They Said What?! Wild Comments Moms Hear

It's like, you know how some people just sort of seem like they're floating on a cloud a little bit, you know? Like everything is cool and wonderful and amazing. She seemed like that, which is a great, I think, a great personality trait, like always viewing the bright side. And so we were chatting, and I'm very noticeably pregnant. So she was asking me about it. And she's standing right in front of her daughter. We're right next to them. They can hear what we're saying. And her- How old is the daughter? She was the same age. She was almost two. So she was just about the same age. But old enough to understand what we're talking about, right? I feel like they pick up a lot at this age, right? Maybe I'm wrong. No?

I don't know. It depends on what you're about to say, I think. Okay, let me just tell you what she said, and then you can see why I was a little bit like, ugh. So she's standing right next to her daughter and she was asking me, you know, all the pregnancy questions, what do you do? All that stuff. And she's like, oh, are you, are you, do you know the sex or are you going to find out? And I was like, yeah, it's another boy. And she goes, oh my gosh, that is the best. Two boys are the best. And she's standing right in front of her daughter. What? And I was just like, okay. Okay. Yeah, sure. I try not to buy too much into the gender binary and stuff, but I was sort of like, I wanted to be like, girls are good too.

This is why I feel like when I say they pick up on a lot of things, they may not be responding to us, but I feel like my guy, he'll repeat stuff back from days prior and I'm like, oh, you okay? You heard that. You definitely heard that. It made me a little uncomfortable that she was gushing. It could have just been her trying to be nice and polite. Yeah, that's kind of what I think. It's a happy, positive response. That's wonderful. Also, I'm wondering if it was predicated by thinking Her husband maybe has a brother or someone in her life, you like, has two boys and she just thinks that's really sweet and that just came out as opposed to her thinking, having one daughter really sucks. Yeah, I know. That's what I hope to. I hope to. I think, you know, I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, but it was definitely one of those situations where I was like, actually, okay.

They're all good. Everything's good. It's fine. You know, but she was so like over the top enthusiastic about it That's what white stuck out of my mind because you know people have said to me casually like oh, how fun brothers, you know or whatever but like two boys are the best like whoa, okay Enthusiasm coming in hot for brothers Yep. Yes, indeed. Wow, that's funny. Yeah, I hope it's just that it came out wrong. And she was just trying to be nice and enthusiastic. Yeah. So let me ask you this, thinking about how you're having two boys. Yeah. Oftentimes you hear when people are having a second girl, people are always like, oh, you're going to try for that boy? Or, you know, it's always a thing. So has anyone asked you, oh, you're going to try for that girl? Oh, yeah, my mother-in-law, like all the time. Oh, yes, of course.

Remember the Halloween bonus episode where she submitted a question asking us if she was ever going to have a granddaughter? Yeah. Yeah, actually, people definitely have thrown that out. My mom has mentioned it to... Moms, I guess they want the girls. My sort of stock slash annoying answer is like, well, this one might be a girl in the end. He's going to be assigned male at birth and we're going to just follow his or her or their lead on it. Just because they're born with XY chromosomes and a penis and scrotum and typically male genitalia doesn't mean they're going to turn into a boy necessarily. So how did how do people like that answer? Um, it's, you know, I kind of have to gauge my audience whether or not I give that whole speech. Sometimes I will give a truncated version like I'll just be like, yeah, it's a boy for now.

And then like people will be like, but I have to say in our little pocket of like, South Pasadena, basically California in Los Angeles County, it's not a super controversial statement from what I can tell. I get more people being like, that's right, than anyone giving me a sideways glance. Yeah, that's good. I'm so glad people are becoming more aware of that and more open to that. And it's going to lead to a lot more people growing up, feeling accepted no matter who they are and what they feel like. And so that's awesome. Yeah, I feel like the other way I sort of practice what I preach on this is that when we're out, because we bring going to parks more and stuff because they're open again. And a lot of people have been mistaking my guy for a little girl, which is fine. I mean, it's a little confusing to me just because he's wearing fairly stereotypical boy stuff.

