Dad Takes Over Summer Break (Plus a Port-a-Potty Horror Story) – Ep. 269

Shanna

Welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. On this week's episode, we have our weekly check-ins, we have our special segment, Never Have I Ever, where we manage to get involved with bugs, bathrooms, and more, and we wrap it up with our weekly BFPs and BFNs. Let's get started. Hi everyone, welcome to episode 269. I was waiting for that, Laura.

Laura

Every time. Look, I get it every 100 episodes, okay? Like every two years I get to laugh like an eighth grader at you saying 69, so.

Shanna

And I'm not always the one that says it because I introduced the odd episodes. Exactly, exactly.

Laura

It's almost like I planned it from the beginning.

Shanna

I think so. It's the whole reason you even started a podcast because you knew you wanted to.

Laura

That'll be our spin-off podcast is just me laughing at you saying things that shouldn't be funny unless you're like still in eighth grade. Yeah.

Shanna

Oh my gosh. Alrighty. Well, let's put that aside and dig right in. You're up first and I want to know your check-in and what's going on.

Laura

Yes. So if you recall, last week was Augie's final week of preschool and we had the little graduation at the zoo and his last day and all that stuff, which means that this week he is off school. So he is officially on summer break now.

Shanna

Which you said last time is three whole weeks, which is a long time to have a child at home all the time. So what are you guys going to do with him? Or what did you do with him this week?

Laura

Well, I feel like in the typical division of domestic labor fashion, I was the only one who thought about this up until this point, right? Like, so about a month ago, I realized like, oh, shit, I probably need to figure out something for Augie to do while he's off. And to be fair, I probably should have thought about this in like January, but this is the first time this is happening to me, right? Like in previous years, basically the only year between school he's had, it was like a two week break with his school, right? And he wasn't old enough for camps or anything, so I didn't really Like it was just wasn't on my radar and about a month ago I was like oh shit Should I have like gotten him in some camps or something like this kid needs to do something other than just stay home and like watch TV or Play by himself, right?

Shanna

Right, and not alone alone. I mean... Not yet.

Laura

Not 100% alone. I mean without other peers around him. Gotcha. So I talked about it with Corey, and I was like, you know, Augie's going to be home for three weeks. Like, what should we do? And I had all these ideas. I was like, let's call up our old nanny and see if she's available. Let's, you know, try to find him some camps. Maybe there are some camps available last minute, you know, even if part day, blah, blah, blah. And then Corey brought up the point that like saving money is probably a good idea right now, like not having to spend money on childcare would be a big bonus over the next three weeks, especially because, you know, we're in the middle of this seemingly endless writer strike right now. And yeah, money is definitely an issue. So his suggestion was that he just take care of everything. He's like, I will do daddy camp. It'll be daddy camp for three weeks.

Shanna

Aw yeah true.

Laura

Well I don't know if it's one of those like the secret what you wish for gets manifested in the world things but the second day of daddy camp I got an email from this gig I was working on saying they had run out of budget and it was over.

Shanna

Basically, yeah. Oh my gosh.

Laura

Yeah. Which is like, ugh, that sucks because it was giving us a little bit of financial solvency. And, you know, I thought it was going to be like going on for at least a few months. So I had kind of started relaxing about like drumming up new work and all that stuff, right? And I was like, well, shit. Like, but it did allow me to turn daddy camp into daddy and mommy camp. I suddenly had no work on my plate, so.

Shanna

Well, I guess it's good that you didn't sign him up for camps that were costly.

Laura

Yeah, yeah. Well, to be fair, I did sign him up for one half day at this little gymnastics studio near us because I knew he'd need to do something to get like big energy out. But I mean, honestly, it's more like a three hour class than a camp, you know?

Shanna

Oh, true.

Laura

But yeah, so the upside is that we're saving money on childcare. I guess the, you know, challenge is that he has been home all week. And it's a lot.

Shanna

It's a lot. So have you been doing the outings, going to the museum and splash pad and all that?

Laura

I didn't get to go to the splash pad. I'm kind of sad about that, but I did get to like have a morning to myself because Corey took him to the splash pad. So nice. But I did, you know, we've been going to the library and we've just been going in. Honestly, I've been kind of just dragging him along on errands and setting him up on play dates and stuff. So yeah, that's what we're doing this week. We are in week one of mommy daddy camp.

