Sandifer’s Syndrome, Preschool Nerves and Baby Fever – Ep. 162

Laura: Welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. This week we have our weekly check-in. We have our special segment, GRIPE WATER, where we talk about neck holes and rabbit holes. And we close with our BFPs and BFNs for the week. Let’s get started! Hi, everyone. Welcome to the show. This is episode 162. Hi, Shanna. Hey. Hello, hello, hello. So everyone wants to know how are you doing? What’s your weekly check-in?

Shanna: And how are your little girls? They are doing great. Cece is now two years and seven months. And so she’s just getting older and older. So something kind of big and unexpected happened to me this week that I wanted to talk about.

Laura: Okay. What could that be? I’m on pins and needles.

Shanna: All right. So I’ll start with this. I went to my gym recently with Elle. I signed her up for like a karate class and then they do this thing called open play where kids of all ages can come and use the equipment. It’s like a little indoor gym, basically, right? They have like things the kids can climb on. Like before COVID times, they had like a big ball pit they could jump in ladders, all this stuff. And this open play is kids from like six months old up to like six years old. So L is like definitely the oldest kid in this group, right? Yeah, that’s a wide range. Yeah, really, really wide range. The first thing that happened is I was looking around at all the babies that were in there and I was like, aw, Elle was six months old when I very first took her to my gym. My gym has been a part of our life for like five years now. And just thinking back on those classes and the time I spent with her when she was an infant and The babies in class were so cute crawling around and Elle thought they were adorable and was playing with them and stuff. And then the second thing that happened is this thought. So this thought came over me and it was more than just a thought. It was like a feeling, a sense of knowing that just hit me. I don’t know. All of a sudden I was like, wow, those babies are so cute, but oh my gosh, I’m really glad I don’t have a baby and that I’m out of the baby phase and that I never have to do that ever again. And I was like, wait, what? All the years of baby fever and I’ve like been wanting like a baby or at least a kitten forever and yeah, I love at least a kitten The very least the very least and before having kids I was trying to conceive for years so on some level I’ve had baby fever for Maybe almost a decade of my life. Sure. Yeah Yeah, so it’s a big part of my life and my identity, and it was just gone in an instant. I’m telling you, it just felt different. Ever since that happened, like a week ago, I’ve just felt different. I’m like, yeah, I’m really glad my girls are older now. I don’t want to have another baby. I always knew logically and mentally I wanted to have two kids, but the emotional stuff was still there. The emotional pull to keep hitting that rat lever or whatever. The baby rat shoot needs to keep shooting out babies at us, yeah. Exactly. I wanted that on some gut emotional level. these two parts of myself are in alignment. Like I know that I’m done having kids mentally and emotionally. I’m like there and I feel at peace with the kids that I have. And the thought of having another baby, like the first thing that comes to my mind is like, oh, I would be so stretched thin with the kids I do have. It’s already hard enough to, you know, balance my time between them and everything else in my life. It just I don’t know it’s been different ever since then and I think it’s gonna Maybe I hope it’s gonna make it easier for me to decide what to do with my embryos that I still have frozen at my fertility clinic Yeah, I haven’t gotten there yet, but I don’t know just something is different and I still love babies and the babies were cute and All I want to do is snuggle your baby, but I finally just feel like, okay, this is my family and we’re moving forward and I’m okay with it. Wow.

Laura: I’m a little envious of that, I have to say, because I’m already suffering from baby fever to an extent.

Shanna: You have a

Laura: I have a fucking baby. And I like, and yet I’m like, but he’s getting so big and I’m never going to have a newborn again. You know, assuming things go as planned, I’m never going to have a little newborn again. And I see pictures of little babies that have just been born. I’m like, oh, but they’re just little smooshies. And my guy is like rolling both directions already. And it’s just like, yes. Oh, I forgot to mention that. My God. He’s rolling both directions easily. So it’s only, I think, days, weeks before he’s barrel rolling, right? I’m sure.

Shanna: He’s days away from graduating in high school. I mean, no wonder you want another baby already.

Laura: That’s basically how I feel. I’m like, this child is growing up too fast. I need another baby. So I have to say, when you’re describing that feeling, my feeling was a little envious because I wish I could have that peace. Because I know, like you said, I know I’m logically done with having kids. But my hormones and my emotions and all this stuff are like, have more, have more, have more. More babies. Press that lever. 600 rap babies.

Shanna: Yes, it’s strong. It’s a strong drive. And feeling the difference of how I feel now to how I’ve been feeling for so long, it’s like, oh wow, yeah, that really is a very real and very strong. drive to want more babies. Who knows? I mean, maybe I’ll feel different next week, but it’s different and it’s been persisting ever since we went to my gym, so there you go.

Laura: Well, the other thing is I haven’t been suffering from baby fever as long as you have, because if you recall, I didn’t have it before I had kids. My decision to have Auggie was like a decision that we made logically because we knew we, we knew we wanted kids, but we like, I didn’t feel that like, oh my God, I need to hold a little baby in my arm. I didn’t have that at all until I had him. And then I was like, oh my God, this is the best, you know? Yeah. But I was never that person. I always thought it would kick in. I thought maybe like when I turned 30, it would suddenly happen. But it never ever kicked in for me until I had a baby of my own. So.

