When Your Child Is Scared You’ll Die – Ep. 203
May 23, 2022
Listen Now:
In the special segment “Throwback,” Shanna tells the story of how she was terrible at musical theater as a tween in the 90s and how the experience shaped her. Also, Laura talks about her 14-month-old being on the verge of switching from two naps a day to one, and Shanna discusses how she handled her six-year-old’s fear of death. Finally, they share their BFPs and BFNs for the week. Shanna’s kids are 3 and 6 years old, and Laura’s kids are 3 years old and 14 months old.
Show Notes:
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Episode Transcript
Shanna
Hi, welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. On this week's episode, we have our weekly check-ins. We have our special segment, Throwback, where I tell a story about how being a chimney sweep may have just changed my life. And we wrap it up with our weekly BFPs and BFNs. Let's get to it. Hi, everyone. Welcome to episode 203. Hey, Laura. Hi, Shanna. How are you doing? How are the boys? How's life?
Laura
Hi, we're good. We're good. My mom is in town right now. Awesome. Yeah, she's here. Actually, she's here through next week. So it's nice to have her around. Grandma Susan is always a very welcome sight for my boys, especially Augie. It has a little bit to do with the fact that she buys them lots of toys.
Shanna
Always.
Laura
As grandma's are supposed to do. Yeah, she always shows up with gifts for them. And so like the first thing Augie says is like, did you bring me a present?
And yeah, she has this tendency to take them into stores and kind of get them something from every store she goes into. So now she has introduced him to Marshalls. Oh yeah, Marshalls is a good one. We were walking down the street the other day without my mom. We were just on a walk and Augie saw Marshalls. She's like, I want to go into Marshalls. And I was like, what? What three-year-old says I want to go into Marshall's and people who don't know like or don't have it in their area I think it's nationwide in the US but like if you're outside of the US it's Marshall's is like. A discount store? I don't know what, how would you explain Marshall's?
Shanna
Yeah, like a discount retailer, they get clothes and there's our toys, shoes, stuff from brands and sell them at a discount.
Laura
Yeah, it's sort of like overstock or stuff that they make too much of. Yeah. I love Marshalls, so I can't blame them. But yeah, my mom took him into Marshalls and caught him a present. So now I want to go to Marshalls.
It's McDonald's and Marshalls around here. And yeah, so it's been nice having her around. And other than that, it's just been like the sleep weirdness over and over. Still for both of them or for one of them. Well, so Sebastian, the 14 month old is doing okay at night. Like he's actually sleeping through the night again finally, which is great. But his naps are suddenly super weird. Like he'll go a couple days where he'll have like super long naps twice a day, like two, two hour naps in a day, a couple days in a row. And then he'll reject his naps like altogether, like at least one of them. And you never know what kind of day it's going to be. Um, usually it's when you like need to go somewhere that he's like, you know what, today is going to be a two hour nap day. Oh, right. When you have a schedule on the days where I need to get stuff done at home around the house.
He's like, you know what, I don't need to nap this afternoon. Just don't need it. How is he so tuned in to what you need? I know. There was one day this week where the afternoon nap just wasn't happening, right? It just wasn't happening. We were doing our check-ins and stuff. And my mom was like, let me try. This is like her fatal flaw as a grandma. She always thinks she knows better, right? So she's like, let me try. I bet I can get him down. I was like, okay, whatever. We had been doing the sleep training check-ins and stuff, and it wasn't working. So I was like, okay, sure. You doing whatever you want to do is not going to change our sleep training in the long term, so knock yourself out. And she went up there and tried to lie down on the couch with him. And at some point, Corey came in and he's like, where's Sebastian? And I was like, oh, he's upstairs with my mom.
She's trying to get him to sleep. And he's like, oh, but the sleep training, she's lying on the couch. I'm like, trust me, it's not going to work. We don't have to worry because it's not gonna work and it didn't yeah about like 40 minutes later my mom came down and she was like well we were lying down on the couch and he just wouldn't put his head down and he just was babbling away and talking and talking and then he turned to the window and I've put up foil on the window. Like in my attempts to fix his sleep, I've like put foil all over one of his windows to try to black out his room more. And he leaned over and he opened the window shade and he tore back the foil and said, hi to the person walking outside.
Shanna
Good job Grandma Susan you did it.
