Ep. 277 – Mom Wins: Creative Problem Solving

Shanna:

Hi. Welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. On this week’s episode, we have our weekly check-ins. We have our special segment, Mom Wins, where we talk about bathroom brilliance and couch crashing. And we wrap it up with our weekly BFP and BFN. Let’s get started. Hi, welcome to episode 277.

Hey, Laura.

Laura:

Hi, Shanna.

Shanna:

How are you? What’s going on in your world?

Laura:

Well, my wrists hurt really bad. That’s what’s going on in my world. And my elbows and my shoulders.

Shanna:

Have you been working out hard? Have you taken up CrossFit?

Laura:

No, it’s closer to cross stitching.

Shanna:

Okay. I’m sensing maybe some knitting.

Laura:

Yes, indeed. So as people probably know, I have a history of being a knitting designer. I wrote a knitting book in 2008, and I’ve put out knitting patterns in the past, but one thing I haven’t done is put out a knitting pattern since having kids, and that changed this week.

Shanna:

Okay, why?

Laura:

Well, because I made a decision I came to regret a couple of months ago. Which was I got a call for submissions from this knitting company, this yarn company that I work for a lot called KnitPicks. Or I used to work for them a lot, I should say. And I’m still on their mailing list for when they have submission requests. What they’ll do is they will have a yarn line that they want to promote, right? So they’ll say we’re looking for patterns in this particular yarn that feature multiple colors, that are light and airy for spring or whatever, right? They have their requirements, and they ask you to submit a proposal, and then if they choose your proposal, you write the pattern and they put it on their website. And I’ve done this with them a bunch before, kids, right? I don’t even remember at this point, but I had at least four or five patterns with this one company from this whole process before I had Auggie, and it was always a super fun and pretty easy process. They were a great company to work for. And so when I saw a call for submissions a couple months ago for this one line of yarn they have called Stroll, I was like, oh, you know what I need to do? I need to just reissue a pattern that I wrote ages ago for them that is now no longer on their website, because the specific colorway that I chose is no longer available.

Shanna:

Right.

Laura:

They no longer sell the exact yarn that was called for in that pattern, so they can’t sell that pattern, if that makes sense. Okay, so I was like, oh, I’d love to get this back up. And the pattern is already written. It should be easy. I can handle that, right? The kids are in school. I can handle that level of commitment.

Shanna:

Yeah, that just sounds like a copy paste situation to me.

Laura:

And I knew there’d be some changes, right? I would need to just change the way that the color stuff was written because it’s just a little different. They used to call for an ombre, like a gradual color shift yarn, and they don’t make that anymore. So you’d have to use like five different balls of yarn to make the color changes happen.

Shanna:

Whoa.

Laura:

Okay, but that’s what they wanted, right? They wanted you to use these new little multi packs they were putting together. So I was like, perfect, this will be perfect. It won’t be that hard. Great.

Shanna:

Okay, so what are we talking about? A little beanie here? Some socks, something that you can whip out real quick?

Laura:

No, it was a full size adult cardigan with sleeves and everything.

Shanna:

With sleeves?

Laura:

Yeah, actually, like hip length too, so it’s like a long one.

Shanna:

Okay.

Laura:

Knit on fingering weight yarn, which is like very fine yarn, but on size six needles, which is more like a normal worsted weight. Anyway, the point is, I thought I could do it and they give you like, three months to get it done. So I was like, this is doable. Right? But what I didn’t calculate is two things. One is that when I used to write these patterns for KnitPicks back in the day, I was doing it for a slightly different program where they would pay you up front for the pattern and then they’d have exclusivity on it for like one or two years. But the bonus of that, the benefit of doing that, was that they did the sample knit. So they knit the one they took pictures of. They knit it, they took pictures of it.

All you had to do was write the pattern and if you wanted to, you could knit the sweater. They give you the yarn if you want it, but you don’t have to, right? Which is a big advantage.

Shanna:

Yeah.

Laura:

This particular program is called the Independent Designers Program, where they don’t pay you upfront, but you do get put into a curated selection on their website and extra featured on their website. So you get a little extra visibility and you don’t have exclusivity. You can sell it anywhere right off the bat. But the downside is you have to knit the sample and you have to take the pictures and provide them.

Shanna:

Wow. Okay. That’s putting a lot of stock in knitters to take professional level photographs.

Laura:

Well, it’s kind of part of the deal, right? When you sign up for the program, you have to agree to all these things, and one of them is like, your pictures have to be good. Right? I don’t know if I’d call them professional level all the time, but they have to be clear and nice looking. Right, but this is a lot of people’s business. They take it really seriously. And a lot of the photos that are on this program are really good. It’s not just hobbyists, but Shanna I was like, okay, three months. I don’t even have to write the pattern. The pattern is written great, right? I just have to do a little fixer upper on it, right, and do the layout.

But I was like, I could knit this sweater in three months. That’s no problem. Did I knit the sweater in three months, Shanna? Did I?

Shanna:

I bet you paced it out every day. I bet you did 20 minutes a day for three months.

Laura:

Yeah. No. So you asked what I was up to this week. I was knitting 8 hours a day, every day this week.

Shanna:

Holy smokes. Carpal tunnel fever.

Laura:

Oh, my god, I’m going to get a repetitive stress injury from this. Okay, it’s done. First of all, here, I just want to reassure anyone listening. It’s done. Okay.

