2023 Year in Review: Laughs, Struggles and Revelations

Laura

Welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. In this bonus episode, we reflect on 2023, we discuss our highs and lows from the year, and we find out what big revelations Laura and Shanna had about themselves. Let's get started! Hello everyone and welcome to our bonus year end review episode.

Shanna

Shanna, is this our fifth time doing this? I think it is. This is such a BFP tradition. I love doing it every year and I'm so excited to hear what you have to say.

Laura

So for those of you who may not remember or maybe are just jumping in this year, We either do a bonus episode or we included in a regular episode. This year it's a bonus episode where we answer a set of questions that are the same or more or less the same every year to reflect on the previous year. And Shanna, you dug these questions up from somewhere years ago, right?

Shanna

Yes. I think I found a lot of them on some blog, some type of self-help blog. I don't remember what it is now. I added some of my own in there. Yes. And as always, listeners, we encourage you to kind of play along with us as we answer these questions for ourselves over the past year. Think about what you've gone through in the last year and take this time to reflect for yourself on what 2023 was like.

Laura

But we should get right to it so we can start reflecting. I'm going to ask the first question, which is, what was one of the most memorable things that happened this year?

Shanna

Oh, hands down our trip to Hawaii. I mean, from the PowerPoint reveal that Steve put together and us girls screaming on the couch about the trip. do the trip itself, you know, with Al getting strep in the middle in our epic drive across the island to go to urgent care and the club where we ate and drank to our hearts content. I mean, it was just, it was an experience I won't forget. And I'm so happy that we have all of those memories together as a family.

Laura

So awesome.

Shanna

The only downside is that the girls are now constantly begging to go back to Hawaii every year from here on out and go to the clubs. I don't know. We'll see. We'll check in with the money situation.

Laura

Mama's got to really hit that you need a budget, budget real hard for that to happen.

Shanna

Yes, exactly. All right, Laura, what about you? What's one of the most memorable things that happened in your 2023?

Laura

It has to be the writer's strike. It just dominated 2023 for us. It just became such a regular part of life. I mean, it went on how many days? I'm going to have to look it up. It lasted 148 days. That's four months and 25 days. Okay. So from May to September, leading up to it, there was like a whole thing, you know, like Corey knew it was coming or we suspected it was coming. There were votes. There was discussions. Corey was a strike captain, which means that he took a little bit of a leadership role and had some people who were in his team that he helped coordinate, told them when to show up, I think, to pick it and all this stuff. Anyway, it meant that he was more involved this time around than he was last time in 2007, which is when we first met.

Shanna

Right. And he even did daddy camp this summer.

Laura

He did daddy camp this summer with Augie. Yeah, because it was the strike is like, what else are we going to do? So, yeah, it was it was an interesting time. I don't necessarily want to recreate it, but I will say it wasn't all bad. Right. There were there were some silver linings to it. Right. But definitely glad it's over.

Shanna

Yay. OK, Laura, next question. What was your biggest parenting challenge this year?

Laura

You know, I wrote out my answer to this and then I went to go check what I said last year and I was like, oh, it's the same.

Shanna

Oh, no, I didn't check mine against last year. So I hope I'm not repetitive.

Laura

I mean, the truth is a lot of parenting is repetitive. True. It mines a little, I think a little nuance this year. So last year in my notes, at least I said like that it was parenting to big personalities, like at the same time was my biggest challenge. This year, it's a little different in that it's sort of like balancing the kids' needs is really more of my issue. It's not that they both have big personalities, which they do. That's not the issue. It's sort of like, I feel like this year it's just been a constant triage of like trying to figure out which one needs my attention more urgently and sometimes getting it wrong. You know what I mean? And knowing that the result of

Shanna

Right. Well, it is a push and pull. It really depends on context and the situation and you know who might need you emotionally more because they're sick at that moment or they've got you know stuff going on at school or whatever but when it's a situation like this morning for example like Cece just really wanted her milk in the Paw Patrol cup but like Elle claimed it first and I was like well Elle's gonna just have to get the the Paw Patrol cup first, and I know that that's gonna cause CECE to melt down. And it's just like, just because she's gonna have a meltdown that makes my life a little bit harder, because I'm gonna have to listen to her cry and whine. Like, I'm not gonna give in and give it to her, you know? Like, I'm working on that too.

Laura

Yeah. Yeah. So we'll work it on that. How about you? What's been your biggest parenting challenge?