Laura
Yeah, yeah, so anyway, but that was one of those like perfect situations where everyone won in a way because it's like she got to feel like she did her thing and I got to feel like I knew her thing wasn't gonna work. And, uh, apparently the baby was fine with one nap that day, so there you go. But no, Naps, I think he's about to drop to one nap. I think, like, by this point, Augie had already dropped to one nap. Like, I don't remember. Do you remember when your girls dropped to one nap? No. No one remembers that shit, like, past a couple months, right? Like, that was a long memory ago. I think Augie went down to one nap either around this time or before. So, you know, he's in the window that it would be normal to drop down to a single nap. But I'm like holding on to it because we're in this mommy and me class that meets at 11 a.m. on Tuesdays.
And I want to like get through the session before we switch to one nap.
Shanna
That makes sense. Yeah.
Laura
Right. Yeah. Anyway, but he's probably telling me that that's stupid and I should just follow his lead. But I paid money for this class, damn it. Exactly. Okay. So, but anyway, that's all natural and normal. And I'm sure what I'm about to tell you about, Augie is natural and normal, but boy, is it more frustrating. And that is that apparently the Terminix shadow busting team is not like a sufficient deterrent right now because he's still waking up almost every night. And either me or Corey has to like go in and sleep next to him on the nugget or stay in there for a long time and it's like every night. And he won't come to our room. Like, you know, in desperation, I've been like, just, Augie, do you want to just come sleep between mommy and daddy? No, you stay here.
I don't want to sleep on here. You just like we sleep trained you too well. You don't want to leave your room, but like, right? So I don't know. I don't have answers because we're so sleep deprived that we don't have like time to do research on it. So anyway. Yeah.
Shanna
That was like me a couple of months ago when I was just like, what, like 21 days straight of interrupted sleep. And I'm like, I don't know what to do. And finally, Cici was like, let me listen to lullabies all night. Like it came to the point where she had to come up with a solution basically, because I was just useless.
Laura
So I feel you. Yeah, maybe we should try the lullabies. Who knows? But he's really particular about music. So I feel like it might bother. You know, he's not used to listening to music at night. So, but, you know, at this point, anything's worth a try.
Shanna
Here's my other suggestion. Get that kid a full-size bed.
Laura
Yeah.
Shanna
So when you go in in the middle of the night, like, I do crawl into another bed at least. I don't know.
Laura
No, that's actually on my list of things to do is like get him a big full-size bed so that. Oh, it is. Yeah. We're just kind of with the renovation, which, by the way, is almost done. Like, yay, we're getting really close. Like we can use our own bathroom again. And oh, yeah, this week we got our stove installed. That was huge. That's awesome. Yeah. So, I mean, like we're getting there, right? We're getting there and things are starting to calm down a little bit. But we're also like out of money. Ah, yes. Because, you know, it went over budget like anything does. And yeah, so I'm like, maybe we hold off on those big purchases for a little bit because, you know, when you get the mattress and the bed, it adds up. Mm hmm. True. So but yeah, I think that's definitely in the near future is a big bed for his room. So I can sleep in it. Exactly. But anyway, that was our week.
Shanna, I want to hear about your week. What's been going on with y'all?
Shanna
Oh, we're fine. The preschool plague continues to get us. I'm still a little bit under the weather. I like took Afrin before recording today because I was so stuffed up. I probably still sound kind of nasally. I'm sorry. I tried to clear everything up before we recorded, but I'm still like, very frustrating.
Laura
Oh, girl. i've had the worst allergies like the worst allergies for weeks and like mm-hmm again apologies to everyone listening but i i can't really take anything i mean i can take things i can do afran i probably should have done that uh but i can't take like pseudofed which is what i really want because i'm afraid it's going to mess with my milk supply right even though it doesn't matter like my baby is 14 months old like he doesn't actually need my breast milk, but still like, I don't know. That's my own thing. But I haven't been taking pseudofed, but I'm just like, I literally, I feel like I just don't have sinuses. Like I don't have sinus cavities. They're just gone. And so I am all like... Very nasally, too. But you sound fine to me. I'm sorry that you've been sick.
Shanna
Oh, well, that's good. Yay for Afrin. It really does help. And I feel like I'm breathing really well for the first time in a couple of days, which is nice. But, you know, you can't use that stuff too much. Yeah. Because it backfires and makes things worse. It's so cruel. So cruel.
Laura
Yeah, it's got the rebound thing. But it works so well. It's scary how well it works, actually. Yes, anyway, so all right, what I'm gonna talk about this week is... Wait, you didn't wanna talk about decongestants. This isn't like an allergy podcast now.
Shanna
You know, I love my decongestants. But this is a different topic. Another big topic that starts with the letter D. Yes, death. No one died. Don't worry.
Laura
Jesus, Sean.
