False Positive Pregnancy Tests: How They Happen – Ep. 128

Shanna

Hi, welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. On this week's episode, we have our weekly check-ins, we have our special segment, Gripe Water, where we talk about sketchy songs, trimester troubles, and dental dilemmas. And we wrap it up with our weekly BFPs and BFNs. Let's get started. Hey everyone, welcome to episode 128. Hey Laura, how are you?

Laura

I'm doing good.

Shanna

Good. What's going on with you this week? How old is your toddler and how far along are you in pregnancy?

Laura

Okay, so my toddler, he's 22 months in a week and I am 27 weeks pregnant. So yeah, wow, I know. It keeps keeps going on and on and. But you know, like it just keeps going, which is what you want, what you want for until, you know, a point and then you don't want to keep going. But this week. So I think my SPD pain might actually be a little better this week. That's good. Yeah. So my thing is that I've been admonishing myself on this podcast before many times about how I need to take it easy, right? I need to cool down. take it easy on my body and do my little exercises. And I actually have been doing that. I've been really, really careful about how I've been moving, like not trying to balance on one leg ever. Or, you know, you think, oh, when are you balancing on one leg? But it actually comes up a lot in like daily life.

Shanna

Yay. Now, I have a question about SPD or I have a question about like the pain you're feeling during pregnancy. I feel like a lot of women and me included at that time felt general pain like back aches and hip pain while sleeping and lots of stuff like that. Do you experience that too or is SPD like your main thing?

Laura

Yeah, I definitely like my back gets sore, you know, like I get tight like I it feels good to sort of do a lean over, holding onto the table, you know, and stretch it out. And my hips get a little achy, but it's just a different level. Like it's the difference between a little achy and like shooting catch your breath pain. Like, oh, wow. Like, oh, like, if I take one more step, I might permanently injure myself like that. You know how your body like whenever it's you twist an ankle or whatever it is, it's just like really sharp, really, really much worse pain. So yeah, I get I'm getting the aches and pains.

Shanna

Okay, so it kind of overshadows the other stuff.

Laura

Oh, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I definitely would love to be able to like sit in the hot tub, which I can't do because I don't have a hot tub and because I'm pregnant. But you know, for all those other aches and pains and stuff, but this is just it's just a a step above those aches and pains. So yeah, it's a bummer. But this week, like I said, been pretty good. So yeah, knock on wood. I'm going to keep trying to be good about it and not do the thing that I always do, which is the minute things get better, be like, I'm normal again. Let's go, you know, learn to do the cha-cha.

Shanna

Run that marathon.

Laura

Yeah. Okay. Well, that's good. So the other pregnancy related thing I've noticed this week is that I am suddenly tripping over everything. And I was so getting so frustrated. I just I hate when I like and nothing bad, like I've never fallen or anything. But you know, you like you stub your toe on the baby gate or You kick a monster truck toy that's in your way, you know, stuff like that. And I'm just like, I get so frustrated at myself over this. And it definitely disproportionately, I'm just like, God damn it, you know, like.

Shanna

Oh, God. But I'm not even pregnant. And I feel that way about stuff. Oh, yeah, totally. Half the time. So is it because you can't see stuff down there now because your belly is so big?

Laura

Yeah, it took me all week to put that together, Shanna. But you put it together in like two seconds. I was like, what is going on? What? And then I was like, oh, I looked down and I realized like the peripheral vision, you know, you're walking around, you probably glanced down very, you know, casually for a split second while you're walking around, right? My glancing down doesn't really work anymore. There's a big blind spot. So true. So I need to be more conscientious of that. And just it worries me because obviously a fall would be bad. And also a fall while carrying my toddler would be really bad. So I'm now just sort of shuffling around trying to be really careful.

Shanna

So you're not standing on one foot. You're shuffling instead of taking steps. I just want to see video footage of this.

Laura

I mean, I'm sure my Nest Cam has a lot of candids. Probably a lot of candids would be tripping over things, too. Oh, my God. So, yeah, we'd be tripping over here by we, I mean me. So that's the pregnancy stuff. So the toddler stuff, this is actually more like grown-up stuff, but it does tie in. I have big life news, Shanna. Big life news. Are you ready? We upgraded to a king-size bed. Hallelujah. That's so exciting. Why? What's the deal? Well, so we had a queen-size bed. We've been fine with it for the longest time, but all my pillows have been like taking up two-thirds of the bed. Poor Cory. I just felt terrible. that he was stuck with one third of the bed. And I hated our mattress from day one when we got it. We got it about three years ago. And I think we got sweet talked by like this mattress salesman into getting this very, very firm mattress.

