Baby Rashes, Vaccines and Bedtime Routines – Ep. 149
May 10, 2021
Listen Now:
Laura reports on her newborn’s 2-month vaccinations and new bedtime routine, and Shanna talks about how her toddler’s potty-training reset has taken a surprising turn. Also, in the special segment “Mom Confessions,” they divulge some of their deepest, darkest, most hilarious mom secrets, as they dive into the topics of coffee, nightmares, pickles and more! Finally, they share their BFPs and BFNs for the week. Shanna’s toddler is 2 years old, and Laura’s toddler is 2 years old. Laura’s baby is 9 weeks old.
This episode’s show notes – https://bigfatpositivepodcast.com/ep-149/ | Get social – Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/bfppodcast/ | Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/groups/bigfatpositivepodcast/ | Email – [email protected] | Our mom-tested ultimate baby registry list – https://bigfatpositivepodcast.com/registry/
Show Notes:
- Preschool Therapy on TikTok Laura loves this TikTok account for it's great advice about raising toddlers.
- "Waffles + Mochi" Official Trailer Shanna loves this adorable kids' show on Netflix starring Michelle Obama and the adorable muppets Waffles and Mochi.
- Mochi Ice Cream Shanna and her girls are wild for Mochi ice cream, which you can buy at Target!
This episode's sponsors:
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Episode Transcript
Shanna
Hi, welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. On this week's episode, we have our weekly check-ins. We have our special segment, Mom Confessions, where we dive into taboo toddler books, mommy malpractice, and more. And we wrap it up with our weekly BFPs and BFNs. Let's get to it. Hi everyone, welcome to the show. This is episode 149. Hi, Laura. Hi, Shanna. How are you doing? What's going on over there? We're actually doing really well. So guess what? What?
Laura
The nanny started this week. Yeah. Hey, that's awesome. Amber, aka Umberger, as Augie likes to call her. And she is fantastic and so amazing. And I just love her so much. And I just already don't know what we did without her. So that's been great. So far, I've just been having them stay close to the house sort of as Augie gets used to her and whatnot. So they'll play in the yard, but it's so great to be like, okay, go in the back and play with Amber while I put baby brother down for a nap and have like 20 minutes to myself. Oh my god, amazing. It is so amazing. So that is a big win this week. So as far as Augie goes, last week I mentioned how we decided or rather he decided to go back into diapers and take to a reset on the potty training. And we have now done a full week back in pull-ups and I have to say it's really taken the edge off the stress level in the house for sure.
So that's been really helpful and what's interesting is he's still pooping in the potty. Like he still wants to go and poop in the potty. So I'm not discouraging that or encouraging and I'm just letting it happen. Trying to let him go with the flow. No pun intended. So this week our struggle is back to naps so they're kind of still hit or miss well thankfully he's napping some right but now I have the problem where it's taking like 60 to 90 minutes sometime to actually fall asleep. Oh, wow. And we leave him in there because he's not like crying the whole time. It's not like he's upset. He'll just be playing around in his crib, singing, whatever. And my thing was we're going to stick to at least two hours of like quiet time in his crib, no matter what. And we've said to him like, you know, it's quiet time. It's rest time. You can nap or you don't have to, but now is rest time.
So we're not going to come back for two hours, right? And that's fine when he doesn't sleep. But when he takes 90 minutes to fall asleep, then we're like, fuck, what do we do? Because then he's like sleeping till 4.30 in the afternoon. It's such a mess. So I think- Does that mess up bedtime and everything else down the line? Yeah, yeah, because he's not tired at 6.30, you know, if he woke up two hours beforehand. So, and of course, like it's hard for me because the last thing I want to do is wake him up and it's kind of a selfish way. Like, I just am so happy he's sleeping. I just want my quiet time. But I think we need to start capping his naps. I think I texted you and was like, do you cap CECE's naps? And you're like, yeah, or maybe we even talked about it on the podcast.
Shanna
I think we talked about it because I'm a firm believer in waking that girl up at three o'clock. even if she's been asleep for 10 minutes? You know, I haven't faced that issue. So I don't know. She usually goes to sleep pretty quickly, knock on wood. But you know, I probably would, even if she did only sleep for 10 minutes, because when I asked you if it messes things up down the line, you said, yes, and that's what I'm afraid of. I'm really selfish about nighttime time to myself. Got it, got it.
Laura
Yeah, I guess right now too, like our nighttimes are so irregular anyway with the newborn, but I'm getting ahead of myself. Okay. That's something I'm going to talk about in a second. But anyway, there's not much to talk about except for I think that I'm going to have to go the Shanna might go route. And I think we're going to do 330 because we do a little bit later bedtime than you anyway. We're like 7, 7, 30. And you guys are a little earlier than that, aren't you?
Shanna
No.
Laura
Oh, never mind.
Shanna
We put her down at 6 p.m.
Laura
I need my me time at night I For some reason I thought you had an earlier bedtime, but I'm just imagining it But yeah, I think I'll do 330 or to be honest I'll probably do like whatever works with the baby's Schedule, you know like cuz if I'm nursing the baby at 330 it's not like I'm gonna be like sorry baby I'm gonna stop you right now so I can go wake up, you know So it doesn't have to be on the dot Yeah, he doesn't know how to read a clock yet. No. So anyway, that's kind of the difficulty this week, but it's not too bad. And I'm just so happy to have Amber helping out. She's helping out in the morning. So she comes at nine from nine to twelve thirty. So that really helps a lot, especially when he naps quote unquote from like he gets into his crib at one. And sometimes he's not out till four thirty.
Shanna
Yeah, it's like you've got a whole day to yourself. You should be writing novels over there.