His clothes have a lot of fire trucks and excavators and tractors on them. Yeah, and it's not like he has long hair or anything No, no, yeah cut his hair, you know, but I don't know people just go for it for whatever reason and I never correct people So that's sort of my little way of being gender-neutral is like I'll hear lots of parents be like oh that little girl's like playing with her ball Isn't that cute and I'll just be like yeah, you know like I'm not gonna be like oh boy No, it's too awkward. The other person feels weird. The times I have corrected people, it's just they feel so bad. Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. And to me, I'm like, it's not a big deal. So especially if you're not going to see people again, it's really not a big deal. Yeah, yeah, definitely. So, but apparently two boys are the best. So I won. And I'm screwed. You're totally screwed.

The inverse is that two girls are the worst, apparently.

Not true. My girls are amazing. Definitely not true. They are. They are. They are the envy of all. So yeah, that's my, they said what story? Okay. All right. Well, people have their opinions about boys and girls, I guess. Should we move on to a listener story? Yes. I'm so excited to play these voice memos for all of our listeners. We've got some great ones coming up. So here, our very first one is from Brenna. Here goes.

She told me that I needed to scrub them with a luffa, pinch them, get my husband to suck on them, just anything I could do to like, calc him up or like, roughen him up. I've never heard of this before or none of my like friends who have been pregnant said anything like this. I don't know. I never did anything to prep my nipples for breastfeeding and I breastfed my daughter for eight months and I never had any issues so it seems really odd to me but That's my story, and I don't know if there's any other women out there that have heard this or have ended up doing anything to prep their nipples for breastfeeding, but I'll leave it there. I really enjoy Yale's podcast, so thank you so much for everything that you all do.

Oh, I only laugh because you know, Laura, I have been there. I have received that same advice. From your father-in-law. My father-in-law. Oh, my God. When I was pregnant with Al and visiting them for Thanksgiving, I talked about this in episode 15, I think. Gosh, 15, way back. Yeah. And yeah, I was just alone with him in the room for a few minutes and he just turned to me. He's like an ex-nurse and stuff. So he's very kind, good.

hearted person. This wasn't anything weird, but just like, what are you doing to prep your nipples for breastfeeding? And I was like, I'm sorry, what? So yeah, I know how you feel. I know how you feel. Well, and you guys are not the only ones, apparently Samantha on Instagram told us that She was told to rub sandpaper on her nipples to prepare for breastfeeding as well. Sandpaper? She said, thanks, Nana. That was from her Nana.

Oh, sandpaper sounds so painful. I can't even think about it. Terrible, terrible, terrible. Terrible. Should we read a few more responses we got? Yes. Okay. This one is from Claire. She said, I had my son two months prematurely and he was super sick and we barely got to touch him for the first few weeks. My friend got pregnant around the time he was born and came to visit us after he got home from the hospital. We were talking about all our tips and stories and she said the thing she was most nervous to deal with after the birth was the umbilical stump. I said we didn't really have to deal with that as my son was really ill when his stump fell off and we hadn't had a chance to change a diaper by then or anything. One day we just walked into the NICU and it was gone. Her response, oh, you're so lucky. Uh, bitch please ain't nothing lucky about anything that happened to us.

I'm sure it was a brain fart and I love her. but I am still incensed when I think about it. Talk about insensitive comments. I know. Did you hear anything I just said? Oh, Claire, I'm sorry. I would be mad about that too. I would also be mad about that. Clearly, there's nothing lucky about what you guys went through. I'm so glad the NICU is in your past, but Yeah, your friend deserves a bit of side-eye for that one. For sure. Yes, I agree. All right, what's the next one, Laura? Oh, here's one from Katie on Facebook. She said, someone told her, you look like the blueberry girl from Willy Wonka. And that someone who told her that was a guy in HR.

Oh, come on, HR, dude. Such good human resources right there. By the way, that we looked it up, it was, it's a Violet, I can't pronounce it. How do you say it? I always said Violet Beauregard. Beauregard. There you go. Yeah, she included, Kate included a gif of Violet Beauregard in her comment to us. So I just very much appreciated that. I thought that was hilarious. It was a good laugh. Good laugh. Yes. So let's just do one more and then we'll take a break. What do you got for us? Okay, this is a good one. This is from Alka from Instagram. She said, Newborn babies have breast milk in their own breasts. I didn't know until I had my son. I'm from India originally. My mom and my Indian friends' mom both said I ought to squeeze my poor newborn's chest slash breasts to get the breast milk out. Otherwise, his chest wouldn't be flat, huh? Now I'm confused.

