How We Met Our Husbands: A Valentine’s Throwback – Ep. 241
February 13, 2023
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In the special segment “Throwback,” Laura and Shanna celebrate Valentine’s Day by telling the stories of how they met their husbands. Also, Laura reports on an unexpectedly fun outing with her kids, and Shanna reports on a sudden rule change at her daughter’s preschool that threw her week into a tailspin. Finally, they share their BFPs and BFNs for the week. Shanna’s kids are 4 and 6 years old, and Laura’s kids are 4 years old and 23 months old.
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This episode’s show notes can be found here.
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Big Fat Positive: A Pregnancy and Parenting Journey is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko and Steve Yager.
Show Notes:
- The Little Dragon Shadow theater YouTube video from The Shadowmakers that Laura's son Auggie loves.
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Episode Transcript
Shanna
Hi, welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. On this week's episode, we have our weekly check-ins. We have our special segment, Throwback, where in honor of Valentine's Day, we tell the stories of how we met our husbands, and we wrap it up with our weekly BFPs and BFNs. Let's get started. Hi, everyone. Welcome to episode 241. Hey, Laura. Hi, Shanna. We've been doing this for a long time now. 241 episodes, baby. But nothing's changed. I want to know what's going on with you and your house and your family this week.
Laura
All right. Well, this week was the first full week of childcare I've had in over three weeks. Ooh, that sounds nice. Oh, I was so desperate for this. Like, I love my children. I love being around my children, but I was so tired of being around my children. I just needed a break, you know. And stuff was piling up. Like, there was not one big thing that I was needing to get to, but there were just like 100 little things that I kept being like, well, do that when they're in school. Do that when they're in school. And finally, I was just like, I just need one full week of childcare. And of course, I'm like, please don't get sick. Just just go to school this week, kids. Please. And I'm happy to report they did go to school all week. And I was able to like chip away at my to-do list, which is good.
I have to say though, it was not as satisfying as I was hoping it would be to have the full wing of childcare. Why is that? Well, it kind of almost felt like a hangover to me in a way. I was so wiped out and there was so much to do. It was overwhelming. So all I wanted to do was just lie down on the couch and have some quiet time. But I knew I had all this stuff to do.
Shanna
But lying down and taking a break is important too.
Laura
It is it is but when you know your kids are coming home from school at like three thirty and four and you know you have that limited amount of time it's it's so interesting how it like is this ticking clock in the back of your head that I never had before I had kids. You know, like before I remember the days of being a freelance web developer before I had kids where I like I had deadlines and I had stuff to do in my day. But it was never this thing of where you like just constantly have this awareness that it's going to be taken away from you at a specific point, you know, like, you know, I could always like work a little later or do some work after dinner or whatever. And like when you have Kids to take care of it's basically a hard out you know like you can sneak things in but like your kids or at least my kids Demand attention.
Oh, yeah And yeah, I it just it it was really clear this week that that was in the back of my mind Constantly it was always like oh no now I have three hours left. Oh no. I know I only have two hours left Oh no, like I only have 10 minutes before I have to go pick them up. Oh my God, what did I do with my day, you know? It goes so fast. It goes so fast. It really does. It really does. But I did want to report on one thing I did with the kids this week that was surprisingly fun. Oh, okay. What's that? Which is, I took them both to Costco on my own. Oh, well, they got those double wide shopping carts, so you should have been set, right? Well, I mean, that is so genius. I love those double wide shopping carts. Like, I don't know why all shopping carts are not that big, so you can have two kids in them.
So, yes, that is a big factor in how it was possible to even take them both to Costco on my own. The backstory is that Corey had a pitch. She had like a really important meeting at 4pm on like a Thursday. And I, you know, I knew I had to work around it, but that's like right during pickup, right? Because Augie gets out of school at 3.30 and then I usually just go pick up Sebastian at 4. Just so we stagger it a little bit. And he was like, I just got word that this pitch is going to be a four. They don't really give you a lot of options. Like, is that okay? I can't really move it. I'm like, it's fine. It's fine. I can handle having, you know, two children that I birthed from my own body for a few hours by myself. Like, it's fine. It's fine, right? But on top of that, I was like, we should probably be out of the house. We didn't have to be out of the house, but like, you know,
He's trying to sell a television show to like a network, and it's not as easy to do when you hear Augie downstairs being like, but I want to watch this, you know, or whatever. Yeah. And Sebastian going, boobatime, boobatime. And I'm like, no, it's not boobatime, boobatime. Oh, no. Yeah, super professional, super professional. Exactly. So I was like, you know what? I'm going to take them somewhere. And we needed stuff. We needed our staples from Costco. So I told Corey, I'm like, I think I'm going to take the kids to Costco. And he's like, by yourself. I was like, yeah. Yeah, it's fine. It'll be fine. And inside, I'm like, what if it's not going to be fine? Like, am I going to have to carry both of them kicking and screaming out of the store if I don't buy them a toy? And like all this stuff. So I was mentally preparing for the worst.
But honestly, having them both there actually in a weird way made it easier because they were kind of entertaining each other. Oh, fun. Well, that's good. Like the last time I took Sebastian by himself, he kept wanting to get out of the cart and it was kind of a nightmare. But like with both of them in the cart, they were just kind of playing with each other and happy to sit next to each other. It's like, you know, that thing they tell you like, oh, have a second kid. So they play with each other. And you're always like, OK, I don't know if that's really going to work out. I'm like, it worked out in this situation.
