Ep. 278 – Helping Your Child Overcome Their Fears

Laura:

Welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. This week, we have our weekly check-ins. We have our special segment, “Stump the Mom,” where we talk about big bats, bad candy, and belsnickeling, and we close with our BFPs or BFNs of the week. Let’s get started.

Hello, everyone. This is episode 278. Hi, Shanna.

Shanna:

Hellooooooooooooo.

Laura:

That’s spooky. Does that mean that this episode is coming out on Halloween week?

Shanna:

It does. And we love Halloween at BFP.

Laura:

We do. It’s a fun time of year.

Shanna:

It is.

Laura:

So the question everyone wants to know is what are you guys doing for Halloween costumes this year?

Shanna:

So CeCe really is still into Bluey, so she wants to be Bingo. And, she really tried to get the whole family on board with this, having Elle be Bluey and us be the parents. Elle has other ideas. She really wants to be Jasmine from Aladdin.

Laura:

I wonder why.

Shanna:

You know what? I bet you can’t guess why.

Laura:

Is it because a certain member of your family is named Jasmine?

Shanna:

Our new cat. No. She actually chose this before we named her Jasmine.

Laura:

Really?

Shanna:

She wants to be Jasmine because she really wants to wear a crop top.

Laura:

That’s hysterical. Hysterical.

Shanna:

She just is super duper into crop tops.

Laura:

Oh my gosh. So funny.

Shanna:

So we got her little Jasmine costume. So Steve is gonna be Raja, which is Jasmine’s tiger. And I’m gonna be Chili, which is Bingo’s mom. So we’re doing themed costumes, but separately from each other.

Laura:

I like it. It’s a good compromise right there.

Shanna:

Yeah. The costume I got is hilarious. It’s like a big cozy onesie, and it’s totally generic. I got it from Alibaba. It’s the only place I could find it. And the nose is hilariously long. It’s just so silly.

But Cece loves it, and that’s what I’m here for.

Laura:

Wonderful.

Shanna:

What about you guys? What are you doing?

Laura:

Well, Corey and I have no plans for ourselves because, I don’t know, I just it’s so hard for me to get up the energy to do anything at this point that I’m just like, oh we’ll focus on the kids, which is so not like me. Right? I love dressing up in costumes and stuff, but I think part of it is that I’m not super enthusiastic about what the kids wanna do. You know? Also, it’s unclear exactly what the kids wanna do because my hope was that they were gonna pick from one of the dozens of costumes they already have. Which I think is the economical good choice. Right? We have so many costumes.

Shanna:

Yeah. We know that you stocked up this summer at Costco on costumes.

Laura:

Yes. And I even got another one from Costco this week because I went and they had a few left, and they were on sale for $18. So here, I’m gonna send you a picture of the one I got, and you can see why I couldn’t pass it up.

Shanna:

Okay. Let’s see. Oh my gosh. How cute is that little astronaut? Oh my gosh. Sebastian’s little eyes peeking out of that helmet. That is adorable. Okay. So he doesn’t wanna be an astronaut for Halloween?

Laura:

No. He wants to be a fucking garbage truck, Shanna. And, so I have to decide if he’s serious. And he’s 2-and-a half. Right? So I’m like, is he gonna remember and throw a fit on actual Halloween or the various parties we’re gonna be going to? Or is he gonna be happy with picking one of his other costumes? Or am I gonna make the freaking garbage truck costume and then he’s gonna wanna go as an astronaut instead. You know? This is a really dangerous predicament I’m in, and I don’t know what to do. So I might just break down and make a garbage truck costume out of cardboard or something.

And then Auggie changes his mind every 5 seconds. But the other day, he was like, oh, I wanna be a Ghostbuster. I’m like, oh, cool. You mean the one costume we don’t own. Right? Of course. If you look at that picture of Sebastian in his costume, in the back corner, you can see a bin. That bin is full of costumes, and we have two of them.

Shanna:

Let me see. Oh, wow. That’s a big plastic storage tub, And it’s overflowing. Absolutely overflowing.

Laura:

So the Ghostbusters thing is like, I really don’t wanna buy it. I really don’t wanna buy another costume. And also this late in the game, I’m like, are you kidding? I’m not gonna be able to find it. So I don’t know. Maybe what I could do is if I get on board with a family costume based on something we already have, maybe they’ll be more into it. That could be an idea.

Shanna:

Yeah. Alright. Well, you better get on it.

Laura:

I know. I know. It’s just one of those things where it’s like, just pick from the bin, guys. Just pick from the bin. But, anyway, I am excited for Halloween.

Shanna:

Maybe you could make it an exciting choice by doing Wheel of Names. You know? That thing on Google where you put in all the different choices and they get to spin, and whatever it lands on. That’s how we pick movies to watch sometimes. Maybe they’ll do a Halloween costume based on what the Wheel of Names picks.

Laura:

Interesting. Okay. Alright. That’s a good idea. But, anyway, we are gonna have a vaguely Halloween themed show, but we do need to do our normal check ins as well. So, Shanna, what have you been up to this week?

