Two Trips to Urgent Care in One Week – Ep. 176
November 15, 2021
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Shanna and Laura both end up in urgent care this week, for very different reasons. Also, in the special segment, “Throwback,” Laura tells a story from her childhood about the one and only time she hit her older brother. Finally they share their BFPs and BFNs for the week. Shanna’s kids are 2.5 and 5 years old, and Laura’s kids are 2.5 years old and 8 months old.
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Episode Transcript
Laura
Welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. This week we have our weekly check-ins, we have our special segment, Throwback, where I tell the story of the one and only time I hit my brother and we close with our BFPs and BFNs. Let's get to it! Hi, everyone. Welcome to the show. This is episode 176. Hi, Shanna. Hey. Hey, hey. So let's get right to it. What have you guys been up to this week? How are your girls?
Shanna
They are good. My main check-in today is about moi. AKA me. Okay. And they are definitely part of it because it kind of all culminates into something that happened on Sunday that I'm going to talk about in a minute. But let me give you just a little bit of a backstory about that. Okay. Okay. Okay. So I mean, just in general, I'm like, blah, overwhelmed, right? Because I work full time. I've got two kids CCs at home all the time because we don't have her in preschool and I do the podcast and it's just kind of a general sense of overwhelm a lot. Your baseline is blah. Yeah, basically. It's real fun. But this week to add on top of it, I had like a five day migraine. Like I get migraines that just won't go away. I think I've talked about those on the show before.
Laura
Yeah.
Shanna
So that's already like, uh, bringing me down. And then I have been having some GI problems. I won't get into it. It's just uncomfortable. Right. And I'm like trying to cut stuff out of my diet. And I'm all mad and frustrated that I have to make these changes, you know, like on top of everything else going on. So that's going on.
Laura
I'm sure a lot of the new parents, new moms can relate to that if they're breastfeeding because so many new moms have to cut out like a million things from their diet if their babies are fussy.
Shanna
Absolutely. And that's part of the reason I was really mad about doing it this time because I had to do it for Elle when I was breastfeeding her and I had to cut stuff out for CeCe. And I thought I was done with that. And I go to the GI doctor. He's like, well, just cut out a little dairy and caffeine and a leave. And I've been proven all these things that I basically live on. I'm like, no. So I'm just feeling mad about that. And then I tried a new sunscreen for my face. I was like, oh, I'm going to get a fancy sunscreen, like a nice one. Apparently I'm allergic to something in the sunscreen because my face and skin have been on fire for days. Oh no. Like burning, burning fire. What irony? Yes, right? The thing that's supposed to protect me from the burning fire that is the sun.
is burning my face. So that's all what I'm feeling and dealing with on Sunday, right? The burning face, the stomach problems, the migraine, et cetera. Face on fire, brain on fire, stomach on fire. Yeah, exactly. Sounds fun. I'm just all on fire, just a dumpster fire, as they say. It's just kidding. I don't like to raggle myself. So I'm out in the backyard, playing with the kids, pushing through all my troubles as I do, trying to have a good time. And I go to enter the house. And in the back of our house, we have huge sliding glass French doors. And outside of the French doors are huge sliding screen doors. They're like solid wood screen doors with like a screen panel inside of them, right? And they've been finicky for a long time now, like they get stuck sometimes and they just have like some troubles.
And so I go up there and just instinctively like shove the screen door pretty hard to try to open it. And I'm so nervous, Sean.
At that particular moment, it wasn't stuck, right? So my heft of the door whipped it off the track and flew down and landed directly on top of my right foot.
Laura
Ouch.
Shanna
Yeah. So I was two steps down from the sliding glass door. So it came down like, you know, it like traveled away down and like that just landed on top of my foot. And I screamed in pain. Like I, the first thought I had was, oh my God, I just broke my fucking foot like on top of this hell week. That's all I could think. I was in so much pain. and Steve came over and grabbed the door from me because it had just completely fallen off and I was just like holding it while it was like slammed on my foot and the girls are like mommy and I must have scared to crap out of them right because I'm like screaming. I took the doorway and I sat down on the step and I was like, oh my God, oh my God, it hurts so bad. And I'm not usually one to cry when I get hurt, but it was the buildup of everything of the week. Like I just felt like nothing was going right.
Like my body kept failing me in all these different ways. And now like I was dumb enough to like break my foot or something, you know? So it just all compounded and I started bawling. I was just so upset. and l came over and she was like mama you're crying i've never seen you cry before you don't cry oh sorry it just hurts so bad and she started crying and like gave me a hug immediately And Cici ran over and gave me a hug. She's like, mama, you need a booboo kiss? And I was like, OK. And she tried to grab my foot. I'm like, oh god, there's a slice across my foot. It's already swelling up. It swelled up to three times the size of my regular foot. She's trying to give me a kiss. And it was so sweet. But I'm like, god, let go of my foot. But they were so sweet the way they reacted. They didn't hesitate to run over instantly and just comfort me and check on me and help me feel better.