Shanna

All right. Well, it sounds fun. It sounds like it also is taking a lot of coordination and time, but that's OK. Yep.

Laura

Yeah. But it's been fun. It's been fun. It's nice having some special time with him. It reminds me of when it was just us two and, you know, we got to go on adventures together. So yeah. Anywho, next week will be mommy, daddy camp for both of them. So I'm sure I will be reporting about all kinds of things going on there. OK. But for now, it's time to hear what you've been doing. Your kids are off school, too, right?

Shanna

Oh yes, they're still off school, but you know, I've got them in camps that I did organize back in like February because the competition for camps is so intense here in Los Angeles.

Laura

See, you know, this is because you know you have L who trained you. about this early. I am definitely going to be like that camp mom waiting for sign ups at midnight or whatever in January next year.

Shanna

Yes, you will. And if you don't remember, I will remind you because it will be on my radar. Step it up. Time to sign up for camps.

Laura

That's right. Elle's been in theater camp, right?

Shanna

Yep. She's in her second week of musical theater camp for Greece, and that's going great. She loves it. She has her little BFFs there, and it's all good. The complication with camp this week is that on Tuesday, Steve and I were both feeling sick, and we both tested positive for COVID.

Laura

I was going to pretend to be surprised but I know this already because you were like what the fuck is this bullshit and send me like a picture. I don't think you actually said those exact words but that was the sentiment. Oh, that was the sentiment.

Shanna

Yes. Yes. We caught it at Elle's basketball game this weekend on Sunday. I can, it's the only place we were inside with a crowd and Steve and I both got it at the exact same time. The kids were fine, but I felt so guilty sending them to camp. I think I even messaged you. I was like, what do I do? Like am I supposed to send them to camp? And you're like sending me stuff from the CDC and like the guidelines say you can extend them to camp with a mask, you know. So I'm like, okay. They need to go to camp. I don't want them to stay home and isolate just because they've been exposed. We're this far into the pandemic.

Laura

I just don't feel like we need to do that. I mean, you have to follow the guidelines. You do what they tell you to do when they say it's okay if you've been exposed to go into public with a mask. If that's the guidelines, that's the guidelines, right? You can't start second guessing all that anymore. It's just too complicated.

Shanna

It's way too complicated. So that's what I did with dugout masks. I think literally the other day I was like, ooh, I can put all these masks away because I was cleaning out the closet. I'm like, we haven't needed these forever. We don't need these. I put them up on a high shelf somewhere. And there I was three days later, like, where's my mask? Like pulling it back down. So I dug those out, put them on the kids, and surprisingly, they were excited to wear their masks to camp. Really? Yeah. Oh, man. I was worried. Both of them acted like it was the coolest accessory. I think they both like attention and, you know, anything like something different about them that's going to get them attention. I think they kind of like So yeah, I sent him to camp the rest of the week wearing masks while I just felt like shit and Steve felt like shit and we stayed home and parented with COVID all week.

Laura

Was it better than last time at least? Last time you had a really rough go.

Shanna

Oh, 100%. I mean, it was not fun. I had fever and body aches and chills for like a day, but overall it was so much better. I didn't rebound. I didn't isolate alone in my room. Mm-hmm. Yeah, since Steve had it too, you know, I didn't have to isolate off in the bedroom all by myself for however long and stuff. I will say, Elle was really scared when I told her that I had COVID because It was so upsetting for her last time, for me to isolate for so long and she didn't see me for like, I don't know, 12 days, right? Cause I was off the room and I think she was expecting that that was going to happen again. And I was like, no, no, no, like it's going to be okay. And, you know, I don't have to hide away and stuff like that. So it was much better.

