Making Peace With Picky Eating – Ep. 286

Laura

Welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. This week, we have our weekly check-ins. We have our special segment. They said, what? Where we talk about dizzy grandpas, dog problems, and dead pop stars? And we close with our BFPs and BFNs for the week. Let's get started.

Shanna

My week had a bit of a story arc to it that I want to report on.

Laura

Okay, a little beginning, middle, and end action.

Shanna

Yeah, yeah. So last week I was checking in about how I had a migraine for like six days of migraine episode, right? And it was like so exhausting. Yeah. As a mom, you just got to keep doing everything you do, despite all of that. So that cleared up. And then right on the heels of that, I got sick. I got a cold or something that turned into a sinus infection. And so then I was dealing with that. And it was Thanksgiving week. as you know. And the girls had off several days of school and the holiday was coming up. And the combination of having that migraine and being sick and the anticipation of a holiday and just the girls off school and having to do everything despite feeling bad was getting me so down. Like I felt so depleted and I just couldn't stop ruminating on how we just don't have like

Laura

Yeah. I mean, well, that makes me feel good because obviously that's what you want on Thanksgiving. You know, I feel it's funny because everyone's like, oh, my gosh, you're so great for hosting. And I'm like, I feel selfish because I'm like making everyone come to me. You know what I mean? Like, come to me.

Shanna

No, no, I like it. Your kitchen is much better than mine anyway. So that's where it should happen. And the food was so good and the kids played. I don't even know what they were doing half the time. Oh my god. The next day I was like, Oh, what was your favorite part of Thanksgiving? And she's like watching a Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. And I was like, oh, you watched a Charlie Brown Thanksgiving? Like I had no clue. Maybe the guys were in charge of the kids or they just went off and did it, but they were fine. Like they entertained themselves and me and you, chatted and cooked and hung out in the kitchen. And it was like such a much needed event in my life.

Laura

And at this point, we can call it a tradition because we've done it two years in a row. Yeah. Oh, tradition, tradition. I love it. Yeah, they really, the kids just ran off and were like, I mean, they were just going up the stairs, down the stairs, up the stairs, down the stairs. And I'm finally at the point where like, I'm a little worried about Sebastian on the stairs, but he does handle them pretty well. So I just have to remind like, go slow, like, guys, be careful with. Sebastian on the stairs, you know, because he's trying to catch up with the big kids. And oh, yeah. But yeah, I mean, they just they never stopped moving.

Shanna

I don't think I don't think so either. Well, maybe they sat still to watch that Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.

Laura

Who knows, Laura? Who knows? I have a vague memory of Cory being like, you kids need to sit down. Like you guys want to watch something like.

Shanna

That's so cute.

Laura

All I know about what they were doing and playing and talking about is that I've gotten reports from Augie. He's told me some random things at random times since then. And he's like, mama, did you know that ghosts are real? No, they're really real. I'm not joking. They're really real. And I was like, oh, yeah? You're like, oh, my God, how am I going to handle this? Because this is a kid who's scared sometimes of sleeping in his room. I didn't want to be dismissive, but I also didn't want to encourage it. So I was just like, oh, yeah, who told you that? He's like, L, L told me that and she knows everything.

Shanna

What? Oh, I'm so sorry. My seven year old is putting those ideas in your kid's head. I didn't even know that she thought that. I don't know. Occasionally they ask me like her ghost real and I'm like, no, no, I don't know who knows. Nobody knows. It's complicated kids.

Laura

Well, she knows everything, according to Augie. So I guess so. I guess so. They're so funny because they're such like kindred spirits, the two of them. But obviously she's like three years older than him. So like, you know, there is an age differential, but it almost doesn't seem like it's so funny because they just like they like attract to each other like magnets the minute they're together they're just like playing nonstop it's really cute it's so fun to watch.

Shanna

I know I really, I really love seeing them together. Oh, they both bring the big energy to the party.

Laura

Oh my God.

