Ep. 274 – What Moms Will Do for Their Kids

October 2, 2023

Listen Now:

In the special segment “Super Moms!,” Shanna and Laura share the true stories of remarkable and inspiring moms, including some women who went to great lengths for the sake of their children. Also, Shanna reports on spending a special morning with her younger daughter, and Laura talks about how her family handled an unexpected health emergency. Finally, they share their BFPs and BFNs for the week. Shanna’s kids are 4.5 and 7.5 years old, and Laura’s kids are 4.5 years old and 2.5 years old.

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This episode’s show notes can be found here.

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Big Fat Positive: A Pregnancy and Parenting Journey is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko and Steve Yager.

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Episode Transcript

Laura:

 

Welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. This week, we have our weekly check-ins. We have our special segment, Super Moms!, where we talk about chickens and frogs and bears, oh my. And we close with our BFPs and BFNs for the week. Let’s get started. Hi, everyone. Welcome to Episode 274.

 

Shanna?

 

Shanna:

 

Yes, my friend?

 

Laura:

 

What’s up? What’s up?

 

Shanna:

 

What’s up, my friend?

 

Laura:

 

This is just gonna become a really cheesy dude bro podcast. Right? Oh, yo, bruh. Like, what’s up? What’s up, bra? What’s the haps? I don’t I don’t even know how people talk.

 

Shanna:

 

Okay. I don’t either. All I know is my kids call me bruh all the time, so it’s infiltrated the children.

 

Laura:

 

Oh, I’m really not looking forward to that. Maybe it’ll be something else by the time Auggie figures it out.

 

Shanna:

 

Yes. It probably will be. Who even knows? Okay. So my check-in this week is a fun one. My mom came into town to visit for Labor Day weekend, so Nana was here.

 

Laura:

 

Yay.

 

Shanna:

 

Yay. And a really fun thing that we did was take CeCe out for a special girls’ morning with just her and me and Nana. Elle had a birthday party to go to. And that week, I had just been talking to my therapist about Cece and how she’s doing and everything, and he suggested maybe I try to do more one-on-one special time with her. Which is an idea we’ve heard before definitely, but he’s like as the youngest, most powerless person in your family, she might really benefit from some really focused special one-on-one time that’s not distracted by her older sister, who we know can be very energetic and overbearing and stuff.

 

So I was like, oh, that’s a good idea. So we will make Saturday morning “Special Cece time.”

 

Laura:

 

Yay. That’s smart. Okay.

 

Shanna:

 

So I was like, would you wanna go out to breakfast? And she’s like, yeah. And I I asked her where she wanted to go, and she immediately picked Starbucks because she loves Starbucks. And I floated that by Nana, and Nana was like, oh, Starbucks. Nana’s not a big fan of Starbucks. I was like, okay. You know, let’s figure something else out. I’m like, what about Dunkin’ Donuts? And Cece went wild for that idea.

 

So we took her to Dunkin’ Donuts, and she was so cute. When we were ordering, she ordered her own doughnut and immediately was like, “I wanna order a doughnut for Elle so she can have one for tomorrow morning.”

 

Laura:

 

Aw. That’s sweet.

 

Shanna:

 

I know. So she ordered one for her, and then she’s like, I want one for daddy too. So we ordered the extras, and sat on the patio with her and had a special Nana/Cece/Mama breakfast together.

 

Laura:

 

I love that. I love that idea. I’ve been thinking about trying to go out to breakfast with the kids recently because I saw on someone’s feed that they were at IHOP, and I was like, oh, yeah. Like, that’s a thing. That’s totally a thing we can do. And I was thinking like, oh, maybe that would be so much more viable than going out to dinner. You know? Like, because dinner time sucks. Right? Like, dinner time is all bets are off anyway, but a weekend breakfast is kinda genius.

 

Shanna:

 

Yes. Oh, I wanna go to IHOP. What childhood memories I have of going to IHOP with my family and my grandparents. Oh, I wanna do that.

 

Laura:

 

I don’t think I’ve been to an IHOP since college. I actually used to go to an IHOP with my friend Danielle in college to study because it was the only thing open at midnight. You know?

Shanna:

 

That and Denny’s. Denny’s was a real big part of my childhood too. So after breakfast, we had some more time before Elle’s party ended, and I was like, you know what’s right down the street? The 99¢ Store. And it’s the time of year where we like to go to the 99¢ store and buy Halloween decorations. That’s kind of a tradition we have. I was like, do you wanna go there and pick out some Halloween decorations, and she’s like, “Yes!”

 

So me and Nana and Cece went to the 99¢ store and checked out all the Halloween stuff, and she picked out some hilarious things, very odd choices like this gold cat sphinx mask. I was like, “Okay. Sure. Put it in. It’s your morning.” And we got a lot of stuff, and I think she felt really special that all the attention was on her. So it was really good.

 

Laura:

 

That’s such a fun idea. I love that you’re doing this. It’s a good reminder that each kid needs special time. You know? It’s so easy for the second one to just sort of get lumped along with the older kids’ stuff.

 

Shanna:

 

Yes. And so many of our activities revolve around Elle. Right? Like, so much softball, so many big kid activities. So it was really nice to do something for her. And then afterwards, we met up with Elle and her friend at an indoor kid’s playground called Kids Empire, and they played, played, played, and it was just a wonderful wonderful day.

 

Laura:

 

Well, that sounds nicer than my week.

 

Shanna:

 

Oh, no. Tell me about your week. I’m done with my check-in. I wanna hear about you now.

 

Laura:

 

Do you remember how last week we were sick?

 

Shanna:

 

Yes. Yes. Very sick.