Shanna
Yay.
Laura
And I did have to bribe them with treats. Like I had to basically break open the chocolate muffins that we were buying from Costco and the strawberries because like one thing is you take hungry kids at 4pm to a store with food and buy all their favorite treats. And then you're like, no, no, no, we can't eat these right now. They're just sitting within sight. Like that wasn't going to fly.
Shanna
Oh yeah, my kids have eaten so many pouches and goldfish at Target.
Laura
Oh my god I used to be I think I even talked about on the show like I used to think that was awful and I would never do it and I'd wait till I you know went through the checkout now I'm just like yeah sure here kid. I'm gonna send you some pictures from our little Costco excursion. Okay here they come just a little sampling.
Shanna
All right, here they are, riding in that double wide together. Augie looks very happy, mouth wide open and excitement, oak munchin' on the goodies. Sebastian has a strawberry that's about as big as his head, which I guess is to be expected from Costco. Well, that's so fun.
Laura
Looks like it was a good time. It was a great time. And the last photo I sent you is the two of them having a little smoothie out of a sample cup. And this is significant because if you know anything about Augie, you know that he does not like trying new foods and he quote unquote does not like smoothies according to him. But he was super eager to try these samples. And he loved it. He like made me buy the smoothie or, you know, he was like, I want more of that. And I was like, OK, like let's load up because if you say you like something. So I was like, wow, is this like a sneaky way to get him to try new foods, you know, the Costco samples. So yeah. And we left without buying any toys.
Shanna
That is a win. Good success.
Laura
Yes. So yeah, I took two kids to Costco, lived to tell the tale, and it was actually like really fun.
Shanna
Don't you just love that this is your life now? You're like, oh, 15 years ago, what I have ever said, oh, I went to Costco with two kids alone and had fun. Here we are.
Laura
I don't know. I remember going to Costco with you and Steve when you were super pregnant with Elle. And you drove in one of those little like carts because you did not want to walk around. And I thought that was pretty damn fun.
Shanna
That was fun. What were we shopping for? We must have been shopping for something fun, a party or something.
Laura
Must have, yeah, yeah. I do not remember at all, but I do remember you in the motorized cart.
Shanna
Oh my gosh, I think we took videos of that. I'll have to dig them up.
Laura
Yeah, for sure. So anyway, that was my very exciting week. As you can tell, when the kids are back in school and I'm just working, there's not that much to report on, but that's probably for the best.
Shanna
Yeah, that's good.
Laura
But I want to hear about your week, Shanna, see how you've been doing and what's new in your world.
Shanna
All right. Well, Monday morning, I woke up and finally tested negative for COVID. So I'm out of isolation, out of quarantine. I've recovered from my rebound and was ready to get on with my life and tackle the week. So it all started very, very well for me.
Laura
What an ordeal that was, my goodness.
Shanna
Yes, it was. It was such an ordeal that I failed to notice a message that we got from CECE's preschool director on Friday. Just two days before, right? So like the last day of the holiday break, right before they're about to come back on Monday, she sent it at maybe like 5 p.m., very into the day, and was like, parents, new rule, no kids are allowed to skip nap. What? Period. Basically, like it was just like, Just very quick into the point. And I'm pretty sure I looked at it on Friday, but was in a COVID fog and was like, whatever, we'll deal with that later. Monday rolls around and it comes back to my mind that we got this message from her and I'm like, that really sucks. I had been working with teachers for months to try to get her to skip a nap or at least shorten it because their nap period is two hours long.
And when she sleeps even one hour, let alone two hours, her nighttime sleep is crap. I'm sure I've talked about it before on the show, but she goes to bed late. and she wakes up early. Like how late? I mean like nine o'clock, which is too much for me. Like my evenings are my evenings. You know how I am with sleep, Laura. Like that doesn't fly. You go to bed at nine o'clock, Shanna. Exactly! Like I need at least two hours to hang out with my husband, watch TV or whatever. If she doesn't stay up late, she wakes up early. Just a huge run of her waking up at 4.35 a.m. When she skips a nap, she sleeps great. And on Christmas break, we'd gotten her sleep back to excellent. And I did not want to fuck that up with this new nap rule.
Laura
How do you mandate nap is my question? Like, do you stand over a kid and say, nap, nap?
Shanna
That's what I'm envisioning. Teachers running around saying, close your eyes. Be quiet. I don't know. But I always got a weird vibe from the teachers when I asked to skip nap. It was never like no. So I was just kind of like, okay. But anyway, she was skipping nap, at least some of the time, right? And I was like, fine. So I'm like, this new thing doesn't work. Steve, can you message the director and see if there's an exception for us because we've been working with teachers. on this for a while. He's like, sure. So we messaged her and she was like, nope, there's no exception for her. I didn't even know teachers were doing that for her. And I'm just like, oh, great. So there's no exception to this rule. Totally narked on the teacher. Yeah, whoops. I mean, I didn't know. So that's just the beginning of me feeling bad. So I was like, look, I don't want her to be forced to nap.
You know, if this is a new thing, they're going to mandate it. I don't want anyone like telling her, close your eyes, go to sleep. I, of course, immediately texted you with my syndrome. I was like, what should I do? Laura, I need advice. Should I drop her down to half time? and pick her up at 12.30 before now? Should I look for a new preschool? I mean, I've kind of been getting some, I don't know, off vibes about the school for a while. Anyway, I don't know. So what did you tell me to do, Laura?