Shanna

Mine is very specific. And it is that week back in April or March where Cici was sick with 105 fevers for like eight days and would not take medicine.

Laura

So hard. Oh, my gosh.

Shanna

And I mean, there was just other stuff going on around that time, like her meltdowns in general were so intense. And then, you know, right after that week, we went to that softball party and like shed that meltdown and I cried and like we left and like that whole chunk of my life was so hard, just so, so, so emotionally draining and took so much parenting power. And I mean, yeah, there's a lot of challenges with parenting, but I just can't stop thinking about how hard that week was.

Laura

Yeah, because I feel like with a lot of parenting challenges, at some point, you can kind of drop the rope, which is the term I got from this TikTok parenting person, Dr. Chelsea. I can't pronounce her last name. So we'll put a link in the show. But Dr. Chelsea, sometimes she says, just drop the rope. It's not important to do this tug of war with your kids. But it's like medicine is one of those times. You can't just drop the rope, essentially. So yeah, that's so tough.

Shanna

Yeah. I'm glad we made it through that one. Now I'm just dreading the next time she gets sick.

Laura

But you know she's older, right? Times have changed. They mature and change.

Shanna

Exactly, it might be better this time.

Laura

Okay, Sean, the next question. What made you laugh the hardest this year?

Shanna

Well, getting a kitten really like made me smile. Yeah. But one of the amazing things about kittens is they are fucking hilarious. I mean, I have laughed so much at Jasmine when she's all like wound up and, you know, playful, zipping around like, doing these funny side hops and her tail puffs up big and like she tries to play with Sasha and I mean it's just it's hilarious to see a little cat just zipping around all crazy as shit. So I have laughed a lot at Jasmine and she has brought a ton of joy to my life this year.

Laura

And you know, if you took videos of those things, that is the gift that keeps on giving. I was literally just watching videos of Cal when he was a baby kitten with Augie. You know, Augie wasn't even born yet, but he was like, I want to see pictures of Cal when he was a baby. And so we're watching some videos of Cal being like a crazy kitten. Jason in his own tail, and we were just laughing, you know, it's five years later.

Shanna

Okay, that's good motivation to do more video. It's hard to capture these fast little cats on video, though zipping around and stuff. It is, it is.

Laura

Oh my God. It's a blur. You need good lighting and slow-mo.

Shanna

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, Laura, what about you? What made you laugh the hardest this year?

Laura

talk about the incident from Augie's school with the nail in the magnet tiles. Did we talk about that on the show?

Shanna

No, that doesn't sound familiar.

Laura

Oh, my God. OK. All right. This is going to sound weird. This is the thing that I've laughed the most at. But I've laughed about it so hard with Corey. I mean, like when we got this. We got this message. We died. And then I've showed it to like so many friends and every time they just die laughing. Okay. And it all started with an incident report, which isn't great, right? When you get an incident report at school, it means something went wrong enough that the teachers need to tell you. And this one came from the director of the school, right? So we're like, oh, shit.

Shanna

Oh my gosh, was this his preschool or TK?

Laura

This was when he was in TK, okay. So this is through the app. It wasn't enough to call, but there was a long message. I feel like I should send you, I'm going to send you a transcript of this because I think you'll find it very funny and I want to hear your reaction.

Shanna

Okay, here we go. Here is a message from the director of the entire school, which is like what? TK to grade five, right? Yeah. So they've got a lot on their plate. Okay. Good afternoon. I'm writing to let you know that there was an incident between Augie and another student in another class while playing with magnetic tiles. The other child found a nail stuck to a tile, and Augie attempted to take it away, saying it was dangerous.

Laura

Okay, good move, good move, Augie. Right? Yeah. I know, I'm proud of him.

Shanna

Yeah. The other child became upset and attempted to scratch Augie. There was no mark left on Augie's skin. The other child sat with me as we worked to de-escalate him. At one point, while waiting in the main office for me to finish with the other child, Augie drew a picture of a nail with a line through it and showed it to the boy through the office window.

Laura

The thing that's so funny to me is I just love his no-nonsense drawing a freaking fingernail and like egging this kid on through the window.

Shanna

He did that. Yes. Like he had this paper. He could have drawn anything in the world. And that's what he did. And then slapped it on the window, like how you like them apples. Exactly. Oh. And the fact that like this director just spells this out like.

Laura

I was a wild message to get it like 2 p.m. like, okay.

