Mom Hacks for Meltdowns, Marker Stains and More – Ep. 219

Shanna

Hi, welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. On this week's episode, we have our weekly check-ins. We have our special segment, What The Hack, where we share our parenting tips for helping kids brush their teeth, calm down from tantrums, learn your phone number, and more. And we wrap it up with our weekly BFPs and BFNs. Let's get started.

Laura

Well, let me start with my great-great-grandmother. No, OK. It's going to be a long check-in, everyone. seven hours later. She was born. No, okay. So, yeah, August three and a half and Sebastian is 18 months as I like, you know, as an afterthought mentioned in the last episode.

Shanna

That's right.

Laura

Yeah. Let me start with Sebastian. He, okay. So do you remember how in the big topic when we talked about post pandemic hangover parenting stuff, I think we touched on how we like wanted to like do more like active stuff with our kids, right? Like that we've kind of stopped doing that. Okay, so I decided like Augie's back at school this week and Sebastian is home with me. We have our nanny Eliza coming in the mornings, but in the afternoons it's just me and I was like, okay, I'm gonna like do active activities with this child. I'm not just going to like set him loose in the playroom and let him do his thing. So I had seen on Instagram this activity, which is like you take a cardboard box and poke little holes in it. Like you draw something on it. In my case, I drew a bulldozer and then you like poke holes around the lines, right? Sort of like a connect the dots drawing.

Shanna

Okay. Mm-hmm.

Laura

So I did this. It took like, I don't know, 10 minutes to set up because I had to like find the tape or to like put the box back together because of course it had been flattened and I had to like draw the thing and poke the holes blah blah. Do you want to guess how it went?

Shanna

He loved it. He was so focused and into it and he played with it for two hours. I wish, no.

Laura

He was like, what is this? And he tried to do it a couple of times. Like he would get the spaghetti, but he thought he was like supposed to poke new holes with the spaghetti. I think the problem was that he saw me poking the holes with like the screwdriver. And so he was like, that's what we do. So he's just like breaking the spaghetti, the like dried spaghetti is breaking into little bits and getting everywhere. And then he just started eating the dry spaghetti.

Shanna

So he had to have ended up eating that spaghetti 100%.

Laura

And then I'm going to send you a photo of him. He tried to share the spaghetti. I'll show you with whom.

Shanna

Oh, how sweet. He's trying to give the spaghetti to Cal. You're cat. Yes. Yes. Cal, my cat. Who does not seem interested.

Laura

Oh, you know, he in his cat way was interested. You know, he put himself right next to the bowl of the spaghetti because he was like, what is this? This looks like something I could make a mess with. So I'm just here to, you know, report that my first attempt at like a proper activity did not go well.

Shanna

Man, I tell you, that's why I've given up on activities. I mean, I try every now and again, but it's like, I've had so many failed attempts at like setting up art projects, setting up experiments, setting things up. And then it's just like a huge mess. They are interested for three minutes.

Laura

I'm just like... I'm also going to send you another photo of the next activity I tried because I was like, maybe that was just too advanced for him. Maybe it was like his fine motor skills weren't there. Let's just do something basic, like draw with markers. Easy, right? Easy. Kids love that.

Shanna

All right, let's check out this picture. Oh, he drew all over his face, his mouth. Was he eating the markers?

Laura

Trying. I would keep him out of his mouth, but I sent you another picture you just got based on your reaction.

Shanna

Oh, yeah. There it is. Marker right on his face.

Laura

Classic. Oh my gosh. I know. So we're zero for two on the activities, but I guess I'll keep trying.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Laura

So that's what's going on with the 18 month old. Oh, so Augie, the three and a half year old, is back at school, as I mentioned. Thank goodness. Yay! He started again on Tuesday, so he got four full days at school. And on Monday we had like a meet and greet with his class. So we got a little bit of playtime in. But man. I am really understanding the term three-nager right now. The mood swings from this child are just breathtaking, truly amazing to witness. He will go from just being the absolute sweetest, just little dumpling of a person, right? He will walk up to me out of the blue with his big, beautiful eyes and just look at me and go, I love you, mama. Just out of nowhere. And I'll say, oh my gosh, I love you so much. I'm giving big kisses. Not two minutes later, he'll say, I hate you. I don't like you. Poopoo in your diaper. Throw yourself in the garbage. His insults, man.