Laura
Except for I'm watching the monitor the whole time being like, is he going to sleep? Is he not going to sleep? I need to get over that.
Shanna
That's what you get to do with your downtime. Oh, it's so sad.
Laura
Yes, it really is so sad while I'm like dealing with the newborn. Yeah. Speaking of the newborn, he is nine weeks this week and he went and got his two month shots this week. Oh yeah. What are those shots for? I don't even remember. Oh boy. It was three jabs and an oral shot. So the or not shot that would be so sad. An oral vaccination. So it's a the oral one is rotavirus. It was like, I think a happy
Don't even know. Is it sad that I don't even know? Tdap? Dtap? Or Dtap? I think maybe. Maybe a Dtap. They get a lot of those. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They do get a lot of those. So I think it was like a hepatitis. Oh, it was pneumococcal pneumonia, I think is one of them. I should probably know, but you know, I'm tired and I'm not saying no to them. I want him to get all his vaccinations on the schedule. So I'm just like, yeah, sure do it. And I remember very specifically with Augie, when he got his, it was so hard. He cried so much and I like basically cried. I think I was like choking back tears because I felt so awful for him because he was just crying. It was my little brand new little baby. I didn't want him to be hurt, you know?
This time I went by myself with Sebastian because I guess Amber could have watched Augie and Corey could have come with me, but it was Amber's first week and we didn't know if it was quite right to leave her alone at the house. But anyway, blah, blah, blah. I was like, whatever, I'm going. Second time mom, whatever, right? Go by myself. I'm all like, steeled for how sad it's going to make him. He gets his shots and he cried for like two seconds and then was fine.
Shanna
Oh my gosh. Staying true to his nature. He's very consistent baby. Yes, very consistently chill little guy.
Laura
And he was a little cranky the rest of the day and maybe the day after, but nothing too bad. He just wanted to nurse a little bit more. So yeah, the kid is super chill and I'm here for it. Awesome. So the other thing we're trying to do this week, speaking of like how you're protective of your evenings, is that I've started to try to implement a bedtime routine with him.
Shanna
Okay, yeah, I was gonna ask if he goes down at a certain time now.
Laura
Well, we're trying. It's kind of all over the place at the moment because, you know, he's still so little. His schedule isn't real. There's not really a schedule, right? He's he's kind of feeding on demand, and then he sleeps anywhere from 20 minutes to two hours, and then he eats again. And then we just like start all, you know, start the cycle all over again. You know, he'll be awake 60 minutes in between feeding and going to bed. So some days it works out to be like a bedtime at the same time as Augie and sometimes it's like 9 30 bedtime. You know, it's all depends. But I decided regardless, I'm going to like around seven o'clock or whatever, whatever it works around Augie schedule, I'm going to do like an actual routine with him to start setting up a good like good sleep habits, right? Yeah. What are you going to include in your routine?
So it's either a bath or like a wipe down with like a warm, you know, with a washcloth and then baby oil and songs and then going into the snow. So I'm making it really, really simple, but it's like, you know, it's essentially an abbreviated version of what we do with Augie, right? Bath and jammies and some songs and bed, right? And I have to say it's been working. It's been giving us a little time back in the evenings because Up until now, we would just kind of hold him for most of his naps, you know, contact naps or, well, to be fair, it was like my mom was holding, you know, my mom wanted to hold him. So now that my mom's gone, we're trying to sort of get into a routine. And yeah, it hasn't really done anything magical. I think a couple of weeks ago I had like an eight hour stretch in the middle of the night. That has not been repeated, by the way.
Like, I think we got some feedback from listeners being like, I'm so jealous of Laura's baby. It's like, it would happen once guys.
Don't be jealous, quiet. He's chill and he doesn't wake up a ton in the middle of the night. Not nearly as bad as Augie, but he's still a baby. He wakes up anywhere from two to three times at night and needs to nurse and that's fine. But I like the sort of feeling of having a ritual to put him down again. I also, you know, I keep complaining about how like, I feel like he doesn't get the attention that Augie gets, right? And so this kind of gets a little bit of that back. You know, we have a thing we do together. He's not just an afterthought anymore. Yeah. So we're doing that.
Shanna
That's sweet. And it's very cute. And I think it's like the first steps of sleep training is getting the routine going of the bedtime. So you're starting that foundation now.
Laura
Yeah. Yeah. That's the idea. That's the hope. So we'll see what happens. But it is very sweet. It's really fun to sing him songs while putting his baby oil on. He likes his little baby massage. He gets smiley and stuff. So sweet. He's so cute. Oh, but yeah, so that's our week. It's not that dramatic, but we're here. We're trucking along. Yeah, but I want to hear what's going on with you. How old is CECE? What's going on in your world?
Shanna
We are good. CECE is now two years and four months and getting big. And the big news in our house this week is that CECE is now back out of pull-ups and diapers. and back to potty training. We're flip-flopping here. Yes, we are. It was totally unexpected. In my mind, I was like, we're going to just keep this reset going until the summer when it's hot and you can run around naked. And I had no interest in trying potty training again because of how stressful it was the first time around. Totally. Yeah, like you said, it really took the edge off to get her back in pull-ups. It was a relief for everybody. And I just wanted to ride that wave of relief. Well, the other day she got a massive rash on her butt and it was so painful for her like she was screaming and crying and didn't want us to wipe it and you know, oh man it was. it was really hard to see her suffering like that.
And one of the things we would always do whenever our kids would get a rash is run around naked, like out of diapers. Let's not let that thing dry out. And so that was the plan for the day. And I was like, well, I'll just put her little potty back out since she's, you know, running around naked. Maybe she'll use it. And she was like, potty! and just took initiative, went to the potty, every single time she needed to go that day, pee and poop, no accidents. I was like, wow, who is this child? I couldn't believe it. And so I was like, okay, well maybe we'll just keep you out of diapers. So we kept her out of pull-ups and diapers for the next few days, you know, while that rash healed up. And it was a completely different experience.