Shanna:

Yay.

Laura:

It was supposed to be due on Wednesday. I did not get it done on Wednesday. On Tuesday night, it was technically Wednesday morning at like one in the morning. I just couldn’t knit anymore. And I messaged the coordinator of this program, and I was like, I am going to get you this pattern by the end of the day, I promise, but I just am not going to get it to you first thing in the morning on the day it’s due. And then I woke up to an email that was like, it’s okay. You can have till Sunday. Basically, you can have till Monday morning.

As long as it’s in my inbox Monday morning, I can get it into the collection. And I was like, cool, great. Because there was no actual way it was going to get done on Wednesday. But also, I was like, okay, so the rest of my week is going to be like this, all right? So, yeah, I literally knit nonstop while the kids weren’t around the whole week. I thought I could get a little bit more done while the kids were around, but you know what I can’t do while they’re around?

Shanna:

Knit a sweater.

Laura:

Literally anything, really, is the answer. But definitely not knit a sweater because they are way too interested in it.

Shanna:

Yeah.

Laura:

Sebastian’s like, “I help! I help! I do it!” And I’m like, honey, I really want to encourage you to want to knit, but not right now. So I quickly discovered I couldn’t do it in front of them. Another time, I tried to bring it outside while Sebastian was playing in the backyard. I thought, okay, I’ll just sit off to the side and I’ll knit. And he usually just runs around and is totally independent when he’s in the backyard. But he found the hose, and then he’s threatening to spray me while I’m knitting. And I was like, no, I can’t do this.

So, yeah, I had to do it when the kids were at school and when they were asleep. Corey kept going up to bed at 10:00 at night, and I’d be like, I’ll be up soon, and then stumbling in atone in the morning.

Shanna:

Oh, man.

Laura:

Shanna but I will say I got it done. Friday night, I think, is when I got it done. So then I was able to wash it and block it on Saturday and Sunday. I got to model it in our backyard while the kids played. And nothing makes you feel just like a really attractive, svelte model, like sitting on the couch for eight solid hours every day for a week and a half.

Shanna:

That really got you all ready for those photos. Okay, speaking of photos, I need to see pics or it didn’t happen.

Laura:

Okay, well, actually, I’m going to send you some pics that didn’t make it in the final cut.

Shanna:

Oh, exclusive content. Okay.

Laura:

I’m sending you a series of photos. You may notice a trend with these.

Shanna:

All right, let’s take a look at these photos from your modeling session. Ooh, a nice shot of the back of your knees. Corey, I assume, Corey is taking these great shots for you.

Laura:

Yeah, he’s really good at that yeah, yeah.

Shanna:

That looks about Sebastian level. Oh, here’s one of the back of your shoulders. This is going to sell the pattern so well. Laura I love it. Okay. Full body shot, including the entire backyard. Cory in the distance, and a Cozy Coupe off to the side. Oh, my gosh. And then a selfie of Auggie. Was he your photographer?

Laura:

He had to help. The whole time Corey was trying to take photos, he was like, I want to do it, I want to do it. Because Cory brought out his digital SLR. And of course, I kept being like, we got to get some good photos first, and then you can do it. And, yeah, he was just being cute. Okay, but for real, I’m going to send you the final PDF of the pattern so you can see all the work that went into it.

Shanna:

Okay. Six page PDF. Okay, the first picture is you looking very lovely in this sweater. It’s kind of a navy, royal, blue and white stripes. That is so cute.

Laura:

Thank you.

Shanna:

A little close up there. And then whoa. Lots of very tiny type and so many details. I had no idea a pattern was like this. I thought it was knit line one, knit line two.

Laura:

Knitting patterns are intense. Shanna they really, really are.

Shanna:

I am very impressed. That’s amazing. I could never do that.

Laura:

I’m sure you could with a little focus, but yeah, knitting patterns and coding are the same thing as far as I’m concerned. If you look at the pattern, you can see why I say that. It’s like you’re trying to find repeatable sections of essentially code like programs to make the sweater. Anyway, that’s another soapbox I can get on another time. But, tada, it’s done. And that’s all I did this week. The house is a fucking disaster. I mean, like actual just piles of trash in every corner.

Shanna:

Oh my god.

Laura:

The kids ate whatever got thrown together by me and Corey this week. Cause I was just like, sorry kids, gotta knit. What a weird ass way to have a distracted mom. Sorry kids, I wish I could help you out, but I’m neglecting you for my knitting.

Shanna:

Yeah, that’s so funny.

Laura:

But yeah, that’s what I did this week. Amazing. Did you do the same thing? Was your week like a total carbon copy of my week?

Shanna:

Yes. Except I knit three sweaters.

Laura:

Shanna always having to one up me.

Shanna:

Yeah, you know me. No. Okay, so no, I knit, not, nary, nil a thing, nothing. All right, we had something happen this week and I’m going to start off this segment by sending you a little video. Here you go. You don’t have to watch the whole thing because it’s actually not a little video, it’s kind of long.

Laura:

Okay, so we have a video. I’m seeing your two girls and Sasha the dog, Steve popped his head in the front door and then went back outside.

Elle (from video):

Daddy’s birthday. Daddy’s birthday is coming up. Maybe it’s a birthday cake.