Shanna

Yes. I love it. I love it. So that was really fun. And then we had the rest of like the long weekend and I didn't know what I was going to do with myself, you know, for this long weekend and the kids. And I got a wild hair up my ass to start a project around the house. And I'm not going to talk about it right now because I'm going to save it for the last segment. But I just wanted to end the story of my week with saying that doing that project was like the final icing on top of the cake of what I needed for the week. I was feeling really low and depleted and then our Thanksgiving lifted me up and then I did a creative project around the house and that was for myself. I ended the week feeling quite happy, completely different than the way I started the week and I felt great.

Laura

I love this. I love how it just shows, you know, you always hear about self-care, self-care, right? And like we, and we also know at this point that like it's not bubble baths, right? It's like all this other stuff, like being social with other people and taking care of others and being creative and all that stuff, right? Like the stuff that really fills your cup, but it's like so nice to hear such a concrete example. Like you were feeling really down and you just took some like fairly simple steps, you know? Like obviously Thanksgiving is a whole big rigmarole but you know that you did these things and then you felt better at the end of the week like oh magic self-care works amazing.

Shanna

It is a good reminder because when you're stuck in that low place it can feel so endless just like oh my gosh why is my life so blah but it's a good reminder that you can come out of it yeah definitely. So that's my check in for the week. I want to hear about yours.

Laura

Well, yeah, my big check in was basically I spent the whole week prepping for Thanksgiving and I love it. People are like, Oh my gosh, I can't believe you're hosting. I can't believe you're cooking all the things like I cooked. Let's see. My mom helped too because my mom came in I think on Tuesday and she now has her own kitchen over there. So she did some stuff. But like I cooked the turkey. I cooked pumpkin pie. I cooked and I have to be extra with the pumpkin pie. I can't just like take a can of pumpkin and mix some spices in. And I know I have to like this year I was like, I'm going to make a handmade pie crust. I don't mean like And by handmade, I mean, literally I did not use like a mixer or the Cuisinart or anything. I just like cut it all together by hand. It was really good actually.

Shanna

I am so sad I didn't try any. I was so full from the dinner, which was, I think I said at one point, this is the best Thanksgiving meal I've ever had. Like it was so, mm. that I had no room for pumpkin pie. And now I'm extra sad that I didn't.

Laura

Well, I make them for like Christmas time. So maybe I'll just make you one. Okay. I think Cece really liked the pumpkin pie, right?

Shanna

Oh yeah, both my kids, they were there for it. I thought for sure that was going to be their favorite part of Thanksgiving.

Laura

That's interesting you say that because that actually is a good segue into my next topic. But I just had an idea that maybe I'll bring you guys a pumpkin pie for Cece's birthday.

Shanna

Oh, they would love that. And so would I.

Laura

Yes. But so speaking of assuming that the kids would love the pumpkin pie and eat the pumpkin pie, I kind of assumed that that was like all Augie was going to eat the pumpkin pie and the King's Hawaiian rolls. And that's because last year that is all he ate from Thanksgiving dinner he ate like I want to say six Kings Hawaiian rolls and like a piece of pumpkin pie Mm-hmm And I remember last year being like fairly disappointed that he didn't even try anything else You know like I definitely felt the pressure to be like well, let's put like one piece of turkey on your plate. Let's put one potato like I make these roasty potatoes that I think this year actually they weren't as good as they been in past years. That's my own, you know, self criticism, but they're basically fried. I mean, they're fried potatoes. They're basically big French fries. They're good. He wouldn't touch him.

Shanna

Oh my gosh, I didn't even notice.

Laura

Yeah. And even though I'm a little like chagrined about it, right? Like, ugh, you know, I'd prefer if he at least tried. I was surprised to find myself like fairly okay with it this year. And I thought that was, you know, personal growth because I feel like over the last year I've really come to understand sort of his relationship with food and how anything feels like pressure to him, any kind of encouragement, and that he really has to like take food on his own terms. And I like basically can't do anything other than like give him the opportunity to eat. And I had been starting to learn that last year, but this year I feel like, oh, I've like really internalized it because I am okay with the fact that he ate a snack bar like an hour before dinner was served and that he didn't eat anything. Like he was too distracted by playing with L and CECE and all the activity that was going on.