Then it was the first time around i mean i'm still not totally i'm not completely holding my breath because she did show a lot of initiative in the beginning last time and i went with it and then it all went to hell so it still could go to hell but it's been like five days now and. It's just like, it's like she has decided that this is what she's gonna do and she's taking ownership of it and the other big thing is my attitude toward it. I read in the Oh Crap book after all of my shit hit the fan. that a big thing you need to do is have an attitude of nonchalance about prompting potty you know it's like oh time to use the potty and then kind of walk away like I think she even says literally walk away after you remind the child and make it their choice and I did not do that the first time around I was
on her like a hawk I was so anxious about her having an accident I would remind her every like 10 minutes if I knew it'd been a while you know because I was like a dog it was having an accident she was having accidents I was so uptight and that made it terrible I think for CECE and for everybody so this time for some reason I'm just my dog's in diapers now honestly oh chili yeah chilies and diapers I mean It's not like he's just walking around the house leaking pee, but he's kind of getting older and doesn't know really to go outside. I don't know. No, chili. He's an old dude. He's a sweetheart. He is. He's such a sweetheart, but he's getting old. Oh, it's making me sad. I love chili. I know.
Laura
I love chili, too. Okay, but that's not what this podcast is about. It's not.
Shanna
But it is ironic that like one kid gets out of beloveds and diapers and I put a dog into diapers. So that's an awesome.
Laura
an awesome turn of events. Well, you're like, at least you're only changing one human, or not even a human. You're changing one being's diapers at a time. Yeah. I don't even remember what I was saying at this point. You have a chill attitude towards it.
Shanna
And so she's probably having more success, it sounds like. She's having a lot more success. And we're moving through the stages of the oh crap potty training method a lot faster. Last time she was naked for a long time, but this time we kind of got her into clothes in commando after a day. And after a couple more days, she wanted to wear undies and I was like, okay, because I'm so chill now, like I'm super chill. And I was like, okay. And it just was fine. Like it's been fine. So I don't know, fingers crossed, Laura. I think this time is going to be a lot better for us.
Laura
Nice. Nice. Yeah. In retrospect, I feel like I did not do that either. I was very much on top of him, like reminding when to go potty and prompting and taking him to the potty. And so even though he has the physical ability to do it, I think I jumped the gun on the willingness part. So, yeah. Same. Yeah. Well, that's great though. That's nice to hear. Yeah. Yeah, so that's really great. Because I know you were a little self-conscious about the fact that you had quote unquote, backtracked on that.
Shanna
Yes, I was. I felt really bad. I felt like a failure. But the thing that made me go for it is reading a lot of posts and comments from moms in the oh crap potty training Facebook group, like people who had done the reset. And almost all of them were like, oh my God, it was so worth it the second time around when we took them off the second time. It was so much better. It was like night and day. They got it right away. And I was like, oh my God, that's what I need in my life. I'm hoping we do a reset and then she'll be ready. And it'll just be completely different. And so far it has been.
Laura
Yay. That's exciting. Yay.
Shanna
Yay, CeCe, I'm so proud of her. Oh, that's good. Yeah, I'm really proud of her. And then the other thing, just a couple of little things, little CeCe-isms that I like to report because she's so funny. Here's her new thing this week. Lately, when I've been asking her to do things like, CeCe, come on outside. We're going to go play. She goes, no, thank you. I'm busy.
Oh, excuse me. Excuse me. Oh, okay, okay. But again, I'm like, okay, well, I know where she gets that, you know. I'm always like, I'm sorry, I'll come over in a minute. I'm busy cooking or something. They're little sponges, man. Little sponges. Such sponges. Yesterday, she was in the backyard sitting on the grass, staring into space. That's what she was doing. And I said, Sisi, let's go to the playground. And she goes, no, thank you. I'm busy. Oh, you're so busy staring in the space.
Laura
That's so funny.
Shanna
And then her other cute little thing this week is she has a play, a stethoscope, like a little doctor kit. And she's like, mama, mama, stretch a scope, stretch a scope. And I was like, oh, what do you got there? She's like, stretch a scope. And she's stretching it around, like pulling it tight and like showing me how she can use it to stretch her body. And I was like, oh my god, it's a stretch a scope. That's really cute. Such a cute little misunderstanding. So she's playing with stretch a scopes and busy in the backyard, staring into space.
Laura
So cute. Augie has a little place at the scope that we got from KiwiCo, and he always likes to come up and goes, check mommy's heart. And he like puts it up to my heart and goes, dub dub, dub dub. Aww. Yeah, it's very, very cute. That's so cute. Little pretend doctors. Well, it sounds like you had a really lovely week then, other than the butt rash.
Shanna
Yeah, that was really hard, but it spurred some good changes in our lives, so we're doing well now.
Laura
Very good, very good. Well, I think that we should probably take a break and then come back with our special segment because this is a good one. It's always so fun.
Shanna
Yes, let's do it.
Laura
Okay.
Okay, we are back and we have a very fun special segment this week. It's Mom Confessions.
Shanna
Mom Confessions. Mom Confessions.
Laura
Where Shanna and I try to stump each other with some confessions. We say one true thing and one lie. And we have to decide which one's true and which one's false. So Shanna, do you have a mom confession for me?
Shanna
Yes, I do. Okay, here we go. Okay. Which of the following did I do, Laura? I accidentally broke one of Elle's toys and blamed it on CeCe, or something I did during the day gave my child a nightmare that night.
