Disneyland. But you know, they're probably trying to figure out a way to work that in at this point with how popular really is.

Shanna

Yeah. Yeah, they really should. Hopefully before Elle's birthday so we can see Bluey and Big Go when we get there. But anyway, that's pretty much our Christmas and it was wonderful. And that's it for me. Shall we move on to our special segment?

Laura

Yeah, I think we should.

Shanna

Oh, can I? Y'all know I got a little kitten recently. Yeah, a little Jasmine. I am freaking out that my kids are ruining this cat, Laura. Oh no. Why? Okay, so we first got the kitten. I mean, you came over and you saw how friendly she was. She came up to you right away and you were picking her up and petting her and holding her. She would sit on my lap and just purr. And I was like, oh my God, this is like the friendliest, most loving, snuggly kitten. Like I was so excited. I feel like my kids in being kids and being excited about the kitten just are like over touching her. You know, like when you're a mom of like littles and you're like, ah, I'm all touched out, you know, by my kids. I feel like maybe they're touching out the cat a bit, like picking her up a lot.

Laura

Oh that sucks. I get that because like obviously we are a product of our environments and I can see how a high stress environment with two very rambunctious little kids might affect a kitten's personality. Does she chill out when they're not around?

Shanna

Oh, she's very chill when they're not around, even when they are. Like she's not like skittering off and hiding. She's not afraid. She's not anything like bad. I just feel like she's maybe a little more sus about human touch. So I'm not getting her coming up to me for pets and snuggles as much as she was before. I think that's kind of my concern. Now sometimes I try to capture the wildness with which my kids play with this cat. And it's hard because it's always spontaneous. But Laura, I captured a little something yesterday that I feel like really, really captures what I'm talking about. So I'm going to send you a little video.

Laura

Okay, let's see. Okay, so this is CeCe looking adorable in her holiday jammies and Jasmine is bothering no one, enjoying her quiet time on top of her cat tree. And CeCe is taking it upon herself to grab her tail gently, I will say, like she's being gentle with her. But pulling the cat's tail back to expose the cat's little butt and saying toot. farts to fart. And the look of like resigned contempt on Jasmine's face. I mean, that is 100% cat. I actually have to say her ears are forward. She actually looks pretty relaxed in this, like in my reading of cat behavior. I mean, she looks like really, seriously, but she just, if she was actually upset, she would be gone. Like cats do not. suffer fools, you know, they will be gone if they want to be gone.

Shanna

I think she was like, wow, this is the most gentle any of these children has touched me in ages. And before the camera was even rolling like CECE was like putting her face towards the butt of the cat and going like rocking back and forth and going to fart to like I'm just like, what are these kids even doing with this cat?

Laura

Well, I have some tactics I would suggest you try just to make you her favorite, and then she's gonna be suss around the girls. And rightfully so, it's self-preservation, okay? Like my younger cat, Cal, he's my baby, but he's probably like five or six now, I can't even remember. He keeps his distance from the boys, and rightfully so, because they have been known to jump on him. They'll just not even notice he's there. They're always running around, ninja fighting with each other and stuff, you know? So it's like, he knows to keep his distance, but the minute these kids are gone, like the minute they're in school, the minute they go to bed, this cat is all over me. I want that. Okay. He does this thing where you like pause at me. He's like, hello, hello. Pay attention to me. Okay. Number one is bribery. Just lots of bribery. Just get those like true cat treats, like the tubes of goo.

Shanna

All right, all right. Operation Get the Kitty to Love Me More on. It's on. Thank you for those tips.

Laura

You'll have to report back.

Shanna

Oh, I will. All right. What's your first OMGM freaking out?

Laura

It's about this like mandatory equity that the kids are imposing on us. This need for fairness that is just like pathological. I mean, I don't want to use the term pathological in the wrong sense, but like it feels that way. Mm-hmm, especially Augie, but also Sebastian. It's driving me nuts that they can't not have the exact same thing Always right like there's this this intense jealousy if either of them get something the other can't like it's so pronounced right now and it makes me think that maybe we're doing something wrong as parents because instead of like doing a good job of explaining why like We're aiming for fairness, not equity or whatever. I don't even know what the right terminology is, but we want things to be fair, but you're not always going to have the exact same things, right? And you can't always have the exact same things.