And then after Elle did that, she started dancing around, trying to entertain me and make me laugh. She was doing goofy dances. It was just, it was really sucky to have that happen to my foot. But it was really so sweet to see how they handled it and how they reacted and tried to take care of me. And it was really heartwarming in the end. You didn't raise psychopaths. No, not yet at least.
Laura
I think it's like innate for the most part. I think you're fine. I think that window is now closed. You're all set there. But how sweet and also I feel like it's not a given because especially with the two and a half year old You don't know if they are gonna like make situations worse like that You know for all you know she could have just thrown a tantrum at that moment because she didn't know how to Process her feelings about you having feelings and all that stuff So yeah, that's so cool. I mean, it's not cool that you hurt your foot. I assume because you're talking about how you thought it was broken, that it's not actually broken?
Shanna
It's not. I went to urgent care and got X-rays and it's not broken. I was like pretty shocked because this door is huge and it's heavy. It's so heavy. So my foot swelled up to like two or three times the size it normally was. I did have a cut across it. It was so, so painful. The bruise was unbelievable. It was huge and gnarly, and I thought for sure I broke it. But no, no such thing. I just been limping around ever since. Just one more little weird thing to add to my body menagerie of ailments.
Laura
I feel like that's sort of the defining aspect of your 40s. I'm not there yet. I'm 39, right? But I just feel like I'm honorarily there. I just feel like your 40s are just a melange of different ailments one after another. Truly.
Shanna
And I get that. But it's still like allergy to face lotion. Come on. I mean.
Laura
You have sensitive skin, though. You're allergic to grass, and you have this fair, very sensitive skin, so. Yeah, that's true. Teaches you to buy expensive stuff.
Shanna
Oh, I know. I know. It sure does. I'm like, well, I guess I'll go back to my drugstore brand. Oh, well, oh well. Anyway, that's pretty much my week. It's turned out okay in the end, because I do have sweet children who aren't psychopaths, and I feel very proud of that. What about you? How are you guys doing over there?
Laura
Oh, we're doing OK. It's been a little bit of a medical week for us, too. Oh, no. Yeah. I mean, nothing awful, no broken bones either. But what I didn't tell you about our trip to Disneyland last week because we didn't have time and also I wanted to end on a high note was the night after we got back from Disneyland, Augie woke up in the middle of the night yelling, just screaming. And I thought, oh, he's all dysregulated because, you know, we got home super late and he fell asleep in the car and the stroller and, you know, he's just overwhelmed from Disneyland, right? And I go in and he's yelling, I need to pee pee. I need to pee pee. And I was like, oh, okay. honey you can pee pee in your diaper and then he started yelling stop the pee pee stop the pee pee oh no ouch it must have hurt to pee yeah so I was like oh no honey do you have a UTI and I thought back
To that day when we were at Disneyland and we were sort of like passing him around you know from aunt and uncle to grandma to daddy and I wasn't really that involved because I was busy with the baby. And at some point I was like, has anyone changed Augie's diaper? And we were all like, oh shit. Oh no. And we looked and it was just pee. It wasn't poop, but it was like so full. The diaper was just like a big like pillow, like a soaked down pillow hanging from his crotch.
Shanna
And you know he loves Disneyland that much if he's willing to just waddle around with this giant wet pillow between his legs and not say anything. Right? It must have weighed like 10 pounds, right?
Laura
It was crazy. So we felt awful about that. And then of course, when he wakes up in the middle of the night, screaming, stop the peepee, I'm like, oh my God, we gave him a UTI. We're all horrible, horrible parents. Oh, poor guy. I know. So that was a Friday night. So Saturday morning I called my pediatrician because he woke up and it was the same thing. He was like, stop the pee-pee. I don't want to pee-pee. I don't want a potty. And was like clearly holding it back. And when he peed, so like he would wait as long as possible. And then when he would finally have to pee, he'd like scream. He'd like, oh. Yeah, when he peed and I was like, oh, poor guy, like I've had a UTI. You know how bad those hurt. So bad. Those burn, they hurt.
Shanna
Oh, poor guy.