Shanna
Sorry. I was like, who died? What's happening? Nobody died. Nobody died. But when you have kids, at some point, they become aware of the fact that you as their parents could die. Oh, yeah. And I've been trying to avoid this topic with Elle for a really long time. She's six now, and she's brought it up a couple of times before. You know, she gets sad thinking about what happens if one of us dies or whatever. Another night, she brought it up again. I haven't heard this topic in a really long time. And usually she brings it up around Steve, and I don't have to deal with it really. But she brought it up to me before bedtime. And it was really... It's so hard. If any other parent has gone through this with their kid yet, it's not a fun thing. And I remember feeling really worried and scared about this. When I was a kid too, so I tried to be so sympathetic and sensitive to her.
Before bed, she was crying in her bed. And I came in and I was like, what's going on? And she's like, I'm so worried if you guys die. What's going to happen? When are you gonna die and just sobbing? She's such a sensitive little soul. And it's like, you know, the reality of it is like, I don't know. Nothing is certain. And I try to be as truthful with her as possible. But I also want to be comforting. Like, I don't want to be like, well, honey, who knows? Like, one of us could die tomorrow. Like, I don't want to tell her that.
Laura
Well, life is meaningless and we all die. It could happen in the next five minutes. There could be a meteor. Don't worry about it too much. Go to sleep. Bye. Yeah. Good night. Good night.
Shanna
Yeah. So I thought back to my childhood and definitely the refrain was like, we as our parents, we're not going to die for a long time, right? Most people die when they're really old. You know blah blah blah so that's kind of like I tried to acknowledge her feelings like I tried to channel like Dr. Becky and Janet and I'm like. I understand that sounds like really worrying and upsetting and I can see why you're upset by that thought. We're not going to die for a really long time. I'm going to be your mom and dad's going to be your dad for a really long time, you know, and whatever, trying to really, really comfort her. And, you know, it just kind of like absorbed her feelings and accepted her feelings and let her cry and do all of that. She eventually moved on and we went on to book time and everything. But afterwards, I was like, shit, what if we do die? What if one of us dies?
We do not have our ducks in a row as parents. So I was like, Steve, this was a wake up call for me. We need to get stuff in order. And the first of all, the easiest thing for us to do was to up our life insurance each. Because before, we were kind of paying for the minimum amount. Like, I don't know, I don't think that much money would be quite enough if one of us goes. That could be really stressful. So we both just went right away and like increased our life insurance to like the max amount that we could. Do you have that through work or? We both have a policy through work. Yeah. And I think the max amount they allow is like 10 times. your income or something. So that made me feel better.
And then like the next thing we still haven't done yet, need to get on this is like setting up some kind of living trust, a will, a direction of guardianship, you know, like, where would they go if we die? So it's all like stuff I hate thinking about and I hate talking about. I'm sorry to even bring it up, but it's like this reality that slaps you in the face when you're a parent. that you can't really ignore. I mean, I guess I've been ignoring it the last six and a half years. But I don't want to ignore it. I want to take it on and tackle it and figure stuff out and stuff. So that's next on our agenda.
Laura
I think that's good. It's a good reminder. We are like 90% done with it. We hired someone, you know, like we were referred to someone to get all of our like trust and will and directives and all that stuff together. And like there's just like some papers we have to sign and some other things we have to do. And we have been sitting on it for like almost a year. Really? It's well, we moved like we were doing it right before we moved. And then we're like, well, shit, we have to change all the addresses and all that stuff. you know, then it's just been busy and it hasn't been at the top of our minds. But yeah, now that you're doing it, ooh, if you do it, I'll do it. How's that plan? We'll get it done together.
Shanna
Yeah, yeah. I think we should hold each other accountable. Okay, sounds good. Okay. And yeah, I gotta talk to Steve about it, get those ducks in a row, and I'm sure I'll report back. And you too, because you're gonna do it too, when we're done with this. Yes, okay, we will. Yeah. So, you know, she's moved on from it, you know, these these things and these scary thoughts hit her and she feels them so hard. And then she moves on because she's a kid and she's fine now. But yeah, next time she brings it up, I want to know that we are in a better place and like more prepared for all of that stuff. Yeah. So that's pretty much my check in for the week. Should we move on to our special segment? Yeah, let's do it.
Laura
All right, we are back in our special segment this week. Again, is throwback. But this time it's Shanna's turn to tell us a story from her past that informs her parenting today. Shanna? I love hearing your throwback stories. So I am sitting here with some popcorn. Not really, because that would be really bad for a podcast to hear me crunching popcorn. So bad. My imaginary popcorn. I can't wait to hear what you've got in store for us today. All right.