Wait, so she was told that newborn babies have breast milk in their own breasts, but that's not true, right? I mean, mine didn't. Well, you know, I, what? Well, I said mine didn't as far as I know. Neither did not mine, but I didn't go around squeezing their nipples. But okay, I did look it up. And galactoria, is that how you say it? Anyway, neonatal milk happens in about 5% of babies of both sexes. And I guess that's where the term witches milk comes from in ancient folklore. Oh my gosh, this is turned into a, today I learned special from this episode. It's so fascinating. The fluid in this folklore, the fluid leaking from a newborn's nipple was a source of nourishment for witches' family spirits. So there you go. But OK, so Alka was told this and then told that she had to squeeze it out of her son's nipple so that he wouldn't have engorged breasts. Oh, Alka, I'm sorry.

Yeah, that doesn't seem like good or accurate advice. No, I don't think that's anything we need to be doing. No. Okay, speaking of which, I have one more before we go to break because it's just too good. Shannon on Instagram told us that she was told not to drink seltzer water if she's nursing because it will make her breast milk fizzy.

Stop it. What? I'm dying to know who she got this piece of advice from.

I mean, that would be amazing. I feel like that's something Al would say. Yeah, yeah. That's definitely something that came from a young child. Maybe we don't know, Shannon. You've got to follow up and let us know, because that is just too funny. But I have to say, I think both you and I, Shanna, have tested this extensively, and it's not true. People can rest assured. I live on fizzy water, so y'all good. Right. Do you want to take a quick break? And then we will come back. I want to hear your they said what story and then we've got even more voice memos and fun stuff from our listeners. Yes, let's do it.

We're back. We have some more. They said, what stories for you? Before I dive into my story, can you share another reader story with us? Yes. So we got this from Robin on Instagram. She said, when I had a hyperemesis gravitarium from week four to 39, my mom, oh God, from week four to 39, Robin, I am so sorry. Oh, Robin, I'm so sorry. For people who don't know, hyperemesis means you're throwing up constantly throughout your pregnancy. more than the average person. It's like, it's this really serious medical condition. So she says, when she had hyperemesis, my mom told me that I wouldn't vomit so much if I wasn't sitting around feeling sorry for myself. Oh, okay. That's what causes it. If only we knew. Oh, come on, mom. That's totally unhelpful, mom. I want to call her mom and give her a little lecture on what hyperemesis is because that is terrible. Yeah. Yeah. Robin, send us her number.

We're going to give your mom a call. That's right. That's right. OK, so let's move on from that. Shanna, you actually have a interesting story from before you were pregnant with Cece that you want to share, right? Yes, I do. And before it gets started, I do want to say that this story does deal with the mention of miscarriage. So if that's something that you are sensitive to or it's triggering to you in any way, skip through my story and come back for all the other goodies after this one. So as you know, Laura, I had to go through a lot of fertility stuff because we had problems getting pregnant. And the second time around, when I was prepping for IVF, one thing I had to do, part of the infertility process, is go in for a hysterous copy. How you say that? Historoscopy. It sounds like I'm going to do my etymology here. I'm guessing you get a hysterectomy, which is a...

I mean, you're not getting one, but a hysterectomy is when you take out the uterus, right? So I'm guessing a historoscopy or scopy or however you pronounce this, scopy, is when you look into your uterus. Is that right? And then ovaries and stuff. Yeah. So the doctor inserts almost like a little balloon and fills up your uterus with saline so that they can get that scope in there and look around. They check your fallopian tubes and make sure that both of them are open because sometimes that can lead to fertility problems. And they look around your uterus and see if there's any problems or complications with what's going on in there. So my doctor, my reproductive endocrinologist, who I really loved, sent me to this procedure before anything else. And there's a different doctor at the practice that specializes in this. So I had to make an appointment to go see him.

I don't remember his name. We'll call him Dr. Z.

I don't know why. Dr. Z. Dr. Z. And so he does the procedure and it was okay. Sometimes it could be really painful because, you know, putting anything into your cervix is just a complete nightmare. Yes. I mean, the first time I got my IUD pre-baby, I was just like, oh God, terrible pain. So this sounds way worse. The first time I got this done when I was prepping for getting pregnant with Al. It was so bad that I almost threw up. I mean, it was horrible pain. This time, Dr. Z is, I can tell already, he's just super experienced, super, I don't want to say cavalier, but just like he's been there done this a million times. Confident. Confident, but confident, but also a little bit, there's no big deal, kind of attitude, you know, it's like. Blase. Blase is a good word. Yeah. So I'm like, is this going to hurt? He's like, oh, you had a kid already.