Laura
They hurt. Yeah. So I called his pediatrician when they first opened because they're open like limited hours on Saturdays. So the triage nurse got back to me and we talked and she was like, well, UTIs are less common in boys. We want to give it a chance to clear up so what i want to do is like do some baking soda baths so like take a scoop of baking soda and put it in a warm bath and have them like hang out in there and like keep it clean and dry and just like give it some time and then if it's not better. by the next day, go to urgent care and get it evaluated. And honestly, in my gut, I was like, I should just go to urgent care right now. Like he's screaming when he pees, right? You know, like this is not normal for my son. But I listened to her advice and we did like baking soda baths during the day and we're trying to be all like, you know, wait and see.
But by the late afternoon, it had just gotten worse. Like it was clear that it wasn't getting better. And he was like, panicked about peeing. We went out to the park and hung out with our friends' kids. And like, he was just not himself. He was playing and then he'd stop and like start crying because he felt like he had to pee and all this stuff. So I was like, okay, we're going to go to urgent care. I'll take him. Corey, you do Sebastian's bedtime. Like, this just has to happen. So I took him to urgent care. And it was great. I mean, they're very nice there. We had been there once before for the COVID tests, and they're very nice. And it was pretty empty. But it required him to pee in a cup, right? Oh, no. Hard enough to get a not potty trained two and a half year old to pee in a cup on demand in a strange place when everything's scary. You know what's even harder?
Getting that pee in a cup. Trying to do that when he's afraid to pee and like dances around in pain whenever he has to pee. So it was very hard. We spent an hour sitting around in the raiding room with me holding a cup up to his little penis. Oh, wait, you were in the waiting room doing this? No, I'm sorry, waiting in the exam room. Oh, okay. Not the waiting room. That would have been very inappropriate. No, we were like in an exam room for like an hour while I'm showing him Blippi on my phone and trying to like hypnotize him into it. I was like, think about what it feels like. You can be relaxed. And he was like so stressed out. They gave him a juice box. This is the first time he's ever had apple juice. That didn't work. I tried to put his hand in warm water. That just ended up with water spilled like all over the exam floor. But eventually, he couldn't hold it anymore.
And he let out, I'm not kidding you, four ounces of pee all at once into this cup. Wow. I was afraid it was going to tip over. I was afraid it was going to be too much. But he got a sample and they detected a little bit of like white blood cells and the doctor there said like that was enough to say it was uti. So she gave us a prescription for antibiotics and I'm not going to go into the whole thing was like a whole thing to get them. But we finally got the antibiotics and we started them like in the middle of the night with him. It was supposed to be a five day course. And then two days later, we get an email saying that the urine culture that they sent out came back negative and we need to stop the antibiotics.
And so now we're not even sure if you even had a UTI, but we don't know what the hell could have happened because like a day after starting the antibiotics, he suddenly got better, like instantly. Huh. So it was a kind of a bit of a mystery. Like, I think it must have been a UTI that just, I don't know. Like, I don't know how the culture could have come back negative on an actual UTI, but I just don't see how one day after taking antibiotics, he could be better without it being an UTI. I don't know. It was so weird.
Shanna
Right.
Laura
I mean, could it have been some other kind of infection? Well, there is something called balanitis, which is like an infection of like the glands of the penis. You learn so much when you have boys. But he didn't have any symptoms of that, like sometimes there'll be like redness or like pus coming out or anything, and he didn't have any of that. So I don't know, the doctor and my mom, they both agree that it like sounded like a UTI the way he was behaving. So it was a little bit of a mystery.
Shanna
So did you stop the medication?
Laura
No, we decided to do the whole course. I don't know, that bad.
Shanna
I wouldn't have stopped it either. I mean, if it was helping him and it just seemed that that was correct, I would have done that too.
Laura
Yeah, there were only two doses left and it was sort of like, well, let's just do the whole course. I don't know. Maybe we shouldn't have, but we just decided to keep it going. And the good news is he's much better now, but now he has anxiety. about peeing? Oh, no. Buddy. Yeah. So that might put our potty training plans a little bit back, like push it back, because I was thinking, oh, after Disneyland, there'll be no reason not to try potty training again. Mm-hmm. But now he gets anxious every time he has to pee. Mm-hmm. And he'll like, I'll notice he'll just be like sitting inside here having dinner and then go, and get all scared and I'll be like, honey, do you have to go pee-pee? He goes, oh, oh, oh, oh. And I'll be like, okay, let's take a deep breath. It shouldn't hurt anymore. And then he'll pee and he'll go, that wasn't so bad. That didn't hurt.
Shanna
He's so cute. Oh my God. It's so sad to think of your little guy in such pain and being so afraid of it. But I don't blame them. UTIs fucking hurt. They suck.
Laura
Yeah, they really do. But anyway, that's what was going on with Augie this week, but so we don't end on like a medical weird sad note. I just have to do a quick little update on Sebastian. He is eight months old and his new skill is that he's pulling up to standing. all the time now.