Shanna:

Well, speaking of costumes, Cece donned her Chase costume this week. As you recall, she was Chase for Halloween last year, so we had it on hand. She put that on so we could go see the Paw Patrol movie at the movie theater

Laura:

Yeah.

Shanna:

Which is the girl’s first time ever seeing a movie in the theater. So it was a huge deal for us.

Laura:

Oh, that’s right. Because you yourself hadn’t been to the movies since Cece was a tiny baby, right, or something like that, or you were pregnant with her?

Shanna:

Oh, thank god I saw Barbie before I saw Paw Patrol because if Paw Patrol was the first movie I had seen in the theater in 4 years that would be really sad.

Laura:

We actually have plans to go see this next weekend, so no spoilers, Shanna.

Shanna:

Oh, yeah. I know. I know you’re just dying to know what happens in this movie, Laura. I will not give any of it away.

Laura:

Funny you should mention that because I got mad at Corey earlier this week because I thought he accidentally showed the kids the new PAW Patrol movie on Paramount plus.

Shanna:

Uh-huh.

Laura:

I should have known that it wouldn’t be streaming. Right? But what happened was he put something on for the kids. I go downstairs, and I see they’re watching it, and I see the story is there’s a meteor that hits Earth, and the Paw Patrol gets turned into mighty pups. Right?

Shanna:

Right.

Laura:

Then when I was going to go buy our tickets to go see this movie next weekend, I saw the description. It was like a meteor hits Adventure City and then turns the pups into mighty pups. And I was like, what? Did Corey spoil the movie experience for us? And I’m texting. I’m like, did you show the kids the new Paw Patrol movie? He’s like, oh, maybe. I don’t know. And I was like, you weren’t supposed to do that. And I’m getting all mad. It turns out they had just put out a special that is weirdly similar to the plot line of this new movie, apparently.

Shanna:

Well, there are Mighty Pups episodes where a meteor comes and they get superpowers and stuff. So it is similar. I can see what you’re talking about. But, yeah, it’s a different storyline for the movie.

Laura:

Phew. Phew. Yeah. That would have been a bad moment for our marriage. That’s all I’m saying.

Shanna:

Yeah. Yeah. Seriously. People have broken up over worse things. Okay. So It was so fun taking the girls to the theater. They knew about it all week. We promised to take them on opening weekend.

We had our tickets ahead of time, so they knew it was coming. Cece dressed up as Chase and got so much attention. Everyone thought she looked so cute. Here. I’m gonna send you a picture.

Laura:

Alright. Let’s see. Oh, there’s Cece in her full Chase costume with the hat and everything. She looks so happy. Oh, you guys went to the fancy movie theater with the cushy seats.

Shanna:

Oh, yes. Yes. And they kicked their feet up, leaned back. They had their popcorn. At one point, I looked over and this is how they were on their chairs. Let me show you this pic.

Laura:

Okay. So they have the foot rest up and their head and arms are on the footrest. They’re on their bellies with their feet up totally like this is at home watching TV. Oh my gosh. So funny.

Shanna:

And I really, really liked the movie. I was so happy that the protagonist for this one was Skye. So it was very female centric. You know? A big complaint with Paw Patrol is that there’s so many boy dogs, and in the first movie, Chase was the main character. And, so I didn’t know what this one would be like, but I really, really appreciated that. You know? It was about a girl, and they love that too, and it was just so fun. We had a great time.

Laura:

That’s good to hear. I just assumed I’d be going and not enjoying the movie next week, but now I’m hopeful that maybe I’ll actually enjoy watching the movie too.

Shanna:

Yeah. Well, you might nod off a couple times. I definitely nodded off. I looked over at one point, and Steve had his eyes closed. And he looked very tired. But that’s the beauty of going to a kid’s movie. You can kinda just take a rest yourself as well.

Laura:

Oh, nap time. Okay. You’re really selling this for me. Awesome. So okay. I will definitely be checking in next week to let you know how we fared at the movie.

Shanna:

Okay. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Indeed. For now, what is your check-in for the week?

Laura:

So the reason we didn’t go opening weekend to the Paw Patrol movie is because my mom and Doodles are back in town this week.

Shanna:

Oh, okay.

Laura:

They went up to Fresno for a little bit, and now they’re back at their apartment. And, it’s been fun. It’s so interesting because it’s like I actually feel like I see them so much less now that they have their own apartment next door because they’re not in my living room. But it’s totally fine and fun, and we’ve been putting furniture together and stuff for them. And, yeah, it’s just been a fun little visit. But my mom declined to see the Paw Patrol movie. I told her I said, oh we really wanna go see the Paw Patrol movie. We’re making plans, but you’re gonna be in town. What do you think? And she was like, Paw Patrol. Don’t think I wanna see that. I was like, okay. We’ll go next weekend. The kids won’t know the difference.

But speaking of movies, the one thing I wanted to check-in about this week is a very spooky development, which is Sebastian’s new obsession with the movie, The Nightmare Before Christmas.

Shanna:

Oh, he likes it?

Laura:

Obsessed, Shanna, the first thing he says when he wakes up is he goes, “night night kisspice. Night night kisspice.” He begs to hear the songs all the time. There’s this 9 foot tall animatronic Jack Skellington you can buy for 1,000 dollars at Home Depot. Have you seen this thing?