Shanna: Mm-hmm. Mine got stronger after having a first baby for sure. Yeah. It was a little more logical, you know, when we were trying for song and was like, okay, I really want a family and blah, blah, blah. But yeah, once Elle was like, I don’t know, probably about six months old, seven months. And I was just like,

SPEAKER_00: Oh my God, need more.

Laura: Well, I’m glad for you though. That sounds like a really great revelation and it just sounds like it’s going to bring peace to your life in a lot of ways.

Shanna: Yeah, I think so. Awesome. I still do very much love the girls that I do have. Cece this week especially is on fire with the sweetness. Oh my God, she is so supportive. Her new thing is cheering everyone on when they’re trying to do something hard. If I’m struggling to open a jar of pickles or something, she’ll be down there standing at my feet like, you can do it. You can do it. And she chants that. And if she does something hard, like take off a cap of a marker that’s stuck or something. She’s like, me can do it. Me can do it. Just really supportive. Oh, and the other thing she’s been doing this week is trying to warm me up when I’m cold, which is really sweet. Because, you know, we’ll go outside and play in the water or the pool or whatever. And, you know, just get a little bit chilly. And she’d be like, mama, are you cold? And I’m like, yeah, I’m a little bit cold. She goes, don’t worry, I can warm you up. Except she says warm, like yarm, because she pronounces all her W’s like wise, which I love so much as cute. She’s like, I can yarm you up. And then she like takes her little breath, you know, she goes, you know, like how you blow hot breath out of your like mouth and your throat. She’s like, she does that. She’ll pick up my hand and go, I can yarn you up. And it does nothing to warm me up, but it warms my heart. So there’s that.

Laura: Very, very sweet. I love helpful toddlers.

Shanna: I know, I know. She really has moments of being helpful. And she loves being a helper. I don’t know if your guy does this, but she’ll be like, I’m a big helper. I can help, I can help, like things she can’t even do. She wants to run the Dyson vacuum all over the house. I’m just like, well, I don’t know if it’s that much of a help, but thank you.

Laura: Yeah, Auggie wants to be a big helper and he really is, but he has high standards for himself. He’s like, what do you mean? He’s like, I want to help. And then like you say, like he wants to use the handheld Dyson or something and it’s heavy. And then like, he’s like, I can do it. I can do it by myself. And I’m like, honey, I don’t think you can. I can do it by myself. And of course he like drops it on the ground.

SPEAKER_00: You’re like, oh, my $600 vacuum. Thanks for your help, honey. Oh man.

Shanna: They are cute. Anyway, all right. So that’s my big week. What about you? How are you guys doing?

Laura: We’re good. So Auggie is two and a half just last week. And Sebastian is five months. Let’s start with Auggie. So, oh, big news. Auggie is now officially enrolled in preschool. Oh, starting in a couple of weeks. Oh, my God, that’s awesome. Which one did you guys go with? We went with the posh one because it was the one that had spots available. And looking at their pricing sheet did give me a mild heart attack. But we are going with it because he got to like watch the virtual tour with us and he was so into it. And then he’s just so excited about it. So he’s actually only starting two days a week.

Shanna: But it is 8.30 to 3.30, which is a pretty full day. So they’re going to have to tackle the nap with him.

Laura: Yes, they’re going to have to tackle that nap. I’m interested to see what happens because I’ve heard daycare can be magical, or daycare in preschool can be magical for getting kids to nap. So fingers crossed, like you said, at home it’s like, we have to have all the white noises just right and we have to make sure maybe truck tunes is playing and it is perfect. GMEs and sleep sack and timing has to be right in there. At school they’re like, okay, get on your cot in probably a bright room and just close your eyes. And they do it. They do it. I don’t know how.

Shanna: The peer pressure, all the little kids lay down at the same time. Yeah.

Laura: It’ll be good. I think it’ll be good. And he’s actually going to be in a classroom that’s age two to four. Oh. So he’s going to be one of the younger kids in the classroom, which I’m really looking forward to because I think that’s good. Whenever we’re at the playground, he really likes to follow the big kids around or bigger kids. And I think that it’ll help him learn more. You know, he really, really likes to emulate other kids. So I think being in a mixed-age class like that will actually be really good for him. So, yeah. So I’m really excited for him to have the experience. I’m excited for a little free time. But I’m also I’m nervous about him being gone for seven hours. Yeah, that’s a big chunk of time. Yeah. And he and he’s been like, attached to me at the hip, you know, forever because the pandemic hit when he had just turned one. So his whole life, he’s been basically with me. So I will see that because of the pandemic, I won’t be able to like walk him in or anything. It’s going to be like just drop him off and walk away. So all that is a little anxiety inducing for me. But not enough to not send him if you know what I mean.

Shanna: Yeah, like we can deal with all that and we’ll get over it because I’m having the same feelings too same the same same with Cece and her preschool that’s starting you know in a few weeks Yeah, yeah, just gotta drop them off and go although I will be volunteering in her room That’s right, but maybe not on the first day the first day is just gonna be like see a kid

Laura: It’s probably good to not be there the first day, right? To let them know that it’s different. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know that there’s a wrong or right way to do it, just is what it is. It is what it is. So that’s starting. And honestly, I think because we chose the most expensive freaking preschool, it’s totally not the most expensive preschool in Southern California. It feels that way after you know doing no child care for so long and then we you know we had nannies but part time and all that stuff that it was it’s one of those things where it’s just like oh so i think i’m gonna have to start working a little bit more like the trade-off of him going to school is that i’m gonna have to make a little bit of money i think i don’t know we’ll see so

Shanna: Well, at least you’ll have some time to do it now.