Shanna
All right. That's awesome.
Laura
Like he's done it before. He did it a little while ago, but it was like kind of a fluke. I wasn't able to like get it on camera or anything. But now it's just like he just sort of like Moses on over to whatever he can grab onto and just like pulls to stand. He's like, I'm standing now and he loves it. He fuck you just see it in his eyes. He's like, I fucking love this shit.
Shanna
I love standing up like I get to see things in a whole new way. It must be so exciting for little ones to be like, you're just on the ground all the time and then be able to come up and see from a different perspective. Good for him.
Laura
Yeah. So that is what's going on this week with Sebastian. As far as you can tell, his peas don't hurt. Good. He's standing up. Good, good, good. But anyway, that's it for me this week. Should we take a break and come back with our special segment? Oh, yes.
Shanna
We are back and this week's special segment is Throwback where we tell stories from our own childhood that perhaps inform our parenting now. And we like to split these up so that we each have enough time to tell our grand story from the past. So Laura, you are up first this episode and I will be in the next episode. And I am just dying to hear your throwback story this week. So why don't you take it away? All right.
Laura
So this is the story about the one and only time in my entire life that I hit my brother. One and only? That's it? You heard me right. The one and only time I ever hit my brother. So, you may be wondering, how is that possible? Truly. What is going on with you guys that... You have a sibling that you didn't destroy on a daily basis with hits and kicks and all that stuff. I don't know. I don't know what other stuff because I've heard from my friends who have siblings that violence is fairly normal and common amongst siblings. I don't know. Were you and your brother violent towards each other? Yeah. Hell yeah.
Shanna
Very very vivid memory of him giving me a bloody nose in the park Oh my house and like he had to run home and get my dad because I was just like gushing blood It might have been an accident But we definitely had our moments that I'm like here listening to you talk about this and it's putting CECE to shame because like She just takes her fist and pounds on like every day and I like try to stop it. I don't know what to do. So this is a story that just feels unbelievable. So I'm very interested to hear it.
Laura
Yes. This is the fable of Laura and Jeff who did not hit each other. So it's true. My brother and I did not hit each other. And part of it was because or probably a major reason for it was because my mom engineered us. to be mandatory best friends okay i'm taking notes this is good good and she will admit this like if we got around the podcast right now she would admit it her goal with us was to make sure that we were best friends forever no matter what it took and in her case that took a little bit of brainwashing so. From the time I was a little tiny baby Jeff is just under two years older than me like we're like 21 months apart right and so he wasn't yet to when I was born and so my mom started the brainwashing campaign very early and
When she was actually pregnant with me she would tell my brother that this is your baby like she would say like I'm not giving birth to my baby this is your baby that's coming to like get him hyped up right and so from the time I was born he would call me my baby like Laura's my baby. So sweet. Very sweet. I mean, I get why she did it. It's so cute. And so when I came out, he was like, my baby, and she really reinforced that. And then when I started, you know, being old enough to probably steal his toys and stuff, which probably around the age that Sebastian is now around eight months, I feel like it really starts happening, she started making us like
hug and kiss each other if we ever gotten to even the slightest disagreement right so if I like was a little baby and stole his toy and he was like baby stole my toy instead of just being like well let's each take turns and let's learn to share whatever my mom was like Jeff don't be mad at baby that's your baby and you guys love each other forever. And like she came up with these mantras basically that I still remember from when I was little, where like anytime we'd have any sort of disagreement or like fight, not even really a fight, but like any tension, my mom would like make us hug each other. And then she'd say, who's your best friend in the whole world? And we'd go, I'd go Jeff. And like who will be there when no one else is there for you Jeff who's gonna love you forever Jeff and like we had to recite these things to each other and like mandatory friendship right.
So we knew that that was needed like it was required of us to be friends and. The truth is that brainwashing works really well, Shanna, especially when you start that young. Yeah, I wish I could turn back time already and get going with my girls. Maybe it's too late for me. There's still hope. OK, good. Because as you know, Jeff and I are still like amazing friends to this day, right? Like I was just texting with him and we're really, really close and we've always gotten along, except for this one time, which I'm getting to. But Jeff's always also been a really sweet brother. My mom takes a lot of credit for the brainwashing slash plan to make us friends. But I do think she lucked out because she got Jeff as the older brother. Jeff is just kind-hearted, good-natured, gets along with everyone. He's one of those guys who everyone you went to high school with remembers. Oh, Jeff, yeah.
Jeff's awesome. Like, Jeff used to talk to me when we walked from class A to class B or whatever, you know? And like, everyone remembers him. Meanwhile, they're like, oh, you had a sister? You know?