Shanna

And you just surrounded my pillows like it's the Rocky Mountain range.

Laura

No, I mean it really was like so. I have my wedge to keep me more upright. I had like three additional pillows on top of the wedge and then I have my U-shaped pregnancy pillow. I mean it looks like I'm smuggling a dead body underneath my side of the bed. So Kory had been nudging like maybe it's time to get a king maybe and I had been putting it off I even asked about it I think in our Halloween bonus episode and we ended up getting a tax refund this year. And which we never get because we're self-employed. And so this year was weird because it was my first year on maternity leave, basically. So I stopped making money. So we got money back. So I was like, OK, great. Let's put that towards a king-size bed. And so we finally did it. We finally got it. We ordered it. And then it's great. OK, so now it's all put together, I should say. It's so comfortable. Oh my god. It's like the best.

Shanna

Well, how perfect to with your upcoming newborn and like all of the nursing at night. That's where I did most of mine. I just hung out in my bed 24 seven. So that's great.

Laura

So it'll be good. But the reason I wanted to talk about it on the show, other than I'm just so happy about it, is that we're still in our pandemic quarantine. We didn't want to go into a store to get anything. So we ordered everything online. We ended up ordering a Helix mattress, which a friend recommended, which is super comfortable. And then we also ordered a headboard and bed frames from another online shop. the logistics of getting an old bed frame and headboard and mattress out of the house, a new one in, all without having to sleep on the couch any of these tights, right? All while having zero childcare during the pandemic, being pregnant, And having a toddler was something else. It was something else because poor Corey basically had to do everything himself.

Shanna

It's such a difficult, multitasking whirlwind. It's like dangerous tools, screws, got to go down the stairs with a heavy mattress. I've got SPD paint. Everything is so tough in that situation.

Laura

Yeah. And I know it sounds silly complaining about like getting a brand new nice bed and everything. I'm very grateful that we have it. It's just the logistics really it really brings home how much more complicated things get when you have a kid, you know, like if We didn't have a kid. First of all, I wouldn't be that worried about bringing someone else in. We'd just be like, wear a mask and, you know, we'll stay in the other room, you know, bring two movers. And but it's just you have to keep the kid out. The kid in the right in the middle of you moving the mattress says peepy boo boo. And you're like, well, OK, hold on.

Shanna

Aw, that's so cute. Oh my gosh, big mattresses are just so thrilling to little kids. Oh my god, it's wild. Yes, I'm glad he's having a good time on that.

Laura

Yeah. So now all he ever wants to do is go into our bedroom and play around on a new bed, new bed. All right.

Shanna

Oh, wait, can I tell you one fun little activity we do on on the mattresses? Yeah, love. So we pretend they're trees and they stand up straight and I like pretend to chop like their shins and go chop, chop, chop, chop, and then they fall back into a big pile of pillows and they just giggle and it's so fun.

Laura

Oh, that is fun. He just wants to go, he goes, flop, flop. He wants me to come in and like throw him onto my pile of pillows. We do the flops. But anyway, that's it with me this week. All right. Good week. Good week. Yeah. Good week. Shanna, what's going on with you? How old is that little toddler of yours?

Shanna

She is 23 months. So she's one month away from being two. This is my last month having a one year old and I'm having all the feels. Oh. So that's on my mind. And you know, Laura, as my toddler has been getting older, I've mentioned having some baby fever. I have been desperate to have a kitten, all that jazz. Yes. Well, I had an interesting experience this week that you actually know about, but I want to Tell the story. Yes, it needs to be shared. Yeah, that kind of relates to this whole thing. So at the beginning of the week, I was not feeling well. I feel like I kind of check in about that occasionally. But this week really did not feel very well. I just had terrible fatigue. I didn't really want to do much. I had a backache, like a lower backache. Just like my boobs were starting to hurt. And I didn't think much of it. You know, it's like those things kind of come and go.

Laura

I think my response to you was like, girl.

