Hawaii With Young Kids: Vacation Highs and Lows – Ep. 271

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Shanna

Hi, welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. On this week's episode, we have our weekly check-ins, we have our special segment OMG, I'm freaking out, where we get into the topics of rambunctious rascals, writer strikes, and more, and we wrap it up with our weekly BFPs and BFMs. Let's get started.

Hi, welcome to episode 271. Hello, Laura. Hi, Shanna. How are you doing?

Laura

I'm doing pretty well. You want to hear about my week? Well, you betcha. OK, so this is actually going to be a short check-in for me because it's been a fairly uneventful week. For Augie it's been especially uneventful because it's the last week of his summer break and we didn't have anything like big plan no trips or you know trips to Disneyland or any of that stuff. Just sort of run of the mill trying to entertain a four and a half year old stuff so. I think we went to kidspace twice, which is the children's museum near us. We had some play dates and he's like sleeping until eight every day. It's nice. Yeah. But on the two and a half year old front, Sebastian actually started his first week at his new preschool this week.

Shanna

Oh, that's exciting.

Laura

How did that go? Really, really well. So as I've mentioned before, he's rolling right into the spot that his brother left vacant just a few weeks ago. Right. He's in the same classroom. He's with the same teachers, and he is like so happy. He's been wanting to go to the school, I think, for like a year at this point. He's just been like jealous at pick up and drop off. And he's like, why am I not there. So he finally got to do it. And you know, this school, they send photos throughout the day and updates. And it's like nice to know exactly what he's napping and what he's eating and all this stuff. So, you know, I'm feeling good about it because it's just like, you get photos and updates. And I was definitely missing that from the old school. Like I would get a very vague updates at the end of the day. Like, oh, yeah, you had a good nap. How long was it? Oh, it's like, okay. Um,

So now I'm getting my raw data that I can use. And he's so funny. Like, you know, I was thinking back to when Augie started at this school and like, oh, separation was so hard. And he'd cry at some drop offs. And it was like this whole thing on like day two of dropping Sebastian off this week. I like walk him up to the gate. His teacher's there to welcome him in. And I'm like, OK, baby, I love you so much. I go down to like hug him. He turns his back on me and just waltzes in like. Doesn't even look back like has absolutely no concerns. I'm just like okay. That's great. Bye. That's a good sign. It is a good sign. And the other report from school is that his teachers are just like kind of obsessed with him.

Aww.

Laura

How could they not be a little cutie pie? He is a cutie pie and he's, I don't know, he just, he still has like a babyish energy. He's still just so cute. And so like I pick up, you know, I was talking to the lead teacher in the classroom who obviously I know really well at this point. And she was, oh, he's had a great week, you know, we've been having so much fun. And she's like, oh, and everyone Everyone just wants to squeeze him. He's so cute. We all just love him. I'm like, I know.

Is he in a class with older kids? It's a mixed age. So yeah, it's two to four. So he's one of the younger ones. He is one of the youngest ones in the class. Yeah. But he's hanging in, you know, he's used to hanging out with four year olds. So he's like, not even, not even phasing him. So yeah, I'm really glad to report that it's been a smooth transition and it's just so heartwarming to see him get to have the same experience that Augie had. So yeah, that was our week.

Shanna

Hey, that sounds good.

Laura

How about you? You just have like a run of the mill boring week or what?

Shanna

You're saying that because you know what I did this week.

Laura

I did.

Shanna

I went to Hawaii with my family and it was a big deal for us.

Laura

Yeah, I bet. So before you go any further, I think we need to address the elephant in the room, which is you were in Oahu this week, right? Not Maui.

Shanna

Yes, and it's an elephant in the room because while we were there, there were the unfortunate fires in Maui and we were okay on that front.

Laura

Yeah, that was so scary and so sad. I know. But I was really glad to know that you weren't in Maui and you're in Oahu. So, okay, tell me about your trip. This was CeCe's first flight, right?

Shanna

Yeah, it was her first flight, our first big vacation as a family, and I was really nervous. I've been putting this kind of thing off for ages. Very reluctant to do something like this, but we are back and we are happy and full of memories of all sorts. It was really a mixed bag like the whole thing had its ups and downs as you would expect to travel with a family. And yeah, CeCe really loved the flight. She had no problems with it. Like the traveling aspect was great. Oh, good. They loved watching their pads.

Laura

Okay, so flights were uneventful, but what was the resort like? Like, where were you staying? What was your room like? Tell me all about it.

Shanna

It was so good. We were staying on the North Shore in a resort called Turtle Bay, which apparently is where they shot the movie. I almost said saving Private Ryan.

Laura

That is a very different movie. I think the one you're thinking of is forgetting Sarah Marshall.

Shanna

Yeah, forgetting Sarah Marshall. Yeah.

Laura

Someone should make a mashup of those two movies for getting Private Ryan.

Shanna

All right, so we stayed there and it was gorgeous. We learned that it went through a complete renovation and upgrade like during COVID. So it was even nicer than what it looked like in that movie. It was absolutely stunning. Like the views were just beautiful, water all around, every room has an ocean view. So we were just like, just, I don't know, in awe when we got there. The girls were hyper as shit just running around this, this lobby and I'm just like, you know how I am with hyperactivity at inappropriate times. So I'm like starting to get stressed. I'm like, calm down, calm down, like. Let's not show who we truly are as people in this very nice establishment. My God, my God. You're fancy girls, fancy, remember? Yes, right. I'm trying to get them to act fancy. It was not happening. But everyone was just so happy.