Laura

Oh, that's good. Yeah. I do feel like... And it's so hard to talk about all this stuff because it's so politically charged and I don't want anyone to misinterpret me saying this to say that I don't believe in mitigation methods and I don't believe in masking and all that stuff. I do. I do. I totally believe in all that. But one thing that is not talked about a lot is the emotional and social aspect, the emotional and social costs of isolation, you know, like all these guidelines, you know, they used to say like, oh, just, just isolate for 10 days. And it's like, uh, just, you know what I mean? Like, do you understand when you have small children, like it's not a, or if you're breastfeeding or something, like that it's not just a just isolate. Oh, it's fine. Like those are, that's advice for like single people who don't have any caretaking tasks, you know, and even then single people,

Shanna

Yeah, yeah. So I'm glad for her that it was better this time too. But But rewind a little bit back to before we got COVID. The other thing I wanted to talk about this week is that Elle had her last softball tournament for her All Stars for the summer. And you recall, we had like a little kerfuffle in the middle of the season. She was reluctant to go. She wasn't feeling good about the team and worried about being punished. And we worked through that and everything. You know, at the time I was kind of like, I don't know, maybe we should just like, just like quit the team. I don't know. It crossed my mind, you know, but I was like, no, we're going to stick with it and show her that when you make a commitment, you make a commitment. So we stuck with it obviously in practice for a couple more weeks and we had our last tournament. And oh my god, these girls did amazing.

Laura

I love that. I love those moments where you actually get to see your kid like demonstrably learning something. It's like mind blowing, honestly, to see how they improve. That's so cool. I'm proud of her too. Yeah.

Shanna

Yeah. So. It ended up being a wonderful experience and we have a couple of week break before fall softball starts.

Laura

Okay, we are back and our special segment this week is Never Have I Ever where Shanna and I take that old college drinking game and we flip it on its head to talk about all the crazy things parenting has made us do that we never thought we'd do. But before we get started, you may be thinking, wow, Laura's voice sounds really weird since that last break. And there's a reason for that. Shanna, we had recorded a completely different segment for this episode. Yes. And when we got into the editing room, it just, it didn't work, huh? It just, it just wasn't doing it.

Shanna

Had to scrap it.

Laura

Yeah. We had to, we had to start fresh and we decided to record a new segment because we want to bring quality entertainment to y'all. Uh, however, in the meantime, I got a cold. So, um, this middle segment is going to be Scratchy McScratcherson on the mic. Um, but luckily I can rest my voice because Shanna gets to go first. So, Shanna, what's your first never have I ever?

Shanna

Never have I ever had to stop someone from putting their hand into a porta potty.

Laura

Ew, ew. I'm guessing that someone was Steve? No, just kidding. I make that joke every time, but it never fails.

Shanna

No, no, I would let Steve do whatever he wants to do. He wants to dig around in there, go for it, sir.

Laura

Oh, it's so gross. Okay. So gross. Which child? I'm going to guess the younger, because I feel like Elle may be old enough to know better by now.

Shanna

Oh my God, it's Elle. Elle. They were both involved, though. Okay. Okay. This is definitely one of those moments where I was like, What is happening? Why is this my life? It was it was wild. Okay. So, you know, we went to some softball tournaments this summer for Elle and her softball team. And that means a lot of people descend onto a softball field. And so they always put up extra restrooms around the fields. And those are porta-potties. And we went to this one softball tournament this summer in Laverne. And there was a port-a-potty at the back of the softball field that was very popular. Lots of people used it throughout the day. And we used it often throughout the weekend and started getting quite full. At the end of the weekend, we used it for the last time. It was quite full, quite disgusting. And I thought, oh, we're done. We don't have to use these full port-a-potty anymore.

Laura

You know, I really appreciate their dedication to following the rules. I'm also a rule follower. I can't imagine Augie doing this because he will barely step into porta-potties. Let alone look in there like I have to basically make him close his eyes in order to use a porta-potty. He hates it. But yeah, that's disgusting. There is no amount of like those hand washing stations that you pump with your foot outside of a port-a-potty that will clean that off if they had actually succeeded. I will say hats off for not creating two germaphobes raising them during COVID. They still will sacrifice their life for the sake of following a rule.

Shanna

Oh yeah, absolutely. The germaphobes, they are not. They could not care how dirty their hands are. They will just dig into a bag of Cheetos with dirty hands if they could. Anyways, so yes, that is my first never have I ever. What's yours?

Laura

Okay, mine is also cleaning related. Never have I ever cleaned my table with a decapitated sheep's head.

Shanna

I mean, I'm picturing a sheep animal, which is quite disturbing, but I'm assuming you're talking about a stuffed animal. So tell us more.