Shanna:

No. I haven’t been to Home Depot recently, but I can imagine it.

Laura:

It’s totally bonkers, but someone has one on the street we take to go to Sebastian’s preschool. And so every day, he’s like, I see Jack. I see Jack. He gets so excited. And before bedtime, he asks for the song. So I have to memorize the lyrics of these songs and sing in a whisper lullaby voice like, this is Halloween. This is Halloween pumpkin scream in the dead of night.

And if I get it wrong, he corrects me. It’s so funny. But what I wanted to check-in about is this weird disparity between his love for that movie, which I held off on showing both him and Auggie, because I thought it would be too spooky. I thought it would be too scary, but they freaking love this thing. And at the same time, Sebastian is terrified of Halloween decorations that we see out and about.

Shanna:

Really?

Laura:

Yeah. It’s kinda wild to me because I mean, I don’t really know. I like Nightmare Before Christmas too, but I do find it kinda spooky. But there’s this house on the corner that the boys call the spooky house. And Auggie always wants to stop and look at it, and it’s got, like basically, you can tell they’ve been stocking up on cheap dollar store Halloween decorations for years. And every year, they just add to it.

Shanna:

Oh, yeah. That’s my style.

Laura:

And it’s a complete hodgepodge of skeletons and bones and random ghosts and random clowns and stuff. And a lot of them are kinda scary. Auggie loves them, loves it, and wants to stand there and stare at it all day like a weirdo. But Sebastian is visibly scared by it, and he doesn’t wanna stand there. And he goes, go now. Go now. Oh. But he’s standing there.

But one thing that happened this week was he started figuring out a way to ramp himself up and psych himself up to go see this house, which I find super interesting from a developmental perspective.

Shanna:

What does he do?

Laura:

So when we would go see the house in the past and he’d be scared. I tell him it’s okay to be scared, but it’s also all pretend. It’s not real. It’s just for fun. It’s just pretend. It’s not real. And The other day, we were walking by the house, and Auggie wanted to stay and look at it, so he stayed with Corey. And I walked on with Sebastian because he was like, go now.

Go now. And he’s shaking. He’s really scared. And we were waiting in the front of our house for Corey to come back because he had the key, and Sebastian says, I want to go back. I won’t go back. Spooky house. Spooky house. And I was like, really, honey? I thought you were scared of the spooky house.

I want to go back. And he goes, not real. It’s not real over and over. And he was totally building up his courage to go back. And I was like, okay. You really wanna go back? He’s like, yeah. Yeah. It’s not real. It’s not real. And we went back, and he was able to look at it. And I was like, wow. Growth. So interesting.

Shanna:

No kidding. That’s so cool.

Laura:

Isn’t that neat? I was so proud of him. So, we are building up our resilience over here with the spookiness, and, yeah, there’s just a lot of, What’s this? What’s this? There’s magic in the air over here. Lots of Nightmare Before Christmas.

Shanna:

I need to use that same technique with my girls because I don’t know if you remember when I talked about this candy bowl that we have that has a skeleton head and the teeth clatter and stuff, and the girls hated it. And were so terrified of it last year. I’m like, oh, I’ll try bringing it out again this year. Well, we brought it out, and they were so scared. They’re like, oh my god. Put it away. And it wasn’t even turned on.

And then Steve’s like, what? What? And he was shaking it for some reason, and it goes off and they started hysterically crying. And I was like, oh, wow. No resilience has been built with my kids. None.

Laura:

They’re just traumatized. Yeah. I mean, I don’t know. I was surprised. I knew that sort of in the long term, it might work, but I didn’t expect to see such a quick turnaround from him. You know? And him repeating it back. Those are just like those wonderful moments of parenting where you’re just like, it’s working, where they actually repeat something that you said back to them. Like, oh, you are listening, and this is working.

So, yeah, I would say it’s okay to be scared, but it’s not real. It’s not real. It’s not real.

Shanna:

Oh, so satisfying. Good job, Laura.

Laura:

Thank you. But, anyway, that is it for me. I think we should move on to our spooky special segment. Oh. Yes. We should.

Shanna:

We’re back, and this week’s special segment is Stump the Moms, where Laura and I grill each other with trivia questions. And because this is our special Halloween edition, and Halloween is so popular with parents and kids around the world, we thought we would make our trivia questions Halloween based. So here we go. Laura, you’re up first. What you got for me?

Laura:

Okay. So we all know that bats are a spooky staple of Halloween. The smallest bat in the world is the kitty hognosed bat that’s about an inch long and weighs less than a penny. And I gotta say, it’s So cute. It fits on the end of your finger. It’s so cute.

Shanna:

What? That’s so tiny.

Laura:

It’s so tiny. Okay? But on the other end of the spectrum is the biggest bat species, the flying fox. So, Shanna, tell me, how big is this bat’s wingspan? Is it 8 to 12 inches? Is it 2 to 3 feet, or is it 5 to 6 feet?