Laura: Yes, that’s the hope. Yeah, because, you know, Ariel, it’s her second week working as a nanny. And, you know, it’s interesting. It’s going okay. We’re still having trouble where Auggie just doesn’t seem to want to go to her when she arrives in the morning. And I’ve had to have a few little talks with her about, like, you know, trying to change the way things are going, you know, like how she behaves with him. Like, I think they might just be philosophies of parenting, if you will, you know, that we need to sort of work out. But it’s just been a little bit of a rough start. So I haven’t quite gotten the relief from, you know, having a nanny yet. You know what I mean? Oh, that’s too bad. Like, I feel like I’m still kind of supervising.

Shanna: So. And it’s never fun to have to talk Talk to someone about issues like confront someone like how do you even handle that? I’m sure there’s other people out there listeners who maybe have to Handle talking to nannies about problems. How did how have you been doing that?

Laura: Well in a super awkward fashion a lot of like I just wanted to say maybe this like super wishy-washy I keep having to remind myself that even though everyone’s very familiar with each other and it’s a different kind of employment arrangement, it’s still an employment arrangement. I’m still her boss. I do have the authority to ask her to do things differently. She’s been late a couple of times and I had to talk to her about that. I felt like such a middle management boss being like, well, if you’re more than 15 minutes late, I don’t know if we can pay you for the flower, you know, it’s like, it just kills me to do stuff like that. But it’s like, I feel like I have to set some boundaries. So I’m hoping that as she gets a little more ramped up, I’ll be able to like take more time away and hide in the bedroom or something with the baby and try to get some work done. But for now, I’m holding out hope for especially when Auggie’s in preschool two days a week. So at least I know that those days are sewn up. So yeah, so that’s what’s going on with Auggie. Sebastian, so his reflex seems to be getting worse or like, I don’t even know better or worse at this point, like what it even means. Like he’s not spitting up as much and he’s definitely gaining weight. Like the kid is gaining weight so fast. He’s getting these little chunky thighs. Yeah. I found one of those hatch scales from like a mom’s group. Someone was giving it away for free. Do you know what those are? No. So it’s like a Bluetooth enabled scale that you can like weight like baby scale that you can like weigh your babies on and it also has this feature where you can like weigh a feeding. So like you put them on you get a start weight and then you feed them and then you put them back on and it calculates the feeding weight for you.

Shanna: Awesome.

Laura: I mean you could just do two weigh ins and like do the math yourself but you know fancy equipment does it for you. So I snagged that up. I saw they were giving it away for free and I was like, oh, yeah, I want to like know what’s going on with his weight because of his reflux. So, so as of today, he’s just over 15 pounds, 15 pounds, two ounces. And that’s the 17th percentile. All right. He was at the eighth percentile like a month ago. So he’s creeping up on those scales, which is great, which means that these PPI’s are working, right? And his reflex is getting better. But I noticed something this week that kind of freaked me out until I Googled it and also asked my mom about it and realized it wasn’t actually too big of a deal. But have you ever heard of Sandifer’s syndrome? No. Okay. So Sandifer’s syndrome is the arching that babies do when they have reflux, but it’s like a very pronounced version of the arching. Where they like, it usually happens right after they eat and they arch their backs and tilt their heads back in like a very specific way. And I was worried that it was, I don’t know, something really bad. When I talked to my mom though, I realized that they just call it Santa for Syndrome so that pediatricians can distinguish between that and like having a seizure. So, there’s something about the pain of the reflex that causes them to do that movement. But yeah, it was kind of scary. I took a video and sent it to my mom, but she reassured me. But I’m going to talk to my pediatrician about it and see if maybe I should up his PPI dose or something. Because she was tapering it based on his weight. All baby meds are dosed by their weights. And since his weight is going up so fast, I don’t think he’s getting as much as he should. Oh, true.

Shanna: So he’s still arching even though he’s been taking the medication and spitting up less.

Laura: Yeah. But he’s taking the dose for a baby who is six kilos and he’s almost seven kilos now, you know? So maybe that has to do with it. So I put a call into her, hopefully I’ll hear back tomorrow, but he doesn’t seem too bothered by it. Like he’s not screaming out in pain and he’s not actually spitting up his food so much or his breast milk so much, you know? So hopefully it’s not a huge deal, but yeah. But anyway, to not end on a sad weird note with him, I just wanted to mention one really cute thing that’s happening with him, which is his tag obsession phase has begun.

Shanna: Oh, I forgot about the tag obsession. Yeah. The tag obsession phase.

Laura: I noticed it the other day. So for people who haven’t gotten here yet or don’t remember us talking about it earlier, there is some kind of developmental leap that happens. I can’t keep track of Wonder Weeks, but we just went through some kind of leap. And in it, it makes them interested in the details of things. And because of that, you’ll start noticing babies being obsessed with clothing tags. And it’s such a specific thing that it’s impossible to miss once you’re clued into it.

Shanna: Yes. Your girls had that, right? Both of them did. And they were very focused on tags on their toys, like their stuffed toys.

Laura: Yes. Funny you should mention that. So, you know, it’s so funny because you buy them these fancy toys and then they just spend all this time playing with the tag on it. But I did get a video of him playing with a tag. Can I send it to you?