Laura
Well, first I was like, what mandated nap? That's not fair. And then I think what I said, I don't want to scroll back. I'm just going to go from memory is basically like, drop her down to halftime now so that your nights are not fucked because like, what's the difference between having her home for a couple hours versus like, you know, your pain is either going to be at noon or at, you know, eight o'clock at night, but better rather it be at noon. and then start looking for a new school for her. And I was like, I bet you'll find a place fast. And you were like, this is going to be a nightmare. Exactly.
Shanna
I was so full of anxiety. This is still Monday, right? I'm like, oh my gosh, no school is going to have availability for a kid right now. And I don't know, it just all felt unknown and like just this thing I didn't expect to be plopped into the middle of my week. It was a huge problem I suddenly had to solve. So I asked Steve if he would message the director and tell her that we want to drop down to halftime immediately in light of the new rule and we want to refund, you know, for whatever the difference between full and halftime is. So he worked that out. And I started looking for other preschools. I called one and they're like, no, we're full. And I was like, darn it. And then I remembered a preschool that I had toured last year. It was actually my second choice, right? I almost sent CECE there last year. I had an email thread with the admissions director going from last year.
And I just pinged her. Like I replied back to that email thread and was like, Hey, I'm wondering now if you have any openings because we're looking for a new spot. And by the end of the day, she wrote back. She was like, Yeah, yeah, we do actually have a spot in that classroom. And I was like, what? Okay. But do you require naps for four and five year olds? Because our new school does and that doesn't work for my family. And I waited and waited and she wrote back. She was like, Nope, our policy is once they turn three and a half, They don't have to nap anymore because we understand that that doesn't work for everybody. You know, they can if they want to and the parents want to, but you don't have to. And I was like, when can I come tour it? So like the next day we were touring this new preschool and a whole like just like a huge change was just in motion all of a sudden.
Laura
It's amazing how fast that sort of thing can happen. So you like this new preschool, not just because they didn't mandate a nap. It sounds like.
Shanna
Yeah, it's a wonderful little school. Like I said, we were already considering it the year before, so it felt good, right, on many levels. It felt like a known entity. The next obstacle was when are we going to start her in the new school? Because I was like, can she start immediately, like on Monday? And the director was like, yeah. Yup, that's totally fine. And I'm thinking we need to give like a 30 day notice to the old preschool, right? Like that's the contract we signed. And I just was like, fuck that. Like this new rule came out of nowhere. It is really disrupting our life as working parents. Yeah. Steve, can you please try to extricate her from this preschool, you know, without having to do this 30 day notice? I just, I don't know. I didn't want to do any of this negotiating with the director and Fair enough. Steve took the reins and he got right in there and he worked his magic.
Laura
And so what? Like, did she just finish the school and now she's about to go to a new one?
Shanna
So the director agreed that we could end the week. Her last day would be Friday. She figured out the partial refund and everything. And our plan was to have her say goodbye to everybody on Friday and just switch over to the new school Monday. And how does she feel about that? So we got home and I was like, okay, I gotta tell you her about the new plan. It's like, CECE, I have something to tell you. She's like, what? And I was like, you are going to start going to a new preschool on Monday. And she goes, oh.
Laura
And was so excited like really zero sadness about leaving this school zero Laura that's telling you know Yeah, I think it was I if I said that to Augie he would freak out You know what I mean like he he was missing his school all break. He was asking when school was gonna start again like He's always talking about his teachers and how much he loves them. And yeah, so, you know, I think... Well, Cece never talked that way about the school, right?
Shanna
Like, she never missed it. She never talked about the teacher. She was definitely not looking forward to going back after Christmas. So those were the kind of little things that were adding up behind the scenes anyway, so that this new rule just felt like a push over the edge that was kind of inevitable. But once I saw how excited she was about her new school, I started recording a voice memo. So we could hear some of her reaction. So do you want to hear it? Of course I do. OK, I just sent you the recording. All right, let's have a listen. I got to see your new class yesterday. And there's lots of really, really friendly looking kids in there. And they were painting and they were learning their letters.
That's adorable. Isn't that adorable? Yeah. And guess what? In the class, they have a class pet. It's a bearded dragon. That's funny. OK. Do you want to see a picture of a bearded dragon? Yeah. That's like that. And you got to have one in your new classroom in a little aquarium. Pretty interesting, huh?
Speaker 1
That looks so funny right there and there and there and there. A red one.
Shanna
What? A red one? I didn't know they come in different colors. So let's see. What else can I tell you about your new school? Oh, here's something else about your new school. No naps.
Speaker 1
I can't believe that! They don't have any naps! No naps, is that it? And the sea drone are so nice! And the kids are so cute! And the playground is so nice!
Shanna
Yeah, it's so nice and everyone is so cute and nice.
Speaker 1
Mama, um, I gotta love to talk.
Shanna
I know, I'm excited. You can talk as much as you want.
Laura
Oh my gosh, she is so excited. Mama, I have a lot to talk about.
Shanna
I love how she gasps in excitement and disbelief everything I tell her. She's like, oh, so my own lunch.
Laura
No. I can't wait to hear about it next week and see how it goes.
Shanna
Yeah. Yeah. I'm very excited for her to get going and see how she does. So I will definitely be reporting back. Awesome. All right.
Laura
Well, on that note, shall we take a break and come back with our special segment? I think so.