 

Laura:

 

Yeah. And the only saving grace is that we all kind of got it sequentially, so Corey and I were not sick at the same time. Well, Corey was the last one in the chain to get sick, and it was taking him a lot longer to get better. And to be honest, maybe this is sexist, but I was like, it’s the man flu. You know, like sorry, but we know that at least for some men, they have a harder time dealing with illness than women, and maybe that’s not a bad thing.

 

Maybe women do too much when we’re sick. Maybe we should be just resting. But, anyway, I was kind of dismissive of it until Sunday night. After we had recorded, we were doing bedtime and all this stuff. And I left off last week being like,” I think we’re on the upswing, blah blah blah,” which I thought we had been on the upswing. Like, Corey all that morning had been, helping with the kids and doing stuff and just generally being more involved and more energetic.

 

Well, around the afternoon into bedtime he started getting really lethargic really quickly. Like, super tired. He couldn’t get up to help me with anything. And I was like, okay, that’s weird. Like, he’s on day five of this virus, and he should be on the upswing, not the downswing. And I’m like, shit. This probably means that he has some kind of secondary infection.

 

And that’s the thing that happens. Right? You get a viral infection. They get a little bit better. And then when you start to nosedive, they suspect that it’s like some kind of bacterial secondary infection or superinfection, which is a term I learned this week. So I did the bedtimes for the kids solo. It was fine.

 

They were well behaved, and I did it all myself. And in the meantime, I’m getting texts from Corey, asking if I can bring him the pulse oximeter that we have that we bought at the height of the pandemic.

 

Shanna:

 

Oh, right. Yes. We all have those now.

 

Laura:

 

Yeah. And all these other supplies and asking me questions about what a good pulse ox reading is and stuff. And I’m trying to wrangle the kids, so I’m like, I’m gonna deal with this when I get them to bed. So I come downstairs from putting the kids to bed, and I find him completely bundled up on the couch looking awful with his friend on speakerphone, his friend who happens to be a doctor. And I hear him saying, well I was better, but now it’s stropping down to 88, and I’m coughing a lot, and I can barely get up without getting dizzy. Oh, no. Like, oh, shit.

 

And I heard his friend being like, “Yeah. That doesn’t sound great. I’d really like you to get seen tonight.” And I was like, yeah. Yeah. I think that’s a good idea.

 

Shanna:

 

So what did you do?

 

Laura:

 

So I started texting anyone who lived nearby to see if they could come watch the monitor, and I’ll talk about that a little bit later. I’m trying to parse this story out into all of our segments, so you get a little bit sprinkled into every segment. So someone came over to watch the monitors, and we took off to go to the ER, and we actually got seen pretty quickly. We got there at 9:00 p.m. And, he got pulled back around 9:30, and they did all these tests on him and gave him an inhaler, and his pulse ox was hovering around 90  in the ER, and they were like,  “We don’t like this. We think you have pneumonia.”

 

Shanna:

 

Oh, no.

 

Laura:

 

“I think we’re gonna admit you for the night.” So he got admitted to the hospital that night. There was a whole slew of annoying and pretty bad stuff that happened in the hospital that I’m not even gonna go over because this is not a medical malpractice podcast.

 

Shanna:

 

Oh my gosh.

 

Laura:

 

The short version is that no one looked at his X-ray that they took in the ER for 14 hours. And they refused to give him antibiotics,until someone reviewed the X-ray, but no one would review the X-ray despite me literally badgering people all day. I got there the next morning thinking he’d be on IV antibiotics, and I’d be taking him home that afternoon and all this stuff, but, no he hadn’t even been started on it.

 

Shanna:

 

Wow.

 

Laura:

 

So I spent all day trying to advocate for him. We had literally three doctors consulting with us. I mean in our own social group. My mom and then two of his good friends. One of whom worked at the hospital group that we were in, which is eventually what got the doctor to call us back and look at the results finally.

 

Anyway, 14 hours later, they’re like, “Oh, yeah. You’ve got pneumonia, and your labs indicate it’s bacterial, so we’ll start you on IV antibiotics, but you’re gonna have to stay over another night.”

 

Shanna:

 

What?

 

Laura:

 

So Corey spent two nights in the hospital at the beginning of this week, and oh my gosh, that was a challenge, from a parenting point of view. Yeah. I’m not gonna lie.

 

Shanna:

 

How did you handle that? Were you going back and forth? Were you getting babysitters?

 

Laura:

 

Well, thankfully, school had started. So the kids were in school, and thankfully, they were better. So I was able to go visit him right after I dropped them off. So I literally drove them both to school and then drove right up to the hospital both days that he was there, and Sherry came, my mother-in-law. He got admitted Sunday night. So Monday afternoon, she came to help with the kids. So she was really crucial. So she was there in the morning to help with them and just get all the stuff done.

 

Like, being able to help them get dressed for school and all that stuff. And helping with bedtime. And, of course, Auggie just wanted her to do bedtime. Right? And it was interesting too because it was one of those things where it was like, how do I talk to my kids about this? Right? Like, where is daddy? I didn’t wanna scare them, but I had to tell them. So I was like, “Oh daddy’s sick, and he’s getting help.” And little Sebastian, his speech is getting better, but he still kinda has two-and-a-half-year-old speech (two-and-a-half-year-old who probably had hearing loss for six months or something speech), and just randomly out of the blue, he would be like, “Daddy sick? Daddy doctor?”

 

Shanna:

 

How did Auggie take it?