Shanna

Oh my God, same with my girls, man. They throw insults mostly at each other and it's all poop related. You're pooping the toilet. You smell like poop. Oh, just like, oh my God, these kids in poop.

Laura

Here's the thing. Like, okay, there's two things. I don't know how to like handle it because like I don't want him to think that he's responsible for my feelings. So I don't want to be like, oh, that hurts my feelings when you call me a poopoo butt or whatever. But also I don't want him to like learn that he's Like I don't want him to do that with other people, right? Like I'm trying to teach him that like if he tells his friends that he hates them and their poo poo faces That you know, they are not gonna like that and it's gonna make you feel bad Yeah, so I don't have like a solution. I didn't look at I like I just don't know what to do So someone can help me maybe you can help me like what do you do when your kids hurl insults?

Shanna

Well, the I hate you thing I got a tip from dr. Becky because I the girls will say that to me and to each other a lot. And I would always be like, don't say you hate them. Like that's not nice or whatever. And you know, that doesn't do anything. And her advice was to kind of get to the root feeling of it. It's like, oh, I know you don't actually hate me. You must be feeling really upset right now by something. Like try to... have them understand that those words are coming from a feeling inside. And I think like the idea is to not just be like, don't say you hate the other person or don't insult. Don't say poo poo or whatever. But I still do that sometimes. I'm like, let's stop saying poop or like, let's stop. Like we don't say those kinds of, I don't know. But I do like, I will be like, oh, CECE, I know you don't actually hate Al.

Laura

I'm going to give that a try. Because right now my reaction that is definitely not helpful is like uncontrollable laughter. Yeah.

Speaker 1

Oh my gosh, it's so hard not to laugh. Throw yourself away.

Shanna

That's good. I'm going to start using that one. Someone cuts me off in traffic and be like, go throw yourself in a garbage.

Laura

But yeah, I'm trying to get rid of that reaction because I know that's not helpful and I don't want him to feel mocked when he's having like big overwhelming feelings. But like my big overwhelming feeling is he's so cute and it's really funny. I know, so you're both dealing with big overwhelming feelings here. That's right. Maybe he needs to be like, mom, I know that you think this is funny and laughter is a coping mechanism, but it's not helpful. Okay. So that's my check-in. I don't really have solutions, but I'm living with a 18-month-old who eats everything, dried spaghetti and markers included and three natures. That's our house. Yeah. Eddie, who how's it going with you guys is CECE in three major mode or is it just my kid?

Shanna

Oh, she is. I feel like she's been in three major mode since she was two. But I actually have a really positive check in for her that I'm really proud of her. So Cici started preschool back in March and it's now August so she's been there for a while and when we started the school it was new like it had just opened up a couple months ago didn't have a ton of students yet and the strategy was to like slowly add kids and open up new classrooms as more and more people. join what we have a lot of kids now and the director told steve that she wants to move cece up to a more advanced class and i'm like that's a great idea because you know she was in a classroom with two and three year olds and she was clearly you know. more mature and just older than a lot of the little two-year-olds. And yeah, the director was like, I really think that she can be challenged.

Laura

Yeah, for sure. Augie started doing stuff like that too. They must have the same training, right? Because he does the same thing, he'll be like, Snake, you know, the repeating of the sound and he goes in and out like there will be like two weeks where everything he has to point out every letter and then there will be like a week where I try to be like what letter is that and he wants nothing to do with it. But you know his classroom is two to four year olds and like I definitely love the fact that last year he was one of the younger kids in the class because it really pushes them I feel like to when they're exposed to the older kids and one of my like concerns with this year is that he's now one of the older kids.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Laura

And he doesn't have that like the exposure to the kids who are older on the, you know, day to day basis like he did. Right, right. But it's probably good practice for him to be like gentle and help teach other kids.

Shanna

Yes, I will say I think it's good for teaching them leadership skills. Like one thing her teachers always said about her when she was in the two to three year old class is that she was a clear like leader. she would help you know show the other kids what to do. She was really good at following directions and raising her hand and the other kids would look to her to that. And so I think that gave her a bit of confidence and now she's brought that into the older classroom and is doing a similar thing. So maybe that's something he'll be able to take from this year being one of the older kids.