Okay, we are back and this special segment is in honor of Valentine's Day, which is happening the week this episode gets released. And it's a throwback segment that we have been talking about doing for a while and we were holding back for this special holiday week because it's a question that we've gotten over and over and over from our listeners. which is how did you meet your husbands? So we thought it would be a good time to do this throwback segment where we just tell everyone how we met our husbands. It's the origin story of our kids in a way because if we hadn't met them, we wouldn't have our kids and we wouldn't have the shows. Right. So, Shanna, we're going to get right to it. I really want to know. You know, I think, I know I've heard the story before, but honestly, I don't remember much of it. I have never known you without knowing Steve. That's right.
And we've known each other a long ass time. So that means you and Steve have been together a long ass time.
Shanna
So long.
Laura
Oh my gosh. So take us back and tell us how you met Steve Yager.
Shanna
All right, so Steve and I have been married about 12 years, I guess, and we were together quite a bit before that as well. But our history goes way beyond before we even started dating. He and I are both from Phoenix, Arizona. And we went to the same high school. He's a year younger than me. And we were acquaintances, friends, because we both did all the plays at school. We were in the vocal ensemble together. We were on the speech team together, you know, so we traveled to speech tournaments together. And we just like ran in the same circles. And I just always knew Steve Yager. Yeah, you wrote the theater nerd, right? I don't know if I would use the word nerd, Laura. I was more like the theater cool girl.
Laura
Yeah, yeah, those glasses and the bangs you had definitely just screamed cool.
Shanna
Oh, honey, I got rid of those in junior high. I had a strong vision for myself going into high school and I achieved it. Like my hair got grew out nice and straight. I got those contacts that kind of worked that I couldn't fully see out of. But, you know, I didn't have to have glasses. So I was all good.
Laura
All right. So Steve Yager knew you as the older cool girl in his theater circles.
Shanna
Yeah, I don't know. You know, honestly, I think he thought of me as kind of like sarcastic somewhat. You know like there were there were girls that really had their shit together and had poise and more mature and that was just not me I'm just a little bit more hyper a little bit more sarcastic, jokey than a lot of girls at that time. So I was not on his radar as like a point of romantic interest and neither was he for me, right? He was like, Steve Yager, the funny guy. He was like super funny and super friendly. He's kind of cute and that's just like, you know, Steve Yager. So we graduated high school. I went off to college. He went to college and then moved out to Los Angeles to pursue acting. And our paths didn't cross for a long time, the several years, and then a mutual friend brought us back into connection. He came out to see one of her music performances.
She was my best friend at the time I went to her performance and I was like, oh, Steve Yager. And we reconnected as friends then, and then we really, truly developed an actual friendship where we would, you know, I think AOL? Is that what people would do back then? AOL message?
Laura
Yeah, I mean, I remember a lot of AEM. What year was this approximately? This was about 2001, 2002. Yeah, AOL Instant Messenger was definitely a thing back then. Yeah.
Shanna
An email, probably. Email, yeah. We would write each other emails and stuff. What was your aimed username? Oh, I don't want to say. I can't say. Why? Was it scandalous?
No.
Shanna
It's not. I still use it sometimes, you know?
I'm not, I am not.
Laura
It's a classic.
Shanna
I'm not on AIM anymore, but sometimes if a site's like, oh, give us a random username or handle, sometimes I'll throw it in there. So I'm sure if you like searched it, you would find like weird, not weird. So I'm sure if you searched it, you would like come across, I don't know, things I've commented on YouTube videos 10 years ago or some crap.
Laura
A live journal, perhaps.
Shanna
Yes, exactly that kind of thing, exactly. So during this time Steve moved back to Phoenix for a little while and I was living in Tempe finishing out school at ASU and you know we got to spend more time together as friends and still was just a friendly situation like he was just my fun buddy anytime I'd have a party I'd be like we gotta invite Steve because he's really fun and personable and outgoing and everything. Cut to 2002, Steve was back living in LA. We were still friendly. Out of the blue, he messages me and was like, my family is going up to their family cabin in Sea Ranch for a vacation this summer. And I had invited my buddy Greg to come along for the adventure and stuff, but he can't come. And I'm wondering if you would like to come. And I was like, oh, that sounds fun. Like I had heard about Sea Ranch, the Sea Ranch cabin in Steve's family for years.
vacation there since he was a kid. I heard all about it. It's right on the coast of Northern California, which is absolutely gorgeous. And I was like, yeah, sure, I'll do that. So I flew out to Oakland. He picked me up. We drove up to his cabin and met his family there. And that week completely changed my life. Hmm. I was intoxicated by the Northern California coast. First of all, like it worked. It's magic on me. It is rocky coasts with waves splashing on one side. The cabin is fucking has like an ocean view and there's like fields of waving grass, and then right on the other side of the PCH are big redwood forests. I mean, it is unbelievable. So I was like, wow, I just had stars in my eyes.
Laura
Couldn't be more different than Phoenix, Arizona.
Shanna
Truly, it really couldn't. And I had a fun time, you know, spending so much time with Steve. Also, they put us in the same room, right? It's like a three bedroom cabin. I'm like, Steve and Shanna are friends. They can sleep up in that room. So there was the that factor. So, you know, late at night, we'd be talking and I don't know, just silly stuff. Let's play the A to Z game. I'll think of something in a movie that starts with A and you be, it was like young stuff. I was like 22 at the time, right? But as the days were on, what really struck me was how sweet and kind he was to his family. Like he loves his family. Like he was so just, I don't know, considerate and generous and loving towards his parents who were there, his sister was there. And I, it just warmed my heart to no end. I was like, wow, he is a seriously good person.
