False Labor or Gas Pain? Late-Pregnancy Guessing Games – Ep. 125

Laura

Welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. This week we have our weekly check-ins. We have our special segment. They said, what? Will we talk about flamingos and figs? And we close with our BFPs and BFNs for the week. Let's get started. Hey everyone, welcome to the show. This is episode 125. Hi, Shanna. Hello. So before we start, we just want to wish everyone in the US who's celebrating a happy Thanksgiving this week. It's Thanksgiving week. Yeah. No matter how you're celebrating, happy Thanksgiving. There's always a lot to be thankful for.

Shanna

I plan to celebrate by gorging myself on delicious food and treats of all varieties and being thankful.

Laura

Oh my gosh, Shanna, that's my plan too.

Shanna

What? Where did you come up with that idea? Tradition. OK. Moving on.

Laura

Yes. I want to know what's going on with you, how old your toddler is, how you guys have been doing, all that jazz.

Shanna

Well, she is 22 months and two weeks. And this week, the big thing is that she has decided. And I have to say that this girl always makes her own decisions, right? It's never like, I think I'm going to do this. It's just like. She, this week, is completely done with her high chair. She's just not interested at all anymore. And her booster seat. Like, nope, I'm going to sit at the table with everyone else. I want to sit by my sister. And if she can't sit and reach her food, she just stands up and stands through the entire meal and eats her food. Oh my god. Oh, so it's bittersweet. You know, I love when she's independent, but also my baby is growing up like that feels like a big milestone to me.

Laura

Well, yeah, also it feel like for me, it would be stressful because I'd be like, please don't fall, please don't fall. fall on dinner.

Shanna

I know. I've had to give that up because she's just like too bad. She's just going to do it. She has fallen a couple of times. This makes me sound like a terrible mother. We have bench seats and she was like shimmying down. I don't even know why and just kind of stepped off the edge. But she learned her lesson and now she's extremely stable up there.

Laura

That's good.

Shanna

And that's how she wants to do meals. So I'm like, let's get rid of the high chair then because it's bulky. It takes a lot of room and I'm all about decluttering. So I listed our beloved high chair that we've had since L was a baby. I really liked this high chair. It's the Kika Roo. It's like kind of, you know, cool and modern looking. And I just really love it. And I offered it up for free on my buy nothing group. And I feel just kind of a little bit emotional about it.

Laura

Yeah, I can see that. We have that stokey, trip-trap chair, which is ridiculously expensive, but the idea is that it grows with them until adults can apparently sit in it if you haven't set up right. So hopefully it'll have some longevity up for us, and I won't have to go through that emotional giving up of the chair.

Shanna

Yeah, the kikaru is the same exact way. It's like, grow with your child. And that was a big selling point for me, because I didn't realize that down the line, I just would not be interested in using it in that way. The girls didn't really care for it that much. And it's just one extra thing in the dining room. You know, we already have two benches and two chairs on the ends. And like, where am I going to fit in a kikaru chair?

Laura

So yeah, the benches I can see that makes a difference. That makes it a little more difficult.

Shanna

Yeah, if we had like six chairs all around, we could just replace one of the chairs, but we've got these massive benches that weigh like 100 pounds each.

Laura

So she is standing on the bench for whatever, every dinner.

Shanna

Every dinner, lunch, breakfast. Oh my God. Yeah, that's what she's enjoying. And another thing she's up to this week, let me give a little update on the potty training, which isn't even training, it's just potty introduction.

Laura

Potty exploration.

Shanna

Potty exploration. She's getting more comfortable with it this week. She's using it a little more often, still wearing her pull-ups and diapers. But what she's decided to do this week is After she pees in the potty, she's very curious about it, so she turns around and sticks her face so close to the pot to inspect what she's done in there. I don't think you need to get that close, but she doesn't pee that much in there so I can see why she needs to get close. What's in there? What have I done?

Laura

So that's really cute. I feel like the curiosity is a good sign though, right? It shows that she's really interested in it and she wants to see what happened and isn't scared of it. Yeah. My guy is always interested in inspecting afterwards. He's really funny too. Like if he has a poop, he goes, big poop.