Shanna

I just love playing that moment in my head. Like it really feels like it is a movie moment. You know, just like dramatic. Like, I'm going to get you back with this. Like slap it on the window.

Laura

I know.

Shanna

I know.

Laura

And, you know, he, of course, marked about who it was. Like, of course, the school never tells you. But like, I was like, what happened? And he said exactly who it was. And I know it's another TK kid. And so, like, I'm just imagining two little four year olds.

Shanna

So yeah, that's what made me laugh the most this year. Yeah, that's a good one. That is a good one. Okay, next question. What new skill or hobby did you pick up this year?

Laura

So yeah, you know, I love to collect hobbies. This year, the one that I got really excited about was jelly plate printing. I think we talked about it on the show, right? I'm still mastering it. I did the most around Halloween and now I've tried a few more times and had some failures. So I'm going to try again. I just bought new, like, better acrylic paints to try to make it better.

Shanna

Mm-hmm.

Laura

I did that. And then there was this one thing I did for holiday, for Christmas decorations that I'm so proud of, which was I took a Posca paint pen and I drew a wreath on our back bay window. Ooh. Would you like to see a picture? Uh, yeah. Okay, here you go. I'm sorry, you did that with a paint pen? A couple paint pens. There was like a thinner one and a thicker one. But yeah.

Shanna

Wow, that looks like stencil work or something.

Laura

You know, I posted it to Instagram and did not get like any reaction. And then I had to post like the picture again with a comment being like, just so you know, I hand drew this with paint pens and then everyone was like because I was like I acknowledged I was like because I'm thirsty for praise please tell me and then people were like oh my god you I thought it was a stencil or I thought it was a decal and I was like thank you that is the validation I needed.

Shanna

Oh my god I love that you like reposted or edited that. Hell yeah. Get comments. That's amazing. I totally missed it. So I probably did not comment on it. This is amazing. I love it.

Laura

Next year, I want to do one with more color. But now I want to do just sort of seasonal window paintings. So I'm deep in window painting TikTok at this point. Cool. How about you, Shanna? What's a new skill or hobby you picked up this year other than scooping cat poop?

Shanna

Oh yes, that is quite the skill I have mastered. I would say probably like home reno projects, you know, like we redid our bathroom and I redid the fireplace, but specifically about it is like the design element, I guess interior design type stuff. Like I got really into setting it up in Photoshop and like trying out like colors and like You know, cutting out things that I'd find online that I thought would look good and like just making like these dioramas to inspire me. And yeah, just kind of doing all of that. And it's inspiring me to want to do more projects around the house to make things look more aesthetically pleasing.

Laura

Well, I love what you've done. I feel like I have a lot of skills, like crafty skills, but what I lack is sort of that design eye. I just don't have it. And so I'm very much in awe of your ability to visualize what you want in a space. Oh, thank you. So we have some more questions for each other, but I think this might be a good time to take a break and then come back with them. What do you think? Yeah, let's do it.

Shanna

When I was reflecting on this, I thought about things like Oh, Hawaii, taking my kids to Adventure City, you know, the knockoff Disneyland, all the holidays and birthdays we've been through. But to be honest, The thing I really had the most fun doing was redoing that fireplace. I was so engaged to a level that I don't often get to. I just had so much fun looking online for every single little detail to put there and accessorize and the actual doing of it. It's just like, I don't know, clearly that kind of creative project is just my heart and soul. And I'm really sorry to my family that the most fun I had this year did not involve them. But to be honest, I just like really had fun with that project.

Laura

Because you got into a state of flow, it sounds like.

Shanna

Ooh, yeah, I haven't heard that phrase in a long time. Yeah. Yep, yep, yep. All right, what about you? What's the most fun you had this year?

Laura

Okay, I'm splitting it into with kids and without kids. Ooh, smart. So mine are like the more obvious answers of the... With kids category, the most fun we had were, I think, the two trips to Disneyland we took. Not the first one in February where we were trying to go for Sebastian's second birthday. That was a major fail because Augie got super sick. That was not included in this. But we ended up taking two sort of replacement trips for that. One with just the family and then one with us plus my mom. And they were so fun. I had so much fun. I loved it. For that first trip I stayed for the first fireworks. I just I don't know. It was just so magical and so fun. I personally had fun going to Disneyland, you know, wasn't just for the kids. So yeah, loved it, loved it, loved it. And without kids, I was thinking about it.

Shanna

Yeah.