Shanna

I know I was just like, oh my God, what do I do? What do I do? What do I do? Like, okay, first thing I do is take a shower. Second thing I do is figure out how to tell Steve because he has definitely not been on the third baby fence right ever. He just has been like two and through, no baby fever on his end. He's completely reluctant to even get in a kitten, you know, which would just satisfy all my needs. So I'm like, how am I going to tell him this? Maybe I won't tell him this. Maybe, obviously, I wanted to take more tests to make sure. But I'm like, how do I get a test immediately in COVID times? Because I'm trying to avoid going into pharmacies, especially. I just don't want to do it. And I think you suggested Instacart send someone else to get me a damn pregnancy test. Like, oh my God.

Laura

That is a long time when you're unsure.

Shanna

Yeah, that was a long time to sit with that information. And I did finally, I was like, well, I can't just keep this for my husband. So I went in, I was like, honey, look at this. And he was like, oh, fuck, what? What? I'm like, I know, oh my god, what is even happening, you know, and then some like, okay, well false positives. I've heard of that and I start looking it up and it's like false positives are extremely rare. Like that's all I kept seeing, you know, false positive extremely rare, extremely rare. I'm like, this is crazy. And my mind immediately went from this is crazy to, OK, well, how are we going to work a third baby in? OK, well, I can put Al and Cece in the same room together with a bunk bed. And the other room can be the nursery. And, oh, man, I feel so bad for Cece. She's going to be a middle child now. And then I'm like, but this is not happening.

Laura

You've gone deep. Because four hours is a long time to dwell on this.

Shanna

Very, very long time. And by the time the order was ready in four hours, I was just completely at peace with having another kid.

Laura

I was so into the idea. You were just going to get all my hand-me-downs for your little boy.

Shanna

Yes, exactly. That was perfect. You know, one of the thoughts that ran through my head was, oh my God, I already gave away all my baby stuff. What am I going to do? Oh, Lord, well, give me hers. It'll be perfect. So they delivered the test. It was the first response was the test and it was the same as the one I had originally taken. And I immediately took it and I checked. I mean, I was so careful about how I did this test because the first one I did was so willy-nilly, right? I mean, I probably held it the wrong way, whatever. This, I read the instructions and I held it the right way and waited the right time. And I flipped it over, and it was decidedly negative, like zero line at all. So I'm like, what? Okay. And a few hours later, I took the other one and it was still negative. And there was three in the pack.

Shanna

So I definitely trusted at this point that it was negative, but Yeah. So confused about how I could have gotten a false positive. So I did order more tests on Amazon just to be sure. You know, I took so many tests.

Laura

As you should. I would not be like, OK with it right now if you didn't follow up with even more tests. As you know. Yes. I'm a big fan of testing.

Shanna

I tried different brands, you know, I just the whole nine yards. And so I'm like, well, you know, I must have just used it wrong or. Was it expired, maybe? I really don't think so because the last time I took one was a few months ago. So this is only a few months old. Yeah.

Laura

There's also the phenomenon of evaporation lines. Do you know about this?

Shanna

I do. But I checked it like one minute after I took the test. And it was weird. It looked like that for the next day because let's be honest, I kept checking it even though it was in the trash can.

Laura

Yeah. Yeah. That's super weird because my understanding is that I once watched a video on exactly how these tests work, and it's actually really pretty interesting. And it's like a chemical reaction, right? So the urine passes through the dye, the chemical bath, right? Trails up, you get that control line that shows that the The dye then binds to the control line, whether or not you have HCG in your urine. And then as it keeps going up, the next line, the dye will only react and bind if you have HCG in your urine. So the false positives are really rare as far as I know. So who knows? Did you Google defective first response or anything?

Shanna

You know, I don't remember if I Google that specifically. I just, I did look up all kinds of iterations of that idea to see if anyone else had that experience. And I just didn't find a lot of information. The one thing I thought could happen is maybe I did have a chemical pregnancy, you know, which like I was pregnant for a minute, you know, or whatever. And then it just didn't stick. And it showed up with a little HCD left in my system. And I was, Fine, accepting that. But then to have so many negative tests right after it was just like, why wouldn't those have picked up on the little bit of HCG still in my system? So I just really, truly think it was a false positive.

Laura

Huh. That is really, really interesting. Well, I'd love to hear from listeners if they've ever actually gotten a false positive, because maybe they're not as uncommon as we thought.