Shanna:

Okay, so I secretly set up this video recording because Steve had a surprise and I wanted to record it. So I told the girls, daddy has a surprise, he is coming in with something. And then I hit record.

Laura:

Okay. All right, so Steve’s about to come in.

Shanna:

They’re getting themselves excited because they think maybe he’s going to come in with a birthday cake because his birthday is coming up. So there’s a lot of chitchat between the two of them, like, “Is it a birthday cake? I think it’s a birthday cake!”

Cece (from video):

This was Adam’s birthday cake.

Steve (from video):

Say hello to our new kitty.

Elle (from video):

Thank you, guys.

Steve (from video):

Kitties are very small and very fragile.

Elle (from video):

Wait, what about Sasha?

Steve (from video):

Gentle and quiet.

Laura:

Oh, that is the sweetest thing. Okay, so I can’t pretend I don’t know about this because obviously you told me about this the minute it happened, but why don’t you tell everyone what Steve was actually surprising the girls with?

Shanna:

Yes, it was not a birthday cake for himself, which for some reason they thought that’s what it would be. They’re very cake motivated.

Laura:

They were into it.

Shanna:

He came in with a pet carrier, and inside of it not a chocolate cake, but a kitten.

Laura:

And honestly, the cutest kitten ever. She is so tiny and adorable and is just oh my god, my heart breaks just like thinking about her because she’s just so freaking cute. Oh my gosh.

Shanna:

She’s so cute.

Laura:

So this is a big deal. How exactly did this kitten show up at your front door?

Shanna:

All right, so I think about a year ago, I don’t know, maybe two on the show, I was like, I have baby fever. I really want a kitten. And you were like, kitten? And we really dragged our feet. And then my desire kind of went away. And then for a while, I was like, maybe we want a puppy. I don’t know. But the other day in one of my mom’s groups, it’s a moms with pets group. It’s very niche.

Laura:

It’s extremely niche. It’s a subgroup of one of your other, right?

Shanna:

Yes, yes, exactly. Someone was like, hey, let’s cheer each other up and post pictures of our pets. And I’m like, yes, absolutely. So I post a picture of Sasha, and I’m like, Sasha says hi, and everyone’s posting pictures of their pets, and it’s so cute. And just throughout the day, I kind of pop back in on that thread to see everyone’s pets. And this one woman posts a picture of a tiny white with gray ears, nose tail kitten, very small. She’s like, this is our foster kitten, but we have to return her to the rescue tomorrow so she can get ready for adoption. And just all of a sudden, I was like, oh, my gosh, that kitten is like, everything I want and need in life.

And I immediately replied to her, and I was like, oh, she is so cute. Where is she up for adoption? We’ve been wanting a kitten. And she wrote back and told me where the kitten would be. And she’s like, I can put a good word in for you if you want to chat with me about her, et cetera, et cetera. Well, I never connected with the mom, but I made note of where the kitten was available and what her shelter name was, which is Cerulean, because she has blue eyes. They named her the very hoity-toity name of Cerulean.

So I told Steve about Cerulean that night. I was like, hey, this kitten, look at her. Isn’t she so cute? And he was like, yeah, I don’t know. We talked about maybe not getting a pet until Sasha was no longer with us. I’m like, I know, I know. And then the next day, I kept thinking about this cat, and I was like, I need to do a full-court press on Steve for this kitten.

He was at work that day, and I was like, hey, honey – this is by text = ey, honey, are you sure, 100% sure, you don’t want a kitten? And I sent him a picture of the kitten on the couch, and then I zoomed in on the picture and screenshot that and did a closer picture and sent him that. And then I zoomed in on her face and her blue eyes and screenshot that and sent him that. So he just got a series of zoomed in pictures of this kitten. I’m like, I really want this kitten.

And he was like, oh, she is pretty cute. And then I looked up the agency where she was at, and I realized it was three minutes from his work in West LA.

Laura:

Wow.

Shanna:

And I was like, ooh, that is a pretty cool coincidence. So I was like, she’s at Best Friends Animal Society on the West Side, and I didn’t hear from him for the rest of the day. And I was like, oh, well, I guess we don’t really need a kitten. Well, cut to later that day, about 4:00 or 5:00, Steve comes home, and us girls are outside in the front yard with Sasha, walking her around and stuff and scootering. And Steve drives up and he hops out of the car and he’s like, hey, everybody.

And I pick up Sasha’s poop, and I’m like, I’m going to go put this in the dumpster in the backyard. So I go around the car and over to the dumpster. And as I walk by the car, something catches my eye, and I do a double take, and it’s an animal crate in the front seat. And I look over, and there’s two little blue eyes staring at me from the front seat. And I was like, oh, my god.

Laura:

Oh, my god.

Shanna:

He brought the kitten home. Oh, my god.

Shanna:

I was like, Steve, what did you do? He said, I knew you just wanted it so bad. And I was like, I did. And so he surprised us with this little kitten and brought it home. And then we surprised the girls in the house with that video, and we now are the wonderful owners of a tiny little kitten.

Laura:

She is so freaking cute. And I’m dying to come up. So now that my knitting project is done, we need to get together so I can come see this cat because she’s so freaking cute. And as you know, I have been on Team Get a Kitten for years. It’s my thing. I love my kitty cats. And you know what I learned this week when we were texting about the cat is that you used to be a cat person. I always thought you were just a dog person, but you’re like, no, I am historically a cat person.