Shanna:

Oh god. Well, 5 to 6 feet sounds absolutely terrifying, and I would not wanna encounter that bat. But if it’s called a fox bat, I would imagine its body is probably foxy, foxish, around the size of a fox. And if the wings needed to carry that size and weight, two and a half feet of wingspan on either side of the body. I mean, that could realistically be possible. The smallest one doesn’t sound like it would be the biggest bat in the world. So I’m eliminating that. I’m gonna go with the biggest one.

Laura:

Ding ding ding. That is correct.

Shanna:

Oh my gosh.

Laura:

I’m gonna send you a picture of the flying fox bat. They’re found in Southeast Asia.

Shanna:

Oh, thank you. You’re gonna fuel my nightmares. Thank you.

Laura:

I think they’re cool. I don’t know. It’s not like they’re not vampire bats just to be clear. So they’re not gonna attack you.

Shanna:

Oh my god. That’s really big. That definitely looks like a Halloween decoration and not like a real living creature. That is pretty cool.

Laura:

Yeah. They’re cool animals. And I’m also gonna send you a picture of the kitty hognose bat because oh my god. It’s so cute. It’s also called the bumblebee bat.

Shanna:

Okay. Let’s oh my god. That’s adorable. It’s so tiny. It almost looks like a little frog with ears.

Laura:

Yeah. A little frog with ears. It’s a mammal. They’re such interesting animals. Do you know why bats are associated with Halloween supposedly?

Shanna:

No. Sure don’t.

Laura:

So the original festival that ended up becoming Halloween, there were lots of bonfires, and the bonfires would attract mosquitoes, and then the bats would come to eat the mosquitoes. And so that’s why people associate bats with Halloween, supposedly.

Shanna:

Oh, that’s good. Better than associating it with mosquitoes.

Laura:

I mean, mosquitoes are truly spooky, way more than bats.

Shanna:

Blood suckers.

Laura:

Yeah. They’re actual blood suckers. They spread diseases way more than bats.

Shanna:

We should have mosquitoes up on our walls for Halloween. I’m just gonna make a
bunch of mosquito decorations.

Laura:

That is literally giving me the chills right now. They’re intense.

Shanna:

It’s terrifying.

Laura:

Yeah. Alright. You got the first question, so now it’s my turn to answer.

Shanna:

According to Google Frightgeist, which is a site from Google Trends that tracks the top costumes that people are searching for nationally and locally. Which costume is not in the top 10 nationally? A, cowboy, B, bunny, C, Taylor Swift.

Laura:

Oh. Okay. I’m eliminating Taylor Swift because she’s very hot right now, and everyone wants to be Taylor Swift. And even if they’re not going to Halloween parties. They’re probably gonna be going to the Eras tour movie. So, I’m gonna eliminate Taylor Swift. So it’s down to cowboys or bunnies. I feel like people dress up as bunnies on Easter, not on Halloween, so I’m gonna say bunnies.

Shanna:

I thought this one might get you because it was really surprising to me that Bunny was in the top 10.

Laura:

That is surprising.

Shanna:

Yeah. It’s number 10, and Taylor Swift was number 20, actually. The top 10 right now are Barbie, princess, Spider Man, witch, fairy, Wednesday Addams, dinosaur, ninja, cowboy, and bunny.

Laura:

Wow. I mean, Bunny, I was close because Bunny was dead last on that top 10 list. So Yeah. Yeah. But, and honestly, I feel like in my circles, Taylor might rank higher in my sampling because in my friend group, there’s a lot of Taylor Swift love.

Shanna:

Yeah. Definitely. And it might have varied by state. You know? I was looking at nationally, so I guess a lot of people across the country want to be bunnies. Alright. Alright. Alright. What do you got?

Laura:

Okay. So I’ve discussed this on the show, I think that Auggie is obsessed with film scores. Right? We always have to listen to film scores. And this has led him to lobby to watch movies that are way too scary for him. Most mornings, he says he wants to listen to a new soundtrack. So I’m having to go deep in the Spotify soundtrack section to get new material for him. And then he wants to know what’s happening in these movies, and some of them are just way too scary for him. Right? And I recently discovered that one of these movies that he is obsessed with trying to see, actually is the highest grossing horror movie of all time if you adjust it for inflation.

So the question is, what movie is that? Is it It, Jaws, or The Exorcist?

Shanna:

Oh, the original It? Wasn’t there a remake recently?

Laura:

You’re right. You know what? I’m actually gonna say the new It.

Shanna:

Okay. It, Jaws or what was the last one?

Laura:

The Exorcist.

Shanna:

The Exorcist. Oh, wow. I’m feeling like maybe Jaws because sharks are widely appreciated. I feel like Demon possession, maybe not as a popular topic that people would run out and see. Same with clowns living in gutters. It’s so Jaws.

Laura:

You are correct.

Shanna:

Oh, yay.

Laura:

So the new It is actually the highest grossing film not adjusted for inflation. It made something like 700 something $1,000,000, but Jaws, which came out in 1975, grossed $476,500,000 at the box office. Uh-huh. But the source I found said if a 2023 movie sold the same amount of tickets that Jaws did. It would end up grossing $1,154,000,000.

Shanna:

Oh my word.

Laura:

Which is amazing.

Shanna:

People want to see killer sharks. That’s just that’s all there is to it.