Laura

Oh, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. But that's great because like my heart dropped when you said that they were like, oh, your new classroom is this way. That would send Augie in a tailspin. Really? Yeah, I think so. He's so attached to his teachers. Like one of the things that made me so happy is that he's in the same classroom this year because he's like so attached to his teachers. He's so attached to his friends and like there's a lot of the same kids in the class or at least there's enough that it's like It seems familiar that I think would be really hard for him to go to another class. So I'm proud of her.

Shanna

That's amazing. Yeah, I was really proud of her too with her ability to adapt and go with the flow. And it's been a great experience so far. So I'm really proud of her. Yay, go CECE. Yay. Okay, and then the other check-in this week, academic related, is that my little girl, Al, just started first grade, which I cannot even believe. What? Yes.

Laura

Let me send you her first day of school picture. Oh my God, she looks so excited and so happy and her favorite color is all the colors.

Shanna

Yeah, we fill out a little board, you know, first day of school every year asking a few questions and one of them is favorite color. I think last year was red, maybe, but this year she was like, it's red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet. She had to write all of those colors on this little board.

Speaker 1

So funny. So cute.

Shanna

Yeah, her first day went great. She's got a wonderful teacher who actually shares pictures with us of what the kids are doing. OMG. Yeah, her kindergarten teacher never did that. And I wasn't allowed in the classroom. So I was like blind to what her experience was like. So this is really wonderful. I get to see her classmates in her classroom and see what they do. So far, so good on that front too. How does she share them? Is there an app or she just sends them my email? She does use something called Class Dojo, which is what she uses to send messages to parents and some pictures. And then she has created a shared Google Photos album. And so, yeah, just check there a couple of days and see the new pictures. So yay.

Laura

Oh, that's nice.

Shanna

That's nice. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, that's it for me. Shall we move on to our special segment? Yes, we should.

Laura

Okay, we are back in our special segment for this week is what the hack where Shanna and I share some cool little tricks we've learned to help us in our parenting journeys. So Shanna, we have a lot to share. So let's get right to it. Do you want to share your first hack with me?

Shanna

Oh, I do. This one actually came up in our Facebook group, I think. Someone was like, oh my gosh, my daughter has one of those teeny, tiny little hair ties stuck in her hair. How do I get it out? And I'm like, oh, been there, been there with two girls. And like we've gone through a thousand of these teeny, tiny little hair ties because those are the best ones to hold their little, you know, tiny little thin hair, slippery little hair. Yeah. And they can be really hard to get out. They get stuck. The kids are like, oh, and blah, blah, blah. So I have two tricks to get these out relatively easily. Let's hear them. The first is to take a pair of nail clippers and just very gently slide it under one little edge of the hair tie, being sure you don't clip any hair if you can and just clip it. And then the whole thing will kind of break away and you can get it out without having to pull it out.

Laura

That sounds very useful. Not in my life, but for I'd say half of our listeners probably. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Although who knows? Maybe, maybe Augie or Sebastian will like stop wanting to get their hair cut and maybe it'll become necessary.

Shanna

Yeah. Yeah. They could rock little man buns. That would be perfect.

Laura

All right. What's your first hack for us? Okay. So my first mom hack is something that I found actually from a dad on TikTok. The account is Ollie's best fit. And it looks like, I don't know, maybe it's like a fitness account, maybe it's a data account. But whatever it was, he had this one trick, which was wonderful, which was he was talking about how like, you know, with little kids, especially ones who aren't like totally verbal yet or still like learning to speak, they get so frustrated when they like can't communicate. And then everything starts to devolve and they start getting like into meltdown territory. And his trick for snapping kids out of it and getting them to take deep breaths is asking, do you smell that? And then, yeah, right? And then modeling like, do you smell that? And then making them do it three times. He's like, they always stop.

Shanna

I can see CeCe really liking this too. Because in general, she is very aware of smells. Like she'll just be going along. She's like, I smell something. I smell something. Like I'm like, what? And then I'll be like, oh yeah. It's like the trash stinks or whatever. So I'm definitely going to try that on her. And I like how it's kind of a way for them to take deep breaths too. So their brain gets Diverted from whatever's bothering them and then they're taking deep breaths. That's so genius.