One happy accident is that Steve apparently booked us a room with something called Club Access, which we found out is a special area of the hotel that overlooks the sunset area. and provides like buffet style, very nice, very fancy meals, like three times a day. And we had access to this special area. Yeah. So we got like special bracelets and stuff. I was like, oh, what's club access? Like, I don't know. It turned out to be like the best part of the vacation, like especially for the kids. Like CECE cannot stop talking about the club because they We went there and they could eat whatever they wanted. There was like a huge dessert display every meal. Just like in the evening there's free drinks, you know? We were like drinking wine and like bottled old fashions in the evening. Like it was just awesome and the view was incredible and the seating was lovely.

So we didn't have to like spend money on restaurants and stuff like that.

Laura

That's great because that's a huge expense in Hawaii. I mean, yeah, really expensive.

Shanna

Yeah. And I didn't think we would eat like every meal there, but with a family, it was just so convenient to just be like, what are we, where are we eating? Oh, we're eating at the club, you know, not have to worry about it. So we went off campus a couple of times and ate, but so the club, the girls absolutely love the club. That was awesome. Sort of like a mini all-inclusive, it sounds like. Yes, it's kind of a way of making the experience all inclusive 100%. We quickly realized though that like doing activities was really hard with the kids because of their ages and like willingness to participate. You know, really it was the ages thing because it's like, oh, there's so much to do with this resort. You can like do horseback riding. No, the girls are too young. You could do snorkeling. No, CECE's too young. You can surf with a dog. Oh, well, CECE doesn't really actually like the ocean.

Laura

This is something you learned?

Shanna

Yes, yes. So like the ocean time was a little tricky because she got really scared. The waves were like baby waves. It was like on a bay. And she just was too scared. So she would sit and play in the sand. And one of us would have to be with her while the other played in the ocean with So there was definitely like limitations to, you know, doing this kind of thing with a family with young kids, but luckily they had pools that were amazing and the kids pool had slides and it was just awesome. We just spent so much time at that pool.

Laura

I'm the type of person who, like, I'll do an activity or two on vacation, but I don't want, I don't want activities. I just want to sit. I want to sit by the pool with a drink and stare out at the ocean. You know what I mean? Like, that's what I want. Yeah.

Shanna

And in this kind of location, that's enough. I mean, it's just like the visuals of the beauty and like the turquoise water, like that's just so fulfilling, right? And I was like, that's all I really need. Um, we did do a laymaking class. Well, the girls did. So that was really fun and cute. As I mentioned, uh, right in the middle of our trip is when the fires on Maui broke out. So, you know, receiving that news while we were there was like kind of sad, you know, and unfortunate. And the fires broke out because there was a hurricane about 600 miles south of Hawaii. and they were creating crazy winds. I mean, and the winds are what was fueling the fires over there, right? We fortunately did not get any fires, but the wind was outrageous. I mean, it was like so, it was blowing probably like 40 miles an hour. The palm trees were like practically sideways.

They couldn't put up umbrellas at the pool because they would knock over. We were definitely dealing with a lot of wind and that didn't affect us too much except for one day. We were on the sixth floor in the hotel and we went to get on the elevator to go down and another woman was there and we all got in the elevator and we start to go down and all of a sudden everything goes black. The elevator stops, the elevator goes black. And we're all like, oh my god, like the story that ran through my mind of like, oh my god, you're so fucked. We're going to get stuck in this elevator forever with these children and this lady. And oh my god, I was like panicking. Yeah. And Steve kept his cool and like took out his phone and like lit up the buttons and stuff. We're like trying to figure out what do we do? You know, it's like hitting the call button and nothing's happening.

And the girls are like, what's going on? And me and this lady are just like, oh my God. But then the electricity came back on. We didn't know if it was electricity. We didn't know anything, right? We just got an elevator and all of a sudden it went black and the elevator got stuck. And the lights came back on, but the elevator wasn't moving. And I'm like, it's okay, girls, it's okay. And just like, oh my God, what is this going to be like if we're stuck in here for ages? And the elevator goes down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down. It's going slow, but then it stops. And they're like, what is happening? And then it goes boo and goes up and Steve's like, I think it's resetting. Oh my God. I'm like, okay. We're just like standing there waiting to see what is going to happen. And finally, a couple of minutes later, the doors open and we are in the lobby.

And we're all just like, whew, we come out and the girls are like, we just got stuck in the elevator telling strangers. And the guy was like, yeah, the electricity here just went out. So we're like, oh, the wind knocked out the power to the entire resort. And we just happened to be in the elevator at that very moment that that happened.

Laura

Oof, that's scary. I made the mistake once of reading this long New Yorker piece about elevators. Oh no, oh god. And it tells the story of a guy who got stuck in an elevator for like 40 something hours. Oh, no. Yeah. And then it went on to talk about the history of elevator accidents and elevator safety. And one takeaway from it was that modern elevators are very safe. And it's unlikely you'll get stuck in it for very long. But sometimes weird shit happens. And I'm just like, ugh. So I definitely would be freaking out a little bit, I think, at least on the inside.

Shanna

Yeah, and the girls, oh, for Cece especially, this was like a big moment for her every time we got in the elevator again. She's like, I don't like going down. I only like going up because we got stuck going down. No. And she was telling every stranger that we got in the elevator with that we got stuck. And so that's a big part of her vacation story.

Laura

Wow. But hopefully that was the worst of it. That was the lowest low of your... Why are you laughing?

Shanna

Okay, so when I was packing for Hawaii at the last second, I was like, you know what? I'm going to bring the thermometer and the pain reliever, the kid's pain reliever. Because you know, it's where the Yagers and we're always sick, whatever. We'll just bring, even though three of us just got over COVID, like surely we're going to be fine in Hawaii. By the second night, we're eating at the club, and Elle is lying down on the booth with her head in my lap, so tired. I need to go to bed now. And that is not her at all. So immediately, I'm like, oh no. And I feel her forehead. She's totally hot. I'm like, good thing I brought that thermometer. So we bring her up to go to bed. She has a fever. I had brought a COVID test. Luckily, it was not COVID. And I thought, OK, maybe it's heat exhaustion. She played really hard. It was really hot. I let her get her rest in the next morning.

