Botox, Tandem Nursing and More: Ask-Us-Anything Minisode #10

Laura

Welcome to Big Fat Positive with Shanna and Laura. On this special Ask Us Anything mini-sode, we talk about Botox, Parenting Blunders, and introducing a new little brother. Let's get started. Hi, everyone. Thanks for joining us for this Ask Us Anything mini-sode. Hi, Shanna. Hi. So this is a mini-sode, so we better get to business and answer those questions. We just have a few questions we're going to answer in each one of these. Just a quick little nugget of an episode for you all to keep you satiated throughout these cold winter weeks.

Shanna

Yes.

Laura

Yes. Okay. So our first question actually comes from a listener who we've like talked to a bunch over Messenger. She's clearly a fan. I'm assuming she's a she, but we have no idea what her name is. So if you recognize this question and you want to tell us what your name is, please write in. But this mystery listener asks, have you tried Botox? I've been wanting it, but haven't because either pregnant breastfeeding or TTC LOL. Shanna, have you tried Botox?

Shanna

Bunny, you should ask because guess what I did yesterday?

Laura

You went on a cruise.

Shanna

Bingo! No, I got Botox for the first time. I got it for migraine headaches. I'm not opposed to getting it for aesthetic reasons and I don't judge anybody who does. It just so happens that I have tried almost everything for migraines and the doctor's like, hey, let's try Botox. And so I did that yesterday. So I do have the experience of trying it. So I don't know. Do you want to hear about it, Laura?

Laura

Yeah. Okay. So I have a lot of questions. Like, first of all, where did they put all the Botox for migraines? Like, I know that when you have wrinkles, they put it where the wrinkles are, right? To make them go away?

Shanna

Mm-hmm. So yes, I got a lot of injections yesterday, probably like 20 to 25. And he started right between my eyes. And which is a wrinkle spot, you know, for a lot of people. So I'm like, ooh, we'll keep that area smooth added bonus. But then kind of above my eyebrows, a few on each side. And then up at the top of my forehead, like right near my hairline, we did a bunch there. Apparently I was bleeding a lot. I had my eyes closed and I couldn't see. He's like, oh, you're really oozing.

Laura

Oh my god, I'm just imagining like a horror movie, just like blood dripping down your face all over. Oh my god.

Shanna

No, oh my God. So he's a fellow at the headache clinic that I go to. And the resident doctor was there kind of advising him and helping out and everything. And he said, oh, you're really oozing. And she goes, oh, you have a really vascularly rich face. And I was like, wow, literally no one has ever said that to me before.

Laura

You get to your mid forties and you think like i've heard everything about myself i know myself through and through and then someone comes with a gem like you have a very vascularized face and it's just like a whole new world.

Shanna

Yeah it really is and i'm like i got a lot of blood pumping up there um you do get very flushed right if you're embarrassed. I, a little bit, yeah, especially if I exercise or workout or like get really hot in the sun and stuff. So yeah, I guess I can, I can see that now in hindsight. So funny. So then he did some in my temples, um, in the back of my neck, my shoulders. And then he's like, you know, we didn't use this whole vial. I could just like pop some more under the top of your head if you want. And I was like, I can't go for it.

Shanna

So I just got all these needle injections on the top of my head. And yeah, so that was the procedure. So are you like numb all over? How does that work? I thought I would. I didn't know if I'd be able to kind of like feel my forehead or move my forehead, but I can. I feel like normal. Like I feel like nothing. So I don't know if it's just like a lower dose, you know, for migraine treatment, like maybe for wrinkles and stuff. It's a little bit more. I'm not sure, but I'm very happy to say that I feel like I can feel my face and forehead and everything just normally. That's good.

Laura

And how about the wrinkles? Did you get a bonus wrinkle smoothing?

Shanna

I asked Steve, I said, does this look like the face of a woman who just got Botox? And he looked at me very critically and said, no, you look exactly the same.

Laura

Thanks, Steve.