Laura

It's a sneaky way to get them to take deep breaths.

Shanna

Uh-huh. I would love it. Definitely going to try that one.

Laura

Okay. So what's your next one?

Shanna

As you know, when you live with little kids, there are always markers around everywhere and they get on everything. And for the most part, they're washable, which is great. But then sometimes they get their little hands on a Sharpie. And it all goes to hell, right? Cause those are permanent.

Laura

Yeah. I saw Sebastian walking around with a Sharpie recently and I was just like, where did you get that? No. Oh my God.

Speaker 1

Get it out of your hands.

Laura

I found it before he had taken the lid off, but I was just like, Jesus. No, don't do it. Okay. So you. Do you have a trick for us in case disaster strikes? I do.

Shanna

And it's based on experience because I got the cutest dress at Target recently, this like purple dress. I'm like, it's my summer jam. I love it. I was wearing it all the time for like a week, wasn't even that old. And Elle somehow got red Sharpie on my new dress. And I was like, Mama can never have nice things. Dude, tell me about it. My first, right? Oh my God, Dianna. So my first thing is like, well, I'll just see if they have another one and I'll just buy one. And they didn't have one and my size and blah, blah, blah. So I was like, fine, I'll see if I can get this out. It's probably hopeless. I found a hack that worked. Okay, I thought permanent marker meant permanent. I know. Here's what you do. I imagine you need to do this when the stain is fresh, probably not after it's gone through the laundry.

Laura

And the dye on your clothes didn't get affected? No. Wow, that's really cool.

Shanna

I mean, it probably depends on the item of clothing, but that particular dress, it ended up being totally fine.

Laura

Wow, that's cool to know. I knew that Sharpie was alcohol soluble, but I never thought to use it on fabric because I'd be worried that the fabric would also fade. So, and you'd have a weird faded spot. Well, that's good to know.

Shanna

Yeah. I guess it's either a weird faded spot or a sharpie stain. You got to, I guess, pick, you know, the worst of two evils.

Laura

Dude, I bought a new shirt recently, like one I really liked, and it wasn't that expensive. But still, it was like new nice shirt with no stains on it. And the first day I wore it, not only did Sebastian like crush a strawberry in like a gooey strawberry in his hand and then just smear it all over the shirt. But then like two seconds later, when I finally got the baby cleaned up and put him down and he was happily playing, Cal, my cat came over and was pawing at me to get my attention and snagged a big old hole in it. Oh my God. I was so pissed, I had the same thought. I was like, why can't mama have nice things? Right?

Shanna

It's so frustrating. Oh, I know. I know. Such is the life we live, Laura. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

Laura

You have another hack for us? I do. Speaking of markers, I have a hack that I saw on Facebook. I've actually seen this in like multiple places, but it's not specifically about Sharpies. It's about like drawing markers. Probably washable Crayola markers would be preferable for this. Right. Okay, so you know how the worst part about drawing with markers is that your kids instantly lose the caps?

Speaker 1

Oh, my God.

Laura

Yes. Yes, I know. I mean, they take them off and then they're instantly like off the table. They're cylindrical, so they just roll into like whatever corner, right? They're going to be like under the couch behind the lamp under the rug, you know, like they're gone, right? And so every art session, which for us is like a five minute session, maybe before the kids get sick of everything ends with the markers everywhere. So I saw a hack. I haven't tried it yet, but I really want to. which is you go to the dollar store and you buy a lipstick holder, which is like this little box with all these little compartments, right?

Shanna

Oh, like an organizer. Yes.

Laura

Like you put on your vanity. Yes, exactly. A lipstick organizer. That's a better word for it. And you take hot glue and you like put a little dab of hot glue in the bottom of each of these compartments. and you stick the marker in cap side down. So it creates a little like display of markers for your kids to have and they just grab the marker out and the hot glue holds onto that lid so it doesn't roll away into God knows what like Elfin Hollow lives behind your couch. And they get to draw and then they can put it back and no more missing caps.

Shanna

Oh, I love that idea. I also love that you assume they'll put it back. That's cute. I should say you put it back later.