Shanna

Oh my God, that's so funny. So after she inspects it, she's really into the ritual of emptying the little potty seat. So she picks it up out of the potty, walks over to the toilet to dump it, and her aiming is horrendous. Basically, she walks up, dumps it before I can even stop her. I'm like, no, no, no, and just dumps it all over the floor because her aim is so bad.

Laura

Yeah, my guy, he originally was very interested in flushing and dropping the pee in the toilet, but lately he's kind of lost interest, which is probably good because it's like a toddler walking across the house with Because we have ours in the living room. I don't know where you're keeping your potty because that's just where we are all the time. You have yours in the bathroom. We need to move ours in the bathroom, but we're always in the living room. Plus, it's like four steps to the bathroom. It's not like that big of a difference.

Shanna

Yeah.

Laura

But even then, he has to get over the baby gate. He has to get through the door and it's just like, ugh.

Shanna

It's like you when you go to the doctor's office and get your pee test.

Laura

Yes, it's very much like that. Yeah. Except for I've been walking a little longer than my toddler. Less chance for spillage. I don't know though. I'm probably just as clumsy at this point.

Shanna

Yeah, true. And then another little update. I have been bemoaning our sleep regression and early wakeups and all that jazz. And that's gotten a little bit better. We're back to around 6 a.m. wakeups. So that's Very, very good. Just want to let people know that there is a happy end in sight.

Laura

And what about Naps? Because she was trying to reject her in all Naps, right?

Shanna

Yeah, we just kept going with putting her down every single day and that's gotten better too.

Laura

Oh, good, good, good, good, good. I'm glad to hear that. Yes. I love how like when you're a parent, when 6 a.m. sounds good, you're like, oh, that's great. Oh, totally. If they sleep till 7, you're like, what a miracle.

Shanna

Oh, God, that's like so sleeping in. That's the dream. Maybe we'll get there at some point. But I have two kids to contend with. You know, it's like getting them both to sleep until that hour. That would be a true Christmas miracle. Maybe that'll happen by Christmas. Yeah, maybe it'll happen on Christmas. Yeah. So that's pretty much our week. Things are good better than last week and just got to work on our potty aim. What about you? How are you guys doing this week?

Laura

We're good. So I am 24 weeks pregnant now. I'll talk about that first because there's actually not too much to talk about except for 24 weeks is like what people call the viability age, right?

Shanna

Oh, yeah.

Laura

Yeah. It's not great. You don't want to have your kid at 24 weeks, but at 24 weeks is when doctors basically will start to really like they do interventions if you do end up giving birth. this early so it's nice to know that I have passed that and we're chugging along and everything's good and baby still inside. Good so 24 weeks is about six months like what are you telling people you're five months pregnant six I always forget how that I go by weeks because it's just too like otherwise it's just too confusing about okay so if a month is four weeks 24 divided by four is.

Shanna

That's where I got six from. Yeah, six.

Laura

Yes. 24 divided by four is six. So yeah, six months ish, you know, it's so the months and the weeks don't really line up because it's like 40 weeks of pregnancy. The first two weeks, you're not even actually pregnant. The whole thing is weird.

Shanna

And months do have more than four weeks. It's like each month has like four in a couple days. Exactly.

Laura

Yeah. Yeah. So we'll just call it six-ish months. And this week I'm still having like a lot of SPD pain. And so it's reminding me to take things easier. I'm trying to remember to do that. And I'm getting like occasional cramping like it's a combination of either backs and hicks or just like actual cramps. I don't really I don't really know. So I but I've noticed this when I'm really, really tired of pushing it. So I just I need to chill out a little bit more. And the one little anecdote from this week was Oh, pregnancy anxiety. So at like 3am in the middle of this week on Wednesday, I woke up to really painful stomach. My stomach just hurt really, really bad, and I was definitely having some kind of Braxton Hicks or something, because someone could get hard. And I felt like I need to go to the bathroom.

Shanna

I haven't, no.

Laura

There's a really strong theme in that show where the moms who didn't know they were pregnant as they're giving birth and not realizing it thought they just had a lot of constipation, like had a big poop they needed to get out. And I suddenly had this seed and my brain was planted like, oh no, what if this is actually contractions? What if this is actually me trying to go into labor? Oh no, I shouldn't strain too hard. What's going on?

Shanna

Good thinking.

Laura

OK. And I went back to bed and it was just painful gas.