Laura:

They do. And so we’ll be listening to Jaws on the way to school, and Auggie will be like, mama, what’s happening? Mama, what’s happening? And I’ll be like, so, there’s some people swimming. Oh. And I’ve had to have a whole talk with him about how sharks are actually really good, and they don’t usually attack people, and this is just a movie. They just do it for the movie. And I try to make it very PG, but there’s only so many ways you can say people get eaten by sharks. But now he knows the whole plotline to all these movies that are so inappropriate for him.

He knows Jurassic Park. He knows Jaws. Like, he knows that at the end of Jaws, this freaking shark gets blown up by someone shooting like a gas canister in the spot. You are not even 5 yet. This is insane.

Shanna:

Wow. And good on you for remembering all these plot points because I’m like, if someone asked me, I’d be like, there was a bad shark in the ocean, and people’s vacations were ruined. I wouldn’t even remember what to say about that.

Laura:

I can’t do most of them. And, honestly, he gets so mad. He’ll be like, mama, what’s happening here? And I’ll be like, I don’t remember. We were listening to ET, the soundtrack between ET. And I’m like, I don’t know. There was ET, and he’s an alien. And then Elliott finds him, and Drew Barrymore is adorable. I don’t know.

Shanna:

He’s eating Reese’s Pieces.

Laura:

There’s Reese’s Pieces. Yeah. That into a whole discussion of what are Reese’s Pieces. I’m like, I failed you. I failed you as a mother. But, then Corey is in the car with us, and he remembers every little thing. He’s like, well the spaceship lands, and they’re gathering samples. And then one of them, their chest starts glowing, and that’s how they just communicate with each other.

And I am just like, how do you remember? Wow. Corey is a movie guy, though. You know? Anyway, you got that one right too, which means you are ahead. So I need to do some work on these next questions.

Shanna:

Alright. Let’s see if you can catch up. Okay. So we all know that candy is a huge part of Halloween. According to candystore.com, which is a company that delivers and distributes bulk candy, based on sales, which of the following is the most hated Halloween candy in America? A, candy corn, B, circus peanuts, C, Smarties.

Laura:

Okay. It can’t be Smarties because they’re delicious, and anyone who thinks they’re bad can just get out of town. Okay? They’re delicious.

Shanna:

Agreed. Agreed. I love Smarties.

Laura:

They’re so good. I mean, they’re just like delicious tart sweet okay. So Smarties just logically cannot be on that list. Okay? Oh, circus peanuts. I know people hate candy corn, and also I can see why they would hate circus peanuts. Personally, I love all candy, so I could not make a choice here. I feel like I’ve heard so much more about people who hate candy corn. Right? It’s a divisive topic.

I haven’t seen any think pieces about why circus peanuts are bad. Right? No one’s getting clicks on that. I don’t even know if the next gen like, does Gen Z even know what a circus peanut is, is my question. I haven’t seen them around lately, so I’m gonna have to go with candy corn.

Shanna:

I’m so sorry you’re wrong again. So close, though.

Laura:

It’s circus peanuts, isn’t it?

Shanna:

It’s circus peanuts.

Laura:

I haven’t seen them in forever. I guess people hate them, so they’re out there.

Shanna:

I think you’re on the right track with maybe it’s not that they’re hated, but this generation doesn’t buy them as much. Candy corn was the top for 4 years, and circus peanuts has outpaced candy corn as most hated. So you’re very, very close. Smarties was on the top 10, though. It was like number 8.

Laura:

Well, to be fair let’s talk about trying to pick at least like candy. It’s like, okay. I guess I’ll eat it if I really have to. That’s a short list. Right? So something good has to end up on that list because there’s not 10 bad candies, are there? What else is on the list?

Shanna:

A lot of the things on the list felt a little bit more old fashioned maybe. One of them was Cola bottles. I’m like, that sounds like something from the 1950s. Tootsie Rolls.

Laura:

Necco wafers?

Shanna:

Necco wafers, yeah. That kind of stuff, which is like, yeah. More people are gonna get Reese’s peanut butter cups and that stuff.

Laura:

I thought for sure you were gonna say Almond Joy.

Shanna:

I love Almond Joy. Are you kidding me?

Laura:

I’m not saying anything bad about Almond Joy. I’m just saying, Corey, last night, We bought a big bag of candy from Costco, in theory to give out, but it’s almost gone now. And last night after dinner, I was like, I’m gonna get some candy. Do you want any? And he’s like, anything but almond joy. I was like Really? Really? Come on, almond joy.

Shanna:

I like it. What about mounds? Does he hate mounds too?

Laura:

I don’t think he likes the coconut. You know?

Shanna:

Oh, the coconut. Coconut is divisive. I love a coconut candy.

Laura:

Me too. Me too. Me too. Well, okay. I am failing.

Shanna:

Alright. Well, this makes me wanna run out and buy some circus peanuts.

Laura:

I like the texture. Is that weird?

Shanna:

Oh, me too.

Laura:

Alright. Well, I don’t think I can win, but let’s see if you can get a clean sweep.

Shanna:

Okay.