Laura
Ooh, I'm gonna go with... I'm gonna go with Nightmare, because I feel like you probably wouldn't blame CeCe even though it's a good excuse.
Shanna
That's right. Yeah, no, I wouldn't. I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't want to spur any conflict between the girls.
Laura
Yeah, I feel like even if CECE did break one of Elle's toys, you would like cover for her.
Shanna
Yes, I'd be like, chili did it. Chili totally did it.
Laura
Definitely throwing the dogs under the bus.
Shanna
Yes, yes. Always blame the dogs for everything. Breaking toys and farts, there you go. So, okay, so something I did during the day gave my child a nightmare and I am referring to Elle here because the other day the girls were taking a bath and sometimes I multitask self-care while they're in the bath, I go, trim my nails or paint my toes or something while they're in the bath playing around. And the other day I was like, oh, what can I do? And I dug around in the cabinet and found a sheet mask, you know.
One of those beauty mask face things that are full of peptides. I don't know what's in them. Moisturizers and stuff. And I was like, oh, that'll be fun. And it was something I got for Christmas at my stocking. So this is months after the fact. It's not even relevant to the season anymore. But it's like a Christmas gingerbread face mask.
for some reason I was like oh I'll do this sheet mask uh while the kids and um so I put it on looking in the mirror and I turned around and the girls were like oh my god what is that?
I was like it's a face mask and it's got like designs on it like a lot of them are just like blank white like sheets with eyes and a mouth cut out you know and like a couple of nostrils but this was like that but also had like red candy eyebrows and stuff like that so it really was terrifying so after their initial reaction in the back of my mind I was like oh man maybe I shouldn't have done this like maybe this is actually terrifying and it kind of just kept staring at me like you know how you like play and do your thing, but also like can't stop staring at something like that kind of look. And I was like, oh, no. They were keeping an eye on you.
Laura
They're like, I don't know if I trust you.
Shanna
Yes. I definitely did not look trustworthy. And so that night I'm sleeping. And sure enough, at 2 AM, I feel a tap, tap, tap on my shoulder. And it's L. And she's like, go ahead and nightmare. And I was like, oh no, what was your nightmare? Well, actually, that's not true. I didn't ask her because my way of dealing with nightmares is to not really get into it in the middle of the night. I don't want to make her retell a nightmare if she doesn't want to.
Laura
I'm gonna support that because I'm a person who has extremely, extremely vivid dreams very, very often. I don't know if I've ever talked about it on the show, but I think they're fairly abnormal. I remember all my dreams every night, and it's really bothersome. But for a while, I kept a dream journal thinking it would help, and it made it way worse. like way worse because something about the retelling of the dream like made it stronger in my mind and I would end up having like the same dreams over and over and yeah so I had to like stop doing the dream journal so I feel like your instinct on that is actually for me it would have been better had my parents and like not asked me what my nightmare was because maybe I'd be able to forget it faster.
Shanna
Interesting. That's kind of what I was feeling with her because she does occasionally have nightmares and Steve would sometimes ask what they were about. And I felt like she could easily forget them. You know, she's half tired at the middle of the night. And my purpose for being there isn't to have a conversation about a scary thing. It's to just be there and comfort her. Yeah.
Laura
Yeah.
Shanna
Yeah, so I didn't ask her what it was about and I just went and laid with her for a while and gave her comfort and stuff and it just occurred to me while I was laying with her. I was like, oh my god, it was the gingerbread mask. I got anything because you know, when something slightly disturbing happens to her during the day, that's usually when she ends up having a nightmare at night. I'm like, I freaked her out with that mask. I bet anything. So It's not, there's not a hundred percent proof that it was me, but that's just how I figured out the situation. I really think that that caused her to have a bad dream.
Laura
I think that's a fair assumption. Those things are terrifying, like, but even without the designs on them, and then you add the designs on their way worse.
Shanna
Yes. Yes. It really is bad.
Laura
We do have a classic photo of us wearing those face masks. You remember when you were staying at my house when that when you're like next to our neighbor's house caught fire or whatever the apartment complex. Oh, yes. Yeah. And you were staying at our house and we were like drinking red wine and putting on those face masks. And we look terrifying.
Shanna
We look horrible. It was very terrifying. I think did you post it on Facebook or maybe Steve did? And I was like, Thanks. But it's funny. Maybe we'll post it to our Instagram. I think we're going to have to now. Yeah. Oh my God. So my poor children, I don't think I'll be doing sheet masks in front of them again anytime soon. Anyway, that's mine. What do you have for us?
Laura
Okay. You ready?
Shanna
Mm-hmm. All right. Here it is.
Laura
Speaking of nightmares, did I get my toddler a book about overdosing drug addicts? Or did I get my toddler a book that was a little too detailed about human reproduction?
Shanna
Oh my God. Uh... Sex or drugs, Shanna? Sex or drugs? Sex or drugs? Which one are you introducing to your two-year-old? Well, I get the impression that you accidentally got one of these books that was a little too far. So I have to ask myself, are you trying to teach him about sex or drugs at two? And I could see you trying to teach him about sex early on, just like this is human nature and blah, blah, blah. So I'm going to go with that one.
Laura
That is incorrect, Shanna. What? Yes, I accidentally got my son a book that opens up with a overdosed addict on the first page. Let me tell you why.
Shanna
What in the hell?
Laura
Yeah, that's how I felt about it. So, okay, so I'm in this mom's buy, sell purge group, right, on Facebook where people like sell everything and anything under the sun for super cheap and you pick it up from their porch and it's awesome I've gotten so much like great stuff from it and someone was selling a bunch of kids books and what they do is they'll post like a picture of the book in a comment on Facebook and like there's like a hundred comments and you just claim whatever one you want so I had claimed a couple other books and there was one in the mix like I had claimed like mighty mighty construction site or something and Then the next one was something called good night Keith moon And it looked like a parody of Good Night Moon, and it was mixed in with all the other kids' books. And I thought, oh, my son really loves Good Night Moon.