Shanna

Good. That's that is progress, Laura. That's hard to let go of, you know, especially on such a special day when you've worked so hard. And I think that that's That's great to find that inner peace about that.

Laura

I think it was just our family, like just the kids and my mom and Corey. I would feel worse because I'm like, who should I make all this food for you? But since you guys were there and your girls love the food, so I was just like, cool. I've made somebody happy. You know, Cece was going to town on her plate. You know, as long as I can make someone happy with all the food I made.

Shanna

Absolutely.

Laura

But yeah, but I feel like that was my arc this year to be like, okay, it's okay. Yeah. Yeah. So maybe one day he'll enjoy Thanksgiving dinner. Maybe he won't. Maybe he will be one of those guys that subsists on like who knows what, but it's okay. It doesn't make him a bad person, right? Like it doesn't make him any less. So. Yeah, but I will say I ate so much and I still did eat some pie because I was like, I have to have some pumpkin pie.

Shanna

So yeah. I think of your boys like my girl's cousins, basically.

Laura

Yeah. My boys only have step cousins, right? Like my stepbrothers have kids, but we don't see them that often. And, you know, they're not apparently going to get cousins according to my brother. So so yeah, we got to find our cousins.

Shanna

Yeah.

Laura

Where we can.

Shanna

Absolutely. Well, thank you for having us over. We appreciate it so much and I'm so happy it's becoming a tradition. Me too. I think that's it for this segment. Should we move on to our special segment? Yes, we should.

Laura

Okay, so I mentioned that my children are not gonna get cousins because my brother has said that he and his wife are not planning on having their own human children. But this they said what? It's actually like a series of things my brother has said to me over the past few years since I've had kids that are all very well-meaning but when I say he's not going to have human children I said that because I believe my brother thinks he already has a child and that is his dog Rumi.

Shanna

Paint a picture of Rumi for us.

Laura

Rumi is like, I guess he's like a pit bull mix. He's like a brindle, but he's got like a tail that curves up in the back. He's like a muscular, medium sized dog with these big old ears here. I'll send you a picture.

Shanna

Okay. Oh, he's a sweetie pie. Okay.

Laura

Yes. So my they said what is a collection of things my brother has said to me because there's not one that stands out and any one of these would not warrant a whole, you know, segment on they said one. But when they when you take them in the aggregate, it's like, okay. And that is that any time. I bring up something the kids are doing, usually in the context of things that have annoyed me or are challenging, being kept up at night or feeding challenges with Augie, that sort of thing, without fail. My brother in a completely good-hearted attempt to relate to me says, oh my gosh, I totally understand Rumi does that too.

Shanna

Oh, Jeff, that's so adorably. I don't even know the word.

Laura

It's just, oh, that's so funny. I know. I know. I have text messages. Let me see if I can find a screenshot to send you. Okay.

Shanna

I have to say, though, I can kind of relate to Jeff and the roomie. Witching our situation because Sasha is very finicky at dinner time. It's like, oh, you don't want your little chicken. Oh, okay. Well, what do you want a piece of human sausage? Oh, you don't want that, you know, it really you got to try to find something to get the dog to eat. But I wouldn't bring that up when you tell me about your children's eating problems.

Laura

Oh, here's one. Okay. This one was from when we went to Disneyland. I'm going to send you a screenshot.

Shanna

Okay.

Laura

So this is a text I sent him. Let's see what the timestamp. 622 AM. And the good news is my brother's always up early and he's also an hour ahead because he's in Denver. But so I sent him a video from Disneyland and like, You know, I'd spent the whole day at Disneyland with the kids, which is fun, but exhausting. And this is what I got.

Shanna

You say, I'm currently struggling because we got home at 11 and Sebastian was like, I think I'll wake up at 2 and 6 for good. He immediately replies, same thing. We were up late seeing Ween at Red Rocks. Great show, by the way. Then Rumi went barking at a fox at 3 AM. Same thing, Laura. Same thing. It's the same. It's the same. They enjoyed a concert outdoors alone without children and then their dog barked at a fox.