SPEAKER_00: Yeah.

Laura: So in this video, I have this like fancy toy that my mother-in-law got for him. It’s like a fish that has all these little scales and textures and flaps and stuff. And he’s just lying down playing with the tag.

SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, that’s so cute. Yep, he is putting that tag around.

Laura: And you know, I can’t come lane because he’s entertained, so. Yeah. All the tags as far as I’m concerned.

Shanna: Andy’s learning something, right? There’s something about their obsession with that at that age that their brain needs to focus on that kind of stuff. So it’s all good.

Laura: So anyway, that’s been our week. Should we take a little bit of a break and come back with our special segment? Let’s do it.

Shanna: We’re back in this week’s special segment is gripe water. And it’s our opportunity to vent about the things in our parenting lives that are just rubbing us the wrong way. Laura, you’re up first. What’s your first gripe?

Laura: My first gripe is super petty, but it’s like a daily annoyance. And I’m curious whether you have the same problem, which is the necklines on toddler t-shirts are just too fucking small. understand what they’re doing because my kid doesn’t even have a big head. Like, okay, so maybe he has like a slightly larger than average head, but he’s 68th percentile in head circumference. That’s not like gigantic 99 percentile plus. And he’s two and a half. We have him in three T shirts. And every time I get him a new shirt, I try to pull it over his head and it just like gets stuck. on the crown of his head. And it turns into this whole like wrestling match. And of course he thinks it’s hilarious. So he goes running away from me full speed towards like the corners of walls and like trying to kill himself. Oh God. And I’m just like, where did the stretchy necklines of baby hood go? You know? Because Sebastians, they’re all like those Laet style where you can stretch it over his torso if you want and it’s great and so easy. And then I go to put Auggies freaking shirts on and it’s just like built for a Barbie head.

Shanna: I know it’s like the clothing manufacturers specifically are like let’s make the two-year-old phase harder for parents. Yeah. Because dressing kids is already hard enough. Do you have this problem? Some of her clothes are like that for sure. I definitely know the feeling of like trying to put a shirt on her head and she’s already like no no I don’t want to get dressed or whatever and I’m like okay it’s okay I’ll just do it real quick and it’s like like you need to like grease it with some butter or something to get it down their forehead. Yes. Yeah, it’s crazy. They’re not all like that but yeah.

Laura: And then getting it off is even worse because like you’re trying to get ready for bath time or something and bath time has become a bit of a struggle for us lately and it’s like… peeling the skin back as you’re getting it over your forehead. And it gets stuck on their nose. It gets stuck on their nose, their eyelids are peeled open. It’s just like, come on.

Shanna: Well, you could just do all button down shirts and just be very fancy.

Laura: Do all button downs or just like deep Vs. Is there like a style for toddler deep Vs?

SPEAKER_00: Oh my god. That’s too funny.

Laura: Yeah, but yeah, that’s annoying. So yeah, I mean, I feel like that’s a gripe, right? Like look in the grand scheme of things, no one’s going to be writing me a sympathy card for the fact that my shirts are too small for my toddler’s head, but I’m fucking annoyed by it. All right.

SPEAKER_00: All right. All right.

Shanna: You know what annoys me too is Steve always tries to solve this problem by taking the little clothes in his hand and like stretching them, you know, like every which way to increase the size of whatever hole is too small. Like sometimes it’s an arm hole of ankle, you know, it’s a little too tight on their ankle or something. And he’s just like elastic be damned, you know, it’s just like and I just cringe inside. So I’m like, no, like don’t. ruin the clothes, but that’s dumb too because it’s like the clothes aren’t comfortable for the kids. So why not stretch them out and make them more useful? I don’t know.

Laura: Yeah, but then they get it on and their necklines are all wavy. I know. What are the other preschool kids gonna think of us if we send them to school with wavy necklines? Right? I’m sure they don’t have the same problem because they have some perfect solution. Actually, listeners, if you have some perfect solution, as always, I’d love to know, like, is there a brand that I should be buying that I’m not buying? Could be. So anyway, that is my first petty gripe. Sha, what’s your first gripe for us?

Shanna: All right, here’s my gripe. And it actually starts out with the opposite of gripe. An accolade, I guess. As parents nowadays, we have access to so much information that our parents didn’t have growing up. Instagram experts like sharing tips every day, all of our parenting groups, tons of books, like just so much information and that’s awesome. And I’m really grateful for that. My gripe is though that sometimes in all of this information that’s coming at me, I am exposed to things that maybe I wouldn’t have otherwise. And I end up going down like these rabbit holes of research, concern, et cetera. And so I need to find a way to balance the information overload and where to draw the line on paying attention to some stuff. Okay. So I need an example for this for sure. Okay. So recently I came across a post from somewhere that a parent was like, okay, my kid is grinding their teeth and my mother-in-law thinks it’s pinworms. So now I need to look at their anus with a flashlight. And I’m like, hold up. Wait a second.

Laura: Right? I can’t not explore this. Yeah, I don’t understand the connection. But yeah, I would have to. OK, what do you find now?

Shanna: OK. So usually I can scroll by so many things and filter out stuff that’s not relevant to me at the moment. But this is highly relevant to me because I am a lifelong teeth grinder. L has really been grinding her teeth a lot lately like even during the day she will just like grind her teeth and her teeth are getting shorter and stuff I’m like oh my gosh what is this connection with pinworms is there something to it so I the next thing I know I am like spending a good portion of my time doing this research and figuring out, is there really connection? Do I need to worry about this? What is going on? So here’s the thing. OK, pinworms, if you don’t know.