 

Laura:

 

You know, that’s a good question. He didn’t outwardly show signs of direct concern. You know what I mean? I think part of it was that I was trying to be reassuring, but it wasn’t like he was expressing that specifically to me. But I do think he was being extra dysregulated in the evenings. And, honestly, this continued throughout the week. Once Corey got home, it’s not like he was doing a tap dance in the living room. He needed a lot of rest. So it was a lot of pressure on me all week to kinda do all the things, do all the school drop offs, all that stuff.

 

Shanna:

 

Yeah.

 

Laura:

 

And that definitely was reflected in Auggie’s behavior throughout the week. And one interesting aspect of that is he wanted nothing to do with Corey when he got home.

 

Shanna:

 

Really?

 

Laura:

 

Yeah. I fully expected them to be like, “Daddy, we missed you!” You know, run up to him. But it was kind of the opposite. They kinda rejected him a little bit, and it kinda broke my heart. Both of them were just sort of like, “Mommy, mommy, we want mommy.” But then I was trying to remember that this is within the normal range of behavior. Right? We all expect some big reunion, but I think there is something – I don’t know what the child development, official word on it is, but I’ve heard that when one parent is gone for a period of time, the kids sometimes go to the opposite parent. But, I mean, it was only two nights, you know? But still. So, yeah, that was a little bit of a challenge because Corey was like, “I wanna hug my boys,” and they were like, I want mama.

 

Shanna:

 

Oh my goodness.

 

Laura:

 

I know. Poor Corey. But the good news is that now that we are a whole week away from his being admitted to the hospital, he is doing much better. It’s amazing how, when you have bacterial pneumonia, getting antibiotics helps. He really is on the upswing this time around. He has another couple days of antibiotics to be on, but I do think he’s recovered.

 

Shanna:

 

What a week.

 

Laura:

 

Yeah. What a week. So do not recommend. Zero stars.

 

Shanna:

 

That would get the worst review on Amazon ever.

 

Laura:

 

Yeah. But, anyway, I’ve got more to say about that, but I’m going to add it in, sprinkle it in throughout the rest of the episode. But for now, should we move on to our next segment?

 

Shanna:

 

Oh, yes. Yes. We should.

 

Shanna:

 

We’re back, and this week’s special segment is Super Moms!, where we celebrate some extraordinary mothers out there in the world that we’ve come across recently. Laura, you’re up first, and I wanna hear about your first Super Mom.

 

Laura:

 

So I started this thinking that I was gonna talk about a woman named Angela Cavallo. Have you ever heard of Angela Cavallo?

 

Shanna:

 

No.

 

Laura:

 

So in 1982, it was reported that Angela Cavallo, a 5 foot 8 woman from Lawrenceville, Georgia, rescued her teenage son when he became pinned under a 1964 Chevy Impala. Have you heard about this?

 

Shanna:

 

No.

 

Laura: So she’s sort of the poster mom for something called “hysterical strength,” which might be something you’ve heard of. Which is the idea that in times of great stress, you can exhibit superhuman strength. Right?

 

Shanna:

 

Oh, right.

 

Laura:

 

And I guess what had happened was he was working under a jacked up car in his driveway, and the jack fell and he got pinned. And she ran over and pulled it up four inches, enough to have a neighbor put the jack back in and get the son out who was unharmed. And here’s the thing. I like to have things verified. Right? And I’m pretty sure this is true. I found a clip from a newspaper in 1982 describing this.

 

So it looks like it’s true. But I wanted to make sure that this wasn’t just like urban legend. And so I was digging around reading up on hysterical strength and trying to find sources to make sure that this was true. And I did find a newspaper article from 1982 describing it. So I think it’s true. But in the process, I found a different Super Mom who also exhibited super strength, and I wanted to share.

 

Shanna:

 

Okay.

 

Laura:

 

This is also from the past, the more recent past, February 17, 2006 to be precise. So I found an original article on the Wayback Machine seen from the Nunatsiaq News.

 

Shanna:

 

Okay. Where is Nunatsiaq?

 

Laura:

 

This is in the very far northern territory in Canada called Nunavut, I think. I’m so sorry, my Canadian friends. I don’t think I know how to pronounce that exactly right. Nunavut, I think. Okay. And here’s the title. “Polar bear, no match for fearsome mother.”

 

Shanna:

 

Oh, I need to hear all about this.

 

Laura:

 

So apparently, “tiny Lydia Angyiou showed incredible bravery and strength last week when she tackled a polar bear who threatened her son and two friends as they played hockey in front of Ibujavik’s youth center.” So this mom, she’s 41. Her seven-year-old son was playing with two friends in front of their youth center way up north in Canada when she saw a polar bear eyeing the boys.

 

Shanna:

 

Oh, no.

 

Laura:

 

According to this article, she immediately ran towards the animal. All she could think about was protecting her seven-year-old son.

 

Another woman heading to work at the youth center saw her fighting with the bear, and this woman told the police that when she saw Lydia in front of the youth center trying to kick the bear, she screamed at the polar bear.But here’s the amazing thing. Right? Like, so everyone is trying to alert people that this woman is bare knuckling a freaking polar bear, when they got a guy who had a rifle to come help. And so he said he shot three warning shots into the air, and the bear didn’t even flinch.

 

Shanna:

 

Wow.

 

Laura:

 

And he said he could see that the bear was struggling with a person. And when the warning shots had no effect, the bear looked him in the eye and moved towards him so he shot the bear four times. And only then, when it was shot four times, did this bear stop, but the woman was fine. She apparently was covered in blood, but fine, which I’m like, “Well, where’d the blood come from?”

 

Shanna:

 

Yeah.

 

Laura:

 

But they think that this was an example of what they call hysterical strength, where you are able to just do things like lift a car or fight a polar bear, in order to save your children. And you know what? I have to say, all the articles I found about hysterical strength fail to mention the root of the word hysterical, which I’m sure you know.