That's, you're probably all stretched out or something like that. I was like, okay. Well, first of all, I had a C-section, so I don't know about that. But I think he was right. It didn't hurt going in. Good. Yeah. They did the scope. I see on this screen what he was looking at, which looked like just a complete garbled mess to me. I don't know what is going on. And he's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. There's a little polyp right there. And I was really surprised. to learn that information, I didn't think that was going to be the outcome of this procedure because I had had a miscarriage about a month earlier and I had a DNC where they go in and remove the fetus and kind of like whatever. So I clean out, make sure there's no remaining placental or fetal tissue that could cause infection or right, that sort of thing. Yes. And, you know, having a DNC, at least for me, was a very big deal.

It was the second one I'd had and it's emotional, et cetera. And so I mentioned to Dr. Z, you know, after the procedure was over, I was like, you know, I'm kind of surprised I have a polyp in there because I just had a DNC and I thought they would have You know, I thought they might have taken care of something like that while they were in there. Found it, or at least mentioned it, right? Yeah, found it or mentioned it. And so, Blase, he's like, ugh, DNC's. Basically what they do is just stick a vacuum up there and go, just suck everything out all fast. Oh my god. horrified. I was just like, you just told a woman who had a DNC not so long ago that they just crudely stick a vacuum up in your uterus and go and like suck around and with no precision is basically what he said. I mean, I was just like wide eyed and like. Is this in the middle of the procedure? This was afterwards. Okay.

Yeah, I guess that makes it better. You know, I was standing next to him with my hospital gown and like no underwear. Marginally better than like having a scope in your uterus at that time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So he was just looking right at me. It's like not. It's not like he's preoccupied by a screen or anything. He's just looking right at me. And he's like waving his hand around like it's a freaking vacuum. I mean, it was so harsh. And I don't think he intended to hurt my feelings or, you know, make it sound so crude. That's just such a factual thing for him being in medicine for so long or something. And just not the best bedside manner, obviously, to just put that out there like that. And I was like, Okay, I guess I'll trust you that I have a polyp. Oh my God. Yeah. I mean, I have to say, so I grew up around doctors because my parents were doctors and all their friends were doctors.

Like literally all their friends were doctors because that's how it works. You only spend time with other doctors. So I understand the, I understand that personality very well. I've been around it a lot and I understand how That's kind of how they talk to each other. But that is still a very fucked up thing to say to a patient like extremely and they should know better than to say that like he should have known better because that is it's one thing if it's a, I don't know, like something that doesn't have the emotional weight of, you know, you had a DNC because you had a miscarriage. It's not like you were just like going in for your regular checkup or whatever, you know, it's like, so much emotional connection to what happened and then to take something like that and be so insensitive about it really, really sucks. I'm sorry, Shanna, that's... Thank you.

So he rubbed me the wrong way, obviously. I was so glad he was not my doctor. He could have put it so much better, right? It's like, oh, they're not really that precise when they do that procedure. Boom, end of story. But what I think happened is that maybe also I insulted him by questioning his findings. You know, it's not like I was like, there's no way there's a polyp inside. Like I wasn't rude at all. I was just like, I'm surprised because they were up in my uterus recently. They were all up in that shit.

Yeah.

It should be required that they have some kind of like emotional intelligence to deal with their patients because it's so much of it is psychological. I mean, I'm not saying it's psychological, the infertility, the fact of infertility, but so much of like dealing with it and trying to go through it. It has such a psychological burden. Mm-hmm. That it's just like mind-blowing to me that a doctor could be that insensitive, so. Yes. And to your point, this office that I went to goes so far as to put a sign up near the front desk that says, if at all possible, please leave your children with childcare outside of the waiting room because they know that people seeing babies and young children, it can be

just so sensitive to someone who's going through something so hard. So I know that the office itself really takes it seriously and cares about it. This reminds me of how my doctor, both times I've gotten pregnant, has given me a little talk about being sensitive when announcing it to friends and family. I talked about this on the show but I always felt like that was such a cool thing he did because even though like I bet there's a lot of patients who are kind of annoyed by that talk because they're like what I'm excited to be pregnant I want to tell everyone. But I found it really really telling that he was like he took the time to remind me that not everyone's as lucky and. And that a lot of people are struggling and not to do anything that might rub it in basically. I was so thoughtful of him. So yeah. Aw, he's the best. Anyway, Dr. Z sucks. Dr. Z sucks.