And he's like super into 80s punk at this point, right?
Shanna
Is Keith Moon someone I'm supposed to know? I mean, I'm terrible at pop culture references.
Laura
Yes. Well, I mean, you don't have to know who he is, but he was Keith Moon. Yes, I do. Tell me. He was the drummer for The Who, for The Rock Band The Who, right? OK. And so I thought, oh, cute. It'll be like a kid's book that is about rock and roll. It'll be great. Something he's very interested in. And I didn't read it because I bought it for $1 from this woman or something. Maybe it was free. And I get all the other books. They're going through them. And this is when my mom was still in town. My mom was like, what's this? And I'm like, I don't know. Oh, it's a parody of Good Night Moon. he might like it because he's really into like the clash and all this rock and roll now. So she opens it up and the first page, you know how on Good Night Moon it's like a spread of the bedroom? You know, it's like the rabbits in his little bedroom and there's all the things around and it's very cute.
It looks just like that except for it's got Keith Moon face down on a hotel bed like overdosed from heroin.
Shanna
Oh my god.
Laura
Or maybe it wasn't heroin. I don't know. He had drugs, right? Mm-hmm. And he was like kind of a notorious drug fiend, right? And he did overdose in a hotel room and died. And it's like, how tasteless, first of all, because he's, you know, he's a person. He's a well-loved person. And like, I don't even remember. I was so disgusted by this book. Like, I don't remember what the rhyme was on the first page. My mom was like, what the hell? How the hell did you get for Augie? And I looked at it and I was like, oh my God. Like, no. Holy shit. It was so bad and so offensive that I threw it in the trash. Like, I wasn't even going to give it to anyone else. But yes, so I got my toddler a book about an overdosed drug addict. It's awful, just awful. So don't get that book. Did you read the rest of it?
I flipped through it and it just, it looks really, it looks really, it looks really mean, you know, like not, I thought if anything was going to be like honoring Keith Moon, right? Right. But instead it was just kind of mean and weird and down, like a big downer. And it's like, why, who, who is the audience for this? Really? Oh, yeah. If you are like a big fan of the who and you see this title and you think, oh, good night, Keith Moon. I'm going to get that. Do not get it. Mm-mm. Do not get it. It will traumatize both you and your toddler.
Oh my goodness. That's crazy. Yeah. It's nuts. But anyway, I think you might have another mom confession for me.
Shanna
Yes. OK. OK. I let CECE eat pickles with every single meal this week. Or I am super lazy about washing my kids. Gosh, that's hard. I'm going to go with pickles. Pickles? She wishes. They really, really, really love pickles and she hasn't asked for them at every meal. If she did, I probably would oblige because why not? Pickles are amazing. But no, the truth is I'm super lazy about washing my kids. And this is one of those where I don't want Steve to hear this because we alternate. Bath night, right? I do the girls one night. They do a sister bath. And then he does it the next night. And I know that Steve does a really good job scrubbing them. He's like, he's thorough. Yeah, he's very thorough.
Scrubs their hair like maybe scrubs too much and on the opposite night I'm like they didn't get that dirty I mean, so I just like put a little soap on my hands kind of like, okay Do-do-do wash your armpits, ba-ba-ba, wash your feet, blah blah blah And then like I'll just like put a little conditioner on the ends of Elle's hair and like call it a day If that if there's like bubbles like if we do a bubble bath forget it. I'm not even gonna wash them down It's just like it's fine. It's fine. It's not like they're rolling in mud or whatever. So I have a very laid back non-slot attitude toward cleaning my kids. And I'm a little embarrassed about that.
Laura
I'm with you on this. I don't know. I feel like, I mean, I don't take a shower every day, not necessarily, right? Yeah. Do they really need a good scrub down every day? Are there people who like never use soap or whatever because they think it's better for their microbiome?
Shanna
Sure, there's all levels of hygiene in the world. I mean, some people bathe their kids like once a week. People in my mom's group have talked about this before, like done a pull, like, how often you wash your kids or whatever, and it's all over the place. But I'm a shower every day kind of person. Occasionally I'll skip it, but it's just I physically feel weird if I don't have a shower. So I might be putting that on my kids like, because you have to bathe every day. I don't know.
Laura
But I also agree that a bubble bath is like a soapy bath. You do not need to add soap to that. There's already a lot of soap in that bath.
Shanna
Exactly. Yeah, they're just bathing in soap and bubbles. So it's okay. But I think Steve wishes I would wash them better, maybe. Sometimes he'll be like, you girls have to have a bath tonight. You didn't have a real one last night. And I'm like, what do you mean a real one?
Laura
So I think he's on to me. Yeah, I think he's figured it out. I don't think this is going to be the big confession you think it is. I know right.
Shanna
It's like no shit, Sean. I've known that since 2016. But yeah, that's it. That's all I've got there. I was here next one. Okay.
Laura
Am I sad that my baby doesn't have cradle cap or am I worried that my baby doesn't spit up enough?
Shanna
Oh, I know this one for sure.
Laura
100%. I think you do.
Shanna
You, Laura, one of your passions in life is taking that tiny baby comb, scraping it through the head of a newborn with flakes and clearing them out. You're so right. So you are sad that your baby does not have cradle cap and I am disturbed.
Laura
I'm so sad.
Why doesn't he have cradle cap? You're supposed to be able to like comb it out of there. Okay, I'm not totally sad. I'm glad that his scalp is fine. He had a little bit when he was like two weeks old and it cleared up super fast and my hobby was taken away from me.