Shanna
This story has been on my mind recently because my girls are doing extracurricular activities lately. Now that the pandemic has subsided a bit, you know, Elle's been taking karate, getting CECE into some swim lessons, and it's just bringing me back to a time in my life when I did an extracurricular activity that I'm gonna tell you about now. Ooh, was it underwater basket weaving? How did you know you spoiled all my stories? Yes, that was so hot in Phoenix in the 90s. No, no, it wasn't. Okay, so this is 1990 in Phoenix, Arizona, where I grew up. I was in eighth grade or maybe like going into eighth grade that summer. Okay. And as an eighth grader, I was into a few things extracurricular wise, right? I played softball, something I'd done my whole life. Yes. I played the flute, which I'd done for years. Me too, me too. And I had just dabbled in little things here and there.
you know, I took archery for like two weeks, one summer or something like that, right? Just not much. Um, but mostly I was like really good at things I tried. Well, you know, I was just a confident kid and I would just like go for it and be like, Hey, I'm pretty good for a beginner, beginner's luck. And that gave me confidence. Anyway, so that's the, the beginnings of this story. So that summer, two girls on my softball team who are sisters told me about this local theater that they had joined. Something that the theater did was like camps for kids that lasted a few weeks. And then at the end of the camp, they would like put on a musical, right? It was like a musical theater camp. Everyone who signs up has a part, gets to be seeing, dance, act, all that jazz. And we went to see their production of Into the Woods. And I was like, well, that looks fun.
And these two sisters aren't very good at this, but they seem like they're having a good time. I could probably do better than them, right? Like a very cocky at this age, like competitive. Oh, God, I know. Competitive from the get go. I know. It's so ridiculous. But I should mention I had zero theater experience. Like, I don't know where I got such a big head. Like, we had done Peter and the Wolf in sixth grade at elementary school, and I was cast as, like, the grass. Like, I had to lay down behind the grass and, like, shimmy the cardboard grass. Like, that was my role. Iconic, the grass, though. Yes. Very iconic. It really made the play. No singing experience, except for, like, elementary school music class where you sing, like, there's a hole in the bucket, Dear Liza, that kind of thing. and definitely no dancing experience, zero dancing talent whatsoever.
But I was like, that looks fun. I want to do that. And so I'm like, mom, will you sign me up for the next theater camp at this theater? It's called Theater Works. She's like, OK, let's do it. And they signed me up for this three or four week camp over our Christmas break. So I had to wait a couple months and sign up over Christmas break. And I was so excited. I got all dressed up for my first day of theater camp. I wore like my overalls with one strap down because that was like the style back then. Remember that?
Laura
That's like peak 1990 right there.
Shanna
Yes. Yeah. And remember, I have like these huge glasses because I have terrible astigmatism, but I'm like trying my best to be cool and confident. And I show up in my favorite outfit. So I'm feeling good and confident. My mom drops me off at the theater, which had been converted from an old feed barn in West Phoenix. It looked like this big, huge barn. And they told me to go to the rehearsal room, which was like some old hay storage area that had been turned into a costume room. It was lined with costumes. So in that regard, it was very exciting. I had costumes from all their shows past. It kind of smelled like an old thrift store and stuff, but it also kind of smelled like old hay a little bit. It was very, very, very small room and nowhere for me to hide. And I look around for my friends who had done Into the Woods in the summer and they're not there.
And I look around at everyone in the room and to my horror, I don't know a soul. I don't know a single person in this production. And I'm like, I started to get a bit of anxiety, especially because in the theater world, like everybody knows each other and loves each other, right? Everyone else knew each other, it seemed like. And I was just like, ooh, total outcast. The director, his name was Frank, came in. He was a very slender, flamboyant man with a big, brown, bushy mustache. And he explained that the show we were doing is called The Roar of the Grease Paint, The Smell of the Crowd. And...
And that is us, as children in Phoenix, Arizona, in the 90s, we would be putting on this show that was, quote, an examination of the status quo between the upper and lower classes of British society in the 1960s. What? So. OK.
Laura
I was thinking football because of the grease paint.
Shanna
Yeah. OK. Yeah.
Laura
I don't want to derail you. I'm just I'm very confused at what this play is going to be about. So I can't wait to find out.
Shanna
It's it's a musical. It's about like The upper class versus the lower class in Britain, right? I don't even know. I'm like 12. I don't know jack shit. All I know is who's like, you guys are going to be playing street urchins and working class folks and you're definitely going to need to learn cockney accents. I had never heard of cockney in my life. I was like, what am I doing here? I was starting to really feel out of place. And my inferiority was made worse as I really started to take in the cast and crew around me. Our choreographer was a 19 year old girl named TJ with big blonde puffy, permed hair and like pink bike shorts. She totally reminded me of DJ Tanner from Full House, but with like big puffy blonde, permed hair. She was very cool. And she flirted constantly with Todd and Tim, like the hotshot theater high school guys who had signed up for the music camp.