Shanna:

Yeah, I was scared of big dogs when I was little. I really, really did not like big dogs. Small dogs I didn’t care for too much. They were fine. But I did have a couple cats growing up, and I really liked cats. I always thought of myself as a cat person until Steve came along and he’s a dog person. And then we got Chili. So, yeah, this is bringing me back to my roots.

I have completely fallen in love with her and Laura. I just cannot even believe what a perfect fit she is for us, it’s like having a newborn with the snuggles and the love, but she goes potty all by herself. She is totally fine sleeping through the night. She just eats independently throughout the day, munching and crunching whenever she’s hungry. I’m just like, I’m sorry, why do I not have to care for you constantly? That’s what I’m used to.

Laura:

Yeah, amazing. Newborn kittens that need to be bottle fed are like having newborns, but that lasts a couple of weeks and then they get real independent.

Shanna:

Yeah.

Laura:

You were texting, asking how much work is it to have a kitten? I was like, it’s not. They’re rambunctious and stuff, but it’s really not that much work. Once you’ve had kids, forget it. The kittens are fine.

Shanna:

Yeah, I didn’t completely believe you when you said they’re not that much work. But it did give me the impetus to be like, all right, let’s do it. But you were not lying. I cannot believe how easy it is to take care of this cat compared to everything else I take care of in my life. So she’s wonderful and playful. She’s two months old. She’s totally great with the kids. They’re learning. Cece picks her up upside down a lot. We’re working on that. She hisses at Sasha a little, but they’re getting to know each other.

It’s just awesome. The naming thing, her name is not Cerulean anymore. We like the color blue, but that wasn’t going to stick. So we had a whole ordeal about naming this kitten.

Laura:

Yeah, well, also it would be awkward because Cece’s real name is Cerulean. Just kidding.

Shanna:

Haha, yes, Cece would be a good nickname for Cerulean. But no. So immediately, Elle is like, I want to name her Mittens because she has little white paws. And Cece’s like, I want to name her Sunshine. I’m like, okay, we’re all going to come up with names and we’ll make a big list and then we’ll decide. Laura, the names these kids came up with were off the wall fucking bonkers. I have a piece of paper here that Elle started writing all the names on. You know what the third name on the list is?

Laura:

I couldn’t possibly venture a guess.

Shanna:

Sink-a-sink.

Laura:

Sink-a-sink. Sink-a-sink.

Shanna:

Cece would not let that go. Sink-a-sink. I’m like, what is Sink-a-sink? Here’s some others. Let’s see. Some of these are just too… I’m like, how about Willow, Luna, Chloe. You know, just like cute little cat names.

We’ve got Meeko. Jowzy. Again on the list, Sink-a-sink.

Laura:

Really trying for that Sink-a-sink..

Shanna:

I’m like, Indigo. We call her Indy. So it was days of back and forth and no one could decide. We tried out a couple of things and they didn’t quite work. But we have finally landed on Jasmine. It was a great compromise because for the girls, it’s like Jasmine from Aladdin, so they have that connection. And for me, it’s like the plant, the flower, which is like one of my favorite things in the whole world. And it’s white and the cat’s white.

So it’s like a perfect compromise. We call her Jazzy Jazz. And yeah, she’s just you know what it is, Laura? You know how people say they have their second or third kid and they know their family is complete? I never really understood that. I didn’t have that feeling after Cece. I mean, I was like, I don’t know. Is my family complete? I don’t know.

Getting this kitten, I’m like, that’s it. My family is complete. It feels amazing.

Laura:

So cute. That’s so sweet. I fully believe in the power of cats to complete a family, so I am very much in support of this. I cannot wait to meet her.

Shanna:

Yes.

Laura:

I just want some kitten nibbles. I’m not going to nibble the kitten.

Shanna:

I know you like to eat cute little things.

Laura:

I do. I mean, I do have cute aggression, but yeah. I’m so happy that she found her way, that the cat distribution system worked its magic on Steve. And you got that Jasmine in your life.

Shanna:

Yeah, me too. And now you have a new little niece. She’s got her Auntie Laura, and it’s all good. You’ll meet her soon.

Laura:

Yes. Okay, we’ll make that happen.

Shanna:

Yes.

Laura:

In the meantime, should we take a break and come back with our special segment?

Shanna:

Oh, yes.

Laura:

All right, we are back, and our special segment this week is Mom Wins, where we celebrate some good shit we did this week or recently, at least. Shanna, can you tell us, have you had a mom win?

Shanna:

I have.

Laura:

Good.

Shanna:

Yeah.

Laura:

Something other than incepting your husband to bring home a kitten.

Shanna:

I know. That’s a pretty big win, isn’t it? This win is major. It’s major. But actually, you know what? You can decide at the end if it’s major or not, okay? It was a win for me, and that’s what counts.

Laura:

Okay. Tell me about it.

Shanna:

Okay. After school the other day, we were on our way home, and it was hot, and I was like, hey, girls, do you want to go to Jamba and get some smoothies? And they’re like, yes, of course. They love Jamba and love smoothies. So we go, we park, we head on inside, because they did not want to go through the drive through. They wanted to go in, and I was like, okay. And I was in a very generous mood that day. I was like, you know what? You can even buy bags of Pirate Booty to go with your smoothies. Just mama’s feeling good today.