Shanna

Yeah, I don't know. It made me mad kind of for people who take these tests with high hopes, you know, and to, if someone really, really, really was trying to get pregnant, or me back in the day, right, when I was really, really trying and got that, I mean, my heart is breaking right now just thinking about it, like I'm almost getting choked up, like how I would have felt if I had seen that, and then that was not true. You know, it's really hard. Yeah, so I would be curious to know if anyone else has had something like this. And, oh, yeah, I will say the conclusion to the story is if you're still wondering why I felt like shit, I realized that day that I had forgotten to take my psychiatric medication. So my body was probably just like, where's my medicine? Where's my medicine? And making me nauseous and withdrawal kind of. Yes, I think so.

Laura

Well, that explains that.

Shanna

So that explains that, but still the test is some mystery. And I went on a roller coaster of emotions, and now I'm off that roller coaster. So there you go.

Laura

Well, real quick, I want to just ask, since you had like already planned out the nursery and stuff, like, how did you feel when you ended up getting the negative tests?

Shanna

I kind of felt disappointed. I know that in my life right now that a third baby is not necessarily practical. I would not. I don't think I would pursue IVF. I still have some embryos. I don't think I would go to the lengths to get pregnant with a third baby. But there was a part of me that was like, If it was meant to be, it was meant to be. I would accept that child into my life. It would be hard. It would be strange and not what I accepted. But I was kind of into the idea. I love babies. I love my kids. A big family. It sounds exciting. So I mourned that for a little bit. But that was also mixed with some relief because that would be tricky right now. And Steve? Oh, Steve was relieved as shit.

Laura

Well, that is a dramatic week. I think we need to take a quick break and then come back with our special segment.

Shanna

I think we should. Let's do it.

Laura

OK.

Shanna

Oh, I do. I can't wait to talk about it with you. Okay. And see how you feel about this too. Yes. My gripe this week is about a song, a specific song, that I believe is very, very often sung to babies and children. Yeah. I hear it in random kids' playlists, you know, when I kind of just say, play kids' music or play babies' music, it'll come up in rotation. I've heard it a lot as a built-in tune in toys, you know, musical toys. It's just the tune without the words, but it is the tune. And it's not that I hate the song. I really like the tune and I have no problem with that. I don't like that this particular song is geared towards babies and children because I think it's very inappropriate and I don't understand why no one has figured it out yet. I'm at the edge of my seat. What song is this? You are my sunshine. Oh. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.

Laura

Yeah, I have to say I don't really think I know many of the lyrics. Right? Yeah. Here, can I tell you what I think I know, just the next two lines? Mm-hmm. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away.

Shanna

Exactly, and I hate that line. Okay, that's the one.

Laura

That does suck. I hate it.

Shanna

Yeah. That's what made me go down this rabbit hole because I would sing it, you know, it'd get in my head because it's in her little toy and I would sing it. And then I'd be like, don't take my sunshine away. I'm like, why am I putting that pressure on my baby to make me happy? Okay. I don't think that's right. I think it's like slightly codependent. It always just did not sit with me well. And so I'm like, what is this song?

Laura

And it's also you are my sunshine, my only sunshine. Yes. The only thing that brings me light in my life. Yeah, I get it. I get it. I share. I share in the scrape.

Shanna

OK, good. Good, good, good. And, you know, it's an adult song. I'm pretty sure it's written about a lover. And that's fine. Some songs, like some love songs, really can translate to your babies and kids. I don't think this one can. All toy manufacturers need to stop putting it in their toys. Here's some of the verse. I don't really know how it goes. I'm just going to read the lyrics of these verses. I'll always love you and make you happy if you will only say the same. But if you leave me and love another, you'll regret it all someday.

Laura

Yikes.

Shanna

Okay, here's the other one. You told me once, dear, you really loved me and no one else could come between. But now you've left me and love another. You have shattered all my dreams. Wow.

Laura

It's just... Yeah, I mean... Okay, so I was in a relationship with an emotionally manipulative and abusive narcissist for seven years in college. I remember that fondly. You remember that guy. This sounds like shit he would say to me. This actually sounds like shit he would say to me after he cheated on me and we broke up.

Shanna

It's like gaslighting in a way.

Laura

It's gaslighting, yeah.

Shanna

If you do it, you're going to ruin me. It's your fault. Yeah.

Laura

Well, I mean, it's a classic narcissist technique to make it seem like you are the only person in the world that can make them happy. So you are responsible for their happiness, which means that if you suddenly decide, like, wait, I don't like the way this person is treating me, you feel like you're responsible for their entire well-being.