Laura

I love your brother so much. It's so innocent. That's the thing about it. He's so sweet about it. And so I don't want him to listen to this and think I'm busting his bubble. It's impossible to explain to people without kids, I think. the intensity of parenting. And I do get that having a dog is probably as close as you'll get without having your own kids or caretaking another human. Unless you're caretaking another human, whether it's caring for an aging parent or having small children in your life, you just don't know. You just can't know the intensity of it until it happens. I didn't know. I thought I knew. I watched my friends do it. I didn't know. You just don't know. So he just doesn't know. And this is his only way to relate, but it is like, come on, Jeff, it's not the same. It's not the same. It's not the same. So anyway, that's my they said what, I absolutely love my brother.

Shanna

Yeah, exactly. It's your kid's canine cousin.

Laura

We do call him cousin Rumi. All right. So that was my first they said, what do you have one for us?

Shanna

Oh, I do. Okay. I was at a softball practice a couple months back. It was L's. It was when L was on the all stars, right? There was very long practices for these kids for all stars, like two hours. And that's a lot.

Laura

Yeah.

Shanna

And I would bring Cece with me to watch practice, because I can't just drop L off and leave, right? I have to sit there the whole time. And I have an entire system for handling long practices and games with Cece. I have a huge activity bag full of coloring books, markers, Play-Doh, tons of stuff. She has a little chair. She has a blanket. She's got, you know, everything. And keeping her entertained and occupied at these practices is a lot of hard work. It's not necessarily relaxing for me. And I was at this practice and I'm trying to also watch Elle on the field and like see what she's up to. And you know, let her know that I'm also watching her. So I'm sitting on the bleachers and watching her. And then I like, here's CECE be like, I want a snack. And I have to like go over there.

Laura

And I'm like,

Shanna

I'm like surely he didn't say that to me like I barely know this guy or if he is talking to me maybe he's saying it in a jokie way like I'm gonna choose to ignore that comment and so I go and I attend to CeCe and I come back over to the bleachers to watch Elle and he said it again to make sure that I knew Well, he said, he said, sit down, you're making me dizzy. And I can maybe see someone saying that with a fully good nature joking sense to them. And that's what I was like, giving him the benefit of the doubt. Like maybe he was saying that super jokey, but there was an edge to it that was like legit. Like I was bothering him by getting up and down and attending to my kid and trying to watch my other kid and stuff. And I, laughed it off, you know, as I do, I'm like, I know, it's not easy having a four year old, you know. Yeah. I'm just like, dude, shut your mouth. Seriously.

Laura

It's like, I mean, this harkens back to when you're trying to lug all the beach stuff down to the beach, right? And some dude is like, and he commented on how much like stuff you had. And it's like, yeah, being a good parent, like, sometimes it takes a lot of fucking work. And I'm so sorry that my energy and my attempt to be a present parent for both my kids is disturbing your poor little sit-down. Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Mr. Man. Is your sit-down being disturbed? Oh. Poor man. Oh, you're slightly... Not even inconvenienced. You're just... Your world isn't 100% perfect around you right now. Aww. Let me fix that for you. No, fuck that man.

Shanna

I knew that telling you this would make me feel better. Yes, thank you. Yes, exactly. And then I was self-conscious about it for the rest of the process, right?

Laura

Well, that was his intended effect though, 100%. He's not just saying that to be a shithead. He's saying that because he knows it's gonna curb what you're doing, right? It's gonna curb your enthusiasm, and even if you're not gonna change what you're doing, even if you're like, well, whatever, I have to do this, you're gonna feel like shit about it, right?

Shanna

Yeah, every time I walk past him.

Laura

This man's comfort was being put above everything else. This man thought that his right to sit in one spot and have a clear line of view with absolutely no visual distractions was more important than your kids being attended to. It's such, ugh, I hate it so much.

Shanna

Thank you, yeah. And you know what's weird too is that you don't really realize that you're being observed a lot of the time. Like I was just parenting, you know, and doing my thing. And then suddenly it was like the brakes hit. And I was like, wait a minute, people are watching you, people are judging you, people are, Observing you and that made me feel so weird like can't I just exist and do what I need to do without anyone even caring?

