2020 Year in Review: Laughs, Challenges and Hopes

Shanna

Hi, welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. On this very special bonus episode, Laura and I are gonna look back on 2020, and we talk about pizza, podcasts, parenting challenges, and so much more. Let's get started. Hi everyone! This is our year-end bonus episode where we are going to ask each other some questions that are a retrospective of the past year. We did this last year too, right Laura?

Laura

Yes we did, although it seems like a million years ago so I barely remember.

Shanna

I know, I know. Same, same. But we are going to jump right in and ask each other some questions so we can reflect back on this last year. Yes, let's get started. Some of these questions we got from a blog called Daring to Love Fully. I really love some of these questions that allow us to think back on the year. And then some questions we came up with on our own. That is right.

Laura

And I am ready to jump in with the first question. Are you ready?

Shanna

Yeah, I'm ready.

Laura

Okay, what was one of the most memorable things that happened this year?

Shanna

One of the most memorable things that happened this year, well, as you know, Laura, we are in this COVID pandemic. So that is going to be a big obvious that's kind of floating over all of our answers, right? I don't want to belabor this issue, but some of our answers are going to have to do with that.

Laura

Oh, yeah. I think, you know, there's no getting around it. It's sort of the backdrop for this whole year for the most part since March. So we can't avoid it, but we're not going to go. We're not going to wallow too much.

Shanna

Exactly. So one of my most memorable things this year was setting up the preschool for L and CECE, where I transformed our family room into a little classroom. And it was so fun. Like I had so much fun just like learning about what to do in a preschool class and buying stuff online and setting it up all cute and making it this really lovely space where we could spend some more educational time, some play time, instead of just this chaotic mess that was in that room.

Laura

Yeah, I think that was such a good achievement on your part. So definitely memorable.

Shanna

Yeah. What about you, Laura? What's one of the most memorable things that happened to you this year?

Laura

Well, I mean, I got pregnant. Oh, yes, that's a big one. So just like with COVID, my pregnancy is going to be like the backdrop of this year. So I guess that really is the most memorable thing, you know, the sort of probably getting my BFP. Yeah.

Shanna

Yeah. That's so exciting and definitely memorable. Definitely memorable. If you do forget that, that would be really weird.

Laura

I mean, to be fair, there are times where I'm just like right before we got on the phone, I caught a glimpse of myself and I was like, my stomach looks so huge. And I was like, you're pregnant. I had completely forgotten that I would look different. That's so funny. Okay.

Shanna

Okay, I have one for you. What was your biggest parenting challenge this year?

Laura

I think definitely the emergence of tantrums. So, you know, one of the benefits of having a kid who was born on January 4th is that the calendar year lines up with their age perfectly. So, you know, being one is like just tantrum land. That's where they show up. And so I think learning how to navigate those, learning how to be comfortable with his emotions and learning how to personally not get flustered by them, I think that was definitely my biggest challenge.

Shanna

Mm-hmm. That is such a hard one. And as you know, that's been one for me too.

Laura

Yeah. What about you? Would you say that's yours or do you have something else?

Shanna

No, I don't think I would say that. I think one of my biggest challenges this year was being patient with two kids who want my attention all the time. You know, they're with me now. All the time all day every day and i'm trying to juggle a full time job and you know everything around the house and just these little beans i wish i could pay all the attention in the world and play pretend daniel tiger and pretend this and that all the time but that's not possible so i've had to. be patient with them. I've had to learn to say no and have some boundaries about saying no when I can't do that. But that's been kind of hard for me.

Laura

Yeah, I think it's hard for everyone. Yeah, it is. Okay, so moving on. Next question. What made you laugh the hardest this year?

Shanna

Oh, I love that question. Well, I don't know if I have something specifically, but CECE's laugh is so hearty and so contagious. And when she really gets going, I cannot help but just crack up too because she's just hilarious. Like, okay, so I've talked before on the podcast how she does a little dog whistle, you know. Daddy, mommy. We were filming her doing that and she was just watching herself and cracking up and laughing so hard and then I got laughing and the two of us were just rolling. It was so fun. She's so funny.

Laura

I just love them at this age. I feel like the big emotions are really paired with just being hilarious in general. They're just big personality, which has really, really been fun for me this year.

Shanna

Yeah. And there's no self consciousness to the laughter or the crying, right? It's just like, oh, this is something I feeling here it comes. Yeah. And that's so cute. Yeah. All right. What about you? What's the most you've laughed this year?