Laura

Yeah, yeah. But at least you don't have to spend like, you know, five minutes setting up the art, two minutes doing the art, and then 15 minutes on hands and knees crawling around your living room trying to find The damn cap. Where's the red cap? We have all the other caps. Where's the red one?

Shanna

Oh God. Okay, so I need to know did they make a lipstick organizer with like 99 compartments because my kids have so many damn markers.

Laura

Augie's like that. He wants all the colors.

Speaker 1

All of them. Yeah.

Laura

But knowing you, I feel like you're the mom who buys the 312 box of crayons or whatever. You have to have all the colors.

Shanna

Yeah. CECE and I were at Staples the other day and she's like, I want something. I'm like, all right, fine. And we went to the Crayola display. And it's like, yeah, I could buy her a box of 10 primary colors or whatever. Or I could buy the box of 250 for $7.99, you know which one I got. But then I complained about having too many markers, so I'm a mess. I'm a mess.

Laura

Well, I mean, you know, you love color, so we'll let it slide. Thank you. Okay, Shanna, what's your next hack?

Shanna

My next hack has to do with brushing teeth. which I always have hacks for brushing teeth because the level of cooperation in my house with teeth brushing comes and goes. Sometimes they're really, really great about jumping in there, brushing those teeth, et cetera. And sometimes they just don't want to do it. They're dragging their feet. It's taking forever. And I'm losing my patience. And I'm always trying to find new motivation for these kids to brush their damn teeth. So here's my new one. We play freeze dance, but with brushing, right? So I'll be like, hey, do you guys want to play freeze brush your teeth? And he's like, yeah. And I sing a song, any song. There's like, we have a brush the teeth song from some book. It's like, do you brush day and night? Do you brush left and right or something like that? And then I'll stop. And when I stop, they stop brushing.

Laura

Okay. I'm gonna try that with Augie tonight because we have been using the like wait What's in there trick for like, but you know of course with Star Wars stuff So we're like oh my gosh are there stormtroopers in there, but it's starting to fade Yeah, you know the efficacy is fading on that one. He's he's wise to it. So Okay, I will try that. Yeah.

Shanna

All right. Good.

Laura

Yeah report back on how it goes. I will I will What's your next hack for us? Speaking of target clothes, this is another thing I learned off of TikTok. I will say this is the last TikTok hack. So the rest of them are coming from my brain. So this is from the at your rich BFF account, which is a personal finance account. She posted a policy I actually did not know about, which is that you can return Kat and Jack clothes to Target within a year for any reason. What? They have like 100% satisfaction guarantee and they expect people to return those clothes so it's like built into the price. It actually applies to any of targets like in house brands. I don't know all the names of them, but you know, Cat and Jack is like an exclusive target brand, right? You can't buy it anywhere else.

Shanna

Oh, how would they figure out what the cost of that item was a year prior, I wonder?

Laura

Not a clue. Not a clue. They probably based on a skew, you know? Yeah. Their pricing probably doesn't change that much either, you know? That's true.

Shanna

Those t-shirts are like four bucks usually, and the pants are like eight or whatever. Yeah.

Laura

Well that's good to know because we have a lot of cat and Jack too and L often wears holes into the knees of her leggings so there you go to get on that I mean and that's a really valid reason right like my kid is worn holes in it like it's not quality enough I'm sure that they would give you an exchange at least. Yeah, cool.

Shanna

Okay, what is your next hack? This is another hack for getting my kids motivated to do shit that they need to do, which they drag their feet. I'm always, always looking for tricks to get them motivated. And this one, it's usually about getting dressed for school or to go somewhere because that takes forever with these kids. And one thing they started naturally doing themselves, mostly motivated by Elle, because she's the older kid, is like, let's race. Let's see who can get dressed first. Let's see who can get their shoes on first with CeCe. And I fucking hate races with kids. I hate them. I actually made a note of this for a gripewater session, but it's coming up now. So whatever. I'll find something else to gripe about later. Gee, will you be able to find anything else to complain about? Probably not with my idyllic life.