Shanna

You poor thing.

Laura

But it was really painful. I think I never had this before my previous pregnancy, but I didn't realize how painful gas could be. You just hear people say, oh, I had painful gas or whatever, and you're like, oh, OK. Yeah, why is it painful?

Shanna

The gas bubbles scratch the inside of your intestine. I cannot imagine.

Laura

It must cause problems. Pressure? Like a balloon? This is all guess work. Maybe someone one of our listeners know. Gas work. Yeah. Gas work. Maybe one of our listeners could tell us, but like I'm assuming it's like pressure, right? Building and the pain receptors? I don't know. But thank God for Gasex. Symmethicone.

Shanna

Oh, I know. I love that stuff. Good for babies.

Laura

Good for grownups.

Shanna

Mm-hmm. Good stuff.

Laura

Good for pregnant ladies. So that was my one big paranoia this week. The baby's still inside. Everything's fine now. OK, good, good, good. And then moving on to toddler land. So he is 21 months and two weeks. And this week, I think we're like almost weaned from breastfeeding. Whoa, that's a big deal. Well, by almost, I mean, we're down to once a day in the morning. So I actively chose to go down to once a day because I was kind of like taking his lead and whatnot. But he was like occasionally skipping naps and occasionally skipping before bedtime like I would ask him if he wanted booboo time before bedtime and he just wouldn't so I wouldn't do it and Then I was just like you know what like three out of five days.

Shanna

Oh good

Laura

So he now is just nursing first thing in the morning. I'm sort of letting him because it's I think it's still his comfort time. He's still the first thing he says when he sees me in the morning is. So, you know, we'll have a short nursing session too, because if I do too long, I'll start to get like uterine cramps, which is a thing, you know, what?

Shanna

Oh, yeah, that. Yeah, you mentioned something about that. If like your doctor wants to instill labor, they'll start pumping.

Laura

Yeah, because nipple stimulation, breastfeeding, it all releases oxytocin. Oxytocin is what starts contractions. You know, when you go in to get induced, they give you pitocin, which is the synthetic form of oxytocin. So, yeah, so I have to sort of limit it. But now when I say like, okay, we have to stop, he says baby brother because he knows that's why. So he understands and then he also now says milk gone milk gone.

Shanna

Uh-huh. Like because he drank all the milk out and it was gone or what does he mean?

Laura

No, because last week I noticed that my breast milk has finally turned into colostrum.

Shanna

Oh, for sure.

Laura

I don't know. I'm gonna have to look into it because I'm producing it. I'm gonna be producing it from now till when I give birth. So maybe I might like try to freeze some for myself just in case like I need medicine after labor or something or after my C-section that, you know, it gets into the breast milk or something or who knows, you know, any number of things can happen. But yeah. So if listeners, if you know anything about like donating colostrum or saving it, let me know. I'm curious. But yeah, so that's that's it for this week. It's interesting to not not be like breastfeeding three times a day anymore. Yeah, kind of liberating. I guess I get like a couple months off.

Shanna

I was going to say you might have a two months between when you stop one and start the other.

Laura

Right. What freedom?

Shanna

Yes.

Laura

But anyway, shall we move on to our special segment?

Shanna

Let's do it.

Laura

Okay, so this one I have to say, I didn't know how to categorize this with our normal segments, but I think They Said What is a good category for it because it is a talking toy. This was sent to me by my friend Holly from my mommy and me cohort. She sent to me like right before bed, I get a text from her and I look at it and she was like, she was basically like this, you gotta get this on the podcast one way or another. And this is a product.

Shanna

Wait, did she send you the product or did she send you the story?

Laura

Oh God, no, she didn't send me the product. Thank God, you'll see why. She sent me a link to it. Okay.

Shanna

Okay.

Laura

This is a toy. The toy is by the Little Live Pets brand. And the toy is called the Gotta Go Flamingo.

Shanna

Okay.

Laura

It is a flamingo that you feed special flamingo food. And then when it gets full enough, it announces that he's got to go potty. And he does a little dance. I'm going to play the ad for you so you can hear this madness. OK. It's got to go flamingo.

Shanna

Oh my god, that's wacky. I just, the first thing I think of honestly is whoever that voiceover artist is got hired for that job and was like, oh god, I cannot wait. to say those words and sing that song.