Shanna

Yes. Exactly. Yes. I agree with you. I agree. I think it's an abusive and emotionally manipulative song. And I'm so sorry for any listeners who have been singing this song to your baby, and this is totally ruining it for you.

Laura

Well, I've heard that people will rewrite certain lullabies. I tried to rewrite rock of my baby when my baby was little.

Shanna

Oh, I've definitely rewritten that. My kids don't even know the real words to that.

Laura

I don't even really remember what I did because I never found a good rhyme. So I'm curious, people have come up with a good substitute for You Are My Sunshine because it is a really great melody.

Shanna

Yes, it is.

Laura

Very soothing, just very pleasant.

Shanna

You'll always know, dear, how much I love you and all. Oh, I love you each and every day. That's how I do it. That's good. If I sing it. Yeah. That's good. I like that. So there are a lot of other adult songs that I think are wonderful for babies. And I just want to suggest a couple that I really love. OK. OK. So one I do suggest is What A Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong. I love it. It's very simple, but the gist of it, some of the lyrics are wonderful. It's a wonderful world. I'm just walking on air. happy through all the day, I haven't got to care, that kind of stuff. Like it's just a very sweet, happy song. And one that I sang to my girls over and over and over is Your Song by Elton John. I love that song so much. I get all the feels, like it's all about writing a song for someone you love so much. And the gist of it is how wonderful, how wonderful life is with you in the world.

Laura

Yeah, I get choked up too. I also kind of sing the like Mulan Rouge version of it.

Shanna

That's where I really fell in love with that song. Was that movie? Yeah, me too. Me too. So good.

Laura

Yeah, I find myself singing Hamilton, but when we would be doing a lot of driving around when my baby was little, I would sing that would be enough to him. And there are some lyrics in there that you're like, maybe not 100% appropriate for kids, but it's, you know, I love the like, look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now. I love that. Like, I just love that sentiment completely. So I, yeah, yeah.

Shanna

You guys are probably all like, OK, Shanna, you play Wiggle Jiggle for your kids and like fuck this. That I don't mind like a fun, crazy upbeat song with a couple curse words, but songs about, you know, like what we talked about in My Sunshine to me, that's dark and a little bit. Yeah. Just not really the message I want my kids to hear.

Laura

I also feel like that emotional stuff, it's very subtle and it's very pervasive. So it's not just that one song that they'll hear this idea that you're my only sunshine and if you go away, I'm going to be so, so sad. That's a very common thing we have in our culture. So anywhere you can try to minimize that and try to model a little bit more independent and healthy. Yes. Emotional behavior, you know, because I think part of the reason I ended up in this relationship with the asshole narcissist for so long is because like all romantic comedies I grew up watching. Were about how like the man pursues the woman relentlessly until she finally realized she does love him you know the whole John Cusack standing outside of the window with his boombox thing that's supposed to be romantic and actually it's like how about like no means no you know like how about

Shanna

Yeah. And make them feel bad when they do want to say no.

Laura

Yes.

Shanna

Exactly. Absolutely. All right. Well, so that's my first one. Laura, what do you got for us?

Laura

Okay. This is a very current gripe because I am currently 27 weeks pregnant. And the real question is, what trimester am I in, Shanna?

Shanna

What? Okay.

Laura

And if you just want to be more confused, if you go to women'shealth.gov, which is the US Department of Health and Human Services, they say the third trimester is week 29 to 40.

Shanna

Okay.

Laura

And I know trimesters are arbitrary delineations.

Shanna

But they're not trimester. It's a third of the pregnancy of the typical length of pregnancy.

Laura

And part of the problem is that there's 40 weeks in a pregnancy that is not divisible by three evenly. So, you know, it's not I think we can say that maybe someone needs to write into the US Department of Health and Human Services and say like, this doesn't track. I think it's 27 or 28. It's not week 29 that it starts.

Shanna

I wonder if that one is going off of the fact that there's no fetus or embryo until you're, you know, two weeks, technically two weeks pregnant. I feel like they're tacking on two weeks to this third trimester.

Laura

No, because it says week 29 to week 40. Like it says, first trimester is week one to 12, second trimester is week 13 to 28, and third trimester is week 29 to 40. That makes no sense.

Shanna

I think someone forgot to run quality assurance on that page and didn't catch that typo. That's what I think.

Laura

Okay. I mean, the problem is it would have to be three typos, or two typos, because the second trimester ending would have to be the same, you know?