Laura

Yeah, ours, you know, I feel like I would be honest if it wasn't a parenting related thing. You know, I tell you it was like some show or something, but honestly, The thing that just cracked me and Cory up so hard was this new trend that my toddler started, I think around like 21 months, he started singing along to his lullabies when we were like trying to rock him. before bed like we turn the lights off and we sing him twinkle twinkle little star and Bob off black sheep and then put him in his crib right and he just started out of the blue singing along but it is like super loud like.

Shanna

Oh, that's so great. I love it. Hilarious.

Laura

So that was a really, really good laugh.

Shanna

That's so good. And so when you were trying to control the laugh, were you silently laughing?

Laura

Oh, God, no, we couldn't help it. I mean, at first you try, and of course that always makes laughing worse, right? Because we were trying to stifle it. And then I'd hear Corey trying to stifle the laugh. It's like on SNL when they're all starting to break, they're all starting to laugh and they see each other laughing and they just have to look away from each other and then it's contagious. They just can't stop. Yeah.

Shanna

Fun, does he still sing loud like that?

Laura

He does, but we've kind of gotten used to it. So it's not so as funny anymore.

Shanna

Yeah. Cutie pie. OK, I have one for you. Aside from COVID-19, what was the most surprising thing that happened to you this year?

Laura

Good question. I think for me, I honestly think the most surprising thing was getting pregnant on my first cycle. Oh my god, yeah. I did not see that coming. I had just turned 38. All signs pointed to it taking at least a few cycles. And that's what happened last time with my toddler. It took a few cycles. Not a huge amount. And I'm very grateful for that. But to get it on the first go, I was like, all right, I guess this is... You meant to me, you know.

Shanna

Yeah, especially because you were breastfeeding, too, still, which sometimes can make it tricky.

Laura

Yeah, I know. So yeah, that was definitely very surprising to me. And I'm grateful for it. I'm glad that it happened so fast because it definitely, you know, TTC is always a stressful time. So, but yeah, definitely the most surprising shot. How about you?

Shanna

I think the most surprising thing is that I have become more of a homemaker than I ever have been. Like I'm really getting into gardening, taking care of the yard, you know, planning my succulents, which I've talked about before cooking. I really like cooking meals and learning new recipes and baking. And I'm just this little Martha Stewart that I never knew I had inside of me. And I'm loving it. I think that's really the surprising thing, too, is it's really fun and I'm just falling in love with my home and taking care of it and taking care of my family.

Laura

You know I'm on board with that.

Shanna

Yeah you've been that way for a long time.

Laura

Okay that actually leads in perfectly to the next question which is what new skill or hobby did you pick up this year? which sounds like you just answered.

Shanna

Yeah, no, that does lead in perfectly because of all that stuff I talked about, I think one skill I acquired this year, which I am so happy about is I finally figured out how to make the perfect homemade pizza. Ooh. Yes, Steve and I have been making pizza at home for years. I mean, over a decade. And it's good and we love homemade pizza, but my processes have evolved over the years. And what I've always tried to get was that kind of bubbly, chewy crust that you get in Neapolitan pizza, because that's my absolute favorite, like wood-fired Neapolitan pizza. Yeah, so good.

Laura

It's hard to achieve at home. Yeah. I mean, it's nearly impossible. So tell us.

Shanna

Yes, I got a recipe for the dough from a neighbor and apparently it's from the book Salt, Fat, Acid, Yeast. I didn't know that they had that version of that book. Yeah. And it is the best dough I've ever made at home. And then what we did was crank up the grill outside to the highest heat possible. We heated up a stone. I should say I did this because I made the pizza myself. Usually Steve is in charge of pizza. And this one I don't know. He was busy or something. And I was nervous, but I took charge, Laura. Nice. And I heated up the stone and cooked it in there, which is a little bit different. And oh my God, it got bubbly. It was chewy. It was the best pizza I've ever made at home. And I'm very proud of that.

Laura

I wish I could come over and have that pizza right now because Neapolitan pizza is my absolute favorite. And we got rid of our grill because it was so old and it was literally like rusting and falling apart. So I think that might be a fun 2021 goal, though.

Shanna

Yeah, come over for a pizza party.

Laura

I was going to say learn how to make it. But yeah, that sounds easier. Come over.

Shanna

I think that's a goal you can very easily achieve. Sweet. What about you? What skill or hobby have you acquired this year?