Shanna:

So they get their smoothies, they get their Pirate Booty, and we’re sitting inside the restaurant and know several people there and stuff, and suddenly, Cece farts.

Laura:

I mean, that’s always funny.

Shanna:

Always funny, right? She’s laughing. Elle is laughing, and my thoughts start to fire off. I’m like, okay, that’s really funny. My second thought immediately is “that’s loud.” There are people around. Let’s be quiet. My third thought is, oh, great. I am going to end up in the Jamba bathroom for yet another public poop, aren’t I? Because if you’ve listened to this show before, I’ve complained about how I’m always getting stuck in public bathrooms with these kids while they take poops, and I’m just standing around forever, right? I’m the public bathroom taker. I’m just like, oh, man, what’s this going to lead to?

So several minutes pass. They’re enjoying their smoothies, and sure enough, five minutes later, Cece’s like, I have to go number two. I have to go potty.

And I’m like, oh, I knew it. I just did not want to get stuck in this bathroom. I know this sounds really selfish, like a mom doesn’t want to take her daughter to the bathroom. But look, we are literally 30 seconds from home. This Jamba is so close to our house. My kids delight in public pooping. I swear wherever we go, it seems like they’re like, I need to poop. Menchie’s. Beach. Restaurant. I mean, everywhere we go, it happens.

And so part of me is like, I think they just want the novelty of pooping in this bathroom, and why can’t we just wait till we get home? Also, the bathroom is right in the middle of the entire dining room. There’s not a little hallway you go down. It’s just right there. So it’s obvious that we go in. It’s obvious how long we stay in there. Yada, yada, yada. Just don’t want to do it.

So I’m like, hey, honey, you know, we’re 30 seconds from home. Why don’t we just hop in the car and you can do it there? No!

I’m like, god. So I send Elle up to the counter to get the code for the bathroom because it’s got a little lockbox on it, and my wheels are turning, and I’m just like I don’t want to spend the next five to ten minutes of my life standing in a smelly Jamba Juice bathroom that’s right off the main dining room. So I remember that we just got a new kitten. And I’m like, Cece, do you think you could hold your poo-poo for 30 seconds while we get home? And then when we are at home, Jasmine can be in the bathroom with you while you go poop and keep you company. And I see her eyes, her brain is working.

She’s thinking about it.

I look over Elle’s at the counter, just about to get that code. More people are coming into the restaurant, and I’m just, please, please let this work. And finally, she’s like, yes, okay. I’m like, yes! Success, mama.

No standing around in that stinky bathroom. Let’s go. And I hustle them out there. And of course, it’s not an emergency. You know what I mean?

We get in the car, everything’s fine. We get home, she’s like, playing with the cat for a little while, and I’m like, yeah, that was a real poop emergency you had there. But she did eventually go potty. The kitten kept her company, and it was a little mom win on my part.

Laura:

I love the turning wheels when you can see them doing the calculation in their mind because it just cracks me up every time. But I think this is genius because you realized what they like, is the novelty, right? they want to have some kind of unique experience when they’re having their poop, and you found a way to frame that at home, right? You’re like, okay, let’s have a unique pooping experience at home. The kitten.

Shanna:

Yes. I don’t know how long that technique will work. The novelty of the cat is going to wear off at some point, but I knew it was novel at that point, and it would provide an exciting pooping experience.

Laura:

Also, I get why you don’t want to just linger in these bathrooms at eating establishments and stuff. It’s like, first of all, what do you do with your Jamba Juice when you’re in there? Right? if you don’t have someone hanging out at the table, you have to bring your Jamba Juices in with you, and then where do you put them? And usually these bathrooms are of varying levels of cleanliness, but you still don’t really want to put something you’re eating or drinking on a surface in there.

Shanna:

Yeah.

Laura:

And then you have two kids, so what’s the other one doing? Usually they’re single stalls. Right. So you’re in there, and the other one is touching all the things.

Shanna:

Maybe trying to do handstands. I mean, any number of just disturbing things. Yes.

Laura:

Yeah. And you’re sitting there being like, Are you done? Are you done? Are you okay? No, no, we’re just still sitting here. And if Jamba Juice doesn’t have the decency to put their bathroom way back at the end of a narrow hallway away from people, come on.

Shanna:

It’s not often that you come across a dining room with a toilet bathroom right there in the dining room, right.

Laura:

It’s odd. I have to say, the Jamba Juices near me don’t really have dining areas. They’re Pretty much standing room only.

Shanna:

Oh, interesting. Ours has a bunch of tables. And did you know it’s not called Jamba Juice anymore? It’s just Jamba. Oh, I can’t handle it.

Laura:

So you don’t have to worry about the Juice, because I guess they sell.

Shanna:

More than juice now. I don’t know. I think they rebranded, and it throws me for a loop all the time.

Laura:

It will always be Jamba Juice to me. I’m a child of the 90s. I will remember that forever.

Shanna:

Same. All right, so that’s my little Mom Win of the week. What do you got for us?

Laura:

Okay, so my Mom Win happened last Saturday. It was a weird Saturday in that usually we have swim class in the mornings for both boys. But for reasons that are too boring to get into, we didn’t have swim class that morning.=And we also failed to get out of the house very much that day. I think we went to the backyard for a little bit, but we didn’t do anything Saturday morning. We just had a chill day. And then Auggie did his quiet time on his iPad, and Sebastian took his nap.