Laura

You know, it was just really nice to like get out of the house and it was opening weekend. And so like the feeling in the movie theater was just like so energized. Everyone was so excited to be there. Everyone was like dressed up in their pinks and they're like neons and not us. We were just like moms who could barely get out of the house on time. But you know, everyone else was. And we just had such a blast. We ended up like standing outside the movie theater talking for like a half hour and it just was I was just laughing. It was so fun. So yeah, that sounds great.

Shanna

All right. Next question. What was the best book you read or show you watched this year?

Laura

OK, so I'll do both for book. It's hard to pick, but the one that's sort of sticking out in my mind is the most memorable is Yellow Face by RF Kwong. Have you heard about this book? No. It might be a little like inside baseball with like writer stuff, publishing stuff. It's really just such a like sharp and interesting and like kind of like cringy book to read because it's basically about a white woman who like steals the novel of a Chinese American woman and there's a lot more to it. But it's written from the perspective of the woman stealing the book. Mm-hmm. It's just so well-written and I really enjoyed it and I think everyone should read it. It's also a really fast read. I listen to it, of course. I don't think I've read, read a book this year with my eyes, which is something I want to work on. With my eyes! I read most of my books with my ears.

Shanna

Right, right.

Laura

Yeah, yeah. And then the show that is sticking out in my memory the most is Evil. On paramount plus evil i don't know what it is so it was originally on cbs and we watched it cori and i watched it when it was first on cbs and then i think it took like a really long break because the pandemic and stuff and then it reappeared on paramount plus. And it's one of those shows where like when we watched it on CBS we kept being like I cannot believe the show like they're letting the show on the air like this is this is like really actually dark like actually kind of scary. It's it's a really interesting procedural because it's like the premises there's a psychiatrist that is hired by the Catholic Church. to investigate possible demonic possessions and stuff. So it's her, a guy who's about to become a priest. And then they add in a tech guy.

Shanna

Did the show get edgier when it went to streaming?

Laura

it did yeah definitely some f bombs being dropped and like well it basically just you can tell that they just were like able to do whatever the fuck they wanted yeah like they're like oh yeah so demons really are real we're just going to make them like be part of the world it's it's so unhinged in a like completely fascinating way but you also get like the kind of comfort of a procedural where like every episode they solve a thing, you know. So yeah, even I am really affected by scary shit. Like I couldn't watch The Walking Dead. I have to be very careful about what I watch. And for some reason, this does not affect my nightmares or anything. So.

Shanna

Oh, yeah. It's a bonus.

Laura

Yeah. It doesn't hurt also that everyone in it is super attractive.

Shanna

Ooh, yeah. Some eye candy is nice. The lead, she's beautiful.

Laura

The guy who's studying to be a priest is super attractive. So, yeah. And that's part of the plot too. It's like hot priest. Got to love a hot priest. Isn't that the whole premise of Fleabag? Oh, yeah.

Shanna

Yeah. More or less. Hot priest. I googled hot priest show and a fleabag came up. So, yeah.

Laura

Truly my apologies to our Catholic listeners. So, okay, Shanna, how about you? Best book, best show?

Shanna

Well, we all know I don't read much. I did read one book this year. I think I've already mentioned it on the show. I read where the crawdads sing and that was very good. I haven't finished any other books. So I will quickly pivot over to TV. Oh, yeah. Steve and I started watching a show recently that's been around for a little while, but I'd never heard of it. I absolutely love it. I'm like, how is this show flown under the radar for so long? It's a comedy called The Other Two. Have you heard of it?

Laura

Oh my god. It's like my favorite show that's ever existed and I'm so sad. Wait, are they not more?

Shanna

Don't give me any spoilers because I'm not done yet. I'm only at the end of season two, so I don't know anything.

Laura

Okay, good. You have more. Yeah. It's just perfect. It's just perfect. It's a perfect show and I love it so much.

Shanna

I love it. I love it. I'm laughing out loud every episode. It's just, it's great. Okay. So anyway, right now it's on Max. It started originally on Comedy Central in 2019 and the premise. I'm reading this from Wikipedia so I can get you the straight info. A gay aspiring actor, Carrie, played by Drew Tarver and his sister, Brooke, played by Helene York. a former professional dancer, try to find their place in the world while wrestling with their feelings about their 13-year-old brother Chase's sudden rise to internet fame. It is fabulous. This brother, Chase, he's like a young Justin Bieber type, right? Like super-duper-duper cute. Yeah, his stage name is Chase Dreams, which is so hilariously like on the nose. And these two older siblings who are in their 20s are just kind of like floundering while this like,

Laura

All right. You need to text me immediately when you get to the end of the final episode. OK. OK. I will. I will.