Laura

Well, I mean it just goes back to like the invisible load of motherhood like it's designed to be invisible right like When we start making this stuff more visible people start being annoyed by it and it's like You should be. Like, you know, this is a grandpa. He's from an earlier generation where women were just expected to do all the things and not bother them with it, right? Like, they don't need to know. It's the invisible stuff, right? And, oh, no. Now I have to see you tending to both of your children. Oh, no. What a hard day for him. I hope he's OK. I hope he recovered.

Shanna

I don't know. I didn't check in on him.

Laura

Yeah, you didn't bring him a treat.

Shanna

Oh, my word. All right, well, that feels good to get that off my chest. Thank you, friend, for validating my feelings about it. What's your next they said what?

Laura

Okay, so my next they said what is something Augie said to me. Oh, I love these. August is very much on a comparison kick right now. He's doing a lot of like, I love you, but I don't love daddy. And I'll be like, you do. But he needs to have things sort of in black and white. I can tell it's some kind of developmental thing that's going on where he'll be like, I like so-and-so in school, but not so-and-so. And I'm like, you can like build people. It doesn't require exclusivity.

Shanna

It's like, oh, you love this cat who doesn't care for you 24 hours a day and take care of your needs and do everything. Oh, that's harsh.

Laura

But you know, I got over it. I'm going to send you some pictures I took right after you said that because it's so cute. He has figured out that if he puts his hand in front of Magnus's nose, Magnus will just start licking him. And he thinks that's the funniest thing that's ever happened. Oh, that's amazing.

Shanna

Oh, look at those cuttle pictures. So cute. Magnus is a glorious cat. I mean, I can kind of see why he loves Magnus more than you.

Laura

I mean, I love Magnus. He's so sweet. He's such an old man. He doesn't do anything except for, you know, lie down and then complain about not getting fed. But, uh, yeah. But yeah, apparently, uh, Augie has moved on. He's no longer in a mommy face. He's in a cat face.

Shanna

Well, your indoctrination is working. Yes.

Laura

All right. Do you have another they said what? Yes.

Shanna

The other day I went for a walk and I was like, CECE, do you want to come with me? Um, you can ride in the Bob stroller, right? She's getting pretty big for strollers, but the Bob is still pretty big and fits her and stuff. It was around daylight savings. So the time shift was kind of making her sleepy and she had a little cough and I thought maybe she could use just like a nice relaxing stroll in the stroller. And she's like, yeah. So she hops in the stroller and we walk down to the shopping center near us. I'm like, I'm going to hop into Sprout and get a few things. And as I'm walking around, she falls asleep. in the stroller and takes a little snooze. I'm like, that's fine. So as I'm walking around the vegetable section, a nice older woman walks by and looks at Cece in the stroller and says, she fell asleep. And I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Laura

Is she a doll?

Shanna

Is she a doll? Yeah, exactly. I'm just like, I don't know. I was just laughing to myself in line, just like, man, people are so funny. It wasn't even like, oh, she's so cute or like, oh, anything. It was just, oh, she fell asleep. I'm like, yup.

Laura

Okay. See, my interpretation of that is that I feel like that's something I would say. And like, my follow-up would be, oh, my kid's never fell asleep in the stroller or something, but like, maybe she bit her tongue, you know?

Shanna

Maybe that's where it was going.

Laura

Yeah, because when you said that she fell asleep in the stroller, like, honestly, I haven't been able to get either of my kids to fall asleep in a fucking stroller since they were like infants, you know? Uh-huh. I have this really distinct memory of Augie being like, ah, just after one. It was early pandemic, so like one and a half. And I was like, I'm just gonna take him on a nice long walk to get him to fall asleep. And the kid would not fall asleep. I was just like, what the fuck? So, but you know, him and napping was always a problem. So I'm amazed that she fell asleep. So maybe that was where she was coming from. But yeah, it's so funny.

Shanna

Yeah, maybe. I don't know. Yeah. I don't know her full train of thought. It's just that little phrase blurted out of her mouth. And then I never saw her again out of context like that. It's just like funny.

Laura

Like, no, I drugged her.

Shanna

Yeah, there you go.