Shanna

Well, here's the way I figure it. 40 divided by 3 is about 13.3. So if your first trimester is 13.3, add another to that that's 26.6. So you basically started your third trimester at about 27 weeks.

Laura

Yeah, I mean, I think that follows. But I wish someone would like send the memo out is what I'm saying. Yes. This came up because I was actually at the park and met a woman who like is due basically the same week I am. And she was like, oh, we're in third trimester. And I was like, are we or is it till next week? And she was like, good question. We were just like trying to figure it out.

Shanna

You can call it a wobble week. You're going to be over it. Who knows right now? Things are just wobbling in the air and then you'll know. You'll know next week. It's a gap week. Yeah, it's a gap week.

Laura

Between my second and third trimester, I went and spent a week traveling around Europe, finding myself.

Shanna

Oh, that's perfect. That's what all women in their third trimester needs to do. Or in their second, depending on how you're counting.

Laura

But this, this is my very minor gripe, but I am sure other people maybe have run into this and I hope someone shares this gripe with me because I'm a person, I like data. I like to know whether I'm in a third trimester or second trimester like stop fucking with me people.

Shanna

I know. It's very strange that no one can agree on that. And I feel you. I feel you on this. I definitely felt it more when I was actually pregnant. You know, it's like such a distant memory now. But I remember being super confused about that.

Laura

Well, and there's something so final about being in your third trimester, too, that it feels sort of wishy-washy to not know because you're like, oh, man, it's home stretch, you know? Home stretch. But I need to remember that the world is not so strict and the calendar isn't as important to this baby's development as I think it is. Yeah, I think so.

Shanna

Oh, my goodness.

Laura

Anyway, that's my gripe. It's very minor. But isn't that what gripe water is supposed to be about?

Shanna

That is. I have one that's also very minor.

Laura

OK, I want to hear this minor gripe you have.

Shanna

OK. My gripe is toothbrushes. OK. I have so much shit to say about toothbrushes. I will try to keep it limited. OK, first of all, toothbrushes are a problem in my house because we go through them like candy. It's crazy how many toothbrushes we have to buy and throw away. Not me, right? I am great with my toothbrush. The kids are terrible of course they chew them chew them chew them chew them and I have to get rid of them or they drop them in the toilet and we have to get rid of them or you know CECE will carry her toothbrush all over the house brushing her teeth and who knows where that toothbrush ends up. So we're constantly losing toothbrushes and having to buy new ones to save money. I'm like, well, these toothbrushes are going to get chewed to shit and thrown away. So I'm going to buy the cheapest toothbrushes possible, which like Target has like their super, super duper cheap brand.

Laura

Is he a snob about toothbrush brands?

Shanna

Apparently, that's something we're learning about him. Because I think the cheap ones are so basic. The bristles are all one height. They have no variety in height, so you can't pick in between your teeth. The kids don't need to pick in between their teeth. They have gaps, massive gaps between every single tooth. And so I just wish someone would make, I don't know, put some bristles on the end of a fricking popsicle stick and call it a toothbrush and charge like a six cents for it and solve my problem. Why do I have to buy a toothbrush with like fricking frozen or Moana on it because that's all they sell for like infants and toddlers. And it's all plastic.

Laura

Do you think your kids would treat it a little bit more like reverently if Moana was on it?

Shanna

No, of course not. I get the Moana toothbrushes all the time. That's why I went to the cheap ones because the fancy ones get trashed. And L is like, I'm a big girl now. I'm not using kid toothbrushes. I want adult toothbrushes. And so, you know, those are just more expensive because they're more plastic because the handle is longer. So I just want to invent some little toothbrush that's super cheap and that can be trashed. because I guess I could teach my kids better toothbrush manners, couldn't I? This is literally occurring to me now.

Laura

Instead of doing that, you're like, we need to invent a new product.

Shanna

Oh, I was so into my popsicle stick toothbrush, but yeah, you're so right.

Laura

You could just like finally shred the end of a popsicle stick.

Shanna

Just brush it with the wood charts.

Shanna

I mean, I'm one step away from doing that. I've grown so much money at Fancy Toothbrush. They're not even fancy. This is just what's for sale. And the other reason I should really just teach manners is because one gripe about myself is I've noticed that my toothbrush hygiene has gone out the window. I would have been horrified to ever use anyone else's toothbrush, right? And I'll see Cece go and pick up my toothbrush and put it in her mouth and whatever. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. And then I just rinse it off in brush. I'm like, oh, that's so gross. And then they drop them on the floor, you know? Bathroom floor full of dust bunnies, full of whatever pee stains. I don't even know what's down there. And I'm like, oh, damn it. And then I pick it up and just like rinse it off. And it's like, well, here's your toothbrush. Sorry. And that's gross. I hate that about myself.