Shanna

Dude, when you find a show that good, you got to tell me right away. I'm like, I can't believe I didn't know about this show.

Laura

I feel like I was telling everyone about it in 2019, but it was like on Comedy Central. And I don't know if you could stream it, you know what I mean? Like we had it on our DVR. And then, yeah, so I, yeah, I think, I think I did probably tell people, but it wasn't the same, you know, wasn't available everywhere. But yes, now you know, now none of you can say listening out there in podcast land that you haven't heard about it. Okay, Sean, our next question. If you could travel back to the beginning of the year, what advice would you give yourself?

Shanna

Okay, pivot to a more serious question here.

Laura

Watch the other two.

Shanna

Yeah, exactly. Watch the other two immediately. No, I think that I would tell myself to keep being patient with CeCe and her emotional regulation that it's gonna get worse before it gets better. I think that last year I was like, I'm looking forward to 2023, the year where CeCe's emotional regulation like evens out and blah, blah, blah, and it really got worse before it got better. It's gotten a lot better. And I'm so grateful for the patience that I was able to put in and the time I was able to put in and those hard moments, but When I was in those hard moments, I didn't know if it was ever going to end. I was losing my mind, like, what's wrong? What's going on with her? And I wish I just had a little bit more insight into, like, OK, this is just something she's going to go through and it'll get better. Yeah. What about you?

Laura

probably that I should chill out a bit and trust my gut about the school situation, like picking a school for Augie. I just was so stressed out about it for so long. And you know, it's easy to say in retrospect, like, oh, just trust your gut and everything is going to work out. But like, there was a lot of worry that was kind of unnecessary and a lot of back and forth that was unnecessary. And if I just listened to my gut to begin with, I wouldn't have gone through the whole enrollment process with the dual language immersion situation. And, you know, knowing that this art school is more even though he doesn't participate in performing arts, he, you know, he's really thriving there, I think. So, yeah, I just wish I could tell myself to chill out a bit about that because that was a very long stress that I didn't need.

Shanna

Yeah, for sure. Okay, next question. What are you most proud of this year?

Laura

You know, I was thinking about it and I feel like really the thing I'm feeling the best about right now is that I'm a lot less overwhelmed right now than I was this time last year. And I can just tell generally my mood is better because of it. Like I'm just not feeling as Irritable towards Corey or the kids. I'm not feeling like everything is, you know, overwhelming and I'm drowning in all my tasks and stuff. And honestly, I mean, I think the biggest thing is just time, you know, like this time last year was just a few months after my dad's death and things were really, you know, I was really like in the grief of it.

Shanna

That's a great analogy. Well, that's wonderful. No, I'm so glad that you're feeling less overwhelmed and, you know, you're working through the grief and doing therapy and working on yourself in that way. That makes me so happy.

Laura

Aw, thanks friend. How about you? What are you most proud of this year?

Shanna

Keeping up with budgeting this whole year, I mentioned last year that I started you need a budget and trying to understand our finances better because I've been a mess with finances my whole life. And finally, I was like, not going to do it anymore. And usually when I start stuff like this, I don't follow through. But I've kept it up. I've been following through. It's not perfect. Our budgeting is not perfect, but it's way better than it was last year. And so I'm really proud that I set aside money for Christmas and birthday parties and stuff like that. So I'm pretty proud of that.

Laura

I think that's awesome. I feel like as long as I've known you, money's been a stress. And I do feel like we've talked about it less this year.

Shanna

Yeah. Yeah. So that's nice.

Laura

Okay. One more question before a break. I want to know, Shanna, what was your favorite episode of our podcast, Big Fat Positive, a pregnancy and parenting journey this year that we did?

Shanna

You know, I think we always end up with the same answer to this one. And so I'm so curious if we've got the same answer again this year. This was an easy one for me. It was the episode where you told the story about getting that baby ostrich on beat with your family. I loved it so much. I still can't believe I've known you so long and never heard that story. I loved hearing it for the first time. It was hilarious. It was amazing. And the parenting takeaway was like, chef's kiss, perfect. I loved it.