Laura

All right. You have one more. They said what for us? I do. Okay. So I did one that Augie said. Now I have to do one that Sebastian said because he is really funny. He's talking a lot these days. Okay.

Shanna

It's so funny that he hooked on to that.

Laura

I know, it's like you tell them about 5,000 things during the day and that's what stuck, right? Right? Yeah. I feel like I need to like send a message to his teachers to make sure that they don't think we're teaching him like weird ass shit.

Shanna

Oh, I know the stuff teachers must hear. Oh my gosh. Well, I'm just glad that Elle isn't the one who is telling them that Michael Jackson is not real or dead or whatever. You know, they're getting their information from a good source this time. Yeah.

Laura

Well, Elle knows everything. She probably told Augie that Michael Jackson's ghost is haunting our house though, so.

Shanna

Okay. Recently I hired a gardener to come over and fix our sprinklers. It's actually my next door neighbor's gardener. Remember, I was like, I can't wait for him to do something. So I hired him. Host him. Yes, I did. I hired him to fix the sprinklers around my yard. And he is so friendly. I really love this guy. I've seen him around for a couple of years now. We always say hi, how are you doing, et cetera. And he had wrapped things up and he came to the door and he's like hey you wanna come out and like check everything out and see how it all works and stuff I was like oh yeah sure so I come out and while I'm out there looking at the sprinklers I was like oh this is like this looks great and stuff. I got a head back in because we just got a kitten and Cece is in there right now and cats and kids and blah, blah, blah, just made a comment about cats and kids or something.

Laura

Yeah, it's like not a conversation to have on your doorstep when you need to run inside, you know what I mean? Yeah. There's like a deeper conversation to be had because who knows? Maybe he's probably hurting, right? Like he had his own journey to go through and maybe his comment came from a place of hurt on his own and then, you know, trying to give each other grace and all that stuff. But like literally, you have to run inside. So like, It all just feels very clunky. Yeah. And also, yeah, like, it does have a sort of judgmental tone to it, even if it's not what was implied because, oh, well, we didn't want to force it, which means you did, right? Like, you forced it. And I mean, I guess that's one way to interpret IVF, right? Like, it takes a lot of effort

Shanna

The really interesting thing about it is that that comment came after he had explained kind of the links that. he and his wife had gone to to try to get pregnant, which was included like traveling to other countries and seeing spiritual healers and, you know, doing quite a bit of effort. And so in my mind, it's like, okay, well, where is the line of forcing it or not forcing it? And I had no time to have that conversation with my gardener because Suddenly, CeCe is screaming inside the house and I'm like, oh my god, I really gotta go now. And I just dropped the conversation win and she's like, you laughed at me. I'm like, I'm sorry. I was talking about fertility with a gardener. And it was a mess. It was a mess. She had a complete meltdown.

Laura

But yeah, I think it's tricky because I've gotten into these situations because I'm I think we're similar in this way where we kind of wear our hearts on their sleeves and are willing to talk to strangers about things that I think a lot of people would be more guarded about. And so you end up in these like deeper conversations in completely inappropriate situations. Yes.

Shanna

Yes. That's that's that was the whole thing about all of it. It was all just like, wait, where am I? What is happening? What's going on in the background? What are we talking about?

Laura

Oh my God, I learned this from my mom because my mom, I swear, no matter what situation she's in, she somehow finds a way to find out people's deepest, darkest secrets and their whole backstory. She will find out the backstory of a cashier at a store. I love that. I'll be waiting for her outside with the kids or something and she'll come out and she'll be like, Wow, did you know that that cashier at the Nordstrom Rack? She had a really hard time. Her dad died when she was three and I was like, how? How did you find this out?

Shanna

That is a gift that some people have to just like inspire people to open up. I think I have the opposite in most situations. People see me and they're like shut down, do not share with that woman.

Laura

I don't think so. I don't think so, but there is a happy medium. There are times where I've been with my mom and I'm like, okay, this is great. I'm so glad this person is getting a free therapy session, but maybe let's not ask her about her relationship with her mother when we're just trying to get a smoothie, okay?

Shanna

I love how your mom shows up in this podcast.