Laura

Not quite a stuffed animal. So no, this is not like a byproduct of my spinning. It's not like I had a sheep lying around. Oh my God, the animal rights activist. It's not a real sheep, but guys, it's a fake one. So what happened actually was, like a year ago, my old nanny, Eliza, was looking for stuff to do around the house while Sebastian slept. And at some point, I was like, sure, you know what I've been meaning to do? I've been meaning to take their old towels that have gotten like too rough and scratchy and like cut them into rags. And she's like, I can do it on it. Like she's very, you know, go get them with that sort of thing. If it's like craft adjacent, she was on it, right? So I pointed her to the ones that were scratchy.

Shanna

Yeah.

Laura

And I don't know what it is about some of this bamboo rayon fabric or whatever, but it got so rough we couldn't use it anymore and it was getting too small for the kids anyway. So she cut it up and I just envisioned that she would have like tossed the head part, right? Like cut up the rest of it into squares and somehow dispose of it. But no, imagine my surprise when I, there was, like the kids made some huge mess during dinner, you know, the other night. And I was just like, ah, shit, I gotta, you know, I gotta like really clean this up with some surface cleaner and like a real rag, not just a paper towel. And I go into like a rag drawer and I reach in and I come out holding a decapitated sheep's head.

Shanna

Absolutely, but I do think that you're onto something as far as a product here, like cute cleaning mitten rags in the shapes of animal faces, you know, to encourage kids to clean up.

Laura

Oh, million-dollar idea. Let's go to Shark Tank.

Shanna

We're always coming up with them.

Laura

Somehow we're not millionaires yet. What the hell?

Shanna

I know.

Laura

All right, so that was my first one. Do you have another one for us?

Shanna

Yes, I do. Never have I ever gotten emotional watching Cocoa Melon.

Laura

Wow.

Shanna

And by emotional, I don't mean irritated.

Laura

Oh, that's true. Fair, fair. Good clarification. All right.

Shanna

Because that's how I usually feel. I should have said gotten sentimental. Yes. So, yeah, usually Coco Melon is, oh, the CECE still likes it. Sometimes I think it's a comforting thing for her. And I'm just like, ah, fine, we'll watch Coco Melon. But I was in the living room with her when she was watching it, and there was a rockabye baby song. And the mama, JJ's mama, scoops up baby JJ during the rockabye baby song. And I was instantly hit with feelings of like the memory of scooping up my girls, you know, when they were babies. And I had this huge yearning to do it again. And I started feeling sadness that they're you know, growing up and getting older and the baby phase is gone and, ugh, like tears were coming to my eyes watching Coco melan.

Laura

Aw. But then you realize that, oh my god, this is the same melody with different lyrics over and over and over again and the anger started creeping in and you got over it.

Shanna

I think that's why they design it that way so that parents don't dare feel sentimental during the songs. It's like, we'll just whip them back into anger. Yes, what is it with that? It's just the same melody over and over and over. Oh my gosh.

Laura

I mean, cheap production value, basically. Have I told you that my mom is, like, obsessed with the parents on Coco Melon?

Shanna

No.

Laura

Like, every time it would come on, thank God my kids don't care about Coco Melon anymore. But, you know, for there's a while where Sebastian really wanted to watch it or it was something my mom, like, knew to Google, right? Like, knew to pull up on YouTube for the kids. And she's like, they just seem like the nicest parents. Don't they? They're so nice to their kids. I'm like, okay, mom.

Shanna

Okay, I feel like this is on par with me having a crush on Bluie's dad. Like, why are we personalizing these cartoon characters so much?

Laura

To be fair to my mom, you know, JJ's dad is human, so...

Shanna

True. He's not a canine.

Laura

Or humanoid, I should say. I mean, the animation on that isn't so clear. There's some Uncanny Valley shit going on there.

Shanna

Yeah.

Laura

Yeah. Well, I have a recommendation, which is just stop watching Cocoa Melon. It should help.

Shanna

Yeah. I know. I know. I give in so easily to my kids' wishes. I'm such a jellyfish mom.

Laura

Well, my next Never Have I Ever will make you feel better, I think probably about your media choices.

Shanna

Okay, tell me.

Laura

Never have I ever written night writer fan fiction.

Shanna

What?

Laura

I love this.

Shanna

All right, tell us more.