Laura

This is a hard question for me because in a lot of ways, you know, I have a lot of hobbies, like a lot, a lot of hobbies. A quick rundown is knitting, quilting, spinning my own wool, weaving, gardening, baking, cooking. What else have I done? So you have no room for more hobbies is what you're saying? I literally have no more physical room in my house for more hobbies. And the question kind of gives me a little bit of like a sad feeling because I feel like more than anything, I'm like dropping hobbies. Because, you know, with quarantine and having a toddler and being pregnant, there's just not a lot of time for me to do my crafts or my hobbies. But I will say I did go, you know, basic quarantine bitch. And I went through a real sourdough phase.

Shanna

Oh, yeah, that was a big thing right in the beginning of quarantine.

Laura

Actually, the only reason I stopped is because it got really hot. It was like, you know, maybe like June or July. It started getting too hot to leave the oven on for like a whole afternoon. So and my sourdough starter has been languishing in the fridge. So I don't know if it's any good anymore. But I went through a real good sourdough stretch and it was delicious and amazing. So one of the best things about sourdough is that you end up with all this discard, right? When you're like refreshing the sourdough starter. And I found all these different things to do with it. So we were doing like sourdough waffles every Sunday was part of our, you know, quarantine tradition was waffles Sunday with the sourdough starter. And they're so good, like they get extra tang and I would make these like savory pancakes with them. So yeah. So I guess I learned a lot about sourdough bread baking.

Shanna

Yeah. Oh, you will. You will. One of these days.

Laura

So yeah, I got to check and see if my sourdough starter can be revived. Actually, shall I go do that now? Just kidding. We do need to take a break. Let's take a quick break and then come back with some more questions. Let's do it.

Shanna

We are back and we have more questions to ask each other about 2020. Laura, I wanna know what was the most fun you had this year?

Laura

Oh, goodness. I have to think about this for a second because I have to say that fun is definitely not the like top adjective I would use to describe 2020 so far, you know?

Shanna

Yeah, that's why this is a good challenging question to try to focus on something other than the obvious of this year.

Laura

Yeah. I have to say, maybe I'll go all the way back. I actually think my toddler's first birthday party was one of the most fun times I had this year.

Shanna

Yeah.

Laura

Because it was so much fun to see everyone and it's just something I keep thinking about. I can't wait to get back to when we were all getting together and just playing and everyone was happy. And so, you know, I think that was just extremely fun. I'm really, really glad that we had the first birthday party for him because I remember thinking like, oh, it's silly. You won't remember it, but it really, really was fun. And so I'll say that. I think the first birthday party.

Shanna

Yes, totally.

Laura

How about you?

Shanna

Well, on the same track, it has to be pre-COVID when I had Elle's fourth birthday party at the bowling alley.

Laura

Oh yeah, we missed that one.

Shanna

You did, but it was a blast. Like every single kid in her preschool class was there, and I'm talking like 16. Oh my gosh I'm sure I talked about it in a previous episode but that to me was very special because again like you said I was hesitant on whether or not to give her a big birthday party and I'm so glad that I did and gave her kind of a last hurrah before she kind of couldn't see her friends anymore. So it was fun. I love the parents of her friends. It was just a big social gathering that made me really, really, really happy. I don't remember why we missed it.

Laura

I think it was nap time. I think that's why.

Shanna

It was. Yep. That totally makes sense. It was during morning nap, I believe.

Laura

Yeah. That was before we dropped down to one nap. So, alas. Plus, you know, I have messed up wrists and I'm not good at bowling and I don't have a four year old.

Shanna

Yeah, it wasn't about the adult bowling. It was definitely about the kids and your little one wasn't going to be rolling any nine-pound balls.

Laura

No, I think he was just barely walking at that point. Yeah. OK. All right, next question. What was the best book you read this year?

Shanna

I need to admit that I did not finish any books this year. Wow. Reading was a hobby I definitely dropped in 2020. It was just really, really hard for me to read. If I did have time to read, it was at the end of the day and it would put me to sleep. But I did receive some really good books this year and I read the titles of them. So I'm looking forward to one of them was Becoming by Michelle Obama.

Laura

I have that in my library waiting to go. Yeah, the audiobook actually. I've heard it's really good. Maybe we'll do a little book club and read that book at the same time.