And one night, he and I decided to go off without the family and go into town and have a beer at a little bar. And we were sitting there drinking and talking, and it was just so easy. And on the drive home, back to the cabin, I actually had the thought in my head, I'm falling in love with Steve. I'm falling in love with Steve.
Laura
This is straight up like from a movie. You guys are in this like beautiful scenic area in a cabin like falling in love with each other's personalities like come on.
Shanna
I know it's a horror movie. Truly and we ended the vacation. I said goodbye to him at the airport. So I was flying back to Arizona and he was driving back down to LA and I was crying on the airplane. I was like, I don't want to leave him. Like I just really like him and I'm sad and. I got back and we never acknowledged this shift in our friendship really but he was like why don't you move out to LA like you want to do acting stuff you know you know you want to get out of Arizona come just come like stay at my apartment for a while to get your feet on the ground. And I was like, okay, so I quit my job and three weeks later I drove out to LA, moved in with Steve and once again we were sharing a bedroom and within about two weeks we officially decided to become a couple and the rest is history. And now your children? And you are Yager.
Laura
Yes, we are the Yagers. It's so interesting to think back to you knowing him in high school and if you could tell high school Shanna like, oh, one day your last name is going to be Yager. Our listeners know you as Shanna Micko because that's your professional name. But you're a Yager and your kids are Yagers. It's just so wild.
Shanna
Oh my gosh. kid in high school, I would have never, ever imagined that I would have these two little girls with him and that would be my life. Yeah, it's so wild. One thing I love about our relationship though is that we have such a long shared history. I think it's cool to be able to talk about our crazy drama teacher from sophomore year and The shows, like we have video, VHS video of our choir concerts, and there's Steve, and there's me, you know? It's fun. I love that.
Laura
Have you shown that to Elle or anything?
Shanna
Yeah, they're not super into it. They don't care. I do not care. When they get older, hopefully they'll be into it. That's so funny.
Laura
Well, I agree with you. Steve really is just like a super nice, good person. You know what I mean? So I can see how that would have happened very easily. And he is a wonderful family man. Yes, yes. He's amazing. I think you did good. You picked the right one.
Shanna
Yeah, thank you. I think so too. All right, but I think it's your turn. And I want to hear the story of how you met Corey.
Laura
Okay, so my story is a little different. Mine goes back to 2006, when I can tell you what I think was the first time I laid eyes on Corey of it. It was actually in the presence of my then boyfriend. Oh, scandalous. Yes, who shall not be named? Mostly because I have very little good to say about him. And I don't want it. I don't want this to be a dragging the X segment. It's a talking about the rest of my life segment. So okay, it's 2006. I have just graduated from USC, our master's in professional writing program. That's where you and I met. And so I was, I don't know, trying to find my footing in this world, no longer being a student. And I had been with my then boyfriend for like six years or something. We got together at the end of my freshman year of college and had done like long distance and all this stuff.
And at this point we were living together in Echo Park and he was not a good person.
Shanna
I can attest.
Laura
Shanna can attest. Shanna knew him fairly well, was forced to hang out with him more than she probably ever wanted to. And thank goodness you, you know, stuck it out and stayed friends with me because like, oh, he was unpleasant. But anyway, I was still figuring that out. But one of the things that my ex-boyfriend really liked to do was play Texas Hold'em poker. And if you remember 2006, this was like, The thing right now right okay the world series of poker was on like all these channels I think it was like on one of the main networks even like the finals it was like a big trend kind of like pickleball is now.
Okay. Pick balls or things. So in 2006, that was Texas Hold on Poker. So everyone was playing it. And I had this friend from Fresno where I grew up, Brian, who started hosting a poker night in his apartment in the Park Liberia apartment complex in Los Angeles. And he invited us to his poker night and my ex was a curmudgeon who never wanted to do anything but since it was poker night he agreed to go to a thing so we are three pds and went and there are a whole bunch of people there big poker table full of people i think there were even two tables going. And Cory happened to be one of those people at the poker night. And I do remember as we were playing poker, because if you go to a poker night, you actually end up sitting and talking to these people for a long time. You're there for hours. And it's not like you're staring at your cards being stoic the whole time. You're chatting, right?
So you actually get to know these people pretty well. And I have this very distinct memory of labeling Cory in my head, that cute writer guy. Okay. Very clearly. And feeling a little guilty about it, right? Because I was sitting right next to my ex, my then-boyfriend.
Shanna
Right.
Laura
But anyway, so that's 2006. The poker game eventually breaks up. And we, you know, we went a couple times and that's it. Fast forward to the following year in the summer, August of 2007, I discover my ex-boyfriend has been cheating on me. Yes. That's a whole other story for another time. But the good news is that I took that as a sign to kick him out and never talk to him again, basically, which I did. Yes. Yes. I cut ties. It was great. Best decision I ever made up to that point. So suddenly I was single and living the life in Los Angeles. And I got a job at NBC.com, the network, the television network's website. building their websites, right? And one exciting part of that job was that I worked on the Universal Studios lot every day. So it was like just a normal office building, but it was inside the gates of the studio.
So every day I got to go to the studio and you see like trams full of like tourists doing the studio tour go by sometimes when you were like off getting your lunches, you could like walk around the back lot. It's super fun place to work, you know, when you're not actually at your desk. Totally normal job. So I'm there for a couple months when the writer's strike happens. This was 2007, like very late 2007, and the Writers Guild of America went on strike. And it was a really, really big deal. And what that meant was that every day, there were picketers, the people from the Writers Guild were picketing. protesting outside of all the studios in town trying to, you know, get their demands met. And as I mentioned, I went to school for writing. I wanted to be a writer and I had to cross this picket line every day to go to work. And it was killing me because obviously I wasn't being a scab.