Shanna

Okay, I need an example because my girls have very similar issue, but my mind immediately goes to food. Like if we get a lemon loaf from Starbucks, I have to cut it exactly down the middle or they will notice. if one person has a millimeter more than the other. But what are you referring to?

Laura

It's not that for us, mostly because Aki only eats a few foods, right? So like, that's not so much of an issue. Okay, one example that comes to mind is this birthday party we went to this week. It was at the Wildlife Learning Center, which you talked about like ages ago on the podcast. Yes, yes, it's this little zoo full of rescue animals up in the north valley north of Los Angeles And it's so cool. You were right about it by the way I was like the whole time I was there is like Shanna said this place was so cool She's so right this place is so cool. It's very cool And we went to this amazing birthday party there was so fun and as we were leaving We all got gift bags, right gift bags were given to everyone goodie bags And Augie's little best friend from school was looking through his and it was slightly different. There was a sticker sheet in his best friends that he did not have.

Shanna

They just needed to be pushed vigorously enough.

Laura

It just, yeah, we just hadn't noticed. We hadn't like read the box. My God, that is hilarious.

Shanna

You endured 10 minutes of emotions and meltdown for nothing. Yeah, for nothing.

Laura

Oh my God. So yeah, that's what I'm freaking out about.

Shanna

Was he happy after that? Oh yeah. Yeah, it's fine now.

Laura

Everything's fine.

Shanna

Oh my god, kids.

Laura

So yeah, I don't have any solutions yet, except for just getting them the exact same things, which doesn't seem sustainable. I don't know.

Shanna

I know it's so hard. My girls have that fairness radar too. And I always try to preempt it by being like, well, we can get them each a big light up drawing board, you know, so that they don't fight over it. Yeah. And then they each have this giant board. This is a specific example from Christmas.

Laura

Yeah. Yeah. This is an awfully specific example, Shanna.

Shanna

And it's like they, you know, they use them until the novelty wears off. And now we've got like two giant drawing boards just sitting there taking up space. It's like, I don't know. I don't know what the solution is. And I wish I could be like, Hey, friend, they grow out of it. Don't you worry. No, no, they don't, at least not yet.

Laura

Someone out there is listening trying to decide if they're going to have a second kid and they're like, okay, check in the con column.

Shanna

But they are cute and we love them no matter what.

Laura

Yes, they are adorable when they're not. Screaming and fighting with each other.

Shanna

True.

Laura

So, Sean, Ed, do you have another thing you're freaking out about? I do.

Shanna

Speaking of screaming, this does involve screaming, probably not in the form you are going to expect. Okay. So I mean, one of my lifelong OMGs, I'm freaking out with kids is like parking lots, right? Walking through parking lots with kids and trying to avoid getting hit. Like, oh my gosh, they don't pay attention to cars and like, they need to stay by my side and right.

Laura

I mean so stressful so stressful yeah you're loading them in you're loading them out so like inevitably one of them is gonna be free range while the other one is getting out and it's tricky yeah like the other day Sebastian started walking away like towards the front of my car and I snapped at him I was like do not walk that way like parking lots are not safe Um, so yeah, I feel you on this.

Shanna

Yeah. But like there never ends up actually being any danger, right? And so the kids just probably think that I'm all amped up and like grabbing their hands and they don't understand why I think really. Yeah. They can maybe conceptually get that something could happen. They don't really understand why. But here is why we do this, Laura. Here's why. The other day, me and CCNL were leaving the indoor playground, and we step off the sidewalk and into the parking lot. And it is an extremely busy parking lot. I mean, there is the indoor playground. There's a DSW shoe store. There's a Super King grocery store. There are tons of lunch spots, just tons of cars and traffic. And this parking lot always makes me nervous. So I'm like, girls, come here, like get close to me, but they're like a little independent at this age. Like they don't always exactly what to hold my hand.

Laura

Important info.

Shanna

Looked at me, her mouth was a gape. She was like, oh my god, she couldn't believe she was about to hit somebody. People in the parking lot all around stopped. what they were doing and was looking at me and I was mortified. I was like, oh my God, I just screamed so loud at this lady and drew so much attention to us and I was like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, everything's okay, everything's okay. And the lady drove off and the girls, the girls were like, oh my God, mom, that was so embarrassing. Oh no. We got to our car and got inside and Elle in particular just could not get over how embarrassing it was that I yelled so loud at this person. And I was like, I am sorry, honey. I was so freaked out that she was gonna hit us and I like had to pull you out of the way. And I just, I couldn't help myself. It was just an impulse and it was, it was just a wild experience.