 

Shanna:

 

Women. Right?

 

Laura:

 

Yeah. So it comes from the Greek word hystera, which means uterus, Shanna.

 

Shanna:

 

Right.

 

Laura:

 

And, You know, it had been used to kind of discredit women’s feelings for many years. There’s actually a lot to say about the term hysteria. But to apply it in this situation, I think it’s so applicable because it’s like, yes. your uterus is like, “That’s my baby. I held that baby. I’m gonna lift this fucking car and punch this polar bear in the nose with my bare hands.”

 

Shanna:

 

I’m picturing a really buff uterus, and each fallopian tube is the arms with the ovaries as the fists. Like, “Come at me, bear.”

 

Laura:

 

Absolutely. So, I was glad to find the story. Also, I’m watching the newest season of Alone that’s on Netflix, and it’s set in Labrador, way up north in Canada. And at the beginning of every episode, it’s like, “This is polar bear country. There are only three animals that are known to hunt humans: lions, other humans, and polar bears.” So I was like, oh, shit. This polar bear really was coming for that seven-year-old.

 

Shanna:

 

Oh, yeah. See, I didn’t know that. I’m like, “Polar bears are so cute and fluffy and white!”

 

Laura:

 

Yeah. Yeah. They’re so snuggly, polar bears. I mean, any bear that is that close to your kids definitely. I don’t know if I would charge them directly with my bare hands, but it worked for her.

 

Shanna:

 

Wow. Yeah. I think I would turn and run the other way probably – with my kid. I wouldn’t leave them behind.

 

Laura:

 

Yeah. I mean, it must have been close enough that that was not an option. But, yeah, she saved her kids.

 

Shanna:

 

Good job, Lydia. You deserve the award for Super Mom.

 

Laura:

 

And I think she actually got an actual award.I think she was commended for her bravery by the governor or something. So that is my first Super Mom. Do you have one for us?

 

Shanna:

 

Yes. Okay. Speaking of the past in the way, way back, mine is a throwback way back to the early 1900s actually. I came across a woman named Mary Ann Bevan on an Instagram post from an account I follow called History Cool Kids. I love this account. They highlight people from the past and try to dig in and figure out their stories a little bit more than what might be remembered about them. So this post about Mary Ann Bevan caught my eye.

 

Mary Ann Bevan was a nurse in England in the early 1900s. She married a man named Thomas Bevan in 1904, and they had four children. Thomas unfortunately died unexpectedly in 1914. So Mary Ann is a single mother living in England in the early 1900s. After his death, she started developing symptoms of a condition called acromegaly.

 

Do you know what that is?

 

Laura:

 

Acromegaly. Okay. Megaly means big. Acro… I don’t know what acromegaly is. I can’t pull it out of my well of medical knowledge. Something got real big.

 

Shanna:

 

Something did get big. So acromegaly is when the pituitary gland overproduces growth hormones.

 

Laura:

 

Oh, okay.

 

Shanna:

 

So after a person is already done growing, this activation of the growth hormones causes adults to suddenly begin growing again. So she might have had this condition previously, but it started developing symptoms after her husband died.

 

Laura:

 

I think also if you get a pituitary tumor, sometimes it can make your hormones go out of whack. So maybe she had a hidden one in there.

 

Shanna:

 

Oh, that is possible. You know nowadays, if someone has a condition like this, they can be treated for it, but back then, not so much. So she unfortunately had to endure what happened. So with this condition, hands and feet may swell, it can change the bone structure, alter facial features. And for her, her brow and lower jaw protruded, her nose expanded, and her physical features just completely changed, and she looked a lot different. And at the time, people were not super accepting of that, and she was quite ridiculed. She had a really hard time finding a job, but she had these four kids that she needed to raise and take care of on her own. So when a farmer in the nearby area kind of jokingly said “Oh, you could win an ugliest woman contest,” she took it to heart, and out of desperation, she entered a local ugliest woman competition.

 

Laura:

 

Wait. What? Come again? There was an annual competition for who was the ugliest woman?

 

Shanna:

 

I don’t know if it was annual, but that’s not the point. I see what you’re saying. Yes, Laura. Yes. There was a competition, and she beat 250 other competitors.

 

Laura:

 

Wow. Okay. I mean okay. I’m speechless. Sorry.

 

Shanna:

 

I know. I know. I know. This is not an easy story, but it’s why she was so incredible. So she put herself out there. She put up with the humiliation and the ridicule in order to try to provide for her family. So after winning this contest, she became a little bit more known and kind of got the attention of circus producers and sideshow producers and stuff and started getting offers to perform, quote, unquote, “perform” in sideshows. And, in 1920, she was hired to appear in the Coney Island’s Dreamland Sideshow, and she accepted because she needed to provide for her children.

 

And, so she did that. She made a lot of money. She earned about $50,000, which is more than $800,000 in today’s money. And she really just put herself out there and suffered the ridicule and the stares and the negativity of society so that she could provide for her four beautiful children.

 

Laura:

 

I feel like I get it. You know what I mean? Like, my very watered down version of this is how much I do not give a shit about my appearance anymore since I’ve had kids. You know what I mean? Or how my standards have changed so much in how little I care about what other people think or say about my appearance. And I’m not trying to use my appearance to put food on the table. So that must have been really rough.

 

Shanna:

 

It’s just heartbreaking. Here, I’m gonna send you some photos of Mary Ann. The first one is of her with her four children and then another one before her husband died.

 

Laura:

 

Okay. Let’s see. Oh, yeah. So before, she looks typical. Pretty attractive, I would say. And, yeah, you can just tell that her face has changed significantly. And, yeah, her hands. That must have been incredibly painful too.