And then after his nap, it became abundantly clear that we had seriously fucked up by not getting these kids some physical activity in the morning. I think we had gotten so complacent with swim class happening on Saturday mornings that we had forgotten what it was like to have children who had no physical activity under their belt. Usually it tired them out, and they were regulated and all this stuff. But these were two children who were very dysregulated in the afternoon because they were just so antsy. But especially Augie. Auggie. It was like, I want to say two in the afternoon, and he was just pushing buttons and just being wild in his body, not able to control his limbs. He was accidentally hitting us and stuff because he was just flailing around.

Sebastian was a little bit better. He had taken a nap, and he was just quietly working on his Magna-Tiless, which is his new thing. He’s like, stacking Magna-Tiless really high, and it’s so cute. But Auggie kept knocking them over, and Sebastian kept getting mad about it, and it created all this conflict. And I’d be like, Auggie, you need to move away and not knock your brother’s shit over. You get pissed when he does that to your stuff, right? Don’t do it. He looked me in the eye, and I just saw this wildness in his eyes, and he’s kicking his legs, and he says to me, I can’t stop myself. I was like, oh, my god, he really can’t.

He’s just not in control of himself, right? And I could sense we were trying to finally get out of the house. We were going to go to the Americana and just walk around or something. And I could sense Corey getting really frustrated because they weren’t putting on their shoes. Augie’s being wild. Nothing’s going the way we had planned. And Corey kind of leaves. He’s just like, I’m going to go get dressed. I’ll be back.

He’s getting frustrated, and I’m sensing the house, right? I can just feel it. You know what I mean? Dad’s getting frustrated. Mom’s getting exhausted. Kids are just out of their minds. And I had a light bulb moment, which is my Mom Win.

Shanna:

Ooh. Okay, tell us more.

Laura:

So I was like, okay, this kid needs to get out big body movements as soon as he can, right? But we didn’t really have time for the wherewithal to put together the bounce house, because that was my first thought. Oh, he needs to just bounce in the bounce house. And then I was like, oh, maybe we should do a crash pad. But I’m like, we’re trying to get out of the house and setting up a crash pad and getting all the cushions off the couch and stuff. I didn’t think that we really could pull it off. Also, I could tell that Corey was getting frustrated, and I feel like he would be like, why are we doing this sort of thing, right? What’s going on? Why are we delaying leaving even more? And my brilliant insight was like, I don’t need no stinking crash pad. I can just make the couch a crash pad. So here’s what I did.

I told Auggie, I’m like, I’m going to slam you down on the couch. And he was, you know, he was into it. So I just picked Auggie up and swung him one, two, three, and then just dropped him on the, I mean, I was doing it pretty high, and then I would fall full body on top of him and smush him, and he was giggling. And I checked in to make sure that he was happy with this. And after watching his brother do it a couple of times, Sebastian was like, me turn, me turn. And so I was doing with him a little more gently with him, but dropping him on the couch and smooshing him. And then it turned into spinning. So I would swing him back and forth in a big spin and then sideways slam him into the couch cushions.

When I tell you, it completely changed the mood of these children and the mood of the house. I am not exaggerating. It was a magic trick. Shanna. We did this for, I don’t know, five minutes maybe. And it was tiring. My arms were getting tired, and my back was getting a little tired, but I realized it just fit all this stuff that Auggie was indirectly telling me that he needed. He needed to get some big movements.

His body, he just could not control it. And he needed connection, right? He needed to have some happy, fun connection moments, not all this snippiness stop doing this, stop doing all this stuff, right? And it fit all those things, right? We were giggling and laughing together and looking into each other’s eyes and hugging and touching and being in close contact, and he’s falling and getting that proprioceptive stuff right? I don’t know, I’m not an OT. But he’s getting the swinging and the crashing and all that stuff. And within five minutes, I had completely turned around the mood in the house. I mean, it was so cool to watch and be aware of at the time, too. I was definitely patting myself on the back in the moment. I was like, look at me being a good mom right now.

Shanna:

Yeah, that’s amazing. It is so hard sometimes to bring that playfulness in when you’re feeling stressed or like you want to go somewhere or there’s a time crunch or anything. But really taking the moment to just try to bring that playfulness, I think is so helpful sometimes. And the fact that it fulfilled his other needs, too, like his body sensations and the connection and all of that, that was such a good instinct that you had. And what a success.

Laura:

Yeah, and I just wanted to mention it, too, because it’s something you can kind of do at any time, especially if you have an L-shaped couch like we do, with a lot of space to slam down on. And yeah, I felt like that was a real, real mom win, so I wanted to share.

Shanna:

Yay! That’s awesome. So did you get out of the house and go to the Americana? Everything was great?

Laura:

We did. We rode the trolley and we did not buy any toys at the toy kiosks, but we did look at them. And everything was fine. And no more Magna-Tiles towers were destroyed that day.

Shanna:

Success.

Laura:

Yes. But that’s it. That was my Mom Win. That’s all I’ve got to say about that. Shall we take a break and come back with our final segment?

Shanna:

Oh, yes.

We’re back. And we wrap up every week with our big fat positives or big fat negatives. Laura, you’re up first. What do you have for us?