Laura

I like that because, yeah, we've started doing the race to get upstairs and get in the bath. And that motivates Augie. Like, Corey will say like, oh, I don't know who's going to win. Who's going to win? Is it going to be Augie or Sebastian? And I also kind of hate it because I read in that book, Peaceful Parent Happy Siblings, that like, Pitting them against each other is like one of the worst things you can do, right? But it creates sibling rivalry instead of, like, you know, trying to keep it away. And Sebastian's too little right now to be caring about losing. But I feel like it's setting up a bad precedent. So I've been thinking, like, I need to, like, nip this in the bud before it gets to be a whole thing, right? And Augie can't handle losing. And of course, he never loses because Sebastian's can't undress himself yet. Right.

Shanna

Yeah. And then it's cute because they kind of become a team trying to beat the song, you know, working together. And another thing that sometimes works is like beating the counting, right? Can you guys get in the car seat before I count to 10? Or something just a little bit more neutral as opposed to which one of you can get in the seat first? Because yeah, it's not good now that they're both older. It's definitely creating sibling rivalry and it's not good.

Laura

Yeah, okay. That's the motivation I needed to hear. Can I get them to stop racing each other before Sebastian turns two?

Shanna

Exactly. Okay, what's your next hack?

Laura

Okay, so my next hack is something I stumbled upon on our trip to Portland recently. So on that trip, Augie was actually sleeping in a twin bed by himself for the first time. He's been sleeping in his, you know, his converted crib for god ages now. I don't even remember when we swapped him, but like, he's very comfortable in like an open bed situation. But this bed was a little high up and I was a little worried that he was gonna like tumble off the side. So I wanted to,

Shanna

It worked just fine. That's so brilliant. So such a good idea for traveling. That's so smart.

Laura

Yeah. I mean, and usually if you're like even in a hotel, they'll probably like give you extra blankets, right? And you can just shove them under. You could probably even take like sweaters and do it if necessary. Right. Because they're little. It's not like they need a huge bump. They just need something to stop them from, like, slowly rolling off the side, because I feel like it happens in slow motion with Augie, at least. Like, what, first a leg creeps over, and then, like, you know, then the hips start moving. And they're just gonna slide. Yeah that he just like finally hits this spot where it like tips.

Shanna

I really wish I would have thought of this when we went to redondo beach maybe was last year the first time we went and one of the chaos things in the night was that. CECE rolled off the twin bed and fell on the floor and woke up in the middle of the night. And my solution was to just put extra pillows on the floor so that if she rolled off again, she would just land on pillows. Like you're still going to fall kid, but maybe it'll be a softer landing.

Laura

So yeah. So I think we each have one more hack. Am I right?

Shanna

Yes. And my remaining hack is my favorite one. I've been saving it for last.

Laura

Ooh, that sounds like a really good tease to go on a break and come back with our final hacks. What do you say? All right.

Shanna

10 more times and say it fast. Okay. It occurred to me recently that my girls do not know my phone number. If they are lost somewhere, they don't know how to tell someone, how to contact me. And I'm like, I think that's a good piece of information to teach them. But that seems tricky. Like, I don't know. It's 10 digits. Like when we were little, it was seven. And it seems easy and catchy. I don't know. I don't remember when I actually learned my parents' phone number. But I'm definitely like CZ's three, right? There's no way she's gonna remember a ten digit phone number. And then I saw a thread in my mom's group about teaching your kid your phone number. And this mom said, I taught my kids my phone number by putting it to a jingle of their favorite song. And I was like, oh, that's going to be perfect for them because they both really love music.

Laura

Oh my God. Same, Aki. And he puts me on the spot too. We'll listen to a song once, right? So he like always wants me to sing songs back to him. And I'll be like, well, I don't know. I don't know the words. He's like, well, let's listen. And we'll listen to it once and be like, OK, now you know. No, I don't. But I'm not like you. I don't understand.

Speaker 1

Oh, my God, that's so cute.

Shanna

I just love that. Granted, half the lyrics, quote, lyrics they know are just like wrong or whatever. But, you know, I'll give it to him. So I was like, OK, pop patrol, right? Yeah. I listen to freaking pop patrol all the time. The pop patrol theme song is what I'm going to use. It's perfect for a phone number. In my mind, I'm like, five, five, five. Five, five, five, five, five, five, five. Right? But my phone number. And I got out three sheets of printer paper. And on the first sheet, I wrote the area code, the first three numbers, the second sheet. I wrote the next three numbers. And then the next sheet, I wrote the last four numbers, really big. And I was like, girls, it's really important that you know my phone number so that if anything happens, you ever get lost, you need to contact me. You can tell someone my phone number and you know how to contact me. And they're like, oh, okay.