And I don't remember anyone from high school, but everyone remembers my brother because he's that cool of a guy. So we got lucky because Jeff, by nature, is just a sweet guy. There's a story that my parents have told us that neither of us remember, so grain of salt. But when we were probably like two and four, they said that they overheard me crying or whimpering or something. And Jeff came to me and said, why are you crying, baby? Because he would call me baby. And apparently I said, I scared. And he said, oh, baby, that feeling never go away.
Which is like super deep. He's giving you some hard truths about life. I know. But like in a comforting way, you know, like, I don't know. So anyway, there's that. But he's just always been very nice. Apparently anytime I'd steal his toys, he would just be like, it's OK, baby can have it. This is according to my mom. So yeah, Jeff's always been super nice to me. My mom's rain washing worked. There was one time where he sprayed me in the face with Windex, but he thought it was water. Like, that was like the only time he ever got sent to his room. It's actually the only time any of us got sent to our rooms. Like, we didn't get disciplined, really. We didn't get punishments. Like my mom, I think, stumbled into rye parent cheek in the 80s. Sounds like it. She didn't know about it. She just did it like we didn't have any punishments.
We just like had to learn from our actions and blah, blah, blah. Anyway, so Jeff was never aggressive towards being always sweet. So when I was a kid, I was also super, super attached to my mom, like, To the point where she tried to get me to go to preschool when I was like three, I think. And I went for one day because apparently I cried for like four straight hours for mommy and got picked up. And then she couldn't handle like that happening again, which is another whole story, right? Like for me now, I'd be like, well, and then you go back the next day.
And then the next day and eventually the baby will learn like the world will learn that but no for her She was just very much like Again before her time like with attachment parenting right like she just was very much about like making sure I we felt cared for and loved and wanted to smooth over like any rough patches for us and Yeah, which you know, I think was very of the time as well in the 80s, you know, yeah and So as a compliment to this, she also breastfed me until much later than most of my peers. I believe I was like three and a half when I finally weaned. Oh, okay. So Augie's on track with that, it seems. Yeah, Augie's totally on track. My mom actually makes fun of me now. She's like, oh, see, this is your payback. And I was like, you were the mom. You could have stopped me. Exactly.
And I used to be embarrassed about it because I thought, like, oh, it's so weird that I breastfed so late. And now, of course, I'm like, what? Why does it matter? It's not my fault. And also, like, it's totally normal. If you want to breastfeed till you're five, it's fine. You know, all that stuff. Exactly. Exactly. Everyone should do what they want to do. But my mom also worked more than full time. She was a doctor on all these committees and all this stuff. And so I could only, you know, get my boo-boo time in, I guess, and then evenings and I was very like lonely for her during the day so much so that like my mom thinks the reason I'm kind of a nocturnal person is because she would work all day and then come home and I would like stay up and nurse all night. Okay.
Apparently when I was like two years old at some point my mom was leaving for work and I like came up to her and I was like mommy where you going and she's like oh I need to go to work honey and she's like you know I'm sorry I'm gonna be gone. And my response was, it's okay, I sleep all day.
Which like you knew me in grad school, it was pretty accurate. Yeah, yeah, that tracks. Totally nocturnal. And the other weird thing that I developed from this is that I adopted a somewhat unusual lovey to help comfort me during my mom's absence. And that was her bra. No, you didn't. Yes, I did. This is another fact that I used to be so embarrassed about, Shanna. Like, beyond embarrassed. And it's so funny to me because now I can't even, like, conjure up the feeling of why it was embarrassing to me. You know? Like, it was a bra. I was a kid. It smelled like my mom, you know? Like, that's what my logical adult parent brain now understands. But as a kid, it was kind of like my shameful secret, right?
Shanna
Well, not while it was your lovey, right? Like later when you were a little bit older, looking back on it? Kind of both.
Laura
It was probably my lovey until I was, I don't know, like 11? Shanna, I don't, when do you start going to like overnight sleepovers? Like when does that happen?
Shanna
Yeah, sixth grade or so.
Laura
Yeah. Yeah. That's when I dropped it. I remember thinking like, oh shoot, I can't take this to a sleepover. I should probably stop. But there's pictures of me as like a three-year-old sucking my thumb with the bra hanging off my hand, you know? That's amazing. Lots of pictures of me and the bra. And so it was one particular bra? Or was it interchangeable? Yeah, it was whatever one she had worn the previous day. Oh my god, that's so sweet. Because it smelled like her, right? Right. So this is all the backstory. Alright, we're getting to the point, to the big momentous event, the one time I hit my brother. I was in fourth grade, I want to say. My brother was in fifth grade because we were 20 months apart and he was like old in his class and I was young in my class. We were only one grade apart in school. Okay. Which meant we had a lot of friends in common, right?