Laura

Oh, Shanna, you got to upgrade. You got to treat yourself and get an electric toothbrush. Why? They're great. Your teeth feel so much cleaner and they're like big and heavy and the kids can be off limits for the kids. Oh, but you guys have one bathroom, too. Oh, yeah. That makes it harder. Yeah.

Shanna

It makes it harder. Thanks for reminding me about that terrible fact.

Laura

Well, I just mean like it's hard for you. You've got more square footage than I do. You just don't have the bathroom to yourself. Yeah, we don't have the master. You could mount it to the wall, too, so they couldn't reach it.

Shanna

Yeah, that's a really good idea. And speaking of electric toothbrushes, this is another one of my little gripes about it. I bought L, like, you know, they sell little electric toothbrushes for kids, battery operated. Moana or whatever is the fun character. And I was like, oh, that's cool. You know, I'll just replace the head of the toothbrush because that's less plastic and less waste. Oh, no. No, no, no. Those are not replaceable. You cannot get that off unless you crack it with a hammer. You have to throw the entire thing away when your kid munches that toothbrush bristle down to a shred in four days. Yeah. Wow. I'm sorry. I'm expressing so much anger about toothbrushes right now. I'm sorry.

Laura

It's okay. Well, I realized I have a giant Ziploc bag full of brand new, like, toddler toothbrushes. What? Why? Because my neighbor used to be a preschool teacher. And she had a ton left over. And she was like, do you want these? And I was like, sure, I guess. But we don't have your problem right now, at least.

Shanna

I was going to say, it is a two kid problem, I think.

Laura

Yeah. I was going to say, I think it's a two kid problem. My guy is strangely chill with tooth brushing. And now we're even flossing. He looks forward to flossing.

Shanna

You are rubbing salt in my wound so bad right now. I can't even handle it.

Laura

The reason that I'm just like even bringing it up is because it blows my mind because I am not that great about brushing my teeth and flossing. Like my toddler floss is more than I do. Oh my lord. Does he floss his own teeth? No, he has these little, I got these little, you know, individual pics. They're super wasteful. But I think it's teaching him good habits. So we're just going with it. They're like the little plastic individual flossers. And so I'll go, you know, I'll be like, mommy will do it first. And then you can do it. And then he grabs it and he goes, floss, floss. And he wants to floss.

Shanna

Oh my gosh. That's so smart because my kids, if they get a hold of a box of floss, there will be six football fields, lengths of floss zigzagged around my house. And then I have to buy more floss.

Laura

Yeah, no, definitely not the I don't know how even how you floss the kids teeth with like regular floss. No, but yeah, I don't. So he only has two teeth on bottom that touch and like the two on top that touch even, which is all. So it's not that big of a deal, but I'm just like, well, maybe he'll be better than me because I'm not good at flossing.

Shanna

This generation has, well, not their generation because they're so young, but you know, kids these days seem to have better habits. I was a teacher for a little while and all my kids were like, yeah, we floss every single day. And I'm talking like junior high, sixth graders. I think I mentioned like made a joke about how I don't floss every day and they like thought it was disgusting. So I think the flossing and teeth brushing habits of the younger kids are going to far, far outweigh ours.

Laura

Yeah, well, mine already does.

Shanna

Literally at one year old.

Laura

Yes.

Shanna

That is so funny. OK, so that's it for me. Do you have another one for us? You know what?

Laura

I just don't think anything can top. The toothbrush graveyard that you are experiencing in your house. Oh, my God. So I might just chill out, save my gripes for another time.

Shanna

OK. All right. Sounds good to me. Well, should we take a break then and come back with our BFPs and BFNs? I think we should. OK.

Laura

Oh, I've got a BFP. So maybe this is why I didn't have another gripe because I feel like this is like, I've been filled with this just joy and wonder about the world with my BFP.

Shanna

Aw, that's so sweet.

Laura

Which is this book that we have, it's called All the World.

Shanna

Do you have all the world? I don't know. We have so many books. I lose track. Tell me about it.