Laura

I do have that written down, but I didn't make it my official answer because I thought that was self-involved. But I do have to say the memory and like having the recording of it is just beautiful of nailing that punchline and you laughed so hard you like almost blew out the mic. That is like such an achievement as a storyteller. So I was so proud of that for sure.

Shanna

Yes. Yeah.

Laura

That was a fun one. That was episode 281. If anyone needs to go back and listen.

Shanna

Oh, good.

Laura

The one I wrote down that I thought would be a more appropriate answer because it's not just all about me, were episodes 248 and episodes 249 where we interviewed Virginia Sol Smith about her new book, Fat Talk. Yeah. I just really enjoyed. I just love that conversation with her. I think she's so smart. And so just has such a great perspective on everything and also just very funny and easy to talk to. And I just really love those episodes. I thought it was really, really cool that she was able to come on the show. So that was probably my most memorable episodes.

Shanna

Good choice.

Laura

We split it into two because we couldn't stop talking to her.

Shanna

I know. I know. So good. Love her. All right. Well, we have some more questions, but shall we take a break before we move on? Yes, we should.

Laura

OK, so I can't pick one. Sorry. So I picked four.

Shanna

That's OK. Give them all to me.

Laura

Alright, alright. Okay, so then I still listen to the ones I've talked about in the past, okay? So like go back and listen to the other episodes. I'm still keeping those in my rotation, but the new ones that I've been listening to, Hard Fork. Do you listen to Hard Fork, Shanna? No, tell me about it. It's a tech podcast. It's from the New York Times and it's just like two guys talking about the news in the tech world, they're technology reporters so that they're very into the whole world and they have access to like CEOs and whatever in tech companies. But they do a great job of making it relatable and they've done a ton of great reporting on AI and it's honestly the best place I've gone to to understand what's going on with AI. I feel like without hard fork I would be very much like

Shanna

That's really cute. I love when shows can draw listeners into a whole new world, you know? Like that's a real talent because I am not a tech person. And this would initially turn me off, I think, but the fact that you're saying like they have the ability to like make it accessible to everybody, that makes me curious about it. So I will definitely check it out.

Laura

If Jenny Slate loves it, you will too. Yeah. Okay. Then quickly, Burt Toast, which is Virginia Solsmith's podcast. I really enjoy that. That's a good one. Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Oh, yes. Mm-hmm. And the whole premise of that show is she interviews women who are older than her.

Shanna

Mm-hmm.

Laura

And you don't hear a lot from women who are in their 60s, 70s, 80s, right? Like, it doesn't happen. So this is a great platform for that. And Julia Louis-Dreyfus, she's just really good at interviewing and she's just really fun to listen to.

Shanna

Yeah.

Laura

And then finally, my kind of left field suggestion is something I saw on one of these year end lists, best podcasts of the year, blah, blah, blah. And it's this very short series called Night Walking from the podcast Constellation Prize. And it's basically an audio diary about a woman during the pandemic feeling kind of lost who ends up connecting with a poet. The woman is in New York and then Vermont and then the host is. And then the poet is in Utah or New Mexico. You think I would remember because I just listened to it. They decide to embark on a project where they each go walking at night on the same nights looking at the same moon and all that stuff without any Flashlights or anything and just like record and observe what they see and it's a really beautiful Audio essay audio diary. It's it's very narrative even though it's nonfiction.

Shanna

I love it. Those are all great suggestions. Thank you. I love hearing what you're listening to

Laura

Yeah, so I love hearing what you're listening to, so please tell me, even though some of it may be too murdery for me.

Shanna

Recently, a couple of months ago, I think we answered a question about podcasts we've been listening to. So I listed a lot because I've listened to a lot of podcasts this year. That's kind of like just something I've been spending a ton of time doing. So a lot of my true crime, con artist type podcasts I mentioned there. So I'm not going to mention them again. Right now I'm going to actually list a couple new discoveries I've made that I'm really, really loving. Aside from crime podcasts, my other favorite type of podcast is comedy podcasts, which I'm sure I've mentioned before on the show. But I discovered a new one that's called Handsome. And it's hosted by Tig Notaro, Fortune Feemster, and Mae Martin. They're all comedians. And they are so funny. The premise of this one is that one of their famous friends like records a question to ask them.

Laura

I'm a huge Tignantaro fan. So yeah, listen to this. Yeah.