Laura

All right, so written is a loose interpretation. I should say invented night writer fan vision in that. OK, so I've talked about how Augie is obsessed with like soundtracks and scores, right? Yeah, we've talked about that. Have I talked about how, like, for some reason, the Orville is one of the things he wants to listen to because it. Yes, it came up on a mix, right? Anyway, at some point, Corey was sick of listening to the same things over and over. And he was like, oh, you know what I bet you'll like? Are like classic TV themes right and so he starts playing like all the stuff he loved when he was a kid so he's played the A team and airwolf and night rider to the kids okay and now this is turned into Augie and Sebastian.

Shanna

You didn't watch that when you were a kid?

Laura

It wasn't in my house. No, we watched like Transformers and we watched Pee Wee's Playhouse and stuff like that. Night Rider just didn't happen, right? I know the basics. I know there's David Hasselhoff and he's Michael, right? And he drives a sentient car named Kit. Kit, yes. Right. Okay. I got those basics. I don't know anything else. And so I am given the title of a track on the soundtrack and demanded Basically, at risk of death because, you know, our child will scream his head off if you don't do what he says to tell him what is happening. So I am just full on fabricating storylines from the 1982 original series Night Rider.

Shanna

I need an example. What's an example of a title and like, what do you come up with?

Laura

Okay, I'm gonna pull one up and I her hold on. I'm gonna send you a screenshot of my Spotify home screen. This is embarrassing.

Shanna

Okay, opening it up. Nightwriters first, truck tunes. Wow. Truck tunes still in heavy rotation over there, huh? Superheroes bedtime stories. Oh yeah, you've been kiddified.

Laura

I need to get them their own account. Anyway, okay, so after the main title, you get Las Vegas Country Rock slash safe slash busted play. But because I have like Apple CarPlay, the only thing that shows up is Las Vegas Country. So I think for that one, I talk about how Michael and Kit are, it's like a jaunty tune like kind of country Western. So it's like they're there in the Nevada desert, you know, just having a grand old time when they get caught by some bad guys. They're also short tracks. So, you know, then you move on.

Shanna

No time for a three act structure.

Laura

Also, I'm like trying to dodge traffic usually like on the way to like some activity. So I'm like, I gotta pay attention guys. There's one called not bad slash he dies. Which is like, okay, but it's very mysterious. So in that one, they are following some clues in a windy mountain road. They see a trail of oil that they're trying to track down to find out where the bad guy went. But when I said I've never have I ever written Night Rider fan fiction, I should say never have I ever written really half-assed Night Rider fan fiction, because yeah, they're not good.

Shanna

I don't know. You got to start somewhere with your ideas, right? I mean, this could lead to a whole entire new remake of the Knight Rider series, which I think there is. Isn't there a new reboot?

Laura

There was. There was. I know there was when I worked at NBC.com because I had to build the website. But that was over 10 years ago, so maybe they're doing it again.

Shanna

I think your kids just know that you're a writer at heart and you just need to flex that muscle. That's what they're doing or they're challenging you.

Laura

True, true, true. Okay. Do you have one more? Never have I ever?

Shanna

I do. Never have I ever driven dangerously with kids in the car.

Laura

Ooh, I'm guilty of that. Not on purpose, but I am guilty of that. What was your situation?

Shanna

So it all started with my buy nothing group. And someone posted that they were giving away a dollhouse. And I was like, oh, that looks cute. And it comes with furniture. It looked like it was in really good condition. So I threw my name in the hat. I was like, I'd love that for my girls. And I got chosen. And I was like, oh, cool. So I took the girls to go pick it up from the neighbor and the woman brings it out and is helped by her teenage son because the dollhouse is fucking enormous. It's like five feet tall. I did not gather that information from the post. It's like definitely taller than my kids, almost as tall as me because I'm only five three. And I was like, oh, wow.

Laura

A famously large car. Yeah.

Shanna

Yes, it's sticking out about four feet. The hatchback is open. And she's like, how far do you live? And I'm like, well, I guess not that far. I don't have to go on the freeway or anything. She's like, ah, you'll be fine. Just message me when you get home. I was like, OK, the kids are loving this. This is the adventure of their life. They're turning around, looking at it like, oh my gosh. And so I was like, okay. So I drove off hoping that it wouldn't fall out. I put Elle on dollhouse duty. I'm like, take a look back there every now and again, make sure like it's like still there and secure. She's like, I'm on it. And we drove home so slow, probably like five miles an hour because I was so paranoid about this thing. And we live probably like two two, three miles away. It wasn't like an actual neighbor. Traffic is like building up behind us. There was a very hilly part.