Laura

I'm immediately getting defensive for you being like, stop apologizing. What you did was awesome. Like someone needs to yell at this person. I might be a little biased because I had a somewhat similar situation not that long ago. I was walking in my neighborhood where I've discussed is a little dangerous as a pedestrian sometimes and someone tried to take a left like directly into us basically they did not see us at in that they didn't look, right? And we were crossing the street and the kids were in the stroller. And I also yelled a similar thing. I think I yelled, what the fuck? Like super loud at this person. And the boys were just like, why did you yell at that person? I was like, cause they almost ran us over. Like they deserved to be yelled at. Like they deserved to be tracked down and told what happened. See, the difference is your person responded, you know, was like, oh my God.

Shanna

I don't know. I don't know. I'm just like, oh great. We're moving into the embarrassment phase of my kid's childhood. I can't even save their lives without them being embarrassed.

Laura

I know, I'm so nervous about that. I love that right now we can do no wrong in their eyes.

Shanna

Well, I can apparently.

Laura

Oh, no. Well, you did a good thing. Your mom instincts saved your babies. And also you did like that bear roar. The mom bear. Get away from my children.

Shanna

Yeah, it was shocking, like how instantly it came out, how loud, how aggressive, like, ugh, I don't know. It is interesting to feel what it feels like when the Mama Bear comes out, because it doesn't happen that often.

Laura

Mm-hmm. There's that scene, I think it's in the pilot of Working Moms, where the main actress is like, on a stroller run through a park with her kid and an actual bear shows up. Yeah, I remember that. And she like confronts the bear. I always think about that scene because I'm like, very few things have captured that feeling of like protecting your kids against all odds as that scene has for me. I'm like, that was your bear.

Shanna

Yes, under percent. All right, I got to shake that one off. That I reliving that got me all worked up. All right, Laura, do you have another OMG I'm freaking out for us?

Laura

I do. This will be a little more cozy, but it's still bothering me. And maybe this is a rehash of an old OMG I'm freaking out. I don't know. I feel like I've talked about this before, but it's still a problem. So I'm going to talk about it, which is I'm freaking out about the intense parental preference my kids have for me right now.

Shanna

OK, is this a humble brag?

Laura

No. I mean, it sounds like it is, but it's really kind of annoying to be honest. Like, I mean, I love that they love me. I love that they love their mama and they want snuggles and all that stuff. But the promise that it translates into them not letting Corey do anything for them, like especially first thing in the morning. Like as the day goes on, they're better and they let Corey do like pouring shit for them, you know, like they're perfectly happy with letting him make their lunches and whatnot.

Shanna

Yeah.

Laura

When it comes to first thing in the morning, it's the real problem because Corey and I have alternated who wakes up early with the kids. And it's always with Sebastian for the most part because Augie now sleeps past, you know, he's always slept later than Sebastian for the most part, right? So we trade off. It's alternate mornings who wakes up with Sebastian. And this hasn't changed. We've been doing this for months, a year, maybe longer, where every other day it's Corey who comes in the door when Sebastian wakes up, right? Despite it being a regular routine that should be anticipated, that we have like talked to him about every morning that's Corey results in at least 10 minutes of screaming and crying and like fighting Corey basically. So he'll go in and he'll say, and I can hear it over the monitor or, you know, because sometimes Corey forgets to turn off the monitor.

Shanna

How does Corey feel about it? He's very stoic about it.

Laura

You know, he's like, you know, anytime the boys will be like, I love you, mama, which they do a lot. They'll just like come up to me. I love you, mama. He'll be like, oh, that must be nice, you know.

Shanna

I don't know. I feel like you've got to give it time because Cece is the same way. She's always been like that. She always prefers me once me to put her to bed. Steve and I alternate nights, putting the girls to bed. And almost every day she'll be like, is it your night to put me to bed? And I'll say, oh, no, it's daddy's. And she's like, no.

Laura

Yeah, same. Yeah, it's like melting to the floor.

Shanna

Yeah, and you know, that really hurts Steve's feelings. But the other day, we had the same conversation. Whose night is it to put me to bed? I said, it's Daddy's. And she goes, oh, Daddy, woohoo. I was like, Steve, did you hear that? He's like, I heard that. So, you know, I think we might finally be turning a corner.