Laura

Oh, wonderful.

Shanna

Oh my God. All right. That's my last they said what. And I think that's the end of this segment. Shall we move on to our BFPs and BFNs? Yes, we should.

Laura

OK, we are back and we wrap up every week with a Big Fat Positive or big fat negative. Shanna, you have a BFP or BFN for us?

Shanna

I have a BFP. Woohoo. I mentioned in the first segment that I did a project around the house and that is my BFP. So I like to decorate for Christmas right after Thanksgiving. But I was thinking, you know, I want to like improve my living room a little bit. Like last year I had COVID on Christmas and I just like I don't know. I have icky feelings about it. And so I want to like change up something either like where we put the Christmas tree or get a real Christmas tree this year or just something. I wanted to mix it up a little bit so it feels different from last year. And so I was ruminating on this and I had the idea that I wanted to redo our fireplace. You've been to our house, Laura. We have a huge fireplace in the corner fireplace. It's like basically a whole wall. It's ugly as shit. I've hated it since the day I moved in.

Laura

It's such a like 80s thing, I feel like. We had that in our old house in the 80s, like just like a big old mirror up high for some reason, above the fireplace, actually, now that I think about it.

Shanna

Oh, interesting. We got a quote when we first moved in to remove that mirror because I didn't like it from the beginning. And he quoted us like $1,200 to remove the mirror. And so we were like, hmm, hard pass. So it's just been there forever. And it's like a nothing corner of my house. You know, I like lighting a fire, but I hate that corner. And I'll send you a picture of it to remind you, Laura, of what it looked like.

Laura

OK, I feel like my mind's eye has a pretty good memory of it. But let's see it in all its detail. OK, there is a picture. Okay, yes. It's not my aesthetic. I will say, you know, the brick, yeah. So a lot of people are upset about like people who paint over brick and whatnot, but like this is brick that is, it's not like historic brick. It's not like beautiful brick. It's just, it looks like salvaged brick and not in a good way, right? Like lots of patchy stuff, weird paint on some of them. And then, yeah, this inexplicable mirror under your crown molding. The crown molding doesn't even connect either.

Shanna

It's weird. So I was like, I'm going to make over that area. So I looked online, got a little inspo. I've never wanted to paint the fireplace, because I personally, this is not an offense to anyone who does this, I do not like the look of a white painted fireplace. Like that's usually what people suggest, like paint it white, paint it white. And I'm like, that's not gonna work for me. I decided to paint it blue. As you know, I love blue. Our house is of lots of different shades of blue. And I mentioned it to Steve and he's like, okay, well that project might take a couple of days. And I was like, wait a burst my bubble, dude. I have energy. I want to do it now. And I got all sad. He's like, oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to like, you know, take the wind out of your sails. Go for it if you want. So I was like, perfect. That's exactly what I needed to hear.

Laura

I Love it. Okay, but you talked about paint, but what about the gigantic mirror that? someone said would cost 1200 bucks to just take off.

Shanna

Right? I was like, oh my God, what am I going to do about that? Like, I don't want to take it off myself. Like, I considered it. But then I was like, that sounds like a big job. And Steve really was like discouraging me on that. He's like, that's going to be a lot. And so I'm like, I got a problem, solve this. I got to figure out what to do about this. So I was like, maybe I'll put some wallpaper on it. And I was looking at wallpaper and different like, you know, peel and stick stuff. And I'm like, I don't know. I don't know. And then I got this idea to paint it also, and I started creating a mock-up in Photoshop of what I wanted the whole area to look like. So I then went to YouTube and skimmed through a video of how to paint mirrored walls really quickly. Okay, I could do that. I had to sand it. I had to prime it and do all of this stuff.

Laura

Shanna. Shanna, look at this. Okay. First of all, I love that blue. As you know, I would. It's kind of like a deep teal. I don't know. What is it called? What was the name of your color?

Shanna

I think it was called blue wharf. It's kind of a dusty, deep blue.