So real quick, what happened with the polyp though? Good question. After that, I had to make an appointment for surgery to get the polyp removed. because you don't want anything like that in your uterus if you're about to embark on IVF, IUI, you want your uterus to be as pristine as possible. Because polyps can prevent the implantation of embryos. You want it nice and shiny and clean in there. Yes, that was an unexpected bump in my fertility journey. Yeah, okay. And so that's my story. Wow. I'm so mad at that doctor. I'm mad at Robin's mom. I'm mad at your doctor. I guess that's the theme of this segment, right? How many people can we be mad at? Yes. Well, okay, let's kind of lighten things up because we might get mad at this person, but I think it will also make our listeners laugh. So let's hear this voice memo from Kali next. Yes.

I've just been waiting to run across a pregnant woman. And now you're here and it's fate. And I didn't feel like it was my destiny that day to pee on her pregnancy test. So I quickly Scraped out of the bathroom after politely declining to accept her offer. I rushed to my table where my sister, who was also very pregnant, was sitting, warned her not to go in the bathroom unless she wanted to be accosted by some chick who was looking for a pregnant lady to take a test for her. And yeah, I don't regret not taking her test. I do regret not asking more questions, but hopefully listeners think this is as weird as I thought it was. But hopefully listeners don't think I'm some awful person for not giving this chick her so desired BFP that day. But I just just wasn't into it. So anyways, thought I would share. Love the podcast. Y'all keep the great episodes coming. Oh my God.

The only drug test you're passing is the HCG test. And I think you're failing it when you pee on a stick. And then my other thought was this is the only other thought I had, which is it could be like a weird scavenger hunt thing. Like people do that for bachelorette parties I've heard is like they try to get someone with a positive pregnancy test. But, you know, she said she'd been carrying it around for a really long time. So. Yeah. Well, maybe that was part of her ruse, part of her story or really bad story that leaves us wanting. What if also we've talked about this before, I think maybe she was like trying to sell positive pregnancy tests on Craigslist and just is trying to gather up as many as she can. Maybe. Wow, that's possible. Yeah. Anyway, Cal, you've left us with a real mystery and a really good, they said what? So thank you for sending that in. So good.

Okay, so Shanna, let's read some more of our listener submissions. What do you got for me? Okay, yes. Here's one from Pierre. Pierre said, when I was still pregnant with my third baby, our friend mentioned that she couldn't wait until next summer so that we could have drinks by the pool. I half jokingly said, yeah, if I'm not pregnant again. And she looked at me and said, if you have any more kids, I'm not going to be your friend anymore.

What? Pierce said, I still don't know whether she was joking or not, but I'm now legitimately considering having another baby as soon as possible. Hello. Just despite your friend. Oh, man. Talk about unconditional friendship. Right? I'm so curious if that friend had any kids. Oh, definitely no, right? I would say definitely no. Although, Laura, if you went on and started having like four or five babies, I just don't know if I could deal. Sure, but it would sustain the podcast for so long. Oh, it would. All right, I give you permission to have multiple children. OK. OK, do you have another one for us? Yeah, so Crystal on Instagram said, someone at the doctor's office asked why my two month old wasn't wearing a mask. two month old. Could you even imagine what is it like the size of a cotton ball? I mean, come on people. I mean, first of all, super dangerous, right?

Like there's a reason why there's all these safe sleep guidelines. You can't put a mask on a two month old and people need to learn that these like CDC guidelines say kids under two are not supposed to be wearing masks. Like we just started with my almost two year old, but like You know, he's verbal. He's very physically able. He can tell me if he's having trouble with it. A two-month-old. Yeah. Well, maybe that's what they thought by hearing children under two. They're like, children under two months. Oh, maybe. Are free from masks. I'm all about, you know. I'm glad people are asking about masks because I think it should be normal to ask, like, can you please put on a mask on, especially when you're indoors, but like now with the tiny baby, oh my god. I know, a newborn baby who's only been breathing the outside air for 40 days or whatever. Totally. Yeah, 60, I can math.

You can math, yes. Math good. Math good. Anyway, let's take a little bit of a break and let's come back and we want to wrap up with all of our listener submissions. Let's do it.