Shanna
What are you gonna do now? Are you gonna fill your time?
Laura
I don't know. It really is so satisfying. I'm sure we have listeners who are on the same wavelength as me. I'm kind of like a picker. I know it's kind of gross. I do enjoy the pimple popping stuff. I know we've talked about that before. And I know you do not agree with me on that. But a baby with cradle cap is just like a goldmine for someone who likes that sort of thing because not only are you like cuddling and caring for your cute little snuggly baby, you also get to like scratch that itch that where you get to like do your maintenance or whatever and you're taking care of them. You're grooming. You're grooming. Yes. Yeah. But my baby doesn't have any. Like why does he hate me?
Shanna
And this baby's just too perfect. I don't know. Clearly he hates you. Yeah.
Laura
Yeah. He doesn't want to give me the satisfaction.
Shanna
I'm sorry. You need to borrow someone else's baby and do this for them. Like you could have done this for my children if they'd had cradle cap for longer than a couple of days.
Laura
Totally. If you have a baby and you don't know what to do with their cradle cap, I'm like fully vaccinated against COVID now. Bring them over. I will scrape that stuff off their head gently.
Shanna
I will never forget when CECE did have cradle cap for really only a couple of days, but you know, I went into Amazon to look stuff up and found the cradle cap comb for sale. And like the user reviews, everyone would like post their photos of their combs full of like the cradle cap skin. And I was just like gagging. It is so, yeah, I'm just so not into it. Sorry.
Laura
This is why we have a good show, because we have differing opinions. Yes, we do. If we agreed on everything, it would be boring.
Oh my gosh, I'm sorry your baby's not delivering for you here. Thank you. Thank you. I guess I'll keep them though. Yeah, you should. You should. Okay, but I think you have another mom confession. But I was thinking, should we take a quick break and then come back with our final mom confessions, one each? Yes, let's do it. Okay.
Okay, we are back and we each have one more mom confession, try to stump the other one with. So, Shanna, tell me what's your next mom confession?
Shanna
All right, here we go. I allowed my toddler to operate my iPhone with her tongue.
Or I told my kids that hamsters don't exist in real life.
Laura
Oh, these are two genius things. Wow. You know, I was thinking like I should test to see if iPhones work when you use your tongue, but that's like so gross already. I'm not even gonna go there and part of me thinks that maybe you wouldn't let her go there. I know you don't like lying to your children, but I can see them begging for a hamster and the only way you can get them to stop is telling them that they're not real. So gosh, this is a hard one. I'm gonna go, oh god, I'm gonna go with hamsters, hamsters.
Shanna
No, no darn it. Oh man, but your logic is so right. Elle has recently discovered hamsters and oh my god, it's like, hey mom, when Chilly and Sasha die can we get a hamster? It's just planning ahead. Oh, she's planning ahead for all the pets we're gonna have when Chile and Sasha die. She always has a caveat. She's like, it's gonna be really sad. I'm gonna be so sad. But then we'll get this hamster, and then we'll get this Shibu-inu dog. And then we'll, and I'm just like, okay, calm down.
Laura
You are totally ending up with a hamster, by the way.
Shanna
No, dude, I don't want a hamster. Hamsters are so cute, and I understand people who want them and love them. But I am just like that sounds like so much work, like a stinky cage. And like, I'm going to end up cleaning it and taking care of it. Oh, I feel like such a curmudgeon even saying that, but it's true. Like I'm like, I don't want a hamster.
Laura
Oh, I don't want a hamster. They're just a burden. They're cute for the kids and a burden for you, but you're going to end up with a hamster. Like mark my words.
Shanna
Damn it.
I guess it's better than a fish, at least.
Laura
Yeah, it's the same reason my mom still has a cockatiel because my brother and I wanted to get a freaking bird. What? And then didn't realize they lived for 30 years.
Shanna
Oh my God. OK, well, at least hamsters only live for two years. But that's part of the problem. I'm like, oh, great. I'm going to get a hamster. It's going to get sick and die. And then I'm like, that's going to be a whole thing. So in my fantasy world, I'm like telling my kids that hamsters don't exist in real life. So that's why I made that up. Like unicorns, I see. Yeah. But I think L is on to the reality of hamsters. I don't think I could pull the wool over her eyes on that one. Anyway, so the truth, yes, I did allow CeCe to operate my phone with her tongue, which
is so gross and the reason I'm really embarrassed by this one because it really is terrible but it was one of those situations where I was working and trying to get something done and she was like begging for my attention and I just like can't put her off right and she discovered my phone sitting there and so she starts like poking around my phone and as kids do like let's experiment and see what else we could do with this and she just like starts licking it and like trying to see if her tongue can make stuff happen you know what they always end up doing because my phone is locked is they end up somehow getting on like the emergency phone oh yeah emergency calls only yes that's the only screen they can access aside from like they can Somehow get into take pictures and so she's just like hitting numbers on the emergency dial pad like with her tongue and I Just didn't stop her.
I made that choice. I was like, she's occupied right now I can finish doing something and I've let it slide, you know, I can I can understand that I've been letting a lot of things slide lately as well because
Laura
What are you going to do? You have to pick your battles and if you know that it's not going to probably not going to hurt her, probably not going to hurt the iPhone. Yeah, what can you do? What can you do? Let them live their lives.
Shanna
Yeah.
Laura
Did you call 911?
Shanna
No, she didn't, but Elle totally did one day. I have no idea how it happened, but I got a call back because they call you back. If you call 911 and hang up on them, I guess they call back. It was a very confusing situation, but I was just like, wait, what? I just called 911. So yeah, there is some danger in letting your kid mess around with the emergency keypad on your phone.