Shanna

Oh, that's a good idea. And then where'd you go, Bernadette? I started that one actually, and it's really good so far, so I've got to finish it.

Laura

Didn't they make that into a movie recently with like Kate Blanchett or something?

Shanna

Yes. If I look on the cover of this book, it says now a major motion picture. Oh, yes. I think you're right. I'm so embarrassed to admit that my reading has just gone down the toilet. Next year, I will be better. Next year, I will be better.

Laura

You know, this year is about prioritizing. And I think that going a year without reading any fiction, it's OK. There's a lot going on.

Shanna

There's so much going on. I'm going to get myself a pass. But what about you? I know you like reading a lot. So what's the best book you read this year?

Laura

Well, I don't have an answer to this question because I can't pick one. I actually did a lot more reading this year than I expected. And I think it's because I got that Kindle paperwhite that I talked about in the holiday gift guide, I think. And our friend Heather actually kind of like twisted my arm to get it because I was like, I want to read more blah blah blah. And she was like, get the Kindle. It's so amazing. You can use it in the bath. Just get it. And so I finally just like splurged and got it for myself. So I've been reading a ton, mostly from the library app, you know, because you can get Kindle book from the Libby app, at least for our public library. So I'll just I'll just mention a couple that I thought were really good. OK, so I listened to the audiobook of Such a Fun Age by Kylie Reid.

Shanna

Yeah, can you give us a logline?

Laura

So it's basically the story of like a mother, probably about our age, who's like fairly well off in Philadelphia and has a nanny who is a black woman. And there's like an incident at the beginning where the nanny is accused of kidnapping the small child. And it sounds like, oh, God, it's going to be all like very dark and scary. And, you know, very heavy. It's not actually at all. If you're worried about reading it, that incident ends completely peacefully, no problem. But it kicks off this series of events where the mother and the nanny start to sort of reevaluate things in their life. And it's actually very interesting, very fun, has a really, really satisfying ending. So I like that one. And I mentioned race because it's actually like a really big element in the book.

Shanna

Oh, good. I want to check that one out.

Laura

Yeah. And then real quickly, I read Rodham by Curtis Sidenfeld, which is a fictional, like fictionalization of what Hillary Clinton's life would have been if she hadn't married Bill, which was like really, it's super interesting. It's so well written. And then the last one I'll mention is this book called Kim Ji Young, born 1982. which is a Korean book that is about a woman mother who's born in 1982 which you know is the year I was born so very easy to relate to and it's very hard to describe but it's sort of about all the little ways being a woman changes your life, like puts you at a slight disadvantage.

Shanna

Okay.

Laura

And it's all set in Korea, which I think is also really interesting because it gives you a glimpse into a different culture that still has a lot of societal prejudice against working mothers. And I think our society also has that, but it was interesting to see from that perspective for sure. So Kim Ji Young born 1982, super interesting.

Shanna

Yeah.

Laura

So I'm sorry I couldn't pick one.

Shanna

No, that's OK. Now we all have three awesome recommendations that we will link in our show notes so we can find them easily.

Laura

Yes, for sure.

Shanna

Yeah.

Laura

Okay. Sean, I think we asked this question last year. What was your biggest time waster this year?

Shanna

Oh, that's a good one. It's obviously not reading because I didn't do any of that. You know, I don't think I had a lot of time to waste this year. I mean, maybe before the lockdown, but my God, my life has been so jam packed with stuff from the moment I wake up to the moment my kids go to bed. So I've got like a couple of free hours at night and I do watch TV. I watch like some baking shows, some comedies, but I don't think I would call that time wasting because I really get a lot of relaxation and decompression from that.

Laura

Yeah. Relaxing isn't time wasting, though. Are you just saying you're super efficient? You have zero waste of time.

Shanna

I think I'm saying I'm super efficient. You guys should all strive to be me. No, if I think back, especially before March, I would say probably playing games on my phone. You know, just one of those things where you pick up your phone in between activities and find yourself playing something. And then you look at your weekly screen usage at the end of the week. And it's like, you spent eight hours a day on your phone. You're like, ah, oh my god.

Laura

I turned that off years ago. I didn't want to know.

Shanna

Good for you. That's what I should do. It never even crossed my mind.

Laura

Every time we came up, I was like, I don't care. I just give me something else to worry about.

Shanna

There's plenty of other things. What about you? What's your biggest time waster this year?