Laura: I know, but I’m sure people want to hear all about them. They’re just a lovely topic.

Shanna: They are, I’m sure. Should I give a content warning?

Laura: Yeah, content warning. We’re about to talk about pinworms, which are worms that live on your body. So if you don’t want to hear about that, don’t, you know, fast forward a minute or two.

Shanna: Yeah. Okay. So from medlineplus.gov, which is maybe the first stop on my journey down the rabbit holes, like I find out pinworms are small parasites that can live in the colon and rectum. You get them when you swallow their eggs. Their eggs hatch inside your intestines. When you sleep, the female pinworms leave the intestines through the anus and lay eggs on nearby skin. So I’m like, oh god, that’s like my skin’s crawling. I’m really grossed out by that. teeth grinding, whereas the connection isn’t figured out yet. I’m like, maybe we all have pinworms. I don’t know. So pinworms spread easily. So now I’m like freaking out. Great. It’s not like a super rare hard to get thing. They spread easily. They can spread their eggs to others directly through hands or through like contaminated clothing, bedding, food, other articles. So basically like anywhere, right? They can live on surfaces for up to two weeks. And so the next site I’d get to is kidshealth.org. And it’s like, they can be found on bed linens, towels, clothing, toilet, bedroom fixtures, food, drinking glasses, like everything, toys, sandboxes.

SPEAKER_00: Oh, sandboxes. Have you ever had one of those? as if I’m not freaked out about my sandbox enough already, right? Oh my God.

Shanna: So to prevent it, right, they’re like, just tell kids not to scratch their butt or bite their nails. I’m like, those are the two things my kids love doing. So now I’m like, this is very close to home. You know, something I didn’t know existed five minutes ago when I was online is now feeling very close to home. And I’m a little bit worried about it. And then this site also tells me that if your child has a pinworm infection, you can see the worms in the anal region, especially if you look about two or three hours after your child has fallen asleep. So now I’m like, so if I want to know if my child has pinworms, I have to creep into her bedroom at 11 o’clock at night with a flashlight and look in her butt. And this is just not anything I needed to know, you know?

Laura: Well, do you know, I don’t know if in your research you found out the tape method of finding out about pinworms. Do you know about that? What’s the tape method? No. Oh, it’s much easier than shining a flashlight into your kid’s butt while they’re sleeping. Does it involve the butt? It still involves the butt. What you do is you take a piece of clear tape, like scotch tape, and you do take it and you put it on the inside wall of their butt, and then you can either look if you have a microscope, you can look at it, or I think you can even just see it with the naked eye. But it still involves the butt, but you don’t have to shine a flashlight into Okay. Better? Worse?

Shanna: I don’t know. Okay. Maybe? I don’t know. I don’t know. I did learn that they look like tiny pieces of white thread and they are small. So here I am with this knowledge and the main thing that got me here was the teeth grinding because we’re a bunch of teeth grinders here. So I’m like, I’ve got to figure out what this connection is. And the CDC website says often a patient will complain of teeth grinding. And I’m like, what? Why? Like what is the connection? So I find this site and I got to read this quote from the site that I next visited on my journey. This is why people grind their teeth at night because parasites inhabit the jaw muscles. Jaw grinding happens primarily at night when parasites are more active. Some parasites lay eggs. The eggs hatch around the time of the full moon. Give or take four days. When they hatch, it makes people act crazy. This is why an observant police officer, teacher, or emergency room doctor will dread full moons. They will be busier. Parasites are the reason why. And then I’m like, what site is this? This does not sound legit. I need to check the site.

Laura: This is raising all kinds of red flags for me. Yes, what is this site? Please tell me.

Shanna: It’s called like vormanhealing.com. I find out it’s a chiropractor in Boulder or something like that. So I’m like, okay, so I can scratch that. But the CDC said that parasites are connected to teeth grinding. So what is going on? And did you ever find anything? Like, is this driving me crazy?

Laura: I know. Is it a full moon? Maybe I have parasites that’s driving me crazy.

Shanna: Get out the scotch tape, honey. Okay. So this is why this is my gripe because I have to navigate all of this stuff to try to find an answer, right? Like that site gave me information about the full moon before the Google result. And I know I don’t have to look at Google results in order, but I get sucked in by like the snippet. Okay.

Laura: You have to go one, then two, then three. Skip the sponsored results, four, five, six.

Shanna: I finally made it down to six. It was a research study from the National Institute of Health. They were doing a study on kindergartners the connection between bruxism, which is teeth grinding and parasites, pinworms specifically. It’s like, okay, there is something to this. And here’s what this study said, quote, bruxism due to intestinal parasites can be attributed to metabolites known as nonspecific proteins, which often have toxic effects and are secreted from the parasite during its various stages of life. such symptoms as nervousness, insomnia, and teeth grinding are typically ascribed to enterobeus vermicularis, which is pinworms. So I ended my journey there, and now I’m left with Do I need to look at her butt? Do I need to call her doctor or is she just grinding teeth because she inherited it from me and we’re both like a little on edge? I just, I don’t know. Here, do me a favor.