You know, the kind of like guys who are hot in theater terms, like they're not exactly good looking, but they can sing. So everyone like fawns over them and loves them and stuff. They're theater hot.
Laura
They're not a football hot. Yeah, they're theater hot. And I say this as a theater nerd. I mean, like, I'm allowed to say it. These are my people. But yeah.
Yeah.
Shanna
I got it. I knew you would know. I knew you would know what I was talking about. So that's Todd and Tim, right? And the rest of the kids are like high school kids with theater experience. And I was in junior high. I'm like 12, 13 years old. And so I'm the youngest kid and I felt like such an outcast. And just really starting to feel out of my element. And then TJ, the choreographer is like, let's get the lines and start to learn some dance moves. And she's like starting to teach us kickball, change dance steps and box steps. And I, oh my God, it's like growing up, it's a miracle I could. throw a ball or like right cursive. I mean, I do have talents in a lot of areas and dancing is just not one of them. It's a miracle I can roller skate, right? And so I am like tripping over myself. I have no rhythm. I'm not on time at all.
And I'm like just trying to hide at the back of this group, like trying to basically like sink into the wall of old costumes hanging on the edge of the room, like Homer sinking back into the bushes. Oh, it was the worst. I was dying of embarrassment. And then after that, we had to sing a few bars from one of the main character's songs so we could audition for the roles. Like it was already obvious that Todd and Tim were getting like the main roles. Their character names were Sir. That was the high class English guy. And Cocky is the lower class. Guys, are you sure it wasn't Richie and Pory? I know, right? On the nose, a little on the nose there. But there was one part, pretty big part that was still up for grabs. It was like Sir's right hand man or right hand girl, a part named Kid. And so Frank wanted us all to like go up and sing alone in front of everybody a few bars of this song.
This is the first day. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. Throw and write it. Because we only have a couple weeks to put on the show, right? So you just like, you get right to it. And so I'm like, they had given us like a five minute crash course in Cockney, a five minute crash course in this song called Put It in the Book. And
Oh my God, I get up there and I'm like so nervous. Like my throat just like clenches up and I'm trying to sing in this like lower class British accent like play in a book, play in a book.
The road is clutching. I barely croak out some sounds that are like, thank you. I just hang my head and go back to the back of the room. Needless to say, I left rehearsal that day, maybe for the first time in my life, feeling like I'm not good at something. And that did not feel good. Like I did not like that feeling at all, right? I'm a straight A students first chair flautist. I hated it. I hated it. And I begged my parents to let me quit. I'm like, I can't go back. I can't go back there. I don't know if I was honest why I didn't want to go back, you know, because that would have been admitting defeat and admitting embarrassment. I honestly don't remember what I told them, but I was just like, don't let me go back there. And my mom was pretty sympathetic, you know, she's understood my feelings. But she was like, well, let me call the theater and see if we can get a refund.
And I was like, oh, that's right. They paid for this thing, you know? And at that time, it's like, I think it was $150. You know, I know it was $150 because that stuck with me. Like that's a lot of money back then. And I felt like that they had spent a lot of money to put me into this thing. So I started feeling really guilty. I'm like, oh my God. But also I really wanted out of there. And so I waited and waited. And she got off the phone with the director of the theater. And she's like, I'm sorry. They won't give us our money back. Like they, you know, the spots are all filled. The camp started. Yeah. Can't do it. And I was like, oh, God, I'm so sorry. You're going to lose that money. They're like, no, we're not losing that money. You're going back to that camp. You're going to finish that acting camp. Damn straight. I'm like, what? No. Oh my God, I was so humiliated. But I was like 13.
I had no choice, right? Like you do what your parents say. So I drug my feet back into that theater the next rehearsal. and stood in the back. And as the days went on, I shyly did my little box steps and I practiced my cockney accent. And obviously I found out I did not get that lead role of kid someone else did. I know, I know. It's such a shame to not give that role to someone who sings like a- Someone's so promising. Someone's so promising, yes. Um, but, you know, I did find out they wanted me to be in the general chorus and I got to play a chimney sweep. Oh, that's a step up from grass. Yeah, it's a step up from grass. Thank you. A literal step up from grass.
I did not know what a chimney sweep was, but I was glad that I didn't get cast as one of the prostitutes, which went to like the 14 year old girls or whatever.
Laura
In college, I had to play a prostitute in the chorus. Yeah, but I was in college. I guess it's a little better. It was like 19. Yeah.