Laura

I think I said this last year. I probably say the same thing this year. I think it was Facebook. Like I scroll too much. You know, I think that Facebook has a really good purpose. I love our community group. And I love, you know, I love keeping in touch with friends and family. But then once you've done that, you've done it and like you should turn it off by don't you know what I mean? Like once I've done all the things I like checked on all the things I want to check on all the groups I want to check on, I should put it away. But instead, I just find myself scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling.

Shanna

I understand. I mean, I know I have two to my own horn in this segment already, but I feel like that's something I got better at this year. I think last year I said that two, that that was my biggest time waster, and this year it's like, I just had no patience for scrolling and scrolling and scrolling. It's like I check in on my community groups, which really uplift me and bring me a lot of joy, and then scroll a minute, and then I'm like, ugh, and I can put it away. So I feel a little bit proud of myself for that. Good, you should. You should. Yeah, yeah. Next question, Laura. If you could travel back to the beginning of the year, what advice would you give yourself?

Laura

Do all the things in January and February. I think that's what I would tell myself, except every social engagement, travel a little bit more. Don't say, we can do it later. Don't put any of that stuff off. Just go to all the things. Get a babysitter and go out to dinner with Corey and see a movie. Because those are the things I really miss the most. I think that's what I would tell myself is, live it up in January and February.

Shanna

Yes.

Laura

You'll have plenty of home time later.

Shanna

Exactly. Oh, that's such a good answer. How about you? I wanted to steal that answer very much because it's so true. It's like, oh my God, don't be a homebody for the first three months. Do everything. But other than that, I think I would have told myself buy as many nugget couches as possible and save them and sell them on the nugget black market later in the year because that shit is in high Hot demand now.

Laura

Hot. It's crazy. Mm-hmm. They're reselling for like twice as much as you buy them for, right?

Shanna

Oh my God, I could have made such a profit. You know, I got mine before it got really crazy and I'm really grateful for that. But woo, if I would have known, ooh, baby. Well, get your time machine. Go back. I know. That really is the most important thing of the year. I need to change.

Laura

Okay. Next one. What are you the most proud of this year?

Shanna

What am I most proud of this year? I feel like a couple things come to mind. Being consistent with our podcast, first of all, despite being really busy, I'm really proud that we have kept this up.

Laura

Me too. Me too. I'm piggybacking on that one because Good for us. We've never missed a week.

Shanna

Yeah. So I'm really proud of that. I'm proud of myself for consistently taking care of my mental health and working on that and not giving up on that and keeping a joyful attitude for the most part. Obviously, I've struggled. I talk about it on the podcast, but This year has been really hard and one of my main goals has been to be joyful for the kids, for myself, for our family to try to keep the spirit up. So every holiday, every birthday, I try to really do it up and make as much celebration and happiness and joy despite the fact that we're stuck at home and it's been really challenging.

Laura

That's great. I think you've done such a great job of that. really go all out with the decorations for birthdays and holidays and stuff. So I commend you on that.

Shanna

Thank you. Thank you. What about you? What are you most proud of this year?

Laura

I feel like just keeping my shit together basically. Yes. Yes. I mean, it's not one particular thing, but just sort of the overall fact that we're all still healthy. Thank goodness. We're all relatively happy. I mean, we all have our moments, you know? Yeah. But that Corey and I have been able to go nine months now without any childcare at all, without a single night away, without a single day away. And we still like each other, all of us, all three of us like each other.

Shanna

That's amazing.

Laura

Yeah, I think that's the thing. And the fact that we're all still kind to each other, we all have our moments where we're just kind of getting irritated. And I think anyone gets a little bit of cabin fever with this sort of thing. But we're all still making a really good effort to be kind to each other and just compassionate. And it's really, I'm proud of that, of being able to help foster that kind of culture in our house. Because I think it also, the toddler really picks up on that and the fact that his parents are compassionate and forgiving of each other. And maybe we aren't always just like on cloud nine, happy and love with every moment, but we make it work. So yeah, I think that's what I'm most proud of, just like. Yeah, that's really great. Keeping my shit together through all this.

Shanna

Ooh, Galora. No, that's amazing. You've done an awesome job. I commend you. Thanks, Shanna. Thank you. Laura, I think we need to take a break and come back with a few more questions. What do you think?

Laura

Yes, sounds great.

Shanna

We're back and we have more retrospective questions. Laura, what was your favorite podcast to listen to this year?