Laura

That's good. That's good.

Shanna

And there's nothing we've done, but just give it time. I don't know. That's how hard it is.

Laura

Yeah. Maybe I should just be more of a jerk, make them like me less.

Shanna

That is the other solution.

Laura

Yeah. But anyway, that is what I'm freaking out about. Currently, I'm also freaking out about how long the segment is gone, so do you think we should wrap it up and move on to our BFPs and BFNs? Oh, I think we should.

Shanna

We're back and we wrap up every episode with our weekly Big Fat positives or Big Fat negatives. Laura, you are up first. What do you got for us?

Laura

I have a BFP. Okay. And it's just a little BFP. It's just a little something we did one afternoon, one evening this week. As you know, the week between Christmas and New Year's is a weird Week it's like a it's like a non week if you will it's like what's what year is it what day is it I don't know the kids aren't in school we don't have a normal routine everyone's all like hopped up on sugar and hungover from like all the presents from Christmas and One day this week, it was the 28th, actually, which is like, you know, the doldrums, the hump day, if you will, of the week between Christmas and New Year's. I was hanging out with the kids, the TV was on, everyone was going a little stir crazy, and it was starting to get dark outside. It was like 4.30. And Augie said to me, Mama, how come we never see the sunset anymore? Aw. And I was like, well, we've seen the sunset.

Shanna

Yeah.

Laura

Now we're like on the flats and there's like bigger buildings all around us and lots of trees and stuff So we don't really see the sunset from our house anymore. We see the light change and whatnot, but he's right We don't go out and see the sunset much.

Shanna

Mm-hmm.

Laura

And so I was like you want to go see the sunset? He was like, yeah, I'm like, all right. Let's get on the stroll Let's go see the sunset and he was like what I was like, let's go let's go and so I was like Sebastian you coming he's like, yeah, so like I Through their shoes on through a jacket on them put them in the double stroller and I was like Corey we're going on an adventure see you in a little bit and he's like what okay I think he was busy doing something I think he even had work to do so we were just like so I was like let's get out of its hair Let's do something right so I had the idea to go to the top of like A parking garage of a building nearby like a lot bigger building because I thought we'd be able to see the mountains from there and see the sunset. And so I'm like, okay, sunset is in 20 minutes. Do you think we can make it?

Shanna

Oh, how cute. All right, let's take a look.

Laura

Thank you. I was trying to do some dolly shots. I actually explained dolly shot to Augie. But of course, I should have brought the stroller out to do a proper dolly shot. But they were just running the length of this giant parking lot back and forth. So it was a lot of movement. I definitely got my steps in that day. His song was like, that's why I'm never free. That's why I'm afraid. But it was this that's why song and so funny because they've like totally latched onto it and they just start singing it. I don't know what it's not a song as far as I know like he was making it up. But that's my BFB. It's just that we like had a silly little outing that, you know, it just reminded me that you don't have to plan these big events, right? Like if you embrace the spontaneity and also I have to say like it's nice that they're a little older now because I can embrace that spontaneity.

Shanna

Yeah, the unexpected stuff is so great. And I love that they can just have so much fun in the most banal location, just like an empty parking lot. And they are making like a musical out of it. It reminds me of when our family went to go eat lunch at Presto Pasta recently, which is fine. That's not the spontaneous part. But afterwards, We were walking through the parking lot because we walked there. We were walking through the parking lot and there is just like a random grassy hill. I mean a small grassy hill surrounded by a sidewalk. And these kids played on that grassy hill for probably an hour and a half. At some point, I went home and got scooters and brought them back so that they could scooter around the hill. I took out my softball folding chair, unfolded it, sat on the sidewalk in a parking lot, and watched my kids play on this grassy hill. And it was a frickin' blast!

Laura

Yeah, I mean, they really do find fun wherever they go. So that is my BFP, our rooftop music video. Now I have about like 30 minutes of footage of the same song, but it was really fun.

Shanna

Cute. I love that.

Laura

Okay, Shanna, how about you? Do you have a BFP or a BFN?

Shanna

I have a BFP.

Laura

Yay.

Shanna

Yay. So my Christmas present this year was a cricket and a lot of accoutrements to go along with it.

Laura

I may have known about this ahead of time.

Shanna

How? How did you know?