She still had that fever. And I was like, God, I gave her pain reliever and she like bounced back and played in the pool and the beach all day and everything. I was like, I don't know. Maybe it's just a tiny bug by day three. Like she's. complaining of a sore throat. She still has a fever. I'm like, no, Steve looks in her mouth. She's got white spots on her throat. No. I know. I'm like, oh my God. I think she has strep in Hawaii. And we need to get her antibiotics because she's not getting better. So Steve finds an urgent care nearby. I'm not sure of Hawaii, which we go to and they're like, I'm sorry. So this is not an urgent care. This is an emergency room. There's no urgent cares within like a 45 minute drive of the island. So we had to go to an urgent care down in Kanioi, which is about a 45 minute drive around the east side of the island.

And I was, you know, bummed that that's something we were going to have to spend time doing on our trip. But Laura, it ended up being actually one of the highlights of the trip because the drive is unbelievably beautiful. It's along the Kamehameha Highway, which just is right next to the coast. Like at times the waves were literally splashing our car onto the street. Like we were that close to the water. It's so blue in turquoise. And right on the left side of the street are these mountains that are like so tall and green. They look like the Jurassic Park set, right? I mean, it was gorgeous. And when I see that kind of beauty, I am like just transcended it to a different place. I was so happy inside. My kids are like complaining in the back seat about whatever. And I'm just like, I'm in paradise. And I just loved seeing the view.

I was like, this is like the one chance we really had to like get out of the resort and really see the island and the beauty and stuff. And so it turned out to be okay. She wasn't like super sick, which was nice. She wasn't like suffering. So I felt okay appreciating the beauty. But yeah, she got tested for strep that lit up positive right away. We got a three-day Z-Pack, which just started, and it was perfectly fine by the next morning.

Laura

Wow, antibiotics are amazing. Yeah, they are.

Shanna

So it's just like a trip of highs and lows and lots of good food at the club.

Laura

Okay, but Shanna, you talked a lot about what you did with the kids and how you took care of the kids and all the stuff you did with the kids, but did you do anything for you? Did you get any Shanna relaxing time?

Shanna

Besides staring at mountains on the drive to urgent care. I did, you know what? I think I'm gonna save that for my BFP. We'll do that in the third segment.

Laura

Sounds good. Okay. Okay. So it sounds like that is the end of your trip report. I am still jealous, even though you had some elevator entrapments and a strep throat, but it does sound like Hawaii's beautiful. And also, I just want to say that like, you know, the timing really sucks about going there at the same time as this disaster in Maui, which is so sad and still unfolding. And we are going to put in the show notes some places you can donate to help support the victims of the fires in Maui because I've spent a lot of time in Maui and a lot of time in Lahaina and my heart is absolutely breaking. for everyone over there. So I'm really glad that you are OK and you weren't in Maui and my heart is breaking for Hawaii and Maui specifically. So we will put some links in the show notes.

And in the meantime, I think we need to take a break because we're going to come back with a really great special segment. Let's do it.

Okay, we are back in our special segment this week is OMG, I'm freaking out. Where we get to vent about all the things that are stressing us out right now. Cause we don't do that every week, right, Shanna?

Shanna

Never.

Laura

It's all roses and daisies in our world. Well, this is a special spot for us to just give ourselves permission to worry. It's like our planned worrying segment. So I want to know what are you freaking out about?

Shanna

Well, let me start off by giving you a little story about something that happened recently that elucidates my concern. OK. Nana was in town. That's my mom. Nana was in town recently. And she was like, I would love to buy the girls some back to school clothes. Like, let's take them clothes shopping. I was like, hey, that's perfect. I would love that. They would probably really love that. So my mom and I take the girls to Target, the nice, special Target near us. We've got a couple, but we went to the big, fancy Target because they have more stuff in stock.

Laura

You know, you've reached peak mom when there's like, you can rank the good targets, right?

Shanna

Oh, I know. I've just outed myself as a mom on my mom podcast.

Laura

Oh, I for sure have like a hierarchy of targets. Right. And then when you like look at the online ordering and you realize that like the thing you want is not at the good target and you're just like, man, I gotta go to the bad target.

Shanna

Fine. Fine, fine, I guess. So we go to the Good Target and things start becoming hairy as soon as we see the escalators. They love the escalators. They run up to them. Cici doesn't 100% do it perfectly, but she has to do it on her own. And she's kind of losing her stuff. But whatever it is about the escalators, it jazzes them up. We get up into the Target and they immediately see candy, they're like, can we have this music candy? I'm like, fine, fine. I don't let them eat it yet, but like I've given in to their whim of what they want. And by the time we get to the clothes section, the energy level and hyperactivity of these children is off the fucking chart. I mean, they are bonkers. They are running around, looking at clothes, grabbing clothes.

barely even paying attention like do you what about these like pants what do you think about these yeah yeah yeah and then they like run off because they're playing with each other and they're like zooming around and they're hiding inside of racks and I mean I remember kind of like hiding in racks when I was a kid you know I think that's to be expected but the way they are amping each other up and getting so incredibly loud and so energetic is like overwhelming. I'm just like, girls, stop, stay near me. They're just running off. Half the time I'm like, where's CeCe? Where's Elle? And they're off behind some other clothes. And I'm embarrassed, of course, because my mom is there. And I'm like parenting in front of her. She's wonderful and accepting and everything. But it's just like, oh my god, I cannot control these kids. No one else's kids in this target are acting like Tasmanian devils.

No one else is doing this and I'm trying to pick out clothes and I can't focus because they're just being wild. And I'm sad to say this is not the first time this has happened while we've been on a shopping trip. So what I'm freaking out about is that my kids have no manners for shopping in stores. I just feel like I can't control them. I don't know what to do. And I'm terrified now of future shopping trips with them.