Laura

Let's see, I think it's kind of a tie, three-way tie between Reply All, which is like my perennial favorite. Oh yeah, that was on my list too. Heavyweight. Mm-hmm, which is amazing and happier in Hollywood. I just I never miss an episode of happier in Hollywood. Oh really? Oh cool. Yeah, I just I like hearing Liz and Sarah talk and you know I just it just feels like I'm checking in with friends and I just really enjoy their perspective. So, yeah.

Shanna

Oh, fun. How about you? Well, let's take a dark turn. I have enjoyed listening to a couple of murder mysteries this year. Oh, man. I can't do those anymore. Yeah, I know. I have enjoyed, I don't want to say enjoyed because it's kind of a, you know, it's whatever. One I've listened to is your own backyard, which is about a missing college girl. who goes missing in San Luis Obispo, and then to live and die in LA about a missing actress. And then on the funny side, I really love Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. That's one where I like to catch every episode. I always laugh. Conan is hilarious to me and his sidekicks. I've talked about this show before on the podcast. I always get a kick out of that one and it lifts my spirits.

Laura

I do love that one too. I don't listen to every episode, but I'll pick and choose a few and they're always delightful.

Shanna

Mm-hmm.

Laura

Yeah, so fun. Okay, so on that note, I want to know what your favorite episode of our podcast was this year.

Shanna

Oh, is it so arrogant to say that I have so many to choose from? I can't. But mostly because it's just so fun. It's fun. Our special segments are so fun, and we've really covered a lot of interesting topics, and I've learned a lot. But this year, I would have to say our first throwback episode. We introduced the new segment, Throwback, where we tell stories from our own childhood that relate to parenting or You know, what have you. And that one was just a blast. You told the hilarious story about how you lied about getting a perm. Yep. Which is so fun and funny. And I told a story about how I pretended to be a Girl Scout so I could get money to go roller skating. I mean, just funny, ridiculous, honest stories. And I really had a blast doing that one.

Laura

That was episode 108 for anyone who's- 108. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Shanna

What about you, Laura? What's your favorite?

Laura

Yeah, mine's very similar. I actually was just going to say like all of our throwback episodes are my favorite because I love that new segment. It was your idea. I got to give you credit for the throwback idea.

Shanna

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

Laura

And I feel like people really have responded to our stories, which is always nice to hear. And yeah, it's just been really fun recording them. So let's see, we've got episode 108 is throwback and then episodes 123 and 124. So those are definitely, definitely favorites. But if I'm not going to be like a copycat and copy your answer, I'm actually going to say my favorite would probably be episode 100. I was, yes. The Husbands Tell All episode.

Shanna

That was on my list. It's so good. That was a fun one.

Laura

Yes. For our 100th episode, we cajoled Cory and Steve to come on the show and answer questions. And that was really fun. That was fun to do. And it was fun to put out in the world. And so, yeah, definitely.

Shanna

Good answer. Next question. What did you learn about yourself this year?

Laura

Oh, man, a lot. I feel like I learned that I have a lot more in reserve than I thought I did.

Shanna

Oh, interesting. What do you mean by that?

Laura

You know, if you had told me at the beginning of the year, like, all right, here's what's coming. you're about to spend nine months, you're going to lose your childcare, you're going to lose your house cleaning, you know, your house cleaner, you're going to see your parents twice. And, you know, it's going to be a fraught with, you know, stress because you're going to be worried the whole time, you're going to infect them or whatever, you know, all this stuff. I would have been like, I can't do that. I can't do that. I don't know if I thought I would be able to handle that, but clearly I have. I've been able to run this marathon of this year, the never-ending marathon of COVID-19, and I somehow still find reserves.

Shanna

That's, yes, that's amazing. And that's so cool that you learn that about yourself. You can take that moving forward into any other situation.

Laura

Yeah. I mean, I hope I don't have to go through anything harder than a quarantine while pregnant with a toddler with no help other than Corey, you know, but if I ever do, I know that I have that strength.

Shanna

Yes, you do.

Laura

Yeah. How about you, Shanna?

Shanna

Along this very similar line, I learned that I'm adaptable. I knew I was adaptable, but how adaptable I can be and how quickly. That surprised me. We got thrust into this situation, and within a couple weeks, it didn't feel normal, but I had accepted it as the new normal and jumped to action. get this preschool going and we're gonna do this. Okay, I like being at home with my family. How am I gonna adjust my routine, et cetera, et cetera. And I guess that's a really cool thing to learn about myself too because that's something I can take going forward into other situations.