Laura

I gotta say uh oh gotta go. Gotta go. So the Flamingo's name apparently is Sherbet. So it says you should feed Sherbet the gotta go Flamingo his food and watch his long neck wobble and wiggle and make you giggle. Sherbet will start singing his hilarious gotta go song and make funny sounds to tell you that he needs to use the toilet. And like in the commercial this little girl like has to rush The flamingo to the toilet. It says, place sherbet on the toilet and watch him poop his magical colorful poop into the bowl. OK, here's the grossest portion.

Shanna

This will make go its own poop. That is a terrible lesson to teach small children. Can you just imagine me like, well, Sherbert scoops out his poop from the toilet and eats it so I can too.

Laura

It's so awful. And I mean, it does this little wiggle. Oh my God, it's 20 bucks. Oh, it's on sale. on Walmart.com. It's on sale.

Shanna

Okay. There you go. Okay. Questions.

Laura

Yeah.

Shanna

Does it go on its own little potty? Cause I'm imagining this girl rushing to the toilet. The flamingo is shitting in the water and this girl's fishing it out of the toilet water.

Laura

It comes with a little potty. Yeah. And I've done some digging and discovered that like the apparently this special flamingo food is just hydrophobic sand, which is like a it's not it's not kinetic sand, but it's similar. And so that's why it dries instantly because it's hydrophobic, like it doesn't absorb water. But it's just this random sand. And the other thing is that sherbet apparently repeats anything you say back to it. Oh, OK, so.

Shanna

This poor flamingo raining to poop out his rainbow hydro sand or whatever. Oh, my God. So are there other reviews?

Laura

Yes. Here's another one star review. Warning, you can't get additional poo. Three exclamation points.

Shanna

Oh, the horror, the injustice!

Laura

The flamingo sounds like good fun, but it is temperamental and deposits its poo on the table rather than the toilet. However, the main issue is that you can't order additional poo, so once it's all used, it's useless. Additionally, my two and a half year old grandson says, a bit rubbish. So I'm assuming that was, I should have read the whole thing in a British accent.

Shanna

Oh man. That is a sucky thing that you can't just buy a pack of poo. Why not?

Laura

Well, so apparently you go on Amazon and you get hydrophobic sand and it's the same thing. So.

Shanna

Oh, okay. So they just weren't thinking outside the box.

Laura

I guess so.

Shanna

Now look, Laura, this does sound crazy, but I have to tell you, I know for a fact my girls would love this toy. Love it.

Laura

Well, congratulations. You now have a Christmas gift idea.

Shanna

And it doesn't, I guess I'm not too phased by it because this is a big fascination with, you know, toddlers and preschoolers essentially, especially. And they have a doll called Baby Alive. Have you seen this line of babies at any toy store?

Laura

No, I'm already getting chills though. What is it?

Shanna

Well, the baby doesn't look alive. It's all plastic. It's waterproof. But basically what it is, is it has a hole from its mouth to its vagina. Or it's urethra, I guess rather. It's just a general crotch area. You feed the baby water with a little baby bottle that it comes with and it pees. And you know, kids go crazy for it. There are so many baby alive dolls in different varieties and outfits and all this stuff.

Laura

Sure. I just like. I get it. I get it. Kids are fascinated by bodily functions and all that stuff. But there's just something like very over the top about this like flamingo. Its neck is like gyrating. Also the fact that like multiple reviews indicate that it starts making terrible noises after a while.

Shanna

Like gagging on its own shit.

Laura

But maybe our listeners already have this toy and they're like, it's great, so let us know.

Shanna

Yeah, let us know your reviews of Flamingo. Let's sherbet the Flamingo.

Laura

Why do I have the feeling that you are on your way to Amazon right now to add this to your cart?

Shanna

Oh yeah, of course I went straight to Amazon. All I Googled was pooping and it immediately brought up a suggestion for a Flamingo toy. And Laura, hello, this thing is $75. What? No, no, no.

Laura

Yes, that's what it says. Okay. On Amazon, is it like sold out? Is it like other people selling it?

Shanna

There's two left in stock, so I guess it's a hot demand.

Laura

Oh, man. Well, the one I was looking at just now when we were recording the segment was Walmart.com, and it was 20 bucks on sale.