Shanna
Yeah. I mean, at the time it wasn't weird that these 14 year olds were playing prostitutes, but now looking back, I'm like, geez Louise anyway. Did they use a euphemism because I was like a lady of the night? Yeah, probably like lady of the night or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. But very promiscuous costumes when the time came for the actual show. So I was a chimney sweep, and that gave me a sense of pride. And I continued going to rehearsals and realized that being in the chorus, I mean, you didn't have to really sing out loud alone. So that gave me some confidence. And TJ, the choreographer, turned out to be pretty nice. And she gave me the simplest of dance choreography. Kindly placed me in the back row whenever we did like dancing as a group. That was really nice and started to make friends with everyone and just have a lot of fun.
I got a lot better at singing and dancing obviously as the time went on and I used my studiousness to my advantage. I memorized lyrics and stage movements really fast and like the director realized I was competent kid and like gave me some special things to do as the chimney sweep on stage like little moments that made the audience laugh and stuff. Yeah, before I knew it, I was idolizing TJ and falling in love with Todd and Tim and getting really good at my cockney accents. Oh yeah, so good.
Laura
Yeah. Well, it sounds like you actually enjoyed yourself in the end.
Shanna
I did. I did and by opening night I dare say I was in love with theater. Like I never had so much fun in my life as putting on a live show. The live show was so thrilling. And my family came, they brought me flowers and I felt like a star and I just, I loved it. And it was not lost on me at the time that something great had come out of being forced to stick with something I was uncomfortable with. That lesson was so clear to me right away. And it kind of has stuck with me all of my life. And for years, I've been glad that my parents didn't let me quit that camp. And I'm kind of glad that they didn't get that refund, right? Because I would have never finished that camp, never fallen in love with theater. And I actually went on to do a lot of theater. I was in a lot of productions there. I did a ton of stuff at high school.
I ended up having like leading roles in things in high school with or without a cocky accent. No more cockney accents. I did play a couple of old ladies.
Laura
I love old lady theater makeup. That's like my favorite thing. Oh yeah, they drawn on wrinkles and stuff. It was ridiculous. It looks surprisingly good on stage. Yeah. It's crazy how well it works anyway. Okay, so old ladies without cockney accents.
Shanna
Yeah. And it just became a really, really big part of my life. It's where I developed a lot of my friendships. And I dare say I don't know where I'd be now if I hadn't stuck with this because believe it or not, Steve, Steve Yager, the man I'm now married to, who's the father of my kids, also did shows at TheatreWorks. Like we didn't know each other as junior high kids, right? But I had heard his name around the theater. He was friends with a lot of my friends. And I literally remember the first time I ever saw Steve. in my life ever as like a 13 or 14 year old kid I was in a play with a friend of his and his friend was like oh my buddy Steve's coming to set today and he came and popped in to say hi and I was like hi Steve and like I don't know I Like that was the guy I ended up marrying. It's so crazy to me. And we shared a love of theater.
Like in high school, we did plays together in choir and all this stuff. And I moved out to LA partly to like, you know, get into acting and stuff. And that's where we've got back together as 20 somethings and fell in love. And like, I don't know, I just feel like the rest is history, you know? I mean, yeah, we wouldn't have met probably.
Laura
Yeah. Because you wouldn't have gone to USC for grad school. Probably wouldn't have been in LA. Yeah. This podcast wouldn't exist if your mom had gotten that refund.
Shanna
I know. Oh my gosh. It's so wild to think about. And obviously it really resonates with me as a parent now because often my kids like refuse to want to go to these extracurricular activities I signed them up for. But I know that when they're in class, they're having a great time and learning a lot. Elle is getting so good at karate. She's so strong and focused. And I just have to be like, look, a lesson we learn in life and a lesson I teach you as a parent is commitment. We sign up for something. We pay for something. You do it. You do it. You finish it through. And I'll have obviously some leniency. Like if at the end she's like, I hate karate more than anything in this world. I'm not going to make her continue it. at least, like, fulfill the commitment and see what happens because of it.
Laura
I've heard people say, like, give it a season. Like, if you sign up for a season of a sport and your kids don't want to do it at the end of the season, that's fine. They gave it the season to try, right, which is... I wouldn't know because I can never remember to sign Augie up for anything, but when I do, I will keep that in mind because he is the type to say he wants to do something and then, like, not want to do it later. I don't want to get in the car. Transitions are really hard for him. So, like, all of that is difficult. So, yeah. Yeah, I'll have to take this lesson from your mom as well, because I think we'll need it.