Laura: Go Google pinworm symptoms and tell me what like the first two symptoms are. Okay. Because I can tell you I remember having pinworms when I was a little kid. Like, I distinctly remember my mom taking the tape and putting it on my butt and being like, yep, you got pinworms. We got to get you some medicine.

Shanna: Wow.

Laura: Okay. Let’s see.

Shanna: Ironically, this is not a search I did in my journey. Okay. This is healthline.com. What are the symptoms of a pinworm infection? Frequent and strong itching of the anal area, restless sleep due to anal itching. Okay. A lot of anal itching.

Laura: That’s it. That’s all I wanted to hear. Just those first couple ones. Yeah. Are your kids scratching their butts? No. You’re fine. I remember having these pinworms and it itches like hell, like you would not believe.

Shanna: Really? Yeah.

Laura: If they’re not scratching, like what’s the saying? Like if it sounds like a horse, it’s a horse. It’s not a zebra, right? Like just, there’s so many reasons kids grind their teeth and adults. Like you just like reverse engineered it to be the wrong way, right? Like it’s not a zebra. If your kids aren’t scratching their butts, you don’t have pinworms.

Shanna: Okay.

Laura: All right.

Shanna: Well, I could have started with that. I should have just sent you a message and then just ended this whole thing in like two minutes.

Laura: I can see why that’s a gripe because like it sends you down these route holes and you spiral and now you’re worried about something you would have never had to be worried about.

Shanna: Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.

Laura: Yeah.

Shanna: You get me. Thank you. And thank you for letting me vent about it. Of course. I don’t think I will seek medical attention about this unless they get itchy butts.

Laura: Okay. I think that’s a good plan of action. Okay.

Shanna: All right, what about you? Do you have another one for us?

Laura: Yeah, I have another little petty gripe if you don’t mind me sharing.

Shanna: Sure.

Laura: Okay, so you know how pregnancy can really suck a lot of times? Yes. You know, we’ve created a whole podcast where we spend a lot of time talking about that. But one of the major benefits of pregnancy is that you get the pregnancy glow. Do you remember the pregnancy glow? Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. There’s something about the estrogen and progesterone and who knows what else, surging through your body, all those fetal cells with their stem cells. You just like I don’t think this necessarily happens to everyone, but it happened to me both times, which is like my skin just like was luminous and I didn’t have any acne. And I just like every time I caught my reflection in the mirror, I was like, oh, look at that. My skin looks good. Here’s my gripe. The pandemic meant that we had to mask everywhere we went, and I’m happy about that. I love masks. I’m all about wearing masks. When they told us to stop masking, I still masked, and now we’re masking again. So, like, I’m all about the mask. Don’t get me wrong, masks are great. Masks are an easy way to protect everyone around us and ourselves. However, it meant that my pregnancy glow was completely lost on the world.

Shanna: Your bottom face glow. You could still glow from the top half. Yeah, but you know, I have bangs, right?

Laura: So they go down to my eyebrows. And then I wear these like N95 masks that like go from the bridge of my nose up my cheekbone. So we were talking about my like a little strip at my eyes, right? And I’m usually wearing sunglasses because it’s bright and sunny in Los Angeles. Yeah, maybe somebody saw some glow at my temple, but then they were probably worried I had a fever Right. Have you experienced loss of smell? It’s like No, I just want to look radiant. But no, instead, like I cover up my pregnancy glow for my entire pregnancy. And then, you know, just as mask mandates are lessening up. So like, you know, now I feel a little better about not wearing a mask outside occasionally, right? If there’s no one around and blah, blah, blah. No, but now I just look like a sleep deprived, haggard person because I have a young baby.

Shanna: So you lost your glow, is what you’re saying now.

Laura: Oh, the glow is long gone, Shanna. The glow has left the building. For sure.

Shanna: Well, you just got to get pregnant again.

Laura: No, it goes back to that whole discussion we were having before. But I’m sure other listeners had the same problem. And I’m sorry for all y’all who missed out on the glow.

Shanna: And just not going anywhere, period. So who was there even to see the glow? No one. Cory. Cory, did he appreciate it? Did he comment on it all the time?

Laura: I don’t know. No, he didn’t comment on it all the time. He’s probably afraid to make any, like, pregnancy-related comments after, like, hearing what we talk about on the show, you know? Like, he’d be afraid to misstep if he was like, oh, you’re glowing. He’d be like, shh, fuck you, man. I’m not glowing. I’m growing up human and I can’t believe you would objectify me like that. To be fair, that’s not what I would say. But he’s probably trying to be mindful and not comment on my appearance. Yeah, goodbye, pregnancy glow. I got to see you. And we were gonna do like a family photo shoot and then the surge happened and we decided that was even like not safe enough. And oh well. Such a bummer. Such a bummer. Anyway, that is my last petty gripe. Do you have one more for us? I do.

Shanna: Should we take a quick break and then come back with it along with our BFPs and BFNs? Ooh, good idea.

Laura: Okay, we are back and Shanna has one more gripe water for us. Shanna, tell us your petty gripe. All right, here’s my gripe.

Shanna: I’ve thought about this for a long time. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it on the show, so stop me if I have. But it has long bothered me that we put so much emphasis on farm animals with young kids and babies. Right, like every little toy is like a little cow, a little pig, and like books, and like moo, and oink, and blah blah blah. And then they turn like three or four, and they’re like, what am I eating when they look at a piece of bacon? And it’s like, oh that’s a dead pig. Like you have to… tell your kids that if they eat meat, I know some people don’t, we do, you have to tell your kids that what they’re eating is a beloved creature that they’ve grown up just like, idolizing and loving. You don’t have to tell them it’s been slaughtered, obviously, but that’s the idea. Elle figured it out, she’s like, oh, it’s a dead pig. It’s like, yeah, yeah.