Laura

Yeah, definitely. Definitely.

Shanna

I think I also learned how much I crave social interaction. Like maybe I'm actually more of an extrovert than I thought I was before. I always thought I would kind of balanced in the middle. And now I'm just like, nope, this lack of social interaction has driven me to, you know, online groups and I've made friends online and I just like need to talk to people and I can't wait to see people again. And I'm like, oh, I think this is like really who I really am.

Laura

This is my true self.

Shanna

Yeah.

Laura

Yeah.

Shanna

That's good insight. Yeah. Yeah. Which I think going forward, I can be like, okay, I'm going to say yes to more things now because when I do, then I really enjoy them.

Laura

That's awesome. Yeah. I can't wait to just say yes to all of the social interaction when it's available to us. Yeah. Because I'm the same way. I would be like, I don't know. Let's stay in. I don't know. I think it'll be a long time before I start feeling like that again.

Shanna

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Cut to a year from now. We're like, no, we just want to stay in the comfort of our home.

Laura

Right. Yeah. All right. OK, Shanna. So we're coming to the end of the episode. I want to ask you, what three words sum up your year?

Shanna

Oh, that's always such a good one. Challenging, of course. Definitely challenging. As much as I've been able to adapt, it's not like it's been easy, right, to do that. It's taken work and I've been drained and I've been exhausted and I've had to bounce back from that over and over and over. As I'm sure you know and a lot of our listeners know.

Laura

Yeah.

Shanna

So definitely challenging. It has oddly been indulgent that being trapped in my home has, I mean, you guys know, I've bought so much shit for my house and my kids. It's like the joy, like my new joy is like, oh, what can I buy to entertain the family? And I've just bought a lot of stuff so that I wouldn't before, right? It's not like before this, I was off buying bounce houses and

Laura

Yeah, I feel like we were definitely one of sort of my more frugal friends for sure. Oh, yeah. You're still frugal, I should say. You're not like spending $1,000 on a random toy your kids are going to play with once, you know. Right, right. But you definitely weren't like, I would never have thought of you as like a big shopper.

Shanna

No, God, no, no, no, not at all. And this year, Steve and I have gotten sushi delivery like so many times. I mean, there was like three months there where it was like every single weekend and, you know, that stuff's pricey and we would have never done that before. But it's like, we deserve it. We deserve it. I think that's the underlying thing, you know, of all of this, like we deserve it. And we're saving so much money on childcare because we were spending a fortune on Elle's preschool. And now all of a sudden we have that in our pocket. And it's like, well, I'm earning that because I'm taking care of her now. So sushi for everybody.

Laura

Yes. Treat yourself.

Shanna

Treat yourself. And then the last one I would say is heartwarming because I've gotten to spend so much time with my girls in a way that wouldn't have happened, you know, had this happened. I love seeing Elle so much. I've spoken before about how she used to spend so many hours commuting and going to school. And I missed out on that. And now it's just so wonderful and heartwarming to connect with her more, to see her connect with CeCe more. My God, they are like two peas in a pod now. And they'll go off and play and laugh. And oh, my God, it's just the most wonderful thing. And I'm so grateful I've gotten to spend so much time with them. Oh, that's so sweet. Yeah. What about you? What three words sum up your year?

Laura

Hmm. All right. My first would be maybe like endurance. Ooh, that's a good one. I feel like this year is very much about endurance for me. Like every time I've gotten to that point where I think I just can't do it anymore, it's just like, suck it up, finish that marathon, you know? Yes. And, you know, that's both with COVID and with the pregnancy, you know, like there are times where it's just like, oh, I hurt so bad. It was like, gotta keep going. The baby's got to, you know, you got to keep that baby inside for, you know, X number of weeks left. So yeah, endurance there for sure. Yeah. I think another would be cozy.

Shanna

Oh, I like that. Yeah.

Laura

Because, you know, we live in a smallish house with a smallish yard, and it's just the three of us, you know, and the two cats. And I feel like we've really gotten, you know, we spend so much time at home, but it's awfully cozy. to just have your little house and your little family. And, you know, it just feels sort of like you said heartwarming, like it just feels like warm and fuzzy and cozy, even though my toddler is supposedly anti cozy.

Shanna

I was going to say that's an ironic one considering he does not like coziness.

Laura

I have to say, this morning, he asked for me to put the blanket over him when we were cuddling.