Laura
I guess there is. But yeah, how long has it been? Is she okay? Does she get some kind of massive like gut bacteria in your leg.
Shanna
She's good. She's all good. That was about a month ago herself. Okay. She is fine. Good to hear. Yes. All right. So what's your last mom confession?
Laura
Okay. Here's my last one. Ready?
Shanna
Yes.
Laura
I have recently discovered that my toddler loves coffee. Or I have recently discovered that my toddler loves beer.
Shanna
What? Loves beer, OK. Or loves coffee. My kids love coffee, so I'm going to go with coffee.
Laura
You know what? This is a trick question, because it turns out it's both, Shanna. What? It's both. trick question oh my god okay so please don't call cps on me so the first oh so regarding the coffee I you know was drinking a coffee and all it had was milk in it no sugar and Augie was like Augie have some? And he does this thing now where he mixes up his pronouns where he, like when he's referring to himself, he still says you. So he says, you can have some, like he'll ask for it and then he'll like give himself permission. So he'll be like, Augie have some, you can have some. Okay.
Oh my God. So I was like, well, you know what? One sip of coffee is not going to kill him. It was morning. If it was like before bedtime, it would said no way. And I was like, he'll probably hate it, right? He'll take a sip. He'll hate it because it's bitter, no sugar in it. And then that'll be that. And we won't have to do this every morning from for the next like 10 years, right? So I give him a sip. And by the way, this is a kid. He won't like put vegetables in his mouth. Of course. He doesn't try new food. Like he's not an adventurous eater anymore. He used to be. Now he's like, He likes what he likes and that's it. And don't you dare try to give him broccoli, right? So I was like, no way. No way. Is he going to like this? He takes a sip and then he looks to me and his eyes light up and he goes.
And then he goes, you can have more. You can have more. And I was like, no, you can't have more. And I told him I was like, I thought you weren't going to like this, baby. So now I have to like actively keep my coffee away from him because he likes it so much. By the way, my cat also drinks my coffee. What? Magnus, my old dude. Magnus is like the cat equivalent of chili, right? My like old dude who like putters around. If you leave a cool coffee out to get cold, which I do every day because I have a newborn, he will drink it straight out of the cup. And you come back and you're like, Magnus, what the fuck, man? You're drinking my coffee.
Shanna
Does he give him energy? Does it make him spry?
Laura
I don't think so. I don't think so. I've had to Google if caffeine will kill cats like 10 times at this point. And thankfully, apparently not. So cats are weird. Hilarious, Magnus. Yeah. So that accounts for the coffee. Okay. What about the beer? What in the hell? I feel worse about this. Okay. So I didn't like, you know, my whole like, you probably won't like it. So let me give you a try. I'm not going to do that with beer, right? But I was drinking, Corey and I were both drinking cans of beer at dinner the other night. And Aki was losing his shit probably because he hadn't napped and he was like, I want it. I want it. And I was like, you can't have beer. Like you just can't have beer. I'm not, I can't give you beer. It's alcohol. We're trying to explain. Like it's for grownups, right?
And he said this before, and before I've like put it in glass, like I'd be like, okay, I'm getting rid of the beer. So you're not. So upset about it, because I think he just thinks the can looks cool, right? Yes. So I'll pour it in a glass or whatever. Anyway, this particular night I was drinking a beer. He was like, you can have it? You can have it? I was like, no, no, no, you can't have it. But I had to get up from the table because Sebastian started like waking up from, he was in a nap in the snoo. So I got up, walked to get the baby, came back in. And when I came back into the baby, Corey's looking at his phone and Augie has the beer in his hand and he's taking a sip. No! Oh my god. And I was like, OK, no! You're not allowed that. And he takes a sip and he does the exact same thing. He looks over and his eyes light up and he goes, hmm, you can have more? I was like, no!
Cory was like, oh shit, sorry. He was sending text messages to his writing partner. He was doing work. Oh my god. So we're both responsible because I left the beer right next to him. I should have known better. But what toddler likes the taste of beer?
Shanna
It was like a hoppy lager. Wow, that is an acquired tasting. You sure you didn't drink beer when he was in utero?
Laura
I did not, not this, oh wait, maybe a little bit with him. I think I maybe had like a half a beer once. That doesn't explain it. But not really, I was real uptight about it. I think it's the, he's like a rebel, you know? He knows he's not supposed to have it, so he's like, I like it. So maybe we should start using this for like vegetables, be like, oh no, you can't have these vegetables. Broccoli is only for adults, only for adults. Oh man, that seems like a really like bad parenting move, like from a lying perspective, but it seems like it could work. I might try it with something, maybe like something low stakes that we don't have a lot, like artichokes or something. Artichokes are only for grownups and then see what happens. There you go.
Shanna
But yeah.
Laura
So yeah, that was a gimme for you because they were both true.
Shanna
Yes. All right, well that is too funny. I'm pretty sure Elle has tried wine behind my back. She's very intrigued by wine. Grandma came out to the dinner table the other night with a glass of wine, and Elle pulled it over and stuck her nose in it. She was at a winery, taking a big sniff, and was like, and she goes, that smells great.
Laura
Calm down, please. I smell fruity overtones and some caramel underneath. Yeah, she had a whole flavor profile. I just love the image of Elle relaxing after a long day with a big glass of mollo.
Shanna
Take a load off after all that playing in the sandbox. It feels good to relax.
Laura
Well, now I want a beer and wine would work too, you know, either way. Yeah, sounds good. But should we move on to our BFPs and BFNs instead? Let's do it.
Shanna
Alright, let's move on to our weekly BFPs and BFNs. Laura, you're up first. What do you got for us? Okay, I have a BFP. Okay. Which is Parenting TikTok. Oh, tell me more. You know, I don't know a lot about TikTok, so I need to learn.