Shanna

You know, I don't know that I got many benefits from that, but I don't know. Well, maybe the next treatment in three months will do a little more magic.

Laura

Well, that's a little disappointing. But also, you don't need Botox. You look beautiful as is, even with your very vascularized face.

Shanna

Thank you. Yes, I am a very proud owner of a vascularized face. What about you, Laura? Have you ever gotten Botox?

Laura

I have not. Like you, I have no judgment for people who do, and I am not ruling it out for the future. You never know. But at this moment, I don't feel compelled to. Although I have to say, I understand it more like within the past year than I ever have in the past, because I don't know. I don't know if it was just because I'm diligent about using sunscreen or genetics or what, but I didn't have a ton of wrinkles. I feel like until this year.

Shanna

Yes.

Laura

It's also expensive. It's just like we don't have the budget right now.

Shanna

Yeah. That is the thing for me. It's kind of cost prohibitive. I was asking my dermatologist at my last appointment about like the lines that kind of like my smile lines, um, which are so cute when I smile, but when I don't smile, you know, they're, they're there. And I was like, Oh, what can I do about these? And she's like, Oh, we could just pop a little filler in there. I was like, okay, great. How much is that? And she's like, Oh, like $800. I was like, Oh, so I did not do that.

Laura

Well, for what it's worth, I've never noticed your smile lines.

Shanna

Oh, you will now, and so will all our listeners. I'm so glad I pointed it out.

Laura

Yes.

Shanna

All right. Emily asks, what is your greatest area of weakness and greatest strength as a parent?

Laura

Ooh, Emily, digging deep with this question. Ooh, that's a good question. Well, with the two seconds I've had to think about it, here's what I would say. Start with my greatest weakness. I think my greatest weakness is my inability to weather my children's disappointment or their feelings of disappointment. I'm working on it. Like I'm doing better, but I definitely can see that that's kind of my Achilles heel, you know, like I do not want my children to feel disappointed about anything. And as such, I find myself caving into their demands sometimes or, you know, who knows, just it's something that will get me every time.

Shanna

I have a question about that. Yeah. Do you feel like it's because it hurts you and hurts your heart to see them sad? Or are you giving in because you know that disappointment leads to tantrums and future problems for you? Does that make sense?

Laura

Yeah, totally. No, it's not about the tantrums because I actually feel like I'm pretty good at weathering the tantrums. It's like the true sadness, right? Like when I'm talking about disappointment, I mean like those little moments where they start to see that the world isn't all magical, right? And they don't, it's not just like, oh, I didn't get my way. It's like, oh, I promise that Santa would be at the mall today. And when we got there, he wasn't there or whatever. That's a bad example because my kids don't give a shit about Santa.

Shanna

I love them so much. They sometimes feel smothered. Um, yeah, right. Let's see. I feel like I struggle with being reactive. at times like I have always struggled with patience. I'm kind of impatient. I'm kind of like a fast thinker, a fast mover. just like move through stuff and you know, and I've gotten better at that as a parent. And I mean, I've talked before about how I've like sat patiently as Cece had meltdowns that lasted almost an hour. So on one level, I'm getting really good at that. But then on the other, something unexpected that they do can trigger me, probably one of the triggers we talked about in a previous episode. And I just like, I have reactions that I don't like.

Laura

I mean, there is this whole concept that you actually can't control your emotions, right? Like our emotions are outside of our control. It's only how we react and work through the emotion that we can control, right? So it sounds like you're working on it though, right? Like you are doing most of the time doing a good job of like you'll have your emotion, but you find a way to work through it without being sassy to your children.

Shanna

Yes. And so in that regard, I come across as inconsistent. sometimes I think with them, right? Like sometimes I can just be so patient through the complete chaos of getting ready for bed or getting out the door in the morning. And I could just even be like, Steve, don't worry, I got this. And just like, I don't know, I'm very calm about things. And then just other days, whatever is building up inside of me, you know, I just can't take it. And then it's like, come on guys, come on, get your shoes on. And I just, you know, talk to them with that more like insistence. And so the, I think the inconsistency is, is weird for me. But let's move on to our strengths. Laura, what do you think is your biggest strength as a parent?