Laura

Well, and we know that this is a trigger for you, right? We've talked about this. We've talked about this, Shanna, in the past.

Yes. How wild behavior in situations that you deem inappropriate or it just gives you anxiety, right?

Shanna

Oh, it spikes my anxiety so badly. I just get so worked up and...

Laura

I don't know. I don't know what to do about these kids. What happens if you are there with just one of them at a time? Does this still happen? Much better. Yeah. Much better.

Shanna

Yes. The real problem is that they wind each other up and just really go over the top and like one starts running and the other has to chase and they just, they don't listen. And of course, I'm like bemoaning to my mom, like, oh, you know, God, this is so stressful and stuff. And she was like, I hate to say it, Shanna, but I think you need to be more of a disciplinarian. I'm like, I know I'm a jellyfish mom. And like, I don't like yelling at them and public.

Laura

I also think your mother is absolutely lovely and this is nothing on her. I think this would happen with literally anyone giving you advice, but I hate getting parenting advice externally in situations like this. Even if she's right, there's just something not always so helpful about it in the moment. Because instead of it just being advice that you should take a face value for me at least i interpret it as like. Judgment right like if my mom were to say that to me when she said stuff like that to me like instead of just be like oh thank you for the feedback i'm like. You think I'm a terrible mother and I'm doing everything wrong.

Shanna

I will say this advice came like after the situation we were in the car kind of like whisper talking about what the hell just happened to us in our life that we had to live through and I'm just like I don't know what to do. And I welcomed it because, you know, I feel like I do need to be called out on stuff like this sometimes, because sometimes I am too, I don't know, soft or something, because I really like truly was like, why aren't other kids in the store acting bananas? Like, I really ask myself that all the time. And like, what is it? And I'm like, I think some of the problem might be me. I need to have firmer boundaries with this kind of stuff. My mom had great ideas. She's like, maybe next time set the boundaries ahead of time. Here's the behavior I expect of you in the store. And she's like, don't buy them candy as soon as you get in the store.

Maybe you can say yes to something. later, like if they have good behavior, and maybe you could do practice trips. Like she had such awesome ideas, and I was like, okay, yes, yes, yes. This is all really good.

Laura

Damn, your mom needs to like get herself an Instagram a la Dr. Becky and get all this advice.

Shanna

Yeah, right? Dr. Janet, yes. I'm telling you, my mom, she's awesome. So yesterday, I had to take the girls to Trader Joe's to go grocery shopping by myself. And I was like, oh my God, this is... This is going to be crazy, but I'm going to try to do some of the stuff I talked about with my mom. So before we got there and the car is like, girls, in the store, you stay near me. And Cici's like, and you don't be loud. And I'm like, yes, you don't be loud. Like let's not be wild and crazy. And we get in and it's going really well. Immediately they want cookies because there's a cookie display. I want cookies. I'm like, no, we will choose a sweet treat at the very end after you have good behavior. And it's all starting to go really well. And by the time you get to the cheese aisle, I see Elle getting excited and getting that energy and it's ramping up and I'm seeing it.

And I'm like, Elle, you're getting too excited. Like you got to calm down. We're in a store. and they're starting to spin and do dance moves and grab all the cheese they want. By the fifth time, I remind Elle that her energy is getting up there and she needs to calm down in a very sweet way. She's like, why? What do you want? You want me to be like this? And she slumped to the floor in Trader Joe's and started crawling on the floor like a slug. And I was like, gross. That's when the disciplinary enemy came out. I didn't even care. I was like, no, get off the floor right now. And she was like, OK, OK. And so I don't know. I feel like I'm doing everything wrong because, you know, then people look at you and I don't know, Laura.

Laura

I feel like it's a lose, lose situation going out with kids in public.

To be honest.

Shanna

Truly. But do your kids act like bozos like this?

Laura

Um, bozos. That's just such a funny way to put it.

Stores are not our problem. Stores are not our problem. Restaurants, we've talked about, restaurants are tricky. And honestly, like, our problem tends to be more at home, like, dinner time. They just do not listen. Like, it feels like you are trying to tell them something and it just goes in one ear and out the other. And it's just like, How am I going to get them to do anything? I'm not trying to teach compliance, right? I'm not trying to bend them to my will, but sometimes you have to get your kids to do shit. Yes. I don't know. I don't have the answers. I understand when you get people who are really strict disciplinarians or who have a bunch of reward systems and stuff because it's like, how You get your kids to do stuff without just like laughing in your face? I don't know. I don't know.

Shanna

I don't know either.

Laura

So that, my friend, is why I'm freaking out. I'm sorry. Well, it sounds like maybe online shopping is the way to go for now.

Shanna

Maybe that's why I've done so much online shopping in my life in the last couple years. Like, yeah, we usually do drive up and stuff. But I was like, no, we'll go to Target. You can try stuff on.

Laura

And then the dressing rooms are closed anyway, so whatever Target is tricky too because they have everything and the kids know they have everything So like it's hard for me to take Augie there because he knows there's toys, you know, and it's like I just don't even take him to Target like but I take him to grocery stores a lot He's not as amped by groceries. He doesn't like food. You know what I mean? Like all he likes are like three food So when we go to the grocery store, it's like whatever

Shanna

He's not like, mama, mama, I want this jar of olives with the garlic in it, like my kids are.

Laura

Oh my god, that sounds really delicious. But no, he does not.

Shanna

Oh my gosh, these kids.

Laura

I will say I get pretty amped in the Trader Joe's cheese aisle too, so I sympathize with Elle.

Shanna

Yeah, it's an exciting place to be. All right, you are up. I want to know what you're freaking out about.