So here's another voice memo we have. This one's from Cecilia. I'm gonna play it now.

My sister-in-law and my best friend were able to help host for us even though we weren't there and after a few days we came back home and my aunt who attended the party had posted pictures and what she posted on the picture On Facebook caption was oh Unfortunately baby and couldn't make it to the baby shower So it's gonna be Our other baby niece baby L and she was a star of the day I You know being the first time mom or a new mom of that week I was just so frustrated I was Basically piss like why why would you say something like that? Like you know why like we couldn't be there and To this day, I haven't really confronted her about it. Like why would you say almost like guilt-tripping us like oh so you couldn't come to your own party? Okay, that's fine. We have another baby to fawn over and I just thought it was a bit insensitive, you know, she never I mean she didn't come to me and

apologize for what she said so she probably didn't think she said anything wrong or maybe she meant it in a joking way but you know I wouldn't know I was just like you know what I'm gonna drop it I don't have enough time and energy to deal with you I have a baby to take care of so yeah that's my story I love your show guys I've been listening for a while now and I really hope you know you continue your podcast for Eon to come That's so nice. Eons.

OK, so we've got a bunch more responses from Instagram. So Shanna, you want to read the next one? I do. This is from Lindsay. I was like 10 weeks pregnant and not showing. Maybe bloated, but the front desk receptionist at my work asked me if I was pregnant and I was so caught off guard. I hadn't told anyone outside of my family. I stammered and said, yes, but actually not telling anyone yet. And she said verbatim. Oh honey, you can tell. No. No. Who says that? You are not. OK. Basic rule of thumb, unless a woman is an active laborer and says the baby is coming, do not ask them. That baby has to be crowning. Yes, if they are pregnant. But to say, oh, you can tell. Like how exactly? Like, I feel like there's some women who might say that because they think they're psychic and can tell. But it does kind of just come off as like, oh, you don't look so good.

Exactly, because first trimester is just synonymous with being tired and nauseous, so to be like, I can tell. Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot. That reminds me of the time I was shopping at Target, and I was about 10 weeks pregnant, and I was shopping in the bras and underwear section, and a worker came up to me and was like, oh, you must be looking for the maternity bras. And I was like, uh, yeah, actually, but oh my God, how could you tell? And I obsessed over that for a while. I just feel like that's so presumptuous. Also, after I had my first baby, my stomach looks like the way it looked at 12 weeks, sort of perpetually. Right. I think that's terrible. I mean, they guessed right. They did, luckily. At that time, I mean, how many people have they guessed wrong with? That's the real question. No, it is. Lord, we have more stories. Oh, yes, we do.

So Kelsey on Instagram wrote, my hub's creepy uncle said, pregnancy does beautiful things to a woman's body. Oh, that makes me cringe. No, thank you, creepy uncle. No, thank you. And actually, this kind of ties into a similar thing we got from cat on Instagram. My dad told me I should look into my baby's eyes and completely focus on her while breastfeeding. So that means no candy crush. Otherwise, there was a high chance of my girl becoming anorexic. Where's the connection there? Okay, here's what she said. She said that he said because she wouldn't feel quote valued by me during her meals. I had and I had to remind him I breastfeed eight times per day for about 40 minutes. Big eye roll emoji there. I'm with you, Kat. Man-splitting about breastfeeding is the worst. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

And to put that much pressure on a new mom, like if you don't do it right, your baby is going to have a huge problem later on in life because of you. Yeah. Like a really serious eating disorder. Like it's not something to be flipping about, you know? I mean, he might have been like, your kid's going to get cancer if you don't. whisper sweet nothings in its ear as if you breastfeed, you know? I know. It's so unrelated, so mansplaining. I'm so sorry, Cat. I hope you gave your dad a real talking to. Yes, exactly. But, you know, I feel like, again, the general rule is, men, let's try to keep the comments to ourselves for the most part. If in doubt, just don't say it. Just don't say it. Speaking of which, Laura, I have another They Said What. Oh, yeah. I want to hear your story. OK. Well, this one's going to blow your mind. Uh-huh. Because the They Said What is that they said nothing. Whoa.

Whoa, trippy. OK, here's the story. So when we moved into this house, there's a lady that lives next door. She lives alone. She's a little bit older. And she looks like just the sweetest little grandma. But that lady hates the shit out of my family. I still am not 100% sure why. But she says things like, oh, you act like the king and queen of the neighborhood. And just always is kind of staring at us. She just doesn't like us. She once said, I don't ever want to talk to you ever again. So that's where we stand with her. I'll call her Judy. You guys are so unlikable. I mean, I really get it.