Shanna

He's changing.

Laura

Yeah, he might be becoming pro-cozy. And the third, I think, might be polarizing. Mm-hmm. What do you mean by that? Well, I just feel like... The highs and the lows of this year are just, were just so big, you know, there's just some really, really just intense, great moments like, you know, getting pregnant and having that work out and, you know, and to the darkness of like the end of March when we were so scared and didn't know what was going on and everything was so scary. And, you know, just these ups and downs and, you know, politics was so polarizing. this year. I mean, it's so easy to forget now. It feels like a million years ago that the election was going on, but that was a stressful, polarizing time. And so I think for me, both just personally, I had so many great fantastic moments with my family that I'll never forget. And then at the same time, it's just like,

Shanna

Absolutely. Yes, I agree with that one.

Laura

Yeah.

Shanna

Okay, Laura, we have one final question and this one's looking forward into 2021. What are you most looking forward to in the new year?

Laura

Well, I think, you know, obviously, having my baby I think is the number one thing, obviously. But to be a little bit more specific, I'm actually looking forward to like newborn nesting time, you know? Or I guess nesting might not be the right word because that's what you're supposed to do before the baby comes. But sort of that like hunkering down you do with the newborn. I'm actually really looking forward to doing that in the current, you know, COVID climate, because I'm not going to feel any pressure to have lots of visitors or go lots of places. Like, I think I can really actually take the time and be present and be cozy with my newborn. Oh, yeah.

Shanna

And that'll be some nice downtime after all of this craziness of this year. You're just going to be able to sit, breastfeed, snuggle with the cutie and relax, hopefully.

Laura

Hopefully, yeah, I mean, you add the toddler in. So who knows? Yeah. And yeah, I just I look back at pictures of when my now toddler was a newborn and I just get that like warm feeling like, you know, you just remember those like long hours on the couch and your quote unquote nap trapped. And like, I can't wait to be nap trapped again, you know, you don't think you're going to miss that. And then you do. So yeah. So I think that's what I'm looking forward to the most a little snuggly newborn to just be a homebody with.

Shanna

Oh, so sweet.

Laura

Yes. Okay. How about you? What are you most looking forward to in 2021?

Shanna

Well, I don't have a newborn to look forward to. So I'm going to have to go the complete opposite and say things like backyard barbecues. Like that's just the thing that comes to mind when I think of, you know, reinvigorating social life, getting together with my friends. You know me, I love having dinner parties, love having barbecues. And I just want to have a big backyard thing where our kids all get together. and play and run around and see how they interact because, you know, they've been missing each other for so long and eat good food and just talk and tell stories. And I am so, so looking forward to that. Get that vaccine in my arm.

Laura

I want to be over there. Yes. You know, it's so funny because that's the exact thing I like have been fantasizing about, not about like traveling to Europe or doing anything really big. It's like literally going over to your house and hanging out in the backyard while the kids play like exactly that or a friend Allison's house. We do a lot of like

Shanna

We're so happy to see each other. It's going to be so great. So I hope things. Get better very soon and we get our vaccines and we can all have backyard barbecue and I can make you all my famous pizza.

Laura

Yes, I want pizza now.

Shanna

Oh, sounds so good. Oh my gosh. What a fun episode. Thanks for looking back on the year with me, Laura.

Laura

Always. Thank you for taking me on that trip down memory lane. Aw. cathartic and wonderful.

Shanna

Indeed. Listeners, if you have anything you want to share with us about 2020, if you want to share any of your answers with the questions we pose, we would love to hear from you. Laura, where can everyone reach us?

Laura

We are on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook at bfbpodcast. We have a website, bigfatpositivepodcast.com. If you want to send us an email, you can reach us at contact at bigfatpositivepodcast.com. Throw a voice memo in there for extra bonus points. And finally you can join our Facebook community group. Just search Big Fat Positive Community. It's a private group so you have to request to join. Answer the two membership questions so we know you're not a robot and then you can get in and share all your wonderful reflections on 2020 and your hopes for 2021 with the amazing and supportive group that we have going on in there.

Shanna

Please rate and review us wherever you listen to podcasts. That's so, so helpful for us. It helps new listeners be exposed to our show and feel confident in taking a chance on Big Fat Positive and spread the word. Let your friends know about our show. Big Fat Positive is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thanks for listening, everyone. Bye and happy new year. Happy new year.