Laura

So I am freaking out about recalls, Shanna. Recalls on what I had two of my children's beloved products recalled recently and it's just made me feel so like distrustful of everything okay so the first. product that I found out there was a recall on was actually you know despite the fact that I had a little bit of retroactive anxiety that like oh my gosh my kids could have gotten hurt I was actually very happy to hear about the recall because this was one of the most annoying things we owned and that was a singing baby shark bath toy.

Shanna

I'm sorry I don't mean to laugh that is not the item I thought you were gonna say could have done harm to your child okay.

Laura

Never in a million years would I thought, oh, this baby shark bath toy is going to get recalled. I also did not buy this for my children. I should point out like no parent in their right mind would voluntarily buy this, I think, for their kids. This was 100 percent a grandma purchase. My mom bought this for the kids. And to be fair, she knows what they like. They fucking love this thing.

Shanna

Yeah, grandmas know.

Laura

It was a little plastic toy shark that has like these little like electrodes on the sides, basically, that when you put it in water, it activates a circuit. So it starts singing baby shark and flapping its fins so it like floats around and sings baby shark and swims. And good God, the best and worst toy ever, right? Because the kids fucking loved it. But I hated it.

Shanna

As if we haven't heard enough baby shark in our life at this point, we need a toy that does it on repeat.

Laura

And I've been lucky. My kids do not care about baby shark. I mean, they know about it because everyone knows about it. But you know what I mean? Like they've never asked to listen to it. I'm lucky in that respect. But they, you know, whatever, this toy was animatronic and they loved it. Apparently, as I learned from a Facebook post that like popped up on my feed that was like warning, recall, the fin, like the top fin, is that the dorsal fin on a shark? Sure. Is that the top one? I don't know. Let me look it up. Okay, yes, I just looked it up. It's the dorsal fin, the one like on its spine, right, that points up. It's made out of hard plastic and apparently some children like fell on it And it caused like lacerations and puncture wounds because it's like too hard. Oh, no. I know. So that got recalled, but I was like, great, get this thing out of my house, right? Yeah.

And the recall process was actually really funny. You had to like write on it like do not use or something like that and Sharpie. And then you had to like cut the like soft back fin off of it. Anyway, it's then you take a picture to prove you had destroyed it or whatever. Uh-huh. But then like the next week, I got a notice on Amazon that another thing that we use all the time had been recalled and it was these cup can insulated like stainless steel cups that have like a lid like there. I think they're marketed as smoothie cups.

Shanna

Okay.

Laura

And I'm a little nervous about buying like kids eat like anything that goes into kids mouth on Amazon because there's a lot of, you know, sketchy products and I'm a little concerned about lead and all that stuff. So I actually like did my research on this company and they like had all these third party verifications and it looked very legit. And it turns out that there's like, so when you have an insulated cup, It's like hollow, right? But they have to like seal it up. And whatever metal they use, like a little bit of molten metal to like seal up the bottom. And apparently the little bit of molten metal that they use to seal up the bottom had more lead than it should have. And they claimed their third party verification system failed them. Like the company voluntarily recalled them and like said that they stand by the safety of their products and blah, blah, blah.

But I'm just like, oh, cool, cool, cool. So my kids have been drinking out of a cup. That's like what they would drink their chocolate milk out of. Like Augie, at least like twice a week would be drinking out of this cup that could have been contaminated with lead. Cool, cool. And I like went out of my way to try to find a product that supposedly was verified and still, no. So, yeah. Anyway, that's what I'm freaking out about.

Shanna

That's really disheartening. Have kids gotten lead poisoning from these cups?

Laura

No. So the thing about and the thing they're claiming is that it's like super unlikely that any lead would like migrate, right? Like it's on the very bottom of the cup and it's also sealed off. So like it would take like extra steps for it to actually end up like on the drinking surface of the cup. But obviously you don't want any lead in anywhere nearby. So yeah. Yeah. But anyway, that's what I'm freaking out about. Just like the uncertainty of being a consumer. Like the protections are like, I don't know, very piecemeal, very patchwork. And I don't know. It's hard to know like who to trust or what to do.

Shanna

Yes. And you buy so many things when you have babies and kids, like there's just this influx of stuff that you get. And it's like, I hope it's all good and safe.

Laura

Yeah. Anyway, there's no answers there. I mean, there are some answers like you should only be buying from like verified sellers and all that stuff and probably not buying on Amazon at all. But I don't know. I thought I had taken all the right steps and still recall. Oh, I'm sorry, friend. Thanks.

Shanna

It's frustrating.

Laura

Anywho, do you have another GM freaking out?

Shanna

Yeah, I have one more. Well, I have a million more, but I'm only going to talk about one more.

I have been freaking out lately that I don't have any friends. I mean, and no offense to you. I know, I know, I know.

You are my friend. I think it's more like a neighborhood thing or something. Like when we moved from North Hollywood up to the suburbs, It's just so far away and then like I got really involved just like with being a mom to a newborn and then the pandemic and I think I'm coming out of all of that now and I'm just like wow I'm left with like no real like friends or connections up here and like my connections I had back then are like way on the other side of town so it's a little trickier to get together and I don't know I just feel concerned about this because I like people and I like having friends and making friends is usually not a problem for me. Like I can, like I've made acquaintances here, like certain kids moms, you know, I've kind of connected with and some people in my buy nothing group and everything, but everything has kind of stayed at this like surface level.

And I'm starting to think like if I actually want to make friends and connect with people and hang out with them outside of our kids or anything like that, I'm going to have to take some steps too. take initiative and set some stuff up and put myself out there a little more, which, you know, that's always a little nerve wracking. Cause I'm always like, people are too busy. They're like, they don't want to like spend their free time with me. I don't know. I'm just feeling a little insecure and like just wishing I had more friends nearby.