And we had a pool and it's hot as fuck in Fresno like all the time. It might have been summer. I don't know. Who knows what time of year it was. We were in California. And our neighbors, Pedram and Pega, were over. Pedram was Jess friend and Pega was my friend and they lived around the corner and they always came over to swim, right? And we had all just like spent the afternoon swimming in the pool and then we were inside the house. And my brother, I think was trying to show off for Pedram because he was a year older, right? He was a class ahead and he was kind of a cool guy. Like Pedram was like, I don't know, like I think he started getting like the bad teen mustache early. Like he was really like, A guide Emily and Jeff really wanted to like be cool with Petrom. He still is. I'm pretty sure he's a doctor now. So everyone was hanging out. We were like in our swimsuits.
I remember this in our like family room and my brother disappears for a second. And then he comes back and he goes, look what I found. And it was the bra. And I saw red. I was just like, all of a sudden I saw that my friends were seeing this bra, which by the way, like they probably thought this was super fucking weird to begin with because like what boy brings out his mom's bra in the middle of. playtime.
True. Okay.
Laura
Which I've never considered until this moment. But all I knew was that he was bringing out my like secret, right? My secret. Right. Shameful lovey. That was like mine. It was very private. And he started saying like, Do you know what Laura does with this or something like that? I don't remember the details because it's all like, you know, in the movies when like everything starts ringing and you hear blood rushing in their ears and they're just mad. It was like that. And I was like, Jeff, give that back, give that back. And he decided it was a game and started running away with it. And our old house, you could run in a circle. So it went like family room, office, living room, dining room, kitchen, the back to the family room, right? You could like do a whole circuit. And we would just run in laps. It was great for kids. I wish I had that now, just like lap running for kids, right?
So he started running laps and he's older than me and taller than me and faster than me. And he was able to stay away from me, right? So he's running in a counterclockwise motion around the house. She's going like, basically doing, you can't catch me. And Pedro and Pega are laughing their heads off. And I'm flipped out like so mad about this and so embarrassed. But one thing I am is smart. And it occurred to me that a circle can go both counter and clockwise. And I turned 180 degrees, put my arm out like straight out from my shoulder, hand completely flat, reared back. And as he came around the corner back in the living room, I just swung my arm full force and then smack dead in the center of his bare chest. Oh no. I'm pretty sure he like fell backwards and fell down. And we were all like in stunned silence because everyone knew that we didn't hit each other, like we didn't fight.
Like it was a thing that was known because we were the weird siblings that liked each other, right? Uh-huh. And then all of a sudden I was like, oh shit, I just like I just hit Jeff and I felt really bad about it. And we both looked down at his chest. Because remember, he's in a swimsuit, right? Swim trunks, no shirt. We looked down at his chest and you could see a perfect hand print of my hand in like raised red swollen on his chest. Oh my God. And like we looked at that and then we looked at each other and we both started laughing so hard.
Shanna
Oh, that's good. I thought you were going to say crying.
Laura
Nope. We both thought it was really funny. He was like, oh, that hurt. And I was like, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hit you that hard. I just was really embarrassed. And meanwhile, Pedro and Pega are like, what the fuck is going on with these guys? Because we're like laughing and apologizing to each other.
Shanna
Uh-huh.
Laura
And yeah, I think I gave him a hug and he apologized for running around with the bra. And I don't think Pedro and Pega even understood what the bra was for. So my secret was safe.
Shanna
I think so. I mean, why would they even make that leap, right? Like, because it's just so unusual to think that someone would use a bra as a lovey. So they probably didn't even know they weren't the wiser. Probably not.
Laura
Yeah. So that is the one and only time in my entire life I've hit my brother. Wow. And you know what? I actually think it was justified.
Shanna
I think so. He was taunting you with something very vulnerable. He was. And that seems out of character for him. So he must have really been trying to show off.
Laura
I think so. I think so. So I texted him about this before we recorded because I was kind of curious like what he remembered about it. And I'll just read you what he wrote. He said, I don't remember what I was saying. Something embarrassing, obviously. And I told him that he was running around with the bra. He said, oh, yeah, I still remember your handprint on my chest.
Shanna
Oh, boy. I love that there was a visual representation of the violence.
Laura
Yeah, I left a mark. And you know, I don't even know if my parents ever learned about this, to be honest.
Shanna
I was going to ask how your mom reacted to this, but she never knew, huh?