Laura

Yeah, I get that. I mean, the things we do for Buy Nothing group,

Shanna

Truly here. I'm gonna show you a picture.

Laura

Yeah, I need to see this to believe it. Oh my god, okay Yeah, there's like the whole second story of this dollhouse is sticking out the back second and third story. Yo, I didn't realize they were third story. Yes, okay The whole top half of this thing is sticking out your hatchback is like wide open I imagine in theory you should have had like a flag on the back of this thing

Shanna

Yeah, I should have had a flag. I was probably breaking the laws, ladies. Like, oh, do you have anything you can like tie the hatchback down with? I'm like, no, I don't have anything I can tie. He was not secured at all.

Laura

Well, I mean, the good news, though, is your girls were probably super stoked to have this dollhouse, right?

Shanna

Oh, for like 10 minutes.

Laura

Ah, you try, you try to do things that your kids are gonna like and you just, you never know. Like one of the things I got off by nothing I thought Augie was gonna freaking love, which was like a semi truck that he could put all of his hot wheels in. It was another one of those things where it was like five minutes and then he was sick of it. And now it's just one of those things where like he never plays with it. But I've mentioned a couple of times like maybe I'll get rid of it. And he'll be like, no, it's my favorite, you know.

Shanna

Oh yes, that's how we are with the doll house right now.

Laura

Okay, so when they're back at school, you need to pull what this lady did, which was disappear it in the middle of the day. They'll never notice.

Shanna

Take it, take it.

Laura

Yes, exactly.

Shanna

All right, so that's my last never have I ever. What's yours?

Laura

Okay, never have I ever tried to drown my child because I got afraid of a bug.

Shanna

Oh my gosh. Okay.

Laura

I did not intentionally try to drown my child and it was not a serious situation. Don't worry. But what happened was recently we went over to our friend's house. They live up in North Hollywood and they have a pool and they for years they've been like, oh, you guys should come and swim whenever you want. And we've never taken them up on it. But finally we decided to take them up on it. It was like a super hot day and we're like, screw it, we're going to drive North Hollywood and go in this pool. And it was lovely. Like they're two of our really good friends. They have these adorable little dogs that the boys were just having so much fun playing with. And we just had a great time in the pool. And while we were in the pool, I was holding Sebastian and all of a sudden a giant June bug comes flying by.

Shanna

OK, those are loud.

Laura

They're loud and they're really big, right? They're like an inch long. They're huge. And I'm not like afraid, afraid of them. Like, I know that they're not going to bite me. So I wasn't like too freaked out, but it's starting to dive bomb us like it's coming really close. So I'm starting to try to dodge it, right? And there's something about holding your baby while something like this is happening where like, I think some deep instinctual thing kicks in, right? Where you're just like, protect the child, right? So I am on this like heightened level of awareness of the Junebug, but I'm not freaking out. I'm just like, ah, just get it away from me. When the Junebug finally dive bombs us and decides to attach itself directly onto Sebastian's cheek. I mean, what? And it was like, it's like the size of his face.

Shanna

Right? That's terrifying. I freak out.

Laura

And again, I know Junebugs are safe. Like, I know they're not gonna bite, but I was just like, fucking giant beetle on my child, right? I was just like, ah!

Shanna

Sounds to me like you solved the problem.

Laura

Exactly. Thank you. And Sebastian, you know, about two minutes later calmed down and then he was like bug on my face. Bug on my face. I wish I thought was very cute.

Shanna

That's really cute.

Laura

But anyway, that was our dramatic weekend.

Shanna

For our BFPs and BFNs?

Laura

Yeah.

Shanna

I think we should.

Laura

OK.