 

Shanna:

 

Yes. Yes. That’s the other thing they were saying. She pushed through the pain, and towards the end, it was causing blindness and stuff, and it was very uncomfortable. I just wanna hug this woman. I just wanna hug her.

 

Laura:

 

I know. What an awful thing to have to go through, and I’m so glad she was able to do something to make the best out of it, I guess. I don’t know. People were cruel. Although I feel like if they were giving out money still for the ugliest woman, that would be something I could aspire to.

 

You know? Like, I would fully embrace it. Like, just try to… I don’t you know… everyone is chasing beauty. Right? Like, Botox and face serums and all the stuff. It’s like, “Oh, could I just try to chase the other direction because I would be good at that.” Like never washing my face? On it. On it.

 

Shanna:

 

Or maybe just the most ordinary, unshowered woman. Is there one of those?

 

Laura:

 

You want greasy hair? I got greasy hair.

 

Shanna:

 

Greasy hair for days.

 

Laura:

 

I don’t think there are, and that’s probably for the best.

 

Shanna:

 

Yes. So, Mary Ann Bevan, you deserve a Super Mom award for everything you endured to provide for your children. You are a Super Mom in our book. Alright, Laura. What’s your next Super Mom?

 

Laura:

 

Okay. Mine is jumping ahead way in time to present day 2023. And my Super Mom, it’s a little off our normal you know, “mom who saved their children, did everything for their kids’” template, but I think it fits. And so my Super Mom is a TikToker that I follow and absolutely love named Jen Hamilton. Do you know Jen Hamilton?

 

Shanna:

 

No.

 

Laura:

 

So she is a labor and delivery nurse, and she’s American. She lives somewhere in the south, I wanna say. I don’t know for sure, but she’s got a little bit of an accent. And I think she first came to TikTok fame by her “Will It Swaddle?” series. Do you remember this “Will It Swaddle?” series?

 

Shanna:

 

No.

 

Laura:

 

Let me send you one of her “Will It Swaddles” because I think you will enjoy it, and I wanna hear your narration of it.

 

Shanna:

 

Okay.

 

Laura:

 

So I’m sending you a video. It has 1,100,000 likes, so I don’t even know how many views that would be.

 

Shanna:

 

Okay. Let’s see. Oh my word. She’s gonna try to swaddle a chicken. Oh my word. I get it now. Will it swaddle? Like, will she be able to swaddle it? Oh my god. She’s laying a chicken down on its back on a bed on a swaddle.

 

Oh, here we go. There is no way this is gonna work. Well, I don’t know. That chicken looks kinda chill.

 

Laura:

 

Well, we know those L&D nurses. They can swaddle no one’s business. You know?

 

Shanna:

 

Yes. This chicken is here for it. You gotta be kidding me. What? I thought this thing would be flapping all over town, flying away.

 

Laura:

 

I have learned that she has the most pampered chickens in the world too.

 

Shanna:

 

So this isn’t just some stray chicken.

 

Laura:

 

It’s not a stray chicken she picked up off the road. She has pet chickens.

 

Shanna:

 

What the? She swaddled a chicken. This chicken loves it. Oh my word. That is a special skill right there. That’s not something I could do.

 

Laura:

 

And she obviously went viral for these videos because they’re hysterical. Right? Like, watching a chicken get swaddled. It’s also like what TikTok is made for. Right? Yes. But this is not why she’s a Super Mom. I mean, it is pretty amazing to be able to swaddle a chicken, but this is not what I’m here to talk about.

 

So she is a labor and delivery nurse, and I don’t know if she’s always talked about it or if she’s starting to do it more, but she’s starting to get more vocal about talking about the labor and delivery process, like trying to help other parents as they’re going through the process, what to expect and talking about things that pop up in the news related to amazing births or whatever. And she’s doing a lot of really great education.

 

She’s not shying away from evidence-based recommendations. Like, she had a thing about the Vitamin K shot. And there’s a lot of people who don’t want the Vitamin K shot, and she’s an L&D nurse. And she did great pieces on why you need to get it. Like, what’s important about it and in a non-shaming, non-judgy way.

 

Shanna:

 

Love it.

 

Laura:

 

So I highly recommend her feed just in general. But specifically, I think it was last February, she put up one of her videos where she was talking about how she preps pregnant people in labor for things that might happen, might go sideways during labor.

 

And it was kind of a long video, and she was talking about how she talks them through. And she’s so funny the way she says it. She’s like, “We know this baby is very spicy. So every time you have a contraction, the heart rate might go down, or every time you push, the heart rate might go down. We expect that. And babies, they may get extra spicy when they’re in the birth canal,” all this stuff. Right? It’s really cute. But she had kind of a line in there.

 

It wasn’t a throwaway line at all because it’s really important as I’ll mention in a second, but she had a a line that she kind of glossed over because it’s something that she apparently says all the time to her patients, which is, she says to them, “It’s okay to be scared because I’m not.”

 

Shanna:

 

Aw.

 

Laura:

 

And this is why she’s a Super Mom for a couple reasons. First of all, so many people have taken that phrase and used it that she has a whole series on TikTok now of people stitching her or sending her messages saying, “I use your phrase now in my practice all the time. Like, this is something that has really changed the life of my patients.” And she even made shirts or sweatshirts. Like, she has merch now that says it’s okay to be scared because I’m not. But here’s why I’m giving her the Super Mom crown specifically this week, because after I put the kids to bed last Sunday night, as Corey was kinda deteriorating, he was kinda panicking.