Laura

Yeah, like a nautical blue. You know what? This is a lot like a lot of the inspiration photos I had for our kitchen. We ended up going with a lighter color for our cabinets, but this is like originally the color I wanted our cabinets to be. Oh, cool. This is gorgeous. You would never know there was a mirror behind there. You got a really nice grate. Was that the same grate or did you get a new? Oh, I got a new grate. Beautiful with these like chevrons. I love it. Love it, love it, love it. It's like a brand new. It probably makes the whole room feel brand new, huh?

Shanna

It does. And it feels like a part of the room now. Whereas before it was kind of like, it just felt all separate and far away and like, we all wanted to just ignore it, you know? And now it feels like it's drawn in to the room and it's so nice to like have a fire in there and sit near it and oh, it just feels so good. And it's so uplifting for me to do a creative project like this where I have a vision and I get the impulse and the energy to just do it. Oh, it's like so satisfying.

Laura

I know that feeling very well. Mine rarely involve home decor stuff because it's not my love language. It's not my strength. But I will get in the same creative fervor with all kinds of various crafting things. And I'll just be like, I need to do this now. And then next thing I know, I have a finished product that I'm so happy with. I love this. I can't wait to see it in person.

Shanna

Yeah, thank you. It was so fun and so satisfying. Yeah, so that's mine. What do you got for us this week, BFP or BFN? I have a BFP, okay.

Laura

So when you were talking about how you felt like you were missing your village, right? Like you were lacking a village. You've mentioned this a couple of times and you talked about it in your check-in. It was making me think about my BFP, which is this thing I spontaneously decided to organize for the Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving. So I've made a little group of mom friends from preschool, right? They were all in Augie's class, and now we've all kind of scattered a little bit. One of the moms has a younger son who's also in Sebastian's class, so like we're still together in that class, but everyone else is in different classrooms, but we've all stuck together, the four of us. And these are the moms I like went and saw Barbie with and we try to get together when we can.

Shanna

That sounds so fun. And it really goes to show that just putting an idea out there can really work. You know, it's like we hesitate. I don't know. Should I should I not? But he just put it out there. It might work. So go for it.

Laura

Yeah. And they all were joking because I'm the person who's just always I text the group anytime we go to a park. I'm like, I'm going to a park. You guys want to join us? And I'd say about like, hmm. 30 to 50% of the time someone comes, right? Like it's not a high rate, right? Most of the time, no one can come join us, but they've told me they're like, please don't stop. Like, don't interpret us not coming as like, we don't want you to do this anymore. Like, I love that you do this. And like, it's just most of the time we can't come. And I'm like, yeah, no, I get it. Like, but the times you can come, it's great, you know? Like, and the kids get to play together and we get to have a little socializing time. So, yeah. I highly recommend trying to find a parent crew that you can do that with. Awesome. But that's it for me unless you have a five-star review to read.

Shanna

Why yes I do. This review is from Allie Wilkerson on Apple Podcasts. The title of the review is Fun, Informative, and Positive Podcast, Five Stars. I've been listening to Shanna and Laura since I found out I was pregnant at four weeks. I love this podcast and have been listening daily since. I'll be 20 weeks this Wednesday. I've learned a ton from these ladies. They make the show fun and interesting. I always learn something new. They make me laugh and I feel like I know them. A must for any trying, expecting, or new mama out there. Thanks, Allie. Aw, thanks so much, Allie. Listeners, if you haven't had a chance yet to leave us a five-star review, could you please do us a favor and head on over to Apple Podcasts, leave those five stars, say a few things you love about the show, And it really does help listeners find our show and want to become a part of RBFP community.

Laura

We are on TikTok, Instagram and Facebook at BFP podcast. We have a website, BigBatPositivePodcast.com. And if you want to send us an email, just send it to contact at BigBatPositivePodcast.com. And finally, if you want to get some exclusive content from me and Shanna and you want to join the coolest group of people on the internet, Just search Facebook for Big Fat Positive Community. It is a private group, so you have to request to join and make sure you answer those two membership questions so we know you're not a robot. Once you do that, we will send you straight through to all the amazing conversations we're having in there.

Shanna

Our show is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thanks for listening, everyone. Have a Big Fat Positive Week. Bye. Bye.