Shanna

I have a BFP. Oh good. Yeah. As I was scrolling Instagram the other day, I came across a post that I found very helpful and I want to talk about it. I follow Of course, so many like mom and parenting accounts on Instagram that half the time I just kind of like scroll by them and stuff, but sometimes some of them will really catch my eye. And one of my favorite follows is Dr. Siggy. I don't know. Do you follow her? No. So her name is Dr. Siggy Cohen. She has a PhD in child development with a specialty in exceptionalities, which is children with disabilities. But she's been working with families of all kinds for over three decades. She's been a teacher. And now she's a child development specialist. I love following her on Instagram. I love watching her reels. She's just got a very calming voice. I feel like her advice is very grounded. It's very in line with the types of

Laura

Yeah, for sure. I feel like, you know, we're not quite there yet just because we have such a size and skill disparity between the two boys. Mm-hmm, you know I read in that peaceful parent happy siblings book like one thing you should try to do is like basically Not intervene unless someone's at risk of getting hurt like let them you know deal with their shit with each other You know however they need to deal with it But the problem with that with a two and a four-year-old is like sometimes I have to be the protector of the two-year-old you know or mm-hmm Actually, sometimes I have to be the protector of the four-year-old when the two-year-old's trying to bite because the two-year-old doesn't have like the control, the self-control to stop himself.

Shanna

Like absolutely, right? If they think that they are bad kids because they're doing a thing that's natural to all humans, then they might go forward feeling like scared to confront someone or scared to have conflict or scared to disagree with someone. Or you know what I mean? Like, but if I can give them tools to try to work through it instead of just like shaming them for fighting, maybe that will give them some skills that they can take with them later in life.

Laura

I don't know what it's like to be scared to confront someone. I mean, I just can't relate to that at all. You're just walking around confronting everybody. Everybody on the street. Oh my God. No. I mean, it's so funny because when you're like everybody fights, my first thought was like, I don't fight. And I, you know, like fight is a weird, like weird word, right? Like everyone has conflicts, but I don't know if that's like a good thing because my whole life I was taught not to, right? And I do not. not have great conflict resolution skills for myself, right? I will let people walk all over me to avoid having to actually call someone out half the time. Working on it, obviously I'm working on it, but yeah, I can see why, and I wasn't really allowed to fight with my brother. We were always told that we had to be BFFs, right? So yeah, it's interesting.

Shanna

Oh, interesting. Yeah, I feel like there can be a balance between the two ends of the spectrum. And that's just one more thing on my to-do list as a parent to do for my children to make them better humans.

Laura

Just add to the list.

Shanna

It's fine. The list isn't that long.

Laura

So my BFP was something I discovered and got very excited by on my last trip to Costco with the boys. Okay, let me paint the picture. So I dragged the whole family to Costco. Much to Corey's chagrin. He was like, he's always gay, you know, but we need to go to Costco. And he was like, should I just go? I'm like, no, let's go as a family. We're going to do it as a family. And so we get the boys into the double cards and we're going through and of course, Augie's just like wanting to go look at the, you know, there's often toys at Costco. There's not always toys, but he's wanting to go look at the toys and kind of be annoying. And then I gasp. And I'm like, the costumes are here. What? For Halloween already? Yeah, it's not even August, Shanna. But I was like, oh, my God, the costumes, the Halloween costumes are here.

Shanna

OK, I need to know all about this.

Laura

Do you remember that ninja costume that Augie's been wearing basically every day for the last year? I'm sure it's in pictures. That's a Costco costume. Okay. Okay. And we got that costume and it's, I mean, he loves that thing. It's got great like construction. Like it's a really well made costume. You know how you order Halloween costumes on Amazon or you get them from like the Halloween store? And they're like thin and the edges aren't even really finished and they start fraying. Terrible quality. Not these. These are like truly well made costumes. That ninja costume has been worn so much over the last year and it has like held up. It's got all these like details on it. It came with two daggers and a sword, right? Like it's like a real deal costume. OK. So we make a B line over and Corey's like, really, we're going to buy them costumes in July.

Shanna

So you're buying these for them to play with now. You're not going to put them in a closet until Halloween is what you're saying.

Laura

There is no way these children would have allowed for that. I mean, maybe if I bought them in secret. No, no. So I let them look through all the costumes and pick one each, which was very difficult for Augie. He wanted multiple ones. But we finally landed on a firefighter for Sebastian and a jet pilot for like top gun style for Augie. And I'm going to send you pictures of them. Okay, let's see.