Shanna

Yeah, you really do And the next podcast that I recently discovered is called Imperfect Paradise. And it's a podcast put out by LAist. It's like a website that reports on Los Angeles and California. And this podcast showcases California stories with universal significance. So even though it's focused in California, I think that it could be very interesting to people all over the world. Like this last series that I listened to, it was like a three-part or four-part series they did on the Magic Castle, which is like this very famous like magic.

Laura

It's like this. Okay. So it is a castle. It's shaped like a castle. It's not old. It's in Hollywood. I mean, it might be like from the 30s or something, but It's this very famous, like, magician's institute and private club where magicians, you have to be like a member in order to get in or know a member. It's very exclusive. I've been two times, I think, through the grace of people we know. It's super cool.

Shanna

It's very cool. You can watch close-up magic. There's bigger shows. I've been once and I really liked it. So this particular series that they did on the Magic Castle was focused on a non-binary magician who became a member of the club. And once being a part of the club really started to discover some of the problems with gender equality and lack of inclusivity at the club. And so the series really explores all angles of this institution that is so so cool, but is really been kind of driven by white cis men for all of these years. So it's a really interesting different look at something that's, you know, a big part of Los Angeles culture.

Laura

I feel like a lot of these like exclusive clubs, that's the dark underbelly of it, right? It's like part of the exclusivity is keeping people out and the people they keep out are anyone who's not like them. Yeah. I think I've seen one female magician while I was there.

Shanna

Yeah, that's something they talk about in these episodes is just like the number of women magicians is very, very, very low.

Laura

They ever tell you about how Corey really wanted to take lessons like magic lessons at the magic castle and he bought himself like a package? No. So this happened way before kids. Corey bought himself a four class package, I think, at the magic castle. and was all set to go and super excited. And then his pilot got picked up and he couldn't do it. So he postponed it. The pilot got picked up. They went and shot the pilot. It was a whirlwind of stuff. The pilot didn't end up getting picked up a series. So then he had some time and then I got pregnant and then we had the baby and then the pandemic happened and he never got to use his magic class.

Shanna

No, he should have done it during the writer strike that would have been the perfect time.

Laura

That's a good point he should have but he did not. Anyway, that is super interesting. Can you remind me the name of it?

Shanna

Yeah, it's called Imperfect Paradise.

Laura

Okay, moving on, we just have a few more questions left. This is an introspective question, Shanna. Yes. What did you learn about yourself this year?

Shanna

Okay, I'm gonna bring up something we haven't talked about yet on the show. I've kind of been holding some of this back a little bit, and I'm really curious to see what you think of it. Okay. Okay, it all started a couple months ago. I've been suspecting that one of my children, I won't go into it right now at all, maybe later if and when things pan out, but I've been suspecting that one of my children might have ADHD. And we've talked about that a little bit, Laura, personally. But as a result, I've just tried to learn everything I can about ADHD because I didn't really know what it was. It's just kind of one of those things, you know, when you kind of know and you make assumptions about what it means in the context of like, oh, it's just like, I'm like, I need to learn like what it actually is. So I have been learning a ton. I've been reading books about it.

Laura

That was the test, Shanna. That was the test.

Shanna

Yeah, exactly. I haven't gone around to those yet. So I'm not, like, diagnosed or anything. And I'm not saying that I have it. I don't know for sure. But just like seeing that in myself has just opened up, like, a world of, like, learning about myself and how I've functioned my entire life. especially in my 20s and now into parenthood and how it affects how I parent stuff. So it's been a really interesting journey to kind of like learn that stuff.

Laura

Fascinating. TikTok thinks I have ADHD. They think I might also be autistic. What do you mean? Well, you know how the algorithm is, right? Yeah. It feeds you what you think you need.

Shanna

Yes, totally. And that's exactly how I'm approaching it. Information that might help me understand my strengths and weaknesses as a mom and as a human.

Laura

Yeah, definitely. Well, you'll have to let us know how that goes when you finally take those tests.

Shanna

Yes. Even when I ever get around to it, I will definitely let you know. All right, what about you? What did you learn about yourself this year?

Laura

You know, I think my biggest aha moment that has come with therapy is that my therapist said something as I was complaining about my overwhelming to-do list and not feeling I have enough time for things and, you know, that, you know, broken record situation and feeling like, where do I make the time, blah, blah, blah, blah. She said this thing to me. She's like, you know, the way you're talking about productivity is the way a lot of people talk about calories. And if you, I know, right? That if you, you know, someone who's dieting and really entrenched in diet culture, they talk about the trade-off. Like, well, if I eat this cupcake, then I'm going to spend an hour on the treadmill to earn it or whatever. She's like, that's how you talk about tasks, but also your free time.