 

He was really, really scared. He was watching his numbers, his pulse ox numbers, and he was feeling absolutely like shit. He couldn’t even get up and walk to the bathroom without feeling like he was gonna faint. And he was starting to panic. Right? He was starting to get really worried. And he was like, “Who’s coming over to watch the kids? I need to go to the hospital. But I need to go right now.”

 

And I was like, “Okay. You know, we’re we’re I’m gonna find someone. I’m texting a bunch of people. We’re gonna find someone.” And he was like, “Maybe we should just call an ambulance.” He was obviously just super scared.

 

Shanna:

 

Yeah.

 

Laura:

 

I wasn’t about to call an ambulance because I thought that was A) overkill and B) gonna cost us thousands of dollars when we didn’t need to spend it.

 

And he was like, “How long is it gonna be till someone gets here and that’s not soon enough?” And I looked him in the eye, and I remembered this and I said, “It’s okay to be scared. I see that you’re scared, but I’m not.”

 

Shanna:

 

Aw.

 

Laura:

 

And I could see the change in him. He was just like, okay. You know what I mean? Because I think it’s so hard when you’re scared and you’re in your world that it seems like everyone you know, everything is scary. Right? Everything is urgent.

 

But for someone to say to you it’s okay that you’re scared, I’m not. I have control of the situation. We’re gonna be fine. And in retrospect, obviously, we were fine. Like, he wasn’t having a heart attack. He could make it to the hospital. So I just have to give Jen Hamilton a big gold star there because I wouldn’t have known that phrase if it hadn’t been for her and her TikToks.

 

And, honestly, I can see using it with my kids.

 

Shanna:

 

Right? That’s what I was gonna say. What an amazing thing to say to your kids because you are their safety, their comfort, their… you know, all of that stuff for them. So to say that to them, I think, must be very reassuring.

 

Laura:

 

Yes. So I am trying to employ it in my life more. Obviously, if you use it all the time, it probably loses its impact. But Yeah. I just wanted to thank Jen Hamilton for that.

 

Shanna:

 

I love it. I love that. And I love that it was able to help calm him down a little bit to get you guys to be able to go to the hospital in a less panicked fashion. That’s really good.

 

Laura:

 

Yeah. Okay. So that was my last Super Mom. Do you have one more?

 

Shanna:

 

I do. Should we do it after the break?

 

Laura:

 

I think we should.

 

Laura:

 

Alright. We are back, and Shanna has one more Super Mom to share with us. Shanna, put on your cape. Tell us, who’s your Super Mom?

 

Shanna:

 

Well, I don’t deserve a cape here, but I’ll tell you who does. Shelby Rideout.

 

Laura:

 

Wow. Okay. Who is Shelby Rideout?

 

Shanna:

 

Shelby Rideout is a mom of four. She’s a creator of a sign language and reading app for ages six months to four years old. She’s a teacher, and she is on TikTok with the handle BrightSignsLearning, which is where I came across her and her amazing video that I am about to tell you about. This one is much more lighthearted than my last one, I am happy to report.

 

Laura:

 

I just wanna say that we did not plan it this way, that we both were gonna pick historical stories and then go to TikTok stories. We’re just so in sync. We’re just so aligned.

 

Shanna:

 

Yeah. So Shelby posted a video where she is inside of a closet in her bathroom, and she is kind of whispering and talking to the camera. And she’s like, “You guys, my son’s new frog, we took him out of the aquarium to play with him in here, and he bounced around for three seconds, headed towards the vanity, and found a hole in the wall about the size of a golf ball, jumped inside the hole and is now stuck in the wall.”

 

Laura:

 

Oh no.

 

Shanna:

 

She’s like, “My son is in hysterics. He was screaming, Kermit. Kermit.” Like, so concerned that the frog was gone forever, that it was gonna die. They recently had a fish die the previous week, and this mom is like, “This frog is not gonna die on my watch. I am gonna lure this frog out.” The son at this point was asleep, which is why she’s whispering. He just passed out from being so wrought by this situation and crying and stuff.

 

So he’s sleeping, and she’s like, “I have a trap set up.” She’s got this little aquarium, and she has crickets in it. And she put it next to the hole and is trying to lure the frog out with crickets. She’s like, “I said a prayer to Saint Anthony. I’m playing crickets on my phone on Spotify. I’ve been in here for 30 minutes waiting to lure this frog out.” And then she turns the camera to the hole.

 

You can see the little green frog poking its head out of this tiny hole, and that’s how the video ends. It’s like, “Oh my god. What’s gonna happen to this frog?”

 

Laura:

 

Part two. Part two.

 

Shanna:

 

Part two. Right? Please do a part two. Okay. So she did part two. She’s in the closet. She’s looking much more tired with bloodshot eyes. She’s like, “You guys, I’ve been in here for two and a half hours. The frog is still in the wall, and the cricket got loose. The cricket’s gone.” She’s like, “My idea now is I have this tubing from our fish tank. It’s really small and thin. I think if I put it in the hole and kind of put it behind the frog, it will scare the frog to jump forward out of the hole because frogs don’t jump backwards. Right?” So she tries that, and the frog jumped backwards, back into the hole. So she is trying everything. So time lapse, she cuts to her in the dark.

 

She’s now turned off the lights. I guess a TikTok commenter on the other video suggested turning off the lights.

 

Laura:

 

Smart.

 

Shanna:

 

And so she turned off the lights. So she’s talking in the dark. She’s like, “Oh my god. It’s almost 2 hours and 45 minutes. I’m in here in the dark still trying to get this frog out of the wall.” And all of a sudden, the camera shakes, and she’s like, “Oh my god. Oh my god.” The lights flip on.