Laura

It's by a woman named Liz Garten Scanlon. So we got it as a hand me down. And at first I thought it was too long. Like it was definitely too long for. a infant. Sandra Boynton is a good length for when your kids are, I don't know, 15 months or younger. 16 words tops. Yeah, keep it short. But recently, my guy started like asking for it. And I was kind of surprised he started asking for it by name because we would read it every once in a while. It would come out And he started going, all world, all world. And I was like, okay. And it's this really, it's beautifully illustrated, like not cartoonish at all. It's like very just, it's hand drawn. And I just find the visuals really pleasing. And it has this like really nice rhythm, like the first

Shanna

Yeah, I was gonna say I think it's Jewish books because I got a bunch of hand me down books from someone in my buy nothing group and a bunch of them were Jewish books and I kept seeing PJ PJ PJ. Interesting.

Laura

So it says PJ library sends free award-winning books that celebrate Jewish values and culture to families with children from birth through 12 years old. And so we got it as a hand me down from my stepsisters family. And, you know, I have Jewish heritage as well. And it made me think, like, maybe you should sign up for this. Like they'll send it to you regardless of, like, I guess how, whether you're observant or not. I don't know. But this one in particular, it's not like specifically a Jewish book, like it doesn't have like anything that's specifically about Jewish holidays or Jewish traditions, but the reason they picked it. So this is what they say about the book, which is the reason they picked it.

Shanna

Yes. Yes, I love that. I want to get that.

Laura

But yeah, so that's my BFP and that's why it must be why I'm not griping this week because I feel so blissed out. Oh, that's great.

Shanna

By this beautiful little book. Yay.

Laura

So, Shanna, do you have a BFP or a BFN?

Shanna

I have a BFP this week. Okay. I've been noticing that Cece is getting really good at figuring stuff out on her own. And I think this is a byproduct of her being the second child and I really don't have as much time to like focus really on her only and help her do things. So she's just like, I want to learn how to climb up onto the swing and I'm going to do it. You know, she doesn't wait for me. We have this ladder swing that hangs from a tree and has like six rungs and she just climbs up and up. I look over there and she's like standing on the second or third rung just like swinging around. I'm just like, oh my God, no one taught her that. Just doing it. So that in itself is really cool. And I also think it's a product of having just more stuff around because she's a second kid. There's more just variety.

Laura

Yeah, I definitely feel you on that because when you're home with your one only child, it's very hard to not be super engaged. You know, I feel like one of those things, like what you're doing right now with CeCe is very Janet Landsbury approved, right? Yeah, I think so. letting them explore whatever they need to explore and also it's hard. I don't know if L was like this, but my guy like if he starts getting frustrated with something because we have some duplos too and like but we don't have a big set or anything. I should probably get him like more of them so he can play with them, but we don't have like a big set. We have just like I think we have like a train and like a couple extra things that go on. I should get more. But you know, if he starts getting frustrated, now he's just like, Mama, do it. I'm like, OK. And it's very hard to just be like, no, I think you can figure out.

Shanna

Oh, yeah. That's so her attitude. So I think it's that. I think it's, you know, also just a little bit of a different personality style than Elle had. Even if I try to help CeCe sort of got, she's like, no. It's like, OK, OK, figure it out yourself. I think that's cool. It's really cool. It's just fun to watch, and I really like seeing what intrigues her. Duplos happen to be one of them, so highly recommend. All right, I'm going to have to get some more of those, I think. Yeah, but that's it for me. Laura, I think that might be the end of our show. I think it might be. I think we need to wrap it up. Let's wrap it up. Listeners, we want your stories about false positive pregnancy tests if you have any. And anything else you want to share with us, we love hearing from you. Laura, where can they reach us?

Laura

We are on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook at BFB Podcast. We also have a website, bigpatpositivepodcast.com. If you want, you can send us an email and you can include a voice memo in that email to contact at bigfappositivepodcast.com. Finally, go on Facebook and join our Facebook community. Just search Big Fat Positive Community. It's a private group request to join. You will get right through if you answer the two questions that you get for membership and we will pass you right on through to these amazing conversations we're having in there and all the cute baby pictures. So come join us.

Shanna

If you love our show, please rate and review us wherever you listen to podcasts. That's so helpful for us, and we really, really appreciate it. And spread the word. Let your friends know about Big Fat Positive. Big Fat Positive is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thanks for listening, everyone. See you next time. Bye. See ya.