Shanna

So, clearly, I need to shop there instead. This thing does look hilarious. So it comes with a little food scooper. Oh my God, this picture of this little flamingo sitting on his potty.

Laura

Oh my God. Please don't spend $75 on it.

Shanna

Well, what I need to do is make sure that Elle never learns about this product. Otherwise, I probably will end up spending $75 on it because I'm a sucker for my girls.

Laura

Well, in the meantime, before you start shopping around, will you at least share with us your they said what? Yes.

Shanna

OK. You know, Elle is always saying funny things. And I don't see many people these days. So I got to rely on her for some good. They said what? God. So we go walking most days around our neighborhood and one of my new hobbies has become, you know, if someone has a fig tree that's like overhanging the sidewalk and there's like a delicious looking fig like right there over the sidewalk, I'll like very slyly like pick it. I don't know. Does that make me a terrible person? I need to know.

Laura

I don't think so. It's called gleaning, by the way. It has a real term. Really? Uh-huh. It's called gleaning, and there's a whole biblical background to it. Do you want me to look this up? Yeah. Okay, so like the biblical concept of gleaning, and someone please write in if I'm getting this horribly wrong, but apparently it's first found in Leviticus. So it said, when wheat and barley fields were ready to be harvested, some of the grain was allowed to fall to the ground so that the poor could gather what they needed for provision. And it's because it's like a thing where, you know, the idea is that if there's fruit at the edge of your pasture, whatever, or some farmers at the edge of your orchard or whatever, on the other side of your fence, you can glean the fruit. Whether that makes you a good or bad person, I don't know.

Shanna

That's how I feel about it. I feel relieved a bit of my guilt, but it does make me self-conscious, right? So I try to do it on the sly and I'll be walking by and like, oh my God, that one looks like this. I just like kind of reach up and like quickly stick it under the stroller. And I've been doing this also with succulents because that's my new hobby is like arranging succulent cuttings and propagating them and stuff and the neighborhood abounds with beautiful things half the time they're overgrown and you know sticking out over the sidewalk and I'm kind of like I'm not gonna lie I walk around with a a little pair of scissors and sometimes I'll very slyly like, oh, I need a time issue and like snip off like a little piece of a succulent and take it and like replant it in my house.

Laura

I have 1000% done that.

Shanna

Okay, good.

Laura

God, that was such a confession. I mean, it depends. Like I feel like it depends. Like if it's like clearly going to make the plant look worse or it's a big piece or you know what I mean? Like I do it judiciously. But you know, the thing about succulents is that they kind of like get very leggy and overgrown. And a lot of times they just kind of break off by themselves, too. So my favorite is like if there's a piece broken off, I'll just grab that because they'll start then rooting, you know, or just taking like individual leaves off of You know, sedums are really good for that or, or echeverias, you know, you can take like just individual leaves off or you can just pick ones up that have fallen to the ground and propagate those.

Shanna

So that is a miracle. I just learned about that. You take one of those little kind of thick little leaves, I guess, whatever the plant you just said. And I have been just growing new plants from a leaf. It's so cool. I did not think that was going to happen. I was like, all right, we'll see what happens. Sprouting new plants. It's so cute.

Laura

Yeah, I personally think it's okay as long as it's not an obnoxious amount you're taking.

Shanna

Look, I have my boundaries. I will never go up on someone's property. I won't step foot on someone's property. If it's a small plant, I could tell. It's in a pot, you know, that they are working on it. It's like, no, it's almost always like overgrown bushes or whatever. But anyway, I try to keep this on the slide from the neighbors and also from my girls, right? I feel really bad that I'm walking around the neighborhood like, oh, a fig. Oh, succulent. Oh, like just taking what I want from the neighborhood. I feel like it's a bad example. And we mentioned earlier that like kids notice everything, right? Mm-hmm. And I've mentioned before that my kid, Elle, is quite loud. She's just a loud voice, a loud personality.

Laura

Is this even a fig tree? I don't know what a fig tree looks like.

Shanna

I have no idea. I'm not the fig thief. I'm like, oh my god, she just calls me out right in front of the fig owner's house.

Laura

I was so embarrassed. Oh, kids tell it like it is.