Yeah, we're really just terrible, terrible neighbors. Oh, I would kill to have you guys as neighbors. Oh my god, that would be so fun. I know. It would be so fun. But I want to hear your story. We digress. So that's just a little backstory. And what I really want to say is that, you know, my daughter, Elle, four years old, is extremely friendly. She loves people. She just says hi to everybody she passes for the most part. And she loves this Judy lady. And so every time we go out and we see her pulling out her trash or whatever, she's like, hi, Judy. And waves at her. And Judy stops, stares at Elle and says nothing, glares at her. I mean, I just don't understand how you could look at Elle and her sweet little face and her completely innocent and good natured hello and say nothing. It's almost impressive. Like, I almost am impressed by her because that takes a lot of willpower.

That takes some great willpower, yeah. Wow, it just really blows my mind and it's not like it's happened once. It happens over and over and sometimes she'll stop and glare at her. Sometimes she'll just keep on doing her whatever and act like she hasn't even heard a thing. Not even look at us, not anything. Wow. It's weird. You got to be a grade A curmudgeon for something like that. A real Grinch. Yeah. Yeah. I think she is. So wait, what does Elle do when that happens? Oh, she doubles down on the friendliness. Judy! Hi, Judy. I like your dress.

She's the best. But not because she's trying to get a rise out of her, just because she's trying to get the lady's attention and trying to get that hello that she's used to getting from people. You know, I think we finally, I think Elle's finally kind of figured out that Judy's not gonna say hi back. So she's not as enthusiastic anymore, but yeah, for a long time. It was just like, Judy.

Wow.

All right, let's move on. What do we have next? Okay, we have Samantha writing in. She said, my they said what was just the other day. I am currently 33 weeks pregnant and I was at the grocery store. I picked up some formula just to have on hand and a lady walked past me, looked at the formula in my cart and told me I wouldn't need it. Excuse me. How do you know, Randall lady? Okay. There's so many layers of bad on this because like, first of all, there's all this like subtext of like, breast is best and all this stuff. And you know, our show, we're very much on the fed is best bandwagon. There's so many reasons people may not pursue breastfeeding or they try and it doesn't work. I mean, there's so many valid reasons to not end up breastfeeding your kid. including, you know, adoption, surrogacy, all that stuff, right? Right.

But on top of that, like, there are medical reasons and you don't, like, there's no way she can look at someone and know whether they're actually gonna be able to breastfeed. That's absolutely bonkers. Mm-hmm. It's so rude. Can you imagine if she said that to someone shopping, like, in the soup aisle? Like, someone has a can of soup in their hand and she just walks by and she's like, you shouldn't buy that. I mean, it's just... You're not going to eat that tomato soup.

Oh, in any other context, it's especially wild. But in this one, it's just incredibly rude and ignorant. And I'm so sorry that she said that to you. And I hope it didn't make you insecure in any way. Yeah. And also, I should point out that I am very much team Samantha on this because even though listeners know that I had a pretty straightforward breastfeeding journey or still am having a breastfeeding journey, I did have formula in the house. And I always tell new parents or pregnant people like have formula in the house just in case because you really don't know what's going to happen. You don't know if you're going to have supply issues or there's a latch issue or you have to take medicine because of a complication that you know makes it so that your breast milk isn't safe for the baby. Yes. When I was postpartum, I ended up having that really high blood pressure scare, if you recall.

And we thought I might have to go to the ER. And while we had formula, we didn't have water for the formula. And was your water shut off? Well, no. So we all thought we needed that. At the time, we were all a little, you know, sleep deprived and scared of like that. I was going to have a stroke because of my high blood pressure. True, true. Okay, I give you a pass. My mom was like, you need special water. And we didn't think to Google it that you don't actually need special water. But like, so Corey had to run to the drugstore at like 11pm to pick up like the special filtered formula water, which like by the way, apparently you don't actually need. Is it like distilled water or something they sell in the formula section? Yeah, it's like way overpriced water basically that's like purified. I think it might be distilled whatever it is. It's like sterile basically sterile water.