Laura

I get that. Here's the thing. You have to do it. Like you have to just take the initiative and do it because everyone else is probably thinking the exact same thing. Like, Oh, Shanna seems cool, but she's so busy. She's got two kids and a full-time job. And I don't want to bother her, right? Somewhere out there is one of the other moms that you've met and you thought, oh, they're cool, you know? But like, I've kind of done this with the preschool little like mom group I've become friends with from Auguste preschool, now Sebastian's preschool. It's kind of to be the pushy one, you know, be like, hey, who wants to get coffee? Who wants to do this? And it takes time to, you know what I mean? Like you got it. It's kind of like dating. Oh, you know what? That reminds me, you know, there's like Bumble BFF now, right? Have you heard about this? No, what's that like?

It's the dating app Bumble, but to make friends.

Maybe that's what I need to do. You should try it. I don't know. Maybe it costs money, so you shouldn't try it if that's the case.

Or maybe you can find space in your budget for it. But yeah, I mean, I think honestly, everyone feels this way. And if you have acknowledged it, just go. I mean, what's the worst could happen? They don't want to hang out. They're already not hanging out. Yeah, true.

Shanna

True. Very true. Like, what stuff do I invite people to do? I know that sounds silly, but I feel like back in the day, it's like, oh, let's go get a drink. I just don't know that everyone is open to that really anymore. Like, I don't know.

Laura

Well, one thing I organized that I talked about was like I had a movie night with my mom friends. I just texted and was like, hey, who wants to go see Barbie? Barbie kind of is a good catalyst. So I don't know. See if anyone wants to go see a movie or I don't know. I think you ease into it by being like, let's hang out with the kids and then branch out. But I feel your friend. Your friends down in far away Los Angeles are still here, but you know, it's good to have friends nearby.

Shanna

Yeah, true. So I don't know. I'm putting the intention out there. I definitely want to make some more connections. And I guess I just got to suck it up and work on it. Time to suck it up, Shanna. All right. What about you? Do you have one more OMG I'm freaking out for us? I do, but I was thinking we could do it after the break. Oh, let's do it.

We're back and Laura has one more OMGM freaking out for us. Laura, what is it? It's money. Money.

Laura

No. Money. I mean, it's a lot of things around money, but it really boils down to money. Yeah. So we haven't talked about this a lot on the podcast, but there is a strike going on. Mm-hmm. The Writers Guild of America has been on strike for over 115 days at this point. I should look up exactly when it is. But yeah, it's a lot. It's a long time. And as you know, Corey is a TV writer and makes his money by writing for television, which he's not allowed to do for money right now because it's on strike. And we 100% completely support the strike. He's like a strike captain this time around and you know we met on the picket line the first time around you know we definitely support the guild and unions in general now sag is on strike the screen actors guild sag after so Corey has not been able to make money doing.

His profession and he's looked for like little things little gigs he could pick up here and there but he hasn't really been able to find anything you know like it's hard it's hard to just pick up work especially when you have no idea when the strikes gonna end right mm-hmm so that means that we've been living off savings for months and months and months and whatever I can make. And, you know, I've sort of taken an extended maternity leave, if you will. We continue to produce the podcast and we do make some money on the podcast. Thank you for listening to the ads. But, you know, it's not enough to pay our mortgage. You obviously still have a full-time job. So does Steve. So that should give our listeners a sense of what, you know, we still need to work. So I've been trying to get back into the swing of things, you know, now that the kids are back in school,

I'm like okay I have time during the day, I can pick up more web development gigs. maybe even get a full-time web development job. I'm kind of throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks right now. And unfortunately, nothing is sticky. Like all the spaghetti is falling off into a heap for my cats to eat at the floor. And I'm just stressed aathabatic.

Shanna

I don't blame you. And the one gig you did pick up ended up not working out, right?

Laura

It fizzled out. The gig itself was just kind of a mess like I think what happened is they brought me on thinking that I could like take it over the finish line like launch the site and then when I got there I was like oh guys this is way more messed up than you thought it's not going to be launched anytime soon and then they were like oh shit well. We got a reassess, right? Oh So I checked recently like they're still not they're still not launched like I think they're just changing like scope or something anyway the point is like that I've just been like sending out my resume and trying to trying to do anything and failing and it's it's really disheartening and it comes back to parenting in that like I It's making me question my decision to sort of take so much time off, quote unquote. To be fair, the pandemic had a lot to do with it.

Having two kids in quick succession during a pandemic had a lot to do with it. But I can't help but feel that I kind of screwed myself over by not staying active in the workforce. all this time.

Shanna

Are you feeling like a hole in the resume is the problem or just like the lack of keeping up with like work relationships and stuff like that is the problem? Like where is the pain points there?

Laura

I feel like it's kind of twofold. So on one hand, you know, work begets work, right? Like the more, as a freelancer at least, like the more you work, the more people refer you out. Like, you know, I had gotten to the point before I had Augie where I was turning down work all the time because I was totally booked up. But you know i went away from my maternity leave and those clients find other developers i'm a web developer and i even mentioned that i'm a web developer in my day job. So you know the the context kind of dry up. So that's been my experience like I've reached out to my old contacts and they're all like, oh, cool. It's great to know that you're back, you know, in the swing of things. We don't have anything for you right now because obviously we've had to find someone else to work with in the meantime. But and everyone's really nice. Oh, well, we'll reach out if we need you.

But, you know, it's been crickets so far. And then the other side of it is sort of like keeping up to date with my skill set, you know, development changes so fast. And I'm having a bit of a crisis of faith about my skills, which I think, I think it's imposter syndrome creeping in like I don't think that I'm that far behind. But, you know, I'll look at these job listings and they're listing all these sort of newer technologies that I don't know as well. And I'm like, oh, shit, like I got a lot of learning to catch up on. So, yeah, I don't know if it's just a confidence thing or if it's like real. But yeah, it's just stressing me out.