Shanna

I really hope that jet pilot costume comes with aviator glasses.

Laura

I am sad to report there are no glasses, but there are accessories.

Shanna

Oh, that? Oh, I see. Like a combat fighter pilot. Yes. Yeah, top gun. Ah, gotcha. Aw, they're so cute. Those really do look like legit little costumes.

Laura

Yeah, like the firefighter, it has pants and a jacket, an axe, a whistle, and a hat. And the hat has like a little hook and a clip, like a carabiner that you can clip it to so it all stays together. This is the detail I'm talking about. The fighter pilot has a compass, a dog tag, which I was trying to explain to Augie what a dog tag was without mentioning combat deaths. It's an identification.

Shanna

Oh, I love that they love them so much. How fun. Are they affordable? Like what's the cost here? What are we talking? They're $30.

Laura

Oh, that's really good. Really good, especially for this quality. I mean, that's what I'm saying. But I think last year they were 25. So inflation is hit. But still, for the amount of play you get out of them, it's 100% worth it. And maybe they're cheaper in your area, I don't know.

Shanna

Okay. So these could be gender neutral, but I don't think my girls would go for them. So what kind of like girly costumes do they have? Because I just imagined just a bunch of princesses and then a bunch of like cool like stuff like this for boys.

Laura

So there were definitely some floofy skirts. I did not get a good look at all the quote unquote girl stuff because I'm going to send you a photo of like the interested looks my children had. Like we had to look at all the superheroes and stuff and they had like branded superheroes. There's a bunch of Spider-Man costumes. Spider-Man, yeah. But I don't think it was just Disney princesses or type thing. I think there was a variety. So I'll have to go back and double check and I will report back on that. But listeners, go to Costco and get a costume. You won't regret it. They're the best.

Shanna

It's amazing how early they start this Halloween hullabaloo these days. Oh my god, I know.

Laura

They also have these like nine-foot skeleton, like animated skeletons for your lawn. Yeah? Yeah, the boys were very confused by. But yes, it's July, Halloween and July.

Shanna

Oh, wow. Well, that's fun. And I'm glad they're getting good use out of those costumes. They are super adorable. Yeah, they're so cute. But anyway, that's it for me. And that's it for our show. Unless you have a five-star review to read.

Laura

Oh, you know what? I do. This one is from Ashley Futuristic on Apple Podcasts. Ashley says, I recommend this podcast to every parent I meet. It's the funnest way to learn about pregnancy and parenting through the host's hilarious banter, stories, and trivia. It's even better if you're not a parent yet. You'll be even better prepared to confront the highs and lows of parenting. Laura and Shanna are the friends you wish you had with their empathy, creativity, great sense of humor, intelligence, practicality, and open mind to different methods of parenting. As you follow along with their pregnancies and parenting journeys, you can't help but get excited to hear their updates week to week and to hear more about their wonderful kids. I'm so happy this podcast exists and only wish there were more episodes each week. Aw, Ashley.

Shanna

Ashley, that was wonderful. Thank you so much for saying so many nice things.

Laura

You know what? We keep hearing from these reviews that they want more episodes. So, uh, I think we got to work on that second podcast.

Shanna

Yes. I'm excited about it. I think we should do it.

Laura

All right.

Shanna

Uh, until then listeners, if you haven't had a chance yet to leave us a five star review, if you could please do us a favor and head on over to Apple podcasts, leave us those five stars, say a few things you love about the show, and it will definitely help new listeners want to take a chance on big step positive. We appreciate it so much, and we might read your review on an upcoming episode. If you have any thoughts, comments, feedback, or anything on this week's episode or anything else in the world, please reach out. We love hearing from you. Laura, where can everyone find us?

Laura

We are on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok at BFP Podcast. We have a website, BigBatPositivePodcast.com. If you want to send us an email, you can always throw a voice memo in there. Just send it to contact at BigBatPositivePodcast.com. And finally, if you want to join the coolest group of people on the internet, just search Facebook for Big Fat Positive Community. It's a private group, so you have to request to join and answer the two membership questions so we know you're not a robot. Once you do that, we'll send you straight through to all the really insightful, wonderful, thoughtful conversations we're having in there.

Shanna

Our show is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thanks so much for listening, everyone. Have a big, fat, positive week. Bye. Bye.