Laura:

Okay, Shanna. Belsnickeling, also called pell snickling, was an old custom..

Shanna laughs

Laura:

Just roll with it. Roll with it. Okay?

Shanna:

I’m sorry. I can’t stop laughing.

Laura:

You gotta give me a second.

Shanna:

Okay. You can’t say belsnickeling to me without me chuckling for a good minute. Okay?

Laura:

Okay. Would you like it to be spelled out?

Shanna:

Yeah.

Laura:

B e l s n i c k e l i n g. Belsnickeling, but also called pell snickling. Okay? It was an old custom that migrated to Western Virginia with early German and Pennsylvania Dutch settlers.

But tell me, Shanna, what is belsnickeling?

Shanna:

Alright. I’m ready.

Laura:

Okay. Is it the old German word for carving jack-o’-lanterns? Is it an early precursor to trick or treating? Or is it the act of adorning clothing and costumes with jangling bells done to ward off evil spirits?

Shanna:

Well, bells…l the bell connection. That makes me wanna lean towards C. I love the idea of trick or treating originally being called belsnickeling. That would just be amazing. I feel like I read that jack-o-lanterns are actually from the Irish. Maybe not so much German. Gosh. You know, I’m gonna go with the bells.

Laura:

No clean sweep for you, Shanna.

Shanna:

Oh, shucks.

Laura:

In fact, it was an early precursor to trick or treating. I’m gonna send you an article on this. The article opens, imagine a group of strange people dressed in outrageous costumes and hideous masks speeding on your door and windows on Christmas or New Year’s Eve demanding to be let in. Imagine them invading your house then threatening and even swatting your children with switches.

Shanna:

Oh!

Laura:

It’s not a horror movie, but the German tradition of belsnickeling.

Shanna:

Great tradition.

Laura:

Bizarrely costumed belsnickelers would enter homes and tell the children in raspy disguised voices that they knew when they were naughty.

Shanna:

Oh my word.

Laura:

They would then throw a handful of fruit or candy on the floor and then swat the kids on the back as a punishment for their greed when they reached for it.

Shanna:

Oh my gosh. Oh, wow.

Laura:

So I sent you this article about it, and there was a picture of some belsnicklers from about 1910.

Shanna:

Oh, this is gonna be terrifying. I can just imagine. Let me see. Okay. Oh, for the love of… what are these creepy-ass masks with wide ass eyes? This is so scary, and these look like adults.

Laura:

Yeah. Oh, yeah. That was the other thing about it. They were adults doing this. It was adults.

Shanna:

That’s just sick and twisted. I’m not into belsnickling anymore.

Laura:

And I can’t really figure out the point of it. Apparently, there was a game where if the adults figured out who you were, I don’t know, they have to make you leave or something. And apparently, they would also do this sometimes around other people’s weddings. They would show up and basically require an alcoholic libation before they would leave. I don’t really get it, but that is apparently one of the supposed origins of trick or treating, at least in this part of the country.

Shanna:

Well, I’m glad that tradition has fallen by the wayside. I find it more endearing to take my children out Dressed as adorable pups than the thought of Steve and Corey dressing up as crazed scarecrows and whipping children in other people’s houses. You know?

Laura:

On Christmas too. And on Christmas. You don’t wanna bring it back as a tradition?

Shanna:

No. No. I don’t think so. I don’t think so.

Laura:

Oh, man. Anyway, the more you know. Do you have one more question for me, see if I can redeem myself by getting at least one right?

Shanna:

Yes. Yes. Here we go. So I’m sure we’re both familiar with candy tampering myths and the fear that people mess with kids’ Halloween candy, put razor blades, needles, whatever in them. They are myths for the most part, but several events in the late 20th century fostered the modern day candy tampering myth. One of these events includes a disgruntled Long Island woman in 1964 who gave out packages of inedible objects to children who she believed were too old to be trick or treating, and she was prosecuted for this. So here’s my question.

Which of the following items did she give to children?

Laura:

Okay.

Shanna:

A, steel wool, dog biscuits, and ant poison? B, pebbles, rabbit pellets, and popcorn kernels, or C, rotten potatoes, plant fertilizer, and sticks?

Laura:

Oh my god. Okay. They all sound plausible in the same kind of sane way. Right? None of these are a logical collection of things to give to kids. Prosecuted for it makes me think that maybe something was inherently dangerous. And for some reason, I don’t think steel wool would have come to mind while you were writing these answers. For some reason, I just feel like no one’s really got steel wool on their mind these days, so I’m gonna go with steel wool because it seems the most left field.

Shanna:

Yay.

Laura:

I got one right? Yay. Woo hoo.

Shanna:

Steel wool dog biscuits, and, the article said ant buttons, which I was like, what in the hell are ant buttons? And it’s like little buttons of poison. So, ant poison. Apparently, no kids were actually injured by any of this stuff. Thank goodness. But the fact that she was giving it out got her in trouble. So I guess there are some wacky people out there, at least in the past, that would try to do things to Halloween trick or treaters.

Laura:

I feel like you know how we have Ebenezer Scrooge as a character that represents people who are just not in the Christmas spirit. Right? And you’d be like, don’t be such a Scrooge if you’re a person who does that. There needs to be a term for people who can’t get into the Halloween spirit. Right? I guess we should figure out this woman’s name, and she could be the representative.