Shanna
Absolutely. My kids need it now. So, yeah, so that's my story. Okay. Real quick, remind me what that play was called? Roar the grease paint smell of the crowd.
Laura
Roar of the grease paint.
Shanna
This has to be on the internet, right? Yeah, yeah. It's like a major musical. Some pretty popular songs came out of it. Really? Oh my God, I can't believe I'm about to sing right now, especially with a sore throat, but it's like, bird in the sky. Do you know how I feel? Do you know this song? Yeah. Like the old classic singers sing that song. I love that song. Feeling good came out of that feeling good.
Laura
Yeah, I guess I shouldn't have made fun of this. This is apparently like a very well-known musical. No, yeah, it's a legit Broadway musical. I believed it was legit, but it's just, wow, I had no idea. All right, well, this just goes to show that my education in theater is theater and not musical theater. I actually have major gaps in musical theater.
Shanna
I just think it's funny that that's what we were doing as 14 and 15-year-olds instead of something like, I don't know, Annie or Charlie Brown. You're a good man, Charlie Brown. It was fun. I liked it. I got to be a chimney sweep. And I'll be sure to share pictures of myself from my first play ever. I'm sure I have some pics of me as a chimney sweep. Oh, yes, please do.
Laura
Okay. Well, that was a wonderful story, and I can't wait to see those pictures. But for now, I think it's time to move on to our BFPs and BFNs. What do you say?
Shanna
Oh, yes.
We are back and we're going to wrap this episode up with our weekly BFPs or BFNs for the week. Laura, you're up first. What do you got for us? I have a BFP.
Laura
All right. It's sort of a dual BFP. We've got a product and an experience that the product made a lot more enjoyable. Oh. So my product BFP is a new stroller wagon that we got. What's a stroller wagon? So it's like a stroller and a wagon. It's a stroller wagon. It's like a combo kind of. Okay. I can't even picture this. Well, let me send you the listing so you can picture it a little better. So the one I got is called the Evenflow Pivot Explorer, all terrain stroller wagon. I just sent you the link. So we actually got this after returning another one. We got the Jeep stroller wagon thing that looks like a Jeep. I don't remember what it's called. But it's Jeep branded and it was just like way too big and really hard to push and it just didn't really work for us. And I did like way too much research and eventually landed on this one.
And it's really cool because like you can push or pull it. I think that's what makes it like a stroller wagon.
Shanna
That's nice because pulling a wagon gets annoying after a while. Yes.
Laura
Yeah. So you can push it, which is what we do most of the time. But then if you need to go over like weird terrain or something, you can flip the handle to go the other way and pull it. It has these canopies. So the way it works is the kids like sit facing each other and they have a little like snack tray between them. And it's awesome because like Sebastian is getting to the age where it's like he doesn't really want to be in a stroller for that long. And Augie's very hit or miss. Like if Sebastian is in a stroller, he wants me in a stroller, right? But if like, it's a jealousy thing, but he doesn't necessarily want to stay in one very long. But when they face each other, they can like talk and play and have their snacks. And it's just, maybe it's just novel right now. I don't know, but they love it. And it's really making our life a lot easier. And that sounds awesome.
And I bought it with my Amazon points. So it was quote free. So yeah. But anyway, the thing that it really helped with this week was that we went to the beach with the grandma's one day. So it goes over sand well. It does. OK. Like it has one big wheel in the back, you know, or two big wheels in the back. But like in the back, there's big wheels and in the front, there's smaller wheels. I wouldn't say it's like a beach wagon but it did okay also we went to seal beach and they've installed these awesome like I don't even know how to like they're not like wooden walkways they're like semi permanent walkways on the sand they're kind of made out of like a mesh.
Shanna
Hmm.
Laura
And it made it so much easier to walk down to the like beach area.
Shanna
Smart.
Laura
Yeah. But I mean, we loaded that thing just packed it full of shit for the beach, but it made it so much easier. And we just carried the kids and Augie ran.
Shanna
Yeah.
Laura
And it would have, it would have been such a pain in the ass without it. So yeah, I'm loving our new stroller wagon.
Shanna
Love it that sounds so cool.
Laura
I wish I would have known about that a couple years ago I feel like it's too like I feel like L is too big for it at this point probably Yeah, it goes up to 55 pounds on either side But I think from like a height and maturity point of view she probably is Mm-hmm.
Shanna
Although she is all about the wagon we do have I mean we have a just ordinary beach wagon and she loves it So but yeah, I like the option to be able to push Two. Yeah.