Shanna

Oh, that's so frustrating. Yeah, I think a lot of it must be psychological because I worked with you when you were a web developer. I was a project manager on several projects we worked on and your skills are amazing. You're so efficient. You get shit done on time and make sure stuff happens and sites go live. You know what, listeners? If you need some web development or you know someone who does, Reach out to Laura, honestly, because she does amazing work. And for your break or not, I know that you still have skills. You're just amazing at that work. So yeah, listeners, if you know of anyone, reach out to Laura. She has my seal of approval.

Laura

Thanks, Shanna. You're not biased at all. But we did work together professionally. So you do know how I work. Yeah, people, if you need someone who knows how to build a WordPress site, like back and forth, up and down from the ground up, just reach out. I need to jump. So yeah, okay, I'll stop pitching myself to our listeners. But seriously, listeners, I need some gigs, so reach out. Okay, so thank you for letting me do some free advertising on our podcast, and maybe that'll help me not freak out so much about it.

Shanna

Yeah. Yeah. There you go.

Laura

But yeah. And hopefully the strike will be over soon.

Shanna

I know. I know it's gone so long. That's so hard for so many people.

Laura

And it really is. I mean, it's it's a lot. So anyway, bosses at the studios do the right thing. Pay your workers. Yes. All right. Yes. So on that note, should we move on to our final segment?

Shanna

We should indeed.

We close every episode with our weekly BFPs or BFNs. Laura, you're first. What you got for us?

Laura

Okay, I had a BFP and it comes out of discovering a BFN, which was that all of my kid plates got really gross. And I suddenly came to a realization that all the silicone and plastic plates that my kids were eating off of were tainted with a soapy flavor. I may have talked about this before on the podcast about the silicone plates, picking up kind of like whatever flavors are sitting on it. Like, have you noticed that? A while back I noticed the silicone plates like the easy peasy ones I had had like picked up a soapy flavor like just kind of like gross rancid like not a good flavor. Something that someone had like alerted me to that the silicone really like holds on to like soap if you put it in the dishwasher or like flavors of things that are on it.

Shanna

You know what? That makes me realize that the silpat I use, like on my baking sheet, you know, like one of those silicone baking mats, I always use it for cinnamon rolls instead of like putting foil or anything down. Well, I cooked salmon the other day and I was like, I'll just use that, that silpat thing. And my salmon totally tasted like cinnamon rolls. And I think that's why. I think it has been absorbing the flavor of the cinnamon rolls and then re-released it into my salmon. It was not a good combo.

Laura

I mean, that's better than your cinnamon rolls tasting like salmon. I gotta admit. True, true, true. Which might happen next time. Yeah, I have really turned on these silicone plates and stuff because they absorb scent and flavor and it's gross. So I had like kind of stopped using the silicone, but I'd still been using these like eco plastic plates that we had had for a while. Until Corey, like, all of a sudden was like, have you tried food off of this? Like, it tastes soapy. And I was like, what? Like, seriously, this too? And I did. And I was like, oh, shit. Like, this is tasting soapy, too. So I was on a tear because I am convinced that a portion of Augie's picky eating stuff is a result of me using these silicone plates and not realizing that they tasted soapy. And he's like a very sensitive flavor, you know, taster.

And I think I was feeding him food that tasted gross because of it for a while. So I was worried about that. I didn't want anything to do with that. So I was like, going on a tear, trying to figure out what I should order. And I finally landed on stainless steel. I was like, OK, it's machine washable. Sure, you can't put it in the microwave. But my kids are like allergic to hot foods or allergic to warm foods, you know, like everything is hot. So that's not a big deal. So I decided on stainless steel and then I found that they make these like really colorful stainless steel plates. Ooh, I'm going to send you the exact listing I got off of Amazon, but there's a lot of different brands. Let me send it to you.

Shanna

Please do because I've also been feeding my kids off of silicone and plastic and now I want to change that.

Laura

Okay, I just sent you the listing. Ooh, those are pretty.

Shanna

They're like blue and purple.

Laura

like iridescent right iridescent yeah that's the word i was looking for yeah so the brand i got is biz darun which is like you know it's one of those amazon brands that's like not a real brand yeah stainless steel plates they're rainbow colored these ones i got them on prime day actually so they were a lot cheaper but uh these ones are 30 for four so it's not the cheapest but they are very sturdy because they're stainless steel. They also make like divided plates. If you want them, you can find them. They make like cups and spoons and forks and stuff. I want to make sure everyone understands that I am not doing this from like a health and safety perspective. There may be health and safety reasons to move away from plastic and silicone. That's not where I'm coming from. I just don't want the food to taste gross and I want it to be machine washable.

So that is why I got these stainless steel plates and they're so cute and the boys were so excited to eat off them because they're so like colorful and fun. And now they're super into it. I will say the only downside is that it took Sebastian like a couple days to realize that mommy and daddy don't like it when you scrape your metal fork on the metal plate.

Shanna

Oh, I got chills thinking about that.

Laura

But he got over it. He got over it. Yeah.

Shanna

But yeah, stainless steel plates. That's my BFP. So I'm assuming that you're not just serving them off of your own regular dinner plates because you're worried about breakage. You're looking for something that's not breakable?

Laura

Yes, because they end up on the floor a lot. Sebastian's still young enough that sometimes he gets mad and will like throw a plate. Augie, he's just not focused like he he wiggles his body. He's not he's not good at sitting still and there's just a lot of times where that elbow just goes flying and the plate goes flying. So I do think we're close to serving them on our own plates like we could probably do it. But they're also kind of big and bulky and heavy. These are light enough. They may be independent. So if like Augie's these days, he wants to set the table. He's like, can I help set the table? And I'm like, yes, please. I'd love that. So he can do that without me worrying about like, oh, he's going to drop it. slices head open when he falls on the cracked plate or whatever. Yeah. Anxiety. So is it improving his eating habits? Good question. Could be.