Shanna

Yeah. Well, I love that. And that's definitely something to think about and continue moving forward with working on.

Laura

Yes, and I will probably talk about it more on the podcast if I ever figure it out.

Shanna

Yes, please do. Okay, next question. What three words sum up your year?

Laura

Okay, I'm cheating a little bit. Okay, technically four words. It's hurry up and wait. Oh, a whole phrase. OK, tell me more about this. I just feel like this year has just been like these sprints of getting things done and then waiting around for results, you know, or like the, you know, the lead up to the strike was just like, oh, what's going to happen? What's going to happen? What's going to happen? And then it was, you know, nearly five months of waiting to see what's going to happen. And then there was like the school decision, you know, it was like, oh, rushing to get all these applications and do all this stuff. And then we have to wait to find out where we get it. And then we have to wait to see if we get off wait lists and all that stuff. Right.

Shanna

So true.

Laura

How about you? What three words or more, I guess, since I cheated, you could cheat too, so I'm up your year.

Shanna

Well, I just made a list of three words, tumultuous, scattered, and snuggly. Okay. Yeah, tumultuous just because of... CECE is emotional to malt, the big emotions, the meltdowns, you know, it's just been up and down, up and down, scattered just because my brain does feel scattered lately, especially like juggling work and parenting and everything. And snugly because CECE has just come through all of the emotional to malt to become so Snuggly and I've just like really gotten just like so close with her and I mean L2 for sure. You know, I always get my nightly snuggles with my cutie pies. And yeah, that's just been a consistent part of the year.

Laura

I love that. I mean, I love the snuggly probably more than the rest of it, but yeah. For sure. Oh, Shanna, we've gotten to the final question. Oh. Which is what are you most looking forward to in 2024?

Shanna

Okay. I am looking forward to doing more stuff for myself. I think when I was reflecting on this last year, there's a couple of questions we cut out. It's like, what did you do for yourself this year? And it's like, oh, not much. You know, I really like didn't do a good job of keeping up with like, the things I know I love that help me feel good, you know, just like walking, exercising, seeing friends, being social, getting out of the house. So just a lot of stuff I've really been dropping the ball on because I'm taking care of other people because I've been like having so many migraines and chronic pain and stuff and was sick few times this year. Like just I was letting a lot of that overshadow kind of my own self care and needs. So I'm really wanting to focus in 2024 on

Laura

Mine are so practical. But like, you know, I kind of went with my gut on this answer. And the first one was that Sebastian's preschool was going to be cheaper when he turned three in February. Well, that is something to look forward to. Yeah, they charge a surcharge for two year olds and I get it like diapers and blah, blah, blah. Yeah, they're harder. But so like our childcare costs are going to be the lowest since they started school, which is going to be great. And then also I'm looking forward to getting rid of diapers for good. Like we're going to at some point get Sebastian out of diapers and that'll be great. That'll be cool to not have to buy diapers anymore. So, it's a low bar to clear this year, but that's what I'm looking forward to in 2024.

Shanna

Awesome. I see success in your year ahead, Laura.

Laura

Yeah, set retainable goals, that's what I say.

Shanna

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Maybe I should amend mine and be like, I look forward to taking one walk in 2024.

Laura

All right, well, this has been super fun, Shanna. I love doing this episode every year and I'm looking forward to a fun 2024 with you, Shanna.

Shanna

Yes, I always love these two, Laura. Thanks for sharing your answers with me. Thank you for sharing your answers with me and all our listeners. Yes, and listeners, if you have any thoughts, comments, or feedback on this episode or anything else, we would love to hear from you. Laura, where can everyone find us? We are on TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook at BFP Podcast.

Laura

We have a website, BigBatPositivePodcast.com, and an email address, contact at BigBatPositivePodcast.com. And finally, if you want to get some exclusive content from me and Shanna, and you want to join the coolest group of people on the internet, I'm not lying. Just go to Facebook and search Big Fat Positive Community. It's a private group, so you have to answer those two membership questions or else we won't know that you're not a robot. But once you do that, you'll be sent straight through to the amazing, wonderful community we have in there.

Shanna

Our show is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thanks for listening, everyone. Have a big, fat, positive 2024. Bye. Bye.