I was going into like do web development. It was unrelated to the strike. But I like, these were people I wanted to like be a part of, right? I like wanted to be a writer and I was having to like drive through them every day. I felt terrible. So I was like, I'm going to bring in donuts to show my support for the writers one of these days. Like I'm going to, I'm going to do it, right? Oh, that's nice. And I was going to do it on Monday, but then I slept in. And then I was going to do it on Tuesday, but then I slept it again. And then this kept happening. And finally, I was like, Laura, you have to suck it up and wake up an extra hour early and get these freaking donuts, right? I was like, OK, so I finally sucked it up and did it, right? I got up an hour early. I went to the donut shop around the corner.
I bought all these donuts, like three dozen donuts to bring into the protesters, to the picketers. So I go into work and as I'm pulling in, I have to like pull through the picketers before I can like park and come back out to give them the donuts. And I like look and I'm looking at all the people marching by and I'm like, wait a second, I recognize that guy. And I was like, is that Corey? First of all, the fact that I remembered his name was a sign because I am very bad with names. Okay. And it'd been like over a year since I had met him. And I was still when I was like, huh, that's Corey. I think that was that writer from Brian's poker game. So I go park and I bring the Donuts out and Corey is like, Laura, right? I was like, Corey, right? Oh, he remembered your name too. Ooh, la la. He did remember my name.
So I picked up one of the picketer's signs and we picketed together while eating donuts for like an hour before I had to go into work. And we kind of caught up and I heard what he had been up to and hear what I had been up to and then we parted ways. One interesting and important piece of information he learned during this picketing meet cute was he did strategically ask me about my boyfriend and whether he was still around and I got to inform him that that was no longer a thing and he must have registered that in his file, right?
What about him? Was he in a relationship? He was not in a relationship, no. So I got back to my desk and a couple hours later, I saw a friend request on MySpace. No, this is the days of MySpace? This is the days of MySpace 2007.
Wow from a certain Corey. Of course I accepted and I start like Google chatting with I think you and Jen like immediately and I was like, oh my gosh, I ran into that cute writer guy that I had met at the poker game and we pick it and now we're my space friends and like. I don't know, he asked me about my ex-boyfriend and I told him that I didn't have a boyfriend and I'm feeling good things about it. And Jen and you are just like all over it. Yeah. Six months later. Oh my God. What? I get my space message from Corey.
Hey, what are you up to? How have you been? That eventually turned into him asking me out on a date.
Shanna
Why did he wait so long?
Laura
This was a mystery. This was a mystery for so long. Okay, so like, I know you and Jen and our friend Amanda especially were like obsessed with trying to figure out like, why? Like, why did he all of a sudden out of the blue message you? And Amanda had this thing. She's like, oh, you know, on sex in the city, the thing about like the taxi lights where like men will suddenly be ready for a relationship. So it's like they put their taxi light on. They're ready to be like hailed like a cab. She's like, his taxi light must have just been on. And I'm like, I don't know. Anyway, about like a year into our relationship, I finally got up the courage to ask him like, so what was it? Like, did I change my profile picture or like, what made you think of me? First of all, he was like, oh, I don't, I don't even know. You know, like he had not put any thought into it. Oh my God.
And then he was like, well, you know, I guess it's probably because the right after we met, the strike ended. And then we had to complete the entire season of the TV show I was writing in half the time. Right. And May is when we would have been done. So I probably was just done with the season and that's why I messaged you.
Shanna
That makes sense. Yeah. Super busy. And then he wasn't.
Laura
Yeah. But of course, like all of my girlfriends had spent like a year, like trying to triangulate it. Like, like, they're a beautiful mind. You know, we had like it all in the world. Well, maybe it was the combination of your beautiful profile picture and that status update you had and blah. I was like, no, no, he's much simpler than that. Truly. So yeah, so he asked me on a date and then we went on another date and it was a very like traditional dating setup at that point, you know, like we would go on dates and then we became like official after who knows. I don't even remember anymore because it's so long, but you know, I remember agonizing over like when is it official and having to ask him at some point.
Now that we're married and have two kids, it seems so silly, but I remember agonizing over every little thing, not knowing how a healthy, normal relationship works, because my previous relationship had been so effed up.
Shanna
Right. This was the complete opposite of that.
Laura
Yeah. It was totally healthy and normal. Of course, that freaked me out. I'm happy to say that it all worked out, and if I had actually gotten my act together and gotten those donuts to the picketers on time, I don't know if I would be here today with these two kids in this life. True. Do you know if that was the only day he was picketing? Well, the thing is they would get a schedule that they'd be assigned to certain studios on certain days. So, yeah, I mean, he did end up back at Universal another time, but it was, you know, like weeks later, like they had like a whole rotating schedule and he wasn't usually at Universal because he lived in Santa Monica, so they tried to keep him at Fox and all this stuff.
Shanna
Interesting. Oh my gosh, procrastination pays off.
Laura
Yay. Yeah, procrastination leads to marriage and babies, apparently.
Yes.
Laura
But yeah, that's how I met Korea, technically at a poker game, but we like to say we met on the picket line.