Laura

That's a good question. You know, I'm thinking about it right now and I feel like at this moment, you know, we're doing all these holiday events and like going to all these like kid-centric things like a holiday event at Augie School and another holiday event at Sebastian School, all this stuff that's like very kid-centric and really like intrinsically not that interesting as an adult. And I had a revelation recently that it was like, I could do this all day. Like I have a lot of patience for like kid-centered activity and kid-centered life. And I feel like that's a pretty good strength because I feel like a lot of people get grumpy, right? Like, I don't want to spend all day at a theme park that's boring for me. But and, you know, it's time tired and I'm hiking around.

Shanna

That is so cool. Would you say you enjoy it or you have patience for and tolerance for it when you don't like it?

Laura

I feel like I end up enjoying it because I just instantly snap into like seeing it through their eyes and like being excited that they're excited, right? Like I could go to Kidspace Museum all day and I just love it because they're so happy, you know? And I don't see it as like an inconvenience to me, which it technically is, right? Like I'm not doing anything of use, but I get very zen about it. So yeah.

Shanna

I like that.

Laura

How about you? What would you say your greatest strength is?

Shanna

I think my greatest strength as a parent is allowing my children to be themselves and express themselves and Like creating a very comfortable home in life where they feel open, accepted. We can talk about anything, anything goes, making sure that they know that I will always love them no matter what. And not trying too hard ever to make them bend to my rules, my life, what's convenient for me. As a result, I feel like their personalities are just so uniquely them because there's not a lot about me and Steve as parents or our home life that is kind of restrictive on their expression.

Laura

That's lovely. Yeah, I see that for sure in you. Thank you.

Shanna

I can't tell you how many pairs of jeans I have purchased for my kids and tried to get them to wear, but when they say, no, mom, we don't want to wear tight pants, I'm saying, okay, I will buy you lots of loose fitting comfortable pants. I mean, it's relatable. Yeah, even let you wear them to school dirty if there's no other clean pants because that's what you need to feel comfortable and be you. So that's great.

Laura

I love that. Meanwhile, all Augie wants to wear our jeans. So, you know, to each their own.

Shanna

Oh, that's amazing. All right. Well, I think we are going to take a little break, but we have a voice memo question after the break. So stay tuned for that.

Speaker 1

Hello, Laura and Shanna. First, I want to say thank you guys so much for all you do. I am a avid listener of the podcast. I think I've actually listened to every episode at least three times. the first time whenever I was pregnant, then I kind of went back through it with my first and now I am pregnant again. And that is why I am reaching out to you guys today. I have a question for both of you, specific questions for both of you. So for Laura, I am I'm kind of curious. My daughter is two years old and two months. She's going to be two years, four months whenever baby two gets here. We still nurse. It's mainly at night. It's just kind of a comfort thing at this point for her, obviously, since milk has probably dried up. I just wanted to know if you had any guidance or, you know, books or podcasts or recommendations you have for someone who might be tandem nursing.

Shanna

All right, we're going to pause there and tackle this first question first. This is for you, Laura. What do you have to say about tandem nursing?

Laura

Oh boy, what don't I have to say about tandem nursing? Okay, so for those of you who may not remember, I nursed Augie throughout my pregnancy with Sebastian. And then when Sebastian was born, I tandem nursed, which means I nursed them both. tandem, it's a little tricky because a lot of times people call tandem nursing like when you're physically nursing two children at the exact same time like one at each boob. I did not do that, but I tandem nursed in that I like would nurse one and then I'd nurse the other like they were both simultaneously in that era of breastfeeding. And I ended up weaning Augie completely right after he turned four, which is late. And I know a lot of people like Rick Hoyle at that. They're like, even I am like, that sounds old. And it was. And at that point he was nursing once a day for one minute. We had gotten down to a timer and like he would skip many days.