Shanna

They do. And then as far as the succulents go, you know, I try to be so sly about that one. The other day I was like leaning down and I snipped a quick little couple of things. And Elle turns to me, she goes, Mama, you're always stealing everything.

Laura

Oh, my God. Oh, kids say the darndest things.

Shanna

Yes, yes, they do.

Laura

My 88-year-old stepfather does this regularly, by the way.

Shanna

Prune succulents or call you out for stealing neighbor stuff.

Laura

Oh, God, no, no. Just taking snippings of plants from neighbors and stuff. He has no shame about it. And he's a really amazing gardener. And so the fact that he doesn't make me I mean, it could just be like white male privilege. There probably is a lot of white male privilege, but it's also like, I think it's kind of like a thing and people who guard in like, I don't know, they're wrong. Oh my God, we're going to get so much mail on this one. We so much mail.

Shanna

We might. I'm like totally building a little succulent garden and my daughter thinks I'm a terrible person. So. There you go.

Laura

Well, I can't absolve you, but I do think that it's fairly common practice and you're trying to make the world a greener place. And you're not harming it, I hope. So yeah.

Shanna

Thank you. Thank you. Anyway, should we move on to our BFPs and BFNs? I guess we should. OK.

Laura

Okay, we are back and we close every show with our big fat positives or big fat negatives of the week. Shanna, do you have a BFP or a BFN for us?

Shanna

BFP.

Laura

Please do. We're always looking for snack and meal ideas.

Shanna

Yes. I know that we've talked before on the show about pomegranates, right? Because. Yes. Yes. My girls love eating those little jewels and I think you started giving it to your guy and he really liked them too. And it's such a great snack for little ones because they're so tiny and juicy. So the other day someone in my buy nothing group, my beloved group was offering up pomegranates from her tree and she's like, I have one dozen to gift to gift each person, you know, like, each person in the group. There's like a thousand people, but for 10 winners, right? And I was like, Oh my God, I love pomegranates. I know. And so I won this gift and I went over and picked them up and I happened to run into her as I was picking them up.

Laura

Are they soft? Like, I'm not soft, but like because they have sugar in them, you can actually chew them. It's like you're chewing on ice cubes. Okay.

Shanna

Exactly. So amazing. If they don't get hard as rocks, it's just like the perfect texture. And what I love about this idea is pomegranates go out of season after, you know, I don't know, January, February. And I get so sad that they're out of season. And what I'm going to do is buy a bunch while they're great right now and just put them in the freezer and just have them for the next several months.

Laura

That's such a good idea.

Shanna

Do it, do it, do it.

Laura

It never occurred to me to freeze pomegranate seeds, but yeah, because you're right, you can only get them. It's one of those things you can only get in certain times of the year. And like apples, you know, where you can get from the southern hemisphere or whatever. Wow.

Shanna

Yeah, revelation, right? I'm blowing my mind. So try that. And then the other food thing that I made this week that the girls loved, and I love too, was chimichangas.

Laura

Chimichangas? Yes.

Shanna

You know what chimichanga is, right?

Laura

No, no, no. Remind me, because I feel like I don't have a full recollection. I know that it's a Mexican food. I feel like it's somewhere between a tamal and a burrito? So what about, tell me about a chimichanga.

Shanna

Yeah, close. I grew up in Phoenix and Mexican food is just huge there. One of my favorite things, I worked at a couple of Mexican restaurants, so I'm very familiar with chimichangas. It's basically like a burrito, like all the goodies wrapped inside a flour tortilla and then deep fried. So the flour gets crispy. Oh my God, deep fried flour is one of my deep fried flour tortillas is one of my favorite things. Deep fried flour.

Laura

I will do that. I will do that for sure. All right.

Shanna

So what about you? What do you got for us this week?

Laura

OK, I actually have a BFN. OK. And so as I've mentioned, we've been going to the park a lot. And my BFN is Other Kids Toys at the Park.

Shanna

Oh, good God. Oh, God. I know exactly how you feel.

Laura

Especially the big like right on toys.

Shanna

Yep. I was picturing like big motorized like Jeep thing that some kid brings that we've been there. Oh my God.