Laura:

I have a BFP.

Shanna:

Yay.

Laura:

And as you know, I had to do a ton of knitting this week sitting on the couch and while I listened to some podcasts and audiobooks while I was doing it, I spent most of that time watching television. And my BFP is twofold. One is that streaming is so amazing if you have to sit on the couch 8 hours a day. It wasn’t quite like this last time. I had a big knitting pattern to do. I remember very specifically in the mid aughts, having to finish a knitting project and having to go change the Netflix DVDs out as I was binging something so much easier. These days. Autoplay is a real great invention.

Shanna:

Sure is.

Laura:

Can I tell you what I watched this week?

Shanna:

Yes. Because I need some recommendations.

Laura:

All right. I watched, like eight episodes of Suits before I got tired of it. I watched the Chris Fleming comedy special on Peacock, which is super unhinged and hilarious and highly recommend it. I watched the movie Sliding Doors because I had never seen it before. I watched the Taylor Swift documentary Miss Americana. I watched some episodes of stuff I missed the first time around. So I watched four episodes of the first season of White Lotus. I watched some of Hack My Home on Netflix, which is like a home renovation thing.

But what I really want to talk about is the one show I watched in its entirety, which was The Ultimatum Queer Love. Have you watched that?

Shanna:

I just finished that last night.

Laura:

Okay, so we can talk about it. Yeah, I loved it. Of all this stuff that I’m talking about, I watched eight episodes of Suits. I watched three episodes of White Lotus. All these things, I got sick of them after too much. needed to kind of take a break and move on to something different. With The Ultimatum: Queer Love I was just like, what’s going to happen? I need to watch the next episode. I was so into it.

Shanna:

Yeah, they’re really good at leaving you with cliffhangers and wanting to know what’s going to happen and the ups and downs of the relationships and yeah, so good.

Laura:

Yes. I just really love the setup. I thought it was really refreshing to watch a dating show that wasn’t about heterosexual couples. I was really surprised by some of the results. All of it was very entertaining to me. So my BFP is specifically for The Ultimatum Queer Love, which is on Netflix, and also all the TV that I got to watch. I haven’t watched that much TV in almost five years, Shanna because who has time?

Shanna:

Yeah, you jammed it all in. It reminds me of how much TV I watched when I was breastfeeding my newborns. That’s when I really watched a lot of TV. And when I had COVID and I was isolating. I watched so much. And apparently knitting is another time that you do that, but I love the wide variety of stuff you watched. Wow, what a whiplash of genres and styles and moods. Yeah, that’s fun.

Laura:

It was fun. I mean, I don’t recommend having to sit for 8 hours a day knitting for a little over a week if you can avoid it. But if you have to do it, at least we have streaming television.

Shanna:

Absolutely. But look at it this way, Laura. I watched every single episode of Ultimatum Queer Love while not knitting, while not doing anything, while just sitting on my couch, accomplishing nothing.

Laura:

It’s called resting. Shanna.

Shanna:

Oh, yeah, okay. Resting. Sure, sure.

Laura:

Yeah, that’s so that was my BFP. How about you? Do you have a BFP or a BFN?

Shanna:

I actually have a BFN.

Laura:

Oh, no. During kitten week.

Shanna:

Yeah. And you know what’s, the interesting thing, Laura, is that the kitten is what sparked this.

Laura:

Oh.

Shanna:

So the kitten is making me incredibly happy. I have not fallen in love with something so fast ever. Well, maybe my own kids. But the kitten, I am just in love. She’s so tiny. She’s about a pound and a half. So she’s very small and delicate. And I was shocked to find out that my postpartum anxiety has been completely triggered by having this tiny creature that I love so much in my house. I have been panicking about this cat getting hurt and dying on my watch. And it has taken me by surprise. I did not see this coming at all.

Laura:

Yeah, I mean, it’s really interesting. I obviously know a little bit about this because you’ve been texting me with some, I’d say, unlikely scenarios of how she might get hurt.

Shanna:

Tell them what I texted you.

Laura:

Yeah, you texted, I don’t know, randomly out of the blue. And you’re like, how likely is it that Jasmine is going to fall into the toilet bowl and not be able to get out and drown? And I was like, that’s not one I’ve heard of. Maybe I guess it could happen, but that’s not one that’s like a common thing I’ve heard about on kitten forums, which is good.

Shanna:

That’s what I wanted to hear. But I recognize that I’m totally doing reassurance seeking, right? That thought popped into my head. I started panicking. I’m like, I can’t rely on my kids to close the toilet. What if she falls in? She’s like, so tiny. My brain is spinning. The kids are fine with her, they love her, but just because they’re so small and still learning, they’re kind of rough with her, right? And it’s exactly the same thing when Cece was a baby and Elle was rough with her. I was on edge, constantly thinking she was going to get smushed, going to get hurt, and like, stay away, stay away, stay away.

The other day we had friends come over and I really realized this. The other day we had Jasmine for two days, and we had some friends come over with their daughter, who’s friends with Elle. And the three girls were just going bananas for Jasmine, picking her up, running around with her. And she was there for it. She was having a good time. And I was trying to converse with the adults and stuff, but my attention was completely drawn to what are they doing with the kitten? Where are they? They’re not in my sight. They’re in my office. Where is she? Where is she? And at one point I look over and Jasmine is on Cece’s lap, lying on her legs, motionless.