Speaker 1

Oh, yes. And then for Shanna, my question, I know whenever you started the podcast, it was more focused on your pregnancy and baby two CECE. I'm kind of wondering how your transition went with Elle since she was in daycare. So my daughter, as I said, it's going to be two years, four months. She's in daycare right now. She's been there since September of 2023. So she's pretty fresh. She mostly enjoys daycare. She's definitely attached to mom. She was a kind of a post-pandemic baby But I'm just wondering, you know, did you change her schedule at all? Did you keep Elle home for a couple of days or a week or anything? Or is it in your experience? Was it just better to keep the routine the same? That's kind of what we're struggling with not sure if we should pull her out for a little bit so that she can bond or if You know routine has always been a big thing for her so it might be better.

Laura

Okay, Shanna. I don't remember. What did you do with Elle when Cece was born? Did she go straight back to school?

Shanna

Okay. When Cece was born, Elle was about two and three quarters years old and she was going to preschool full time, and her preschool was where Steve and I both worked. We both worked at the same office at that time, and her school was there. We, however, had moved away from that area by that time, and so it was about a 40-minute drive there and back every day, and so we definitely were like, what do we do with Al, when Cici's born and both of us go on parental leave because Steve got maternity leave, I got maternity leave, neither of us were going down there, you know, to our office. But we decided that it was best for her to stick with routine. So when I was in the hospital, both grandmas came and they watched her and they drove her. to preschool and back every day.

Laura

And there's a thing about like being rooted in a routine when everything else is changing, right? Like at least, you know, her whole world is changing, having a new sibling, but at least that's still there, even if she doesn't love it, even if it's a day where she doesn't want to go to school, like that's staying the same. And there's something to be said about that.

Shanna

Yeah, yeah, that was part of it, too, keeping that consistency in her life in at least one area.

Laura

But also, I mean, childcare. Childcare when you have a newborn. That sounds amazing. I did not have that. Well, that's not true. My mom came and stayed for like two months. So she took care of Augie a lot while Corey and I were busy with Sebastian, but yeah.

Shanna

Mm-hmm.

Laura

It's so helpful.

Shanna

And then to your question about how to get the older child excited, I think for us, we really talked about it as CECE being her baby, like, oh, your baby's coming. You know, just really making her feel like part of the whole process and that it was going to be a little baby that she would get to kind of take care of and have some ownership in. And a lot of books, we read a lot of books about bringing baby into the house and things like that. Do you have any advice on that front, Laura?

Laura

Yeah. I just want to say, like, don't be disappointed if your two-year-old is not that interested at first. I feel like, you know, Augie was about the same age as your child is going to be when you bring home the new baby. You know, he was just older than two. And he was like, eh, about the baby, you know, about the fashion. You know, he was curious and he kind of thought he was cute and would go sit next to him for like a second. But like, he was not obsessed. He was not like oh my gosh, this is the biggest thing that's ever happened to me It took a while, but I will say that now and it's not like he was antagonistic towards the baby He just was like I want to do my own thing babies pretty boring right but I feel like once Sebastian started being more interesting like wanting to play with toys sitting up

Shanna

It'll come eventually I love that very very true. Well, thank you all, everyone, for your questions. That's it for our Ask Us Anything mini-sode. We do want to put some more mini-sodes out, so if you have any other questions you'd like us to answer on an episode, send those over. Laura, where can they reach us?

Laura

We are on TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook at BFP Podcast. We have a website, bigfatpositivepodcast.com, and an email, contact at bigfatpositivepodcast.com. Or you can join our private Facebook group. Just search Big Fat Positive Community on Facebook and request to join.

Shanna

Our show is produced by Laura Birek, Shanna Micko, and Steve Yager. Thanks for listening, everyone. Have a Big Fat Positive Week. Bye. Bye.