Shanna
Oh, I love that. How did he know your friend, Brian? Why was he at the poker game?
Laura
Oh, this is a piece of information I totally glossed over. So Corey is also from Fresno? Oh, right. He doesn't like claiming it. He moved around a lot, but he spent like fifth through twelfth grades in Fresno. We did not know each other. I mean, I think Brian was like our only mutual friend. We kind of have figured out that maybe we know some other people in common, but we didn't actually have that much crossover. He was in the adjacent city school district and our high schools were rival high schools. We just didn't know each other. He also was a senior when I was a freshman, so we just wouldn't have known each other. But I will say, like you said, having that shared history, like we don't have choir concerts we performed in together, but there are things that like we have in common that we have a shorthand for or like, for example, we were talking about when the
prequel movie of like Star Wars came out, The Phantom Menace. And I was telling him like, oh, you know, I went with my high school boyfriend to the Edwards Theater and he was like, oh yeah, I was, I was working at that Edwards Theater at that time. Like, and I was like, oh, maybe I bought popcorn from you, you know, who knows. Yeah. Oh, that's so funny. Yeah. But yeah, I'm so glad I brought those donuts in and now here we are. And you have two beautiful boys to show for it, who both love to eat donuts. So I mean, it's all perfect. That's true. That is true. And we did have those donuts at our wedding. Like I specifically made sure that we picked up donuts from that spot for a wedding.
Shanna
Oh, that's so awesome. I love it.
Laura
So yeah, happy Valentine's Day, everyone.
Shanna
Yes. All right. I think it's time for us to take a break and move on to our BFPs and BFNs. OK.
We're back and we wrap up every episode with our weekly big fat positives or big fat negatives. Laura, it's your turn. You have a BFP or a BFN? I have a BFP. All right.
Laura
Mine is actually this YouTube video that Augie is obsessed with right now. Okay. It's called The Little Dragon and it was produced, I guess, according to the description, like as a commission from the Bose Corporation in 2006. Okay. Which is, I don't know, very weird and random. But what it is.
Shanna
The company that makes headphones?
Laura
Yeah, yeah. Okay. But I found it because someone in my alumni mom's Facebook group for my college posted that their kid loved it and they wish they could find more videos like it I was like I will give it a try and what it is is like a shadow puppet theater. Um, production where this storyteller with this like beautiful amazing voice, J. O'Callaghan, tells this story with like a live band and then like a screen with shadow puppets of a little dragon that has no fire, like does not breathe fire and a little girl who, um, connects with the dragon and they go on a quest, right? It's 16 minutes long, so it's like perfect for kid attention span. But it's like, it's so pure, you know, like we spend a lot of time watching Blippi and Blaze and the Monster Machines and like whatever is on Disney Plus at the moment, you know, all these like frantic, saturated, really like busy things, right?
Like just so much like that's a good word for it. And I don't have like judgment about it. Like it's fine. Obviously I play it for my kids and they like it. But this here, I'm going to send it to you and you can just watch the very beginning of it so you can get a feel. OK, so I'm sending you the link. I'll be sure to put it in the show notes. It's from a YouTube account called the shadow makers. And unfortunately, they don't really have any other full length videos because it would be amazing if they did. But we'll play a clip too so people can get a sense of it.
Shanna
OK. Oh, this is like being filmed at an actual theater. There's people here. Here goes the band playing live music. I always love live music. Love it. Oh, and there's someone actually operating the shadow puppets.
Speaker 2
Once long ago, a little girl named Elizabeth was waiting at the edge of a forest. She was waiting for a famous storyteller, Michelle Flute.
Shanna
OK, so there are a lot of children in the audience of this theater. The storyteller is an older gentleman who is narrating in front of a microphone. And then the shadow images are going on next to him. These kids are wrapped. They are very into this. And it all seems very sweet and wholesome.
Laura
Yeah, wholesome is a great way to put it. Like it really taps into the like theater dirt part of me, you know, like this purity of theater, like live storytelling, live music, a live shadow puppet show going on, you know, that can't be replicated. And like you said, the kids are very into it, or at least in the editing that they did, the kids seem very into it. But I can tell you, Augie is like that. he just like would stare at it and was completely engrossed the whole time. And the only downside is that there's not like, I truly cannot find anything else like it. And I really hope one of our listeners is like, here you go. We've watched some like, there's like a a theater called like the Verba theater, I think that does shadow shows, but it's more like dance. Like it's people dancing and kind of contorting themselves into shapes for the shadow show. It's different.
This this reminds me of like the Indonesian style shadow puppet theater. If you've ever like seen seen that this is obviously very westernized. But I don't think it's trying to appropriate it. But it's like that style, it's puppets in front of a projected light, you know, right. So yeah, I don't know. I just love it. And it's so sweet. And he keeps asking to watch it. We've watched it like every day. Oh, really? Yeah. And I'm just happy to have something that's soothing to watch.
Shanna
Oh my gosh, I hope I can get my girls to watch this. I feel like I've ruined them and their brains with like the iPad games I let them play and the content they watch, it all feels very, like you said, busy and frantic and very like so much input coming into their brains at once. Like, will they tolerate slowing down and watching something like this?
Laura
I don't know. Augie's the same though. I mean, Augie spends all of his free time, I mean not all of it, but so much of his free time just staring at screens showing fast cut cartoons that are brightly colored and loud noises and stuff, and he was into it. So it's worth a try.
Shanna
I'm going to try for sure. It's really sweet. I like it.
Laura
So yeah, so that's my BFB.