Laura
Yeah. If she did know it, there was never any repercussions or talk about it that I can remember. And I think we just sort of settled it ourselves. Mm-hmm. Though, yeah. Like the magical siblings that you are. That's right. That's right. But anyway, Jeff, if you're listening, I love you. And I still think it was the right choice to slap you that one time.
Shanna
So what you're saying is that you're going to give your own kids leeway to slap each other once in their lifetime. Just once. The situation really warrants it. They better not use it too early.
Laura
No. Gotta save that up. Yeah. Yeah. But I do think I do plan on brainwashing my children in the same way my mom did. Like maybe not mandatory hugging and kissing because I feel like we know more about consent these days, but. Making sure that they have a method to like express that they appreciate each other and love each other and reminding them that they are, you know, basically it's the most important relationship of their lives for the most part. I mean, everything's different in nuance, but I really do believe that, you know, when my mom said, you know, your brother's going to be there when no one else is there for you, like, that's true. You know, my parents are getting older and Jeff and I are still such good friends and I wouldn't trade that for the world. So. Thanks for brainwashing me, mom.
Shanna
Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to take some notes from the Susan Winner playbook on this one too and start brainwashing my own kids. Anyway, that is my throwback. Should we take a break and move on to our BFPs and BFNs? Yeah, let's.
Laura
Okay, we are back and we close every show with a Big Fat Positive or a big fat negative from the week. Shanna, what do you have for us? Other than your almost broken foot. I know. I want to know if you have a BFP or a BFN for us this week. I feel like your whole check-in was BFN. I know. Except for the sweet girls.
Shanna
Yeah, it has been a rough week, but I do have a BFP that has snuck in there. So yay. Oh, good. Okay. I'm glad to hear it. So, you know, I have been a work from home mom for years. I started working from home part time when L was six months old, basically, and have Gone back to the office for a while, but then became a work-from-home mom again when CeCe was a baby. So there's been a long stretch of time that I have worked from home without a desk, without an office, with nothing. Like I just basically sit wherever, like on the couch or at the table with my laptop and just do my work. Luckily, I have a job that allows me to do that because I'm a writer and copy editor, so that's easy enough to do. But I now have my very own office and my very own desk at home and I am so excited about it.
Laura
Wait, that's amazing. I know your setup has been super, I don't know, it's not ergonomic. I've been over to your house a bunch, especially pre-pandemic when you were working from home and it's like, ugh, it's like you'd be at the dining table or at the coffee table and it makes my wrist start just thinking about it.
Shanna
Yay. It's not ergonomic at all. So I've mentioned before on the show that we live with Steve's mom half the year, right? She spends the other half of the year up in Minnesota. But this summer actually Steve's mom bought her own house up in Minnesota and that room is now available. Like she'll come and visit and I'll use it as a guest room when she comes and stuff. maybe put an air bed or some kind of fold up couch or something in there for her to sleep on. But I have had free reign of just turning it into my own space. And it is the most magnificent feeling ever. My job gave us a work from home stipend since the pandemic started. So I've kind of been saving that money up. And so I have a bunch of money to just spend on work from home stuff. So I bought a desk and a chair and a lamp and You know, like a, what is it? In a cabinet, a book.
He's like, I bought just everything I need for an office. And it's all really cute. Like I'm buying it from my style, cause I don't have to share the room with anybody, you know? So it's just all, like I got a pink velvet desk chair because I can and it makes me happy. Hell yeah. Yes. Yes. I love it. I wallpapered one of the walls. It's like just so fun. I'm so delighted by the whole thing.
Laura
I need to pick your brain because we want a wallpaper in the boys rooms and I'm a little intimidated.
Shanna
Oh, you should. Where did you get your wallpaper from? I looked at a bunch of different places and I ended up getting a wall mural from Society Six. It was big enough for one wall and it just comes in these big peel and stick strips. They're very unwieldy. It was a pain in the ass to get up. But once I got it up and on the wall and lined up perfectly, It's great. I'm like super happy with it.
Laura
Oh, you'll have to send me pictures.
Shanna
I need to see this. I will. It's still a work in progress. So some things aren't really like set up perfectly yet. Like I want them to be, you know, I'm a perfectionist, but I'll send you some pictures of what I have in there. And you can tell me what you think. Oh, and the little cherry on top. This is so cute. My work had a best desk contest over Slack, because we're all remote, so they're trying to do cute little team building things. And at the last minute, I had finally got my desk set up and stuff, and I was like, oh, I'll take a picture and send it in. And I sent it in, and people voted on it. And they voted my desk the most aesthetically pleasing of all the desks. Yeah. And I won a little prize. I was so happy. Yeah, they did.
Laura
That's awesome. Also, was Jen super mad and jealous?
Shanna
Probably, probably. Jen works with me.