Shanna:

Oh, wow. I wish I knew her name. Yeah. Or maybe we should just be like, don’t be such a piece of steel wool.

Laura:

Abrasive and too abrasive for your pots and pans. I actually did see a really funny TikTok recently, that was a close-up of a Reese’s cup, and they’re like, guys, you gotta check your kid’s Halloween candy. You know, it’s so important. They open it up, and as they open it up and smooshed the peanut butter cup, a library card was inside, and they’re like, oh, they’re hiding full size library cards and your kids’ candy these days.

Shanna:

Ha. That’s good.

Laura:

But, I don’t know why, it makes me itch just thinking about it. I don’t know. Is it just me?

Shanna:

I picture the sound of it scraping on something, and it just gives a chill up my back.

Laura:

No good. No good. Well, that is spooky. That’s a spooky thing to end on. What’s spookier for me is that you won, hands down, 2 questions to 1. So congratulations.

Shanna:

Thank you. Good game, my friend. Good game.

Laura:

Yes. Yes. I will try to win next time. But in the meantime, should we take a break and come back with our final segment?

Okay. We are back, and we close our show every week with a big fat positive or a big fat negative. And, Shanna, you are up first. What you got?

Shanna:

I have a BFP. So this week was Steve’s birthday.

Laura:

Yay. Yay. Happy birthday, Steve.

Shanna:

So it was fun. We just kinda decorated the house, and I made cupcakes for him and everything for the day-of, which was nice. But the really fun thing was that this weekend, after we went to the Paw Patrol movie, our idea was to go to dinner, the four of us, at a Korean barbecue restaurant nearby, and it was wonderful. I mean, the food was unbelievable. And the kids were pretty good. We got a huge booth and we trapped them in the inside of the booth. Yeah. So they couldn’t get out and run around.

They wanted to. They tried, but they were pretty well behaved, anditt was really fun to go somewhere as a family. You know, the kids are getting older, and that was really nice. And to really start appreciating what’s available in our neighborhood. You know, sometimes I’m like, oh, I miss my old neighborhood, and I think about what was back there instead of opening my mind up to new great stuff up here. And, this was just amazing. Super delicious, and we both loved it. And, yeah, it was just a great time.

Laura:

What did the girls eat there? Because that would be my concern is that Auggie wouldn’t have anything he could eat or rather would eat, I should say. Sebastian would probably eat everything. He actually loves bulgogi.

Shanna:

Oh, it’s so good. Oh my god. They ate a little bit of a lot of stuff. They liked the meats. The chodol was really good. They really like that. We got some appetizers. It’s like an all you can eat place. You can order as much as you want. And, we got these little chicken poppers. We got some dumplings. There was salad. To be honest, they didn’t eat a lot, but they don’t eat a lot anyway. They just kind of picked at it and stuff, but neither of them complained about the food. And they ate a lot of rice and rice paper. You know? At the Korean barbecue restaurants, you get the little rice papers that you wrap it in.

Laura:

So good.

Shanna:

They like just eating those plain.

Laura:

Well, I’m at the point where if they eat anything, thing. It’s a win, so that’s good to hear. Yeah. I’m so glad it was fun.

Shanna:

Yeah. And it’s just such a fun thing to cook the food right in the middle of the table. And I haven’t been to Korean barbecue in a really long time, so it was just like, yay!

Laura:

I love Korean barbecue, and I haven’t been in forever for kid reasons. And, I wanna go. It’s so good.

Shanna:

I will go with you anytime because, yeah, I’m into it big time. And I got this delicious lychee, soju. So good. Okay. Now I’m hungry.

Laura:

Now I wanna go do this today for lunch.

Shanna:

Okay. Come on over. Let’s do it.

Laura:

Okay.

Shanna:

Alright. That’s mine. What do you got for us?

Laura:

I also have a BFP. And mine is something I’m doing for myself literally only for myself and only for fun, which is why I have started dabbling in gelli plate printing. Do you know about this?

Shanna:

What? No. What is this?

Laura:

Okay. So my TikTok algorithm correctly pegged me as someone who would be very interested in gelli printing, which is a type of printmaking that uses a gelatin plate. Just basically I bought an 8 by 10, 8 inch by 10 inch plate, which is like a jiggly, very firm jello, essentially. That’s obviously reusable. This is actually made with gelatin, but it’s really firm. And you roll paint onto it, and you can do transfers from laser printers, or collages. You can make, like you can press things into it to make textures, and then you can create all kinds of really cool patterns or art prints.

And I’ve been obsessed for a couple weeks. I’ve been going down the TikTok rabbit hole just researching all this gelli plate stuff, and finally last weekend was just like, kids, who wants to go to Michael’s and get a gelli plate with me? So we all went to Michael’s with my mom too, and I got this gelli plate, and I’ve made a couple prints. Do you wanna see?

Shanna:

Yeah. Why have you not invited me over to partake in this arts and crafts endeavor?