 

She’s like, “There it is. There it is.” And the camera’s going everywhere. She’s like, “Oh my god. Oh my god.” And you see the frog hop in the bathroom, and she grabs it, and she’s like, “Oh my god. I got it.”

 

And she turns the camera back on. She’s like, “I got it. Got it.” Her son wakes up from the excitement of it, and she was victorious. She quickly put the frog back into its aquarium. The son was like, “oh my god. Turn the flash off of that camera,” which she did. And he’s like, “How long were you waiting? Like, two hours? She’s like, “2 hours and 45 minutes, but we did it. The fish died this week because it didn’t survive my mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, but the frog has survived.” And I was like, I’m sorry. What? Come again? I guess she tried to give a dying fish mouth-to-mouth, which she didn’t realize at the time was probably futile because fish don’t get oxygen that way. But, anyway, she rescued the frog. She stuck it out. She was in a standoff with a frog for over two and a half hours, and she succeeded for her child.

 

Laura:

 

That’s amazing. You’re also giving me flashbacks to the time my mom tried to do mouth to mouth on a bunny.

 

Shanna:

 

Tell me more.

 

Laura:

 

We actually were visiting Scotland. This is before I had kids, and I was visiting Scotland with her and my stepdad, which is where my stepdad’s from. We were actually staying at a castle that used to be his boarding school. It was very Hogwarts. They had owls. It was a whole thing.

 

Laura:

 

But, anyway, they also have little bunnies that would hop around, little baby bunnies, and they were the cutest thing. And one day, my mom and I were out there watching the bunnies, and one just keels over. And my mom is like, “I know CPR!” And she goes to give this little tiny bunny CPR. And I’m just like, “Oh my god. Oh my god, mom. What if it has a virus or something.” Like, what is going on?

 

Shanna:

 

Did you whip your phone out immediately and get video of your mom doing mouth-to-mouth on a bunny?

 

Laura:

 

You know, in the excitement, I did not get a photo of her performing CPR on the bunny, but it is seared into my memory. Absolutely. Just Wow.

 

Shanna:

 

Yeah. Did the bunny survive the CPR?

 

Laura:

 

Unfortunately, no. I feel like maybe it was not revivable. You know?

 

Shanna:

 

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Surely. Oh my gosh. Your mom, she’s a superhero of her own brand, man. I love your mom.

 

Laura:

 

And I love this mom who saved the frog. She is obviously her son’s favorite person, next to the frog. Favorite person. Favorite human.

 

Shanna:

 

So I think that’s it for our Super Mom segment. Let’s move on to our BFPs and BFN, shall we?

 

Laura:

 

Good idea.

 

Shanna:

 

We wrap up every episode with our weekly big fat positives or big fat negatives. Laura, you’re up first. What do you got for us?

 

Laura:

 

I have a BFP. And this is the thing I alluded to in the first segment, which is who came to help us in our time of need when I had to take Cory to the ER, and that person is my friend, Kate. Kate is Auggie’s little best friend’s mom. We met because our kids were in the same preschool, and she and I have become buddies, along with a couple other preschool moms.

 

And the BFP is obviously for Kate specifically because she jumped on coming over to help. So I texted her and another mom from preschool who I knew lived really close to us because the time was important, obviously. I thought about texting you, but you live a half hour away. Right? I was like, it might be tough, so I thought I’d reach out to them first. So I texted both of them. One of them was busy and didn’t see my text, but Kate saw it. And within a minute, she was like, “Yep. I’m on my way over. Like, literally, I’m getting in my car right now.” And I was just so grateful, and I still am so grateful. She, without question, showed up with a KN95 on her face and was like, “Tell me what to do in case the kids wake up.” And I was like, super unlikely, but just comfort them. Do whatever they want. Like, do whatever they need.

 

Thankfully, they didn’t wake up, but it was also nice to know that it’s another mom who knows how to take care of kids and who my kids are familiar with. Right? They see her all time at drop off, and we’ve done tons of play dates together and stuff. So it was just so reassuring to realize that even though it may be small, I’ve developed a bit of a village through the preschool.

 

Shanna:

 

Yeah.

 

Laura:

 

And how invaluable that is. You know, you recently talked about how you’ve realized you don’t have a lot of friends really close by, physically close by to you, up there, and I realized, you know this is the exact type of situation where it’s clutch. Right? She was able to be over in 10 minutes, and no questions asked. She was so sweet. So, yeah, I just have to give my heartfelt thanks to Kate, for doing it without any questions or thoughts or reservations.

 

And as a thank you, I wanna plug her new business, which you all should be, following anyway. It’s called A Bit Better Press. You can find them on Instagram. But she started a side project where she was having trouble convincing her son, who’s my son’s best friend, to write thank you notes for his friends, right, for things.  And I was like, I have a solution. Just don’t do it. We don’t. But, Kate is a very polite person with manners, and she wanted to do that. So she realized that one way to get him to do it would be to create coloring-book style, thank you cards, where he gets to color it in himself. And so she created this whole line of color-it or paint-it-yourself cards. So there’s affirmation cards for both adults and kids, and there’s also thank you cards and stuff. And they’re so cute.

 

She sells them either by themselves or as a kit. They’re all being sold on Etsy. You can go get them. They’re super affordable. And it’s a fun little project. I recently went over to her house, and we painted a bunch of them, and it was so fun. Like, we did watercolors, and I was like, I wanna do this every day.

 

Shanna:

 

That is so cool. I love that idea. I definitely wanna get some for my girls. I don’t think they’ve ever done a thank you card, and I did them all the time growing up. It makes me uncomfortable to not do thank yous anymore. I don’t know. As a mom you get busy and if you know, you forget about it and it’s a mental load. But It doesn’t make me feel good. So I feel like this is gonna push me in the right direction to get back on that train.