Laura

Steve was like, I want to get shot at a cricket. But I need to know which one should I get her. And like, what's the package I should get? And I was like, all right. Well, here you go. And he's like, do you think she'd like it? I was like, 100%. Yes. Yes.

Shanna

Yeah, I was so excited to open it and I was even more excited to open the package with all of the accessories. I was like, oh, so I did some tutorials and kind of like learned the ropes of it and everything. But what was really cool and sweet about it is that the girls were really excited about it and they were requesting that I make them custom name stickers for their water bottles. Yeah. Like Elle was super into it. She wanted to help me and she was like putting the vinyl in and like doing all this stuff and helping me design it. She's like, I want a cactus. And it was so fun to do that together and like make something special for them. And so now I've got all these ideas of like how I can customize everything in their life in a super cute way and be the crafty mom I just I know is inside of me.

Laura

You know, I do truly think you've crossed the crafty mom Rubicon when you get the cricket, like there's no going back. For people who don't know a cricket is a CRI CUT. It looks like cry cut. It's cricket. And it's a cutting machine. I have one. I talked about it. I think I got one for my 40th birthday. I got it for myself. I love my cricket, but it's like a cutting machine so you can cut custom cards, custom vinyl that you can customize t-shirts or mugs or anything. And it's awesome. But yes, I mean, I feel like you unleash the power of crafty mom when you get the cricket. Also, you have like a fancier cricket than me. So I'm only mildly jealous about it, but I might have to come over to use it to cut chipboard at some point.

Shanna

Oh, chipboard. See, I don't even know what all it does. I think we should have a cricket party and just get together with our crickets and cut shit.

Laura

Yes, we should. And also, you know, what's great about it is that our kids have somewhat unusual names that, like, you don't see at gift shops. Like, you're not going to see your daughter's names at the Disneyland gift shop on, like, a toy license plate. It's not going to happen, right? Your kids' names are not popular enough. Mine, one of mine is. Augie's actual name is, like, showing up in places because it's in the top 100. But, like, the Sebastian's forget it. So, when you have the cricket, though, you can actually personalize stuff for them. Which is nice.

Shanna

It's exciting and I can make it cute and pick colors. I made one for Cece, which was like a cat and we found a font that like the negative space in the letters was like little cat silhouettes. It's really cute. But I got to say the thing that really killed me, Laura, is I went to all this trouble. I made like these layered stickers. And then she's like, I want to put it on myself. And I was like, OK. She put it on all crooked. Like it's all folded up on one side. Like I didn't get smoothly put on. And like my insides were like twisting. Like I wanted to control it so bad. But I was like, OK. So now every time I see it, I'm just like. But whatever, it made her so happy.

Laura

So that's all that matters. That's all that matters. Yes. And you can be a perfectionist on your own projects.

Shanna

Yes. Yes. Exactly. But that's it for me. And I think that's it for our show unless you have a five star review to read.

Laura

I do.

Shanna

Yay.

Laura

Okay, this is from Vegan Piano Lady on Apple Podcast. The title is Relatable and Fun, Five Stars. I love this podcast. I've been listening from episode one since I found out I was pregnant. My baby will probably be soothed by Laura and Shanna's voices and the BFPC music when he comes out because he has been hearing them so much in utero. So glad to have found such an enjoyable and informative podcast during a time of big changes in my life. Oh, hello, baby. If this is your cue to go to sleep.

Shanna

Oh, my gosh, I love it. Thank you so much, Vegan Piano Lady. Listeners, if you haven't had a chance yet to leave us a five-star review, could you please do us a favor and head on over to Apple Podcasts, leave five stars, say a few things you love about the show, and we might read it on an upcoming episode. And if you have any OMGs I'm freaking out that you want to share with us, you know we want to hear them. Laura, where can everyone find us?

Laura

OMG, we are on TikTok, Instagram and Facebook at BFP Podcast. We also have a website, bigfappositivepodcast.com. And if you want to send us a voice memo or just a regular old email, send it to contact at bigfappositivepodcast.com. Finally, if you want to join the coolest group of people on the internet and maybe see some exclusive content from me and Shanna, just go to Facebook and search Big Fat Positive Community. It is a private group, so you got a request to join and make sure you answer those two membership questions so we know you're not a robot. But once you do that, you'll be sent straight through to the amazing conversations we're having in there.

Shanna

Our show is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thanks for listening, everyone. Have a Big Fat Positive week. Bye. Bye.