Laura:

Well, I just started, so I didn’t even know If I’d be any good at it or how it works. So I’ve literally made 3 prints so far. That’s it. And I think you’d probably have to get your own gel plate because you can kinda only do 1 at a time, but you should absolutely come over and do this with me.

Shanna:

Alright. Let’s see.

Laura:

So I sent you some pictures of the final prints, but I also sent you some time lapses I took of my process.

Shanna:

Okay. Oh, that’s cool. It’s like a skeleton longingly looking at a skull with a very cool turquoise background with stars or something. Oh, and Dracula and Jack Skellington.

Laura:

You’ll see a theme. I decided to try to use it to make spooky season decor around the house.

Shanna:

Awesome. Alright. Let’s see this time lapse. Oh, okay. Oh, a hairdryer is involved.

Laura:

It doesn’t have to be, But I discovered that you have to let the different paint layers dry between layers basically. So, the hairdryer really helped because I think I was putting it on too thick.

Shanna:

Okay. And then you put a very heavy thing on top to press it down and the final result. Awesome. Let me see this other one.

Laura:

Yeah. I put a big heavy book and the kids’ kinetic sandbox on top.

Shanna:

Oh, is that what it was?

Laura:

I’ve seen on TikTok you need to do a weighted dry. You don’t actually have to, but the transfer works better if you do. So the process is you put a thin layer of paint down. And then if you have magazines or laser printed something, what happens is that anywhere there’s ink repels the paint and everywhere else gets sucked up so you can make a little transfer. Right? So then you let that dry and you paint layers on top of it to add color. And then the very final layer, you do a whole layer of either wet paint or a gel medium. And that wetness, and then you put the paper down right away.

And that wetness bonds with the paper. And once it dries, the paper picks up everything you’ve done below it and picks it up off of the gel plate so then you have your print. So it’s like reverse painting kind of.

Shanna:

Oh, wow. So the gel thing can be reused over and over?

Laura:

Yes. Yeah. You either can wash it under water or just wipe it with a baby wipe, actually, which I have plenty of.

Shanna:

Who comes up with this stuff? That just seems complicated.

Laura:

It does, but it’s actually really fun to do and not too hard. I’m not much of a visual artist, I feel like I can’t draw that well. So it’s great. The skeleton contemplating another skull is actually from the New York Public Library public domain collection. I found this old photo. You know? I found this old print in their collection of spooky skeletons. And so I printed that out on my laser printer and did it. So it’s good for those of us who are not super skilled at drawing photo realistically.

Shanna:

Yeah. Definitely. But then there’s the creative aspect of picking the colors and the overall composition and stuff.

Laura:

Yeah. And I wanna do some more stuff with texturizing and collage and stuff. So you should come over, and we should do that together.

Shanna:

Yes. I would love to. That sounds super fun.

Laura:

And the plate I got is 27.99 at Michaels, but it was 50% off. you know how there’s always coupons at Michaels and Joann’s? So I got the Gelli brand, g e l l i, but you can also get more generic ones off Amazon. And, yeah, you reuse them over and over and over.

Shanna:

Cool. That sounds fun. Well, I’m so glad that you’re doing this. It’s always nice to have a little arts and crafts project that’s just for you. It’s not like you’re trying to get your kids to do it with you and then you get distracted you know? It’s just nice to do something for yourself.

Laura:

Yeah. Exactly. Anytime I try to do art in front of them, they wanna do it themselves, which is great. I love involving them, but sometimes I just wanna do my own damn crafts. You know?

Shanna:

Yes. It’s satisfying. When I was making those wands with those other adult women, just focusing on that and not having a kid be like, I wanna try it. It was really nice.

Laura:

Yeah. Exactly. So that was my BFP, and I think that’s it for this week, unless you have a 5 star review for us.

Shanna:

Oh, I do. This review is from BritBritG. The title of the review is Love, Love, Love This Podcast. Five stars. “I’m currently 21 weeks, and I’ve been listening to this podcast almost every single day since finding out was pregnant at around 5 weeks. The hosts are really funny and keep it real and just seem like the kind of people I’d love to have a cup of coffee with. 100% would recommend to all expecting mothers.” Aw. Thank you, BritBritG. Thank you. I would love to have a cup of coffee with you too.

Listeners, if you haven’t had a chance yet to leave us a 5 star review, could you please do us a favor? Head on over to Apple Podcasts, leave 5 stars, say a couple things you love about this show, and we might read it on an upcoming episode. And if you have any spooky trivia you wanna share with us or let us know what you’re gonna do on Halloween. You know we wanna know. Laura, where can everyone reach us?

Laura:

We’re on TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook at @bfppodcast. We have a website, bigfatpositivepodcast.com. If you wanna send us an email, just send it to contact at big fat positive podcast.com. And always remember, you can throw a voice memo in there. We love those. And if you’re dying for some exclusive content from me and Shanna and you wanna join the coolest group of people on the Internet, just search Facebook for big fat positive community. It’s a private group, so you have to request to join, answer those 2 membership questions so we know you’re not a robot. And once you do that, you’ll be sent straight through to all the wonderful amazing conversations we’re having in there.

Shanna:

Our show is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thanks for listening, everyone. Have a big fat spooky week. Bye.