Laura
So the thing about TikTok is, and like right now there's all these people who've been using TikTok for like years and are rolling their eyes at my like newfound love of TikTok, but I'm telling you it's fantastic. It's the best way to spend time when you're trying to stay awake nursing. And what happens with TikTok is like the algorithm learns what you like, right? So at first you're flipping through, it'll show you a video and then you flip up and you go to the next video, next video. And what you like and who you follow sort of informs what they start showing you. And you get funneled into these sort of types of TikTok. And I've talked about how I'm really on like cleaning TikTok a lot these days and I've learned all the folding stuff.
Well, I've definitely gotten funneled into parenting TikTok like no question about it, but I've been getting a lot of like really cool snippets of like advice on especially like what to do with toddlers. So the really great thing about it is like they're a minute long generally they're like anywhere from like 15 seconds to a minute long for the most part. And so that you have to get information like really quickly. So there's not a lot of preamble. There's not a lot of excess information. It's just like, let me tell you exactly what you need to know. This one little piece of, you know, parenting hacks or parenting information. And then that's it. And you don't have to like belabor the point.
Shanna
Mm-hmm.
Laura
So there's this guy named Ryan Allen and his username is preschool therapy. And he has like, it's really, really great. I mean, literally everything on here is like preschool tips. But what I saw recently that was really helpful was talking about what language you use to help kids, like with the commands, basically, like things you want them to do, like behaviors you want them to change. changing it from negative language to positive language and how to do it and how to make it like more effective. So an example is if they're climbing on the couch, you don't want them to climb on the couch. Instead of saying, don't climb on the couch, you say, feet on the floor please. So you give them the thing you want them to do as opposed to the thing that you don't want them to do because a lot of times kids don't even hear the don't. So when you're yelling, Don't climb on the table.
Don't climb on the table. All they hear are is climb on the table. Right. And they often won't necessarily even know what the alternative is. So they may want to comply, but they don't know how to, right? So if you say, feet on the floor or I need you to come over here or whatever it is given an alternative is a good tip. Anyway, so just little stuff like that, which is really easy to explain. And when people do it well, they do it really, really well. And I can't tell you how much cool stuff I've picked up and how affirming it is and just how much fun it is to follow. So I highly recommend following some parenting TikTok accounts and getting into that particular siphon.
Shanna
Oh, fun. That sounds great. I really need to beef up my TikTok profile. Well, not my profile, but who I follow. Okay. Because I only follow one person right now. So I need to get on it. Oh, boy.
Laura
Yeah. Yeah. You got to teach that algorithm what you like. Yeah. But yeah, his was preschool therapy. So you can add that. Cool. Yeah. But anyway, that's my BFP. Shanna, do you have a BFP or a BFN for us?
Shanna
I have a BFP. Oh, good. Yeah. It's kind of a double BFP.
Laura
Good. Two times.
Shanna
Two times the fun. Two times the fun. Twin BFP. Yeah. So, okay. So the first part of my BFP is mochi ice cream.
Laura
Oh, I love mochi ice cream.
Shanna
Love, love it. It's so good. If you're not familiar with mochi ice cream, first of all mochi is a Japanese sticky rice dough and what they do with mochi ice cream is kind of pound it out into flat sheets and then put a ball of ice cream in the middle and wrap it up with the mochi dough. And we buy these at Whole Foods or wherever and they are so good and perfect for the kids. It's like this tiny little ball that fits in their hand. It's really yummy and they've really been enjoying them.
Laura
What flavors do you like?
Shanna
Elle loves chocolate. She's a major chocolate fiend. And so we always get her that and then CECE we try to avoid dairy with her. And so the other reason it's my BFP is that there are a lot of vegan flavors that I've found. So we get her like mango sorbet mochi and she really likes it. And it's funny. The first time I gave it to them, it was just so funny and cute to see them figure it out. You know, it's like this cold ball that's in my hand and it's kind of melting. And what do I do with it? But it's delicious and fun. And I've always loved Mochi, but the reason it came into our awareness recently is because of this show on Netflix called Waffles and Mochi. Have you heard of this? I know it exists, but I've never watched it. Okay. So Elle discovered it on Netflix. It's a kids show and it has Michelle Obama in it and these two little Muppets.
One is called Waffles and the other is called Mochi and Mochi is just a little mochi ball. That's what it is. It's so cute that smiles and doesn't talk, but just like me. And. They work in a grocery store, these little muppets, and then they travel around the world to learn about food. And they meet up with famous chefs all over the world and learn about things like tomatoes and salt and sugar. And it's just a wonderful show. I love it so much. And so that got L being like, what is mochi? And I was like, mochi, let me tell you about mochi. And that's why we ordered some mochi so they could try it. And they loved it. So my BFP is mochi ice cream balls, and also the show Waffles and Mochi, because it's a really cute, fun show.
Laura
Man, now I want mochi ice cream. Mm-hmm. But for now, I think that might be our show.
Shanna
I think so. Listeners, do you have any BFPs you want to share with us or any mom confessions we want to hear from you? Laura, where can everyone reach us?
Laura
We are on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook at BFP Podcast. We have a website, BigFatPositivePodcast.com. If you want to send us an email, you can always include a voice memo in that email to contact at BigFatPositivePodcast.com. Finally, if you're on Facebook and you want to join the coolest community of parents, just search BigFatPositiveCommunity. Request to join because it's a private group. If you answer the two membership questions, we will send you straight through and you can join in on the amazing conversations we're having in there.
Shanna
If you love our show, please rate and review us wherever you listen to podcasts and spread the word. Let your friends know about BFP. Our show is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thanks for listening, everyone. Bye. Bye.