Laura
And it pushes really nicely. Like it's not as good as a like just a regular old stroller because it's obviously like twice as long, but it does push really easily. Like it has good maneuvering. So I highly recommend it. Cool. I'm going to send you a picture of Augie trying to hitch a ride on the wagon at the beach. So this is a picture of Augie not accepting the fact that we had to put all of our crap in the wagon. He wanted to ride back. Yeah, he's not happy. And then I'm going to send this one picture of Sebastian in the five minutes he kept his sun hat on. He's so cute.
Shanna
Oh my gosh, he's so cute. Oh, we need to get our kids together at the beach one of these days soon. Yes, we do. They love the beach.
Laura
Love, love, love. So that is my BFP for this week. Awesome. Shanna, what do you got?
Shanna
BFP or BFN? Well, I have a BFP. Oh, good. So I have spoken a little bit about swimming at the YMCA. Last week, I talked about signing CECE up for a swimming class that was like for six to 36 months old kids and not realizing she was too old for whatever. But my BFP this week is that I did just like let her start that class. I was like, oh, well, she seems like she's three. So she started her swimming class. We have been going to the pool for recreation swim. Because, you know, we haven't had our membership for like two years at the YMCA because of COVID or whatever. Yeah. And numbers are down. And so I'm like, you know what? Let's go back. Let's go back and swim. And we did that. And it has been so fun. the girls absolutely love it. Cece's doing awesome in her swimming classes. And Elle is in her element because water and swimming is her favorite thing in the whole world.
And it's just a joy. She's such a fish. Yeah. She's such a fish. Yeah. It's like she didn't even forget how to swim basically. Like she jumped back in that pool and was just like swimming around and yeah. It's just been really fun and I love it. I love getting in the water and swimming. The water in that pool is like 94 degrees. It's a therapeutic pool. It's perfect. And it's just a joy to bring something back into our lives that's been missing for the last couple of years.
Laura
Yeah, that's awesome. You know, this is inspiring me to look up what the schedules are at our local YMCA because we have one that's walking distance. The Glendale YMCA is like, I walk by it all the time. Wow, that's awesome. So yeah, maybe I should do that because as I mentioned, like I had tried or I had considered signing Augie up for swim classes at the Rose Bowl. There's like an aquatic center there and apparently like people who were signing in at midnight, it was Coachella tickets, they couldn't get it. Oh my gosh. So I didn't even bother, but that might be a chiller option.
Shanna
Yeah, and it's nice to have it close by, because honestly, taking your kid's swimming is an ordeal anyway, because you got to bring all your stuff and the towels and the showering and the changing. It's such a thing. It might be nice to just go a couple minutes from your house and just do all of that. Just throw everything in the stroller wagon and go exactly and even if you don't get him in a swim class right away just you taking him there and letting him swim around you know before CECE started her actual class I'd taken them a couple times and she wore her like. Paw Patrol water wings vest thingy and was exploring the water and just like really having a great time and ventured to take it off and doing, you know, I can teach her little things here and there too. So, and I'm sure you can with him too, even before he's in a class. Yeah, definitely. Okay.
Laura
You've inspired me. I'm going to look into this and I will check back.
Shanna
But yeah, that's my fun BFP for the week. And I think that's it for our episode, although Laura, you have a five-star review to read, yeah? You know I do.
Laura
All right. OK, this is from Smashly. She says, a must for new moms, five stars. This is my absolute favorite mom podcast, a hilarious judgment-free zone. These ladies are incredible and informative. They got me through my first pregnancy, and now five months postpartum, I look forward to their new episodes every week. Thank you both for all that you do.
Shanna
Well, thank you, Smashley. Thank you so much, Smashley. I really appreciate you taking the time to leave us that review. And listeners, if you would do us a favor and leave us a five-star review at Apple Podcast or wherever you listen to the show, that would be so wonderful and helpful for us to grow our audience, to help new listeners take a chance on a show they've never listened to before. They really, really make a difference. And we so appreciate everyone who's left us a review. And if you do leave us a five-star review, we might read it on an upcoming episode. So head on over and do that. And if there's anything you want to reach out to us about, please do. We love your questions, comments, feedback about the show. Laura, where can everyone reach us?
Laura
We are on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and TikTok at BFB Podcast. We have a website, bigfatpositivepodcast.com. If you want to send us an email, you can always throw a voice memo in there. Just send it to contact at bigfatpositivepodcast.com. And finally, if you want to join a group of amazing folks on the internet, just search Facebook for Big Fat Positive Community. It's a private group, so you have to answer those membership questions to join. And then once you do, and we make sure you're not a robot, you'll be sent straight through to all the really wonderful, supportive, just heartwarming conversations we're having in there.
Shanna
Our show is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thank you so much for listening, everyone. Have a great week. Bye. Bye.