Laura: Like when you put it that way, it’s pretty gruesome.

Shanna: Yeah, it is gruesome, but just like the animals we eat in particular, you know, it’s like maybe we could do more emphasis on, I don’t know, farm goats maybe or ducks, but it’s like cows and pigs are so big.

Laura: Goat and duck are pretty delicious.

Shanna: Oh, true. People do eat those. It’s not on the menu rotation in our house, so I guess we make my life easier.

Laura: I mean, maybe it’s a secret plot of the vegetarian establishment to try to get kids to be vegetarians.

Shanna: I wonder how many kids decide they don’t want to eat meat because that upsets them. I’m sure it must happen, right?

Laura: Yeah, well, it makes me think of the classic Simpsons episode where Lisa realizes that pigs are cute and animals, and she goes vegetarian. And for the rest of the series, she’s a vegetarian, so. Really? I don’t know. She might be a vegan now. I don’t know. I stopped watching about 10 years ago. But yeah, there’s a famous episode. And then Paul and Linda McCartney show up at the end of the episode as a cameo, because they are, Linda was and Paul McCartney is famous, either vegetarian or vegan, I think. Definitely not even me. Yeah. I mean, what would your solution be? I really don’t know.

Shanna: It’s hard. Oh, chicken too. Chicken, right? We eat a ton of chicken and chicken is another one of those farm animals that’s in all the bugs and cluck cluck and little chicks and yeah. It’s really hard because I get it. The animals are cute. It’s a good way for kids to start learning sounds and words by saying their sounds, you know, moo and oink. And maybe we can all just collectively agree to stop featuring farm animals in toys and books.

Laura: Good luck with that. I know. Here’s a follow-up question. What did Elle think when she put it together?

Shanna: I was really surprised at how nonchalant she was about it. I have worried about this for a couple of years. Like this thought occurred to me years ago before, you know, she was even really talking. And so I was dreading this moment. And Steve actually had a conversation with her recently where she was putting together the pieces of what bacon is, and it’s like, what’s bacon? And he’s like, oh, that’s pig. And she’s like, pig. He’s like, yep, it’s pig. And she’s like, pig, it’s pig. Bacon is pig. And he’s like, yes, bacon is pig. And she goes, that sounds delicious.

Laura: So she is not disturbed by it, apparently. I think maybe, okay, this is me. This is how I feel, because I have had the same thought too, where like, Auggie will be like, This is chicken, chicken, because, you know, we have euphemisms for everything but chicken, you know, beef, cow is beef, and pig is pork, you’re right? And so there’s some kind of separation there. But chicken is chicken. And that he put together, too. I mean, I don’t know if he really understands the concept of death yet. But, you know, he was like, this is chicken, like chicken. And he pointed out, you know, a book we had nearby with chicken. But I felt that about it. I felt conflicted and guilty because I feel conflicted and guilty about eating meat most of the time. Like it’s definitely one of those things that, yeah, I don’t know, you know, it’s one of those things I’ve wrestled with and I feel like I’ve thought about going vegetarian before. And so I feel like I’m bringing my baggage to it and he just does not care at all.

Shanna: Yeah, I think they ease into it as kids too. Like it is what it is. In their mind, maybe there’s a separation between those pictures in the book and their little toys and the food on their plate. And I think you make a good point with bringing your own baggage to it. I mean, I was a vegetarian for nine years in my 20s. So maybe that’s something I’m a little extra sensitive to. I mean, I’m not anymore, obviously. So I don’t care that much, I guess, but there is that kind of sensitivity there. And I feel like I need to be really far removed from the meat. I eat, you know, like I get weirded out by, If I see the butchering process on TV or whatever, and then these cute little animals, they endear you so much, and it’s like, no, it’s not the same thing.

Laura: Well, maybe it’s your subconscious telling you it’s time to go back to being vegetarian. Maybe. Maybe I should give it a go.

Shanna: Maybe. Hey, I’m not close to the idea at all. I had a fine time being a vegetarian for a while, so anything’s possible. Were you a vegetarian when we first met? I think so. I was a vegetarian probably from the time I was eight, 18 to 28-ish, so that was on the tail end when I knew you.

Laura: I do not remember that at all. Not one bit.

Shanna: That’s okay. All right, so that’s it for me. I feel better having vented about all that. Me too. Yeah, should we move on for BFPs and BFNs?

Laura: I think we should.

Shanna: All right, it’s time for our weekly BFPs and BFNs. Laura, what do you got for us?