 

Laura:

 

I just sent you their Instagram.

 

Shanna:

 

Oh, these are adorable. And they’re not too intricate, which is perfect for kids. You know? Some of the kids coloring books sometimes are a little too intricate. Like, my four-year-old can’t handle it. This is really cute. I love it.

 

Laura:

 

But, yeah, that’s my BFP. Thank you so much, Kate, for coming when we needed you, and, I appreciate you.

 

Shanna:

 

Yay. That’s so wonderful. Yeah. That really makes me be like, I gotta make more friends in my neighborhood. Because what happens I mean, I think we know our neighbors across the street. There are three houses of neighbors that I think I could call on, but, you know I want it would be nice if it was someone we go on playdates with a lot and really get to know. So, gotta get on that.

 

Laura:

 

Gotta get on it. But, anyway, that was my BFP. What do you have? A BFP or BFN?

 

Shanna:

 

I have a BFP. So Nana’s in town, so that means that me and Steve had a chance to go out. And I can’t even believe I’m about to say this. This is very embarrassing. I went to the movies for the first time in four and a half years.

 

Laura:

 

Woah, Shanna. That’s a long time.

 

Shanna:

 

The last time I went to a movie theater, I was pregnant with Cece, I’m pretty sure. And, yeah, I don’t know. Just having a newborn, then the pandemic, and then just forgetting that movie theaters even exist. Those are all my excuses. But we’re like, we wanna see Barbie. You know?

 

So we did. And, man, sitting in a movie theater with those big ass recliners and no one’s head in your way. It’s cushy and spacious. My seat was heated. okay? It had a heater on the butt. It was awesome.

 

Laura:

 

Wow.

 

Shanna:

 

I loved the movie. It was so fun. It was such a great thing to do that tapped into part of myself from the past, things I used to do all the time. So it was great.

 

Laura:

 

I’m so glad you did that, Barbie.

 

Shanna:

 

Oh, Barbie. So good.

 

Laura:

 

It was so good. Corey still hasn’t seen it. I went to see it with Kate, actually, and our other preschool mom friends. And, we saw it opening weekend, and now all of our husbands have not seen it. And they’re all guys who wanna see it. You know what I mean? Like, it’s not like, oh, let the ladies watch Barbie. Like, Corey, every weekend has been like, can I go see Barbie? Like, I’m just like, you’re gonna have to go, like after bedtime by yourself, I think, at this rate.

 

Shanna:

 

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That’s so funny. Steve got his hair cut recently, and he said he was telling his barber about Barbie, like, yeah. I’m really excited to see Barbie, and the haircutter was like, really? You wanna see Barbie? So he’s like, yes. I do. It’s supposed to be really good. Steve was on board with Barbie too.

 

Laura:

 

I thought you were gonna say he was gonna ask for the Ken haircut. Next time I see Steve, he’s got bleach blonde hair.

 

Shanna:

 

I could go for that. Then he can get a big fur coat.

 

Laura:

 

Then your house is gonna have to turn into the Mojo Dojo Casa House.

 

Shanna:

 

I don’t know about that. I don’t know. I think we’ll go for the Barbie dream house instead.

 

Laura:

 

Sounds good. Well, I’m so happy for you going to see a movie.

 

Shanna:

 

Me too. But, yeah, that’s it, and I think that’s it for our show.

 

Laura:

 

You are correct.

 

Shanna:

 

I do have a 5 star review to read.

 

Laura:

 

What? For us?

 

Shanna:

 

Yes. Yes. Because all our listeners are awesome. This review is from YeselG on Apple Podcasts. The title of the review is Where to Begin. 5 stars. “I started listening to this podcast back in 2021 when I first found out I was pregnant. During this time, I had just lost my mother due to COVID, and this podcast was my shining star during a dark, dark time. Thank you, Shanna and Laura, for all the advice and uplifting stories you guys shared. I didn’t have my mom to ask for parenting advice, but I’m so grateful I had you two. I look forward to every Monday to catch up like girlfriends at a coffee shop. Sincerely, thank you for this wonderful podcast.”

 

My heart. Oh my gosh. YeselG, I wanna hug you. I’m so sorry for your loss.

 

Laura:

 

Yeah. I mean, I just can’t imagine not having my mom during pregnancy and early parenthood, and that must be so hard. And I know for a fact that there are other listeners and people in our Facebook community who have gone through similar things and are missing their moms during this time, so, I’m really glad that we were able to give you some comfort. And, if you’re not in our Facebook community, you should join because, there’s definitely some very empathetic and supportive people in there who may be able to help.

 

Shanna:

 

Well, thank you so much for listening to our show and for taking the time to leave that wonderful review. We really, really appreciate it. And listeners, if you haven’t had a chance yet to leave us a 5-star review, could you please do us a favor and head on over to Apple Podcasts? Leave those five stars, say a few things you love about the show, and we might read it on an upcoming episode. If you have any super moms that you wanna tell us about, you know we would love to hear it. Laura, where can everyone find us?

 

Laura:

 

We’re on TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook at @bfppodcast. We have a website, bigfatpositivepodcast.com. If you wanna send us an email, you can always throw a voice memo in there. We love those. Just send it to contact at big fat positive podcast.com. And finally, if you wanna join that super supportive group I just mentioned, just search Facebook for Big Fat Positive Community and request to join because it’s a private group. Make sure you answer those two membership questions so we know you’re not a robot. Once you do that, you’ll be sent straight through to all the amazing stuff that’s going on in there.

 

Shanna:

 

Our show is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thanks for listening, everyone. Have a big fat positive week. Bye.