I mean, it's not making it worse. He recently tried hot dogs for the first time and said he liked it. Oh. I know. It might also be because he's super into SpongeBob and I think they eat hot dogs on the show. Oh. Okay. But I mean, yes, he has started trying things very slowly, but he started trying things more. So I don't think it hurts, you know? Yeah. Well, that's good. Okay. So that was my BFP. I'm curious. You hinted at having a BFP at the end of the first segment. So yes, when I asked you if you did anything for Shanna when you were on your trip. So tell us. BFP or BFN?

Shanna

I have a BFP and it is from my trip. I knew that I wanted to do something like relaxing for myself, but when I got there and I looked at the spa menu, I was like, holy shit, those massages are expensive. I'll get my relaxation sitting on lounge chairs by the pool. yada, yada, yada. I was not planning to do anything like that, because I just kind of didn't want to spend all the money. But by the end of the trip, like after the elevator incident, the sick kid incident, just dealing with kids and constantly just like facing a pool and watching kids go down slides and just not doing much for myself, I was starting to think, hmm, maybe, maybe that's not such a bad idea. And then on one of the last nights of our trip, Laura, I accidentally Got shit-faced drunk in the club on free drinks.

Laura

So you had two and a half drinks?

Shanna

Oh, okay. I thought I was. One of the things they served there were these bottles of old fashions. And it was, I don't know, like seven ounces or something, these little bottles. And I just was not thinking at all. I grabbed one bottle like before we even ate anything. I was like, ooh, happy hour. And I like pour it in my cup and I'm drinking and drinking. And I was like, I'm gonna have another one. And I drank that whole one too, just not even thinking. In my mind, I'm having two drinks. The next thing I know, I get up to leave the club and I was like, oh my God, Steve. I cannot even think straight. And so I get up to the room and I lie down with one of the girls. He's helping them get ready for bed and I sit up after they're asleep and I'm just like, Oh, Steve, I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking wasted. And I'm like, how did this happen?

How did this happen?

Shanna

I'm like, I'm just out of my mind drunk. And he's so sweet. He's like helping me. I'm like, I need help getting ready for bed. And so embarrassing. The next morning I was like, oh my god, Steve, I was so drunk what happened. And he's like, oh, I did the math in those bottles. Like they're basically pure alcohol. So basically, like I did the math and you probably did the equivalent of about seven and a half shots of bourbon in like two hour span, you know, when we were at the club. And I was like, oh, dude, I didn't even think about that. Like I just thought I was having two little drinks. So I have not been that drunk. I don't know. Maybe since my 20s, I accidentally got shitfaced in Hawaii with my family. So I was a little hungover the next day. I felt so dumb. I was like, I'm so sorry, Steve. He's like, it's not a big deal. I was like, who cares? So anyway, that's not my BFP.

That's just like a lead up. So I was hungover the next day. And this is like the last full day of our trip. And by this time, CECE is just pretty much dysregulated with, you know, the lack of schedule and routine. I really wanted us to do a hula class. There was a hula class at the resort. And I'm like trying to drag these girls to do the hula class. And Steve's like, I don't want to do a hula class. I'm going to go take a shower. So I'm in charge of the two girls. And Cece is flopping on the floor. She's like, I don't want to do hula class. I'm like, come on. Like, at least let me and Al do it. Yeah. And so anyway, she's just having to melt down. We start hula class. She's like, I'm hungry. And I have to take her to get a snack. So anyway, I'm just like, at this point, I was like, fuck it. Sean is doing something for herself. That's it. Expensive massage be damned.

I'm just like, when Steve came back from a shower, I'm like, honey, you need to take the kids and I need, I need some time. Like, will you see if there's a massage available? And he found one and booked it for me and everything. And oh my God, Laura, it was just the most magical thing, like their spa area. is so relaxing and the outdoor lounge looks over the ocean and like I got massaged in a hut and it was just oh it was the best. It was just an amazing like hour of my life and I was so happy and relaxed afterwards.

Laura

Good you deserve it. Thank you. I have to say like I get why Steve is like I don't know why it's such you're making such a big deal out of it like it's fine but Parenting with a hangover like nightmare, absolute nightmare, awful. Like there's a reason I don't drink very much anymore because like there is no amount of delicious cocktail that is worth having to parent with a fucking hangover. Yeah. Just pain, pain. So yeah, wow, my heart goes out to you. But that sounds like a wonderful massage.

Shanna

Yeah, it was. It was great. And I was so relaxed. And then I reunited with my family. And I was like, ooh, I'm anxious again. But it was all good. It was all good.

Laura

Well, I'm glad you got to do something for yourself. And I'm glad you're back, because that means we get to hang out soon, hopefully. Yeah.

Shanna

Definitely. Anyway, all right, that's it for me. I think that's it for our show. Listeners, if you have any thoughts, comments, feedback on our episode, please reach out. Laura, where can everyone find us?

Laura

We're on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok at BFB Podcast. We have a website, bigfatpositivepodcast.com. If you want to send us an email, you can always throw a voice memo in there. We love those. Just send them to contact at bigfatpositivepodcast.com. And finally, if you want to join the coolest group of people on the internet, just search Facebook for Big Fat Positive Community. It's a private group, so you have to request a join and answer the two membership questions so we know you're not a robot. Once you do that, you'll be sent straight through to the amazing, wonderful, supportive, hilarious conversations we're having in there.

Shanna

Our show is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thanks for listening, everyone. Have a great week. Bye. Bye.

Hawaii With Young Kids: Vacation Highs and Lows – Ep. 271

September 11, 2023

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Hawaii With Young Kids: Vacation Highs and Lows – Ep. 271

September 11, 2023

Listen Now:

Show Notes:

Episode Gallery

This episode's sponsors:

Whisker Litter-Robot

Once Upon a Dance

Tags

Episode Transcript