Laura

So I know you know the answer to this, but I'm just going to ask you, what's Jenny's number?

Shanna

Who's Jenny? Oh, I thought you meant our friend Jenny.

Laura

Is it 8-6-7-5-3-0-9? Sure is. So you were reminding me, I feel like in my mind this whole time you've been talking, I'm like, oh, this is the 8-6-7-5-3-0-9 method. Yeah. We all know it. It also reminded me. of this TikTok I saw, of course, that was like of a person going around to all her co-workers and asking, what year were you born? And then asking, what's Jenny's number? And like it was so interesting to see the split. It was like anyone born after her, I want to say like 88, maybe even earlier, no one knew what the hell she was asking for with Jenny's number.

Shanna

Oh, that's great. Oh, yeah, that's embedded in my mind forever. And I guess it's also the philosophy behind commercials on TV, right, with the phone numbers. I can't think of any offhand, but so many are set to little jingles and it really gets stuck in your brain.

Laura

Well, that's good. I got to start working on that with Augie because I don't know. I mean, I'm trying to practice teaching him my name. Oh, he had the cutest video from school the other day, where his teachers were like asking like, I think they're asking something about me, right? There was like asking, what do you thought about me or does he love me or something? I don't know. But it resulted in him saying, well, she has a name, but I always forget it.

Shanna

Yeah, your mommy. We were talking about nicknames recently with the girls because they have little nicknames. And I was like, oh, you guys are so lucky of nicknames. I don't have a nickname because I never have my entire life. And they're like, yes, you do. And I'm like, I do. What? They're like, it's mama. I was like, oh, yeah.

Laura

My nickname is mama. That's funny.

Shanna

Oh my gosh. Okay. Shall we move on to your last what the hack?

Laura

Yes. Okay. So this is a hack for reframing. It's really for us, but it could also be used for the kids. And it's something I heard on the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast. And unfortunately I don't remember exactly what episode it was. It was either from like June or July. of 2022, but it's a great podcast. Maybe if I can find it, I'll put it in the show notes. But I was like binging, I was catching up on the podcast and I was like binging it. And their suggestion was to adopt the phrase for now. And the way you use it is whenever you're having a hard time, remember that things pass, things change. It's true, they always change. And so you're having a hard day and you're like, oh, this baby will not sleep for now. Or, oh, my toddler, he has such big mood swings for now. And adding that makes you remember,

Shanna

Hmm. I love that idea because yeah, when you are stuck in a cycle of difficulty, you know, difficult night sleeping is a big one. It just feels never ending. And it gets really overwhelming to think, God, this is never going to end. But reframing it that way definitely makes it feel a little bit less heavy for sure.

Laura

Yes. So I've really enjoyed that. Thank you to Gretchen Rubin and her sister, Elizabeth Kraft for that one, because I've been using it a lot.

Shanna

That's so great. It reminds me of a great reframing that L's kindergarten teacher taught the class, and I use this for the kids a lot. It's the word yet. So little kids, perfectionists especially get really down on themselves when they can't do something, right? It's like L would be like, I can't draw a cat and then you add yet, right? I can't draw a cat yet. I can't read yet. You can't read yet. Like it gives them the idea that they will be able to do it. It's a skill that needs to be worked on and it doesn't feel so deflating and negating as just being like, it's something I can't do. So I might as well give up. So I try adding that a lot with the girls whenever I hear them say something, like negative like that and wanting to give up. Yet, you will be able to. Monkey bars was a big one. I can't do the monkey bars. I was always like, yet, you can't do them yet. I'll be damned.

Laura

Oh, that's good. All right. Well, I think that was a very productive segment. I hope our listeners agree and have a lot of tools they can take into their parenting journeys. But should we move on to our BFPs and BFNs? I think we should.

Shanna

We wrap up every episode with our weekly BFPs or BFNs. Laura, it's your turn to go first. So let us know. Do you have a BFP or a BFN? I have a BFP.