Laura
Yeah, Jen is a close friend of ours and she works with Shanna. Yes, yes. Jen also has really good taste and like very good style, so I bet her death situation is good too.
Shanna
Totally. But I'll send you pictures, but really, you know, it's a BFP because being a work from home parent is hard. And finally, having my own space to do that is really wonderful.
Laura
Oh, that's great. I'm a little jealous. I'm still sharing space with Corey, but I remember at my Silver Lake apartment, I had my own office and I got to do whatever I wanted with it and it had yarn everywhere.
Shanna
Yes, yarn everywhere. That's like the perfect Laura office, absolutely. Well, just get that attic, you know, all stabilized so it doesn't collapse on your son and just set up shop up there.
Yeah.
Shanna
Good plan, good plan. Anyway, alright, so that's me. What about you?
Laura
What do you have for us? I also have a BFP. Woohoo! And my BFP is that we have graduated from the helmet! Yay! That's me clapping.
Yup. So Sebastian had another helmet appointment this week and he scanned in at 3.1 millimeters of asymmetry, which is very small, like a very small amount of asymmetry. Six and over is what they treat in my case, at least. And he started at 12.7. So he's improved a ton. Yeah. And we were left with a choice again. About a month ago, we had the same choice when he was, I think, at like 3.7 or 3.8 or something like that, asymmetry. And it was basically like, you can keep going. It'll keep getting better or you can be done. It's up to you. And you know, I left his helmet on for like the next day and I talked to Corey about it. But we just kind of decided, you know, he started tugging on it a bit more. Like I could tell it was bothering him a little bit more. And it was starting to ride up like he used to sit right above his ears. And now it was like an inch above his ears.
You could tell his head had grown a decent amount. And we just kind of looked at each other and we're like, yeah, I think it's time to be done. Mm-hmm. So we took the helmet off and it stayed off. Yay. And yeah. Here, I'm gonna send you actually a picture of the first and last scans so you can see how much he improved. Oh, okay. Okay, I'm texting it to you. On the left side is his first scan and on the right is his second. There's some weird things. Those are his shoulders. They look like really giant ears, but they're his shoulders.
Shanna
Oh, I see. Oh, wow.
Laura
That really straightened out. Mm-hmm. Yeah, the first one, it's like very flat on the back right side and super twisted. Like there's just like a very asymmetrical head. And then the next one, it's like, you can't really even see any symmetry as far as I'm concerned. No, it doesn't look like anything. Yeah. So he decided he's done. And so he's done. And now the helmet is just sitting on the shelf and I'm trying to figure out what to do with it. Well, just keep it on the shelf. Just like make it a trophy. Well, you know what some people do? Apparently, bill de bears are like the perfect size for them. So like they'll go and like do a bill to bear with their baby and then like stick it on the bill to bear. And that's like the helmet bill to bear.
Shanna
Oh, that's cute. I like that idea, especially since you put so much work into decorating it.
Laura
Yes. Yeah. No, it's definitely not going in the trash. That's for sure. Mm hmm.
Shanna
Well, that's very sweet. Does he seem any different, any freer without it?
Laura
No, I mean, honestly, I'm just like afraid of him getting a really bad head injury at this point because he's pulling up to stand now. And so it's like, oh, great, like he'll just like fall back.
Shanna
Yeah. There won't be anything to protect him. Well, they make those things that are like inflatable head bumpers for babies learning to walk. You could get one of those.
Laura
You know, the one consideration I had when I was like, maybe it's not time to stop is I was like, it does protect his head. Like maybe we should. But Corey made the point, like he's going to have to figure out how to protect his head eventually one way or another. So. Yeah. Yeah. So we decided to take it off, and we're not looking back.
Shanna
And yay, it's a spun. We're done. That's cool. That chapter is ended onto the next, whatever that may be. Onto the next.
Laura
Yeah. And we should be onto the rest of our lives because I think this episode is over.
Shanna
I think so. Let's wrap it up. Listeners, do you have any throwback stories of your own life that you want to share with us? You know we love hearing that stuff, so send them our way. Laura, where can they reach us?
Laura
We're on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok at BFPpodcast. We have a website, bigpatpositivepodcast.com. If you want to send us an email, you can always send a voicemail, just send it to contact at bigpatpositivepodcast.com. And finally, if you want to join a super cool group of people on the internet, just search Facebook for Big Fat Positive Community, request to join, answer the two membership questions, so I know you're not a robot. And then I will send you straight through to all the amazing conversations we're having in there.
Shanna
If you love our show, please rate us and review us wherever you listen to podcasts and spread the word. Let your friends know about BFP. Our show is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thanks for listening, everyone. Have a great week.