Shanna
Awesome.
Laura
How about you? What do you have for us, a BFB or a BFN?
Shanna
I have a BFP.
Laura
Oh, yay.
Shanna
Yeah. My BFP is basketball.
Laura
Shooting some hoops.
Shanna
What's going on? Yeah. So Elle's softball season ended. And around that time, her coach was like, hey, I signed my daughter up for basketball at this rec center nearby. And you guys should join. Like, have Elle come play, you know, in between the softball seasons. And I was kind of like, OK, sure, sure, sure. in my mind, like, I don't know, there's a lot going on, maybe. But he like brought it up again. He was like, Hey, we're like, you know, the sign updates about to end. And I'm putting together an all girls team because at this rec center, it's usually boys and girls. It's just like through the city of Los Angeles. And he's like, but I, you know, I want to put together a team of all girls and I'm going to coach and This other friend of ours is the assistant coach and I think it'll be fun. So I was like, all right, I'll ask Elle. And I was like, hey, Elle, do you wanna play basketball?
Having no idea what she would say. And she was like, yes. And I was like, oh. Okay. So I signed her up. It's like the rookie league, right? It's like for five and six year old kids. We had to miss the first two practices because I had COVID. So she came in late, but she went to her first practice finally this week. And this kid came home more jazzed and happy and excited than I've seen her in a while. She was like, I love basketball. When is my next practice? And I mean, I'm sad to say she never showed that level of enthusiasm for softball, which is like my baby, right? I'm like, oh, you really love basketball?
OK.
Shanna
I also got to go to her first game this weekend. It's just, it's amazing. These kids, like 80% of them don't know what is going on. It's so cute. Like one kid shot and like it just landed straight on another kid's head. Cause they were looking and you know, they're trying to shoot. Oh my God. It's so funny and cute. And she loves it. I know why she loves it. She's an intense kid. It's the perfect level of intense energy for her.
Laura
Yeah. The running.
Shanna
So much running. Yeah.
Laura
Um, unfortunately softball does involve a lot of like standing around and waiting, right?
Shanna
Yeah. Standing around in your own position out on the field, like without anyone around, like she likes the time, right? When she's with her friends, but the social time. Yeah.
Laura
Yeah. Basketball is much more of a contact sport, much more social and, oh my God, the running. It's just nonstop running.
Shanna
Yeah, yeah. Believe it or not, Laura, I played basketball in high school my freshman year.
Laura
Well, you're so tall, you know. I know. I don't know how you could have gotten away with not playing basketball.
Shanna
It was it was destined at my five foot two and a half stature that I play basketball.
Laura
When you need to add the halves in, you know, you know, there's a problem.
Shanna
Oh, my God, I've been adding the half of four. years, for years. Sometimes I bump it up to three quarters, you know. Look at you. I know. Your posture is on point that day. Exactly. If I'm feeling very tall and very straight. So I get it. I loved playing to the running. I just remember the feeling of my lungs like burning because of all the intense cardio. Like, whoa, this is a feeling I've never had before. But it is, it's really fun. So I'm excited for her that she loves it so much.
Laura
So how long is this league gonna last?
Shanna
It lasts like three months, so softball and basketball are going to overlap for probably about a month.
Laura
Oh, cool. All right. Well, busy, busy, but sounds like fun. Did she sleep better after her basketball practice?
Shanna
I thought for sure she would. No, Laura, it jazzed her up. She gets so jazzed with practices from like five to six. She gets energized like she was just talking my ear off when I was putting her to bed. She would not settle. She fell asleep so late that day. She just loves it so much. Well, good for her. Yeah, it makes me happy. But yeah, so that's it for me. And I think that's it for our show. Do we have a five star review to read?
Laura
You know we do okay this This review is from someone who goes by big Al and the thighs which is like my favorite username ever now It's titled a motherhood must five stars I started listening to the show when I found out I was pregnant in December of 2021. I followed along week by week with Shanna and Laura's pregnancy and found so much comfort in the show. I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl in August of 2022 and have gained so much knowledge from the podcast and love knowing I'm not alone in this motherhood journey. Four months sleep regression happening over here. Thank you Shanna and Laura for being vulnerable and for sharing your motherhood journeys. Well, thank you big Al.
Shanna
Yes, thank you, and sorry you're in the thick of the four-month sleep regression, but it will pass. It will pass.
Laura
It will pass. It will pass. That shit is the worst though.
Shanna
Oh, yes, been there, done that. Listeners, if you haven't had a chance to leave us a five-star review yet, it's not too late. Please do us a favor, head on over to Apple Podcast and drop us five stars and say a few things that you love about the show. It's so, so helpful for us to reach new audience members and really just expand our BFP family. So thank you for doing that. And if you do it, we might read it on an upcoming episode. And if you have any interesting stories about how you met your partner, you'd know we would love to hear them. Laura, where can everyone reach us?
Laura
We are on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok at BFP podcast. We have a website, BigBatPositivePodcast.com. If you want to send us an email, you can always throw a voice memo in there. We would love to hear a voice memo about how you met your partner. Just send it to contact at BigBatPositivePodcast.com. Finally, if you want to join the coolest group of people on the internet, just search Facebook for Big Fat Positive Community. It's a private group, so you just have to request a join, answer the two membership questions so we know you're not a robot, and then you'll get sent straight through to all the wonderful conversations we're having in there.
Shanna
Our show is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thanks for listening, everyone. Have a great day. Bye. Bye.