Laura: Oh, I have a BF and… Oh, no. What is it? It’s not the end of the world, but I have noticed that… Do you remember when I was post-partum with Auggie, I started getting really bad foot pain? Oh, that does sound familiar, yeah. It sounds familiar to me too, because I have recently started getting foot pain again. Oh, no. Yeah, and I was attributing it to the move and I was like, why am I so achy? Why do my feet hurt when I get out of bed all the time? And then I remembered like, oh my gosh, this was exactly what happened postpartum last time, like about five months in. My feet were just super achy all the time. And yeah, it’s back and it’s really painful and annoying and I think it’s exacerbated by the fact that I’m barefoot at home now on hardwood floors. We decided to go shoe-free in the house during the pandemic, and now I’m just so used to it. We don’t wear shoes indoors anymore. And I know our Canadian listeners are like, yeah, you should. Canadians think Americans are insane for wearing shoes in the house. This is a gross generalization. If you’re Canadian and you wear shoes in the house, my apologies. But all my Canadian family is just baffled by our phenomenon of wearing shoes indoors. And so I think my feet are like extra sore because of that. So yeah, it’s just annoying. And I think I’m going to have to like get house shoes or something.

Shanna: Yeah. I was going to say, what about some kind of memory foam supportive slippers or something?

Laura: Yeah. I’m going to have to get something like that. I’m going to have to like remember to have them by my bedside. You know, I’m going to have to get into a new habit basically of getting used to wearing them, which I’m just bad at new habits, but. But I do remember it really helped to start wearing like really supportive good tennis shoes all the time, last time. So I think I need to like do that. Just get some support on those poor little, poor little footsies.

Shanna: Did you ever figure out what it was last time or did it just go away eventually?

Laura: being sleep deprived and achy like I think it’s a lot of the above but I did talk to a friend of mine Holly who is a physical therapist last time she was a friend from mommy and me class and I remember asking her about it and she was like okay you need to wear like good shoes and and like stretch out the arches of your feet every night and stuff like that so I do remember that helping I think she mentioned getting a tennis ball or a golf ball and like rolling on it so I need to start doing that and But yeah, I think the main thing that helped was just wearing actual supportive shoes. I’m gonna have to get on that and I will report back. Yes, please do. Yeah, but that’s my BFN. Shanna, how about you? Do you have a BFP or a BFN for us? I have a BFP. Oh good. Rocket Apples. What’s a rocket? I don’t know what that is.

Shanna: Well, now you’re going to find out. Like the rocket you sent to space, but it’s spelled R-O-C-K-I-T, rocket apples. And I discovered these at the grocery store recently at the Sprout near me, which is kind of a Whole Foods light kind of type of store. And they are tiny apples. They’re like the size of a mandarin orange, maybe, like really small. And they’re so cute. And that’s why I bought them because I’m totally suckered in by cute things and cute marketing. I was like, oh my God, tiny apples. Well, I need to try tiny apples. Turns out they are perfect for little kids because my kids love eating apples like an adult. Like they want the whole apple and they want to bite into it, right? And we waste so many apples because apples these days are pretty huge, you know, I get like a big apple or a big Fuji apple and they’re tiny little teeth take like four or five bites and they’re like, I’m done. And then like a nasty apple sitting there. And so these rocket apples are perfect.

Laura: Yeah. And you don’t want to finish that like no one wants to finish an apple that’s gotten weird like rabbit teeth bites all over it.

Shanna: Yeah, and left God knows where and like in like in between the cushions on the couch and like it’s all brown now and stuff just like So these are perfect size for them. They fit in the palm of their hand. They can eat, you know, there are a few little bites and the apple’s mostly gone. So it’s fabulous. I love it. And they taste really good. They’re really crunchy and sweet and just super delicious.

Laura: I’m gonna have to look for them. I’ve never noticed rocket apples or even like small little apples, but you’re right. Apples these days are freaking enormous. So big. Like even for me, I’m like, ooh, I don’t know if I can finish this whole apple. And I have an appetite.

Shanna: I hardly ever finish a whole apple. I usually just eat a half and save the rest for later. The rocket apples I’ve seen are sold separately from the rest of the apples. You know, they’re not all just stacked out like for you to grab. They’re kind of in little plastic tubs or like a little cylinder or something like that. They’re like prepackaged in some way. They’re pre-packaged, so you’ll have to kind of just like look around the apple section and see if you can find them.

Laura: But they’re great and I just love them. Awesome. I’m a pink lady or like a honey crisp kind of gal. Those are my go-tos.

Shanna: Those are good. I’m usually Fuji, but there’s so many delicious ones nowadays. Like Envy is really great, Jazz. You can’t do red delicious.

Laura: Red delicious is the opposite of delicious.

Shanna: Right? That’s what we grew up with. No wonder I didn’t care for apples. They’re so good now.

Laura: Mealy and… Yes. Yes. So many other good apples. I love an apple from a farmer’s market like in the fall. So good. Anyway, this is distracting me. Now I want some apples. So are we going to wrap up the show or what? So I can go get some delicious tiny apples.

Shanna: All right, listeners, we want to hear from you. Do you have any gripes that you want to share with us? We love hearing from you. Send them our way. Or anything else you want to let us know about. Laura, where can everyone reach us?

Laura: We’re on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok at BFB Podcast. We have a website, bigfatpositivepodcast.com. If you want to send us an email, you can always throw a voicemail into that email. Just send it to contact at bigfatpositivepodcast.com. Finally, if you want to join a super cool group of people on the internet, search Facebook for big, that positive community request to join because it’s a private group. And please answer the two membership questions so we know you’re not a robot. And then you can go straight on through to the most awesome community of parents, people with TTC and just fans of BFP.

Shanna: If you love our show, please rate and review us wherever you listen to podcasts and spread the word. Let everyone know about BFP. Our show is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko and Steve Yager. Thanks so much for listening, everyone. Have a great week. See you next time. Bye.