So you don't actually need it. It turns out you can. We also realized later, he could have just bought the premixed formula, those single use bottles. Anyway, you live and you learn. But the point is you don't want to be running to the store at 11 o'clock at night when you have some kind of emergency to pick up formula. So just have some in the house. It doesn't hurt anyone. And then you can give it away. If you don't need it, you give it away on your Buy Nothing group, and someone will be really happy. This is true. That's a hot item. Yeah. OK. We have some more. Shanna, you want to? Take the next one. Yes, we have a couple Instagram story responses. This one is from Kate. She says, my daughter is biracial. When I was pregnant, someone asked me what color she will be. Eye roll emoji. I think the eye roll emoji was definitely the most used emoji in our responses that we got. Yes.

Big eye rolls to all these things people say. Well, that is extremely inappropriate. There's just so much to say about that. I can't believe someone would say that to you. Yeah. 2020, or maybe it wasn't 2020. But yeah, people should know better around this time. People should know better. I agree. Do people know about this, Laura? This is from Laura, not you. Another Laura, she says, someone told me, if I carried my bag from the hardware store, the umbilical cord would strangle the fetus. Where does that come from? What are they talking about? That's like an old wives tale shit, right? Like, you're not supposed to put your arms over your head because the umbilical cord will wrap around the fetus and... Oh, right. All this, yeah. But none of it's true. Carrying heavy things, that must be something. Yeah. Unless your doctor tells you otherwise, you're fine, Carrie.

You're back from the hardware store and the problem is not going to be the umbilical cord. Yeah, true. Like your bath might get tweaked, but other than that. Okay, so I think we have one last one. This is a good one. I love it. Laura, why don't you read this for us? Yeah, we wanted to end on this because this one is just pretty cute. Okay. So Mary wrote to us on Facebook, I worked at a school while pregnant with my daughter. And when I was about 35 weeks along, a little boy from another class walked up to me at the playground and said, I know why your belly is so big. I expected him to say something about me being pregnant. But instead he said emphatically, it's because you eat too much candy. I thought at first he was joking and said, no, it's because I have a baby in my belly. And he looked really seriously at me and said, you're having a baby?

And then for the rest of the school year, he would walk up to me in awe and say, you're having a baby and touch my belly. That's so cute. I love the idea that he thinks like a belly is big as 35 weeks along. Just be like from Skittles and Snickers. He's so cute. It's just like you literally just that day, eight, 10 pounds of candy expanded. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So cute. And the innocence of little kids. If an adult said that to you, you'd be like, step back. That is rude. But I don't know. It's just so cute with little kids. Yes, the context is really cute and the fact that he fell in love with that idea afterwards and just was excited about it and kept touching the belly. And also that's like the only person who can touch your pregnant belly isn't adorable little five year old or however old this kid was. Yeah, I was thinking five for some reason.

It just seems like the right age for this sort of thing. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I think so. Well, my toddler, you know, my stomach is getting really big now. And the last few weeks, every time I see him first thing in the morning, he says, mama. And then he goes, baby brother. And he wants to give like baby brother a kiss. Oh. And it's just the sweetest thing. And of course, I like push really hard to get him to give hugs and stuff. I just like, yeah, you want to give him another kiss? You want to give him another hug? You want to feel him kick? I'm like, I just love you snuggling with my baby bump. It just warms the heart. It's so sweet. That's so cute. I love it. Well, Laura, I think that's all we have for this very special bonus episode. Yes. Let's wrap it up. Thanks for listening, everyone. Yeah, thank you. And thank you, everyone, who shared your stories. They were wonderful.

If you have a story of they said what that you want to share with us, we are always accepting submissions. And I know we'll do another one of these at some point in the future. So bring them on. Laura, where can they reach us? We're on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at thefppodcast. We have a website, bigfatpositivepodcast.com. If you wanna send us a voice memo with your they said what or any other comments or just send us an email, you can reach us at contact at bigfatpositivepodcast.com. Finally, join our Facebook community group. It's a private group, just search Big Fat Positive Community, answer the two membership questions, and we'll send you right through to all the really great and funny and heartwarming and Just amazing conversations we're having in there.

And our favorite they said what's in the most positive way are your reviews and ratings on whatever platform you listen to us. If you haven't done so yet, please head over and give us a rating and review. We appreciate it so much. And spread the word. Let your friends, family, coworkers, everybody know about the BFP podcast. Our show is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thanks for listening, everyone. Bye. Bye.