Laura

Ooh, what is it? It's another score from my Buy Nothing group. Yes! And it's a baby doll for Sebastian. Aww, how cute. Okay, so this might not seem like a big deal because I think a lot of parents have a lot of baby dolls around their house, but we had none because Augie could not give two shits about baby dolls. Like, I tried, right? When he was a toddler, I was like, I want to make sure I have baby dolls. And like, You know, quote unquote, girly things, right? Like sort of heteronormatively girl things, pink, sparkly, unicorn, blah, blah, blah. All that stuff. And man is this kid like just skewing stereotypically male. Like he wants his trucks. He wants his Star Wars. You know what I mean? Like I tried to get him an Elsa dress and he rejected it like really? Oh my God. He was like grossed out by it. It was so interesting because he loves frozen.

Shanna

Okay, he's got his little doll carrying it around somewhere, maybe a waiting room or something. I assume he's taking it out and about in the world.

Laura

We did get to his 18 month checkup.

Shanna

Oh, giving baby a big kiss on the head. Oh, that's so cute.

Laura

The only thing is he does not like it to be dressed. Oh my God. Anytime I put clothes on it, he has to take it off.

Shanna

Same with my girls. Every single doll they have is naked. The clothes have been just lost.

Laura

Okay, I'm glad to know it's not just me.

Shanna

I'm like, it's fun to dress them. Let's dress them. No, all they want to do is undress them and have them be naked. Yeah.

Laura

Interesting. Okay. Well, glad to hear it. So yeah, he's really into this doll and I don't know if it's going to last, but it's sweet to have as an option. So yeah, BFP is a baby doll for my little boy.

Shanna

Aw, I love it. That's so sweet.

Laura

Yeah. Okay, how about you? Do you have a BFP or a BFN?

Shanna

I have a BFP. Oh, good. My BFP is a book that we checked out at the library recently and I just love it. I think it is clever and cute and really funny. I'm always into funny books with the girls because it cracks them up and it's just a joy to read. And of course, The theatrical side of me loves doing wild character voices and stuff like that. So this book is called You Loves You. Y-O-U loves you, E-W-E. Like a female sheep.

Speaker 1

I don't know that I'm going to change it to Cobra on the podcast, but I don't know. We'll see.

Laura

Yeah, I think relinquishing editorial control to a six-year-old might not be the best plan.

Shanna

Yeah, no, I don't think so, Cobra. Anyway, so we love that book. The book's by CeCe Bell, and she's written some other stuff, too. And yeah, check it out. Awesome. Well, I think that is it for us this week, huh?

Laura

I think it is, except you have a five-star review to read. OK, we have one from someone on Apple Podcast, who has a username that is, I think, unpronounceable. Here, let me try. Shesukebejelbeef. Oh, I think it might just be auto-generated because there's a lot of consonants in a row. But anyway, this person says, I absolutely love this podcast, Five Stars. I love your podcast and have recommended it to many friends. I've listened since I was pregnant with my first and now my second is 11 months old. I love that you kept it going through COVID. I come to you guys for advice and support through the parenting journey. Thank you. Well, thank you.

Shanna

Thank you and you are welcome. We so appreciate you taking a few minutes out of your day to leave that review for us. Thank you. Thank you. And listeners, if you haven't had a chance yet to leave us a five star review, could you do us a favor, please? And head on over to Apple podcasts or wherever you listen. Drop us five stars. Say a few things you'd love about the show and we might read your review on an upcoming episode. And if you have anything you want to chime in on today's episode, any mom hacks of your own you want to share, reach out. Laura, where can they reach us?

Laura

We're on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok at BFPpodcast. We have a website, bigfatpositivepodcast.com. If you want to send us an email, you can always throw a voice memo in there. Just send it to contact at bigfatpositivepodcast.com. And finally, if you want to join the best group of people on the internet, just search Facebook for Big Fat Positive Community. It's a private group so you have to request to join and it's super important you answer the two membership questions just so we know you're not a robot or someone trying to spam us. And then once we figure that out you'll be sent straight through and you can join in all the amazing conversations we're having in there about like everything from traveling with kids to bottle refusal to you know wire toddlers like that and everything in between. So please come join us.

Shanna

Our show was produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thanks so much for listening, everyone. Have a great week. Bye. Bye.