Laura

So tell me what the cozy coop or oh my God. It's just like. I get it. You're going to the park with your kid. You want your kid to have their toy. But I have come to like resent other parents that bring these giant toys that are clearly not like shareable toys. I mean, don't even get me started with like the time of COVID and like it's so complicated to figure out. if another parent is comfortable with your toddler even touching a toy or even coming within six feet of you. That's already a whole negotiation where you have to have a little talk with the parent as they start rushing towards each other. That's one thing for a shovel and a pail or a little toy truck that someone's left in the corner of the sandbox. the freaking, like, life-size firetruck ride-and-toy that you brought. There is no way. Like, there is just no way to redirect my kid from that. Like, oh my god, obsessed.

Shanna

No.

Laura

And so this particular time was even like, I don't know if it's better or worse. So we get back to the firetruck toy that he desperately wants to get in. He keeps going, Jai, Jai, Jai, like he wants to drive it and I'm trying to keep him out of it. And then the woman who brought it, she was like, oh, that's mine. You know, he can get in. And it was a mix of relief and like, well, fuck, now I'm never going to be able to set up boundary, you know. because she was like, oh, it's fine. He can get in. I bring I bring like she's like, I bring alcohol spray for it like for this because none of the kids can avoid it.

Shanna

Yeah.

Laura

And I was like, well, OK, that's that's nice. And of course, I was tired fighting. So I was like, go for it, kid. And he was so happily just sitting in there and, you know, driving around. But but then it's like, how do you even enforce? Because there's a lot of people who don't want their, you know, other kids to be playing with their toys.

Shanna

You know, it's so hard. Look, if you're the kind of person that doesn't want other kids playing with the toys, do not bring them to the park. because other kids are going to touch it. If you're a parent like her and doesn't mind sharing and the kid doesn't mind sharing, okay, maybe go for it. But yeah, that is super duper frustrating. And yeah, I've been there and it's just like, oh my God.

Laura

Leave your stuff in the house. The other kids, even if they let you play with it, they have to leave at some point. And then there's that whole conversation. It's like, oh, God. Is it even worth it going to the park at this point? Because he's just going to spend his whole time trying to run off with kids toys.

Shanna

Yes. And that's the thing too with like, you know, I'll bring sand toys sometimes and we don't mind sharing at all. It's like, yeah, go for it. And then half the time I'm like, where the hell did that kid go with that bucket? Where is all our stuff? And like, I have to do this treasure hunt at the end to find all this crap that's strewn about. Finally, I was just like, no, you know, it's too much.

Laura

it's really hard and then it's just that added layer of like right now with the pandemic it's makes it extra hard because you have to you know i feel like last year it would be just a given that like look if you bring your toy to the park there's going to be other kids touching it but now it's like. You have to have a whole, like, it's like you're having a safe sex conversation with everyone you meet, like, you know. Right. What are your limits? What is your comfort? Like, how are, you know. Uh-huh, yeah. Anyway, so that's my current frustration.

Shanna

Well, clearly the solution is to buy him his own ginormous motorized or whatever fire truck.

Laura

You know, the thing is though, I feel like if we did that, he wouldn't care. Like it's it's the other kids toys he wants, you know? Yeah, anyway. But hopefully it's a phase and hopefully I know that like sharing becomes a lot more feasible to teach as they get older. Like right now sharing isn't really like a concept that they get. Right. So we'll see. And thankfully, so far, we haven't had any run-ins with parents who are upset about it, but it's exhausting.

Shanna

Mm-hmm. Yep. Just one more thing to manage on top of everything else.

Laura

Right. Anyway. So that's my BFN for the week, but I think that is our show.

Shanna

I think it is. Listeners, if you have any BFPs or BFNs, or any they said what, we would love to hear from you about them. Laura, where can everyone reach us?

Laura

We are on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at BFP Podcast. We also have a website, bigfatpositivepodcast.com. If you want to send us an email, you could include a voice memo in that email if you want to contact at bigfatpositivepodcast.com. Finally, join us on our Facebook community group, just search Big Fat Positive Community. It's a private group, so please request to join, answer the two questions, and we'll get you right through to all the amazing conversations we're having in there. Very cute baby pictures, really insightful questions and answers. It's just a great community.

Shanna

If you love our show, please spread the word, let your friends know about BFP, and if you haven't done so yet, please leave us a rating or review wherever you listen to the show. Big Fat Positive is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Y'all have a great week! See you next time! Bye!