And I’m trying to talk to my adult friend. And I’m like, oh my god, I panicked. I jumped up, I ran over there, I picked the cat up, and Laura I thought for sure the cat was going to be dead. I thought for sure they had roughhoused her too much. and she was just dead on Cece’s lap and Cece didn’t know. And I picked her up and she’s like “mew!”

Laura:

Og my god, Shanna.

Shanna:

And Elle tried to grab her away, and she’s like, give her back. And I was like, STOP. And in front of my friends and stuff, I was like, STOP IT! And then I was like, oh, my god, what am I doing? What am I doing?

Laura:

So interesting.

Shanna:

So, yeah, I’m having big feelings you know.

Laura:

The other thing is that when you have a new species in your house, you don’t always know the things that could hurt them. We were talking after you asked about the toilet bowl, I was like, that’s not really a thing as far as I know. But the washing machine is the thing you need to be careful about. Cats tend to jump into washers and dryers, and you don’t know they’re there, and you start a load. That’s a thing people actually do, right? But it’s not something you probably ever have thought about. And lilies, lily flowers are super poisonous to cats. Even the pollen is poisonous, but pretty much every other species is fine. So I think it’s a fair thing to ask about situations, but obviously, this was getting out of hand.

Shanna:

Yeah, and it wasn’t the only time. I mean, this was happening every single day, in some different scenario. I would come home from dropping the kids off, and I couldn’t find Jasmine in the house. And I’m like,Jasmine, Jasmine, shaking her treat bag. She’s nowhere. And instead of just calmly checking, the panic is welling up. And I’m like, oh, my god. She escaped. Or, oh, my god, she got trapped somewhere. And I’m like Jasmine. Jasmine! And I’m freaking out. Then I go and check Steve’s office. And the door was shut, and she was just in there.

So the good thing about having gone through postpartum anxiety and having some anxiety issues and having a therapist is that I explored all of this with my therapist, and we really got into it, and, whoa, he had me do some deep work around my kitten anxiety. And I’m getting better. I’m definitely getting better. But it was very surprising to see that I was reacting this way.

Laura:

It’s so funny what happens, right? To us, the idea that you could get a flare up of postpartum anxiety from getting a kitten before you have kids seems impossible, right? No way. And yet it’s completely plausible to me now. It’s like, oh, yeah, that’s the first thing I think I said to you, right? You’re like, oh, I just have so much anxiety about this cat. And I’m like, postpartum anxiety, right? And you’re like, absolutely. It’s the same thing. It just was so clear to me. It’s so fascinating.

Well, I know how stressful that can be, and I know it’s not rational, so anything I say like she’ll be fine, may not be what you need to hear, but I do know that you’re a very conscientious pet parent and human parent as well. And she’s in good hands with you.

Shanna:

Thank you. And when she’s missing, I check all my drawers because I remember you lost one of your cats and he was stuck in the drawer.

Laura:

Yeah, Cal was stuck in a drawer. That actually happened to me twice. One time when I was fostering a kitten, I couldn’t find the kitten, and it had gotten into a dresser drawer. If you just leave them just a smidge open, they can squeeze in, and then they roll shut.

Shanna:

Oh, my gosh.

Laura:

Cats, cats, cats, cats, cats.

Shanna:

But anyway, I’m doing okay with it. I’m getting better, and I’m just so happy to have her little snuggles and little companionship in my life. But that’s it for me, and I believe that’s it for our show, unless you have a five star review to read.

Laura:

Oh, you know it.

Shanna:

Yay.

Laura:

Okay, this one is from ShannonMama on Apple podcasts. The title is My Prego Friends, and Friends is, in quotes, five stars. “I started listening to this podcast when I found out I was pregnant back in March of 2020. Yay. Pandemic babies. I listened to every single episode during my first six months of pregnancy, then had to wait for Mondays to listen to the next episode, other than the bonus episodes that gave me life. I began referring to Shanna and Laura as my friends, to my husband. And now it’s a running joke in our household that you were my first mom friends. Love you guys.”

Shanna:

Oh, I love being your mom friend, Shannon.

Laura:

Me too. I will happily wear that badge. Your first mom friend. And I sure hope you found more mom friends since then, but we love having you listening to the show. Thank you so much.

Shanna:

Yeah, thank you. And thank you for leaving that review. Listeners, if you haven’t had a chance yet to leave us a five star review, could you please do us a favor? Head on over to Apple podcasts, leave a five star review, say a few things you love about the show, and we might read it on an upcoming episode. If you have any mom wins you want to share with us, you know, we would love to hear them. Or if you have any kitten or cat tips for me, I would love to hear them. So please reach out. Laura, where can everyone find us?

Laura:

We’re on TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook at @bfppodcast. We have a website, bigfatpositivepodcast.com. If you want to send us an email, you can always throw a voice memo in there. Just send it to [email protected]. And finally, if you want to get some exclusive content from me and Shanna, and you want to join the coolest group of people on the Internet, just search Facebook for Big Fat Positive community. Because it’s a private group, you’ll need to request to join and answer those two membership questions. So we know you’re not a robot. Once you do that, we’ll send you straight through to all the wonderful conversations we’re having in there.

Shanna:

Our show is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thanks for listening, everyone. Have a big fat positive week. Bye.